#Jin Guangshan is soooo angry because what do you mean Wei Wuxian. notorious flirt. is Not a dom top!

[kaptainkoalaoshiz]

Wangxian plot bunny I may or may not write, but I encourage people to write as well 🫡

Wei Wuxian: I have an excellent idea for people to leave us alone.

Wen Qing: oh boy...

Wei Wuxian: don't you wanna know what I got?

Wen Qing: stupider?

Wei Wuxian: booo! Anyway. I'm gonna send this message at the Great Sects and they'll be so disgusted they'll leave us alone!

Wen Qing: "if you want to keep the Yilling Laozu from doing horrible, ghost cultivation, then send someone as a sacrifice to have nasty, disrespectful sex with him. Those who exceed his expectations will gain everything he owns".

Wei Wuxian: See? 100% guarantie of success! Nobody will take the offer and if they do, I just say it wasn't good enough! Win-win for me!

Wen Qing: so you got stupider. Alright. Scrape that idea

Wei Wuxian:...

Wen Qing: what. Did. You do.

Wei Wuxian: I already sent it to the major sects...

Wen Qing: I swear tO GOD!!

Meanwhile, at the big sects:

At Yunmeng jiang: the message was ripped apart by Jiang Cheng because he knows Wei Wuxian 's brand of stupid and isn't going to fall for it. Also, not willing to send someone to Yilling, like, think of their reputation!

At Qinghe Nie: the message was also ripped apart by Nie Mingju because he thinks Wei Wuxian is mocking them by calling out their righteousness. They're not sending anyone either, but Nie Huaisang 's brain is going "??.. !"

At Lanling Jing: there's a huge debate about which prostitute to send him, how much they'll have to pay said prostitute to keep the Yilling Laozu content and get their hand on the Yin Tiger Tally without sacrificing too much on their side. Everyone is shooting everyone in the foot. Nothing concrete is done.

At Gusu Lan: the message was ripped apart and everyone is shaking their heads at the shamelessness of the Yilling Laozu, they're too "above" to even consider sending anyone. Lan Qiren, knowing Wei Wuxian 's brand of stupid (same as his mother, hmpf!) is nearly ripping his beard off from how mocking the boy is! Lan Xichen is sighing at yet another proof Wei Wuxian has fallen because of his cultivation. He goes to tell his brother not to do anything rash but Lan Wangji is already gone. Oops.

A month later, Lan Wangji comes back with a gaggle of old people and a child. And the Yilling Laozu, dragging his feet and trying to escape. Lan Wangji says "excuse me." at the sentries before walking to the sides in the forest for.. about 45 minutes? and when he comes back, Wei Wuxian is disheveled and loopy. He looks like he's been mauled by a fierce beast. The rest of the Wen group look exhausted and used to it, wishing they could be set somewhere so they don't have to endure their Yilling Laozu being ravished (enthusiastically) by Hanguang-jun four times a day. Wen Yuan is just happy Wei-gege and Rich-gege made up.