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juwibaby · 7 years ago

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Blessed amidst the mourning period (Oct 12, 2017)

I woke up today with my sister calling for me from downstairs, telling me something about our papa. I was able to sleep for about three hours only before that and woke up with a really bad headache. I sat up on my bed, took my sister’s phone and read my brother’s message. Bad news. My father was rushed to the hospital, had two cardiac arrests, and was in the ICU.

I went blank. I called my brother right away to know what happened. My sister, nephew and I prayed, asking God for healing, for an extension of papa’s life, but still Thy will be done. We messaged our friends and church family right away for more prayers. But I was still trying to ignore the thought that this was already it, it was time. I was still hoping for things to turn around and my father getting better but after a few minutes, another cardiac arrest and after a little while.. papa was gone.

I tried to recall what our last conversation was, even checked my phone for messages. The last words I told him on the phone was I love you pa. That was the last phone conversation we’ve had.

My sister rushed upstairs, hugged me and was crying uncontrollably, telling me that she wasn’t able to talk or see him again. I was crying too.. I couldn’t understand what I was feeling though. I felt like going blank, at the same time, so many things going on in my head… what do i do? how should i react? what do i tell my sister? do i let go and just cry or should i be strong for the family? At the same time, there was also a sense of peace knowing papa already accepted Jesus in his life last early this year. So, I wasn’t exactly worried either.

Don’t get me wrong, when the news finally sunked in, I was heartbroken, I missed papa so much. I broke down when a friend called me and just continuously sobbed while I was driving that day. I even got lost in the city I grew up with, cause I just kept making the wrong turns.

But I remembered the time when my sister and I were in Manila earlier this year. We had the chance to share the gospel to papa, prayed with him as he accepted Jesus Christ in his life as his personal Lord and Saviour. Before that trip, for some reason, I felt that God had a mission for me and really asked my Dgroup family to pray for our trip. What that was, I didn’t know until we were in Manila and things happened. After that talk with papa, I had the feeling that perhaps God is taking my father soon.. it was just a matter of when and how. I have always banked on God’s promises about me and my household being saved so I was just waiting for God’s timing. In His time.

So, the funeral place papa was at just so happened that CCF was also just a minute walk away! I was kinda worried that my sister and I wouldn’t be able to attend service last Sunday but God apparently had that covered from the very start! Before the service, I prayed to God to just really open my heart as I just really wanted to praise and worship Him with all my heart that time. First few lyrics and my tears were like waterfalls. I couldn’t contain my emotions at all but not because of hurt, but more of gratefulness and happiness. All I could think of was how faithful and amazing God is - giving papa the opportunity to be saved.. truly saved. Faithful, Powerful, Amazing God.

We also had difficulty finding a place that was just nearby. We checked so many places last Friday but decided to sleep on it and just check again the next day. Next day comes and walah! - we found a super nice place, affordable, safe, just 12 minutes walk away from papa’s place and with a super accommodating caretaker :-) I praise God for amidst the sadness, mourning and grief, He never ceased to let me see His Hands at work. He is not just in the big things, but also my God on the little things PLUS so much love from my Dgroup family… from worries on the funeral plan to the plane tickets handling, to accommodation, and even on daily meals. God never fails to provide!! my Provider, Refuge, Comforter and Friend.

I know this is not the end but I am just really super amazed on how God is working in my life right now with my father’s passing. How He has kept His promises and will continue to do so. How He never fails to provide for my needs. How He lifts me up in times when I really need it the most. How He continues to remind me that all things work out for the good for those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose and that there is nothing to worry about - He is Sovereign, in control and will take care of everything. How to be patient for He makes all things beautiful in His time. How He has given me strength and peace amidst all the emotions going on around me. How to just continue being rooted in His Word and continue to shine for Him, share about the gospel and spread the LOVE and to continue to be a blessing to others!!!

I end with the song “Jesus is the same” by Israel ^ New Breed

Faithful, powerful, wonderful Jesus is, beautiful, merciful, supernatural Jesus is, He’s highly, mighty, worthy Jesus is, Gracious, patient, generous And there is no other name that is greater than Jesus Jesus the same, yesterday, today and forevermore No other name, that can save, deliver and restore, oh-oh-oh Jesus the same, yesterday, today and forevermore There is no other name that is greater than Jesus

Click HERE for link to lyrics and audio

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