#Jisoo Hong

[itssunshinetoday]

~ the boyfriend pictures series

boyfriend pictures

[kyeomkuppie]

Insomnia.

Pairing: Joshua x gn!reader

Genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

Synopsis: Your boyfriend comforts you when you can't sleep.

"Darling, why aren't you sleeping?" He groggily sat up. You'd been tossing and turning for the past 30 minutes, which led to your boyfriend waking up.

"Can't sleep."

"C'mere," He pulled you by your waist, your back against his chest. "We'll fall back to sleep together, hm?"

You turned around to bury your head in his chest. It felt so warm, the way his arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to hear the sounds of his heartbeat.

"What's on your mind?" Silence. "Darling?"

"I'm just so tired— and sleep just isn't coming." You whispered.

Your voice was hoarse and exhausted, barely above a whisper. The exhaustion was eating at you and you were only yearning for a way to get you to sleep.

He gently patted your back. Silence engulfed the room but it was as if some unspoken words were going on between you two. He knew you had insomnia and that it was difficult— very difficult for you to fall asleep but despite that, he wanted to share your sleepless night with you even if it meant waking up tired like he had been sleeping on rocks

You were starting to feel drowsy as your boyfriend told you about his day and random things about the past "Remember when when you used to like me and you wouldn't look me in the eye." He chuckled "I used to think you hated me then."

You smiled to yourself, remembering how you used to act around him. Joshua had always been the one person who knew how to make you smile in the toughest of times, despite not being at his best either.

He was tired. It was apparent from the way he kept yawning every few seconds but he still insisted on keeping you company.

You were finally getting drowsy and your eyes were slowly closing on their own. "Love you Shua." You whispered before finally closing your eyes, drifting off to dreamland.

"I love you too darling." He smiled before his head finally fell back on his pillow.

Reblogs and comments are appreciated!

[pe-arls]

© jisoo blackpink. minimalist lockscreens

[vernoniekiss]

joshua hong headcannons

↬ a gentleman. absolute gentleman. would drop anything that he’s doing to tend to you. T^T

↬ the type to check in with you every hour if he’s away from you ( like on tour ).

↬ would also stick sticky notes around the house for you to find. cute.

↬ help you with your skincare. likes to take off your makeup when you’re too tired.

↬ likes to cook with you or for you.

↬ would make you a personal perfume.

↬ i feel like joshua is a sucker for romance so date night with him is always *chef kiss*

↬ he likes to hold your hands when your out in public. also seems like the type to walk near the road, like yk. him near the road and your not ??? if that makes sense.

↬ likes to hug you a lot. a lot a lot. in private or in public. he doesn’t mind showing the whole world on how much he loves you.

↬ not really scared to show affection in public but prefers to keep it private but he’ll do subtle gestures in public: like holding your hands, keeping an arm around you. small kisses here and there.

↬ likes to go on midnight walks with you. where it’s nice and peaceful as well as quiet. holding each other’s hand and embracing the warmth of each other (???).

↬ i don’t really imagine joshua as a jealous or possessive type but if he sees a guy or anyone making you uncomfortable he’ll make his presence known. he’ll wrap himself around you to let the guy know your taken.

[inmynewworld]

Joshua for 'Arena Homme+'. ♡ #1

[kwancat7]

|| Rival Hearts | Joshua Oneshot

You have hated Joshua Hong since high school. It’s been seven years, and that resentment still burns brightly. Joshua, the heir to one of the most prestigious families in Korea, was always the arrogant, untouchable figure in your life. The mere mention of his name would send you into a fury.

Back in high school, you were the girl who stood up to him, the one who called him out on his privileged behavior. He, in turn, was the guy who enjoyed making your life difficult. The rivalry started with petty arguments and escalated into full-blown confrontations. Your disdain for him was so palpable that your friends often joked about it.

—

When you found out that your family’s financial troubles had reached a breaking point, you were devastated. Your parents had always been supportive, but their debts were too overwhelming to manage alone. The final blow came when they announced their plan to marry you off to Joshua Hong in a desperate bid to save the family from bankruptcy. You were horrified and refused outright.

“No, I will not marry him!” you shouted, your voice trembling with anger and fear.

Your parents tried to reason with you. “It’s the only way we can save the family from financial ruin. Joshua’s family is offering a substantial amount of help in return.”

You shook your head. “I don’t care about the money. I can’t marry him. You know how much I hate him.”

But despite your protests, the marriage was inevitable. The wedding was arranged, and it became a media frenzy. The Hong family’s reputation and your family’s desperation intertwined, creating a spectacle no one could ignore. Your anger simmered beneath the surface, and Joshua seemed just as indifferent, his smile always radiating that same smugness you despised.

The day of the wedding arrived, and you walked down the aisle with a heavy heart. The ceremony felt surreal, and every moment was a stark reminder of how far your life had shifted. Joshua’s gaze met yours with a mix of curiosity and amusement, his eyes glinting with that familiar arrogance.

As you exchanged vows, you felt trapped. Your voice wavered, but you held your ground, determined not to show weakness. Joshua’s responses were polite but detached, and the ceremony ended with the expected fanfare of a celebrity wedding.

The first few days of married life were stifling. Joshua maintained his distance, his behavior as cold as ever. You avoided him whenever possible, focusing on your own routines and trying to adjust to the new reality. Your feelings of resentment were matched only by your loneliness.

—

One evening, you were sitting in the living room, reading a book, when Joshua entered. He looked different—his demeanor was softer, his expression more contemplative. He hesitated before speaking.

“Do you mind if we talk for a moment?” he asked, You glanced up, surprised. “What is it?” ,“I know things have been rough between us,” Joshua began, sitting down on the opposite couch. “I’ve been thinking a lot about our high school days and how I treated you.” You raised an eyebrow. “Really? After all this time, you’re suddenly feeling reflective?” , Joshua nodded. “Yeah. I was a complete jerk back then. I thought I was above everyone, including you. I’m sorry for everything.” ,You were taken aback. “You’re apologizing? Why now?”, “Because I don’t want us to keep hating each other,” Joshua said earnestly. “I know I messed up, and I want to make things right. I’m trying to understand you better and not just be the guy who married you for convenience.”, You were silent for a moment, processing his words. “You think saying sorry will fix everything?” ,“No,” he said, shaking his head. “But it’s a start. I want to show you that I’ve changed. I want us to at least be civil, if not more.” , You studied him, noticing the sincerity in his eyes. “Alright. But if you want to change things, you need to start by actually getting to know me.”, Joshua’s face lit up with a small smile. “Fair enough. How about we start with dinner tonight? Just us, no pretenses.”, You hesitated but then agreed. “Okay. But don’t expect me to be friendly right away.”

The dinner was a mix of awkwardness and tentative conversation. Joshua made an effort to ask about your interests, and you found yourself surprisingly open. As the days turned into weeks, his gestures of kindness, though small, started to chip away at the walls you had built.

—

One evening, as you sat together watching a movie, Joshua spoke up. “You know, I never realized how passionate you are about your hobbies. I always thought you were just another girl with a grudge against me.” , You chuckled softly. “And what did you think of me then?”, “A bit of a troublemaker,” Joshua admitted with a smile. “But now, I see there’s more to you than I ever gave you credit for.”, You were beginning to see Joshua in a different light. “And what about you? What do I see?”, He looked thoughtful. “Maybe a guy who’s trying to make up for past mistakes. Someone who’s not perfect but is trying to be better.”

—

As the weeks passed, the animosity between you began to fade. Joshua’s efforts to connect with you slowly transformed into something deeper. Conversations became easier, and you found yourself laughing at his jokes and enjoying his company. The barriers you had built began to crumble, and you realized that your feelings were changing.

One evening, after a particularly enjoyable dinner, Joshua looked at you with a mixture of hope and uncertainty. “I know this is sudden, but I’ve been wanting to ask you something.”

“What is it?” you asked, curious. , “Do you think we could give this—us—a real chance?” Joshua asked, his voice earnest. “I know it’s not going to be easy, but I really want to see where this could go.” You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of your past resentment lift. “I’m willing to give it a try. But it’s going to take time.” , Joshua’s face softened, and he reached out to take your hand. “I’m willing to wait. I just want us to start over, and this time, to do it right.”

As you looked at Joshua, you realized that the journey from enemies to lovers was not only possible but also genuine. The love that had emerged from the most unlikely of places was something you both cherished, and you found yourself hopeful for the future.

[tangerine-seungkuan]

[animeniacss]

So Close Yet So Far - Mingyu x Reader - Chapter 18 - The Engagement Party

Synopsis: Your college friend, Kim Mingyu, has had a grip on your heart since the first day you met. Over the past few years, as you acquired more friendships and memories, those feelings only grew. However, recently, Mingyu has seemed a bit more distant, at least when it comes to any ideas of romance. It only gets worse when rumors fly that he's off to Japan to receive a marriage proposal! Unsure what to do, you wonder how you can keep Mingyu by your side without jeopardizing your friendship or your growing feelings. You never expected that waking up one drunken morning next to two hot angels would be your ticket into Mingyu's heart.

Genre: Romance, College!AU, Modern Fantasy, Comedy, Angsty

Length: approx. 6.6k words

Chapter 18 - The Engagement Party

 “Are you ready?” Minnie asked, tightening her grip around your arm. She fixed one stray strand of hair from your face, which made you smile. “We can leave whenever you want. Okay?”

“I know,” you assured. “It’ll be fine.” As you entered the massive venue, the luxury of the hotel stunning all of you to silence, you followed the crowds into the dining hall. It took a few minutes of maneuvering around others, but you all finally found the seats that were together. The minute you walked in, you saw the photos of Mingyu and Mina from their engagement photo shoot, which you knew about for weeks when Minnie found the photos circulating online. It made your stomach do somersaults, but you simply avoided your eyes, sitting in your seat. The entire room was decorated in flowers, lights illuminated every inch of the area, and the stage that seemed to be inserted just for this event was set up like a fashion show was about to begin. A spotlight sat in the middle, and you knew that in a matter of minutes, Mingyu and Mina would be standing there, arm and arm. Joshua and Jeonghan sat on either side of you, and immediately Jihoon leaned to Joshua, the duo beginning to whisper.

“This is amazing for just an engagement party,” Hoshi said.

“Yeah, they pulled out all of the stops. I feel like I’m in a big-budget movie or something.” Seungkwan added. When he saw you cover your face, he reached over and removed your hands to avoid messing up your makeup. “Sorry. It all looks horrible.” Thankfully for Seungkwan and Hoshi, you chuckled at that one. Idle chitchat for others at nearby tables filled the room pretty quickly as more people arrived. You turned your head a bit, finally laying eyes on Mr. Kim and Mr. Myoui. They were making their rounds through the tables, shaking hands and hugging friends and family. They both seemed excited for the night and were sharing that excitement with equally as excited attendees.

“They better not come over here.” You muttered, regret for saying that out loud immediately cutting through your brain. As if your comment summoned them, Mr. Kim and Mr. Myoui both made their way to your table. Everyone stood up, offering one polite bow. You did as well, immediately sitting down and looking up at the pair.

“We’re sure Mingyu and Mina will be delighted to see that their friends were able to attend.” Mr. Kim said. When he stressed a particular word’, you could have sworn he looked directly at you, but for your sanity, you chose to ignore it. You had to bite the inside of your lip. “Isn’t it all lovely? The two of them look so perfect.” He motioned to the photos littering the room, and you felt a tingle up your spine. A gentle hand on your back alerted your attention over your shoulder, and Jeonghan was right there. He seemed to nonverbally encourage you to hold your tongue for as long as you could.

Jihoon, shameless, seemed to have no problem speaking up: “Mingyu looks miserable in all of them.”

“Woozi!” Hoshi nudged him immediately, his voice hushed and embarrassed. He shrugged, smiling at Hoshi to ease his nerves.

“Right, sorry. Maybe it’s just the angle. We are sitting so far away.” He looked at the fathers of the couple, smelling their annoyance at his comment. “Forgive me.”

The pair simply left the table, Woozi’s amused smirk widening when he heard: “Tch, I cannot believe Mingyu somehow mixed himself up in that crowd.” from a very bitter Mr. Kim. Woozi turned back to the group.

“Remember, when he comes out there and starts mingling, everyone needs to look like they are happy for him and that we’re having a good time. It’ll make Mina feel worse.”

Seungkwan looked confused. “Are you sure? Won’t that just make her think we’re happy for them?”

“No. Because Mingyu will look miserable, and that’s the only reaction she’s going to be focusing on this entire night.”

“Do you think it’ll be enough to get her to call the entire thing off, though?” Minnie asked. Woozi shrugged, patting Joshua on the shoulder.

“Depends how convincing Hyung is. And from what I can tell, he’s pretty convincing.” Joshua frowned.

“You scare me,” Joshua said, but Jihoon’s grin only widened.

The party continued filling up, and as more people around you chatted about the stunning and perfect couple, you couldn’t help but feel more and more that seed of anxiety blooming through your body and into a flower of insecurity. Nobody at the table was really speaking, unable to find the right words as they waited for the main event to begin. However, that didn’t seem to help your feelings of self-worth crumbling around you. You looked back at the photos of Mingyu and Mina plastered all over like wallpaper, and you found yourself unable to hold back your negative thoughts.

So, this is how it ends. You thought to yourself, leaning back in your lush, brightly decorated chair. You brushed the tickling sensation of the tablecloth off your knee and inner thigh, pushing it back under the table before fixing your dress. Silverware and glasses shook, vibrating a low harmony with one another as they steadied themselves.

The sound of a microphone screeched into the room, temporarily cutting through the layer of idle chitchat that had befallen the beautifully decorated banquet hall. Someone up at the front of the room was speaking, but you could barely hear it. Not because it was too loud, but because your mind tried so desperately to drown out the voice. I can’t handle it. I don’t want to hear it…Your head rested in your hand, elbow acting as a stand on the table to keep you from slamming it down. Maybe that would be a good excuse to go home. No, I can’t leave. You thought. I need to sit here. I deserve to see this. I didn’t do enough….I wasn’t enough….I wasn’t enough….

Suddenly, you felt a gentle hold on your shoulder, a squeeze from a firm, yet gentle hand. A feeling of calmness attempted to override the current disdain that was coursing your veins. You looked over, eyes watering as you stared at a blurry figure beside you. You couldn’t make out who it was, but you knew you felt okay. You felt ok.

Claps and cheer erupted in the room, and you turned your head, wiping your eyes frantically. Your hands banged together like a drum you weren’t controlling, chewing your inner lip as two figures walked out before the cheering crowd. Under one large spotlight, stood Mingyu. A beautifully statuesque individual, his dark black hair combed back and styled to go well with his freshly pressed suit. You saw him smile just a bit, but you could tell how white his teeth were as his lips curled. The left side lifted ever so slightly higher than the right as he looked around. On his arm stood another figure, just as beautiful as he in her stunning white gown and veil covering her face. It was as if the duo were plucked straight out of a wedding magazine and set right in front of your eyes.

I could never be enough. You felt that thought to pierce your brain and shoot right into your heart, and you had to contain a sob, hopping the harder you clapped, the less obvious it would seem to those sitting around you. Another hand pressed against your back, but this time you couldn’t muster the strength to look away. You simply closed your eyes, taking a deep breath as the clapping around you slowly began to stop. When you turned your head, you looked behind you to see two men. You couldn’t make out their faces, most likely because you continued to feel tears well up once again, and it was dark anywhere other than the stage, but their silhouettes told you they were close to one another, and the faint noise coming from their direction. Were they…whispering? You could make out what they were saying and only closed your eyes once more. You wanted to drown out the entire night; go back to when it was simpler. Before you got yourself involved with nonsense that you knew would never work out.

The sound of your name being called felt faint at first, so you chose to ignore it. However, as you heard it get louder and louder, you couldn’t ignore it anymore. Especially when a familiar deep voice began calling it. You felt your head spinning, and you had to open your eyes, hoping your wish would be a reality. When you looked over, you saw not Mingyu, but Joshua, gripping your hands tightly. He was smiling as he knelt a bit to your level.

“Let’s dance,” he said eagerly.

Your eyes darted over his shoulder and saw Woozi was already up, making his way over to the couple as they descended the stage, seemingly ready to be bombarded by excited guests. “What?” You asked as you looked back at him.

“Let’s dance.” He said. Standing up, you looked to Jeonghan, who motioned you towards the dance floor that was already filling up with eager people. Hoshi seemed ready to follow as well, grinning wildly as the music began to pump through the room. Minnie seemed to do the same motion, grinning playfully as she sat beside Jeonghan. It wasn’t long before she and Seungkwan hopped up as well, and scurried into the crowds of people. “Come on,” Joshua said. You nodded, following him.

On the dance floor, Joshua found a spot that had not been taken, still offering the three of you a lot of room. You looked up at him as his eyes scanned the crowd, immediately falling towards the stage. You watched him for a second, neither of you moving, though he held you close to him. “Joshua, what are you-.”

“Sh.” He said quickly, before politely adding. “Please.” You turned your head, trying to see what he was staring at. However, you had no luck with the wall of people blocking your way. “Perfect. Okay, ready?”

“Ready for what?” you asked. Just then, Joshua stepped back a bit, and Hoshi hopped to his side. The both of them seemed to take a second to adjust to the beat of the song but immediately began busting out the most intense set of moves. From Hoshi, always excitable, you expected it. However, you couldn’t hold back your amused laughter as Joshua joined in, doing some silly dance in a half bend spinning his hands in little circles and sometimes throwing them up at certain beats. “Oh my god, what are you doing?” You said between laughs. Hoshi laughed at the sight too, clinging to your arm to balance himself. Joshua grinned, standing upright and taking your hands in his.

“Join me!” He shouted. You looked around, seeing that while others were enjoying the music, these two were absolutely and shamelessly enjoying themselves. You couldn’t help it and ended up joining in with the seemingly frantic and thoughtless movements shared by your friends.

Closer to the stage, Mingyu was standing beside Mina. He had his hand in his pocket, scanning the crowds as Mina thanked everyone for coming. When he was acknowledged, he simply shook the person's hand or bowed and thanked them, before allowing his attention to wander once again. Mina was beaming as she showcased her beautiful ring to her friends, squealing in delight and thanking them for making the journey to Korea for the event. In his scanning, he saw a familiar short figure approaching him, hands in his pockets and a smug look on his face.

“Oh jeez.” Mingyu sighed. “Hello, Jihoon-Hyung…You guys made it.”

“Couldn’t miss it,” he said. “Had to see the happy couple.” Mingyu had to get a dry chuckle, but Jihoon didn’t try. “Am I able to pull your wife-.”

“Don’t call her that,” Mingyu said immediately, fortunate Mina didn’t hear that as she was still distracted by her friends.

“Right. Can I steal Mina for a bit?”

Mingyu was seemingly dying for someone to ask with how quickly he stepped aside, alerting Mina to see Jihoon. She smiled.

“Jihoon! I’m so glad you’re here! Is everyone else-?”

“They’re dancing already. Great idea to have a DJ.” He pointed to the dance floor, where both Mina and Mingyu looked. Jihoon didn’t need to look at Mingyu to know his eyes immediately locked on Joshua and Hoshi, dancing with you in stitches as you joined them. Jihoon saw the smile on your face as you danced, not a care in the world. When he finally did turn to Mingyu, he saw his friend’s face turn cold, bottom lip caught between frustrated teeth. “You alright, Mingyu?”

“Hm? Yeah.” Mingyu didn’t even turn to look at Jihoon, eyes locked on the trio on the dancefloor like a sniper locking on their target. His eyes shot up to Joshua specifically, watching as he reached his hands out and took yours into them, spinning you around. Hoshi seemed to want the same treatment, leaving you bent over giggling as Joshua took Hoshi’s hand and spun him around.

I heard her confess her love to Joshua at the beach house on the first night.

Mingyu clenched his fists. Woozi looked at the bride, immediately catching her eyes studying Mingyu’s. “What’s wrong?” she asked softly. Her eyes tracked his, and when they landed on the same sight, she covered her mouth. “Oh…” she smoothed out her dress. “Mingyu, I-.”

“I’ll be right back,” he said, before walking into the dancing crowd. Mina covered her mouth. Woozi’s eyes widened in surprise, crossing his arms over his chest. He looked over at Mina. “Should I go stop him?”

Her question made him snort. “He won’t listen to you.”

Your dancing was interrupted by Mingyu approached the group. You looked over first before Joshua and Hoshi stopped their dancing and noticed him as well. He had his eyes glued to Joshua, and he immediately noticed the frustrated look in his eyes. He stepped beside you, gripping your arm. You watched the duo share very stone-cold and serious looks at one another, tension circulating around the group as it settled within this one spot on the dance floor. Anxiety began sitting in your chest again, and you stepped in between the both of them. “No fighting, please,” you begged. “Not now…” Mingyu and Joshua took a second before finally allowing their chests to deflate and their egos to calm down. You immediately glanced at Mingyu, who scratched at the back of his neck. You admired him in his suit, taking in his appearance from up close now that you had the chance. It made jealousy easily hop from Mingyu to you and sit in your stomach.

“You came.” Mingyu sounded relieved. “I didn’t think you would.” You only nodded, keeping your hands busy by rubbing them along the sides of your dress. Mingyu offered a little smile, looking down at his feet. “Listen, I-.” Before Mingyu could begin, Joshua took your arm into his. You glanced over.

“Let’s get something to eat and bring it back to the table for Jeonghan.” Before anyone could say anything else, Joshua led you off to the food table. Mingyu turned his head, watching the both of you weave through the crowd and head towards the food table. He watched as you stood, Joshua immediately motioning to all of the different snacks and treats that were offered before the main course. He watched as Joshua lifted a cupcake, carefully unwrapped it, and offered it to you. He watched as Joshua grinned, as you hesitated but took a bite. He had to stop looking when he felt his blood boil. Hoshi nudged him.

“Jealous?” He asked. Mingyu stayed quiet, and Hoshi chuckled. “I’d get over there before she starts feeding him.” Mingyu did just that, which caught Mina’s attention from Jihoon, was asking her questions about the setup of this event. She seemed happy to share until she caught Mingyu out of the corner of her eye approaching Joshua and Jeonghan. Jihoon looked over as well.

“If we were in love-,” Jihoon said. “I wouldn’t do anything other than show my love off to as many people as I could. For the whole night.” Mina frowned. “Yet the second he laid eyes on someone else was the first time this entire night I saw his eyes light up.” Mina immediately walked away from Jihoon, who only grinned as he watched her approach the trio.

“What are you doing?” Mingyu asked Joshua, who seemed confused.

“Eating,” Joshua said, taking a bite of his cupcake. “What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be with your wife or something?”

“She’s not my wife,” Mingyu said again. Just then, he felt a hand wrap around his arm and he looked over. Mina smiled.

“Yet.” She said. She caught sight of you and smiled, reaching out and pulling you into a hug. “Oh, I’m so glad you guys could make it!” She said happily.

“Yeah…” you said, only offering up a weak hug in response. You looked her over, admiring every detail of her dress, long-sleeved and floor-length, laced and beaded along her chest and around her wrists. “You look stunning.”

“Thank you~.” She beamed. “I was going to wear something else since this is my wedding dress but I loved it too much I had to wear it twice.” She giggled a bit. “I’m so glad to see the two of you come together! You both match.” She motioned to Joshua’s tie, and he only grinned. You felt a pit sink in your stomach as you looked down at your hands in embarrassment. Mingyu seemed put off as well, putting his hands in his pockets.

The awkward silence only fell over the four of you for a short time, before Joshua passed you a plate. Your hands gripped it, looking over at him as he smiled. “Let’s get something to Jeonghan, okay? He must be wasting away at the table.” A small smile formed on your lips, nodding. Joshua turned to a couple of the night. “Well, see you.” he waved, before leading you away. Mingyu opened his mouth but stopped himself when he saw Joshua and you headed back to your table on the other side of the hall. He clicked his tongue.

Mina nodded, waving you off as Joshua led you away, a plate of food in hand. Mingyu turned to watch you leave, but Mina redirected his attention almost immediately. “I’m sorry, Mingyu.” She said. He looked down at her.

“Why?” Mingyu asked.

“She came with Joshua.” Was all she uttered. “And Jeonghan.” With Mingyu stunned to silence, she led him off to mingle with some other guests.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

The rest of the night continued much of the same way. Every time Mingyu got a chance, he slithered over to talk to you. However, each time, you were entangled in the shenanigans of Joshua and Jeonghan. One or both of them had you in their clutches the entire night, dancing with you, feeding you, and keeping your attention as they spoke to you at the table. If Mingyu tried to approach, he was sent away by someone: Minnie, Seungkwan, or Hoshi, encouraging him to ‘go back to his wife’.

One final time he approached, Joshua and Jeonghan looked over. You were giggling at something they were saying, before following their gaze.

“Mingyu.” Joshua said.

“Don’t you have a wife to be attending to?” Jeonghan asked.

“Guys.” A deep, annoyed sigh escaped Joshua and Jeonghan’s lips. “Enough. I can come over here for a few seconds and-.”

“No, you can’t,” Jeonghan said simply. Mingyu frowned. “We all care very deeply about the sanctity of marriage. So, if you’re here-.”

“It could lead you to something very unpure,” Joshua added.

“And we want no part of that.” The duo’s comment in unison made Mingyu’s blood boil, and he finally looked directly at you.

“I want-.” He stopped. “I need to talk to you. Alone.” You chewed your inner cheek. “Without these two parrots sitting on your shoulder.”

“Hey.” They pouted in unison.

“See?” You looked between them, finally standing up.

“Okay.” You said. “Let’s go, then.” Mingyu, relieved, motioned you out towards one of the back doors, leading back into the hotel. Joshua and Jeonghan caught him looking around the room, and they followed his gaze each time. Mina was talking with friends, the fathers were doing the same on the other side of the room, back turned to their table the same way they had since Jihoon’s comment earlier in the evening. Mingyu led you off, and Joshua and Jeonghan immediately gave each other a high-five.

“Parrots?” Jeonghan asked, an amused look on his face. Joshua shrugged, also unable to hide his grin.

“Squawk?” The both of them had to laugh a bit.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶So Close Yet So Far🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

Mina was saying goodbye to her friends just as a slow song was coming on, and they encouraged her to find Mingyu so they could enjoy it together. A lovestruck smile formed on her face as she did so, turning to the crowds of people. She scanned left. No Mingyu. She scanned right. No Mingyu. She looked up at the seating area they were designated, to see if he was eating. No Mingyu. She felt her frown get deeper each second that passed without Mingyu in her sight.

“Looking for someone?” She turned to see Jihoon standing by her side.

“I don’t see Mingyu. Is he with you guys?” Jihoon shook his head.

“No,” he said simply. “But, now that you mention it, there’s one other person I just realized hasn’t been here in a few minutes.” Mina looked around once more, her eyes finally landing on your table. Joshua and Jeonghan were chatting with Seungkwan, laughing without a care in the world. Minnie and Hoshi were at the food table, scoping out the best snacks to bring back and enjoy. Mina’s eyes widened, but Jihoon only chuckled. “I know exactly where they went.” He said. Offering her his arm, he shrugged. “Shall we?”

“I feel like you’ve been flirting with me all night.” She said.

Jihoon shook his head. “No. I’m not interested.” He assured. Mina could have sworn she saw Jihoons eyes hit the food table, where Hoshi had happened to be examining the finger foods with curiosity and wonder. “Trust me.” When he offered his arm one more time, and she refused, he couldn’t help but laugh. The duo made their way out one of the back doors and down the long, empty corridor. “Are you ready for your wedding? It’s going to be here faster than you think.”

“I know,” Mina said. “But I think we’ll be okay. My father said he’ll hire us a professional and everything.”

“That’s good.” Jihoon nodded. “Has Mingyu offered to help?” Mina looked over. “Flowers? Dinner? Cake flavor? Those are decisions both of you have to make.”

“He said he didn’t care about what we picked,” Mina said simply. “He said to pick whatever made me happy.” When Jihoon laughed, Mina looked over at him. “What? I think that’s nice of him.”

“It is.” He said.” But, when he was planning that party on Jeju Island, he made sure everything was perfect. So that she was happy. He didn’t ask anyone else to plan anything, just what to get. He did it because her happiness was his.” He shrugged. “I just figured his wedding would make him feel the same way.”

“Well, he…” Mina trailed off, unable to find the right response to such a comment. The duo continued walking down the hallway.

“He what?” Jihoon finally asked. Mina pressed her freshly done nails together, frowning. “He isn’t interested?” Jihoon sighed. “Maybe it’s more different than I thought. I’m sure as it gets closer, he’ll come around. Don’t worry.”

Mina nodded, just as the sound of voices finally hit her ears. She looked up towards them. It didn’t take long for Mina to identify the voices.

“So you just decided to parade yourself around with him after all of this?”

“You guys invited us. I don’t know what you wanted from me!” Mina stopped in her spot, turning her head where the voices were coming from. She stepped closer, keeping herself out of view through the crack in the door, but pressing herself against the wall to hear as clearly as she could. “I told you that you misunderstood what happened and you chose not to believe me! That’s not my fault!”

“It’s like you’re trying to tell me I was right!” Mina could hear the hurt in Mingyu’s voice and she frowned. “Do you think I’m happy watching him all over you? It’s making me fucking miserable!”

“Now you know how I feel!” You shouted back. “Mingyu, how do you think I felt coming to see you after a week only to see you engaged to someone else?! I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.”

Mina looked over to Jihoon, hoping to gauge his reaction. He simply had his head turned to the window, arms crossed over his chest. She turned back to the door. From her angle, she could only catch glimpses of Mingyu as he stepped in and out of view in the crack in the window, a fleeting glance every few seconds that showcased the panic and hurt in his eyes.

“Yeah, but I have never once made Mina think I actually liked her back.”

“Remember you said that when you look at that adorable little keychain you gave her right after you turned her down.” You snapped.

Mingyu scoffed. “Are you serious? Even so, I never actually confessed love to her!”

“I was drunk and I thought it was you, dumbass!” Impulse and anger caused you to extend your hands, shoving him back. Mingyu stepped back, into Mina’s vision. She thought back to the night she saw you and Joshua on the balcony, your arms wrapped around him as you slurred your confession into the night air. She watched as Jeonghan led you back inside, leaving a flustered Joshua alone to process his thoughts.

She heard you hum “Goodnight, Mingyu.” before you were led inside. She pressed her hands to her mouth, careful not to smudge her lipstick.

“I cannot believe you would believe one thing she says to you over me! Do I mean nothing to you?!” Mina watched as you pushed yourself into view, and Mingyu pushed out.

“Of course, you know that’s not true. That’s why….” Mingyu’s voice finally dropped and softened as he put his hands in his pockets. “That’s why this entire fucking thing hurts so much.”

“Well, it hurts me too! If you think I love Joshua after such a short time with no proof, then how the fuck do you expect me to look at all of this -.” your hands motioned to his tux. “-And not think you love her too!”

“I don’t love her! I love you.”

Mina turned her head, unable to hear anymore. She didn’t realize she was clenching her fist at that moment until those words were spoken. When she looked down, her nails had dug deep into her palm, leaving bright red indents. She felt her eyes watering, unsure if it was because of the pain that began tingling in her palm, or the words playing on a loop in her head. She looked at Jihoon, who stood silently against the wall, hands in the pockets of his pants and his eyes cast out the nearby window. He only looked over for a second. Your exhausted and pained voice pulled Mina’s attention back to the door when you muttered:

“I find that very hard to believe.”

The way Mingyu practically gasped your name made it seem like it was the last word he would ever utter in his life, so much pain and longing in that one word. Mina put her hands on her skirt, gripping the soft fabric of the dress she twirled in only days earlier with her friends. This day was supposed to be a fairytale.

And it has turned into a nightmare within mere moments.

Mina heard the sound of footsteps, and she immediately looked at Jihoon, frantic and anxious. She was hoping he would direct her on what to do to avoid being caught. Jihoon simply pointed around the corner, and that was where the duo darted. Mina poked her head just slightly to see you exit the room. Your eyes were red as you wiped them, seemingly unaffected if your make-up was smudged at all. She always watched as Mingyu followed right behind you, taking your arm and turning you in his direction one last time.

The entire area seemed to freeze at that moment, Mina waited with bated breath to see what Mingyu intended to do. His grip on your wrist was gentle, he could tell by how his fingers just barely wrapped around the skin, gently resting on it. You were looking up at him, both of you sharing an intense glare. A whole conversation seemed to be happening just through eye contact, a whole history being retold through silent, parted lips. Mina watched as Mingyu finally released your wrist, watching as you walked down the hallway, not a word spoken as the story seemingly came to an end.

If that were the case, why did Mina feel unsatisfied? Mingyu stood there, hands in his pockets, and Mina simply pressed herself to the wall, covering her mouth again. Mingyu turned himself around, and Mina took the moment to study his face.

His eyes were red, darting them from left to right, up and down. His hands sat in his pockets, fearing if he pulled them out, then he would immediately start losing them. His lips were constantly rubbed by his tongue, before it pressed against his cheek, or worked to suck in a part of his bottom lip, chewing the inside. It seemed every fiber of his being was trying to prevent Mingyu from bursting into hysterics at this moment, and it only made Mina envision what she wanted to see: his beaming smile and unwavering kindness. It was supposed to happen, tonight of all nights.

As tears pricked Mina’s eyes, and she tucked herself further around the corner, she allowed herself a few minutes to remember the first time she experienced that version of Mingyu, the first time she knew that she would fall hopelessly in love with him.

-----Last Christmas, 9 months prior-----

“Mina.” A voice called, alerting the young heiress from the drab conversation she was having. Her father stood in front of her, a young handsome man at his side. “This is Kim Mingyu. He’s Mr. Kim’s son, from the law firm.”

“Hello.” Mingyu smiled, and Mina immediately felt her heart swell. She stuck her hand out in his direction, which Mingyu swiftly took as the duo exchanged a kind handshake.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you. Your father was such a big help.”

“Thank you,” Mingyu said, seemingly flustered in his father’s stead for the compliment. Mina watched her father slink away as the duo got to talking.

“Have you been in Japan long?” Mina asked curiously.

“Ah, no.” Mingyu shook his head. “This is my first time, actually. And we’re only here until tomorrow morning.” When Mina frowned, she saw Mingyu chuckle a bit. “I only seemed to come for this party. Which is amazing, by the way.”

“My father always hires the best party planners.” She pointed out. “Our last party was on the top of the company building.” Mingyu’s eyebrow arched in interest. “It doesn’t sound amazing, but the lighting and the way they decorated, you would think it was a club or something.” Mingyu grinned.

“I wish I come.”

“I’ll invite you next time, too,” Mina said sweetly. Mingyu nodded, his cheeks tinting pink as he hid it behind his glass. It only made Mina smile more. “Are you also studying to be a lawyer?”

“Yes,” Mingyu said. “I just finished my second year.” Mina nodded. “And yourself?”

“I’ve been raised to take over Father’s business since my mother first got pregnant.” She laughed a bit. “I didn’t think I’d be a good fit at first, being the first girl ever to take on the role, but-.”

Mingyu took her words right out of her mouth when he said: “You’ll do well.” Where others might be put off by the interruption, it made Mina smile.

The duo's conversation was interrupted by another male, one Mina had known for years. He showed up to every party, his father inheriting an entire conglomerate of entertainment businesses over half of Asia and acquiring even more after he married his actress wife. He slid up beside Mina, his red cheeks immediately making her step aside. His hand jerked a bit, a bit of champagne sloshing out of the glass and hitting Mina’s arm. She shook it off.

“Mina. Who’s this? Are you cheating on me?” He pointed to Mingyu. Mina immediately felt flustered, shoving him.

“In your dreams, Taro. Don’t you have much more desperate ladies to bother?”

“Only you, forever my love.” Taro grinned a bit. Mina scoffed, turning her head and taking a long sip of her drink. When she heard Taro step closer to her, she felt a figure step in front of her. She looked over, only to be met with a broad back and set of shoulders in a dashing tuxedo. “Eh? Who are you?”

“Kim Mingyu. The guy who was having a conversation with her before you so rudely interrupted.”

“Hm? T-that’s pretty rude the way you’re talking to me. I’m definitely older than you. Didn’t your father teach you to respect your elders?” Mingyu didn’t seem to be phased by the man’s slurred threats, only cocking an eyebrow in disinterest.

“I would go now.” He said simply. The man, confused and stunned to silence, watched Mingyu motion Mina to the opposite side of the party room. “Shall we?” he asked. Mina nodded, following him. When they heard Taro attempt to show in their direction, Mina’s attention was instead taken by Mingyu, who simply asked: “So, your major.” Before leading the duo into a new conversation.”

The rest of the party remained the same. Mina spent most of the night at Mingyu’s side, long after Taro was drunkenly shuffled out by the staff of the party. Mingyu kept her spirits high, making sure her drink was full and her smile was stuck on her face. It was comforting being in the orbit of this stranger who was both beautiful and kind. There didn’t seem to be a bad bone in his body, and Mina had made sure to check every angle when she had to change throughout the night. As it drew to a close, Mingyu being called by his father to meet him in the car, he looked at Mina.

“Get home safe.” He said.

“You too.” She said. “Have a safe flight home. I hope to see you back in Japan soon.” Mingyu smiled.

“I’ll consider it if there’s as many sights I missed as you claim.”

“Tokyo Tower alone is worth it.” She made sure to say one last time. Mingyu laughed, before bowing her head.

“Goodnight, Ms. Myoui.” He said. Mina nodded her head as well, waving him off as he jogged to his father’s side. She watched the duo chat for a minute, blushing when his father pointed in her direction. She offered one more wave to him, which Mingyu kindly returned, and the duo exited the room. It wasn’t long after that Mina was led out as well by one of her father’s workers, heading to the car that was ready to take them back to the house.

“It seems I made a good decision introducing you to Kim Mingyu, hm?” her father asked. Mina nodded, pressing her fingers together shyly. “The two of you were together almost the entire night.”

“Where we?” she asked, as though she didn’t know. Her father laughed at the sight of his daughter’s lovestruck face.

“That looks like the face of a young lady in love.” Mina gasped, only allowing her father to laugh once more as the car drove into the night.

Mina coughed into her hand, finally feeling tears escaping her eyes as she snapped them back to the present day. She looked over at Jihoon, who simply stayed silent. He couldn’t look at her, as if she would want him too. When she looked back down the hall, you and Mingyu had already disappeared.

“Are you okay?” He finally asked, making her look over. Mina wiped her eyes, shaking her head.

“I don’t know.” She said softly. “I thought this would all work out. I thought it would be okay after this. I really….”

Jihoon watched as Mina raked a hand through her hair, allowing some of the curls to tug so hard on her head that they loosened. He simply began the journey back to the dining hall, hoping that she would get the hint and follow. It took a second, but her heels clacked to his side. He could hear a few sniffles, and he simply said: “Pull yourself together before you go back in.”

“How did it go?” Jeonghan asked when you sat down in your seat. You took a deep breath, shaking your head. Immediately, he saw your eyes pricking with tears. “Hey…”

“I don’t think anything was solved.” You said simply. “This entire thing was a waste. He doesn’t believe me and he’s made his decision.” You said softly. “It’s too late. Mina’s won.” Joshua leaned back in his seat, biting his lip. You reached your hand up to your collarbones, the one cool and decorated area feeling newly deserted and lifeless as you felt for where a pink gemstone one sat. Feeling your chest well up with painful memories, you looked at Joshua. Then you looked at Jeonghan. “I want to go home…” you begged softly.

Mingyu reentered the room right as you were getting up to leave. Joshua and Jeonghan were at your side. He watched as the rest of your friends offered to go as well, most likely opting for relaxing the rest of the night away together rather than staying here. However, you shook your head, seeming to encourage the rest of them to stay here. Mingyu stood out of sight, hands crossed as he studied you. Even from a distance, he could sense the pain and exhaustion written all over your face. He was just about to approach you when he saw another figure enter from another entrance. He looked over, watching as Mina strolled in, Jihoon behind her. He cocked an eyebrow, a bit confused.

He didn’t seem to have a lot of time to think about where the two could have gone together, as he saw Mina make a beeline for you. “Oh, fuck…” he grumbled to himself, finally finding the courage - or maybe the dread of what was coming - to make his way over as well.

Just as you were about to exit the table, you heard a voice behind you. You turned, watching as Mina approached you. You could tell by her expression that she was frazzled, just as much as you. However, the closer she got, the angrier you felt yourself growing. What did she have to be upset about? She called your name, but you simply stepped back.

“Don’t…” you said quickly. Mina blinked, frowning. “Don’t talk to me. You have ruined everything.”

Return to K-Pop Masterlist Return to 97/98/99 Line

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[deluwoo]

Part 1 of ???: You, a kitten, and a boy

pairing ▸ joshua x gn!reader genre ▸ fluff, slow-burn, mutual pining warnings ▸ school, malnourished animal (kitten) wc ▸ 674

kyrin's notes ▸ I'm planning to make this a multiple part series, but i'm not too sure how many parts i should write. Let's just see where you and Josh's story goes! pls enjoy :>

It was an overcast day. The sky was gray and the air was cool and heavy. You were walking home from school when you saw a kitten, lying down on the bench at the bus-stop. You could see its ribs, its stomach bloated with worms and fleas all over its fur. You couldn’t help but feel sorry for it. Before continuing on your way, you gave it a bit of the luncheon meat you weren’t able to eat and some water.

The next day, on your way home, you noticed that the kitten was still there. Luckily, you had some food to give it, so you gave it your leftovers and some milk. Day by day, that became your routine. On your way home, you would leave some food and water for the little kitten. Until that day. Waking up late, you forgot to pack lunch, so you just ate the food from the school canteen. Of course, the servings weren’t very big; that’s why you had to pack your own lunch everyday. While walking home, you were feeling bad for not being able to give anything to the kitten, until you saw him.

He was feeding the kitten. You had seen him at school before, you were even in the same batch. Racking your brains, you tried to remember his name. Joshua. That’s it. The shy boy who sat a row in front of you, to the right. Come to think of it, you’d never really heard him talk, and here he was, petting and feeding the kitten you’d come to consider your own.

Joshua didn’t even seem to notice you, engrossed as he was with making sure the kitten ate. That is, until you accidentally stepped on a twig, catching his attention. He suddenly looked up at you. In that moment, you couldn’t help but think of how much like a deer trapped in headlights he looked. Fortunately, his bus arrived and he hurriedly climbed onto it. The very next day, you saw him at school. Of course, like always, you ignored each other. Although, today felt slightly different. Before, when you ignored each other, it was always because both of you were busy with your respective friend groups, or schoolwork, or other things. Today, however, you found it surprisingly difficult to ignore him. You really wanted to talk to him for some reason. What would you guys even talk about? You don’t know his interests, and he doesn’t know yours. So, you went on with your day. Good thing you remembered to pack your own lunch today, so you can feed the not-so-skinny-anymore kitten. 

As you were changing your shoes, you felt your friend tap your shoulder. “What?” You asked.

“Why’s Joshua coming here? We don’t even talk to him.”

You looked up, and there he was, awkwardly making his way to you. You stood up fully and lifted your eyebrow. When Josh stopped in front of you, neither of you could keep eye contact. Then you heard his quiet, kind sounding voice. “Good thing you remembered to bring extra food today. I noticed you forgot yesterday, so I fed the kitten for you.” What? “Oh. Um, yeah. Thanks for yesterday, I guess.” You reply, slightly confused.

You notice his ears reddening and he quickly goes back to his friend group. “What was that??” Your friend asks. 

“I don’t know either, to be honest.” You reply.

That awkward (and admittedly adorable) interaction told you a lot. He knows you feed the kitten everyday, he knew you forgot your lunch yesterday, and he knows you made sure to pack lunch today. 

You shake your head and get on with your day. When you get to the bus-stop, you feed the kitten, like always. You can’t help but think of Joshua. How did he know that you feed the kitten everyday? He noticed that… he noticed. Before now, you were always a passive presence in each other's lives. But now, you're finding it a bit hard to keep him out of your head.

please reblog, laloves ©kyrin © DELUWOO – 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞.

[celestialpearls]

5:12 PM

You and Joshua needed a vacation desperately and he couldn’t agree more. The months before the public holidays always get busy for the both of you in your respective field of work. So, this announcement was a pleasant surprise on your part, courtesy of your boyfriend.

Maybe it was possible to fall for your lover all over again for such meticulous planning.

 “You just sit there and look pretty, love. I’ll even take your pictures when we arrive,” he promised. And gosh, you could jump his bones from how sweet he is.

He’s lying down on the beach chair, the light wind and the Nipa Hut’s shade a balm to your sun kissed skin. After taking your own photos, you wanted nothing more than to just be with him. If you could attach yourself to him, you would. You know you’re usually not like this. But the rarity of spending time together when you’ve both been so preoccupied prompts the thought. 

“Done taking pictures, baby love?” Joshua beams up at you and intertwines your hands together. 

Wordlessly, you swing one leg over his waist and wriggle until you feel comfortable. He grunts in surprise but he instantly wraps an arm around you as you lay down on him, your ear to his chest. His other hand travels up and down your bare skin, his touches gentle yet it makes you shiver. 

Raising your head up, you mutter, “I love you.”

His eyes crinkle into crescent moons, “I love you more. How are you liking it here so far?” 

“It’s beautiful. And I’ve never felt so relaxed, thank you for indulging me.” 

He clicks his tongue, “the bare minimum.”

You snort and his happiness is contagious because you find your lips curving up at his chuckle. It’s followed by a comfortable silence as you lay your head back on his chest. You sigh contentedly as Joshua returns to drawing random shapes on your back while his other arm is draped loosely around your waist. 

At 5:12 PM, the day star begins her rest as nature’s dome is slowly engulfed in tangerine and merigold. It’s 5:12 PM and you have never felt more tranquil, laying there with your lover in absolute bliss. 

[hanniebanggi]

𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 • 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐠

warnings: vulgar words, angst, idk let me know, if i missed anything.

like a deja vu, you found joshua once again, infront of your doorstep. on his knees as you looked down on him. with tears cascading down his cheeks, and him begging for you to have him back.

"please, y/n. i don't know what to do without you, i will be good! i promise, please, love. take me back." he said as he looks up at you, holding your legs.

he's so pretty when cries, he is so pretty you missed all the red flags. you missed the way he cheated on you.

"aren't you the one who broke up with me because i'm too boring? too plain for you taste? why are you coming back over and over again, joshua? you're supposed to be with your little girlfriend, the one who made you feel so good?"

joshua's heart clenches as more tears come out of his eyes, his quivering lips pleading and apologizing.

for some reason, you like it when he keeps coming back to you, like a dog that's always coming back to its owner. you love seeing him suffer, and beg. maybe it's your hatred and people might say you're being so fucking bitter about it, but who cares? you're the one who got hurt, so you're the who will decide what to do with him.

"you're only coming back because you never felt important to her except when you dicking her down. you want me back because you know, i'll do anything for you. you're a fucking opportunist, joshua."

his violently shook his head, as the sound of his cries gets louder and louder, enough to bother your neighbors.

"i love you, y/n. i do, i dream of you even if i'm awake. i'm willing to do anything, please! you can hide me, or use me, i don't care. please, i just want to feel you."

"get out of my house."

"but-"

"get out!"

he flinched when you shouted at him, he stood up as he now towers you, with his head hanging low, he's looking at your hands. you don't have the tattoo you got with him, you removed it. and that's what kills him the most.

"love, i'm sorry." he said as if there's still something he wants to say, you shut the door in front of his face.

and there he was walking out of your house, knowing he'll come back over and over again. he will call you even though you never answered, he will text you everything he does everyday even though you never replied, but seeing that you left him in read makes his heart flutter, he thinks you still care, and that's enough for him.

he doesn't care if you take him back and only use him and hide him from everyone, he just wants to be with you, back in your arms.

[briefparadisewonderland]

they’re both so fineee 😍😍

[lovejoshua]

231222 Joshua on Weverse

[saythenamecabebe]

Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye

Warnings: Miscarriage, Depression? Angst? (Let me know if there's anything else I miss)

A|N: Based on the song, "Bigger Than The Whole Sky" by Taylor Swift. I hope you guys like this one, I've been having writers block 😭 I did cut some parts of the song out. I recommend hearing the song while reading this. Let me know what you guys think.

-------------------------------------------------------

No words appear before me in the aftermath

Salt streams out my eyes and into my ears

Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness

'Cause it's all over now, all out to sea

"I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. and Mrs. Hong."

For the past two hours, that sentence has been replaying in my head over and over. I sit up on the bed, and my hands begin to tremble. My breathing uneven, my head falls onto my hands, and my vision blurs. Uncontrollable sobs pour out, and then I feel the warm arms of my husband's wrap around me. Josha pulled me into him, and I could feel his body shake as he tried to control the tears that threatened to spill. He holds me close to his chest and kisses my temple. No words were said as we both sit there crying over our beloved loss.

"I'm so sorry, Josh," I cry out. "It's all my fault, I'm the reason why our baby isn't here with us. I'm the reason why we lose everything because everything I touch gets sick."

"Don't say that," he cries. "None of this is your fault. Do you hear me? None. This happens, and it's out of our control. So please, my love, do not blame yourself."

I wrap my arms around his neck as he tries to pull me impossibly closer to his chest, and tears consume us once more.

Did some bird flap its wings over in Asia?

Did some force take you because I didn't pray?

Every single thing to come has turned into ashes

'Cause it's all over, it's not meant to be

So I'll say words I don't believe

I entered the room where Joshua and I spent most of our time getting ready to welcome the new edition into our family. I walk up to the crib where our child would've slept in, tears spilling in the process, and I wipe them away. I look at the dresser where the ultrasound was displayed in a tiny frame. My fingers gently run across the wood and onto the photo.

'Mommy is so sorry, baby. It's my fault that you are not with us. I haven't had the chance to at least hold you in my arms that were supposed to protect and love you, my little angel, but I do love you so much.'

Tears stream out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I hold the photo in my hands and place a kiss onto it. I put the photo in it's place and walk out of the room. I close the door and head to my own. I lay in bed as the tears continue to fall. I feel the bed dip behind me and I'm pulled into Josh's chest. I could feel him place kisses on the back of my head. I turn in his arms and look at him, eyes red, and swollen. I wipe his tears away as he does for me. I place a kiss onto his plump soft lips and rest my forehead against his.

"I know what you're thinking, and it's not your fault, love. They know it isn't your fault either."

I sigh and nod my head as a silent okay. He pulls me to his chest once more. My eyes flutter shut and sleep engulfs me.

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

You were bigger than the whole sky

You were more than just a short time

And I've got a lot to pine about

I've got a lot to live without

I'm never gonna meet

What could've been, would've been

What should've been you

A month has passed since the horrible news, our family and friends would visit us. Seungcheol and the rest of the members stopped by with food and drinks. I sadly smile and head to the kitchen. I pull out the drinks for them and place them onto the counter.

"Hi y/n," Jeonghan says.

"Hi Hannie."

"It's been awhile since I've seen you smile," he states, but carefully contines as if he doesn't want to cause me pain. "I hate to bring up this topic since I know it's very sensitive and fresh, but how do you really feel?"

I sigh as I look at the counter, I could feel the tears, but I keep them at bay. I slowly breathe in and out. I turn to look at Jeonghan and I see a mixture of worry and sadness in his facial features.

"I still feel as if it's my fault. Shua says it isn't, but I still can't help feel this way."

"I understand, I mean, no words will make you think or feel otherwise. But what he says is true, it's not your fault, and we all love you. We are all here for both of you. I hope you know that."

"I do, Hannie." I sadly smiled. "It's just hard to live knowing that I've never got to see their face, hold them, and give them kisses. It's not fair that I loved them so much, and they were taken away from me."

Jeonghan pulls me into a hug. "You'll both be okay. You both will have another opportunity one day to be able to love another child of our own again. It's going to take time to heal these wounds, but we are here for you." He says once more as he pulls away. I smile at Jeonghan and wipe my tears.

"Thank you, Hannie."

"Let me help you with the drinks."

He grabs a couple of bottles, and I do the same. I entered the living room and found the members spread out on the floor passes plates and food. I smile and go to sit next to Josh. Josh looks up at me and smiles but fades away once he sees my face.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Everything's fine," I said. "I was just talking with Jeonghan."

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asks once again.

"Yes," I say with a smile.

Josh looks at me again and smiles. He places a kiss on my head and pulls me close to him. The rest of the night is filled with laughter and smiles.

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

You were bigger than the whole sky

You were more than just a short time

And I've got a lot to pine about

I've got a lot to live without

I'm never gonna meet

What could've been, would've been

What should've been you

White roses fill the backyard garden. Family surrounding both Joshua and I as we held a small black box containing a yellow onesie that would've been our little angel's. Tears rolled down my face, Joshua held out a tissue for me, and I dapped it onto my cheeks and let out a shaky sigh. I look back at Joshua and let out a small thank you. He holds my hand and places a gentle kiss on my knuckles.

Joshua and I walked up to the sliver stand that was surrounded by the roses. I kiss my fingers and place it onto the headstone. 'Our Beloved Child, Angel Hong'. Sobs spill out and go on my knees with the help of Joshua. He soon follows, and we hold the box and place it onto the ground. Hands grabbed the soil, and we placed flower seeds once it was completely buried. I hold my face in my hands as I continue to sob, and I feel my mother help me back onto my feet. She holds me close to her and places kisses on my head. My dad rubbed my back, trying to soothe me. My siblings stand close to me as they cry. I lift my head up from my mom's shoulder and look towards Joshua. His mom holds him, his uncle handing him a tissue and his members looking at the ground.

Joshua looks at me and lets go of his mother as we make our way towards each other. He wraps his arms around my waist, and I wrap mine around his neck. His face buried in the crook of my neck, and he placed a kiss. We stayed there for a while, holding each other, he pulls away and placed a kiss on my lips.

"Our Angel will be watching over us now," he says. "My love, I haven't said this in a while with everything that has been happening, but I love you so much."

Tears well up in my eyes, and I blink them away.

"They are now in heaven resting," I say. " I love you so much, too."

I placed another kiss on his plump lips, but we soon pulled away and headed inside the house where our family was waiting for us.

"Wait... Josh, I want to do something," I tell him.

He looks back and nods his head. We walk back to the spot where Angel's headstone is at. We stand side by side as silence consumes us. I take a step towards the stone and place my hand on it.

"Angel," I start. "Our sweet little Angel, though we will never get the chance to meet or know you. Just know we will never forget the moments we had with you when you were still in my belly. Those midnight snacks you wanted that your dad would get for us, but what I want to say is we love you so much, baby."

I place a kiss onto the stone and backed away. My hand finds Joshua's, and I hold onto it tightly. I wipe my tears away and look at Joshua. I wipe away his tears, and he smiles at me. I kiss Joshua's lips, and we make our way inside the house.

'Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, our sweet little Angel'

[hxtwasabi]

Eu quero voar até você, como um vagalume

Kim Minkyung/Roa como Shin Moonhyun

[inmynewworld]

Joshua for 'Arena Homme+'. ♡

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