#Jess- as much as I adore him!- was sometimes either too distracted or too worried about protecting himself

[stellaluna33]

Ok, so here's one of MY unpopular Gilmore Girls opinions: I don't believe that Rory only stayed with Dean to keep everyone else (including her mother) happy. I don't. I think she did love him IN SOME WAY. Was she "IN Love" with him? It's hard to say. But she genuinely cared about him, enjoyed his company enough to want to be friends with him after breaking up, and... I do think there were some aspects of their relationship that she genuinely liked and wasn't sure she wanted to give up. I know a lot of people hate Dean (I'm not fond of him myself), but this isn't about MY preferences or YOUR preferences, it's about RORY'S, and when I look at the actual show without filtering it through my own wishes, that's what it looks like to me, especially given the way she kept comparing Dean to Jess after she started dating him. Rory wouldn't have done that unless there were parts of that relationship she missed! According to what Rory herself said, she LIKED the way Dean made her feel cared for and important. Even his jealousy and clinginess, which did bother her, could be explained away because they were "symptoms" of how "important" she was to him! He WANTED her! He wanted her more than Rory wanted him, actually, and sometimes? Sometimes that's an intoxicating thing, especially when you HAVEN'T always felt wanted. He made plans and took her out and made her feel "spoiled" (Rory's words!), and that made her feel special! She may not have been "in love" with him in a grand, all-consuming, passionate kind of way, but she liked "being his girlfriend" a lot of the time.

This is why I think she wavered so much when she did fall in love with Jess. Because despite the things she would gain from choosing Jess (the all-consuming, passionate kind of love, deep connection and companionship), she would be giving up (and hurting!) someone she felt a lot of affection for! And also giving up the ease of dependability, familiarity, and yes, someone who fit neatly into the life and relationships she already had. I think she was almost prepared to do so when Jess moved back to Stars Hollow "for her," but when he appeared to move on so quickly with Shane, it made her doubt whether Jess wanted her as much as she wanted him, and that felt dangerous. Why give up someone who clearly DID want her, to chase after someone who might not?

Yeah, anyway... I feel like I've wandered a bit, but the bottom line is: I really do think it was only a little bit about pleasing her mom, and a lot to do with how Dean was good at making her feel wanted, even if it was to a toxic degree.

[electricbluebutterflies]

Jess/Leto + featherlight kisses over their entire face

Late-era, PG-ish, also on ao3.

It’s overwhelming sometimes, the depth of their dynamic.

He should be used to it by now, so many years in, but if anything the fascination has changed form. They have grown together, and sometimes he is unsure which of them is the tree and which is the vine and-

There is always that voice in the back of his mind convinced that all of this is a damning mistake, but he’s gotten good at ignoring it.

These are all frightfully deep thoughts for an unnecessarily early morning with nothing that needs done for hours yet, a rare opportunity to try to be a better partner. He knows his weaknesses; he also knows that, for reasons he will never understand, she is much more patient than he’d once expected. She makes her displeasure clear every once in a while, but her breaking points are harder and harder to find and-

It still feels like a pleasant surprise to see her curled up on the other side of their bed, even though it’s been years since she retreated in the night. She fits so well in this world, cold but still trying to spark, still trying to-

“Your mind is too loud.”

Eyes still closed, body still angled away from him, oh he adores her.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” he says, because he always does, because they’re both too prone to it and often with good reason but he’s seen how she doesn’t let things go and-

“Then stop. Too early.”

This, on the other hand, is unlike her. She is normally talented at self-deprivation, some of which he suspects their merged routines provide an excuse for; she waits up into the quiet of night if need be and still disappears in the early morning for tasks unknown, and the one time he said she looked tired provoked the kind of fight that results in behavioral changes, and-

If he were younger or perhaps actively suicidal, he would say something about her currently unusual behavior, but he is neither of those things and… anything she does that feels more normal is to be cultivated and ignored into routine. Not that he’d ever set out to tame her, not that he would ever want to, but he knows what they are together is outside her programming, he knows how often she hesitates with their son, he knows-

He waits for her body to turn towards him, waits to see her sharp eyes before he touches her. If she were uninclined, she’d maneuver herself away; as it is, a few face kisses are not something he feels like he needs to ask permission for, no intention of going further, just adoring her, just-

She makes a sound that is as close as she ever comes to a laugh, and everything is alright. There is so little softness in her, but he’d like to think he brings it out and-

“You’re in a mood,” she murmurs, as sweet as she ever is.

“Is that a problem?”

“Depends on where it goes.”

“Not much more than this. We don’t…”

They’re not good at the little sweet moments, even now. The absolute trust-falls, yes; intimacies, like extensions of each other, familiar and at least on his side effortless; tiny claimed moments of affection, not so much. Such things are not in either of their natures, and perhaps this is what happens when two people who are unsure how to love crash into each other anyways, perhaps-

“Do you want me to calm you, love?”

Her offers always catch him off-balance, even as innocent as this, her cold fingers already finding the pressure points on his wrists. Usually her timing is impeccable, but on occasion-

“Not right now. Just distracted, not…”

Overwhelmed by her, always. The determination and the beauty of her, fierce even now, impossible to question and even harder to ignore and he-

“Did I do something?”

Saved him, he thinks sometimes. Brought vibrant color and a little chaos into what would have been a very apathetic life otherwise. All the challenges and the little things she forgets to tell him and-

“No,” he says instead, because the last time he started listing reasons he loves her she went unusually quiet for a solid week and-

More face kisses seem like an easier way forward than any attempt at conversation. They have time, and she’s cute with her eyelids fluttering in response, and he’s probably the only human being who’s ever thought of her as cute and lived to do it again and this is the most proof he’ll ever have that she can’t read his mind in any detailed way and she’s at least choosing not to alter him too much and-

“I like when you’re sweet like this,” she murmurs. “I don’t…”

“You could be more demanding.”

“You like that I’m not.”

She’s not wrong, but there’s low-maintenance and then there’s whatever her damage is, strict with herself but the bar is on the floor for anyone she interacts with and-

“Still. You’re an easy woman to please.”

That is apparently enough to make her recoil, to turn away and put her hair up before her feet hit the floor. His own schedule is more fluid today; hers may not be, whatever projects she’s found for herself that he doesn’t ask about because they’re always some combination of boring and improper for him to know too many details, whatever plans she may have for their son’s training, whatever-

“You created me,” she says, leaning in for one proper kiss anyways. “You should enjoy what that got you.”

He does, he’d say if he thought she’d listen. More than anything.

Instead… routines are routines, the day is just starting, and maybe, maybe something will happen to dim the mental image of his partner’s version of happiness. Hopefully not a catastrophe, but right now he almost thinks he’d take it.

[daniwritessometimes]

Between Friends, Chapter Four

    Zoe wanted nothing more than to go back to that dark corridor and take Susan’s face between her hands and…

    No, I definitely need to stop that. I shouldn’t have even implied—

    “Zo, are listening to me?” Naomi asked. She seemed quite irritated, so she’d said it more than once.

    “I’m sorry, Nome. I’m tired.” Zoe yawned to punctuate it.

    Naomi sighed. “I’m sure you’re mostly tired of hearing about everyone getting married. And you still have no suitors.”

    “Because I scare them all away.” Zoe propped her head on her hand and looked across to the other bed.

    She and her twin had decided once they left the nursery to share a room until they were both married. They had tried a few times to have separate rooms, especially when they got into a spat. But they always seemed to be drawn back together.

    “You don’t scare them away,” Naomi argued, “They just weren’t right for you.”

    Oh, how right you are. But not in the way you think. Zoe reached up and turned off the lamp that rested between their beds. “Blow out that candle and go to sleep, Nome.”

    Naomi did as Zoe requested. They were both quiet for a while. Zoe was nowhere near sleep. And Naomi always took forever to settle in, even when she was particularly tired.

    Naomi’s voice spoke through the darkness. “Reginald does have a brother who is looking to wed as well.”

    “I remember,” Zoe sighed. “And I also remember that I don’t like him. I won’t marry just because someone wants to marry and I am the closest female.”

    “So you will marry for love?”

    It was something they had spoken of so many times before. Naomi swore she would marry for love or not at all. Zoe was more practical. She agreed that love would be preferable, but barring that she would marry if she needed to wed for money. Or if a man were to need a wife for practical reasons. But not just because either of them was unmarried.

    “I honestly don’t know if I ever want to be married.” Zoe’s admission surprised even herself. She had never sat down and really thought about it. But after seeing Susan again after all these years and feeling the flood of emotions she always held back, she knew she would never be satisfied in a marriage to a man. Not that she could ever act on her feelings for Susan or any woman.

    “You cannot be serious!” Naomi gasped.

    “Why should I worry about marriage? You’re worrying enough for the both of us.” Zoe argued. “I’m worried too much about life after you leave me anyway. I’ll be just myself for the first time.”

    There was the sound of the bedsheets rustling and then Naomi pushed Zoe out of the way to make room. “I’m not leaving too far. And I know Reginald wouldn’t mind if you lived with us.”

    “Nome, there are things husbands and wives do that sisters cannot participate in.” Zoe said, wrapping her arms around her sister. “And from my understanding, they especially like to do those things a lot when they are first married. I would just be in the way.”

    “There are only so many hours in the night. Reginald is a lawyer. He will have to leave the house for that.” Naomi giggled. “How long do you suppose it will be before I have my first child?”

    Zoe rolled her eyes at the quick change of subject. “Within the year, I’d wager.”

    “It would put quite a damper on things, won’t it?”

    Naomi continued to rattle on about babies and motherhood and being a proper wife. Zoe was lulled to sleep by the sound of her sister’s voice. She was going to miss this the most.

****

    Zoe woke up with Naomi’s head on her shoulder. She was drooling profusely. Reginald would have a lot to learn.

    Zoe pushed her sister away and rolled out of bed. Once she was awake, she was ready for her day. Why sleep the day away when there was so much to do. So many books to read, so many stories to create herself. She rang the bell for her maid and went to the wardrobe to pick a dress for the day.

    The door opened and Naomi sat up sharply. “Why?”

    Zoe laughed. “Go back to sleep, Nome.” She walked across to her maid and led her back toward the wardrobe.

    Collette chuckled. “Your sister never wakes when you do.” Her voice was thick with a French accent. It was something that nearly drove Zoe to ruin every time she spoke.

    “My sister and I are very different with our sleep patterns.” Zoe pulled out a soft pink day dress. “She can never seem to get to sleep at night, so she has trouble waking in the morning. I have no trouble with either.”

    Collette helped Zoe to dress and put her hair up in a simple style, chattering the entire time in that adorable French accent. Perhaps she should have requested a hot bath. Or a cold one.

    “Thank you, Collette.” Zoe said softly.

    “You’re very welcome, Mademoiselle.” Collette dipped a little curtsy and left the room.

    Zoe heaved a sigh and turned to watch Naomi. She was now snoring softly. Zoe shook her head and got up to head down to breakfast.

    Her father was sitting there with his newspaper, but he wasn’t reading it. He just stared off, chewing on a piece of toast thoughtfully.

    “Good morning, Papa.” Zoe said as she filled her plate from the sideboard.

    “Good morning, darling.” Whatever Wulfric had been distracted by, he snapped out of it and came back to the present. “Your sister is still sleeping?”

    “Yes. Quite soundly.”

    Wulfric laughed softly. “She’s always snored. I remember when you were still babies in your bassinets, you slept so well and so quietly, but she was forever making all sorts of noises.”

    Zoe sat down beside her father. “It will be quieter here once she marries.”

    Wulfric smiled sadly. “It gets quieter every time one of you leaves.”

    “I don’t plan to leave any time soon.” Zoe sipped her tea.

    “Don’t stay if you want to go, darling.” He reached out and placed his hand on her wrist. “You never have to marry, I am not suggesting that. But I do want you to know you can travel the world. You can spend time with your siblings and their families. Or you can stay here and care for your dear Mama and Papa in our old age.”

    She laughed. “You aren’t anywhere near old, Papa.”

    “I am quite near sixty, my darling daughter. My father didn’t live much longer than that.” He looked up at the door. “Feeling better, love?”

    Zoe turned to see her mother standing in the doorway. Sarah nodded. She walked in and gently squeezed Zoe’s shoulder before dropping a kiss to the top of her head. She then leaned down and whispered something to Wulfric that Zoe couldn’t hear and kissed his cheek.

    “Not entirely my doing, love.” He commented.

    Zoe looked between her parents a moment. They loved each other so much. And they knew each other so very well that sometimes they didn’t even need to speak to be able to communicate. Zoe wanted that with someone, but at the same time it was frightening. How would she ever let herself be open in that way with anyone?

    Sarah sat down and made a face. “Perhaps I should have stayed with toast.” She pushed her plate away and picked up a piece of toast.

    “Are you all right, Mama?” Zoe asked, looking on her mother’s pale face.

    Sarah smiled. “Just the same trouble you and your other siblings always gave me at this point.”

    Zoe gave her a quizzical look.

    “Another baby.” Wulfric said proudly, practically vibrating in his seat. “Can you believe it?”

    “Oh, dear, Mama.” Zoe sighed. “This is a very trying time for another baby.”

    Sarah laughed. “Difficult to time these things, darling.” She reached over and squeezed Wulfric’s hand. “But don’t say anything to the others just yet. Naomi and Anthony are both preparing for their weddings and Alec and Jess will have another any day now. We’ll let this be ours for a while.”

    “Not even Naomi can know?” Zoe asked. “She still lives here, too.”

    Wulfric shrugged. “Your mother is the kind one, not wanting to step on any toes. I wanted to tell everyone.”

    “You got to tell Zoe,” Sarah admonished. “Let that be enough for now.”

    “Fine.” Wulfric grumbled.

    Anthony walked in, hair disheveled. “Good morning.” He poured himself a cup of coffee and swiped the newspaper from in front of Wulfric.

    “I wasn’t done with that.” Their father argued feebly.

    “Looked like you were to me.” Anthony settled in with a piece of toast, raising the paper in front of his face. “Not hungry this morning, Mama?” After a moment, he dropped the paper. “Not another one?”

    Wulfric let out a loud guffaw and slapped the table. “Now we have to tell everyone. Anthony can’t keep a secret to save his life.”

    Anthony picked up the newspaper again. “I’m glad I don’t have to write the letter to Alec myself.”

    Sarah heaved a sigh. “I’m not happy with you, Wulfric.”

    “You never are.” Wulfric slid his chair back from the table and quickly grabbed Sarah around the waist, pulling her onto his lap.

    Zoe watched as her mother feigned annoyance for a moment before she laughed and pressed her eyes into Wulfric’s neck.

    “You’re an evil man.” Sarah murmured.

    “You love me for it.” Wulfric held her close and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “And I love you with all my heart.”

    Zoe heaved a sigh. She would never know this kind of love. At least not as out loudly as her parents.

****

    Anthony held in his laugh about his lack of keeping secrets. If only his family knew the secret he kept…

    Another sibling. And just as he was starting his own family. Not that he really was starting a family, but gaining one that was already established. And what little time he’d spent with the Claymore children, he already liked them. They were all smart and funny. And adorable, especially little Teddy.

    Anthony watched his parents giggling. He adored seeing them so happy together after all these years. “It’s amazing any of us have found spouses we are happy with considering the expectation the pair of you have put out for us.”

    Sarah gave Wulfric a very loud kiss on the cheek and stood. “Some of us are lucky enough to find someone we like well enough in the beginning. And the few of us who are able to marry for love find that it only multiplies by the day.” She combed her fingers through Wulfric’s hair. “I need to go lie down for a while.”

    “I will come up to read to you for a while later.”

    “Thank you, love.” She kissed the top of his head and left the room.

    Anthony heard Naomi sigh from the doorway. “I hope Reginald and I are like this when we’re old.”

    Wulfric scoffed. “Old? Naomi Grace, we are not old.”

    Naomi shrugged. “Much older than I.” She sauntered over to the sideboard and started filling a plate.

    Anthony shook his head. His father wasn’t so very young. In fact, he was the oldest person inside their family still living. Osborne men historically didn’t tend to live much past their fiftieth birthdays. And it terrified him, even at twenty-three.

    A footman walked in with a note and handed it to Anthony. “For you, my lord.”

    “Thank you.” Anthony took the envelope and immediately recognized Susan’s writing.

    Please come over as soon as possible. There are so very many books and I have no clue what to do with them. Teddy and Livvie keep stacking them all and knocking them over. Bartholomew has absconded with at least a dozen. And I miss you. Bring your sisters. Surely I can find something to occupy them.

    Anthony folded the paper and slipped it back into the envelope. “Zo? Nome? Fancy a day helping Susan get her books organized?”

    Zoe clapped her hands happily. “I would love it!”

    Naomi shook her head. “Reginald is taking me to look at some horses. He promised me a new carriage and everything. He chose the carriage already, but I demanded the chance to approve horses. So I simply cannot give it up.”

    His sister continued to chatter on about the horses. Naomi always spoke more than was entirely necessary. Zoe look dejected. After all these years with her twin, they were now starting to live separate lives. Anthony silently promised that he would do all he could to include Zoe in his world once Naomi was married.

    Naomi finally stopped with, “I hope you have fun with the books, though. Reginald and I will stop by afterward to tell you all about it.”

    Zoe smiled, but it didn’t quite meet her eyes. “Thank you, Nome.”

    “Oh, it will be no trouble.” Naomi was off again.

****

    Susan stood in the middle of a room just off the drawing room. She was surrounded with several stacks of books. Livvie and Teddy were in a corner with another stack of books. Anthony watched them a few moments as the children stood a pair of books on their ends and then laid another on top.

    “Hello, Lord Anthony!” Teddy said when he noticed the new presence. “We’re making houses!”

    “Houses, eh?” Anthony glanced to Susan, who had an exasperated look on her face, and then back to the children. “Would you like to show Lady Zoe your nursery?” He pointed with his thumb toward Zoe. “She was just saying how much she wanted to see that rocking horse of yours.”

    Teddy’s eyes lit up and he ran across the room, taking Zoe by the hand and trying to drag her out of the room. “It’s blue!”

    Livvie walked over much slowly. “It’s brown,” she corrected, “with blue eyes.” She took Zoe’s other hand and they all walked out of the room together.

    Zoe glanced over her shoulder. “I will be back to help soon.”

    “Thank you!” Susan called after her. Then she looked to Anthony. “And thank you.”

    “Where is the nanny?”

    “She is no longer working with us.” Susan sighed. “I misread a signal. I made an advance and offended her.”

    “Damn.” Anthony chewed his lip. “Do you think she will say anything to anyone?”

    She shrugged. “I have no idea. And right now, I don’t care. We’re engaged. It was in the paper this morning, so it’s official and everything. If she says something, I can deny it with proof.” She bent over another stack of books. “Your father’s men are bringing the shelves today, right?”

    “They should be.” He looked around. “Is this enough room?”

    She shook her head. “I will have to pare them all down to have enough space. But I don’t want to sell from here. I’m considering not opening the shop at all.”

    “But what will you do with yourself if you aren’t selling books?”

    “Run this house. Take care of the children. Join a committee or two.” She plopped down on the floor and pulled a book off the top of the pile. “This was my father’s favorite.”

    Anthony sat down beside her. “My mother is having another baby. Can you believe it?” He reached up and pushed a piece of hair behind Susan’s ear. “It got me thinking.”

    She looked up, horror in her eyes. “About children? Are you expecting to have some with me? You’re the second son. Are you required—”

    He shrugged. “I suppose it’s silly. How would we even achieve it?”

    “You’re the only one that would need to actually achieve anything. I’d just have to lie there.” She grinned at him, her eyes softening. “If it’s something you want, we will try. Once we’re married, of course.”

    “We don’t need to. It was just…” He sighed and leaned back on his hands. “I never saw myself as a father. But in six months, I will have three children. And I will have done nothing to get them but marry you.”

    She mirrored his position. “That’s all men have to do anyway.”

    He shook his head. “My father has always been as much a part of our upbringing as our mother. We had a nanny, but she was never our sole caregiver. We never were paraded in front of our parents and their friends for all of five minutes to show their accomplishments. Or sent away to school. I knew plenty of my friends from school who barely knew their parents because they were just seen for a few minutes at a time every day. We spent hours with Mama and Papa. They would read to us and play with us and talk with us. We had picnics and took carriage rides around the park.” He looked at her. “I want to be that kind of father.”

    “Then you will be.”

    “They aren’t really my children. They won’t see it. Society won’t see it. And I will try to, but I don’t know if I will either.”

    “If you spend the time with them that you wish, you’ll be more their father than any other man of your station with their natural children.” She patted his hand. “Now, come along and help me. I’m feeling very overwhelmed.” She stood and held out a hand to him.

    Anthony took the hand Susan offered and allowed her to help him to his feet. He stood just a few inches from her for a moment. They had been this close before, he knew. He remembered the little flecks of brown in her green eyes and the freckles that dotted her cheeks. A crooked smile played on her lips.

    He leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose.

    She laughed and slapped playfully at his shoulder. “Come along, you.” She picked up the book she’d said was her father’s favorite. “Where in the world did I put the Ds?”

    A short time later, Zoe came into the room. “How can I help?”

    Anthony watched as Susan became unsure of herself for a moment. Then she pointed to the books they had yet to sort and explained what they were doing. If Anthony didn’t know any better, he would have sworn Zoe was being extra interested in every word Susan said. But perhaps it was just that she was happy to be doing something instead of moping alone at home without Naomi.

    The shelves arrived and Susan led the men into the adjoining music room to set them up.

    Zoe paused in her sorting a moment and watched through the open door. Anthony followed her gaze and saw Susan standing there with one hand on her hip and the other on her forehead.

    “How many were broken?”

    “Five of them, ma’am.” One of the men said. “We do apologize. We did our best to get them here in the best shape.”

    She heaved a sigh and threw her hands in the air. “Just put them all in here and I’ll find someone to repair the broken ones. Thank you.” She came back in and wrapped her arms around Anthony’s waist, pressing her eyes into his shoulder.

    “There was an altercation on the road and some of the shelves fell off the wagon. One completely fell apart. And a few others can possibly be repaired.”

    Anthony gave her a small squeeze. “I know of a competent carpenter.”

    Susan looked up. “My father made these, Anthony.”

    He placed his hands on her cheeks. “I know. And they are beautifully constructed. Most of them are still intact. It will be fine. We will get someone that can repair the damaged ones and make a new one to replace the one that is completely gone.” He kissed her forehead. “It will be fine, Suzie.”

    She nodded and pressed her eyes to his shoulder once more. “I miss him today more than I have in a long time.”

    Zoe said softly, “Will you tell me about your father?”

    Susan stepped out of Anthony’s embrace and went back to the books. “Not many people liked him. But it wasn’t for his lack of trying. He was different in many obvious ways. But he always worked hard to be liked. He always did his best to get any book a person was looking for, even if it hadn’t had a new printing. He knew all the right people to contact. He was clever and he was kind.” She stopped, looking down at the book in her hands. “My mother fell in love with him when she was your age and she ran off to marry him. Her father had refused to let her marry a merchant, much less a black one. But she wouldn’t listen. My grandfather disinherited her and cut her off from the family. My mother always told me that my grandmother and aunt wanted to meet me, but my grandfather wouldn’t allow it.”

    “Did they know when your grandfather died? Your parents, I mean?” Zoe asked.

    “I think they did. I remember just before my mother died, there was a letter that had her sobbing. She went to her room. I asked Papa what was wrong and he said it was bad news. Mama told me later my grandparents both had passed on. I suppose she was crying more for her mother than her father.”

    One of the workers came in. “We have the damaged shelves, ma’am. You said you wanted to look at them.”

    “Yes.” Susan followed the man into the other room.

    “I didn’t know her father was black.” Zoe said softly.

    “He passed. She does a better job of it with her skin being even lighter. And the red hair. But I remember people weren’t always nice. Even people who had known Maxwell Wright for decades and knew him to be a decent man treated him with contempt.”

    “Why treat someone that way just because they have different colored skin?”

    Anthony shrugged. “I know slavery is an American problem, but it used to be ours as well. We are not immune to cruelty. None of us are, no matter how modern we think ourselves and those around us. We just all do our best to be good people. Apologize when we make mistakes or at the very least try not to make them again.”

    “Anthony, will you come look at this?” Susan called from the other room.

    Anthony put down the book he was holding and made his way into the other room. The wood was severely cracked on several of the cases, but they could very possibly be salvaged, Anthony was sure.

    “I will send a note to the man I know to come have a look. This isn’t the end of the world. We can make the repairs.” Anthony squeezed Susan’s hand. “Thank you for your hard work here. We greatly appreciate it.”

    Bartholomew came into the room and held out a book. “What is this word?”

    Susan took the book and looked it over. She pronounced it, Bartholomew repeated it, and then he left the room once more.

    Anthony grinned. The boy was already starting to trust Susan with small things. Good. He’ll be able to fully trust her with larger things later on.

[fisheoctrashdump]

Casey 1-20 (with Arianna, Jess, and Blez)

Holiday

Casey's experience with holidays has been pretty shitty over the years. He has a lot of bad memories attached to most holidays, so he tends to avoid celebrating any of them.

This year, though, I think he's actually looking forward to the holidays. I've been imagining the Lovelace and Hartley parents asking him to celebrate with them.

Cooking

He barely has the motivation to cook anymore.

He got a few things from watching his mom cook while he was younger. There were rare moments where she would let him help or give him advice. But mostly, Casey taught himself how to cook, when he was older.

He tends to go for convenience and ready to eat foods, mostly because his depression leaves him feeling incapable of cooking a real meal. He will sometimes cook something special for Ezra, if he can.

Sleeping

His sleep schedule really sucks. He usually doesn't go to bed until about 4 or 5 am, and he will sleep pretty much all day.

Casey has bad nightmares. Normally he's able to go back to sleep after a nightmare, but some of them shake him too bad. He will have to stay awake, and usually distracts himself with video games.

Driving

Clay refused to let Casey get his license when he was 16. Jordan didn't really want Casey driving, either, so he wasn't able to get his license until after he broke up with Jordan. Ezra helped him practice to take the test.

Bathing/showering

He can't really get motivated to shower often. He does every other day, if he's working. On the times he has a few days off in a row, Casey won't shower the whole time (unless he's going to be seeing his friends and family).

Hugging

Casey is a very huggy person, but he doesn't like invading other people's space unless they've given him the okay beforehand. He gives great hugs ;w;

Kissing

He is very often the one to initiate kisses with all his partners. Casey is a great kisser when he's in the right headspace, but all it takes is one off thought, and he no longer feels comfortable kissing that person. He also delivers lots of cheek kisses, especially to Nova when she's working. (And she always stops what she's doing to blow a kiss back as he's walking away afterwards. It's just their thing I guess :P )

Sex

So like, I've said a lot since I first developed Casey that it would take a lot of time before he would be able to trust someone enough to have sex with them after he breaks up with Jordan. I kept wondering, "well, how long?" And I added little things about his hypothetical sex life to make it safer for him to have (like keeping things vanilla, for example)

The more I've thought about this, though, the more I realized that there might not ever be a time Casey feels comfortable having sex. I never really imagined him desiring sex that much anyway, so I've decided that he's actually asexual :)

It of course takes him a while to realize that, and I imagine Blez playing a big part in helping him realize his asexuality. I don't think it would be something he ever really considered before. I still think coming out as asexual (more specifically, to his partners) will cause him a lot of anxiety, because he will be worried about that being a deal breaker or something.

General physical contact

He uses physical contact to express his affection to pretty much everyone. The only time this changes is when he's thinking about one of his nightmares. He will be afraid of hurting others, and avoid touching them (or letting others touch him). Even something simple as someone grabbing his hand while he's in that mindset will freak him out. He gets images of how that touch can escalate into violence in his mind, and it sends him into a panic.

Physical appearance

Casey is 5'9 I think. He has freckles on his face, but like Arianna's, they're pretty light. He wears glasses, but they sit crooked on his face because he accidentally broke the frame recently (they're new frames too gdi Casey)

He had a lot of scars on his body. Probably 90% of them were caused by Jordan, and the rest were from Clay.

His hair is dark brown and waist length. When not out in public, his hair is usually really tangled. This is because he only brushes it when he's going somewhere, but also because it just tangles really easily. It is nearly impossible to brush it when it's wet, for some reason.

Wardrobe

Casey is very well known for his denim jackets covered in patches and pins, but some other things in his wardrobe are,

Cool colored t shirts, and dark colored t shirts with video game logos/characters on them,

Grey jeans, which are often his choice color of pants for some reason

Converse, also all cool colored.

He has a work uniform as well, but when he's not wearing it it's either in the washing machine or crumpled in a ball in the corner of his room. His manager was dumb and only gave him one uniform

Jewelry

Chokers, but only to cover the scar. He isn't actually a fan of jewelry, and is hoping for the day he can stop wearing chokers and just accept that other people will see the scar

Nickname

Currently, the only nickname I have for him is one Blezbian came up with

Before they met in person, Casey and Blezbian were online friends and gaming buddies. They never asked/gave out their real names, so they made up nicknames for each other based on their screen names. For Casey, it was Marks (his username is marksofdefeat3). For Blezbian, it was Dayze (her username is 3dayze2late). After they make the connection that they're the same online friend they've been playing with, they both occasionally call each other by their nicknames :)

Dancing

He doesn't really dance. Of course, this changes when he gets with Nova. He's super embarrassed when he does, at first, but Nova has turned it into something he really enjoys doing. He won't dance with or for anyone but Nova.

Singing

He doesn't sing at all really. He's very silent when he listens to music, usually.

Anger

Casey is afraid of his anger. It causes him a lot of stress and anxiety, because he believes his anger is connected to Clay and Jordan. He has never seen healthy ways to express anger before, and that makes his anger explosive and scary to witness. He turns violent towards inanimate objects immediately, and once the initial surge of anger has passed, he will cry for letting himself get worked up like that. He is scared that one day he might accidentally hurt the ones he loves, but he is also scared to reach out for help and ask how to deal with his anger in a healthier way. He doesn't want to be like them, but moments like that make him feel like there's really no way to escape that.

Soft spot

Arianna and Devon.

Ezra, of course.

Blezbian, Blez, and Michael.

He loves pins a lot. Casey gets super excited when he finds new pins to add to his collection ;w;

Pubby,,,, he’s a big fan of dogs and how they do. (Holy shit I just imagined him meeting Himbo ohhghd ohf uck). He has his own pubby tho! Her name is Lola and Casey would die for she

Izan, eventually.

Nova, also eventually.

Strange as it sounds, he has a soft spot for creepy stuff. Things in the horror genre, mostly. He likes monsters and creepypastas and cryptids and such, and they are a soft spot for him. He finds some of them adorable (and no one else understands him they think it's so weird lmao)

Maybe Zerx, eventually (just something I've been considering, idk?)

Favorite possession

One of his denim jackets, though I'm not sure which one exactly (I think he has two or three of them, and one he wears more often than the others)

The shark lanyard Ezra gave him. Ezra said he got it so Casey could keep track of his keys and stuff easier. He was right, because Casey always knows where the lanyard (and his keys) are now ;w;

Arianna gave Casey one of her older skateboard decks when they got back in touch (because it was of a wolf, and she didn't really use it anymore). Casey displays it in his room now and no one is allowed to touch it.

Favorite photograph

A picture of Arianna when she was little. Their parents were gone for the night, and Casey had stolen his mom's camera. He told Arianna they were going to dress up and play fun games, and Casey took a lot of pictures of Arianna (and she even got a few of Casey.) His favorite of the many they took, though, is one of Arianna standing on her bed with a sheet pinned around her normal clothes to look kinda like a dress. She has Bunnins raised above her head, ready to throw it at Casey. She looked happy.

His other favorite picture is one he took of him and Ezra (with the same camera) during one of the church events where they got to hang out :)

Relationship with ___

Arianna

Ever since they were young, Casey has felt a strong connection to Arianna. He has always tried to do what he can to make Arianna happy. Until they were separated, they both provided a lot of relief to each other from their environment and the struggles they faced daily.

Currently, Casey is really just so happy to see Arianna again, and that she's in a better place. Part of him feels jealous, though, because she's getting a chance to live her teenage years in a peaceful environment, and he didn't really get that at all. He feels bad for thinking that way, but through all of the pain he's been through until this point, it's only natural to wish for better than what he's had before now. Ultimately, though, Casey doesn't want to do anything to ruin this for her. He's been careful not to unload any of the problems he's been facing over the years, and he never brings up Clay or their past together unless Arianna is the one to approach the topic.

Casey doesn't ever want to lose Arianna again. He doesn't think he'd be able to handle it.

Jess

I can't really imagine much of what Casey's relationship with Jess is, sadly. I imagine they get along okay, but they don't talk to each other much (especially compared to how much Casey talks to Blez and Blee). Jess seems like a nice person.

Blez

It's an unspoken thing that Blez and Casey have a mother/son relationship. Of all the Lovelace parents, Casey feels the closest to Blez. They play games together sometimes, and Blez will often invite Casey out to run errands or have lunch or something, because she knows otherwise he will be holed up in his apartment, alone.

He has also helped Blez with some of her technology stuff, and has started gaining an interest in engineering because of it.

Casey feels comfortable with Blez. Even when they first met, this was something Casey noticed. She gives him the feeling of having a mother figure, something that he wished he could have had with Jennifer. He sees Blez as a kind, gentle, and positive person overall and he's able to let go of the negative things that weigh him down when he's with her. Blez makes him happy.

[thorne93]

Old Flame, New Problems (Part 7)

Prompt: You’re in a serious relationship with Sebastian Stan, when news from your first love informs you that he’s now single and in need of a friend. Will your old flame burn out or will the flames get fanned and consume you?

Word Count: 3602

Warning: language, angst, fighting (verbal), cheating, drama

Notes: This idea came to me when news hit about Hayden and Rachel splitting. Of course I’m sad that a long time relationship such as theirs is ending, but it also means he’s single sooo…Also, no hate towards Rachel. I don’t know her, don’t know what really happened between them, etc. It’s a fic and in no way reflects what I think of either of them or their precious daughter ^.^

Beta’d by my #1 gal @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​ & flashbacks in italics

Forever Tags: @capsmuscles @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please @superwholocked527 @myparadise1982sand @missinstantgratification @thejemersoninferno @rda1989 @marvelloushamilton @munlis @thefridgeismybestie @bubblyanarocks3 @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @hardcollectionworldtrash @igiveupicantthinkofausername @kaliforniacoastalteens @feelmyroarrrr​ @kaeling

Sebastian Stan Tag: @nedthegay @lostinspace33 @alwayshave-faith @elleatrixlestrange @buenostardissherlock @lenawiinchester @the-red-world-of-jess-chibi @memory-of-a-goldfish @mellsstark

Old Flame Tag: @blackwidow-romanoff @seargantbcky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Did you get my gift?” Hayden said into the phone, a smile in his voice.

“Yes! I just got it! I’m going to unwrap the box now!” you said excitedly, sitting it down on the counter along with the huge bouquet of fresh flowers that just got delivered. “Thank you for the flowers, they’re stunning and vibrant.” Hayden laughed in response to your glee. You tore open the packaging, wondering what your LA based boyfriend had sent. Inside was a first edition of one of your favorite books, a new notebook and engraved fountain pen, and a photo of him kissing your cheek on a windy day in the park, framed.

“Oh...Hay, this is so...perfect,” you gushed. “Thank you. I miss you too much.”

“Just a little reminder of how much I love and miss you…”

Back home, everything settled back into the normal pace. Sebastian working, reading lines, going to table reads, and interviews. You, working on your books and your agent working with you on the upcoming promos you would do for the book. The two of you didn’t see a reason to travel for the book tour just yet, and thought it would be best to do two signings a week in NYC at various places. This was good news for you, and for Sebastian. It meant more time together.

However, Hayden had been a constant on your mind since the text. You were worried about him, your other feelings aside, he was your friend, and you knew what he dealt with. It was amazing that Sebastian understood the struggles as well. You had wanted to reach out a few times, of course talking to Seb about it first, but you didn’t want to  push your luck. Yet, as soon as you landed, and got set up in your office, you texted him.

“Hey, things are better between Seb and I. He forgave me and understood the situation. I just wanted to let you know I’m still here if you needed a friend.”

You put your phone down and went to work for a bit. The wait for a response was making you uneasy. Was he ignoring you? Was he mad at you? Was he okay?

But after twenty minutes, you got a reply.

“Nice to see you two resolved everything. I’m really sorry for the problems I caused, Y/N, it wasn’t my intention.”

“It’s fine. Let’s just move forward, okay? How are you holding up about Rachel and Briar Rose?”

“Not too good, honestly. I can’t absorb it. It hurts a whole hell of a lot to not see Briar every day. Rachel...that’s getting easier. We were drifting for a long time...But not seeing my daughter, knowing she’s in LA...thousands of miles away from me, it kills me.”

You read his message, your heart aching for him, wishing there was something you could do.

“I’m sorry. What can I do to help?”

“Nothing you can do.”

“There has to be something,” you tried back desperately.

“You could distract me. Tell me all about your writing news, anything new?”

You leaned back in your office chair, going into full detail about your novella, and your short story, and the news on the book promos. A smile was on your face as you continued to text for the better part of the day. You had practically forgotten all about writing, which was fine since you were well ahead of schedule.

While he and Rachel were together, you had subconsciously started talking less unless until your ritual of the call on the birthdays, text on Thanksgiving, and card on Christmas became normal. But texting him now, laughing and giggling, you remembered how much he made you laugh and made your lighter side come o.

You used to feel so safe with him, so at ease, it was always effortless between the two of you, at least until the strain of distance became too much. Talking to him again brought all of that back, the feeling of being home in a way you never had with anyone else, not even with Seb. But then you remembered that even if Hayden was that for you, you weren’t that to him. He had chosen another woman, someone other than you to create a home with, to start a family with, to share his life with, and that wasn't something you could ignore. It didn't matter what you felt for Hayden, he had made it clear he didn't feel the same, both in his actions and his words.

But that was a different time, a different circumstance. Now it seemed things could be what you had always wanted with him. A quiet, settled down life…That thought alone was enough to ignite that spark within you, that small fire that was hope. Hope for a future with the man you once loved so deeply.

--------------------

Over the course of the next week, the texting and calling stayed constant, talking about random things, about movies, joking around, recalling funny memories and reminiscing. Sebastian didn’t seem to mind that you were pretty much tethered to your phone because he was too preoccupied with work. He had flown out of town about a week and a half ago to do some rehearsals for his new movie.

Sebastian tried to keep in contact but his efforts to reach out were coming further apart. A text in the morning, maybe, and sometimes a call at night, if you were lucky. You texted about a five to one ratio with him. But it wasn’t his fault, it was work, he was pulling sixteen hour days, and you knew that….Didn’t make it suck any less to not see or talk to the man that was away from you for six months only a month and a half ago.

Whoever said distance makes the heart grow fonder could fuck off, because all it did was hurt and worry you. There was nothing fond about the thousands of miles separating you from your boyfriend.

At one of your book signings at Barnes and Noble, you had about fifty people come up for a signing, and the next patron was in line and you slapped on a smile for them. “Hey, how are you today--” you started to ask before you got stopped cold. “Hayden?” you gasped. He hated being out in the public eye, so why the hell was he at your signing? In NYC? With tons of media coverage?

“Hey,” he greeted sheepishly, the boyish smile popping onto his face again, making your heart flutter. He was donning a white shirt, and over it, a deep black military coat, with dark jeans.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, half in a panic, half wishing he could stay. “Don’t tell me you want the book signed,” you teased, glancing down to his hands. He did, in fact, have your book in his hands.

“Actually…” he said, handing it to you.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. “You’re ridiculous.” Opening the cover, you found a good spot to write, trying to decide what to put in his book. You’d never signed books for anyone you knew other than your family.

To the man who inspired a legacy, thank you for being there for me, always. ~ Love, Y/N

You closed the book and handed it back to him.

“There ya go,” you said with a smile. “But you didn’t come all the way down here for me to sign my stupid book, so what’s up?”

He grinned. “You caught me. I’m down here for filming.”

“You didn’t tell me you were working on anything,” you accused lightly.

He shrugged, the smile still on his face. “I wasn’t sure if it was a done deal. I just got the call a few days ago, saw that you’d be here, thought I’d swing by to surprise you.”

You laughed. “Consider me surprised. I’m so happy to see you,” you said, more emotion in your voice than you intended.

“Yeah, you too…”

A sweet moment seemed to linger between you two as your eyes looked into his.

“Would you want to get lunch?” he suddenly asked.

“Uh...Hay…” you started, knowing this wasn’t a good idea, knowing it was dangerous, knowing that around him, everything was a slippery slope. Your agent came up to you and whispered that you needed to move it along.

“Can we talk after this?” you asked, gesturing to the line behind him.

“Oh, sure, sorry,” he apologized, his face turning red as he stepped out of line.

“You can stand there,” you quietly instructed him, pointing right next to the table. For the last ten minutes, you sat there signing books and chatting with fans, all while Hayden watched you with adoration and fascination. Although you had been writing for twenty years, you had evolved, it seemed. You were already mature while you two dated but...now you seemed to have this new classiness about you. You were refined, sweeter, more patient. He didn’t know how he didn’t notice it when you were on his farm, maybe because you were far out of your element.

Once everyone was gone and they started packing up the few of your books that were left over and the other advertising and marketing materials, your agent said goodbye to you and you went over to Hayden.

You’d thought about his proposition, knowing it was a dangerous game to play, you two alone, but if you couldn’t trust yourself, how could you ask Seb to?

“So...lunch? I’m craving some frozen yogurt,” you informed and he laughed.

“Anything you wish,” he said as he offered you his arm and took it.

------------------

The two of you had a light lunch of salads and bread to make room for the frozen yogurt you were desperately craving. You walked along the street, just strolling, casually talking about his film and the book signing.

“So how long are you in town?” you asked, scooping your spoon into the frozen treat.

“Till Christmas, maybe a little less. It’s not all based in New York so…” he explained.

“I’m looking forward to it, whatever it is.” Just then, your phone rang. “Oh, hang on just a sec,” you requested kindly as you shifted yourself to get to your phone. “Hey, Seb,” you greeted with a smile.

“Hey, babe. We took a fucking break, finally. God damn. I’m tired...Ugh...Anyway, how was the book signing? Are you done with it?”

“It went well. We sold almost all the copies we brought,” you informed, your eyes drifting to your friend and instantly you knew you needed to tell Sebastian he was in the city.

“That’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you. So what are you up to now?” he inquired.

You bit your lip, looking at Hayden who stood looking at you with a concerned expression.

“Uh, actually, I’m hanging out with Hayden,” you explained, knowing you needed to follow up, quickly. “He’s in town for filming, and stopped by to say hi.”

“So...you’re just hanging out? The two of you? Alone?”

“Alone, with about a hundred other people on the sidewalk here in SOHO,” you informed, the tiniest laugh in your voice.

“Y/N…” he started, his voice strained. “I’m not really comfortable with this.”

“Why? Do you not trust me?”

“It’s not that...it’s just...the last time you two were along, you weren’t exactly faithful,” he reminded.

“So you don’t trust me?” you said, it almost sounded like a question but  it was more of an affirmation to what you had heard. “Look, you forgave me. It's not fair for you to keep dragging it up whenever it suits you. You either trust me or you don't, easy as that.”

“It’s not that easy. Yes I forgave you, I know, but I get insecure when you're around him, especially since I’m hundreds of miles away and it was distance that strained us the last time,” he reminded in a relatively calm voice. At this, you decided to face away from Hayden, trying to keep the fight a little more private.

“Need I remind you, it wasn't just distance, Sebastian. But either way, you and I are in a better place now. But this relationship will never work if we can't trust each other.”

“I know. I do trust you, but it would be nice if you tried to put yourself in my shoes as well... see this from my point of view. I did it for you, to forgive you. I saw it from your side. Now see it from mine. He’s still single, he’s still lonely, you still have feelings for him…”

You bit your lip. You didn’t tell Sebastian that, not outright. You’d said you would always love him, but most people held a special place in their heart for their first love and you were no exception.

“So you think I can’t control myself? Sebastian, we’re better. You and I are better now, we’re fine. You can trust me.”

“I don't want you hanging out with him until I’m home,” he said. His side of the fight was fair, you knew that. But did he really think you would just betray him again?

“You know, if I was going to cheat again, I wouldn’t tell you that he was here and that he was hanging out with me. If you think I need a chaperone or supervision, just say so,” you responded, getting angry.

“Maybe that’s what you need,” he retorted, upset himself. “I don’t see how this is so hard for you to figure out, Y/N. You two together is a bad idea.”

“I am capable of controlling myself,” you responded in a low voice.

“You sure about that?” he asked.

Your mouth fell open. “I’m going to hang out with my friend, if you have a problem with that, then that’s your deal, not mine. I’ll talk to you when you’ve gotten over this.” You hung up and spun back to Hayden. “Ready to go?”

“Where are we going?”

“My place. I wanna watch something with blood and gore,” you said, starting to storm up the sidewalk.

“Y/N,” he said, jogging to keep up with you, “if this is going to be a problem, I can just leave. I just thought it would be nice to see you since I would be in town, a friendly face, someone who knows what I’m going through. But if this is going to create a problem...”

You stopped and turned to face him. “You aren't the problem, Hayden, it’s him. Ugh,” you groaned. “The thing that happened between you and I was a mix of you being hurt, old feelings, and my anger at Seb. You know why I was mad at him?” you asked.

He looked left and right then answered, unsure, “Because he was ignoring you?”

“That’s only half of it,” you stated. “First, it was the six months with barely interaction. No big deal at first, I was busy with my novel, publishing, editing, all that fun shit. But then my writing slowed down, and I started to notice the calls were only about two or three times a week and maybe ten texts.” Hayden went to open his mouth but you stopped him by raising a hand. “I know, he’s busy. I get it. I know how hard actors work, I’ve been with enough to know it’s not easy and how many hours they have to go through. But it wasn’t just that. It was the fact that he didn’t read my book not till I had asked him about it a few more times. It’s about the fact that when he got home, he barely kissed me, and ran to bed. It’s about the fact that every night I tried to do anything intimate with him, he said he was tired and rolled over. Or if I tried in the morning, he told me he was late.”

You stopped to get a breath of air.

“Or dinner. I get it, he works hard, grueling hours. But sometimes having dinner brought in would be nice too. I spend every day cleaning, watching after Spinee, cooking, shopping, laundry, and writing. But some help would be nice. Not much, but ordering takeout or a pizza….Or maybe offering to clean the kitchen for once. I work too. It’s that this isn’t a two way street any more. He just expects me to do all of this shit without any appreciation. I was tired of being the invisible maid to him. Not once while he was away did he send flowers, or have a pizza delivered, or send chocolates, or hell, even read my fucking story. I mean, should I really have to beg him to read it? You read my shit and we hardly ever speak...” you said, waving your hand absently at your friend who listened to you rant.

“Why don’t we go get you home and we can talk and you can vent all you want? But out on the street…” he said, insinuating a media frenzy would start soon if they saw the two of you, clearly talking about something heated.

“Fine.”

You hailed a cab, the two of you climbed in, and once you got home, you offered him something to drink.

“Coffee if you have it. What’s this guy’s name?” he asked, petting Spinee, who had initially barked a few times at him.

“Spinee,” you informed as you set to work making the coffee. “I’m sorry about the rant. I guess….Yes, I know we kissed. I know I betrayed him. I know he’s in a tough spot, but he makes it out like he wasn’t to blame for me starting to stray in the first place. It’s not my fault he’s been absent in this relationship for seven or so months…” you commented angrily, nearly muttering yourself by the end of the rant. You placed the mug in front of Hayden at the counter as he sat on a stool.

“Is he really all that bad?” he questioned, knowing you were probably just frustrated.

You shook your head and sighed, leaning backwards against the island. “No. I still love him...and I know I fucked up...I know it’s not going to be easy to trust me...But...to tell me I can’t even hang out with you is just ludacris.”

“He has a fair point,” Hayden countered.

Shaking your head again, you replied, “I thought the last month was a sign of things getting better. He was spending time with me, making me a priority, doing sweet things...was that all just out of jealousy? Was he just doing all that stuff as a response to us?” you wondered.

“Does it matter why he did them, if he did them? Isn’t that what counts? That he was thinking of you?” Hayden questioned.

“Yes, it does matter. I want him to want to be near me, to want to do things with me or for me because he loves me, not because he’s afraid he’s going to lose me if he doesn’t. I want him to do this stuff because he wants it...not just a tactic to keep me from leaving,” you quietly said, crossing your arms.

He hung his head, nodding to the side. “I get that. So what are you gonna do? Just keep fighting him about us hanging out?”

“I’m just going to remind him that the last time I did something I shouldn’t have, I came clean. We went through hell and back just to be on good terms, why would I screw that up now?”

“I see.”

“Look, it’s not your problem,” you said, your voice lifting a bit. “Come on, let’s forget about relationship problems and watch something,” you suggested, waving him over to the couch.

“Sounds like a plan.”

But you couldn’t forget about the problems. How could you? You had told Sebastian that the kiss up at his farm was a one time thing, something to get out of your system, something to help you get over him. And in a way, you thought it had. Texting and calling really did feel friendly, but the instant you saw him in that bookstore, everything came crashing back down around you. For a few moments, Sebastian had completely left your mind and all you saw was Hayden, your first love, the one you always felt that had got away.

You had no idea how to feel. Hayden and you had been over for over ten years now, but yet, when you were right next to each other, it was as if nothing had changed. He was still the same sweet, funny, chill, easy going guy you’d fallen in love with. He still made the same dumb jokes. Being next to him you felt at the most ease in the entire world. He felt so comfortable...Inviting...He felt like home.

Yet...Sebastian was similar. Being in his arms at night, you’d never felt safer. Being by his side for the few events you could go to felt natural. Dancing with him at events or just randomly at home always gave you butterflies and you felt connected to him. He was the first man since Hayden to make you feel like you could even love again, even let someone in. When he was away, you missed him so much, and your writing reflected that. It usually turned darker and more somber while he was away.

[puckish-saint]

can i have a s/o begin silly with Zenyatta, reaper, mcree using their catchphrase something like: zenyatta is kinda sad and s/o say "come here and Experience Tranquility" with open arms, the reaper s/o trying to sneak up on reaper(failing miserably) and saying "death comes" in most sweet tone, and mcree... i have no idea :D maybe the s/o answering the time saying "its high noon"?

Zenyatta

It's not often that Zenyatta admits tobeing sad. Every negative emotion is carefully weighed and judged byits usefulness. Grieving for Mondatta is deemed worthy of beingexpressed, both to validate others’ feelings and to show respect tohis old friend.

But there is no sense in being a burdento his loved ones for something as inconsequential as a moodswing,and so he pretends that nothing is amiss when he greets you and yourcurrent hosts, an omnic couple who are honored by having Zenyattastay with them, that morning over breakfast only you are actuallyeating.

“These are the best pancakes I everhad.” you claim. They're really not but your hosts have been soself conscious over their cooking you have to reassure them somehow.And really, considering they don't need nutrients themselves they'venot being doing that bad a job.

“We can bring the leftovers for youto ‘snack on’ later.” Zenyatta says and it's as endearing asever to hear him use terminology that is exclusively human. Omnicsdon't snack, but he adores the concept of humans eating just forpleasure as much as you adore him sometimes losing control of hislimbs when he devotes too much of his mind to his philosophising andforgets he has a physical body to maintain.

Shortly after breakfast you set outtowards the local community center, to help out with whatever needsdoing and forming new connections while you're at it. Working withpeople is such an integral part of Zenyatta's life you couldn't getaround it if you wanted. He talks to humans and omnics and makes nodifferences between the two and knows their needs like he knows hisown. Better than his own even.

“Something's wrong, isn't it?” yousay over mid-morning pancakes, between helping a young single motherwith her newborn and school children with their homework, somethingthey'll often not have at home.

“All is well.” he says and that'swhen you know he's upset. Usually he wouldn't have missed the chanceto make a quip about the world in general having something wrong withit.

“Spit it out.”

His shoulders sag and he gives up thepretense of happiness.

“I suffered a bad dream last night,nothing more. I do not wish to wallow in it. Or talk about it.” headds when you open your mouth to ask about the contents of his dream.

“Fair enough.” you say, pulling outa pen from your bag and writing on the back of your hand, withoutletting him see.

“I guess sometimes you really justhave to move on and … “ you pause for effect long enough until heknows you’re going to make a bad joke of the kind he’ll never getenough of. “... embrace tranquility.”

You show your hand, tranquilitywritten on it, and Zenyatta laughs so hard his voicebox glitches. Hehugs you, hiccuping through his giggles, bad mood all but forgotten.

Reaper

His mask lies unsupervised on thebedside table and the temptation is too great to resist. He’s closeby, planning the next mission with Sombra, the only other person nextto you whom he allows to see his face. She knows anyway, he’s saidthe one time you brought it up, it’s not like he can hide hisidentity from her. But it’s more than that and everyone knows it,and everyone knows to leave it unspoken.

You grab the mask and, after somethought, the black bedspread as well, throwing it around yourshoulders like a cape. This will either get you laughed at or punchedbut you’re willing to take that risk, as you head out, fightingwith the fastenings until the mask sits securely on your face. Youhave to resist the urge to hum the Imperial March heading down thehallway.

Two mooks Talon sent with you for thisop stop and stare when you pass them, muffled snickering followingyou all the way to the kitchen, the biggest room in this safehouseand thus the center of operations.

Gabriel hears you come in but doesn’tlook up from the map, on which he moves holographic figures likechess figures. Sombra does and covers her mouth, unable to keep fromsnorting. By some miracle Gabriel either doesn’t notice or doesn’tcare. He snaps his fingers in front of her eyes to direct herattention back to the job at hand.

“I need you to take security out hereat checkpoint A, then B.” he says, oblivious to you mimicking hissharp gestures behind his back. Sombra nearly goes cross-eyed in hereffort to remain serious. While he lays out the plan, you stalk upand down the room behind him, threatening imaginary enemies andshooting pretend shotguns.

“Take control of security betweencheckpoints C and D but let something through. Nothing that givesaway our presence, but make them investigate. We need theadministrator distracted for our final push- are you listening?”

Sombra is not. She’s wheezing, oneperformance away from slapping her knees and that’s when Gabrielturns around.

He glares.

You glare back, suddenly aware of themany benefits of wearing a mask. He can’t see the grin trying tosplit your face.

All that can be heard for several longseconds is Sombra’s desperate attempts to get enough air into herlungs between giggle fits.

“Do the thing!” she manages, wavingto elaborate her request. “Do the thing. Gabe’s thing.”

You know exactly what she means anddon’t know if that should worry you. Gabriel looks ready to kick,bite or punch you and only hasn’t because he can’t decide onwhich, but you’ve come this far.

“Death walks among you.” yousay in the most gravelly voice you can manage, pretending to dissolveinto smoke by flapping your blanket-cape. Sombra has to sit down,crying tears of joy.

And then, just when you resign yourselfto sleeping on the couch tonight, a tiny smile breaks throughGabriel’s stoic facade.

You’ve seen it, he knows you’veseen it and now there’s no way back. Not for lack of trying. Hecovers the smile with a scowl, turns around.

“We’ve got work to do.” he says,pointing at the map.

But he doesn’t object when you keepthe mask on.

McCree

It’s that late at night when it’salmost morning. Sensible people sleep the sleep of the just, but youand Fareeha drew the short straw and have been condemned to nightshift after almost two days without sleep, watching thirteen hoursworth of security footage stolen from Talon’s mainframe. So farit’s worth a hell lot of nothing.

“Betcha ... “ Fareeha says,gesticulating vaguely. “Betcha something, that man there’s gonnatrip over the cables.”

“You’re on.”

The man in question doesn’t trip andit’s not the first disappointment of that night.

“Aww.” you both say and search forsomething else to bet on.

“Betcha … nothing will happen.”you say and for some reason, likely because it’s almost four am,that throws Fareeha into a giggle fit. She leans against yourshoulder, shuddering with laughter. Her teeth are chattering, fromsleep-deprivation induced cold, and you’re not that much betteroff. Sooner rather than later you lie in each other’s arms,laughing at nothing in particular, unable to stop.

That’s when Jesse walks in, carryingthree cups of tea and a bewildered expression.

“You alright there?” he asks andthat only makes you laugh more. Fareeha tries and fails to verballyconfirm you’re fine, your goals are more realistic and restrictedto waving and nodding. It must be a sight to see, two ofOverwatch’s top agents brought low by the dangerous effects of latenight work.

“Jack asked me to relieve you.” hesays as he sits down by your side. “Looks like I didn’t come amoment too soon.”

“For a change!”

Fareeha punches your shoulder, halfscandalised, half cackling at Jesse, who doesn’t even have thegrace to blush. He knows what four am can do to a person.

“Hey … hey, Jesse.” She pokes hisarm. “Guess it’s true you’re a quick draw.”

She falls off her chair and almostdrags you with her, if it hadn’t been for Jesse pulling you both toyour feet.

“Alright, time for bed. Come on, offyou go.”

He pauses the video feed with one hand,while using the other to hold you up. It’s a mystery for the ageshow he manages to get you both to your respective quarters withoutserious injury, and an even greater one how he keeps his patience.

“If I didn’t know any better I’dswear you’re high.” he says, shaking his head as you sink into abed that has seen far too little use the past few days.

“Nah. That’s only for when it’s …high noon.”

“Jesus ... “ he says and shakes hishead while you nudge him in a “get it?” kind of way.

Come morning, proper morning precededby at least six hours of sleep, Jesse will mercilessly tease you overthis. Right now, though, you’re so busy trying to think of anotherpun you don’t even notice when he leaves.“High noon …” hemumbles to himself on his way back to work. He chuckles. “Gottaremember that one.”

[shielddrake]

Rebel of Sky City Ch. 6

Chapter Six

 Isa listened as the clang of metal rang through the palace and she smiled at the sound.  To anyone else this might be alarming, but she immediately knew the source and headed that way.

 As more clangs flew through the air, The Founder finally arrived at the training room a few minutes later.  This was her personal training room she had used when she was younger, during the time she was trying to learn how to wield a sword so she could fight the monsters created by the spawn eggs Benedict laid.  It had actually been one of the first rooms she had built when she founded Sky City, so it was located on the first floor relatively close to the throne room.

 When she arrived, Isa spotted her Captain of the Guard and her daughter clashing swords.  

 Clang.  “You’re getting better.”

 Clang.  “Thanks, Reginald.”

 Clang.  “That, or I’m getting too old for this.”

 Clang and a laugh.  “Yeah, because you’re just so old!”

 Clang.  “Oh, now you’re going to get it!”

 Reginald’s larger frame gave him more power, but Jesse was much faster, and she was easily able to hold her own against him.  This was no surprise to Isa, however, as she had allowed Jesse to learn how to fight since she was old enough to walk, and Reginald had been in charge of training her in all sorts of combat as she got older.

 Clang.  “Your footwork needs practice.  Spread your feet a bit.”

 Clang.  “Got it.”

 Along with her swordplay, Jesse was using the environment to her advantage as well.  There were a couple of practice dummies around the room, which Jesse used for practice when she was younger, and now she was still using them as either barriers to keep Reginald at bay or to give her slightly higher ground.  She would even occasionally throw one at her opponent in an attempt to distract or knock him off guard.  Jesse was nothing if not resourceful.

 Clang.  “Ouch!”

 “Sorry!”

 “I am getting too old for this.”

 There was, however, one big problem.  Not for Jesse, but for Reginald.  Ever since Isa had gifted her daughter with a little pig, whom Jesse had named Reuben, the two of them were practically inseparable.  As such, Reuben was sitting at the edge of the training room, watching the two practice. Reuben had proved to be more than a little protective of his new owner, especially with all the times he wouldn’t let some of the other guards near her, and this was no more apparent than when Reginald managed to pin Jesse against a wall.

 Reuben squealed and immediately ran over and gave Reginald a headbutt in his stomach, something that was becoming the little pig’s signature move.  His diminutive size didn’t stop him from doing some serious damage when he wanted either.  Reginald let out an oomph as his breath left his lungs, but not enough to make him drop his sword.  Reuben began jumping up and down as he continued to squeal loudly.

 Of course, this was enough to distract Reginald so that Jesse saw an opportunity to counter. With a flick of her wrist and circle of her blade, Reginald’s sword went flying out of his hand and onto the floor a number of meters away.

 Jesse held up her sword in triumph.  

 “Yes!  I am the sword master!”  Reuben let out a playful oink and she looked down at him. She quickly put her sword away on the wall before reaching down and giving him a big hug. “Or maybe pig master is more like it?”

 Isa began clapping her hands, and Jesse, Reginald and Reuben all turned to the sound of the applause.

 “Well done, Jesse,” she said as she walked towards them.  “Reginald’s right.  You are getting better.”

 “I’ll be slaying ghasts and creepers in no time flat at this rate,” Jesse declared.

 Isa walked over to where Reginald’s sword had landed, picking it up and studying it carefully. “I should remind you that you are supposed to be practicing with wooden swords, not iron ones, so no one gets hurt?”

 Jesse rubbed the back of her head, but her smile didn’t diminish.  “Wooden swords won’t last three strikes against even a zombie.”

 “I was the one who suggested real swords, Ma’am,” Reginald interjected.  “Iron has a different weight to it than wood.  It would be better for Jesse to become accustomed to the that, since she will rarely be using wooden swords.”

 “Very true,” Isa acquiesced. “I said I should remind you.  Not that I would.  I suppose you had to advance to real swords sometime.”

 “I’m not in trouble then?”

 “I suppose not.” Reuben ran around Isa in a circle, and she kneeled down to give him a few pats on his head.  Isa always thought he was an adorable piglet.  “Are you done with training for today?”

 “I think so,” Jesse said and turned to the captain.  “Reginald? Was there anything else today?”

 “No, Young Miss.”  He shook his head.  “Well, I was going to give you an introduction to disarming, but…”

 Reginald trailed off and Jesse smiled.  “I swear that was just luck.  I’ve never done that before.”

 “You’re a natural then, Young Miss.”

 Jesse kept herself from cringing a little at the title, and Reuben gave an unsophisticated snort. Ever since her escapade at the Spring Festival, Jesse had become more and more irritated by any title someone gave her.

 “Did you need me for something, Mother?” Jesse turned her attention away from Reginald as he went to clean the swords.

 “I wanted to let you know I will be having audiences for the rest of the day.”

 “It’s still morning, Mother. That means you’ll be there all day, not just the rest of the day.”

 Isa chuckled.  “I just wanted to tell you—”

 Any chance she’s going to let me sit in on the audiences? Jesse thought hopefully.

 “—to avoid the throne room until dinner this evening,” Isa finished, and Jesse’s spirit immediately fell. “I’m sure you can keep yourself occupied in your room or the library?”

 “Yeah, I’m sure.”  Can’t let anyone know The Founder has a daughter.  Nope.  That would be bad, wouldn’t it?  “I have some books to read.  Right, Reuben?”

 The little pig oinked, but gave Isa an exasperated glance.

 “Oh, don’t look at me like that,” Isa said to him.  “I’m sorry I’m busy, but maybe we can spend some time together tonight?  Discuss those books?”

 Jesse gave a half-hearted smile.  “I’d like that.”

 Isa gave her a hug and then headed on her way.  Reginald, who had been watching the whole exchange, came over to her and gave her a soft pat on her shoulder.  Jesse rolled her eyes.

 “I know what you’re going to say,” Jesse stated.  “Mother’s just protecting me and I’ll understand when I’m older.”

 Reginald grinned. “Well, at least she can never say you don’t listen to her words.”

 “Are you sure you don’t need help?”

 “I can handle things. It’s just cleaning some swo—”

 “Captain Reginald!”  Another guard whom Jesse recognized as Gabriel. He spotted Jesse and saluted. “Pardon me, Young Miss.”

 “It’s fine, Gabriel.” He calls me that too.  Everyone does.

 “Captain, I need to talk to you about these reports,” Gabriel continued.  He passed a clipboard over to him.  “Margaret told me that Calvin has been submitting his only half finished, and Otis hasn’t submitted any in the last two weeks.  Mabel has been late to her patrols since the end of the festival last week as well.”

 Reginald let out a long sigh.  “This is becoming more and more frequent.  First Ron and Harry, now them?”

 “I tried to tell them all this wasn’t acceptable, but they don’t seem to listen to me,” he continued. “I normally wouldn’t bother you with this, but they may take your word more seriously than mine.”

 “We can only hope the new recruits are more dependable,” Reginald said.  “I’ll speak with them.  Please excuse us, Young Miss.”

 “Of course,” Jesse replied. “I don’t suppose hearing from The Founder’s daughter would make these guards more cooperative?”

 Reginald shook his head with a smile.  “Nice try.”

 “Can you blame me?”

 “Better see to your books.” The pint-sized swine oinked.  “You too, Reuben.”

 With another oink, Jesse and Reuben made their way back to Jesse’s room.  Reuben immediately went over to the little basket next to Jesse’s dresser, covered in blankets that acted as Reuben’s own bed.  He nested a little bit and then laid down and gave Jesse a pleased expression.

 “I’m going to have to make you a bigger bed,” she said.  “You’ll grow out of that one pretty soon.”

 Reuben gave her his own version of a smile as he snuggled further into his bed.  Basket beds are nice.

 Jesse took one look at the pile of books at the foot of her bed before shaking her head.

 “Forget that. Mother’s going to be busy all day and Reginald has other things to distract him.”  She gave Reuben a returning grin before walking to the door and locking it.  “I’m going out.  I’ll see you later, Reuben.”

 The piglet immediately perked up and watched as Jesse changed out of her dress and back into her overalls.  He gave her a worried look and released a matching oink.

 “Oh, don’t give me that look,” she responded.  “You can always oink and make it sound like I’m busy with you.  I’ll be fine.”

 Reuben leapt from his bed and jumped to the window, blocking her from reaching the ladder stuck beneath it.

 “Sorry, Reuben, but you can’t come with me.  I don’t want someone to mistake you for a pork chop.”

 Oink.

 “I do not sound just like my mother!  Take that back!”

 Oink!

 “Okay, yeah, so I don’t want anything to happen to you.  How about when you aren’t so small that you could get lost?”

 …Oink.

 “Thank you.”  Jesse moved to the window and turned to start her climb.  “I won’t be long.  I have to be back for dinner after all.”

 Reuben let out a few more sad oinks as she made her way down the ladder.

 Jesse took the same route as last time, which only encouraged her to think that it was the safe route to take regularly.  This was her second day out of the palace, with the first time being at the Spring Festival a week ago, and she truly regretted not taking the chance to go back to the festival for the remaining two days it was celebrated.  She would peek out the palace windows, hoping to see someone she recognized like Lukas, Petra or Aiden, but the people there were little more than dots, as they always were, so she could never make them out.

 I have to remember the festival’s not going on anymore, she thought as she reached the back alley at the end of her escape route.  It’s probably less crowded now.  Can’t let the guards spot me.

 Although Jesse’s prediction about the streets of Sky City being less packed than before, there were still plenty of people around.  Some people kept to themselves, but most were perfectly friendly with her, and she had some nice conversations about their lives and how they were going.  Once the topic of weather came around, however, Jesse knew it was time to move on.

 Being isolated all my life doesn’t really help me with making small talk, she groaned to herself.  Maybe the library has some books about how to talk to people…Did I really just think I could learn how to talk to people from a book?!

 She was brought out of her reverie when she spotted a familiar tuft of blond hair.  Even after spending only a few hours with him, Jesse felt she could recognize Lukas from a mile away.  He was crouched behind the corner of a building and seemed to be looking for something around it.  Next to him was Aiden, who kept his back to the wall and seemed to be waiting for a signal of some kind.  They were both holding something round in their hands.

 Jesse smiled and ran over to them.  “Lukas! Aiden!”

 Lukas twisted his head around to look at her and then put his finger to his lips in a shushing gesture. Aiden gave her a confident smirk.

 “You’re timing couldn’t be better, Jesse,” he said.  “Now you’ll see how revenge is really taken on someone.”

 “Revenge?  What are you talking about?”

 “Continued revenge, anyway,” Lukas added.  He pointed his finger and Jesse followed it.  She shared Aiden’s smirk as she spotted what they were watching.

 Hadrian and Mevia were walking down one of the more secluded streets in town.  They chatted with each other like old friends without a care in the world.  It was then that Jesse noticed that the items Lukas had in his hands were eggs.  For a moment she wondered where they got them, but that was a question for another time.

 “Are you about to do what I think you’re about to do?” she wondered aloud.

 Lukas just gave her a mischievous grin.  He waited another minute, allowing his targets to reach the perfect spot, before he tossed one egg right at Hadrian’s head.  It splattered right into his face, the yolk sticking to his nose, and he let out a cry as he lowered his head and tried to wipe it away.  

 Mevia bent down to help him, but all this did was put her in line for Aiden’s own egg, which hit her in the side of her head.  Her blue hair turned a disgusting green as it mixed with the egg, and she stuck a finger into her ear.  Some of it must have gotten into her ear.

 Lukas and Aiden cried out in triumph, but this was a mistake as Hadrian heard exactly where the calls originated.  His head snapped up and, with a near growl, sprinted towards the trio.  Mevia wasn’t far behind.

 “Oh shoot!” Lukas yelled. “Run!”

 Lukas and Aiden were off like rockets, although Jesse was a little more delayed.  Lukas grabbed her hand and pulled her along, leading her away from the angry pair.  They ducked and weaved between the houses with Hadrian and Mevia calling out for the guards the entire time.  Jesse’s feet picked up speed at that.  The last thing she wanted was for the guards to show up.

 As Jesse was about to head down another street that seemed to lead to one of the main courtyards of the city when she was yanked to the side.  Lukas pulled her into a small alcove where he and Aiden were hiding. Lukas put his finger to his lips again and Jesse obeyed in being silent.  She heard Hadrian’s heavy boots run past her, followed shortly by Mevia’s softer but no less angry steps.  

 They waited for the sounds to fade and then waited an additional few minutes for good measure. Aiden then gave Jesse a confident chortle

 “Yes!”  Aiden cried out.  “That’s how it’s done.”

 “Oh, yeah,” Lukas added, and Jesse burst out into laughter.

 “I didn’t know I was going to be such a bad influence!” she joked as they climbed out of the alcove. “Have you done that a lot since the festival?”

 “No, this was the first chance we got,” Lukas reported.  “And we didn’t want to lose it.”

 “Oh.  Sorry.”  Jesse rubbed the back of her neck.  “I’ve got the worst timing.”

 Aiden shook his head and looked at her through lidded eyes.  “Your timing could never be bad.”

 Jesse flushed a bit at his comment and turned to Lukas to distract herself.  “So, uh…”

 “Told you that you’d get away again.”  His smile was contagious.  “Your mom out or something?”

 “She’s very busy today,” Jesse answered.  “I snuck out while I had the chance.”

 “You should sneak out more often,” Aiden added, trying to place himself in the conversation again. “We need to hang out more.”

 “It’s hard to get away,” she said.  I feel like I’ve told them this…oh, wait.  Aiden wasn’t there.  “My mother keeps a close eye on me.”

 Aiden just shrugged. “Maybe you need to be a little more rebellious.”

 “Hey, I’m rebellious!” Jesse insisted.  “Just…not to the point that I want to get in trouble.”

 “Speaking of trouble, we probably should get out of here,” Lukas suggested.  “I don’t want to take the chance that Hadrian and Mevia will try retrace their steps to try and find us.”

 “Good point.  Let’s go.”  Jesse turned to walk somewhere else, but she immediately paused and turned around.  “Um, where are we going?”

 Lukas let out a silent laugh.  “Let’s head for the inn.  We can get a snack there.”

 Jesse allowed the boys to lead her across town to a medium-sized, two-story building, surrounded by multiple other, smaller buildings that appeared to be used for storage rather than as home.  A large wooden sign simply said “Milo’s Inn” and beneath that was one of the banners with a golden egg motif on it.  It was a little shabby, with stone crumbling in a few places, but it still looked like a livable building.

 Lukas stood next to Jesse as she took in the building, not making eye contact.

 “Yeah, so, this is, uh, where I live,” he stammered.  “With my dad.”

 “You mentioned him at the festival,” Jesse recalled.  “I’d like to meet him.”

 “He’s pretty cool,” Aiden said, walking ahead of them.  “Not as cool as me, but pretty cool.”

 “Ignore him,” Lukas said, and he walked forward to hold open the entry door, leading them down a small stairway that expanded into a larger room.

 Jesse came to an open chamber and looked around, taking in every detail she could.  There were a couple tables and corresponding chairs, and to the right was a bar where a young man with black hair stood.  A door was located to the far right of the room when facing the bar.  Glowstone blocks hung from the ceiling to illuminate the room with a soft radiance. Rugs of purple lined the room and above them, on the walls, were a few smaller pictures of various items.  

 To the left was a fireplace, which also had a couple of couches in front where people could warm themselves during some of the colder months.  Next to the fireplace was a flight of stairs leading to another floor. Behind the man at the bar was a painting depicted two warriors battling each other, and Jesse guessed by their positions and lack of weapons that they were martial artists.  She had only read about them in books.  She never tried fighting without a sword, and she doubted her mother would even let her try.

 Despite the outside appearance, the inn had an incredibly relaxed feeling to it.  It was warm and welcoming, and Jesse found herself feeling completely at home here.

 “I know it’s not much,” Lukas said, embarrassed once again.  “But it’s home.”

 “It’s absolutely lovely!” Jesse declared, feeling more at ease in this room than she had in a long time in the palace.

 Her comment made Lukas’s face match the glowstone.  Aiden’s, meanwhile, darkened as he narrowed his eyes.

 “You said something about a snack?” he butted in.  “Or do I need to go get something myself?”

 “No, no.  We’ve got things.”  Lukas turned to the man behind the desk, who gave the blond a friendly smile. “Hi, Phillipe.”

 “Morning, Lukas. Aiden.”  He gave each of them a smile until his eyes stopped on Jesse. “New friend of yours?”

 “Hi!  I’m Jesse!”  She went over and strongly shook his hand.  “Nice to meet you, Phillipe.”

 “And same to you.” Phillipe said.  “What’s your pleasure?”

 “Do we still have some of that pumpkin pie leftover from the festival?”  Lukas inquired.

 “I think so.  Let me go check.”

 Phillipe went through the door on the far right, which Jesse figured led to a back room of some kind. Jesse stepped towards Lukas.

 “Wait, I never paid you back for that cake from the festival.”

 “You don’t have to pay me back,” Lukas insisted.  Aiden began tapping his foot.

“My dad says we should always share what we have, no matter how little.”

 Jesse looked down and scuffed her feet a little.  “He sounds like a good man.”

 “I like to think so,” Lukas laughed.  “Though I might be a little biased.”

 “It’s easy to get pie from another person,” Aiden announced suddenly.  He took a seat at the bar and spun around, allowing him to spread his arms along the length of the bar.  “I can craft some mean pumpkin pie.  I should do it for you sometime.”

 “That’s very sweet of you, Aiden,” Jesse replied.  “But I know it can be hard to get The Founder to approve a petition for crafting supplies. You don’t have to do that.”

 All he did in response was wave a hand dismissively.  “You’d be surprised where I can get supplies.”

 What on earth does he mean by that?

 Lukas looked like he wanted to respond to Aiden’s pronouncement, but he closed his mouth when Phillipe returned with three pieces of pumpkin pie and laid them out on the bar.

 “Here you go, lady and gentlemen.”

 “Thanks, Phillipe.”

 The three tucked in. Jesse couldn’t help but notice that the pie tasted just slightly different from the ones she previously had in the palace.  It wasn’t bad.  Far from it, in fact.  The taste was tangier than usual, and it gave her a warm feeling in her chest as she swallowed.  What was different about this one?

 Does food taste different when made by different hands? She wondered as she chewed.

 The three enjoyed their pie and conversation for quite some time.  Phillipe also joined in with a couple comments of his own.  It wasn’t like the inn was busy or anything, so there wasn’t much for him to do other than socialize.

 Jesse jumped when the front door to the inn burst open, only to be quietly closed once the new occupant saw that there was company.  His hair along with his moustache and small beard were of a similar shade to Lukas’, although he kept it partly covered by a red beret.  His clothing was scruffy, seeming to match the state of the inn perfectly.  His suspenders partly fell off his right shoulder, contrasting his brown pants instead of his grey shirt.  He carried a small clipboard, which he dropped onto the seat next to him as he plopped down in front of the fire.

 Lukas let out a low whistle. “Oh boy.”

 “Looks like your dad’s in a bad mood,” Aiden whispered.  “I think I’m going to take off, Lukas.”

 “Yeah.”  Lukas didn’t seem to pay much attention to his friend, however.  He left the remains of his pie at the bar and walked over to join the man on the opposite couch.”

 Aiden cleared his throat. “Jesse, you want to come?  I can show you a tower with a nice view of the city.”

 I’ve got the best view of the city back home.  “Maybe some other time, Aiden.”

 He pressed his lips together in a tight frown, but nonetheless exited the inn without another word.

 Jesse quietly made her way over to the pair.  She noticed how the similarities between the two were irrefutable.  This had to be Lukas’ father.  As she approached, she spotted the clipboard the man had dropped on his way in.  She recognized the form immediately.  It was a petition that citizens of Sky City had to submit in order to receive supplies from The Founder for crafting or building.  This one was simple, asking for nothing more than a book and quill.  Across the top in large, red, bold letters was the word “Denied.”

 Her eyebrows furrowed together.  Her mother had rejected a petition for something like a book and quill.  Why?  They were innocuous enough items.  What was Isa so worried about?  How could a quill and bound paper be dangerous?

 Jesse wasn’t sure if she should speak, so she just watched the two men as they whispered to each other. Lukas eventually glanced up at her. She didn’t like to see him bite his lip in such a vulnerable manner.

 “Excuse me,” she said, purposely keeping her voice down.  “I don’t mean to intrude, but are you all right, sir?”

 Lukas’ father rubbed his eyes and then looked up at her.  With shining eyes, he put on a plastered smile.

 “Hello, miss,” he said at last.  “What can I do for you?”

 “Dad, this is Jesse,” Lukas introduced.  “My new friend from the Spring Festival?”

 Jesse blushed as she sat down.  He’s talked about me?

 “Ah, so this is the young lady who’s caught my boy’s eye.”  The man stood and held out a hand.  “I’m Milo, Lukas’ father.  It’s a pleasure to meet the famous Jesse.”

 “Well, I don’t know about famous.”  In fact, being anonymous around town was her most important weapon.  “We just met at the festival and kind of hit it off.”

 Milo just chuckled.  “Hit it off, huh?”

 “Dad, cut it out,” Lukas demanded, hiding his eyes behind his right hand.

  “You saw…The Founder today?”  Jesse glanced at the clipboard, barely stopping herself from calling her Mother.

 “Yes.”  Milo’s tone immediately dropped.  “Another rejected petition.”

 “Why?  A book and quill?”  She tilted her head just slightly.  “What’s wrong with that?”

 “Nothing really.  It doesn’t have to do with the items,” he explained.  “It stems from something that happened a long time ago.”

 “The Founder’s denied Dad’s petitions for as long as I can remember,” Lukas added.

 There was a crash from behind the bar, and Phillipe let out a curse.  Everyone else stopped to look at him.

 “You okay there, Phillipe?” Milo called.

 “I’m okay!” he yelled back from the room behind the bar.  “Dropped a few boxes.”

 “I’ll be right there.”

 “I can handle it, Dad,” Lukas stopped him, standing and quickly moving to join Phillipe in the back room. “You just relax.”

 Jesse took a seat across from Milo and gave him an encouraging smile.  It must have helped, because he visibly relaxed.  He grabbed the petition from its place next to him and threw it in the fire.

 “My apologies,” he said. “I tend to get a bit surly after an audience with The Founder.”

 “Don’t worry about it,” Jesse replied.  “I’d be pretty upset too.”

  “Lukas does talk a lot about you.”  Milo gave her a small smile.  “Wish I could’ve met you when I was in a better mood.”

 Jesse glanced away for a brief moment.  “Lukas said this has happened for a long time?  Why?”

 “That is a long story. You have a few days to hear it?”

 Jesse laughed.  Guess you must have a sense of humor to cope with constant rejection.

 “A long time ago, I was just your everyday citizen of Sky City,” he described.  “Just a normal man with a beautiful wife and expecting his first child.”

 Jesse nodded and smiled. Let me guess who that child was.

“I still don’t know why Ainsley chose me,” Milo said, and his eyes floated away a little.  “I was the luckiest man alive, and I wanted to give her nothing but the best.”

 I wonder where she is now, Jesse thought, but bit her tongue. Lukas hasn’t mentioned her.  it might be a sensitive topic.

 “I wanted to grow fresh vegetables for her.  They were supposed to be good for the baby, you know?”  Milo’s glance moved back to the fire where the petition had become crackling embers.  “A few other friends were willing to give me some seeds to plant, so I put in a petition for a dirt block and, mercy me, it was granted!”

 “Well, that’s a good thing, right?”  Jesse asked. Milo exhaled loudly.

 “I thought so too, at the time.  I was so excited to build my garden, I was practically dancing!”  The spark in his eyes vanished and he sighed.  “I tripped, and I dropped my new block and it fell…right over the edge into the Void.”

 Jesse let out a small gasp. “Oh, no.”

 “I was charged with Egregious Wasting of Resources, and I was tossed into The Founder’s dungeon…”

 Wait, this is starting to sound familiar… Jesse’s eyes widened as she suddenly recalled why.  That must’ve been when Mother started being stricter about distributing dirt blocks for gardens!  Why the lines for food are so long!

 “…and I was in there for a very, very long time.”  Milo finished and then glanced up at where Lukas was still helping Phillipe at the bar. “Long enough to miss my son’s birth, and over ten birthdays after that.”

 Jesse followed his gaze and gulped.  I always thought about it like people should be allowed to build.  I never crossed my mind that a person thrown in jail would…

 “By the time I was released, my son was already grown,” he continued.  “I missed so much, all because of a dirt block.”

 “Gosh, I can’t imagine…” Jesse was speechless.  How do you comfort someone regarding something like this?

 “All I wanted was to provide a garden for my wife.”  Milo’s voice was barely a whisper now.  “And instead I all but abandoned her for years.”

 “But…” Jesse stuttered for a moment.  “It was an accident.  It’s not like you meant to drop that block into the Void.”

 “No, I didn’t, but that didn’t matter to The Founder.”  Now Milo’s words almost turned into a snarl, and Jesse couldn’t blame him.

 I knew Mother was strict, but…why would she do something like this?  Jesse couldn’t bear to meet Milo’s eye.  Her mother had made it so he missed his son’s childhood.  I guess I’ve been more sheltered than I thought.

 Jesse found her own tone becoming rather dark when she next spoke.  “That’s ridiculous.  You shouldn’t have been punished for something that wasn’t even your fault!  I bet The Founder has tripped and fallen too! Dropped things too!”

 In fact, I know she has, Jesse joked, but she kept that to herself.  No need to let Milo know that her mother in fact had two left feet when it came to dancing.  He might ask how she knew about that.

 Milo, meanwhile, was suddenly laughing, surprising Jesse a little bit.  He seemed to switch emotions in a split second.  “The Founder will accuse you of treason, with that language.”

 “I’d like to see her try,” she challenged, her head held high.  “Seriously, the laws saying people can only build and craft if she says so are absurd.  There’s some risk to building, sure, but that doesn’t mean no one should do it.”

 Milo raised an eyebrow at her, and Jesse was suddenly worried she had spoken her mind too much. She might not agree with Isa’s rules, but that didn’t mean that there weren’t plenty of citizens who agreed wholeheartedly with her.  Milo didn’t seem to be one of those people – honestly, with his past, how could he be? – but having only met the man a few minutes ago, Jesse could very well have judged wrong.

 The face he was giving her didn’t seem to be disapproving though.  If anything, he seemed to be trying to keep his lips from curving into a smile.

 Lukas finally finished what he was doing with Phillipe and joined them again.  Jesse breathed a mental sigh of relief.  Not a moment too soon.

 “Lukas, I only have on thing to say,” Milo declared, and her relief instantly evaporated with a gulp. Lukas stared at them with wide eyes. “I really like this girl.”

 “…What?”  Jesse couldn’t be sure if she said that or if Lukas had.

 “She listens really well, she’s sympathetic, and she thinks for herself,” Milo listed off, not letting his smiling eyes leave Jesse’s face.  “It’s an honor to meet you, Jesse.”

 “Oh man, what did you say to him?” Lukas inquired; his blue eyes the size of diamonds.  “Dad’s never taken to anyone so quickly before.”

 “Um, we were just talking about how unfair The Founder’s laws are?”  Jesse was barely able to keep her voice stable.

 Lukas guffawed.  “Well, that explains everything!”

 “I may be a bit biased on the topic, but anyone who stands up for her beliefs is good in my book,” Milo jested with a shrug, then gave his son a smirk.  “I can see why she caught your eye.”

 “Dad!  Will you knock it off!”

 Jesse laughed at the pair’s antics, the mood of the room no longer as glum as it had been when Milo first entered.

 Even though Milo missed a good chunk of it, at least he has a good relationship with Lukas now, she thought as Milo threatened to show Jesse some of Lukas’ baby pictures, to which the younger man simply groaned and covered his face with his hands.