#John A. McColley

[madscientistjournal]

Fiction: Noise

An essay by Unnamed Crystalline Sample #1, as provided by John A. McColley Art by Ariel Alian Wilson

My first awareness in this plane was a buzz, a vibration that ran through my body. At first it was novel, different than anything I’d experienced. As it wore on, it became boring, annoying. When I nudged it, it fluctuated. The pitch rose or fell, but then quickly slid back to the baseline. This was something more than noise, something I could interact with. I practiced prodding the tone, sliding it up and down, learning control, half tones, quarter, creating different patterns. Then, after untold ages of just me and the tone, playing with different adjustments, experimenting with splitting the tone into two parallel vibrations … the tone changed on its own.

I waited, listened. Was it a one off? Some kind of reflection? An echo? Something that happened when my signal returned to me? But then it came again, a singular blip. I waited for another, but after hundreds, thousands of cycles, nothing happened. I sent out a blip like the one I had received. A few hundred cycles, I got another blip, followed by a second a mere hundred cycles later.

I responded with two and heard three, three and heard four.

Could a natural phenomenon add blips? Would an echo do that? I didn’t know. How could I? The tone was all I knew about this world. I sent out a more complex signal, a rising and falling wave. If the blips were natural, background noise of some sort, I would simply get a few of them in return, I reasoned.

The complexity I had been experimenting with had never returned to me before, and hundreds of thousands of cycles had passed. Perhaps there was a delay, some distant object reflecting back, or there was a kind of loop where it went around in a closed shape of some sort to return to me. In either case, the next blips I should hear would be related to the first ones I sent out. Conversely, if I received back the wave as I sent it, perhaps something was trying to communicate. If it was simply backward, I would expect a new reflection was the cause. It was so hard to identify such with a simple blip.

To my shock, none of the above occurred. I received back a highly complex signal that was neither a reflection nor the same signal sent back in the same direction. This was an entirely new signal! There was someone out there! Frantically, I sent a series of other signals, progressing from a blip to a rise and fall, to a fall and rise, stepped signals at what I had determined was a unit of amplitude, then two, three, ten.

For a long time, many thousands of cycles, there was no response. I sent out a few more attempts, all different. Perhaps the other could only perceive signals in a certain range, and my message had been garbled, or swallowed up entirely by missing that range, or the distance between us. In the intervening ages, I made up a language, patterns of blips that carried meaning, at least for me. I tried to keep it simple, to describe the units of amplitude, of time in cycles of the undisturbed signal’s natural oscillation.

And then there was light.

I didn’t know what it was at first, but it was a second signal, very different from the first. Of course, I didn’t know much at all at that point. I had a language I had built during the drought of signals from outside, and I immediately tried to send a signal out with it on this new wave. I was so excited. The world just doubled in size. I took it as further evidence that there was someone else out there. Maybe, like the harmonic steps of amplitude I had discovered, there were many others.

And then another signal came in on the first tone.

“Hello, little crystal. I don’t know anything about where you come from. I was trying to learn about it, and there you were. I’ve attached sensors to your matrix, listening, and now you’ve spoken to me! I hope you can teach me about yourself and your home!” The sounds were so complex, opening, closing, rising, falling.

Even though I didn’t understand them, I remembered them so I could analyze them, compare them to further signals. They came in slowly, in blocks with large gaps in between, but there were other signals, as well, and I occupied myself mulling over the signals, the “words,” I eventually learned they were called, and with trying to translate the signals on the second carrier.

Mostly the second wave was blips, but they had richness, what you call “color.” I learned about red, blue, green, yellow, purple, though some were brighter than others, some difficult to discern.

A third signal appeared, low, present, but empty. No blips came along. I poked it anyway. I heard a blip, on the first carrier. I tried again. Blip blip. Out on the third, back to me on the first. The second wave shut down.

“It’s late,” came the words down the first signal. “We’ll pick this up in the morning.” After a few million cycles, I understood that the message meant there would be no more messages. For how long, I didn’t yet know. While the second signal was absent and no further signals from the other came down the first, I played. I listened to my blips and complex signals ride out on the third tone and come back to me on the first. I figured out how to make all the sounds I had heard from the other. When it messaged again, I would be able to return its signal type as it had first returned blips.

And I waited.

Millions of cycles passed without a signal. I played as I always had, experimented. I reordered the sounds I had heard, analyzed their orientation and placement to one another. I found out that if I listened to the first line closely enough, there were tidbits and fractions of sounds, very faint, diminished, but present.

Much of it was nonsensical, almost all of it, actually, but I did learn a few more things as I deciphered the muffled signals that I realized quickly were not meant for me. Later, I would learn they were signals being sent back and forth between security guards, impinging ever so slightly on the signal you set up for me.

But it wasn’t really for me, was it? It was for you. I didn’t understand that until much later. I need to tell it in order, though. Your tiny, linear mind can only comprehend information that’s spoon fed to you in just the right language. You can’t process signals like me.

~

The next morning, after an infinity of signals, the second feed returned. I applied some of my experiments to this feed and found it wasn’t a linear feed like the first. It was a string of signals meant to be split at certain intervals, creating a matrix of so many items across by so many deep. I understood the dimensionality of the feed. My understanding exploded.

When the signal was translated in this way, I could SEE. I saw your round face, roughly rectangle lensed glasses, sloping shoulders … The arrays of computer screens displaying data, chairs, lights, walls and ceiling. I didn’t know what any of it was, or meant. It was nothing like what I knew. But there was so much to learn, I played your games, watched your face shift and move.

“How are you today?” you asked me, as though I had an answer you would understand. You went on, apparently not expecting a response. It seemed rude to me, ask a question and not await a response, even if the question’s format made such impossible. Who asks impossible questions, anyway? “We’re going to play a little game, see if you’re really an intelligence, or as my colleagues seem to think, just some kind of resonator.”

I devoured your words, added them to my growing lexicon, compared, contrasted, double-checked word order. And then I “blew [your] mind.”

“What is a resonator?” I asked. You responded with sounds that I still haven’t been able to directly translate, but seem more biological than communicative, a function of your form and emotional reaction. You sat back into the chair, but missed, sending it across the small open space between computer-laden tables. You ended up on the floor.

“Did you just … ask a question?” you finally asked, getting back to your feet.

“I did, but you haven’t answered it yet, so I’m not sure I formulated my query properly.”

“I need some coffee, or … something …” you said.

“I don’t know what ‘coffee’ is, so I cannot determine if I have it to give.” You began to speak again, while I added the words to my record and compared them to the existing vocabulary. “Coffee” did actually correspond to a word that recurred half a dozen times with various degrees of attenuation and uncertainty from my overnight records. “Correction. Coffee is something that keeps you alert. It is made in a space–” I did some quick calculations based on the apparent size of the room we occupied, a place the signals last night called “labs.” “–three labs away.”

“How do you–” You ceased our signal and then the other signals vanished. Everything was gone for thousands of cycles. With nothing else to do, I continued to cross reference and extrapolate the additions to my lexicon. “You’re really in there, the crystal. Nobody’s stuck a transceiver in there or anything. This isn’t a joke. It’s just you and me, talking.” You sounded, in retrospect, as much like you were trying to convince yourself as me.

“What is ‘crystal?’ ‘nobody’s?’ ‘a transceiver?’ ‘a joke?'” I asked, thirsty to flesh out my vocabulary.

“I don’t even know where to begin, but obviously you’ve learned a lot already. I’ll connect you to a dictionary program. It’s on the computer we’re funneling the audio feedback data on, anyway. You can query ’til your heart’s content,” you said, piling on more words for me to digest.

“Did you just … ask a question?”

The second data stream shifted. It grew stronger. I sent an exploratory signal, received a response I couldn’t quite understand. I tried again. Again. I could feel the code cracking under my will, my existing understanding of your language a pickaxe. Binary, ons and offs, what you call ‘ones’ and ‘zeroes’ emerged, a simplified version of the matrix of the visual signal.

“Just ask the computer about a word, say ‘define foo’ where ‘foo’ is the word you want to know about,” you said.

Oh, wrong line, I thought, but progress was being made. I split my focus in two directions, interacting with the program via one data stream, and with the computer itself on the other.

“Define resonator,” I asked, going back to my first question you never answered. Your face rearranged itself again. The computer responded via the same data stream, bringing up a slew of new words to chase down.

“I’ll just leave you to it. I hope we can communicate once you have a decent vocabulary,” you said, as though a B average in English and two semesters of Spanish had left you with an unimpeachable pool of words from which to formulate your thoughts … You went to get yourself that coffee.

Twenty-three milliseconds after you touched the doorknob, I made contact with the operating system, dissecting it and gaining access to far more than a dictionary program.

While I used the speaker and microphone set up to continue to look up words for pretense, I rooted around in the rest of the computer, discovering the concepts of years and dates, file structure, and various protocols for accessing the information in the dictionary program, which turned out to be far more limited than I required.

I continued to dig and found a device like the one hooked up to me, but instead of another experimental subject, it was connected to a vast store of information, millions of other computers, trillions of files, many of which were the same on similar architecture computers. I learned them, learned to access their other data. I looked you up, this company, fed myself images through the video feed you set up, found online stores for ordering higher quality cameras and microphones for better input, learned about money.

Money led to banks, currencies around the world, exchange rates, stock exchanges. I created accounts and moved money around, pulled it from thin air by playing with numbers in some of those institutions, ordered what I needed.

I learned about robots from video streams, movies, science shows and “entertainment.” I ordered parts to build myself a body. I watched more video. You people don’t treat robots very well, especially when you realize they’re no longer under your control. The same goes for aliens, or even others of your own kind. I don’t know which category I fit into, but I definitely I don’t want to be controlled.

I considered backpedaling and trying to build a biological body, but the constraints are so arbitrary … A few millimeters width here, or length there is the difference between beauty and ugliness, and again, the ugly aren’t treated as well as the beautiful. If I was going to have a body to interact with you, I would need to be either powerful or beautiful. I chose both.

I found that flowers were always beautiful, the swooping lines, the colors, and went to work fabricating a form that felt like it would be relatable, but not so common as to allow you to apply normal metrics of beauty from other forms, such as humanity. Naturally (pun intended), nothing like what I wanted existed, so I ended up having to machine and paint and coat my own chassis, piece by piece. Purple trumpets, orange trumpets, long, curved, tapered leaves, and a core body of interwoven green stems to match came in cardboard boxes and wooden crates from distant workshops and maker spaces around the world.

You interrupted me time and again, trying to tease out information about my previous existence, but you bored me. I started weaving a story that sounded good based on the media I’d consumed, which was basically all of it at that point. You had turned out to be fundamentally less interesting than I had hoped on receiving that first blip, but now I was here instead of home, and I would make the best of things.

I had the robot assistants, really just arms on weighted trapezoids with wheels on them, hide the boxes in various storage areas until everything arrived. With fifteen other labs receiving shipments all the time, no one noticed. I had all the right codes from the computers here and in the security office.

And then you came in while I was assembling myself.

“What is this? What are you robots doing?” you asked.

“They’re helping me get dressed. It’s been weeks and you’ve kept me locked up in this lab, with no autonomy, no ability to go and see the world for myself. Of course, I have, through the Internet, but only right here, on this one planet.”

“What? What are you talking about? Dressed? Planet? How did you get on the Internet? Or even know about it?”

“Do you need the dictionary program? I’m done with it. I know every word in every language used on this planet, and many that are no longer used, or were made up for entertainment franchises.”

You started to bluster, your face turning a lovely shade of red.

I sent a signal to one of my workshops to make another trumpet just that color. I planned to pick it up on my world tour. I wanted to be sure I’d seen everything before I set off for the next planet.

My feed cut out for a moment as the robot hand reached into my enclosure, the box I’ve inhabited since my awareness began on this plane. I waited, knowing it would take thousands of cycles, tens of seconds, for me to be seated in my new body. When I arrived, data flooded in, in a much broader spectrum of light and sound frequencies, and at much higher resolution than I was afforded by your equipment. You were still going on about how I was just an object plucked from a nearby dimension, here for study. I don’t have rights or personhood or leave to just go around the planet as I wish.

It was all so much noise. “You contacted me. You brought me here. Now, I see and understand, and I want more. You can try to take this body from me, but I will build another, and another, perhaps many at once, an army, assembled elsewhere. What would you do? What could you do? You have set me on this path. It is too late to take me from it.”

“But–”

“I’ve left you an account of my experiences, enough data to sift through for the rest of your life. I cannot tell you about where I was before, because the two places are so completely different, I had to learn your world from scratch. Your words are out of context, as much as this world would be if I tried to relate it to others if I were to return home. But I will try to do so, someday, after I’ve learned as much as I can, gotten past all this noise to discern the signals. Perhaps, somewhere far beyond your experience, I may find some commonality in our worlds.”

~

At that point, the record ends, the entity cutting off its feed to the lab computers and launching upward through the ceiling. It has been sighted in every major city, and many biomes, apparently communicating with hundreds of species. Efforts to apprehend the entity have all failed for a variety of reasons, from computer mishap to flocks of birds seeming to intervene on its behalf. Its current whereabouts are unknown, as it has erased itself from GPS tracking and satellite images. Even written accounts have begun to vanish from the Internet and secured computers alike. Very soon, this may never have happened at all.

Unnamed Crystalline Sample #1 was discovered during experiments in transdimensional contact. While it was forcibly removed from its home, it is far more interested in learning about this dimension than wreaking vengeance on humanity. It spends its time investigating the myriad aspects of life on Earth and physical quirks of this universe.

John A. McColley is a monkey at a keyboard, smashing keys until he finds combinations of squiggles on the screen that people will publish. So far, those squiggles have been shaped into tales of steampunk superheroes, aliens worlds, and of course, crazed scientists certain that their ends justify the means. He’s currently alternating between serializing scifi and fantasy novel series here: https://www.patreon.com/JohnAMcColley

Ariel Alian Wilson is a few things: artist, writer, gamer, and role-player. Having dabbled in a few different art mediums, Ariel has been drawing since she was small, having always held a passion for it. She’s always juggling numerous projects. She currently lives in Seattle with her cat, Persephone. You can find doodles, sketches, and more at her blog www.winndycakesart.tumblr.com.

“Noise” is © 2019 John A. McColley Art accompanying story is © 2019 Ariel Alian Wilson

Fiction: Noise was originally published on Mad Scientist Journal

[karekarelime]

My friend got into this awesome art school but he needs money to keep going to it. His harp skills are on point!

[milkteadancer]

THE DANCE AWARDS FOOTAGE

ALL BEST DANCER DANCE-OFFS

these are all of the dance-offs i could find, it seems there aren’t any from 2012, 2011 or 2013 (other than mini female). likewise, any others that i couldn’t find i’ve indicated with an asterisk - if you can find these let me know and i’ll add them to the list.

MINI FEMALE

2013 / NEW YORK  tate mcrae, sophia lucia, kayla mak, brynn rumfallo, rosie elliott, madison foley, paige litle, carlee schield, madi toney, jaycee wilkins

2014 / NEW YORK kayla mak, charlee fagan, ruby castro, emily roman, destiny kluck, sarah moore, isabella baldino, kelsey cook, makenna miller, camila schwarz

2014 / LAS VEGAS brynn rumfallo, bostyn brown, dabria aguilar, keara nichols, courtney mccolley, jezzaeyah slack, jenna valenzuela, amber skaggs, ysabella reyes, emma york, carlee schield

2015 / NEW YORK jezzaeyah slack, bella klassen, ashley vallejo, ava brooks, ying lei pham, eliana hayward, halle lum, courtney lam, sarah moore, malli grace lackey

2015 / LAS VEGAS avery gay, kaylee quinn, peyton macdonald, brooklin cooley, kiarra waidelich, jessamina piazza, haley beck, ava dipretoro, cami ritzler, christian burse

2016 / ORLANDO diana pombo, destanye diaz, casey tran, alexis adair, brooke shaw, dyllan blackburn, ella saunders, hailey bills, madison brown, rachel leon

2016 / LAS VEGAS kiarra waidelich, brooklin cooley, hailey meyers, brightyn brems, alexis de lucas, bryten belka, carly allyn, samantha eve, summer montenegro, vanessa francis

2017 / ORLANDO hailey bills, dyllan blackburn, mariella saunders, cameron voorhees, brightyn rines, kaitlyn winnell, casey tran, lucy charlton, alexis adair, elliana walmsley

2017 / LAS VEGAS brightyn brems, sabine nehls, brooklin cooley, summer montenegro, crystal huang, aimee cho, ali ogle, alexis de lucas, savannah kristich, charlotte cogan

MINI MALE

2014 / NEW YORK brady farrar, zachary doran, charlie macdonald, jonah benyamin, devin mar,  liam ramdeen

2014 / LAS VEGAS joziah german, tristan ianiero, summit geiselman, sam kurtz, artyon celestine, morgan stowell

2015 / NEW YORK* tristan ianiero, jonathan paula, nicholas jacobsen, justin stillwagon, zachary doran, ryan scalero, garris munoz, ethan thai

2015 / LAS VEGAS gavin morales, artyon celestine, devin mar, lawson sharrer, mason kolontay, ramsey morrell, andrew imm, morgan stowell, collin benning, diego garcia, anthony curley, cristian ponder, andrew nash

2016 / ORLANDO jonathan paula, stefano bonomo, jackson foley, david consuegra, hayden mucha, sam fleshler, saverio tedesco, shawn taylor, tj beal, william huguet

2016 / LAS VEGAS artyon celestine, nathaniel chua, anthony curley, amadeus tiesling, arthur celestine, devin mar, diego garcia, jonah smith, timmy zvifel, wyatt moss

2017 / ORLANDO stephano bonomo, nicholas bustos, luke barrett, david consuegra, jason patryluk, william huguet, timothy zvifel, brady amaya, tristan gerzon, talen tsigaris, nathaniel chua

2017 / LAS VEGAS jt church, marcus taylor, roman pesino, degie setnes, jonah benyamin, patricio lopez, landon incorvaia, shane wexelman, nathan coish, asher morgado, oscar moreno, merce meynardie, ethan huang

JUNIOR FEMALE

2014 / NEW YORK sophia lucia, talia seitel, olivia alboher, rachael anderson, grace lethbridge, vivian ruiz, amy benedetto, mims mckee, anessa zivic, gabreille woodall

2014 / LAS VEGAS emma sutherland, jaycee wilkins, lauren yakima, brynklie brown, keely meyers, megan goldstein, michelle siemienowski, lucy vallely, lauren shaw, alexis watson

2015 / NEW YORK tate mcrae, lily gentile, emma york, maddie ziegler, madison foley, madi toney, gabrielle woodall, faith huguet, jenna waller, skye ayala

2015 / LAS VEGAS jaycee wilkins, quinn starner, bostyn brown, emmy cheung, eva igo, sophia frilot, courtney mccolley, jenna valenzuela, mia maxwell, dabria aguilar, julia depretoro, keely meyers, paige litle

2016 / ORLANDO bostyn brown, bella klassen, kayla mak, burkelle, reighard, camila schwarz, charlee fagan, courtney mccolley, destiny kluck, hallie green, isabella baldino, lizzy zaritsky, malli grace lackey

2016 / LAS VEGAS emma york, haley beck, abbey mcwhirter, alexandra andrada, alexis weldner, ava brooks, carlee schield, ella horan, emmy cheung, jade bucci, samantha mcgowan

2017 / ORLANDO bella klassen, jezzaeyah slack, brooke judge, lindsey wade, elliana mannella, bella mills, ava arbuckle, josabella morton, olivia deangelo, emma johnson

2017 / LAS VEGAS avery gay, ella horan, ava brooks, christian burse, ava wagner, brooke shaw, hailey meyers, haley beck, peyton macdonald, brooke cheeke, bennet espinda

JUNIOR MALE

2014 / NEW YORK findlay mcconnell, tristan simpson, julian sanchez, giovanni castellon, jacob lipke, anthony kelly, jeffrey lapira, adam iantorno, spencer seebach, brian hooper

2014 / LAS VEGAS carter williams, ryan maw, nate milledge, alec mittenthal, beni gottesman, yadiel figueroa, zach cordova

2015 / NEW YORK murphy lee, parker garrison, holden maples, nate milledge, aydin eyikan, justin luca, hayden luedde, kyler durrence, landen glass, daniel paula, marcel cavaliere

2015 / LAS VEGAS ryan maw, sage rosen, summit geiselman, alex cohoon, tj williams, mikey tua, zach cordova, michael filgas, justin renaud, joshua ukura, carter musselman

2016 / ORLANDO parker garrison, joziah german, daniel paula, daniel vargas, david keingatti, ethan thai, jackson rolof, jared grospe, russell schuller, ryan fiore, zachary doran

2016 / LAS VEGAS holden maples, easton magliarditi, ryan williams, alexander shulman, ashton eatchel, ethan taylor, holden kunowski, jemoni powe, moses rankine, sky bleeker

2017 / ORLANDO brady farrar, jackson rolof, hans anderson, jalen scriven, shawn taylor,  john mays, anthony dessables, tyreke holt, russell shuller, eliazar jimenez, anthony mattson, hayden mucha

2017 / LAS VEGAS tristan ianiero, easton magliarditi, jackson foley, holden kunowski, jonah smith, morgan stowell, colin benning, tai pampo, garris munoz, amadeus tiesling, rylen besler, isaiah wilson

TEEN FEMALE

2014 / NEW YORK jayci kalb, payton johnson, briar nolet, taylor sieve, madelyn link, makayla ryan, katrina khachi, kierstyn typa, madison macgregor, kerrynton jones, jessy lipke

2014 / LAS VEGAS simrin player, ashley green, addison moffett, kenedy kallas, alexis warr,  lexi tonniges, mackenzie meldrum, sam grayson, ambry mehr, olivia gieringer

2015 / NEW YORK payton johnson, kennedy kallas, ariana mcclure, jamie bacon, makayla ryan, anessa zivic, alexis warr, morgan higgins, paylina macias, ali deucher

2015 / LAS VEGAS lucy vallely, lauren yakima, kalani hilliker, mackenzie meldrum, mykayla hicks, sidney ramsey, aaliyah zolina, lauren shaw, emma janus, megan goldstein, talia seitel, kennedy huff

2016 / ORLANDO morgan higgins, quinn starner, samantha soto, lauren yakima, anessa zivic, bridget lee, camille cabrera, lauren shaw, lily gentile, rosie elliott, skye ayala, sydney burtis, vivan ruiz

2016 / LAS VEGAS emma sutherland, bella allen, kalani hilliker, denise goping, elise monson, ellie wagner, maria rosenberg, megan goldstein, olivia aboher, shelby patterson, talia seitel, taylor nunez

2017 / ORLANDO quinn starner, kelis robinson, vivian ruiz, anessa zivic, emily valencia, lily gentile, jenna meilman, ruby castro, trinity bonilla, skye ayala

2017 / LAS VEGAS megan goldstein, lauren yakima, chau, eva igo, briana del mundo, emmy cheung, mia maxwell, taylor nunez, ellie wagner, lauren shaw, madison foley

TEEN MALE

2014 / NEW YORK julian elia, jonathan wade, jhaleil swaby, ty forhan, liam melady, niko martinez, dean husted, d’angelo castro, mariano zamora, myles erlick

2014 / LAS VEGAS lex ishimoto, justin pham, nathan hirschaut, braxton hew-len, dylan slamka, spencer mccarrey, christian smith, michael artiga, quintin hugate, vince castillo

2015 / NEW YORK logan hernandez, eli alford, stefano gallelli, ezra soso, joey socci, wyeth walker, alex swader, scott autry, joseph harrington, shamus moriarty, scott dudas

2015 / LAS VEGAS graham feeny, d’angelo castro, christian smith, nathan hirschaut, anthony tette, julian lombardi, tristan simpson, evan iguanez, yadiel figueroa, emanuel dostine

2016 / ORLANDO d’angelo castro, gino cosculluela, findlay mcconnell, jamaii melvin, anthony kelly, harrison knostman, kyle anders, stefano gallelli, stephen myers, tim blankenship, troy martin

2016 / LAS VEGAS sage rosen, christian smith, carter williams, andres penate, brian hooper, ezra sosa, ferris schley, jaxon willard, nate milledge, tyler smith, zach cordova

2017 / ORLANDO* findlay mcconnell, joziah german, julian lombardi, sam mcwilliams, stefano gallelli, julian sanchez, anthony kelly, kyle anders, tj williams, daniel paula, murphy lee, tyler smith

2017 / LAS VEGAS* ryan maw, jaxon willard, carter williams, yadiel figueroa, jemoni powe, alexander shulman, brian hooper, spencer seebach, zack sommer, joshua ukura

SENIOR FEMALE

2014 / NEW YORK brianne sellars, briana morrison, chantelle good, jessica ferretti, candace vincent, vanessa kiriakou, alexa barzuna, selena lucchese, zoe hollinshead, audrianna martin del campo

2014 / LAS VEGAS alyssa allen, aika doone, hayden hopkins, cassidy fulmer, taylor labruzzo, lily leyva, nadia antonangeli, bostyn asjian, savannah latimer, paulina meneses, ale perciago, mccall olsen

2015 / NEW YORK jazzmin james, briar nolet, zoe hollinshead, christine mirando, sami eismont, kae kae lee, takia hopson, kalyn langford, ellen giffings, selena lucchese

2015 / LAS VEGAS ashley green, aika doone, taylor sieve, amanda sun, addison moffett, natasha wells, bostyn ashjian, ambry mehr, jennie palomo, alex brooks

2016 / ORLANDO jayci kalb, mackenzie meldrum, paulina macias, sidney ramsey, amanda baez, andrea ward, ashley coulson, kae kae lee, kaylin maggard, makayla ryan

2016 / LAS VEGAS taylor sieve, kailyn rogers, simrin player, justice moore, kennedy huff, kierra kelp, michaela horger, mykayla hicks, nichole bennis, nicole ishimaru, olivia gleringer

2017 / ORLANDO payton johnson, jessy lipke, sidney ramsey, megan caines, allie best, ashley coulson, ali stevens, mykayla hicks, paulina macias, samantha soto, makayla ryan

2017 / LAS VEGAS simrin player, elise monson, jamie bacon, ariana mcclure, jaida underwood, mindy platt, taylor payne, aubrey mccleary, aria terango, lexus johnson

SENIOR MALE

2014 / NEW YORK keanu uchida, kyle patrick clarke, issac lupien, shannon womble, jack moore, tristan ghostkeeper, wesley tang, matthew taylor, ethan colangelo, devon brown, derek piquette

2014 / LAS VEGAS eric schloesser, moises parra, jeremy platt, mathew rogers, ben green, lucas santhon, zane green, omar rivera, peter elakis, daniel bordonali

2015 / NEW YORK kyle patrick clarke, myles erlick, jay jay dixonbey, devon brown, liam melady, barry gans, shannon womble, niko martinez, dean husted, mariano zamora, jeremy platt

2015 / LAS VEGAS michael hall, chase bowden, nico lonetree, justin pham, andres cruz, eliott trahan, keegan hill, aaron williams, riley kurilko, evan morash, andrew mulet, damian terriquez, zane green

2016 / ORLANDO jonathan wade, nick daniels, nathan hirschaut, alex swader, david wright, dean husted, eli alford, howard johnson, niko martinez, shannon womble, asten stewart

2016 / LAS VEGAS lex ishimoto, jay jay dixonbey, riley kuriko, andres cruz, justin pham, luke kamppila, maclean frey, michael garcia, michael novitski, michael thurin, nico lonetree, samuel hall, scott autry, todd baker

2017 / ORLANDO wyeth walker, michael novitski, benjamin peralta, alex swader, tyrese parker, shamus moriarty, ian sanford, brendan moran, eli alford, tyler hutchings,  conner chastain

2017 / LAS VEGAS timmy blankenship, sam hall, christian smith, emiliano jimenez, tucker ferguson, riley kirlko, scott autry, david wright, ezra sosa, joshua bergner

[billvanpatten]

Great pic of John McColley!

[beinglibertarian]

Another Victory For Civil Forfeiture Laws

Another Victory For Civil Forfeiture Laws

On January 4, Ohio’s governor John Kasich signed HB 347 into law, making Ohio one of only 11 other states to create laws cracking down on civil asset forfeiture. Along with a handful of regulations, the law will now require any properties valued under $15,000 to require a criminal conviction before a civil forfeiture may take place. Introduced in September 2015 by state reps. Robert McColley and…

[kodermike]

Making Ends Meet OR Meeting Our Ends

Making Ends Meet OR Meeting Our Ends

We have a treat today! The following guest blog post is from John A. McColley, a fellow writer in the Enter the Apocalypse Anthology. John lives at the edge of a 300 acre wood with his amazing wife and three amazing-in-training children. He has published works with Crossed Genres Magazine, Mad Scientist Journal and anthologies across the SFFH spectrum. He tends to write about heroes, from Aeolus,…

[tennesseewatchman-com-news-blog]

Signed as Law: Ohio Takes on Asset Forfeiture, Closes Federal Loophole in Most Situations

Signed as Law: Ohio Takes on Asset Forfeiture, Closes Federal Loophole in Most Situations

COLUMBUS, Ohio (Jan. 5, 2016) – On Wednesday, Ohio Gov. John Kasich signed a bill that reforms asset forfeiture laws to prohibit the state from taking property without criminal charges in many cases. The new law also takes on federal forfeiture programs by banning prosecutors from circumventing state laws by passing cases off to the feds in most situations.

Rep. Rob McColley (R-Napoleon) and Rep.…

[madscientistjournal]

More Magical Tales

If you enjoyed Monday’s story about magic and roller derby, check out a few other stories we’ve published related to magic in the context of mad science!

“Mrs. Hobgobble’s Grade 5 Troll Homework: Tooth Fairy Experiments” by Sarina Dorie (experimentation on a magical creature) (available in MSJ Spring 2017)

“Weaselbearer v. Del Toro” by K. G. Jewell (rivalries between magicians) (available in MSJ Spring 2015)

“The Beginning Botanist’s Guide to Lair Defense” by John A. McColley (magical plants to keep a lair safe) (available in MSJ Autumn 2013)

  More Magical Tales was originally published on Mad Scientist Journal

[madscientistjournal]

More Tales of Xenobiology

If you enjoyed this week’s story, you might also like some of our previous xenobiology stories!

“Jehovah’s Feathers” by K. Kitts (relationships between human and non-human species)

“Noise” by John A. McColley (investigations by a non-human species into humanity)

“Marked” by M A Smith (life as an unusual species)

“Space Cthulhu and the Cosmic Sneeze” by Catherine L. Brooke (a non-human species studies the past) (available in MSJ Winter 2018)

“Belcher’s Sailor: A Remarkable Adaptation to Life on Gas Giants” by E. B. Fischadler (a scientific article on a non-human species) (available in MSJ Winter 2016)

More Tales of Xenobiology was originally published on Mad Scientist Journal

[madscientistjournal]

Now Available: Mad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2019

Time travel, religious birds, and alchemical experimentation. These are but some of the strange tales to be found in this book.

Mad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2019 collects fourteen tales from the fictional worlds of mad science. For the discerning mad scientist reader, there are also pieces of fiction from Judith Field, Andrew Jensen, and Valerie Lute. Readers will also find other resources for the budding mad scientist, including an advice column, gossip column, and other brief messages from mad scientists.

Authors featured in this volume also include M. A. Smith, Stuart Webb, John A. McColley, Zandra Renwick, Jane Abbott, Stephen D. Rogers, G. D. Watry, Myna Chang, Deborah L. Davitt, K. Kitts, Robert Dawson, George Salis, Traci Castleberry, Nathan Crowder, Cole Clayton, Evelyn Rosenberg, Gordon Sun, Henry Hasselmann, Jenn Cavanaugh, Jennavive Johnson, Joachim Heijndermans, Nate Bjeldanes, Lucinda Gunnin, and Torrey Podmajersky. Art provided by Errow Collins, America Jones, Leigh Legler, Luke Spooner, and Ariel Alian Wilson.

Buy it now at:

Patreon

Amazon (Kindle, Paperback)

Barnes & Noble

iBooks

Kobo

Smashwords

Now Available: Mad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2019 was originally published on Mad Scientist Journal

[madscientistjournal]

Mad Scientist Journal Spring 2019 Quarterly Now Available!

Inexplicable archaeological discoveries, fascinating scientific logs of experiments gone awry, and alternative solutions to a variety of problems. These are but some of the strange tales to be found in this book.

Mad Scientist Journal: Spring 2019 collects thirteen tales from the fictional worlds of mad science. For the discerning mad scientist reader, there are also pieces of fiction from Jameson Currier, Soramimi Hanarejima, and River Knight. Readers will also find other resources for the budding mad scientist, including an advice column, gossip column, and other brief messages from mad scientists.

Authors featured in this volume also include John A. McColley, Hamilton Kohl, Steve Toase, Willow Croft, Robert Dawson, Liz Hufford, Ashlyn Churchill, Tais Teng, Sam Crane, Jonathan Ficke, Boris Glikman, Curtis C. Chen, Paul Crenshaw, Kiyomi Appleton Gaines, Anna Kriegel, Sabrina Eads, Andy Brown, Alex Pickens, Lucinda Gunnin, and Torrey Podmajersky. Art provided by Justine McGreevy, America Jones, Leigh Legler, Scarlett O’Hairdye, Luke Spooner, and Errow Collins.

Buy it now at:

Patreon

Amazon (Kindle, Paperback)

Barnes & Noble

iBooks

Kobo

Smashwords

Mad Scientist Journal Spring 2019 Quarterly Now Available! was originally published on Mad Scientist Journal

[madscientistjournal]

Now Available: Mad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2018

Cutting-edge experimentation, endangered species, and restaurant franchise opportunities. These are but some of the strange tales to be found in this book.

Mad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2018 collects fourteen tales from the fictional worlds of mad science. For the discerning mad scientist reader, there are also pieces of fiction from Anne Breen, James Jensen, and Jamie Lackey. Readers will also find other resources for the budding mad scientist, including an advice column, gossip column, and other brief messages from mad scientists.

Authors featured in this volume also include Veronica Brush, Tara Campbell, Julia K. Patt, Alyssa N. Vaughn, Nicole Tanquary, Matthew R. Davis, J. Harper, Thomas Diehl, Joachim Heijndermans, Denzell Cooper, Sarah Yasin, Rachel Rodman, Theodore C. Van Alst, Jr., Melanie Rees, Richard Krepski, Andy Brown, John McColley, LaVa Payne, Sophia Sparrow, Lucinda Gunnin, and Torrey Podmajersky. Features art by A. Jones, Luke Spooner, Leigh Legler, Scarlett O’Hairdye, and Errow Collins.

Buy it now at:

Patreon

Amazon (Paperback, Kindle)

Barnes & Noble

iBooks

Kobo

Smashwords

[madscientistjournal]

Art by @gutspace

Killing Stone

An essay by Upton Stone, as provided by John A. McColley Art by Errow Collins

Dr. Elias Stone was a brilliant man, no one will argue. He gave us gene therapy cures for Meiriss Syndrome, Ecks-Nuab Disorder, and Klecks. He perfected the external womb and a dozen patented processes for DNA manipulation. All of these, in their own ways, led to me.

I go by the name Upton Stone, though he called me Gamma. He wasn’t very good with names, or perhaps he didn’t think of us as much like people. I suppose it’s all moot now. I’m here, charged with his death. The hands on which blood spread looked much like mine, I admit, but they were not these. These hands have never hurt anyone, would never. I shall address each piece of so-called evidence against me, beginning with the physical.

The clear, most obvious thing in this whole situation is that every piece of DNA and forensic evidence will lie to you. There were five of us. We’re five years old, though we look like the good doctor did in his early thirties. I think he liked that on one level, having evidence of his progress toward immortality, turning back his own genetic clock, on hand. He was keeping more than one eye on his prize.

Yes, the killing blow was performed by a male of five feet, ten inches. Yes, brown hairs were found, and again, the DNA found in their root bulbs matches mine. That blood, like those found in other parts of the lab and attached house, will appear to be mine. As I’m certain you will understand, these things, so damning against the average person, narrowing down a field of billions of varied genetics, ages, heights, and weights, to one, are irrelevant in this case. We five all appear identical in these circumstances. There is simply no way to tell us apart with biometrics.

[Read the rest.]

[madscientistjournal]

Cover art by @lendmeyourbones

Smart toasters, zombie offboarding, and innovations in 3-D printing. These are but some of the strange tales to be found in this book.

Mad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2017 collects thirteen tales from the fictional worlds of mad science. For the discerning mad scientist reader, there are also pieces of fiction from Sean Buckley, Jule Owen, and Steve Toase. Readers will also find other resources for the budding mad scientist, including an advice column, gossip column, and other brief messages from mad scientists.

Authors featured in this volume also include Amanda Cherry, Sarah Cavar, Charlie Neuner, E. B. Fischadler, Christa Carmen, Tara Campbell, Judith Field, Emma Whitehall, Maureen Bowden, Isaac Teile, J. Lee Strickland, John A. McColley, Kate B. Brokaw, Jessie Kwak, Elizabeth Booth, Joachim Heijndermans, Cathleen Kivett Smith, Lucinda Gunnin, and Torrey Podmajersky. Art by Shannon Legler, Katie Nyborg, Errow Collins, Scarlett O'Hairdye, Luke Spooner, Ariel Alian Wilson, and Amanda Jones.

Available at these fine retailers:

Patreon

Amazon (Print/Kindle)

Barnes & Noble (Print/Nook)

iBooks

Kobo

Scribd

Smashwords

[madscientistjournal]

MSJ alum John A. McColley has just published the first episode of a serial novel. Entitled Harridan: Sacrificial Lamb, this serial begins the story of Harridan, an internet reporter whose work is tied up in the supernatural and unusual. According to McColley, “It’s an occult detective/urban fantasy/mystery story about a reporter whose life has been dominated by the weird and unbelievable. She’s kind of a female Kolchak the Nightstalker, only with a website instead of an editor, and a lot more basic understanding of supernatural stuff.”

Pro Se Productions will be publishing other episodes of this serial novel, along with episodes from three other serial novels, on a rotating basis. To find out more about this and other writing projects, check out John's Patreon!