#Johnny is my fav and I plan on drawing him more ^_^

[smallturtlebomb]

ughhh I forgot to post this

basically a screenshot redraw

I was gonna do something different with this but I forgot what💔💔🙁🙁

[4dtk]

hi 🖤 you could write something like sugar daddy? not smut explicit, something like fluff and horny 🖤 pls ! with any nct / wayv member.

ok bestie im going to do this with my fav members (and also those who have sugar daddy feels). reader is in uni like usual! not proofread. let me know if i’ve missed any of the kinks. SO fucking long, enjoy.

also anon i couldn't resist doing nsfw stuff, part of the headcanons too, it's just brief looks into their sex life with reader!

warnings: sugar daddy!au, discussion of kinks like mutual masturbation, eating out/cunnilingus, dacryphilia, oral (f receiving), oral fixation, mirror sex, public sex, quickies, wax play, ice play, bondage, shibari, humiliation, praise, daddy kink, blowjob, deep-throating, double penetration (dp), (consensual) somnophilia, clothed sex, cuckholding, sensory deprivation, overstimulation, gagging, shower sex, phone sex, riding, doggy, spanking (also with a paddle)

members: johnny, doyoung, yuta, jaehyun, jaemin, kun

NSFW UNDER THE CUT, MINORS DNI

JOHNNY

lawd this man. i’d say that a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship is lowkey really fun when he wants to be.

even if he’s older and may be out of the loop he still wants to know what the ‘younger’ kids are doing nowadays as if he’s like 30 years older.

he’s not he’s just being dramatic

generous with his money. always tells you it’s just a gift, or it’s reward for you behaving well but he just really likes giving you money.

buys you the craziest gift and shrugs when you ask about it

gets you the prettiest outfits

acts like a kid in public LOL its honestly endearing.

the poor man has so much stress on him from his job that he’s very at ease when you ask to go on a date

if you’re talkative, he’s one to be a bit more quiet in order to hear you vent or just talk about stuff (since he’s pretty talkative too)

but if you’re a little more introverted, he doesn’t mind leading the conversation. just wants to make sure you feel heard, whether you can talk for days or would rather not say a word at all

loves u the way you are :)

tries his best to help you with uni stuff. always distracting you with hands on your body tho, and also a bit confused by your major. he’s trying his best.

would unironically fuck you on a bed full of money, im not kidding

the bank is so suspicious as to why he’s drawing so much money from the atm all at one go but it’s really to just admire you naked on shades of green. the sheets smelled like copper after it was lowkey disgusting

the whole sugar daddy thing would feed into his daddy kink, likes it even in normal circumstances like asking him to buy something for you

“what’s the magic word, princess?”

“please?”

“nuh uh, baby.”

“can i have this, daddy?” you put on your best pout and it doesn’t take long for him to cave tbh

mix between being soft and rough with you in the bedroom. surprisingly, his voice is more levelled and calm when he’s punishing you for being a brat, and when he’s rough it’s more of a softer reason (something like he missed you on his work trip or he got a bit of a scare when you get hurt or stuff like that)

always gives you what you want tho, would tease you for a bit, but like i said he caves easily and just ends up allowing you to cum because he hates to see his baby all worked up

would like stuff like quickies before a meeting, under the table shit. loves your pussy, boosts his ego when you’re writhing under him bc of his tongue and his fingers

the bedroom would mostly involve him giving praise to your cunt lol he’s obsessed. face-sitting, etc. would fucking love mirror sex holy shit (esp when you’re at a event and he can’t control himself, both mirror kink and quickie kink go brrr), clothed sex in his office, lots of praise from him, turned on when you CRY bc he’s making you feel so good. cocky bastard

DOYOUNG

your sugar daddy? or your mom? this man will NOT stop worrying about you

“do you have enough money? need me to give you more? how bout that carnival you were planning to go with your friends? aren’t the tickets and rides super expensive?”

doyoung please calm down your baby has enough cash

really doting sugar daddy! wants your best interest in mind and is the one to set boundaries in the relationship

when you’re getting your allowance, if you need more money etc, he’s usually the one planning for dates as well as choosing the outfits for events he needs to attend

likes more to follow you where you want on dates. doesn’t care much for his own interests when he’s with you. like he’ll go into a store to find suits and stuff but most of the time he’s accompanying you into the shops you want to go to

heart fills with pride when you confidently explain that you’re doyoung’s plus one and lover at events, when you claim that you’re his.

would purposely go to uni so your friends can see you with him lol. pulling up in his sports car and stuff and lean against it outside of campus

you’re like flustered and keep asking why he’s here.

“i’m picking you up for our date.”

“but you aren’t supposed to come until later! i’m not even ready…”

“just wanted to see you, angel. i’ll wait here till you get ready.”

is one to buy you like expensive gifts that he’ll only see. a promise ring, a necklace with his initials, a clutch that you use for events. they’re always really expensive that you never fail to gasp when you take it out of the gift bag. he loves that reaction

gentler dom in private. honestly makes love to you as opposed to rough fucking. there’s times where he comes home stressed and wants to take it out on you. you are NOT against it and yes he does it but is so sweet with aftercare right after.

but most of the time he’s actually pretty gentle and will only transition into a rougher person if you ask for it.

like johnny, he really likes eating you out, but believes that he should get equal treatment. loves to see you taking his dick, in your mouth, up your pussy. when you’re struggling is when he goes crazy. because he’s not forceful most of the time, seeing you deep-throating him really gets him going bc what’s better than your partner wanting to subject themselves to discomfort just to please you?

oral fixation 100%. likes you when you’re sucking on stuff like mentioned above. bonus if there’s drool coming out the sides of your mouth

bc of this he’d love mutual masturbation. more disappointed than mad when you act up, ignores you when you’re asking for him and only shoots you a raised eyebrow. he’s so smitten with you that he has to turn away to hide the smile when you’re begging.

that said, he also likes it when you beg. and like johnny, he’ll give it to you bc he’s just… so in love with you lmao

YUTA

very different when he’s in public vs when he’s with you at home/in private

doesn’t look like it but he’s mushy when he’s with you, always hands on your hips, hands in your hair, legs in his lap

crazy about you

sleeps half naked all the time, so he can feel you closer to him

times with him are always suggestive tbh but yuta likes riling you up in general

it doesn’t always lead to sex, just general make-out sessions and squeezes on your ass etc

that being said, yuta’s genuinely pretty stoic in public, bc he’s got an “image” to keep up that only makes you roll ur eyes

you find it funny sometimes and you live to make him smile slightly when you do something cute on your outings.

makes you hold onto his arm when you have outings, kinda likes the sight tbh. sometimes would hold your hand in the pocket of his coat.

likes to take you out to eat. feels satisfied when you’re eating the things you like whether it’s fast food or dessert

surprisingly really easy to talk to i guess, experienced from his time around the world and learns a lot fo things. has a lot of experience with business in japan so he likes to teach you a bit of the language while drinking at a bar or something. also teaches you the customs in drinking or alcohol games that they do in japan.

likes kissing you in public just to make other people annoyed

also likes to tease you when you’re out

but if it’s the other way? tease him and you’ll get your punishment alright

the fastest way to shut you up is when he threatens to take his black card away

one to make you sit you in his meetings with a vibrator up your cunt. fucking filthy ass

turns up the setting when people are explaining stuff to him at the office. smiles when he sees you twitch and the business partner thinks it’s bc of him

yuta’s nice to at least get the quieter ones tho so don’t worry.

lowkey has a language kink, idk idk. teaches you the lewdest words in public and doesn’t tell you the meaning, asks you to moan it out in the bedroom and he nearly cums from it. he finally tells you what it means after and you whack him after, he only laughs

if u want to rile him up, just use those words and he’ll get insanely hard

sex with him is heavenly. ALSO the type to fuck you in his office/against the window of his office. yum

would have a bit of a kink for public sex, like in a dressing room of a high-end designer store. pays the staff there to keep their mouths shut if their manager asks why there’s underwear in the dressing room.

yuta asked you to walk out the store without underwear :( poor baby :( well too bad yuta doesn’t care

doms most of the time, but likes to see you work for it on his dick. more in private and he leans back and lets you do all the work until you’re begging for him to do the fucking

humiliation is a big yes, using a paddle to spank you is something he would wanna try too

wouldn’t mind some bondage (shibari omfg!!!!!), wax play, ice play, one of the more explorative ones when in the bedroom

JAEHYUN

observant when you want something. either you’re looking at something online or when you stop by a shop’s display case, he’s getting it for you by the next time you meet

very doting on you, always helping you with uni work, helping to solve your friend’s relationship problems LMAO he’s all up in your shit.

not hesitant with affection when he’s showing you off/trying to get someone jealous. ofc his ears will show but he takes pride in handling your ass in public lol

has no patience to deal with people who questions your relationships. would stuff a huge sum of money down their pants just for them to shut the fuck up

he loves you, you love him, what’s more is there to question?

this man keeps wanting to update his wardrobe its lowkey like “uggghh… another designer store???” and he just rolls his eyes at your groans.

it’s funny, but he makes it up to you instantly when he brings you to one of your favourite stores later

mix of doyoung and johnny, believes that there should be equal things in a relationship but at the same time he loves you too much that just HAS to buy you that dress you were whining about

events with him are pretty annoying bc he’s pretty particular about his outfits so your fits always have to match with his. in colour, in brand etc

you always look good by the end of it though so who’s really losing tbh. he has an eye for fashion

likes when you take him to food places he’s never heard of before. doesn’t exactly mind expensive restaurants but likes it when you take the lead in dates and you bring him to where you want to go

i think we established this thru the fandom but this man is obsessed with breeding/creampie-ing you. likes to see it seeping it out of you after he finishes. convinces himself he doesn’t intend to do it but always cums inside

wouldn’t mind toys (kinda like dp, where he’s in you while the toy’s up your ass). would use the toys together with his tongue/fingers to make you absolutely lose it too.

i feel like he would like cuckholding but isn’t one to last to the end LMAO he’s too jealous and competitive for that.

semi-public sex ftw. a hand in your underwear at dinner or fucking yourself back onto his cock under the table as he’s in a meeting, either online or in person

also like yuta, likes seeing you lose it on his dick as he lets you do all the work, only helping you when he finds you’re moving too slow or when you’re getting tired

oh my god also another one to fuck you with cash, just not with the actual cash, but more of the stuff that he buys you. expensive dress, dangling of your bracelet, whew

also SOMNOPHILIA!!! omg (consensual ofc). when you moan quietly in your sleep as he inserts his dick, the unconscious spreading of your legs drives him crazy

JAEMIN

another one who’s generous with his money. wires you cash whenever he wants to or feels like it

shows interest in the course/major you’re studying in and actually does some reading so he can help you with your assignments. kinda like jaehyun but less interested in your personal life

if you want him to know, you’ll tell him, if not he won’t purposely pry into it

a little closer to your age so he understands the stress if you decide to put up an attitude. he’s patient, usually you’ll come back to apologise or offer to go on a date to make it up to him. he coos and gives in immediately, letting you love him in your way that he forgets you were ever mean to him

as for dates, he wouldn’t mind to go anyway but loves taking you to some of his fav cafes. the people in those different cafes know him and he always tips generously, so they usually have a table reserved for the two of you

like johnny, he would let you talk if you’re extroverted, would take the lead if you rather not talk, but at the end of day wants you to be comfortable around him

sometimes doubts himself, idk, whether he’s too young or not giving you enough cash, but you’re always there to reassure him.

would go to uni WITH you just to relive his younger days lmfao. bc he’s younger and looks younger he’d turn heads with questions like “is he a new student… i’ve never seen him before” you just let out a sigh as he giggles

shows you off at events, but is a little possessive. always has an arm around you, or an eye on you.

doesn’t like when people look at you in a sexual light

like i said before in other posts, he’s a gentle dom when he wants to be, but will NOT hesitate to put you in your place if you act up

might take away his black card, reduce the amount of times he’ll take you out, cut down on your allowance whatever

even in the bedroom too, just fucking mean if you decide to be a brat. orgasm denial, the flip side too like overstimulation, gagging, rendering you speechless literally when he fucks your face or makes you cum for the nth time. hair pulling holy shit.

okay but although he isn’t always mean, there’s some days when he still wants to treat you as such, but is softer. letting you breathe in between orgasms, praises you for taking his cock for the nth time instead of just asking you to shut up.

fucks on everywhere but the bed too. on the counters, in the shower, against the wall/floor, carrying you

especially likes the shower. uses the shower head to see your body jerk in sensitivity and he relishes in that.

phone sex is a big thing too, esp when he’s on business trips. wants to hear you when you’re bouncing on a toy as he jerks off in the hotel suite

KUN

another parent-like sugar daddy, although he’s worried about your daily life and whether you’re good at school, with your family.

is another one to also show interest in your course/major. would try his best to help you with your major but his answers are really long-winded so you tune it out after like three sentences LOL

enjoys taking you on dates. they’re usually at night since he likes to work overtime too. poor man is addicted to his work and he’s always busy so he feels weird if he’s laying around doing nothing.

will only leave it alone when you coax him out of his comfy office chair

also one to keep upgrading his closet it’s so annoying. one look from kun though and you’re shutting up because you know what he’ll do. even if you do shut up, he’ll still bring it up later anyway.

unlike jaehyun, he would rather shop for suits so he can ‘keep up with the trends’

like jaehyun, will also put people in their place when they talk about your relationship.

they don’t know shit so he just asks for their number and wires money to them so they can keep quiet. baits them by saying that he’s giving money, but it’s very little. $15 tops. it’s so funny seeing them freak out and get pissed at kun for tricking them, just says “but i never said how much. now keep your fucking trap shut unless you want me to take away your money. i already have your details.” (i know it doesn’t work that way just act like it does.)

mean ass dom. he’s really sweet on the outside but in the bedroom he kinda switches. there’s his good days, but most of the time he’s rough and asking who’s his slut

(you. you are.)

there ARE days where he goes a little gentler. when you’re aching from doing schoolwork or stressed then that’s when he fucks to make you feel better. when you’re fine tho he has no problem breaking you down and making you call out his name like it’s a prayer

boundaries/comfort is VERY important in his book. before you got into the whole ‘mean dom’ dynamic he always asks you if you’re okay with it. if you’re together for a while, he would ask you less and be rougher, but make sure you’re okay after each orgasm.

sensory play/sensory deprivation. blindfolding you is one of his favs. likes it when you jerk in shock bc you don’t know if he’s there or not

pussy. slaps.

spanking!

enjoys cuckholding like its a GAME. calls you a whore for wanting his friends’ cocks and then snatches you back to finish inside of you.

of course this is all done with everyone’s consent, and if you feel uncomfortable you’ll either use the green-yellow-red system or your safe word.

oh my god, also blindfolding AND cuckholding. makes you guess who is he with such a calm voice it scares you. you aren’t sure if he’s even enjoying fucking you bc he speaks so smoothly without a hitch in his voice.

wrong answer and you’re dead LMAO good luck

extremely gentle with aftercare tho. doting on you like doyoung does, draws a bath, changes the sheets if he needs to, brings you a cup of water.

you question him, too, when he hardly reacts/feels almost stoic as he fucks you in a cuckholding situation with his friends that you’re worried he’s become bored with you. he’s so sweet to reassure you that he only does it for the dom role that he’s in, but he truly loves your cunt and how it hugs his cock so well.

not to say that he doesn’t like pillow talk but bc he’s the one doing most of the things to make you comfortable, he rather sit in silence and just trail a hand over your features.

kun will let you talk if you need to, but sometimes you talk so much he finds himself dozing off. he doesn’t mean to! he’s just genuinely tired. even so though, he will try his best to stay awake until you fall asleep. feels safe knowing you’re asleep before succumbing to slumber himself

explicit nsfw under here. go back if you don’t want to read it!

“oh my god-!” your hands tangle itself in his hair, holding it close to your cunt as his skilled tongue works over your clit. it drags up and down the sensitive area, while his fingers thrust deeper and deeper into you with you arousal providing lubrication. it’s dizzying, how your skin heats up so easily with his touch that you’re falling apart at the seams. the silk sheets he has on his queen-sized feel soft against your skin, giving just a bit of comfort in contrast with the squirming that you do. “that’s right baby, let it all go f’r me, pretty.” they groan into your core, increasing the pace of their fingers, continually reaching that spot that it sends shivers up your whole body as he hums and laps up at your slick. “so sweet.”

— JOHNNY, DOYOUNG

“that’s right, lovely, fuck yourself with my cock,” he only groans softly, briefly checking if his microphone is off. he sneaks a glance under his table where you’re currently moving your hips onto him, on all fours as someone in the finance department goes off onto something he deems boring. biting his lip, he can see how you turn your head back to meet his eyes from below, face morphed into pleasure that all you can manage is a pathetic lolled tongue while your eyes roll back. he wished you went faster, though, snapping finally when the finance director’s speech reaches an all-time boring state. kicking away his chair, he leans on the table for support and pumps his hips into you. “oohhh fuck- mmfng, uh uh!” is all you can manage, not caring for how your head bangs against the front covering of the table as he fucks into you with impatience.

— YUTA, JAEHYUN

your head’s pushed into the pillow, mushing up against your head as it soaks up all the sweat that forms on your forehead. you’re whining into the sheets as he continues to pound into you, roughness through the rough. you love it, though. “who’s making you feel this good, whore?” you can’t even answer, distracted by the squelching noises of your dripping cunt that it makes you squeeze your eyes tight. “look at me when you’re being fucked. want to be blindfolded again?” he pulls on your hair from the back, forcing your head into an uncomfortable position to see how his cock goes in and out of you. with your head turned to the side, he kisses you messily, sloppily, and one last deep thrust has your body spasming from the immense pleasure. you can’t return the kiss, moaning instead into the other’s mouth while your back arches to feel every inch of his cock.

— JAEMIN, KUN

[doycngs]

angst - a.   |   fluff - f.   |   smut - s.   

mature - m.   |   complete - c.   

ongoing - o.  | discontinued - d.

author’s fav - +. | fan fav - =.

let me know if i incorrectly link something or if a link isn’t working, thank you.

all rights reserved © doycngs.

— don't use my work for anything without my explicit permission.

———

nct.

johnny.

guts. [a, m, c]

fuck it. if this is really your last chance to say anything, you’re going to reach out to the boy you never had the guts to love. 

taeyong.

angel of death. [a, s, m, o]

you’re a witness to the attempted assassination of the most prominent mafia gang in neo city... it looks like you’re the only one too far out of your depth.

part I. | part II. | part III. | part lV. | part V.

aod concept edit.

aod playlist.

jaehyun.

repetition. [s, m, c, =]

sick and tired of reminding you to care for yourself, jaehyun decides to teach you a lesson. after all, repetition is key and he’s not going to stop until the message has sank in on paper and skin.

reiteration. [a, f, s, m, c]

- sequel to repetition.

this time around, you have to prove a point to jaehyun when jealousy gets the best of him. but one thing he is glad for is that you’re forgivable enough to let him make it up to you.

mark.

stranger. [a, f, s, m, c, +]

the weight you’re been carrying, loving a man and loving a society that forgets you, inevitably washes away like waves carrying sand back deep into the sea when he’s here with you.

quick learner. [s, m, c]

and here you were, thinking that you were going to show your inexperienced boyfriend the ropes in the bedroom. or should you say gag?

jeno.

bet! [f, m, o, =]

it was bound to bite both your asses eventually. just plain ‘ol comedic luck that you and your best friend’s shared tradition of petty bets get you two to finally cough up years of repressed feelings for one another. 

haechan.

six feet apart. [a, f, m, s, c]

two days. one car. some unresolved issues with your ex-boyfriend. what a recipe for disaster… right?

part I.   |   part II.   |   part III.   |   part IV. (s)

misc.

punk!127 concept edit.

more is coming soon...

———

enhypen.

jay.

attached. [a, m, c]

as much as he wants to provide for you, being tied down isn’t a part of your plans. if this attachment is what will break you two apart… so be it.

riveted. [a, m, c]

- sequel to attached.

“you’ve never held onto someone so tightly before, knuckles going white and digging so hard into his solid body that you’re sure Jay is hurting. but he withstands it all, quiet and there for you as you crack and fall apart in his arms.”

jake.

3:58. [a, m, c]

“jake knew he could be the most horrible being on earth and your too-big, too-empathetic eyes could still look at him adoringly. like he still held the moons and stars in his palms and you would cherish him for it.”

jungwon.

bore me baby. [a, m, o]

jungwon would like to think selfishly and say you’ve come back a different person. and maybe you have, only to open up the scars on his heart and watch him bleed.

more is coming soon…

———

bts.

taehyung.

oh, lucifer. [a, f, s, m, o]

you’re pretty damn stupid for accidentally drawing the sigil of lucifer, in effect, trying to summon the devil a thousand times over... but you’re also pretty sure he was more stupid for falling for your dumbass.

part I. | part II.

more is coming soon...

———

seventeen.

jun.

constellation. [a, f, m, c, =]

where you lovingly drunkenly trace the moles on jun’s face and he thinks he may have feelings for you.

more is coming soon...

[thatcartoonnetworkblog]

Comic Review: Cartoon Network Presents #6

I said I was gonna do this, so let’s get this rolling!

Okay, so Cartoon Network Presents was among the first lineup of DC’s CN comics, alongside their Scooby-Doo book and The Flintstones and the Jetsons. Those are pretty self-explanatory, but CN Presents was meant to be a grab bag of the rest of their lineup, featuring favorites from the vast Hanna-Barbera library as well as some of their recent hits. At this point, I believe they were just doing Dexter’s Lab and Cow & Chicken, as Johnny Bravo’s first season was more or less written off as a failure at the time. But don’t worry, Johnny will have his day.

Okay, so confession time- this story is not new to me. Way back when, DC released a freebie comic which had stories from each of their three CN titles, and this was featured in there, alongside a short Scooby story where a stalker keeps on doning a costume to get closer to Daphne, and a Jetsons story where George is replaced by a robot version of himself. Needless to say, some serious memories came crawling back to me when I saw the cover.

Anyway, both of the stories featured in this issue are done by regulars in the comic industry, and I’ll bring up how apparent that is in a bit,

That said, I can see this story actually fit in an episode of Cow & Chicken, as it’s a cautionary tale that doesn’t go in the usual direction you’d expect, like many of David Feiss’ cartoons tend to do things. This starts off with Chicken littering, which goes against what his and Cow’s teacher taught them in school. Chicken, as per usual, is apathetic to his loud teacher’s learnings, but he changes his tune when Cow mentions that bringing in metal can bring you some change,

Needless to say, Chicken has some ideas, and he starts scourging around town. There’s a slight detour when he learns that you only receive payments from going to the trash collector directly, but it gives him incentive to have Flem and Earl help him out.

Alongside a dubious reading of Malcolm X’s philosophy.

The three of them find enough metal to hopefully make them a little richer, and they’re greeted at the trash heep by a weird looking Cerberus creature, and guess who they belong to!

Yeah, it’s the Red Guy. It’s not a Cow & Chicken segment without him, is it? 

I had a better screenshot of his appearance, but it came out weird and I don’t feel like taking another, so let’s skip to this part where Chicken is caught cheating the scale, and is about to be rightfully punished along with Flem and Earl. Not by death, but by filling up the Red Guy’s furnace, which is actually pretty fair.

But have no fear, Supercow is on the way to come save the day! This comic even translates her dialogue for us, which the show never did. 

It ends with her beating the shit out of Cerberus and the Red Guy, even though Chicken deserves his punishment. Flem and Earl, not so much.

It’s a fun enough story, and it does seem like a perfect fit for the show. The dialogue fits right in with the show.

Even Flem’s awkward, vaguely racist broken English. I’m not touching that one...

The art style is a little off, though, looking more like a regular DC comic than an episode of Cow & Chicken.

I mean, it looks like Chicken, but doesn’t the penciling look closer to an issue of Robin at the time instead of something? But it’s a minor complaint, as it’s still a fun read.

The b story is new to me, with a Quick Draw McGraw story. It starts off pretty ordinary, as El Kabong OLE’s himself to save the day. Er, not that ordinary, as El Kabong is a bit of a klutz and usually needs Baba Looey’s help, but it’s okay, something’s about to change.

It turns out that El Kabong’s identity may be liable for copyright infringement, as there’s a Canadian crime fighter known as Le Kabong.

We meet him here, and I believe he’s meant to be Loopy de Loop, but he looks more like Hokey Wolf... or maybe Mr. Jinx. Hanna-Barbeta made some nice-looking characters, but they get pretty samey.

Anyway, his agency was the one who ordered a cease and desist to El Kabong, while his French Canadian doppelganger refuses to follow suit, considering it unheroic. Until it’s discovered that someone kidnapped the local hockey team, and he takes action... so I guess he blames the devil we know? That isn’t really explained, as the next panel shows Quick Straw accepting a battle of the Kabongs.

So we’re about to get a WWE (or I guess WWF. Or maybe WCW?) match, until a new challenger approaches, with a German vigilante jumping in.

And then many more. This switches from wrestling to Super Smash Bros to a full on battle royale of the localized knock-offs. Which I won’t lie, it’s a pretty funny idea.

Luckily, what’s a Kabong without a trusty sidekick to save the day? A few of them attempt to team up to find a way to put a stop to this, including one who looks like Boo Boo with Yogi’s hat and Johnny Bravo’s glasses.

So it ends with the Kabong from Mars (no Spiders) threatening all of the puny humans to stop their shenanigans, and go back to their duties. Which hey, it works! And the story ends with Quick Draw attempting to turn the ten million pesos El Kabong received at the beginning from saving the day into cash. Except pesos are basically useless, which is funny haha right?

This reads like a Hanna-Barbera writer from the 90′s attempting to write a classic character in the present day, and mostly works alright. This does show off one problem with Quick Draw though, that its take on Hispanic culture during the period of the Wild West is problematic. Baba Looey for instance has an exaggerated voice, and he probably needs an overhaul to work today (how did that work in Jellystone btw? I still need to see it). And unfortunately, this point in the late 90′s isn’t all that much more sympathetic to Hispanic culture, as their take mostly stays the same.

But away from that, it’s pretty funny. I do really like Quick Draw when it focuses on how pathetic he is as a supposed hero, either with or without the El Kabong persona.

But I wouldn’t have known if this was in if I didn’t pick up the book. I do understand why Cow & Chicken was the main attraction- *insert Malcolm in the Middle “future is now, old man” img here*- but part of the appeal of Cartoon Network at the time was the mix of old and new school. It wasn’t uncommon to see a classic like Quick Draw next to a modern fav like Cow & Chicken.

But oh well, let’s finish this up. The letters column features a 12 year old offering some of his cartoon ideas- I hope John made it; another boy named John who offers a cute drawing of Space Ghost, and asks about Jan, Jase, and Blip, while insulting the latter, which the editor is not here for; and another boy asking if there are plans for stories featuring 2 Stupid Dogs or Secret Squirrel, as well as hopes for a Cow & Chicken comic. The editor shoots down 2 Stupid Dogs happening, and to be fair, I don’t believe that ever happens. Classic cartoons from 40 years earlier? Sure. Something that ended about five years earlier? Old news. But I do believe Secret Squirrel does show up at some point.

The editor then bemoans how no girls brought in letters this month, and offers a preview of the next issue, which involves Wacky Races. And guess what, I have that one too!

The issue proper ends with an editorial about the importance of recycling, which is fine and all, but my reaction to reading this was “blahblahblah put on more cartoons”

Not bad! Oh, and one more thing of note.

I know, I know, they’re the enemy, and I was all over CN at this point, but I have memories of this promotion. Even though I believe it was long over at this point, and Alex Mack should have aired its last episodes before this issue hit stands. 

Here’s an ad! And now it’s in your head. Sorry/you’re welcome!

[myupostsheadcanons]

Books “Read” in 2020

Previous entries: 2019, 2018, 2017

I don’t rank these based on actual literary quality, but by how much i enjoyed reading/listening to them. Hopefully with Audible’s new “Premium Included” feature it would cut down on so many Average/Below Average books next year, it’ll give me more of a choice on what kind of books/podcasts i want to listen to rather than given a handful to pick from a month.

The “Top 10″

Forging Hephaestus / Bones of the Past: Villains' Code Series - Drew Hayes has became one of my fav authors over the past couple years, from his Vampire Accountant series, 5-min Sherlock, and his Spells, Swords, and Stealth books. FH is one of the few times he wrote Adult Fiction. This is the second time Drew created a world of super heroes (the YA Superpowereds), thus previous experience in dealing with the nuisances and meta of super meta dynamics. I love the main character, Tori, and especially love many of the side characters (like Ivan) and the comedy is the right tone of dark and not-in-your-face (not quite as well -written as something like The Venture Bros or The Tick, but being adult fiction you can get away with having characters named Johnny Three-Dicks and Captain Bullshit)

Dreadnought / Sovereign - the second super hero series I’ve placed on my top list this year, this one is Young Adult. This one is far more serious and deals heavily in issues like trans and women’s rights, mental abuse, and social acceptance. The main character is full of angst, but that should be a given for a 15 yo with lots of mental baggage and new social pressures. The main character is the main draw, most of the side characters are a bit more one-dimensional.

The Trouble with Peace: Age of Madness, Book 2. It isn’t a “First Law” book if you don’t want to strangle half of the main characters. Many are stepping outside of the shadow of the previous generation and finding themselves falling flat on their faces. If they aren’t at each other’s throats, they would soon have to deal with rebellion in the streets and the constant looming presence of Bayaz, who waits to sweep the board clear and rearrange the pieces the way he sees fit.

Michael J. Sullivan’s: The Riyria and Legend of the First Empire Books.

Riyria Revelations: Theft of Swords / Rise of Empire / Heir of Novron

Riyria Chronicles: The Crown Tower / The Rose and Thorn / The Death of Dulgath

Age of Death / Age of Empyre, Pile of Bones

After finishing the Legend of the First Empire books that came out earlier this year, I went ahead and read the prior series that takes place in the same world. I would suggest reading the entire series by Publish order, but they can be read Chronologically. I read the Legends books first, and it helped me see where Sullivan was heading and when he started to plan out the Legends books in more detail. (The early cameo of the Main characters from Legends in a mural in Heir of Novron, and knowing who is behind the events in Dulgath)

The Dresden Files: Peace Talks / Battle Grounds - They really should be read as one book, because that was how they were written. It is a Feast of Crows / Dances with Dragons situation, where the book got too long and got split up. The fans are pretty divided by the book(s) ending and how some of the main characters are handled, but these are Jim Butcher’s characters not theirs and he can drop bridges on whom ever he wants.

What Lies Beyond: Cycle of Galand, Book 6 - This is a “mythology” book (like Sullivan’s Age of Death was) where it introduces most of the Pantheon of their religion and corrects much of the mythology that had been lost over the decades. They seek a weapon to vanquish the Litch and save their world and the afterlife from oblivion, but not all of their Gods are happy about it.

Will Destroy the Galaxy for Cash - Yahtzee (Zero Punctuation!) has to be one of my favorite internet personalities for the past 10+ years, and I eat up every book he puts out and because he wrote the books, and is an actor himself, he could deliver the lines as they are intended to be. The sequel to Will Save the Galaxy for Food does not disappoint and even ups the stakes from the previous book.

The Girl Who Drank the Moon - This has to be one of the most charming books I’ve read. It is magic and wonder at it’s finest, no need for long explanations on how the world works. If you like Ghibli movies, you’ll be interested in this book. It has its dark moments but isn’t outside of what you’ll find in something like Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, and Nausicca.

The Goblin Emperor - the youngest son of the Elf King finds himself emperor after the death of his father and brothers in an assassination. The only problem is, that he is only half-elf... his late mother was a Goblin, and he had been in exile as an embarrassment to the family for most of his life. He knows nothing of how the courts work and what’s left of his own family work against him just for being who he is.

Lost Gods: Brom - I liked this book more than I did American Gods (which I read a few years ago). It is darker and bleaker by the bucket loads. One of the few books with a downer ending that I actually liked. I would compare this book to books like All the Pretty Horses and No Country for Old Men-- but it is a Fantasy!

Above Average.

Siege Tactics (Spells, Swords, & Stealth. Book 4)  - What happens to adventurers after they retire? A fun concept that is explored with our party of NPCs running across a town full of epic-level characters that no longer have a player.

The Arthurian Saga - The Crystal Cave / The Hollow Hills  / The Last Enchantment / The Wicked Day - A more realistic version of the Arthurian tales, taking the POV of Merlin, bastard son of a princess, as he earns notoriety as a scholar and wizard.  The Wicked Day takes the POV of Mordred, making him far more sympathetic than other iterations of his character.

Arc of a Scythe - Scythe / Thunderhead / The Toll - Science and Technology eliminates death and in order to prevent over population and complacency an order of grim reapers are chosen to randomly deal out quotas of permanent deaths. An example of what happens when every need and want is satisfied by a higher force and the apathy that causes rot in human society and the superiority complex of those in charge of life and death.

The Diviners / Lair of Dreams / Before the Devil Breaks You / The King of Crows - Horror during the Roaring 20′s. Tackles issues as Racism, Poverty, Government Secrecy, Christian-Evangelical Cults, Nationalism Cult Mentality, Communism, Labor Unions, Eugenics, Post-WW1 trauma... It could almost pass as an adult fiction book. I wouldn’t recommend giving it to someone under High school age.

Ancillary Justice / Ancillary Sword / Ancillary Mercy - Artificial Intelligence takes over human bodies as a form of capital punishment, controlling ships and space stations. The dominate human empire outgrew the need to label any gender, using “she” to refer to everyone rather than the vaguer “them/they” pronouns, and only outlying colonies stick to the binary ideals. Think of “The Left Hand of Darkness” but on a more broader scale and as the default majority/ruling empire. Toss in a solid military action novel on top and it isn’t nearly as boring as Left Hand.

Children of Time / Children of Ruin - War destroys the human population of Earth and those that remain are the ones that headed out to the stars on tera-forming missions. A virus created to advance life forms to prepare a world for human habitation runs amuck with out its overseers, creating intelligent arachnids, crustaceans, and squid.

The Licanius Trilogy - The Shadow of What Was Lost / An Echo of Things to Come / The Light of all that Falls -  It is very heavy on info overload, there is a lot to keep track of, so much so there is a summary of book one and two at the start of the third. I like the twist at the end of the first book and that the villain is actually trying to help save the world, and you spend most of the second stuck between who thinks they are doing the right thing and who is actually doing the right thing - a lot to talk about doing the lesser of two evils.

Mythos - Steven Fry - A humorous retelling of Greek mythology. I read Mythology - by Edith Hamilton prior to this book, which is a more scholarly take on the myths, and helps if you are unfamiliar with classical mythology prior to reading Fry’s take on it.

Iron, Fire and Ice: The Real History That Inspired Game of Thrones - a nice history book about Iron Age royalty. It is actually refreshing to read after going through so much faux fiction that is in Philippa Gregory’s books.

Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? - Children ask questions to a Mortician about death and what happens to bodies after people die. I listened to her autobiography last year/year before and it is worth picking up this one along with it.

Average, but still good.

Jack Campbell’s Lost Fleet Universe: Triumphant (Genesis Fleet, Book 3) / Tarnished Knight: Lost Stars, book 1 - The realistic space battles just drag me back in each and every time.

The Case of the Damaged Detective: 5-Minute Sherlock - Drew Hayes can’t write a boring book. It isn’t quite on point as his other series, but still fun to read. Hayes is really good at making YA books with Adult Protagonists. It is a road-trip book, the main character is a washed-out operative that is getting his second chance playing bodyguard and future assistant to the 5-minute Sherlock.

Locked In / Head On - Do you remember “Surrogates”? that Bruce Willis movie where people walk around in robotic avatars, well... it’s almost the same thing. A virus kills millions, save for a select few that experience “lock in” syndrome and are able to connect to robots via their brains and the internet.  The main character is gender neutral and you get a choice to listen to the book with a male or female reader.

Murder by Other Means: The Dispatcher Book 2 - more John Scalzi! The first book was in my top list a few years ago, and i enjoyed the sequel just as much. Between Scalzi’s The Dispatcher and Locked In series, i like the Dispatcher more.

The Shattered Sea Trilogy: Half a King / Half the World / Half a War - Joe Abercrombie’s attempt to make Young Adult books. It keeps all the grim dark, but lacks all the swearing and humor that made The First Law books more enjoyable. Many of Joe’s favorite character tropes are still present and is one of the better “Fall to Darkness” stories I’ve read. It also has different POV characters each book and is one of those “faux fantasy” settings.

Mage Errant: Books 1, 2 & A Traitor in Skyhold: Book 3 - If you are wanting to get away from Harry Potter, pick up this book series. It takes place in magic school, but it is its own world and setting and not just a hidden world within our own. The main group of kids are misfits among the school, unable to master their powers, that get taken up by the badass librarian to be trained in more unconventional ways.

Dawn of Wonder: The Wakening Book 1 - the main character has ptsd from growing up in an abusive household, and i thought it was handled rather well. He would be rather competent and cleaver most of the time until he gets triggered into an episode, he fights really hard to overcome this short-falling of his. Standard classic affair else wise, family leaves home because the local authority figure doesn’t want them around anymore, goes to big city, kid wants to do good and avenge the deaths he was accused of, joins the badass school of hard knocks...  big powerful evil thing trying to consume the world.

The Rage of Dragons - It shares a lot of tropes and story points with Red Rising... just in a fantasy setting, not in space. If you are wanting fantasy with POC main characters and a non-European-centric culture, that doesn’t pull any punches, give it a shot.

Earthsea - Tehanu and Tales from Earthsea - I had read the first three books several years back, and i did re-read them in order to refresh myself prior to reading the final two.

The Secret Garden - I absolutely loved the movie from the 90′s as a kid, and finally got around to listening to the book.

Six of Crows - A heist book in fantasy world with the magic users being heavily “Jewish / Slavic” coded by how they are treated and persecuted. I might have thought more favorably about the book if i hadn’t read other books with “street rat slum” main characters. (Seriously, after spending six books with Royce in Riyria someone like Kas is just second bananas)

Unconventional Heroes / Two Necromancers - Comedic Fantasy, the humor’s not on par with say MogWorld, and has more jokes than Fred The Vampire Accountant. It is still a parody of villains and heroes in fantasy worlds. I would find it safe for a 12/13yo to read, cursing and all, though they might not be aware of many of the tropes that are being deconstructed. The reader of the book did better in this one then he did with Six of Crows and Beezer, still the audio needed some editing because it repeats itself a few times.

Once More Upon A Time (Free Audio Book)  - I don’t always care to read romance stories. I like the idea behind it however, to trade their love for each other in order to save their partner’s life, then learn to re-love one another again.

Monster Hunter International - If you think Dresden is too liberal, this takes a hard turn to the right.. replace the magic with GUNS, lots and lots of GUNS. An organization that hates the government but hunts monsters for government bounties. The main cast is multi-ethnic and they do make fun of that at one point. There isn’t a lot of thought into the plot, because action is #1, but it is fun enough to ignore the politicking.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Collection - i bitched about there not being an omnibus last year, and then Audible uploaded one. The ending is still one big clusterfuck.

Stephen King’s Insomnia - this book is the bridge between Steven King’s two universes. It is a sequel to IT and brings up the Darktower often. IT dealt mainly with childhood fears, Insomnia deals with Elderly and feminine fears.

D’Arc / Culdesac: War with No Name - I liked D’Arc more than i did Mort-e, and Culdesac is more on track with Mort-e. The virus that mutated the ants and animals reminded me of the virus from Children of Time/Ruin, even though i read Mort-e first, reading D’Arc after CoT let me notice it.

Michael McDowell’s:  The Amulet / The Elementals / Gilded Needles / Blackwater - From the guy that wrote the screenplay of Beetlejuice, and the pioneer of the Southern Gothic Horror. Gilded Needles is a bit out of place, taking place in 1890′s, and is more of a social horror rather than a super natural horror the other books are.

Gardens of the Moon: The Malazan Book of the Fallen, Book 1 - high fantasy dark fiction. if you really want some CHONKY door stoppers, there’s over 10 of them in this series. Could’ve done less with the manipulative bastard mage that speaks in 3rd person. I had read The Willful Child, an attempted comedy science fiction novel by the same author, and it showed that the author was unfamiliar with that kind of genera and should stick to grim fantasy.

The Knife’s Edge / Citadel of Fire: The Ronin Saga - This is one of those series that I’m always going “oh, that reminds me of [insert another better series]”  At times it reminded me of The Licanius Trilogy, Shades of Magic, Arc of Scythe, Riyria, Korra... It is just shy of being as good as them, and is rather firmly in that Sci-Fi Fantasy Ghetto and has a bit of “anime” feel to it with their magic users having ‘power levels’ and the power creep. 

In Calabria - My only problem with the book is the massive age-gap between the Main character and his love interest. Outside of that, the whole Unicorns in the modern world concept is done very well.

Pout Neuf (Audible Free Book)  - Journalism and romance during WW2. A quick read and the book really shows that research had been done about the setting and time period.

Nut Jobs: Cracking California's Strangest $10 Million Dollar Heist: An Audible Original - Not only does it talk about the heist, it actually touches on the subject of migrant farmers and slave labor, as well as the desertification of the California Valley.

The Science of Sci-Fi: From Warp Speed to Interstellar Travel (Free Audio Book) - a neat little informative podcast if you are looking for an introduction to some of the harder science fiction.

Mythology - by Edith Hamilton - Text book about Greek Mythology. Like “used in schools” text book. It is a good read if you don’t want to go through Ovid, Virgil, Homer, and all the other classical writers on your own.

The Space Race: An Audible Original - America didn’t win the Space Race. Russia did just about everything first. The only thing we did first was put people on the moon. It also goes into detail about how the inventor of the Nazi’s V2 rockets became employed with the US Space program. As well as the government’s announcement to let space travel become privatized.

Pale Blue Dot / Cosmos: A Personal Voyage - It’s Carl Sagan. Come on! Everyone should be reading them. Pale Blue Dot was being turned into an Audiobook in the 90′s but with Sagan’s death, only the first few chapters were read by him and his partner reads the rest of it (she does a decent job, and i understand why they wanted her to read it, it should’ve been done similarly to Cosmos, with guest readers doing each chapter)

Thicker Than Water (Free Audio Book)  - start up pharmaceutical company scams people out of millions with promises of a miracle machine that was ahead of its time. Story told from the whistleblower himself as he recounts what his job was within the company and how he knew the owner/founder of the company and how coming out about what was going on ruined his relationship with his family and friends.

Don't Panic: Douglas Adams and the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - biography on Douglas Adams and the history behind the creative process behind the Hitchhiker’s Guide series.

The Genius of Birds - It reminded me a lot of “The Soul of an Octopus” in quality. It is rather informative about birds, how they behave, and how we judge intelligence in non-human animals.

It’s “ok.”

Les Miserabes - I can see why people favor movies and theater versions because of how dense the book is, getting the cliff notes version of the book instead of reading several chapters about the Battle of Waterloo. 

Viva Durant and the Secret of the Silver Buttons (Audible Free Book) - It’s cute, and I spent the next several weeks humming that freaking song.

Challenger Deep - A book about mental illness by the same person that brought us The Arc of a Scythe series. It isn’t a bad read, but if you are prone to get panic attacks and have mental illness yourself, you might get too into it and make you uneasy. It can help with neurotypical people with understanding how some illnesses work.

Into the Wilds (Warriors, Book 1)  - Ah, the cat book. It is prob because there are soooo many books in this series that it over-saturates the kids impressionable minds.

House of Teeth (Audible Free Book)  - I read this book prior to Monster Hunter International, and thinking back on this one, i am reminded about the other. Save for this one is PG. So... the kid friendly version.

The Martian Chronicles - Space Horror, on Mars. If you like old science fiction, like Classic Trek, Wells, or Forbidden Planet stuff. There is a lot of zerust.

Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection - The third superhero series I’ve read this past year. It is not as ground breaking nor subversive as Villain’s Code or Dreadnought. The humor is a bit too forced and parts of it falls into “we can be more offensive because it is an adult book” category.

Interview with the Robot - Don’t really care for books or programs that are set up in the “interview” format where it is two people talking to one another. (I have no fucking idea how this book got top Kids book of the year on Audible, it is more of a YA book... it must been because it was Free and lots of people picked it because the rest of the choices that month were complete garbage)

Micromegas - perhaps one of the oldest examples of Speculative Science Fiction. Written by Voltaire, it is about a giant from another solar system that is so big that humans and life on Earth are microscopic. “what value are the lives of ants to a man?”

The Three Musketeers - i had forgotten how much espionage there was in this book. I would say this is a good companion book to Don Quixote, as it takes its fair share of inspiration from and even name-drops the character a couple times. 

Charles Dickens: Oliver Twist / David Copperfield / A Tale of Two Cities - DC is the standout IMO among the three, it is Dickens’ Magnum Opus. Les Mis did a far better job with the Revolution than Tale did as well. I felt rather obligated to reading these books because of the subplot in the Age of Madness books being about Poverty during the Industrial Revolution and Workers Revolts against the Ruling Class.

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea - the version i listened too made most of the Americans sound like GWB... which is funny because one of them is Canadian, and the Comic Relief character about how boorish Americans are.

Stuck (Free Audio Book) -  it is a neat idea, getting jarred free of time but everybody else isn’t and doesn’t remember. It gets a little heavy for a kids book near the end, edging into YA territory as the character gets older mentally and the people around him age physically.

Phreaks (Free Audio Book) - i knew a lot about Captain Crunch and other phone hackers of the 60′s. There is a subplot of the big radioactive corporation covering up causing cancer to their workers, and the father (voiced by Christian Slater) being in the closet but still homophobic about it.

Silverswift (Free Audio Book) - If you like fairy tales set in modern times, it is worth a look. It is similar to In Calabira in that way. The mom being the nonbeliever and thinking grandma is off her rocker, but the granddaughter knows it in her bones that grandma is telling the truth.

Sleeping Giants - alien mechs from the distant past, once mistaken as the titans and gods form mythology, now being studied and experimented on by the government. This is another “interview style” story telling.

Celtic Mythology: Tales of Gods, Goddesses, and Heroes - there is a lot of names and stories, it is worth prob getting a physical copy of the book to keep things straight and to use as a reference.

How to Defeat a Demon King in Ten Easy Steps - A love letter to The Legend of Zelda’s Ocarina of Time and other RPG games.

Casino Royal: James Bond - the movie was rather faithful, including the part of being tied to a chair. I do wish they kept more of the book’s ending where Bond was ready to retire prior to his secret-spy love interest gets killed.

Aliens: Bug Hunt - a compilation of Alien stores about people landing on various planets and encountering aliens, not always the Xenomorphs we know, but the term “Bug” came synonymous to any dangerous alien lifeforms encountered.

Macbeth: A Novel - retelling the story of Macbeth but in a novel form. If you can’t get past the language of the original play, this would help. It sets it more firmly in historical fiction.

Hannibal: A Novel -  I went ahead and re watched the tv show after finishing the book. I’ve seen the movie a dozen times, and i understand why they changed the ending to the movie. The book is the main one that characterizes Hannibal and the show uses a lot of the plot. Hannibal Rising wasn’t really needed because Hannibal (in this book) does think/talk about what happened to his sister and home, and i can see why Harris didn’t want to write that book either. The audiobook is rather poor quality, they talked too fast in places and i don’t really care for their acting...

The Power of Six - I read I am Number 4 several years back and this one popped up on sale so i nabbed it. I like Neil Kaplan, and i think this one is better than the first one and actually gets into the meat of the story.

Cut and Run: A Light-Hearted Dark Comedy - body parts harvesting.... mmmm.

Calypso - non-Fiction, biography of the author. Talks about his family, his life with his partner, and what he does. Much of it is charming and it is read by the author. this was prior to him loosing his marbles about retail workers and becoming a karen.

Our Harlem: Seven Days of Cooking, Music and Soul at the Red Rooster - the history of Harlem and the Harlem Renaissance. I didn’t mind this podcast so much because i was reading The Diviners during the same time.

Malcolm and Me - another biographical book. one of the free books i got during Feb’ Black History Month.

History of Bourbon (Free Audio Book) - Informative about the liqueur industry in America.

Junkyard Cats: Shining Smith Book 1 - post apocalyptic action science fiction novel. the moment that guy showed up i was “that’s your bf.” and it was so... the plot wasn’t hard to figure out, it’s all about the action and setting.

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress - One of the better Heinlein books. The man can’t write romance and he is rather big on casual polygamy and open marriages. An anarchist-revolution book written by someone that is more on the Libertarian side of the aisle. Mycroft (the computer) comes off as rather antiquated, an AI that runs on a closed server, communicating through the telephone lines and printed paper, makes me wonder what Heinlein would’ve done if he was told about the internet and Deep Fake tech. (the book takes place in like 2075, but written in 1966)

Caffeine: How Caffeine Created the Modern World - the production of coffee and it’s prevalence around the world.

The Life and Times of Prince Albert - Exactly what it says on the can. *rimshot*

The Real Sherlock: An Audible Original - a biography of Sir. Arthur Conan Doyle.

The Design of Everyday Things - using psychology to improve the design of systems, products, and the modern business model.  It gives proper terminology for several common design features and how to improve on existing structures.

Bottom of the Barrel.

The Pagan World: Ancient Religions before Christianity. I was hoping there would have been something in there about European Religions, there isn’t, and the book was mostly Greek and Roman life styles and how gods are worshiped. It let me know where the word “auger” came from and why it was used in the Licanius Trilogy.

Life Ever After - disjointed at best. a couple that aren’t good for each other spend the next several hundred years in a crappy relationship.

Beyond Strange Lands: An Audible Original - The audio was complete crap on half of the voices. Which is bad because this could’ve been better. It is a Pod Cast Show and the director couldn’t make sure everybody had decent recording equipment and the sound effects often drown out the actors.

Henrietta & Eleanor: A Retelling of Jekyll and Hyde: An Audible Original Drama - They were going for a modern telling, but the language used is archaic. They speak like Dickens characters even though they talk about cellphones and computers.

A Crazy Inheritance: The Ghostsitter book 1 - The concept is there, but it is too nerfed. It was made for the 8-12yo crowd in mind by people that don’t know how to write for children.

Tell Me Lies (Free Audio Book) - It really wants to be smart. Who’s playing who and who is the actual villain of this story? If you want a quick “who done it?” maybe look into it.

Evil Eye (Free on Audible Plus) - told through phone calls between a mother and daughter. The whole genera of evil boyfriends/husbands isn’t really my cup of tea, and the boyfriend’s actor was too fake and the set up to the meat of the story was annoying.

The Half-life of Marie Curie - I didn’t mind learning stuff about Marie Curie... falls squarely in “made for TV lifetime movie” quality though. You should not carry around a vile of uranium where ever you go.

Alone with the Stars - A girl in Florida hears the call for help from Amelia Earhart, but nobody listens to her. Part fiction, part biographical. It would’ve been better as a biography and talking about various conspiracy theories about what happened to her and finding the pieces of the airplane.

Beezer - The son of the Devil learning to become a good person with a found family... however, most of the characters are annoying.

The Year of Magical Thinking (Free Audio Book) - very heavy on the subjects about loss and death.

Complete Garbage.

The Getaway (Free Audio Book) - A man being a POS by stalking and abducting women. It broadcasts just about everything that is going to happen.

Agent 355 (Free Audio Book)  - Do you like “American Mythology?” Like the whole “the founders are the greatest people in the world” kind of vibe? I don’t. I also hate the main character for being one of those “i’m smart, because i read books that women aren’t supposed to” girls when she doesn’t really think for herself at all.

[angryqueercrypted]

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Last song I listened to: Tank - SEATBELTS

Fav musicians/bands: All of them. The Wonder Years, Against Me!, Patsy Cline, The Bloody Beetroots, Kid Cudi. Uh..... Tyler The Creator, Ramones, Yeah Yeah Yeah, My Chemical Romance, The Amity Affliction, Catch 22, SZA, X-Ray Spex, Iorn Maiden, Tigar Army, Dolly Parton, Johnny Hobo and The Freight Trains, Selina, Pat the Bunny I dont know... a lot more...

Last film I watched: Godzilla (1998)

Last tv show I watched: Space Force

Fav original characte: All of them ~_~ Uh Riley and Benny are my mf BOYS they started out different and Riley was originally named Nico but idk it didnt feel right... anyways they where supposed to be a couple of freshmen in high school but then the apocalypse happend and they turned into a gang of kids.... like that one Netflix show but my idea was ten years ago.... now tho they're in a desert college town with their friends Xavier (I love him) Carrie and Elaine and they fight the supernatural! Oh man I had the GREATEST idea about how Benny and Carrie met it.... Benny was in love the minute he saw Carrie swing a baseball bat at a zombie in her puffy princess peach costume. Its originally planned out as a comic but I dont know how to write or draw lol so its probably only gonna live in my head

Sweet, spicy, or savory: All three

Sparkling water, tea, or coffee: Tea

Pets: My blind ass chihuahua Richard "Richie" Laurence he is my sweet baby boy and also the worst old man in existence

I wont tag anybody but if you see this and want to do it PLEASE TAG ME I'd love to see it

[qvestchen]

Juice Cartons // Jaeyong NCT : Chapter Eight

Summary: Taeyong has never been jealous of anyone but lately, he can’t seem to get rid of the nagging spike of jealousy he feels whenever Jaehyun spends time with someone else. And as he often reminds himself, it’s not even as if they are dating. But maybe, just maybe, Taeyong could change that.

Author: qvestchen

Status: Completed

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.

Juice Cartons // Jaeyong NCT

Chapter 8: Several phone games later

When Taeil had taken out the managers for dinner right after reaching the hotel, Taeyong had been too tired to even see the amount of winking and nudging that was going on between the members of “Jaeyong Drama Resolution” club. When Winwin suddenly started sneezing and begged Taeyong to get him some meds for his allergies, he had wanted to say that he had no idea about the shops here and seeing that Yuta was the local here, shouldn’t he…but looking at Winwin who was in what appeared to be huge discomfort and a worried Yuta clinging to his arm, Taeyong decided to go buy the meds without even having set foot in his hotel room.

It was when he returned and was told through the door that Winwin was asleep and Yuta wasn’t opening the door because there are ghosts around, hyung, that Taeyong started to wonder if his members were going crazy and whether he had been the victim of a prank. He was on his way to getting well and truly upset when he knocked on his own hotel room only to be informed by Doyoung and Johnny that they had locked themselves in and wouldn’t open because there are ghosts, huge horrifying ghosts in the corridor and maybe this one just sounds like Taeyong?

“You little shits, where am I supposed to stay?” Taeyong banged the door again.

“Just go to Taeil’s room,” Johnny had suggested.

This was how Taeyong found himself in the present room, except the bathrobe-clad figure in front of him was definitely not Taeil. It now dawned on him what the other members had planned and how easily he had been tricked.

Rubbing the back of his head that he had banged against the door when he had jumped back on seeing Jaehyun in the room, he ignored the way Jaehyun had looked up at the noise, towel still on his head and let out an, “Oh.”

Before Jaehyun could add anything to that oh Taeyong fished out his earphones and plugged them in, choosing to not indulge in an awkward conversation with this guy who obviously didn’t like him. He could imagine how the conversation would go. Jaehyun would coldly enquire what Taeyong was doing in his room. What would he reply to that? If he told him that he had been tricked by the other members would Jaehyun laugh at him? Worse still would Jaehyun believe him? What if he thought Taeyong was just using the opportunity to get close to him after the fight?

No, it was better to not have any conversation. It was just a matter of one night. He could handle that. Several phone games later, his phone’s battery was dying and he was forced to sneak a look at Jae.

Jaehyun was lying as far away from him as was possible on the double bed, his face lit up in the dark by the light from his phonescreen. He was texting someone, his expression changing from a frown to a slight smile as he typed back quickly and frequently.

Taeyong felt so far away from him and when he remembered just how close they used to be, sticking to each other’s side as Jaehyun would read aloud to him from whatever latest book he had picked up from the airport bookstands while he would complain that the narration was disturbing his game.

Who was he talking to? He felt disappointed at himself the second the thought floated in his mind. He switched off his phone and turned away, closing his eyes.

A very selfish part of him wished he had never met Jaehyun, wished he didn’t have a million confusing feelings for him, wished he didn’t look so soft and beautiful, wished he didn’t miss his loud laughter, wished he could be unbothered and smiling at his phone screen instead of playing farm games but mostly he wished Jae would say something, just anything.

It had all started because of that juice carton, to be honest. He should have just bolted then like his hammering heart had told him to.

Taeyong hummed to the song he was practising to as he reached for a juice box on the refreshments table, his hand colliding with someone else’s.

He immediately drew back, apologising, only to see the other person apologetically drawing back too. He had no idea who the other person was. Dark hair flopping over his forehead, ears slightly red, a hint of a dimple. He had never seen him here before but then he didn’t know a lot of people. He wasn’t really any good at the whole being social thing. He held out the juice box to the guy. “Here you go.”

The other boy seemed to be struggling with words but he shook his head slightly as he raised a hand. “No, it’s fine. You can have it. I’ll take one of the others.”

Taeyong looked in the direction he was pointing and inwardly cringed at the line of grape juice boxes. “This is the last mixed fruit one. The others are all grape-flavoured and those taste horrible.” He didn’t know why he couldn’t shut up, why he wanted to make this other boy as comfortable as he could, why his heart was beating so fast, why a part of him wanted to run away and why he knew he couldn’t. “You can have this one, it’s okay.”

“No, you have it. I mean, I can have the grape one.”

Turned out the very grape juice ones he disliked so much were his favourite.

And suddenly, Taeyong was drawing out the conversation, telling this newbie his name.

The newbie had a name. Jung Yoonoh. Taeyong nearly choked on his juice when Yoonoh caught him staring at him. He could feel his cheeks aflame. He nervously said, “Well, I guess, I’ll see you around, Yoonoh.”

He couldn’t practice at all that day. His mind was still on the boy he had met. He wanted to know him more. He considered going back to the refreshments table only to shake his head and remind himself that he was losing it if he started to behave this way. Most probably Yoonoh wouldn’t even remember him when they next met, if they next met.

Soon, Yoonoh began to be more familiar as Jaehyun. Jaehyun, Taeyong liked the name. Jaehyun was friendly, well-mannered and likeable. Very soon, the trainees were all friends with him and Taeyong was so scared of being just the ‘juice carton boy’ to him but maybe somewhere some magic existed because they continued to find themselves in each other’s presence. Jaehyun calmed him when he was nervous, took him for dinner to what quickly became their favourite restaurant when Tae forgot to eat, told him silly jokes and sang cheesy songs to him. Taeyong fell in love so fast, he didn’t even realize until there was no going back.

He must not have been asleep for more than a few minutes because he awoke to Jaehyun whispering into his phone in the dark. “Ten, stop sending me loud voice messages. I can’t find my earphones in the dark and Taeyong just fell asleep….No, shut up, pervert. He must be exhausted. Okay, I am hanging up. You’ll wake him otherwise and he won’t be able to go back to sleep easily….Go bug Johnny or Kun.”

Taeyong held his breath as Jaehyun locked his phone and the room was submerged into absolute darkness with only a sliver of light escaping from the bathroom door. So, Jaehyun had been messaging Ten. A tear ran down his cheek and he blinked in surprise.

Jaehyun pulled the covers towards his side of the bed as he stretched his body, yawning with sleep, leaving most of Taeyong’s body outside the covers. For a whole minute, there was no movement and then, Jaehyun got up with a small sigh, pulling the covers over Taeyong.

Taeyong went stiff at the gesture, listening to Jaehyun mutter how it was too small for the bed. Jaehyun shifted closer and finally, pulled the covers over his head and drifted off to sleep.

Taeyong lay unmoving in his position, acutely aware of Jaehyun’s body heat, wanting so much to reach to him but he didn’t even turn around and sometime in the night, he too fell asleep.

When he woke up, it was early morning and he was annoyed at himself for waking up before the alarm. He tried to change his position, his arm numb and heavy, only to realize that a sleeping Jaehyun was propped against his arm. His eyes widened when he realized that his arm was nearly holding on to Jaehyun. He removed his arm quickly, pushing Jaehyun away in the process.

Jaehyun murmured sleepily, “Go to sleep, Taeyongie,” before snuggling closer to him.

Taeyong sighed, looking at the ceiling. He got up slowly, trying not to wake up the sleeping boy and quietly, went out onto the balcony. He sat on the cold chair and began to write bits and pieces of words until lines of lyrics began to emerge on the back of the magazine he was scribbling on.

He read them again and sat back in his chair, smiling ruefully, before tearing out the page and crumpling it. He sounded like a lovesick idiot but then, he admitted to himself, that was exactly what he was.

Next chapter: Coming soon! + OMG guys we never know if anyone’s reading and enjoying this story so please comment you fav parts or anything you’d like to see in particular for this story and don’t forget to give a follow so that you don’t miss an update! Lots of love and happy jaeyong vibes ~~

Juice Cartons: Home, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.

[nctmaginesmut]

Silk Robe (Johnny!!!)

My fav anons requested:

 - Hiiiii! Could you possibly do a Johnny smut??? Like idc what it's about as long as he is dominant af because have you met him? Tysm in advance!  - Can you please make one for johnny.  - Could you please do a Johnny smut but something that has to do with Trey Songz- Love Faces lol please and thank you

- Can we get some lovely Johnny smut to celebrate his debut?^^

author: ADMIN NI, MAN

genre: smut

word count: 1,953

a/n: HIIIIIIIIII. It’s been forever, guys... Thank you guys for requesting so much of my bias, my baby, my Johnny... there’s still so much more I get to do for him!!! I hope y’all like it(;;;;;;;;;;;; seriously love you all so much, you request such good stuff.  btw I didn't proof read so there is bound to be some errors

The loud music dances pounds through your skull -- feeling it mixing and boiling with the alcohol like the blood pulsing through your veins. Your body twists and twirls, hitting every beat that goes around. The colorful lights fill your blurry vision. Feeling -  dancing against - the sweaty bodies around you, each moving to their own demise. The air is hot and heavy with the comforting stench of alcohol. A guy comes onto you, his hands slide up your sides, a little too far behind than you prefer. You giggle and wave your finger to say ‘no,’ but he laughs himself and pulls your body closer to his own, grinding slowly against you. You begin to protest, slurring for him to please, stop.   

 Deep in the dancing crowd, music too loud for someone to hear you. A strong hand is then wrapped on your wrist, feel yourself being pulled out of the groapers arms. Short spin later, your arms are resting over a man's shoulders, wrapping them around, your fingers land in his soft hair that has a familiar scent that instantly puts you at ease. He prys your arms off of him and pulls you off the dance floor; you don’t protest though, too dazed to understand what’s happening. Your bare feet slap the floor as tears begin to slip out of your eyes. You’re sat in the first empty seat found, and he crouches down in front you to your eye level.

  “What the hell are you doing here, y/n? Do you know how worried i’ve been??” he practically screams over the blaring, bass filled music.

Knowing that Johnny’s upset with you still makes you cry harder, not even from the high amount of alcohol that is in your system. He looks at your tear streaked face and sighs; a good, deep, throaty sigh. The ones that send surges through your body in other scenarios. Johnny pulls the long sleeve of his black shirt over his fingers, lifts your head by your chin, and wipes your tears away before planting a kiss where they once were.

“I want to go home…” you mumble out. To your surprise, he heard you and picked you up, bridal style, carrying you out of the club. His warm body and infatuating scent cause all of your senses to becomes more fucked up than all the alcohol in the world could ever do. As soon as Johnny steps outside, you still in his arms, the cold air attacks you both. You curl deeper into him, wearing his body heat like a gown. You doze off as he walks, and fade in and out of sleep for the next little while.

Feeling fingers in your hair, you open your eyes very slightly, looking up to see whose fingers they are. You’re lying in the back of a taxi, your head resting on Johnny’s lap, his fingers comb through your hair as he looks out at the passing streets. A small smile comes to your lips, but quickly falls as you fall back asleep once more.

A bright light shines through your eyelids, slowly waking you up. Opening your eyes, they’re shocked close again with the surprise of the sun light. Groaning, you try to block the light out with pillows, trying to fall back asleep. The thought of work jerked you wide awake and springing you up onto your hands and knees. You begin the search for your phone, throwing pillows and pushing off blankets, but see your charging phone on the nightstand under a sticky note. You pull off the green note and read it through your squinting eyes. “Hope you slept well, babygirl. You don’t have work today, so don’t worry. I made food for you before I left for work and put it in the fridge. Love you, Johnny.” 

You smile at his sincerity and attentiveness. Your stomach growls loudly at the thought of food and get up to go get it. A bottle of aspirin and a clean glass wait for you on the counter. Pouring orange juice into the glass and taking two pills, you can’t help but feel grateful to Johnny. He’s always there for you for anything. 

“I should… do something for him…” you say aloud and smirk. After eating and taking a refreshing shower, you get in your car and head out. Checking the time, 2:07; perfect, you think. Johnny doesn’t get off work until 7, won’t be home until 8. You head to the grocery store, getting all the thing needed to make Johnny’s favorite dish.

After two hours of cooking this complicated meal, you begin to wonder why you didn’t just make something else, something easier. The sticky note comes into mind and your motivation level is refueled. Dinner is finally ready, the clock reading 6:40. Heading into yours and Johnny’s bedroom, you turn on some music to kinda get you deeper into the mood, change into a short, pink silk robe with light blue lace suspender belt and matching bra/underwear pair on underneath. 

You climb up onto the tall bed as yours and Johnnys song comes on -- Love Faces by Trey Songz. Sitting up on your knees, your hips move around provocatively to the chorus, hands sliding down your silky sides. Waving your butt in the air as you’re bent over, slowly smooth the wrinkles in the sheets out. Hands suddenly grip your hips, making you grab a pillow and throw it behind you at whomever grabbed you, only to see that you had just thrown a pillow at a laughing Johnny. 

“What’s this, hun?” he draws out while tugging on the waist strap on your robe. Pouting, you tie your robe closed and whip your face the other way. “Why didn’t you call me and tell me you were coming home early? Now look what you’ve done, you’ve ruined my plans!” You spit out, hoping he doesn’t take offense.

His hands slowly slide their way over the outsides of your thighs from behind. His breath hot on your bare throat, a small smile forms over your pouty lips. “Don’t be upset with me…” his husky voice against your skin gives you goosebumps. One of his hands slip over your inner thigh, tracing circles, the other pulling your head back to kiss him with his hand firm against your jaw. Your kisses slow at first, but rapidly speed up and turn sloppy. Soft moans of satisfaction come from his throat -- you gasp for breath as he takes every breath you take. He pushes your panting, swollen lips off his, and huffs out:

“You mean to tell me, this isn’t what you planned for? Babygirl, you know me too well…”  

Hushed laughter fills your mouth at that, to which you lay down. Johnny hovers you, bent knees on both sides of you, your arms pinned under your back. His soft hands run all over your body, his hands applying constant pressure, as though he couldn’t get close enough to you. He sticks his thumb in your mouth, which you suck on, running your tongue up and down like it was his hard sex, doing so while keeping strong eye contact with him. Seeing the corners of his stunning lips curl up in amusement of you sends a pulse through your body; anxious of what’s to come, which is going to be you.

Taking his saliva-wet thumb, he runs it along your collarbone, giving your steaming skin some cold moisture. In a standing straddling position over your hips, he unties your robe and pulls it off of you, anxious to see your flawlessly lingerie dressed body. His breath get caught in his throat as his eyes scan your body, taking in every little detail.

Laying over you once more, his mouth takes to your neck, his fingers to your clit. His tongue flipping over the side of you neck, his fingers teasing your clit; circling fast, then slowing down as your back starts arching, and fast again. You pull your hands out from under you and wrap them around johnny’s neck, but he pull off you as soon as he feels your fingers applying pressure to his nape.

“I didn’t say you could pull your arms out, did i?” Johnny scolds you, lightly slapping your thigh. 

“I’m sorry… Let me make it up to you… let me make it all up to you...” You look up at him, giving him your irresistible puppy dog eyes and biting your lip. He smirks and gets off of you, moving to the edge of the tall bed. You jump off the bed, still in your lingerie and step onto the bench at the foot of the bed, kneeling in front of a bulging johnny. He takes his shirt off, revealing his toned body while your hands slide up his jeans from his knees and slip onto the zipper, rubbing your hands over his stiff tent before you unzip his pants and slide them down, then down his underwear fall -- you take your bra off, intensifying the moment.

Your small hands only make his rock hard dick look even bigger. Kissing the head, you put your lips around him, applying the tiniest bit of pressure. Sliding down, and back up just as slow. Your tongue slips over his cock in your mouth, your secret weapon that gets him going wild every time. His hands move out backwards and hi head falls back. His breaths getting quicker as your mouth moves faster.  

“Fuck, r/n…” You can barely hear this over his panting. Finally he leans over to you, pulling your lips to his, back to the sloppy kisses you both adore so much. You step up and sit on him, your legs wrapped around his torso, your sexes touching, causing friction between the both of you, still kissing ferociously. He picks you up effortlessly and lays you on your back over the edge of the bed, so he’s in a standing kneeling position on the bench now. After practically ripping your underwear off, his fingers run over your sex, feeling you ooze. He wastes no time throwing himself into you. The lack of subtlety causes you to yell -- your hands clenching the bed comforter. You both throb against each other, your cum coaxing his dick as he rams in into you, showing no mercy whatsoever. You reach down to rub your clit, but he slaps your hands away and does it himself.

 He teases you, slowing his finger as his cock speeds up -- quickening his finger as he speeds up his ramming. Your time has come, you climax, but Johnny doesn’t stop. You scream - you yell Johnnys name, but it only makes his fingers flick your clit faster - only makes him enter you faster than before- harder than before. Toes curled, knees weak, you nearly rip the bed sheets from pulling on them so hard. Your body spasms from the overstimulation, your eyes watering, unable to open them and look at the beautifully sweaty man that’s ruining you. Then it suddenly stops; Johnny pulls out of you and pulls you by the wrist to sit up. Springing to your knees, you kneel under Johnnys strong, pulsating cock. You grab it from him, your hand slides up and down so fast it’s almost a blur. He lets out a cry and bends over as he releases all over your bare breasts. After he’s all emptied out, he pulls you up and kisses you. Not sloppy kisses, but not soft kisses either; passionate kisses.

 Taking your hand, he leads the both of you into your guys�� large shower where you wash all of the excitement off, the feeling of complete satisfaction remains.