#Jay like to watch me suffer

[unlikelywrestlingfan]

this match is literally people come out and beat the shit out of jay white and that's enrichment for me

[itsalwaysforyou]

one day i will write my fic idea where jal are kind of weird towards each other after the cotillion drama has died down. and they end up having a very convoluted conversation about why mal didn’t tell jay she wanted to go back to the isle…….

[brittlebutch]

The 'Enjoying watch you suffer' line in Broadcast has always been hard to pin down; Tim's leg getting broken is the biggest incident in Entry #35, so it's natural to want to tie the two together, but it seems to fit so indelicately into what we know about the timeline of totheark's internal relationship that it almost causes more problems than it resolves. However, even though it's very blink and miss it, Tim does actually manage to stab Alex in the arm before he gets knocked down -- we hear Alex cry out in pain, can see blood on the blade when Jay picks it up, and then in the recovered corrupted footage from that tape that Jay posts as Entry #36 Alex says "I did what I had to... he'd just stabbed me" -- and that injury being what totheark was trying to call attention to, to me, reads a lot more clear and consistent than anything else does

[eyes-above--the-waves]

Fuck my life, this team wants me dead.

[simpjaes]

BOOK SMART? P*SSY SMART. — P.JS

The one where Jay basically lives in the university library and you live in any and every party you can find on campus. Unfortunately, your grades are suffering over it and you need help. You’re quite lucky though because Jay is quite helpful. 

minors do not interact. 

WORDCOUNT― 10k

PAIRING― inexperienced loser jay x afab reader

CONTENT―  Jay wears glasses even tho the banner says otherwise lol, he’s also a loser ass dweeb in this, open minded and playful reader, college au, jay just rly wants to get in that but doesn't know how to

NOTE― this is a revamp, surprise surprise, nobody is shocked. was originally written for mark lee over on my other blog @/ncteez but i need jay like i need air so….cackling at the title tho, my brain is malfunctioning pls forgive me

smut tags under cut:: 

smut tags :: MONSTER COCK AGENDA. Jay is a pervert and smells ur towel lmao, mentions of food and detailed popsicle eating,  reader is very vocal and talkative, slight use of the pet name “pretty”, a lot of cum, cream pie, unprotected sex, mention of bc pills, Jay has a huge cock and he didn’t even know it, inexperienced Jay, experienced reader, finger sucking, nipple sucking, grinding, oral (f recieving), Jay gets on his knees, making out, sex on a table

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

         It wasn’t shocking that you were failing but it was shocking that not a single one of your friends were failing with you. They somehow managed to keep their grades up while partying just as often as you do. You don’t know how the hell they did it and you also don’t know why the hell they refuse to help you study now that they’ve seen your failure.

         Not the greatest friends, you think. They won’t help you study because they only have time to study their own classes and to continue partying without you, apparently. You knew you had to come to terms eventually that these people aren’t your friends. They’re just people to party with, people to have fun with, and apparently, people that will watch you struggle.

         It’s frustrating to walk home from classes by the run-down houses with booming music already playing. Without fail, every time, you wish you could be attending instead of studying. It’s even more annoying when you give up on your studies because you’re just not fucking getting it, and you probably would be fucking getting it if you were at a party talking to potential boyfriends or fuckbuddies. 

         Fairness in the world is so hard to grasp. Someone else always has it, but never you. The worst part about all of this is that you’re very aware of how lucky you actually are, you wasted away in college and allowed yourself to get this low simply because you were lucky enough to be well-liked. You prioritized the pointless things over the important things, and now you’re suffering for it. Complaining that you can’t attend parties, looking like a bore to your friends who pity and are embarrassed by you for not being able to multitask like everyone else.

         That’s right. You can’t party and study like everyone else, so maybe now it’s time to focus on the task you’d pushed aside for so long.

         Studying. Ugh.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

         You don’t know Jay past the fact that he is in at least three of your classes, extremely quiet, and constantly in the library when you pass by to leave the campus. You’re a little bit ashamed to admit that the majority of people you are well-liked by are the people who are ignoring you right now. The only choice you have is to find someone that can help you catch up on all of the studies you’ve blatantly abandoned. You could go through the student center and “officially” attend tutoring sessions with someone who would likely scoff at you for not getting it, or you could find someone of your own choice to help you. 

         That’s the only reason Jay comes to mind. Again, he is in three of the four of your classes. Every semester, without fail, you’ll look for your name on the dean’s list knowing that it’ll never show up, but you have seen Jay’s name on that list more times than you care to remember. 

         Jay knows of you as well. The girl who cut in front of him in the cafeteria to grab coffee with her large group of friends, making him ten minutes late to be early for his class. The girl who loudly slammed a book down in the library and nearly gave him a heart attack, the girl who came into class stumbling and giggling with one of the guys, clearly still tipsy from the night before. 

         You are everything that Jay isn’t. You are everything he avoids when accepting friends into his life, and his interest in you doesn’t really go past the point of having a stubborn, pretty girl to look at. He is a man after all. A man who is finally away from home, surrounded by hormonal women and men who can’t see past their brain fog of sexual fantasies in class. Never towards him though, he’s usually just on the outside looking in. 

         Jay has those fantasies too, but it isn’t his focus. He is dead set on being a top student, one that people recognize on the academic end rather than the partying end of it all. So, here he is, sitting with his nose in a book, glasses sliding down every few minutes as he munches on a pack of crackers. He’s been here for three hours already and finds comfort in the silence of the library. It’s such a vast place with so many corners to hide in if someone were to come and disturb his peace. Today is no different from any other Friday, where few students choose to study and instead opt for one of the various frat parties or bar hops. 

         You wish you could be one of those people, truly, but instead, you’re making your way to the library in search of Jay. The one student who you assume may actually take you up on the offer of study sessions. You imagine his shocked face when you sit in front of him, and you try your best not to imagine a look of disgust rather than approval. You need Jay now, for the first time in your life, more than ever. His knowledge of the three out of four classes you have will surely work wonders on your GPA, you will probably have to admit how much you’d be relying on him in order for him to even consider your offer too.  

God, you hate begging.

The library is so deafeningly silent when you walk in. You can’t hear even the slightest of a whisper as you walk around and peek into the many empty study rooms and cubicles. After several minutes of searching, the anxiety bubbles up inside of you. What if he decided to do something else? Of all days? The one day where he is needed to be studying? 

Just as you turn to leave, ignoring the entire second floor of the library, you nearly walk straight into him. And by nearly, you actually do  walk directly into him. 

Books clatter to the floor, Jay sighs as he looks down without making eye contact with you. It’s not the first time he’s been walked into and it probably won’t be the last. He is forever wishing that people could just watch where they’re fucking going.

“Hey, I’m sorry–” You go to say as you lean down to help him pick up the mess, he still doesn’t look at you though. Honestly, he barely even notices you there with those airpods in his ears and eyes on the floor. 

To be fair, most people who walk into him just continue walking, so…

         When he does take note of another person helping him retrieve his things, he looks up. You’re not shocked that all he does is nod at you when he takes the book from your hands and makes his way back towards his study space. 

         In an awkward way, you follow him. You feel dumb and kind of lost in this world of books and good students. Up the stairs, towards the floor you’d not even bothered to check, Jay unintentionally leads you to his little corner that already has papers and books laid out. 

         You swallow hard when he takes his seat and looks up to see that you have followed him. Jay is quick to swipe one of his AirPods from his ears and you can kind of tell that he instantly went from relaxed to nervous.

“Uh–” You look around, feeling awkward standing there. “I was looking for you.” 

“Me?” Jay questions with a soured look on his face. He doesn’t really do it intentionally, it’s just, like, what? 

 “Why?”

“Okay, just hear me out.” You start, taking a few steps forward and inviting yourself to sit at his table. There is absolutely no arm space on this side, but that doesn’t entirely matter. You begin your pitch.

“I know it’s kind of weird, but, I’m failing.”

“That’s not weird.” Jay mocks, shaking his head and moving to put his airpod back in his ear.

“Wait! Just, please–hear me out.” You plead now, a little frustrated that he’s already refusing to help you.

         He looks around and then lets out a deep sigh. Rubbing his temples, he nods.

“I know we aren’t the type to like, help each other or whatever– but I’ve asked all of my friends, and they kind of blacklisted me…you are my last resort, I swear.” You say, begging with your eyes. “Can you please just help me study for like, one day a week?”

         His body is stiff and his face is unimpressed by your pitch. 

“An hour a week?” You adjust clapping your hands together to plead even harder. You very nearly start to grovel on the ground before him. “Jay, please. I need to get my grades up.” 

“If you had just given yourself a day a week, you wouldn’t have to be asking someone you’ve never even spoken with to help you study.” He rolls his eyes, still mocking and appearing a bit cocky at the sudden power he’s been given. Of course he only gets approached when someone needs something from him. 

 “How many classes are you failing?”

“I’m failing three classes and have a C in another–” You shamefully admit. “Just an hour a day, please.”

         Jay eyes you over, shifting a bit in his seat before letting out another sigh. 

“Finals are barely a month away.”

“I know! I’ve already got extra credit lined up so I can at least get my grades up by a letter but– I,” You look down, more ashamed than before.

“You don’t know how to actually do the extra credit, do you?” Jay finishes for you and is, for some reason, shocked when you nod. 

         He can see the panic in your eyes, and he noticed for the past week that you’d been looking incredibly tired around campus. Not the hung-over type of tired either. He’s noticed you move your seat closer to the front in one of the classes and even noted that you’re actually taking notes during your time spent there. Maybe he should help you out. If not for the fact that you genuinely seem to need it, but also maybe because he’s like, incredibly aware that he is attracted to you.

 He always has been, but that’s not the fucking point. 

“Okay, you can come study with me whenever you want then. I usually study here because I have a roommate who isn’t exactly the quietest person–” He goes to explain. 

“I have an entire apartment to myself, you can come study at my place. Really, I’ll make food and everything.” You panic, still trying to sell the idea despite him already accepting your offer. 

         Jay is a little shocked and offended that you have your own apartment, and yet you’re failing your classes. No way in hell are you paying for that yourself. This only prompts him to want to help more. Because, like? An entire apartment to study in? Where a pretty girl makes his food? 

“Okay, that can work. What days and times can I be over?” He follows up with a nonchalant nod, noting the three shared classes and the one other you’ll probably need help with. He hopes he’s already taken the outlier class, otherwise he won’t be much help in that regard. 

“You can walk home with me after those classes if you want, and we can study until you’re ready to leave?” You offer. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be every day, but–”

“We can meet up after every class and decide if you want to study or not.” Jay finishes for you yet again, and you nod with a smile. 

“What’s your favorite food?” You ask, wanting to make a mental note of keeping your end of the bargain. 

         Jay thinks hard at that because being put on the spot like this makes answering any question a bit difficult. 

“Here–” You hold out your phone. “Put your number in and you can think about it. I’ll text you so you have mine.”

 You can’t wipe the smile off of your face, the anxiety is practically dissolving from your body at the very idea of someone being willing to help you in the comfort of your own apartment.

         He, on the other hand, is a bit more anxious now. He realizes that now, he’s going to be studying with you. A girl who had never even looked at him twice during the semesters you’ve shared classes. He’s putting his number into your phone, and you’re going to be texting him, and spending time with him instead of going to the parties that he’s never invited to. 

“I’ll see you on Monday?” You ask in his silence, sending a quick text to him so that he can save your number. He nods and looks down at his books. “Don’t forget to text me what you want to eat, okay?”

         He nods again as you stand to walk away. He watches intently at the way you have a little bounce in your step and can’t help but feel his cheeks flushing. God, why is he doing this to himself? 

         Slamming his head on the desk, he, much like you, cannot stop smiling now. All thoughts of studying for the remainder of the night left his head and were replaced with his new study schedule. He thinks he will try and take it easy this weekend, specifically so he is mentally prepared. He’s only talked to you for a total of fourteen minutes and he’s already lost his ability to study and think clearly. 

If he’s lucky, the two of you will pass this semester with flying colors. There’s still that tiny part of him though, that wonders if maybe you’d find interest in him, and maybe he will fail the semester with you because, honestly, you are so distracting.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

         On Monday, you sat up straight in class while eyeing the back of Jay’s head most of the time. Mostly to prepare yourself for if and when he makes a break for it. He hasn’t even texted you what he wants to eat today, and part of you wonders if he went back on his promise to you. Not that it was much of a promise in the first place, anyway.

         He was a little shocked that you weren’t the first out of the room once everyone wrapped up though. Like you, he was assuming the same thing. You’d make a fucking break for it and pretend you never approached him in the first place. After all, It was common for you to leave mid-way through class or be the first one out the door. Instead though, he finds himself proud of you. You stood there awkwardly looking at him as the room emptied out, clearly unsure of what to do or say to him.

         Jay nods your way as if to beckon you towards him. 

“You’re still wanting to study today?” He asks with a brow raised in surprise. 

All weekend he had thought about it. Thought about the possibility of it just being a joke to you, or maybe that you’d change your mind and allow yourself to flunk out like you already had been doing. His heart kind of jumps a bit noticing you looking at him like this. 

“Yeah? Wasn’t that the plan?” You ask, nudging him a bit once you get up beside him. “You didn’t text me what you wanted to eat so you’re just gonna have to eat whatever I have in the fridge, by the way.”

         Jay nods, opting to stay silent at this moment. He’s going home with you. He’s going to be seen on campus walking home with you. He’s not the sort to want attention, but this situation feels dangerously attractive to him. Especially when he takes note of how you’re probably going to look all…cozy and at home in your apartment. Like, he gets to be in your space teaching you things that you should have already known. 

         It all shouldn’t be so exciting. After all, his days are filled with the typical boring sessions of reading, writing, noting, and memorizing. It is exciting for him though. Never has he studied with someone like you, or really even gotten to talk to someone that most of the men speak to, the unreachable men no less. The ones with families that own the city, and all the houses in it.

You’re one of the unreachable women on campus, he thinks. The ones with standards based on fun, attractiveness, and chaos rather than charisma, personality, and knowledge. It’s kind of a once-in-a-lifetime thing for Jay to be doing this right now.

“Okay, so...” Jay drones out, avoiding eye contact with you as he packs things into his ratty backpack. “I’m not super hungry right now but–we are going to your place right?”

He needs the confirmation himself if he’s being honest. Nothing would suck more than assuming and being proved wrong.

         You nod with a smile, grabbing his hand as soon as he throws his backpack on. It isn’t intimate to you, but for him, it’s…something. Holding his hand is reserved for intimate relationships with family or girlfriends. He never holds hands.

 He’s never really gotten the chance to anyway, aside from a little cousin when they were crossing the street last summer. He can’t help but buckle in on himself in a shy sort of way as you lead him from the room and out of the building. 

         You’re rambling about all of the things you need to study. All of the snacks you could offer to him. All of the hours you wish you hadn’t wasted partying, yet, all he’s thinking about is how warm your hand feels in his. You seem to be a natural at talking to people. Touching them without a single worry in the world, it’s kind of nice, he thinks. The fact that you aren’t ashamed to be seen together with him, heading towards the place you sleep. Sometimes Jay forgets that this is college. No one actually cares who is hanging out with who unless they are in the middle of a raunchy frat party, seeing their love interest getting touched against a dirty bathroom counter. 

         He smiles to himself as he finally catches up to you and allows you to stop dragging him around. He keeps pace with you now, resting his hand as if to allow you to let go, but you don't. 

“Just around that corner–” You say,  glancing over at him and noting the shade of color his face has become. “You good?” 

         Jay nods, staying quiet and trying to force himself out of his thoughts. He glances down at your hand holding his and then back up at you on instinct. 

“Ah, sorry.” You mumble, releasing his hand and trying hard to understand that maybe you truly are too clingy with most people in your life. You think his reaction was kind of cute though, and now you’re a little determined to help him relax those stiffened shoulders. Jay can’t be as boring as he seems, right?

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“I have peanut butter and jelly, eggs, noodles, some leftover pizza and–”

“I’m not hungry, but If I can have some water or something, that would be cool.” Jay cuts you off, slipping off his shoes in an immaculate show of how clumsy he is. You can hear the clatter of your entire coat rack falling to the floor due to his weight leaning on it through that single task. 

“Okay–” You side eye his mess with a slight smile. “Water, got it.”

 You trail off to get him the drink, keeping a small mental note of how nervous he appears to be right now. He’s panicked, frantically trying to balance your coat rack back in place as if you hadn’t walked directly into him just the Friday before. 

“Jay, it’s just a coat rack.” You laugh with water in hand, hearing him mutter a sorry as he hangs one of your empty purses back onto it.

“Thanks.” He says now, reaching out for the drink.

         Watching his eyes go from the glass of water to your apartment, you smile at the look on his face. Such a smart guy acting so incredibly stupid the moment he’s alone in an apartment with a girl. Cute.

“Is this good?” You ask as if you’re offering a change of subject so that he doesn’t have to think about the coat rack he had just knocked over. You point over to your dining table that’s placed perfectly in a little nook against a window and look at him as he stands in place. “We can start whenever you’re ready?”

“Can you show me to the bathroom first?” Jay blurts, hyper-aware of his awkward demeanor. He needs to calm himself down before even thinking about sitting down to fucking study. 

   You point to the bathroom quickly, making your way to the table and adjusting everything so there is space for the piles of books soon to be laid on it. You watch only a little bit at how Jay makes his way over to said bathroom in a show of not-so-confident body language. He seemed kind of cocky on Friday, but today he seems to be like jelly. 

         You sit at the dining table without thinking much more of the man in your bathroom, instead, you pull out some textbooks and lay them out.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

         Jay stares at himself in the mirror, he can practically see the blood rushing to his cheeks and ears as he comes to terms with the fact that he probably shouldn’t have agreed to come to your apartment to study. You’re attractive. That alone is a reason in his head to avoid it, but he’s here and he’s already made a fool of himself. 

         He slaps his face a bit with some cold water and tries to will himself to stop acting like such an awkward idiot. Surely you’ll pick up on his inability to talk to women if he doesn’t get it together, right? You’re going to think he’s some weirdo, a pervert maybe, before throwing him out and avoiding him forever.

         Staring harder at himself, he waits for the color to run from his face so that way he can get out there and start the study session, but then his eyes start to wander. 

         Your bathroom is immaculately clean save for some makeup stains on the counter and a few stray hairs that must have been yanked out of your head while you attempted to brush out a night of drinking. It smells fresh and your perfectly hung towels look plush hanging against the wall. Without a thought in his head, he leans towards the towel so that he can dry his face and hands, and that’s just what he does. Except, maybe he buries his face into the towel a bit longer than he needed to, and maybe the smell of it was so astronomically sweet that he nuzzled against it even more.

         He could tell the towel had been used at least once though, solely because he could smell a scent that wasn’t the soap on the counter, nor any laundry detergent he’s aware of. Then…his eyes flick to the actual hand towel that he somehow missed, right beside it? A lace bra. The flush comes back to his face, making him feel even warmer than he did when he entered the room. Which feels like a fucking nightmare if he’s being totally honest. 

         It dawns on him again. He’s in your apartment, smelling your towels, and staring at your bra. Coming to the bathroom in an attempt to calm down has done nothing more than make things worse, and the only option he has now is to stumble out of the bathroom hoping you assume he was in here doing number two rather than planting his face into a towel where you dry off your naked body. 

         Mumbling to himself, Jay prepares himself to face you. Sure, you probably see nothing out of the norm if he does well and hides the fact that he’s hyper-sensitive just for being in your space, then again, Jay has never been the best at playing pretend.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

You offer him a bright smile once he finally makes his way back into your living space and seats himself at the table. He seems to be avoiding eye contact with you, bashfully pulling his own books out of his bag with shaking fingers. 

“Are you okay? You sure you don’t want a snack or something?” You look at him, head tilting at him in concern. 

Jay finally looks at you and notes how comfortable you seem while he feels like he’s internally falling apart. There shouldn’t be any fucking issue in his head when it comes to this situation, but here he is, panicking because a pretty girl is in front of him. 

He feels so dumb, so obvious, so embarrassed. Yeah, maybe he should eat something, at least so he can buy some time to focus on something else before he starts stuttering through your studies. At this rate, all you’re going to learn about today is how awful Jay is around women. 

“Maybe I should eat, yeah–” He says in a small voice, still staring at the books as he places them on the table.

“Come look in my kitchen, we can eat something together?” You offer, reaching toward his hand. 

He pulls back from your touch and tries to play it off casually like he was just reaching for a pencil, but you didn’t miss the fact that his hands were cold and shaky.

Taking note, it starts to dawn on you. You’ve dealt with men like him before, and it was always an interesting situation. To check your theory, you rise from the chair and lean over the table, being sure to squish whatever cleavage you have visible to make it more visible to him. 

“Salty or sweet?” You ask, watching his eyes intently and the way they struggle to reach your face. Score one for you, Jay is definitely a man above all. Luckily for him, you have lots of experience in that field, while he appears to have very little in the field of women. 

“W-what?” He drones out, pulling his eyes away from you in an attempt to hide the way his face immediately flushed. 

“The snacks? Savory or sweet?” You laugh, propping yourself back from the table and hopping into the kitchen, checking behind you to see if he follows.

He does stand to follow, but by the time you round the corner, he isn’t behind you like you figured he would be. Peeping your head around the corner, you watch as he holds his hands in front of his groin, looks down at himself, and then lets out a deep sigh. You then watch as he adjusts himself in his pants, uncomfortably hiding a semi-hard on so that he could come into the kitchen without suspicion. 

By this point, you’ve already decided that studying will very likely not be part of today’s schedule. He wouldn’t be able to focus on a damn thing like this, right? You should help him, right?

“Took you long enough.” You joke as he appears in the kitchen, turning to look at him and intentionally trailing your eyes down his body just to see if you can see any sort of bulge. He’s safe though because he apparently must have skills in hiding his arousal during the worst times. 

Jay, on the other hand, can already tell that your shift in mood is intensely different compared to before he went to the bathroom. Twice now you’ve been blatant towards him and it is not helping him at all right now. Is he reading it wrong because he’s very obviously horny right now? Were you really trying to dangle your breasts in front of him like that? Are you really checking him out right now? 

“Sorry–” He looks down. “I– uh, I dropped something.” He offers as an excuse, uncomfortably trying to shift from your view and avoid eye contact. 

“Sure.” You say with a roll of your eyes, knowing full well that he was hiding his cock. “I want something sweet. Sounds good?” You change the subject, reaching out and running your fingers down his arm. 

He swallows hard, stiffening his shoulders and nodding to you. Without hesitation, you let your fingers stay against him for a few seconds longer, keeping eye contact with him before turning and opening a cupboard. 

“Peanut butter crackers, cereal, and oatmeal.” You deadpan, slamming the cupboard and stepping to the fridge. “Pudding.” Then you open the freezer. “Popsicles, and ice cream.”

Jay just stands there when you close the doors to the fridge and look at him in question. He could opt for the crackers but his throat is already dry enough. Choking right now would be even more humiliating. Cereal could work but that would be embarrassing too, for some reason. Oatmeal is an option, solely for how disgusting it looks, surely it would tame his boner. 

But, popsicles? Hell no.

“Grab whatever you want, I'm eating a popsicle.” You say, raising a brow and throwing open the freezer door again to take your pick.

Of course, it’s  intentional. It’s fun to see his eyes light up at the very idea of seeing you eat a popsicle, and even more fun to imagine how flustered he’s going to be in mere minutes.

Jay looks to the floor and heads towards your fridge, also opting for a popsicle despite his very recent internal protest. Mostly so you don’t think he’s a pervert when he inevitably sees you eat it. But also, like, just in case you really are trying to flirt with him right now, at least his lips will taste sweet too. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

You had expected Jay to get flustered, and boy did he. What you didn’t expect though, was to become flustered yourself by the image of Jay’s tongue darting over sweet ice, and then over his own lips to suck up the melted and sticky juice. The only image in your head right now is the idea of if he would lick his lips like that if you were to spread your legs for him. Would he lick up your mess on his face, chasing the flavor the same way he’s doing right now?

A dull ache begins to spread throughout your body as you watch him. His eyes still avoid you but you manage to catch him a few times. Each time he makes eye contact with you, your gaze shoots to his lap just to see if he’s gotten hard enough for his cock to leave its tucked position in his waistband. 

Jay is hyper-aware now too, with the way you’re staring and almost leaving your popsicle unattended as he eats his own. He feels confused, like? Are you doing what he was actively avoiding doing to you? Jesus, you really are kind of a whore, god.

By the time the popsicles are finished, your fingers are sticky from allowing it to drip down the stick. You make a point to suck each of your fingers innocently, looking under your lashes at him for split seconds as you begin to shuffle through the papers on the table. 

“So–” You say, popping one finger out of your mouth and inserting another. “Can we start here? I need to have a paper written on at least one topic on this list and have no idea how to find a good source to read from.”

Jay hears and sees you in tunnel vision right now, but he manages to catch the ass end of your sentence and begins to try and focus on the studies at hand. Still watching you suck your fingers into your mouth, he clears his throat and places his own popsicle stick onto the table, pretending he doesn’t wish your tongue would lick him like that.

“I wrote mine based on this topic, and I found a lot of good sources for it. I don’t think our professor would think too hard about us choosing the same subject–” 

“Yeah, especially because it’s me. They’d never guess you’re in my apartment right now.” You laugh, smirking over at him. 

“I would’ve never guessed either–” Jay says without thinking, barely processing how embarrassing he is before you squint at him with a wider smile. 

“Oh yeah?” You ask, raising a brow and leaning forward. “Why’s that?” 

Jay tries to look around but now can’t seem to force his eyes away from you. A much different circumstance compared to before when he couldn’t bring himself to look at you. There’s a connection here, he can feel it. You’re definitely coming onto him and you have been for the past however long he’s been here.

“You’re kind of out of my league, don’t you think?” He laughs more at himself than he does the situation, and to you, he honestly looks pitiful after saying that. It’s incredibly attractive to you in the way he seems to praise you for being a failure simply because he’s attracted to you. At least, that’s the case if you’re reading him right.

“Who said someone like you couldn’t teach me a thing or two?” You have a smile in your voice, and it comforts him, but that comfort is shot down when you stand on your feet and walk over to him. “Who says I’m out of your league?” You ask again, watching him scoot back with his chair as you come closer.

You prop yourself against the table, essentially blocking him from his books and papers. You look down at him now, dipping your head in a playful way. “I don’t think I’m out of your league.” 

Jay notes how you’re between him and the table now. You look comfortable leaning in front of him like this, and when his eyes trail up to your face all his body can do is give in. He looks at you through large eyes, the overhead light is sparkling through them at you. 

In that instant, you can see his embarrassment fill his body because he’s no longer resisting the urge to be himself. He’s staring at you as if you could be a god and saying nothing in response to your words. 

“If anything, Jongie–” You soothe him, grabbing one of his hands and smiling at the way his pen immediately falls out of his grip. “You’re out of my league.” 

He blinks up at you, soaking in the words and not yet understanding in full what you’re doing until he feels warmth enveloping the entirety of his hand and wrist. 

“Do you know how lucky I am that you’re here right now?” You ask him, basking in the way you can see his breath get caught in his throat. “How lucky I am that you’re not only smart but hot too?”

He dips his head at this, a bashful show of your words having an impact on him. He hides his face briefly against his arm and then he realizes–

“Is this okay?” You ask, holding his hand in place as you begin to move your hips against his palm.

Jay watches the way you’ve managed to pull his hand out and plant it between your legs, all so you could grind against it without so much as a warning. He’s not against it though, if anything, his head is shot back to reality and he’s immediately back to glancing around the room and avoiding the scene in front of him.

His palm is against your literal, dampening panties, and all he can think to say right now is, “You could write your thesis on human connection and its effects on the brain.” 

You smile at his attempt to continue to study through this moment.

“I could,” You say with a deeper voice than before, feeling the way his hand stays relaxed in your grasp as you grind against it. “Or we could think about how your brain is being affected right now?”

Jay groans, feeling the warmth of your wet beginning to seep through the fabric, and honestly, it is happening so fast that he’s sure it would be more embarrassing if he walked out now. 

“How are you feeling?” You reword your question towards him, intentionally swiveling your hips so that you can position his fingers into your underwear. 

“You’re warm.” Jay chokes out, eyes now zoning in on your legs slightly spread in front of him. 

You let out a small laugh at this, pulling a bit on his arm to pull him closer, but he doesn’t compute it at all. 

“Do you like it?” You ask again, this time slipping his fingers into you. You let out a deep sigh and roll your eyes back, fucking yourself gently against his fingers before you look at him.

He’s nodding, probably more thankful now that you’d worn a skirt today rather than pants. He didn’t allow himself to take note of your attire, because if he did, he would have made even more of a fool of himself. But he’s nodding now, watching the way you hold his arm in place and slide his fingers in and out of you. 

His silence is louder than his words could be right now, you think. You can feel him straighten his fingers inside of you, you can practically see him salivate at the very idea of how you’re using him right now. You’re not done though, no, no. He’s far too sweet like this, but you want to hear words.

Gently, you pull your hips back effectively slipping his fingers out of you. There, you lift his arm and examine your wetness against his fingers. You smile again, eyes now adjusting to his face rather than his wet fingers. 

Jay watches as you guide his fingers to his lip, and without a second thought, he opens his mouth to taste you against them. He licks circles around each of the two fingers, closing his eyes almost instantly so that he can relish the experience.

He no longer cares how awkward he must seem sitting here like this, letting you do all the work.

“Do you like the taste too?” You ask, releasing his hand and watching how he continues to suck his fingers. 

“Mhm–” Jay groans with his closed mouth around the digits, making damn sure to suck every bit off.

“You’re pretty, you know that?” You compliment him this time, tearing your eyes from him and slipping your panties down your legs. You turn yourself over so that you’re now bent over the table and you ignore the corner of one of the textbooks poking against your ribs, all in favor of what sound Jay will make when he opens his eyes. 

“You can taste more, if you want.” You offer, lifting to look behind you at the way his fingers drop from his mouth and his eyes immediately zone in on your bare pussy displayed for him under your hiked-up skirt. 

He does let out a whimper, one that seemed entirely desperate to do just that for you but–he doesn’t move. He just stares, soaking in the words you’re saying, memorizing each fold and dip in your glistening pussy.

You don’t intend to wait though. Reaching behind you, you grab the back of his head by his hair and guide his face to you. The way you can hear his chair tip over as he falls to his knees makes you quiver a bit before him, and you’re almost surprised to not just feel a face against you. It appears that Jay does know what he’s doing. 

He instantly jumps into action, loving the feeling of your hand in his hair basically telling him to do it. Giving him that green light, letting him.

You can feel his tongue exploring and his other hand reaching to lift your skirt entirely over your ass. His tongue is soft, warm, wet, and so entirely eager to lick and suck every inch of you. It’s not until he starts allowing his moans to vibrate into your flesh that you hike one of your legs up and open your cunt against his working tongue more.

Guiding him by his hair still, you press his face harshly into you with little to no fight for air from him, and you’re loving it. Loving the way he whines for more when his tongue reaches the furthest limit, loving even more when he finally reaches his hands up to your pussy and spreads it out for himself.

He isn’t even thinking at this moment, just tasting and feeling you guide his tongue as if this is what you wanted all along. The thought alone of someone like you wanting to fuck his tongue like this sets his cock on fire in so many ways. He’s so hard right now that it hurts to think about it at all. Jay doesn’t give a single fuck about how pathetic he must sound to you right now, whimpering and panting against you as if this was the only sweet thing in your apartment he wanted to eat anyway. 

You hear a clatter to the floor, knowing for a fact that he’s knocked his glasses off of his face from the angle in which he skewed his neck in order to fuck his tongue into you. You wonder what’s going through his mind right now, because goddamn he’s eating you out like it’s the only thing he’s ever wanted. He’s impressively messy and loud with it too, making you feel as if you must taste like the sweetest thing on earth to him. 

For some reason, thinking back to all of the non-sexual situations you’d passively seen Jay in? It turns you on even more. The big-brained student who is constantly making straight As and never going out to parties eats pussy like this? Eats your pussy like this? Better than half of the men you’d already been with? Jay doesn’t miss a single centimeter of it,  and you can tell he’s focusing on you more than he has ever focused on his homework or studies before. 

You feel so deeply needed at this moment by Jay that all you can do is let out a desperate moan for him. One so that he knows he’s not the only one utterly stunned by the turn of events, but also because you’re fucking loving what he’s doing to you.

With each moan, Jay picks up his pace, using those same two fingers and spreading your cunt out impossibly wider just so he can attempt to bury his tongue deeper into the messy, wet heat you offer. He’s spreading you apart so well that it almost pains you to move without the fear of being torn open by his tongue alone. Your clit has barely even been reached but he still managed to make you feel sensitive to the point of wanting to beat your fists on the table out of sheer frustration for not approaching him sooner. 

Not only can he help you pass your classes, but he surely could make you feel like a fucking queen on top of it all, licking you open, up and down, as if he were born and trained for you and you alone? Insane.

“You’re so–” You groan out, releasing his hair from your grip but pressing your ass out more so that you can feel him slip his tongue back to your clit with impossible reach. He continues that, sliding his tongue from your clit to your entrance, dipping in and swirling the muscle before going back to your clit. All while he’s moaning, groaning, and panting against you. 

It’s too much, he’s so incredibly eager that you’re honestly too sensitive to let him keep going. You hate it when you pull your hips forward and lift from the table. Your legs are shaking when you do this, and shaking even more when you turn to face him and lean against the table again. 

“How–?” You look down at him in pleasant surprise, watching him lick his lips much like you hoped he would. “How are you so good at this?” 

Jay is stunned by your question because in all fairness, he’s only ever eaten a girl out once and like, it wasn’t that great because she made him stop within like a minute. He wasn’t really thinking about what to do with you though, or how to do it. He just…did it. That’s all. So obsessed with the taste and smell of you to the point he couldn’t stop himself even if he wanted to. He’d still be licking you right now if you didn’t move away. 

“I–don’t know.” He shamefully admits, nonchalantly moving his hands to his pants and unbuttoning them. Not to fuck you or anything, mostly just to release his cock from the chokehold of the denim rubbing against him. 

“You’re lying.” You deadpan, running your hand between your legs and quivering the moment your fingers run over your swollen clit. “There’s no way you haven’t practiced doing this.” You gasp, looking at him as if no other man exists. 

He shakes his head, looking up at you from the floor with innocent eyes. His lips are wet, his eyes are hooded, his hair sticking up from your fingers guiding him– it’s a lot to see him like this when you’ve only ever seen him as that goody-two-shoes student who doesn’t know how to have fun. Clearly, Jay knows how to have fun.

Your gaze on him makes him feel more bashful as he looks down to the floor, feeling embarrassed that you’re praising a complete amateur at this. 

Using your leg, you nudge him.

“You did all of that and didn’t even touch yourself?” You ask in curiosity, noting how he had only just now undone his pants to relieve pressure. “Let me see it.” You say again, almost demanding as you hop up on the table and spread your legs even more.

Frantic at your tone of voice, Jay stumbles to his feet and pushes his pants down to his thighs. His cock springs out and stands erect in front of you. You could stare all day, honestly. Jay, of all people? He’s the one with a cock this big? He’s the one with a size that could make you feel as if you’re being split in half? Well, fuck.

“God.” You comment, mouth falling open at the way it twitches in mid-air. “All of the girls would be fucking swooning, Jay, really.” You get a bit flustered yourself because only now do you understand who you just seduced and what he’s got to offer outside of brains. 

In all of his shyness, Jay hides his face from you again despite his cock out in all of its glory. Your mouth could honestly start watering if he hadn’t just eaten you out to the point of needing him to stop. Meaning, your throat is too dry right now to start drooling. 

Without another thought, you pull your shirt and bra off all in one go. No way in hell is he leaving without fucking you stupid with a cock like that. Absolutely no fucking way  would you let this go to waste.

“When’s the last time you’ve done anything with a girl?” You ask now, reaching for his arm and pulling his gaze back towards you, now almost completely naked save for your skirt hiked up to your waist. 

Jay stares at you again, much like he did when you spread your legs in front of him, this time zoning in on the way your nipples are erect and begging for his mouth to be put to use again. He nearly forgets that you’re talking to him because of the way you’ve presented yourself to him. The reality is right in front of his face, but he still wonders if this must be a dream.

“I–um– right out of high school before she broke up with me,” He says in a lazy voice, slightly raspy. It sounds as if it doesn’t even matter to him because he is so focused on you in front of him. “I’ve only had sex two times.”

“Aw–” You pitifully look at him. “What a waste, you’re such a pretty boy.” You coo, wiggling your hips as if to entice his cock to make its way towards you. “You’ve got the brains and the cock for it. You must feel so neglected.”

All he does is nod, because yes, he does feel fucking neglected, partly because he let it happen and mostly because he knows he doesn’t know how to talk to girls. Right now, Jay could genuinely start crying if you keep talking to him like this though. He can’t tell if you’re mocking him or being genuine, but the only thing he wants to do is bury his cock so deeply inside of you that all you can do is moan out mantras of how pretty he is again. He wants to hear you moan over how much time has been wasted without his cock inside of you, how badly you’d want him again and again after this. 

You can see his facial expressions change every few seconds and to be fair, your body yearns to be filled. With the way he is looking at you, there’s no way he doesn’t want to.

“Wanna fuck me, Jongie?” You ask, realizing that you much prefer calling him this rather than his full name because he seems to lean directly into it. 

“God,” He sighs out, hanging his head to look at the way his cock still stands painfully erect throughout the conversation. “Can I?” He asks now, making eye contact with you through pleading eyes.

You reach out for him, grabbing his waist and pressing his cock directly against your core. You lean your head back a bit to look at him and the way his eyes sear straight through your own. His pupils are dilated, his cheeks are rosy, and his lips are glistening. You lick against them, and the way he immediately starts to kiss you makes you think he’s a liar. He knows exactly what he’s doing with his mouth regardless of where it is. His tongue presses into your mouth so beautifully that you genuinely could argue that this man has only ever had sex twice. 

Maybe he’s a natural? 

Jay knows exactly when to grind his cock between your folds, knows exactly when to pull back to kiss your neck, and knows exactly how to lean you back with his hand protecting the back of your head so that it doesn’t slam against the table. 

He slips his cock so beautifully as he trails his kisses to your tits too, suckling gently against one of your nipples before he nearly can’t stand it anymore. He’s in his own world, barely recognizing that he’s not the only one experiencing this right now.

With an eager hand, Jay grabs his cock and presses it directly into you without waiting any longer. He isn’t slow or gentle with it. You can feel how desperate he is solely because of the way he can’t seem to fathom taking it slow. He doesn’t let you adjust, no. The second the head of that thick cock slips in he’s slamming in. All the way, forcing a yelp from your throat and a tight grip to his back.

He’s lost himself in the moment and you’re loving it. Loving the way his tongue picks up against your nipples, and the way there is no rhythm or rhyme to his thrusts. His size alone is enough for you, and you can admit to loving every single push and pull his body is offering.

The room is silent save for his whimpers, your gasps, and the wet sound of skin slapping against skin. You’re quick to wrap a leg around his waist so that when he presses in again, you can force him to stay in place, if just to let him genuinely feel what it’s like to have a pussy clenching around him.

“You feel it?” You groan out, feeling his teeth pinch against your nipple and sending a sharp pain down your body. 

He nods frantically, pulling your nipple with his lips as he does it. You can tell he’s drooling, wetting your chest in such an embarrassing way, but he’s so–Jay. He’s Jay. This is Jay.

You watch his face and the way he winces with each pulse of your hole quivering around the sheer size of him, and you coo out at him when his cock twitches in response. As if you can handle yourself right now, as if he can too.

Neither of you can comprehend the pleasure.

“Can’t believe I get to be your third.” You sing out. “You’re so good, so–”

“S-stop talking, fuck-” Jay calls out in a broken and choked gasp, feeling too turned on by the way you speak. He can’t help it when he forces his hips to move against the pressure of your leg trying to keep him in place. This time he fucks at a quicker pace. His mouth falls open against your breast and his hands shoot to your waist as he pulls himself up and opens his eyes. 

He watches the way your sticky cunt coats him as he slides in and out of you, fingers pressing so hard into your hips that you feel he could be bruising you. 

You’re so in awe of him losing complete control that you want nothing more than to cum with him inside of you. You quickly reach your hand down to your clit, rubbing harsh circles against the sensitive spot almost to the point that you could start crying out at how painful it truly is at this moment. You’ve never been this sensitive for a man, and yet, you’re coming undone beneath him and nearly losing as much control as he has. 

A mess of moans and groans is filling the room as Jay chases his high, and you are at the point that you want to say the nicest and dirtiest things to him out of sheer arousal. So you do, you talk, and you talk. Whispers of “girls would die to be fucked by you,” turn to screams of, “yeah, fuck Jongie, just like that!” 

It wasn’t until you moaned out, “Cum with me, now, Jongie, I can’t hold it–” when Jay ’s hips stuttered and his eyes closed tightly in a frustrated groan. “Stop–” He grunts, hips pressing impossibly hard against you. To the point that you scoot up on the table. “Stop, I’m–” He groans again, attempting to pull out so that he can release against your pulsing and empty pussy.

But you don’t let him.

Your legs hold him in place as you release your clit and pull yourself up on your arms just to grab against his neck and pull him down with you against the table. 

“Cum in me.” You nearly demand, holding his face so that he can’t look away from you.

You watch the way his pupils dilate more at the words and you feel the way his cock twitches inside of you. Then? His pupils are gone. He’s rolling his eyes back now, looking so fucking beautiful while doing it.

Jay’s eyebrows fall much like his mouth does when he cums. His hips are frantic but his face looks calm, and not a single sound releases from his lips. His breath is caught in his throat with each twitch, shooting ropes into you so deeply that you feel each wave of his pleasure hitting your cervix. 

  You’re very quick to rub your clit again, harsh and rough circles being amplified by the way his abdomen adds pressure to your hand with each push of his cock in you. It sends you over edge so fast, even he feels the clench, choking out each spurt of his remaining orgasm. 

You grab onto him harshly now, without a thought in your head besides kissing him. He kisses you back, realizing that despite having sex before, this may be the first time he’s ever made a girl cum. It’s certainly the first time he’s ever felt his cock being tugged by the walls of a pussy as it works itself through an orgasm, anyway.

Crazy thing is…he’s not done. Like, he can’t stop cumming. Lasting entirely far too long and far past sensitivity. Jay opens his eyes to look at you when you’re reaching the end of your own orgasm, all while he’s still filling you up, and even feeling his load bubble out from around him with each tight thrust. Your voice is beautifully raspy, and the way you hold onto him makes him feel like you should never let go. 

Upon his ears popping and finally emptied, he genuinely feels the mess between the two of you. Quickly, he pulls back and notes that the hem of his shirt is absolutely fucking soaked. In an attempt to take a small step back in order to remove himself from you, he nearly trips over his pants that had fallen to his ankles.

“Oh.” You laugh, wincing as you feel his cock leave you empty. “Probably should have undressed you.” Your eyes sparkle at the large damp spot, nearly making his shirt entirely see-through from just how soaked it really is. 

Jay steps out of his pants silently and just kind of stands there awkwardly, watching the cum spill from you. Then panic spreads across his face. 

“Um,” He croaks out, voice cracking almost immediately. “I– I couldn’t pull out…I’m so sorry.”

“I didn’t want you to.” You soothe him, noting how he’s right back to his awkward and shy persona the moment he’s finished fucking you. “It’s fine, I’m protected” You confirm for him, just to see the relief replace that panic.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“So–” You comment, looking down at the wrinkled papers in front of you. “You really expect me to try and write at least 1200 words tonight?” 

Jay tilts his head at you, sitting with a blanket covering his entire body as his clothes go through the cycles of a wash. “If we hadn’t gotten off track, you could already be almost done with it.” 

“God, you are such a fucking bore.” You laugh, shivering at the cold air hitting your bare skin. “I’m literally naked right now and you’re making me do this right now?” 

“Finish your paper and we can talk about that. Besides, I kind of need to recover for more than thirty minutes from that, you know? I’m sensitive.” He shoots back, not afraid to sound as embarrassing as he truly is now. 

To his surprise, you nod with a cheeky smirk. Promising you any amount of him after what happened was enough to force your focus on your school work for now at least. Just because he did it once doesn’t mean he will always want to fuck stupid girls. If anything, Jay deserves someone who respects his work ethic and need to help others right? The huge cock is just a bonus when you think about it.

You know it’s going to be a hell of a month after tonight, but for the most part, you think that studying with Jay may have been your best college decision to date. You can learn a lot from him, and apparently... he can learn from you too. You just hope he doesn’t run off and use that knowledge on other girls once he realizes he’s definitely got the ability to break hearts. 

[bdluejay]

t mobile has made it so that I will never switch to them even if they were the better option. because of that stupid overplayed commercial with the dudes from scrubs I will never buy their product out of pure rage and spite

[evnseokz]

most to least with enha hyung line: dirty talk from flirting to foreplay to making their partner cum (and even while their cumming!) thoughts? who do u think would do it often and best?

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

jay ~ praise & extended foreplay

jay is such a sweetheart in bed, making sure you’re always comfortable, and feeling good. he puts your pleasure above his own (as any man should). “doing so well, pretty,” or “good girl,” are phrases he probably uses often, he def treats you like a pillow princess, not allowing you to do any of the work. he just wants you to feel good. when it comes to foreplay i can imagine jay taking his time with you, making sure you’re properly prepped before going any further.

heeseung ~ dirty talk/praise, required foreplay

heeseung is def a dirty talker, he loves the way you respond to his voice. “fuck, you’re soaking wet for me baby,” as he eases his thick cock inside your tight pussy, you struggling to take all of it. “good girl, take it all” as he pushes the rest of himself into you. some nights his mouth is more filthy than others. foreplay for heeseung is a requirement as he suffers from big dick syndrome, but he only does the minimal amount needed to get you prepped, as he’s eager to be inside you.

jake ~ heavy flirter, minimal foreplay

its no secret that jake is a huge sweet talker, so i can imagine he’d be the same in bed. definitely making flirty comments while his cock is shoved deep inside you. “you look so pretty right now,” he’d say as he watched you unravel on his cock. he’d smirk to himself, cockiness oozing out of him. jake is the type to want to skip foreplay cause he craves to be inside you, but he also doesn’t want to hurt you so he uses his fingers briefly to prep you beforehand.

sunghoon ~ dirty talk, little to no foreplay

sunghoon def has a dirty mouth, vile even. his usual sweet demeanor absolutely shifts in the bedroom, he becomes rough and dominant. “did i say you could stop?” he’d spew at you, your legs tired from fucking yourself on his cock. “give me your mouth,” he’d bark, shoving his thumb onto your tongue and applying pressure. he’s the type to literally just plunge into you with barely any warning, foreplay completely out the window. this doesn’t mean he doesn’t make sure you’re comfortable, he’s always checking your body language and expression for signs of discomfort.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

{a.n} thank you so much for the request!! i kinda focused on foreplay and bedroom language for this, i hope that’s okay!! hopefully i understood your request properly, and i hope you enjoy <3

.

..

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[luvyeni]

SOMEONE FLIRTS WITH YOU 𖹭 엔하이픈 ( reaction ) !

genre yandere 𖹭 warning — murder , mentions of blood, kidnapping , jays bar is complicit to so many murders parings enhypen hyung line x fem reader | back to library .

— what they do when someone flirts with you.

request: could u do enhypen legal line yandere reaction to another guy sexually flirting with u?

「 authors note 𖹭 」 i hope you like it !

﹙ 𐙚 : heeseung﹚ .ᐟ

he's gonna kill them, but he wants to see them suffer first , he kidnaps them; hides them in a warehouse he uses to kill , that can't be traced back to him either. he withholds food from the guy , then water slowly killing them , but not all he does , he also beats them. all while the person is begging to be freed , or killed after a few days of torture , to which he just smiled and continues his beatings. heeseung may even go as far as to free them from their restraints, letting them go and when they go running towards the exit , he fires his gun , one shot to the persons head and down they go.

next is to get rid of the body and quickly, so he can quickly get home to you.

﹙ 𐙚 : jay﹚ .ᐟ

jay owned the club where the creep harassed you, he saw it go down , so no one bats an eye when his men drag the man away from you , and all the way back to jays office , his office with the sound proof walls. the guy begging that he was sorry and he didn't even know you were taken. "pl-please i'm sorry i didn't know she had a boyfriend , I was drunk." jay rolled his eyes watching him lie. "does it matter if we weren't together? you still harassed a lady in my bar , this time it was my last you harassed." he said. "see any decent guy would've probably knocked you cold on to the ground , unfortunately you got me." he said. "and i'm not as decent." he gave them the words , before his men proceeded to beat the guy to death.

"someone go get my baby girl , clean this mess up when you're done."

﹙ 𐙚 : jake﹚ .ᐟ

jake is emotionally unstable when it comes to you , so when he sees someone flirting with you , he goes into a blind rage , he doesn't remember following the guy into the bathroom of jays bar , all he remembers is tearfully bashing the guy's head in between the stall door , sobbing, not because he's upset at what he's doing but because he fully believes you're gonna leave him for this guy , that's why he has to kill him so he can't take you from him. "she's mine." he cries , blood is everywhere , jay is gonna be pissed at him for making such a mess , this one is gonna be hard to clean up , but he can't help it.

"she's mine and you're not gonna take her from me."

﹙ 𐙚 : sunghoon﹚ .ᐟ

kills them , sunghoon doesn't even wait , making sure no one sees him , it's jays bar so he knows there's no cameras , he follows the guy into the alley, hitting the bastard harassed you on the head with a bottle , pulling out a knife to cut his throat before the guy could even yell out for help , walking back into the bar , looking for you. "let's go." he grabbed your arm. "let's fucking go now." he drags you out the bar , he's not pissed at you for once but you don't know that and he doesn't want to let you know that.

"i handled it , but you won't be going out for a while , i'm not mad at you."

©LUVYENI

[stllmnstr]

sure thing [PREVIEW]

pairing: yang jungwon x f reader

genre: coworkers au, underground boxer jungwon

word count: TBD but likely around 20~25k

release date: nothing official but likely within the next couple of days!

note: tfw you watch the no doubt music video and then write 18k words in the span of 24 hours about office coworker jungwon that is also secretly an underground boxer hahaha relatable, right? anyway expect this soooooon

⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖

[...]

“Oh,” you startle slightly, walking into the workroom and already finding it occupied. And of course you’d run into him here, of all places. Kneeling in front of the printer, his brow is furrowed in concentration as he tries to dislodge yet another paper jam. 

“Sorry.” You’re not sure what you’re apologizing for exactly, but it feels warranted regardless. “I’ll just leave, and—”

“___,” he cuts you off with the sound of your name. Looking down at him, you're met with the expanse of his back. A button down shirt tucked into dark pants. Standard work attire that has no business looking this ridiculously good on anyone. “You’re fine. You don’t need to leave. Just give me a second, and the printer’s all yours.” 

You nod, even though he can’t see you. If the lack of a verbal response bothers him, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he busies himself with the jammed printer, muscles of his back flexing slightly underneath the fabric of his shirt as he tugs at the stubborn papers. 

Cheeks heating slightly, you force your gaze elsewhere. 

“There,” he says after another minute of adjustments. Standing to full height, he turns to face you. “All fixed.”

Looking up at him, you’re about to offer a quiet thanks when your eyes land on his right cheekbone. Specifically, the fresh cut that spans the length of it. 

The gasp the spills from your lips is entirely without permission. But you can’t quite help it. The wound is quite superficial, surface level at most, but it mars his otherwise perfect skin in a way you weren’t prepared for. 

Without your permission, your fingers start to reach towards the injury. They make it halfway before you remember yourself, before you regain your sense of reality. Your hand falls limply back to your side. 

“What happened?” You breathe. 

Jungwon’s brows draw together in confusion for a moment before a flicker of realization dances across his features. 

“Oh.” He exhales, fingers tapping against the broken skin of his cheekbone lightly. “Nothing. I just, er, fell the other day.”

“You fell,” you echo. Like all of his other excuses, it’s vague. Flimsy at best. 

“Yeah,” he confirms with a slight nod. Again, he says, “I fell.”

It’s evasive. And it feels like more than just an explanation for his injury. 

It feels like confirmation of the distance between the two of you. His final assertion that you’re nothing but a coworker to him. Someone that he tells edited versions of stories to, someone that he keeps firmly planted an arm’s length away. 

Fine. If he wants to give you shitty excuses for his Friday nights and his absences at work events and now his injury that very obviously did not come from a fall, that’s just fine with you. 

After all, he’s nothing but a coworker to you either. The upcoming date you have planned with Jay is enough to prove it. 

“Well,” you tell him, forcing a smile. The fake, disproportionately bright kind that you only ever use with your coworkers. “I hope it heals quickly.”

And then you’re brushing past him, making your way towards the printer as if he’s nothing but an obstacle in your path. 

Collecting your freshly printed document, you turn and walk out the door without so much as a backward glance. 

⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖

TO BE CONTINUED...

⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖

note: office workers AND boxers enha in one music video was crazy work so now I am forcing you all to suffer with me. I have a couple of scenes to finish off, and this piece needs a solid round of editing, but I expect to be done within the next couple of days and then she's allllll yours. if you're excited, let me know!

all the best ♡

[headspace-hotel]

some times i see people talking about the Earth and climate change saying things like "now i know it is difficult to deal with utter hopelessness, terror, and visiting the thoughts of death"

and it's like wow I am so deeply sorry about the suffering. but...concern. Concern. Tell me, am I missing something important? Why do I feel a sense of hope for our planet? Am I a lonely fool? Have I been consumed by naïveté and misguided optimism?

That would be weird. It feels weird. It feels like I would be well suited to despair. My natural temperament is Mortal Terror making my body crushed for a thousand years at the bottom of the deepest trenches of the ocean. I've thought before "I can't live any more. This exceeds the tensile strength of the human spirit."

And then? After irreversible catastrophic failure of the soul, there is...what?

We try to imagine the future where we fight to save our home and it is very painful. The resistance feels so small and the machine of death feels so vast. But something's missing.

Everyone else is missing—the plants, trees, bugs, beasts, and creatures. Hello? Are the other humans seeing this? Nature wants you to know that she is not a princess in a tower. Look! Look at the chaos moving through every cell! Iterating! Adapting! Becoming! Thriving! Watch the pollinators tirelessly at work, observe the mycorrhizal network in the forest floor distributing the rich fruits of decay and photosynthesis for every inhabitant! Pay attention! We belong here too. They feed and shelter us, give us the very air we breathe, and in return we plant and propagate, cull, thin, and burn, shape, trample, till, shepherd and sprout seeds. Our species can look toward the future, to the world of our descendants. We can call every plant and animal by name and teach our children to use and care for them responsibly. We can feel this anger, pain, and grief on behalf of the family of Life, OUR family, and we can love the smallest beetle and the humblest moss.

Look at it! This thing is nothing like me, it does not benefit me, it has no use or purpose for me, but LOOK at it! Look at its intricate structure! Look at the marvelousness of its behaviors and biological functions! Look at its uniqueness throughout the whole universe! Look at it, and see its infinite value!

I saved a baby tree from the scorching hot gravel of a parking lot. I watched it grow and thrive in the hands of its caretaker. Many more followed, trees and herbs and flowers, rescued and carefully placed in cups and old tubs that once held yogurt and sour cream. This is so strange, I thought. They're everywhere, offering themselves for free, and no one thinks to take them. Everyone thinks transplanting a tree is hard and that nothing grows on the edge of the pavement but weeds. But it's so easy??? This is weird. Plant Nurseries Hate Her: Get Free Plants With This One Weird Trick.

I protected an old barren garden patch where nothing had thrived from being mowed and weed-whacked, and transplanted little plants that I found. I marveled at the bees that came. Chicory bloomed, then asters and goldenrod. I shed actual tears over a spicebush swallowtail. I ordered some milkweed from the internet, and the monarchs came for them. Less then twenty-five bucks for a divine experience like this. Wow, everyone else really needs to know!

I started volunteering at a nature center, and was allowed to transplant flowers where they sprouted in inopportune locations. I collected tons of seeds all fall and winter long.

There is much, much more, all of it bigger than I ever would have imagined. But this spring there were more birds, in number and in species, than I'd ever seen in my back yard before. Chickadees, swallows, finches, nuthatches, jays, cardinals, warblers, sparrows, woodpeckers of every kind...I remembered just a couple years prior when all I ever saw out there was a couple grackles or starlings or robins, with the occasional sparrow. Those birds come in flocks rather than couples now. And then the bumblebee arrived. An American bumblebee, endangered now, a queen. For a few days she was always out there, would fly out and buzz around me when I came out to tend to my now-innumerable plants. It's nesting time for them. She chose this place I was creating. She saw that this place would take care of her.

A week ago, I discovered wild strawberries growing in my Mamaw's driveway. I found lyreleaf sage growing beside a gravel road. I've become a master of transplanting; I took several of each home. Yesterday, I saw a tiny, metallic blue bee, an Osmia mason bee. Today, I saw an oriole and a strange, very fancy fly. I see something new almost every day. Every day I am being irreversibly changed as a person. How did I ever fail to see how much this matters?

I said I feel hope...do I feel it? I don't think it's a feeling, I think it's a practice. It's being part of our communities and our ecosystems. Nature's interconnectedness is both reality and example: to survive, we take care of one another. And when one member of the community helps another thrive, it creates a cascade that increases the thriving of all. Just by existing, you help us all survive.

You can only take care of so many plants before you have to give some away. You can only hold so much knowledge before you have to give it away. I gave seeds to a dozen different flowers to my next-door neighbor and she invited me inside and wouldn't let me leave without food, and we talked about plants and trees. A family friend lets me have goats' milk and heirloom vegetables in exchange for help around the farm, and I listen to him talk about trees, bugs, and soil and learn so much I feel like I'm about to explode from knowledge.

Being a caretaker is unavoidably a community-oriented, community-forming thing. You can't grow plants all by yourself. Your garden will make too many tomatoes. Share them. Your milkweed will make hundreds and hundreds of seeds. Spread them. Wild blackberries invite you to take and eat. Your lonely retired neighbor invites you to talk and keep her company. Once you grow delicious fruits or little oak trees, you always have a reason to greet someone and say, "Look, it is a gift!"

We're not alone. We are not separate. We take care of each other. Every species, every individual. A single action of caretaking creates a cascade effect of thriving. A single unapologetic love for a creature creates a blossom of curiosity and fascination in everyone surrounding. It's so powerful.

As my chemical romance says "I am not afraid to keep on living"

[orimuraa]

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡ Oh baby I just really love you - OT7

(synopsis) *ੈ𑁍༘ when your sick, the only person who can aid you back to full health is your lovely boyfriend ༘⋆✿

ot7 enhypen x fem!reader *ੈ𑁍༘ sick fic*ੈ𑁍༘ enha takes care of reader *ੈ𑁍༘ reader is sick *ੈ𑁍༘ fluff, crack *ੈ𑁍༘ petnames, kissing, cuddling *ੈ𑁍༘ wc 1k

༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆

𝑳𝒆𝒆 𝑯𝒆𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒖𝒏𝒈 - 이희승

“baby, i’m coming in now okay?” your bedroom door opened to reveal your lovely boyfriend holding two bags full of supplies. one bag contained medicine, heat packs, tissues, and a thermometer. and the other one contained your favorite takeout food. currently, you were lying in bed with an awful cold you had caught mysteriously. unfortunately, heeseung did not listen to your instructions to not come over as you didn’t want to get him infected either. “seungie? i thought i told you to stay home! i don’t want to give you this cold!” you pouted. you weren’t mad at all, but you just knew that you would feel extremely guilty if you got herseung sick too. “and let my girl be alone, sick? never!” he replied, placing the bags down on your desk. after giving you the medicine, you two were now snuggled up, watching a disney movie together. “if it means that your are not alone and well taken care of, i would get sick for you any day,” he said, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead.

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑱𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒈 - 박종성

when you had sent a quick text to your boyfriend, jay, you never meant for him to come over and pamper you. so here you were, stationed on the couch while you watched your handsome boyfriend work away in the kitchen, making a bowl of soup to help get you better. “jongie, you didn’t have to do all this,” you pouted, his actions touching your heart so deeply. “but i wanted to princess. i can’t just let you suffer all by yourself,” he smiled softly, setting down the bowl of soup on the table in front of you. “and i know what you’re thinking in that pretty little head of yours. i don’t care one bit if you get me sick. you’re my sweet angel who deserves all the care in the world” he said while feeding you a spoonful of soup. “thank you jongie. for everything.” he placed a kiss to your cheek before spooning up another spoonful of soup.

𝑺𝒊𝒎 𝑱𝒂𝒆𝒚𝒖𝒏 - 심재윤

“sweets??? are you here??? are you alive???” jake barged into your apartment in a frantic manner due to his precious angel (you) saying how you couldn’t make your date because you had caught something. “i’m here! don’t worry yunnie! i’m just resting in bed” you couldn’t help but smile to yourself at jake’s cuteness and puppy-like behavior. “oh thank goodness! i thought you had died when you didn’t answer my texts sweets!” he sulked, forming an adorable pout. “oh sorry about that. i think i dozed off” you chuckled, playing with his hair a bit. he pulled some medicine out of his pocket and gave it to you along with a bottle of barley tea. the!, he took off his puffer jacket and snuggled right beside you in bed, holding you close. he planted kisses all over your face, ignoring your little protests saying how you were gonna get him sick too. “anything for my princess.”

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒏 - 박성훈

sunghoon would probably be the most chill about it but that doesn’t mean he isn’t worried as heck for you. he would speed right on over to your place, with medicine, a new plushie (because you obviously need more), and some cheesy movies to watch. when he would show up, he would be calm and just ask if you were okay and what symptoms you had, but on the inside, he would be totally panicked about your health. getting you the medicine you needed and grabbing a couple snacks, sunghoon put on the movies on his laptop and let you rest on him. “thank you for coming hoonie. you really didn’t have to,” you said, looking up at him. “of course i would come doll. you’re my number one priority” he smiled, pulling you closer to him.

𝑲𝒊𝒎 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒐𝒐 - 김선우

sunoo would be so worried for you and would be there right away. “baby? are you doing okay?” he would instantly check for a fever and then hand you some medicine. “hi sunnie, i’m sorry to burden you,” you frowned. “oh no no no angel!! i always want to help! you’re never a burden babyyy. i love you so so much, that’s why i’m here!” he reassured you, placing his hand on your cheek gently. he would go and run a warm bath for you to just warm you up, putting on a k-drama for you two as you soaked in the warm bath. he had you secured in his arms, kissing you every once in a while. once the bath ran cold, he would wrap you up with blankets in bed, and let you nap while laying there with you, rubbing your back calmly.

𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒘𝒐𝒏 - 양정원

“your savior is here!!” jungwon would burst through the door, holding multiple bags of stuff for you and his comfiest clothes the minute you told him you were sick. his leader instincts also came with the protective and caring side which made him feel the need to smother you with all the care and treatment (also cause he’s your boyfriend). “maeum says to get better as well!” he smiles, his dimples showing. this makes you laugh and you’re so appreciative of jungwon trying to lighten your mood. “thank you wonnie, i just don’t wanna get you sick” you said, shifting over in your bed to make room for him. “no! i will always take care of you jagi!! now, take your medicine and prepare yourself for a studio ghibli marathon!!!”

𝑵𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒖𝒓𝒂 𝑹𝒊𝒌𝒊 - 西村 力

ni-ki’s the type to think you’re just pranking him when you tell him you’re sick, but when he arrives at your house to find you bedridden, he realizes that you in fact were not playing a prank and was actually quite sick. “oh baby, i’m sorry i doubted you” he would chuckle, thinking back to how ridiculous he was for thinking you were joking. he would kiss your lips despite your protests about infecting him as well but he would just respond with, “it doesn’t matter if i’m sick. kisses make everything better!” you two would be cuddling in bed while just watching a random show together. while you weren’t looking, ni-ki would message his hyungs about how to take care of you while you were sick. it was safe to say that ni-ki was not at all prepared for this whatsoever and also got sick a couple days after.

༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆

eep! i love writing these sm! their so fun and easy to write! this was a rlly random idea but i hope you all enjoyed it! reblogs and feedback are very appreciated <3

[moon7jay]

Enhypen with a s/o who suffers from an ED (hyung line)

Warnings : ed behaviours, body dysmorphia, low self esteem, self depreciation, suggestive in jay's, fluff, comfort, triggering content ahead, please proceed with caution<3

Requested by .・゜゜・ @onlyni-kis (I tried my best to make it realistic, I hope it helps you somehow)

Heeseung

He'd be so attentive and accomodating to your needs. As someone with an Ed, you're often not taken seriously. Your mental problems are not considered valid. And so you usually avoid social settings where people can pass up unnecessary comments on your body or eating choices and heeseung never pressures you to get out if you don't want to. Because you lack confidence and even slight comments trigger you, heeseung makes sure that no one can do so while he's around. If he's around, you can freely go anywhere and do anything. He would have a reputation of a 0 tolerance boyfriend who did not like people perceiving you in anyway. So whenever he is around, people usually know to keep their words in check. He's your safe blanket. The only person you can be yourself with.

You were hanging out with heeseung's cousins in a family get together, sitting on heeseung's lap and indulging in oily food for once, trying to let go of the food guilt.

"y/n that's a lot of food for one sitting" one of them commented and even though the comment was harmless with no real intent to hurt you, it did hurt. Your appetite dying instantly as you gave them a sheepish smile ,standing up from heeseung's lap and excusing yourself from the setting, not wanting your useless tears to fall and ruin everyone's mood. Heeseung let you walk away to collect your emotions but the instant icy glare he shot towards his cousin was something his family would never forget.

"I thought I made it clear that when y/n comes over you better watch your fucking mouths" he gritted through clenched teeth, the nerve on his forehead throbbing with how much effort it was taking him to stop himself from punching his cousin's stupid face. He found you standing in the kitchen, the food that was previously on your plate was now in the trash can and you just stood there staring at it, your small sniffles reaching his ears. You jumped upon feeling two strong arms wrap around your waist but melted into heeseung's touch in an instant.

"Baby, it's okay, have you seen the amount of food that i eat? On the daily basis?" His words made you snort, how ladylike. It was true, heeseung always made sure to load his plate full, piling stuff to the top just so he could make you laugh and forget about your own portion size. It always worked.

"Let's get out of here and I'll take you to this new ice cream parlor I've been meaning to try, would you like that baby? Just me and you?" He peppered small kisses along the length of your neck tenderly, making you close your eyes and just bask in his love. "Yeah I'd love that" you whispered. He was enough for you. You could deal with anything as long as you were in his arms.

Jay

Watching yourself in the mirror was always daunting for you, having no idea of what you really looked like, just constant voices in your head chanting "ugly" were all you could focus on. The dress that you were trying on was tight, it was suffocating. Not thin enough, not pretty enough, starve, starve-

A choked sob escaped your lips and you covered your mouth instantly, realizing that you were in a public space and your boyfriend was right outside. Jay's thought made you cry more, all of your self doubts creeping in and you turned away from the mirror, unable to look at your distorted reflection any longer. You often questioned why he was with you, you were nothing but a mess of a person, not pretty, not normal... just a gaping wound was what you were. Always bleeding. A sudden knock at the changing room's door jolted you out of your thoughts and you quickly wiped your tears, breathing in through your nose to make your voice less wobbly "yes?" you asked, hoping it was just a staff.

"baby let me in please" came jay's sweet voice and you closed your eyes, a defeated sigh leaving your lips. He knew you were having a breakdown, of course he knew, he always knew. You trudged towards the door and yanked it open, presenting your tear stained face to your worried boyfriend. Jay took you in his arms in an instant, cooing and shushing you when you started sobbing in earnest. "talk to me love, I'm right here" he whispered, running his palms all over your body, caressing you with so much tenderness it made you tighten your hold around his neck.

"I just-i don't like this dress" you choked out in the crook of his neck and he hummed in understanding "but I think it looks stunning on you baby" He whispered. His words made you pull back, still sniffing but staring into his eyes to detect a lie being told to placate you.

"You do?" you asked softly, not trusting your voice just yet. He nodded and turned you around, a gasp leaving your lips while your back rested against his chest. Your eyes met his in the mirror and you shied away from the intensity of his gaze. You watched as he ran his hands all over your body, your breath hitching when he cupped your chest, travelling down to your waist, then to your hips "so perfect" he whispered in your ear, making a shiver run down your spine. "look at the way it hugs your curves sweetheart, and the vibrant blue which brings out the color of your eyes", your eyes widened upon realizing that he was right, the dress did do wonders in highlighting your eyes. " look at the way it hugs your hips baby, driving me crazy" and it did, it hugged your hips so snugly, the fit so perfect now that you were seeing yourself in new light. His fingers dug into your waist, his lips touching your earlobe while he told you how beautiful you were. "let me take you home and show you how much I like this dress" He groaned and you bit your lower lip at his suggestion, suddenly feeling so sexy and so desired. He was so good at making you feel like this gorgeous person that you never thought you were. But he was here. And he wanted you. He thought you were pretty and that's all that mattered to you. It didn't heal you but it did make things easier.

Jake

He would be the type of boyfriend who keeps you stacked with your diet soda and 0 calorie foods. After he started dating you he had quickly grasped the severity of your condition, and even though it was out of his hand to actually help you, he did try his best to just be there for you.

"Jake I didn't order these" you asked your boyfriend in confusion, pointing towards the two full boxes of konjac noodles sitting on the kitchen counter. He walked towards you with a smile and pulled you into him. "I did, aren't they your favorite noodles? I was just trying to be a good boyfriend".

Favorite noodles. No they weren't. And you knew that jake knew that, but he didn't like to make you feel like there was something wrong with you, and you appreciated that so much. Your lower lip wobbled upon seeing the new cans of coke zero stacked on the side counter as well. Never had anyone cared so much about your needs and it was making you choke on your emotions. You had been running out of your ed foods and were trying to push back buying them because of the increasing prices, not wanting to waste money on your own hunger because according to you, you didn't deserve to eat anyway.

"How'd you know?" you whispered through a sniffle, already feeling the onslaught of tears. "because I know you, and I love you" He whispered back, wiping your tears and capturing your lips in his own, kissing you through your breakdown.

Sunghoon

You didn't want to overthink it. You really didn't, but your boyfriend was gorgeous and so it was inevitable that he got female attention wherever he went. And most girls ignored your presence beside him, fawning over him as if he didn't have his fingers intertwined with yours. She was beautiful, the girl your boyfriend had been laughing with when you stepped into his office unannounced. That was your biggest mistake because now you couldn't help but compare. Compare the thighs, the arms, the waist... you were nothing like her. Were these the women sunghoon spent his entire day with? and he still chose to come back to your plain self? What were you even doing with yourself? You should be starving harder, you decided. Just a few inches more and your waist might start looking like her, and maybe a few more inches on your thighs would make everything better and the- you were spiralling again. Unable to stop it even though you knew the consequences.

"This is the 3rd order this week baby" sunghoon's voice made you turn towards your bedroom door, mentally cursing upon finding the packaged waist trainer in his hands. You panicked and snatched it from his hands, mumbling a quick thank you and not meeting his eyes. You could feel his probing gaze on you. "You haven't stepped outside of this house in weeks, care to tell me what's going on?"

You hadn't lost weight, you weren't pretty enough yet, didn't he understand?? You couldn't just go outside looking like this, was he out of his mind?. Warm hands cupping your cheeks pulled you out of your inner monologue and you looked up at his intense eyes staring down at you. He rubbed his thumbs onto your cheeks and rested his forehead against yours

"Do you remember the first day of high school? When you had the biggest zit on your nose?" He asked and you looked up at him confused, not knowing where this conversation was headed but nodded regardless. "I loved you then" he whispered and your throat tightened, remembering how he was probably the only one in your entire grade who didn't make a comment on your acne. "And the time when you fell face first into the muddy water before class cuz you were an idiot who never looked at the ground while walking" The memory made you giggle but sunghoon only smiled fondly , kissing your nose "you were drenched from head to toe but i loved you then. I loved you so much y/n". You could feel the moisture gathering in your eyes at his confession, knowing that you spent your entire teen years hating yourself so much to the point that you failed to see the love that was around you. Remembering how you would shy away from your own reflection in the class windows because you despised yourself to the core. "And I loved you when you slapped me, loved you so much that it hurt". Tears were falling freely now, the painful memory of you slapping sunghoon after he confessed his feelings for you because you thought he was trying to make fun of you, coming back to you. cuz in your head there was no way that a guy like him could ever want something to do with you, so you automatically concluded that it was a prank, a distasteful one. "and I love you right now y/n, I love you because you're you. I can't live without you because your soft snores are the only thing helping me fall asleep most days. Because your stupid jokes are the only ones I'd ever fake my laugh for- you gasped through your tears and slapped his chest lightly, making him chuckle. "I love you because I can't help it. It's that easy to love you. " he continued , wiping your tears, "don't you understand baby? You never had to try to make me love you, so why now?". You buried your face into his chest and sobbed, feeling like a huge rock had been lifted off of your chest. His assurance was what you craved the most. The reminder that you were enough for someone. For him.

"I want you just like you are sweetheart, flaws and scars intact. Raw and unfiltered. Now that I have you in my arms, please don't take that away from me" He whispered, wrapping his hands tightly around your heaving body.

"If it's hard for you to love yourself,please let me do it for you" and just like that, he was again fixing the parts of you that he didn't break.

[anniflamma]

My Thoughts on The Thunder Saga

I've been thinking about The Thunder Saga all day, even though I have a headache, and I can say one thing: I liked it!

I was mostly prepared for the emotional damage in Mutiny/Thunder Bringer for multiple reasons, like collaborating with Jay on the ending of Thunder Bringer. However, I was genuinely surprised by Suffering, Different Beast, and the reveal that Odysseus had already tried to kill Eurylochus during Scylla. I really wanted Odysseus to go full-blown monster mode in Act 2, so I felt satisfied.

Maybe this is a hot take, but I have never really felt bad for Odysseus. The only time I did cry and felt for him was when his mother was singing to him in The Underworld Saga. I've never been fond of the crying, shooting soldier type, both in fiction and in real life. I've watched too many documentaries that made me incapable of feeling bad for people or characters committing cruel acts on others and then crying about it like they were the victims.

The song Suffering was a delight! You immediately knew something was wrong just from the happy tone of the music, especially since we were left with Monster. At first, I thought it was a flashback, and yes, the comment "daughter" piqued my interest. Then I quickly thought it was a dream, but at the same time, something felt wrong.

When it switched to Different Beast, my first thought was, "Did he just shoot Penelope?🤣 " And yes, we now know it was the Sirens! But the imagery is very ironic. I even see it as a parallel with the first saga, with the infant. Odysseus has a whole song about his struggle with the decision to kill an infant that reminds him of his own child, ends up killing him, and then in the second act, he kills a female creature that looks like his wife without hesitation. That, folks, is character development! Yes, Odysseus knew it was a Siren, and we can still tell that he is somewhat tries convincing himself in Different Beast.

"My real wife knows I'm not scared of the water And my real wife knows I don't have a daughter"

Essentially, he is reminding himself that this woman in front of him isn't his wife.

All the cruelty against the Sirens was unnecessary. But that is the point! He believes that the only way home is to be as ruthless as possible. However, bringing unnecessary suffering to both foes and friends was obviously the incorrect decision.

Musically, the song Different Beast didn't really click for me. I mostly found it edgy and not really "cool," if you know what I mean. I've heard it a couple of times but still have a hard time remembering the melody, weirdly enough.

If I ever make an animatic of these songs, it will probably be all together in one animatic. Those two songs are meant to be one, but I understand why they are separated due to the major difference in tones.

The song Scylla was the least anticipated song for me. The snippets didn't really catch my attention. But I did like the conclusion of making Scylla and Odysseus have a short duet at the end. Scylla's cruelty was just a mirror of Odysseus, and he was the one actually killing his men. I think this saga really was Eurylochus' peak in terms of characterization. Eurylochus confesses that he was the one who opened the bag and has suffered with this weight and guilt. Odysseus, in his state of mind, turns away and tells Eurylochus to light a torch, knowing that action will doom Eurylochus. Odysseus straight-up tried to kill Eurylochus already, and I thought it would happen in Mutiny! XD

That moment was cold! No words, no goodbyes, just "Light the torch."

Then we have Mutiny. I really liked it! The callbacks to Luck Runs Out were a bit expected but felt so good when they happened! I've seen comments here and there saying that Eurylochus was a hypocrite due to his comment from the Circe Saga to abandon the men who became pigs. Odysseus even brings that up! But Eurylochus is very justified in calling Odysseus out for his actions.

"When we fought the Cyclops, you were quick to hatch a plan And when we fought with Circe, it was you who left behind no man But when we fought this monster, we didn't take a stand"

Odysseus could have made a plan that at least could have increased the chances of survival for the six men who died. But he didn't, he only thought of himself and betrayed them first, using them as bait to guarantee his own survival. Eurylochus, in the Circe Saga, was a man who was scared, confused, and filled with guilt for opening the bag. So his wanting to take the cowardly route is understandable, but it's nowhere near what Odysseus did.

So then they fight, epic moment, we all love it! And for the second time, Odysseus tries to kill Eurylochus but ultimately fails because Perimedes stabs him in the back. Odysseus is like, "My brothers, why?"

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY??? But that is still the point of Odysseus' perspective. He is acting like a ruthless monster now, so he is in a state where he is incapable of understanding or more like thinking of his victims' perspectives. Of course his men would defend themselves from him, of course they would betray him, of course they would backstab him. If you treat your own friends as disposable, eventually there will be a reaction: they will either abandon you or retaliate. It takes an immense depth of pride to feel secure with someone you have inflicted suffering on. And pride is the very theme in this saga!

When Luck Runs Out plays but the roles are switched, it felt a bit nostalgic in a way, but it's still a bit distorted. This time, Odysseus is the one singing Eurylochus' lines, but it's not him being confused and doubtful, instead, he is scared yet manipulative. Eurylochus opens up and is vulnerable toward Odysseus. He feels hopeless, clearly experiencing survivor's guilt.

"Eurylochus: How much longer must I push through doubt? Odysseus: I need to get home Eurylochus: How much longer must we go about my life like this when people die like this?"

When it doesn't work, Odysseus switches from "I" to "we." I love that detail. It's not genuine, and I love it!

Thunder Bringer… I loved it. There, I said it! There is nothing more! LOVED IT! ⚡⚡⚡ I am so happy that I got to do an animatic for Jay for this song!

Thunder Bringer is the song where Zeus punishes the whole fleet for killing (presumably) Apollo's cattle. My theory now is that Apollo doesn't like Odysseus for killing his cows in God Game, and Athena is probably like, "Yeah, but his men did it, not him." And Apollo is like, "Touché."

EDIT: I know that the cattle is Helio's but I speculating maybe the musical will change that to Apollos. Who knows!

Essentially, Zeus literally comes down and sets things straight. Instead of being sneaky and witty like Odysseus usually tries to be, Zeus just gets to the point, "Who gets to live?" And Odysseus points at Eurylochus/the crew, saving himself from Zeus' punishment. Well, I do see that Calypso's island is Odysseus' punishment in a way. It's an ironic one. He comes to paradise and gets a home and a wife… just not the home and wife he wanted. I have some fun ideas for my Thunder Bringer animatic!

Rest in peace, Eurylochus. You will be missed.

[casscainmainly]

I think the recent Cass and Jason discussion is very interesting bc like, Jason or even steph in her first appearance take these actions of righteous, murderous (or near murderous) justice bc of the fact that not only have they've been abused, but they're also able to recognise that fact, and feel that despite everything, they didn't deserve to suffer like that (Jason with his murder, Steph with her childhood abuse)

Whereas Cass struggles for most of her series to recognise that she was abused and struggles to properly resent her abuser on the grounds that she didn't deserve it. She resents David for being a killer and making her love him, for making her a killer, but rarely for the actual abuse that came with her training. She eventually recognises it right before the end of pre-52 in batgirl 2008, but not after a long time, and she still tries to save David at the very end after contemplating letting him die.

she does grows to resent Bruce after some time, and confronts him, showing that she's slowly gaining higher expectations for how she should be treated after developing relationships outside the batfamily (coincidentally with Steph, someone who can relate over having a shitty dad, along with her love interests like Kon and Tai)- though Bruce, despite his multitudes of bad parenting moments never truly abuses cass like david did, so there's nuance, and after her fight with bruce, she still has trouble fully reckoning with her abuse (still calls david shooting her 'a game' in front of tim- she knows its wrong but still doesn't act upset about the fact it happened to her).

She kind of sees all the training she went through as a necessary evil in order to have the skills to be a hero- which is somewhat true, but I think it also contributes to her being unable to see herself, even partially, as a victim for large portions of her narrative.

She can understand abuse as something that molds you into a killer, she can't understand being abused and then choosing to be a killer bc of the righteous fury you have at what happened. In Cass' mind her abuse is synonymous with killing. That's the worst thing Cain ever did to her and the reason she ran away. She can't understand someone like Jason choosing it as a way to cope/deal with abuse.

I don't think this is necessarily a ground breaking thought but I think abuse is an interesting lense to look at both Jason and Cass' stories- pre52, Jason's story is about continuing a cycle of abuse. Criminals hurt him, he hurts criminals, and anyone who gets in his way of hurting the criminals, bc even tho he pursues justice, he also pursues retribution, which is hard to do justly. Between that and the whole zombie/living ghost thing, it's downright gothic. Whereas Cass' story is about breaking out of a cycle of abuse- nobody dies bc she let one person die and will never let it happen again. It's just an interesting way to view their differences I think. Good Cass and Jason posts recently!

I LOVE THIS!! I absolutely think abuse informs the way Jay and Cass see the world (and Steph - Steph, in many ways, is the median point between Jason and Cass).

It's the fundamental question that drives Jason and Cass apart. For Cass, her question is: how can I be the victim if I'm the villain? And for Jason, the question is more: how can I be the villain if I'm the victim?

I love this line: "Cass struggles for most of her series to recognise that she was abused and struggles to properly resent her abuser on the grounds that she didn't deserve it." This is doubly complicated by the genuine love David Cain had for her - that panel of them watching the stars kills me every time. This is another key difference between Jason and Cass' abuse (taking Jason's abuse to be his death) - Jason had no love for the Joker, but Cass did love David Cain.

It's why it's so easy for Jason to want to kill the Joker, and so hard for Cass to even be angry at her father. And your point here - "In Cass' mind her abuse is synonymous with killing" - is absolutely on point, because Jason's conception of abuse is the helplessness of being murdered. They are both acting in ways to prevent what abuse means in their minds: as Batgirl, Cass will never have to kill again, and as Red Hood, Jason will never have to be helpless in the face of murderers again.

Any rebuke of their moral codes feels like a denial of the abuse they suffered. It's why Cass can't allow others to kill, and why Jason can't accept Bruce's reasoning for not killing the Joker. It's why these versions of them could never get along. Argh there's been such good Cass and Jason commentary recently, they drive me insane!!!

[simpjaes]

CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT TELLING BOYFRIEND JAY YOU HAVE NO PANTIES ON AMD CONTINUING CONVERSING LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED PLEASE

warnings: they're in church lmfao, jay malfunctions, finger fucking, car stuff, jay is a needy dominate motherfucker fr

wc: 1.1k

note: ive decided anything over 1.5k will be posted separately from the ask. i still consider this a drabble lol

The words resonate in his brain, bouncing off every image and thought he had previously to you saying that to him. It's like he malfunctions before reacting, his entire body excited by the mere suggestion. "I'm not wearing panties." You had whispered right up against him through an innocent hug. So casually, with a voice so calm and balanced to him. Your tone was no different than when you'd tell him "I missed you" in a hug when you go to his house. Then again, it's not like the tone really matters. It's the words, the suggestion behind them. Given the fact that the two of you are in a place where it's considered highly inappropriate for his body to be acting this way. You manage to make it more inappropriate that you didn't wear panties in the first place.

The two of you are rarely ever found at church but on the rare occasion, your parents ask for you to be there. In turn, you always drag your boyfriend with you to save you from the long and boring few hours needing to be spent there. So, yeah, it's safe to say that the way Jay reacts is expected considering he can't actually react the way he wants or needs to right now. You did it to tease, to be cheeky and make him suffer even more. He can tell by the way you smirk, acting as if that hug you just gave him was nothing more and absolutely didn't involve dirty talk. He watches how you ignore his hungry gaze now, continuing a conversation with your parents and great aunt. He's supposed to be involved in this topic but instead he's too busy knowing that if he simply slips his hand up your dress, he could slide right in. 

You’re so…defiant, and all of it reminds him why he loves being with you. Always sweet, always beautiful, always fucking loving it when he’s suffering not only because of you, but for you.

And you continue to tease him through the event. You’re well aware that he’s in his head about it, considering he’s always ready to please and always unintentionally horny around you. You enjoy that about him though, because it lets you fuck with him in a place like this. 

Watching him suffer is funny, usually, because you know at some point he’s gonna break and absolutely break you along with him. But right now? You’ve never done this to him in a space where he couldn’t escape or lose his composure. 

It’s not funny now. It’s hot. 

Even the slightest grip of your hand on his bicep makes him release a small, frustrated sigh. Anyone else would think that sound is just him catching his breath, or perhaps pondering what heaven would be like for him. But you know what that sound is. You hear it most often against your neck or between your legs. 

A frustrated sound that tells you clearly how frustrated Jay becomes knowing he can’t devour you whole and keep you forever. A needy sound that somehow comes from the dominance within him to worship and praise every inch of your body with his mouth, hands, cock–

“Jay–” You whisper again, noting his stiffened body as he pushes through various hugs from people definitely wearing underwear. “What’re you gonna do to me?”

The way the remaining blood in his head rushes to his cock right then and there, snapping his eyes to you just as you pull away from him to give a half-assed hug to the pastor’s wife. The event is coming to a close and he can fucking see how excited you are to find out. 

He stares at you knowingly, looking you up and down, with the way you wore a dress far too short for this event anyway. Your mother commented on when she saw you, she even apologized to him for your blatant disrespect or something. 

Your mother may be against you flaunting your body, but Jay knew from the moment he saw you that you did it for him. To occupy him. To apologize for dragging him here with you. 

Only to fuck him up by telling him your pussy is literally out for him too, and now?! You want to know what he’s going to do to you?

Oh, baby. Just you wait. 

The final five minutes of the event feel like they lasted twice as long as the services, but eventually you find yourself in Jay’s car again. You knew he wouldn’t make it out of the parking lot, truly. 

The moment he gets into his car, his hand shoots straight between your legs as if he needed proof. Somehow, the force of his hand shocks you. He’s not gentle, he’s needy, forceful. You can tell by the way he lets out a breathy groan finding you not only naked under this dress, but dripping too. 

Jay can’t help himself. He slips two fingers in automatically, moaning at the pleasure he knows he intends to give to you. 

“You wanna know what I’m gonna do to you?” He finally asks, tucking his fingers deep in you before using the other hand to maneuver out of the parking lot. 

You note the speed of which he backs out and drives away, yet the stillness and pressure of his fingers still show the same eager need. 

“Mhm–” You nod, blinking at him innocently all while spreading your legs like the whore you know you want to be for him. 

Jay side eyes you at that, keeping his eyes on the road but feeling the clench of your needy pussy. He doesn’t need to look at you to know what sort of sly expression you’re throwing at him. You know what you did, and you know what you’re gonna get for it too. 

“I think you know exactly what I’m going to do.”

And while the two of you do make it back to Jay’s house, you don’t quite make it out of the garage and into the living room at the very least. His bedroom is out of the question, just a couple of feet too far, and a couple of seconds too long to wait by now. 

You’re not shocked to find yourself fucked open and making a mess from his fingers alone after a mere three minutes of him turning his car off, and he’s not shocked that you’re dripping all over him when he pulls his cock out and plants you directly on it without so much as opening his car door. 

He leans his seat back with ease, knowing you’ll have the control in this instance but he doesn’t mind. He’s not going to be done with you quite yet anyway.

You both know it.

[wwooyology]

The Murder House | Pt. Three

𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕/𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐 | 𝒑𝒕. 𝒐𝒏𝒆 | 𝒑𝒕. 𝒕𝒘𝒐 | 𝒑𝒕. 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆 | 𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒖𝒆

「synopsis」 : everything seems to be going downhill at a rapid pace and nothing is going right and you've already suffered the loss of two friends, but the mastermind behind this doesn't seem to be satisfied just yet. another test is throw your way but things are starting to become more clear and you're realizing that the culprit has been with you the whole time... but will you be able to stop him and escape this hell house with your lives intact?

「word count」 : 10.5k

「genre」 : horror/thriller, gore, angst, psychological thriller, mystery

「warnings」 : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!, cussing, even more 'games', blood, violence, gore, gun goes pew pew, poisoning, betrayal, gaslighting, familial issues, mentions of abuse (mental & physical), knife goes stabby, threats, death, obsessive/stalker-ish behavior, mental health disorders, even more betrayal, traumatic events, police, pls lmk if I missed any!

“Riki, seriously, now is not the time for pranks; where are you?” You called out, eyes searching every inch of the room, but there was no sign of the boy anywhere. “Riki!” Your voice cracked as you tried to keep the tears in your eyes at bay.

Jay released his hold on your arm before walking over to the door to check and see if, by some miracle, it was unlocked. Though just as he had thought, it was locked tight, not a chance that it would open unless unlocked. Sighing, he backed away from it before looking around the room.

A soft click caught the silver-haired male's attention. However, you were too busy calling out for your brother in hopes that he was just playing some kind of prank on you.  Jay watched as a door off to the side started to open, the sight making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. His feet seemed to have a mind of their own as he started to make his way to the door.

“Y/n.” He called out to you, causing your head to whip over in his direction, hoping that he had found some clue as to where your brother had been taken. Then you realize that that wasn’t the reason that he had called out to you.

“Jay, I swear to god, if you tell me to calm down, I will lose my shit.” You hissed, heart hammering in your chest. The last thing you needed was for him to dismiss your panic, much like Jake had done.

“No, no, I’m not going to.” He looked over at you, shocked that you would even think he would tell you that. “That door…” He pointed in the direction of the ajar door, “it just opened.”

Your eyes moved in the direction that he was pointing, seeing that a door was, in fact, opened. Without much of another thought, you made your way towards it, ignoring Jay’s calls for you to be careful. Pulling the door open, you walked inside but were met with more darkness. The only light was what the other room had to offer. Even in the darkness of the room, you could see what looked to be a table with chairs in the center.

“Y/n, jeez, you can’t just rush into random rooms when the door magically opens!” Jay exclaimed as he followed in behind you. However, the moment that he fully stepped into the room the door swung shut, the sound causing the both of you to jump. The older male mumbled a few curses before turning to check it, but of course, it was locked while your eyes stayed on his figure, and you could barely see in the dark.

Groaning, he drops his hand from the door and turns back towards you, telling you that it was locked, causing your heart to drop. Something about this situation seems a little too familiar to you. Before you could voice any of your thoughts, a spotlight turned on right over the table that you had seen earlier.

“Well, if it isn’t the love birds…” A voice cut through the air, causing a wave of dread to wash over both you and Jay, eyes on each other. “I must say, congratulations for making it this far would have been a bummer if you lost too soon.” The distortion of the voice only added to your unease, “Now, welcome to your final game!” Jay walked over to your side and grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours as the both of you listened, “this time though…” the voice trailed on, causing the hairs on your arms to stand, “one of you will die, but there’s a catch.” Your ears started to ring at the sudden revelation while Jay’s blood ran cold, his grip on your hand growing tighter, “the fate of your lives falls into your hands, y/n, so make sure you choose wisely.” The voice said with a cheery tone, causing your body to go rigid, your head to reel, and your palms to grow sweaty. What did they mean that the fate of their lives fell into your hands? Before you could get too lost in your thoughts, the voice spoke once more, “Now take a seat, won’t you?”

For a moment, neither of you moved, feet rooted to the ground, but with some hesitancy, Jay moved forward, pulling you after him. Stepping up to the table, you could have sworn you felt every nerve ending in your body catch on fire.

There, lying in the center of the table, was a sleek black handgun.

Your mind started to spiral as you connected the dots on what lay ahead of both you and Jay. Your heart squeezed so hard that you were sure it just might pop, followed by the insistent ringing that dulled your sense of hearing. This is what they meant by the fate of your life sitting in your hands: You were going to have to make a choice. No, you weren’t going to; there was no way that you could.

“No. I’m not doing that, you can’t-”

“Y/n?” Your blood ran frigid in your veins as that sound of your brother's voice flowed through the speakers, “Help me, please. I don’t know where I am.” There was so much fear in his shaky tone, and it brought tears to your eyes. He must be horrified right now, along with whoever it was that was doing all of this to you. Your heart started to hurt when you heard what sounded like small cries and sniffles through the speaker.

“Now sit,” The voice cut back, causing your head to snap up as the first few tears dripped from your eyelashes, “or your sweet little brother here dies; you wouldn’t want that now, would you y/n? To have another death on your hands?” 

Anger bubbled in your chest, hand balling into a fist, “fuck you asshole.” You seethed before releasing Jay’s hand to take a seat. Your heart continued to hammer underneath your ribs as you met Jay's eyes from the other side of the table. Jay’s face showcased all of his unease as he looked down at the gun before looking back at you. He wasn’t sure what to make of this situation, but he did know that this was going to be his final stop in this lifetime.

Merely seconds after your arms or sat on the armrest, straps come around one of your wrists while the other is left free. Jay, however, was rendered completely motionless, seeing as straps bound both of his wrists to the armrests.

“Ahhh, now that you’ve been seated, the game can begin.” The voice once again spoke, causing your body to jolt slightly; it was then followed by a laugh that struck fear into the depths of your soul. “One of you will live to see another light of day, and the other? Well, this is your final stop.” You could feel your body begin to shake as the words sunk in; Jay opened his mouth to try and say anything that might calm your nerves just a bit but was cut off, “Though y/n, I am quite curious, which is it going to be? Are you going to sacrifice your lover for yourself or yourself for your lover?”

You start shaking your head violently, refusing to touch the weapon that is laid before you, “No, I won’t be sacrificing anyone for anything, dammit! Just let us out.”

“Y/n, stop-” “No, Jay, I refuse to kill anyone, let alone myself!” You exclaim, staring at him with wide, teary eyes. There was an insufferable pain blooming in your chest as you looked at the man who sat across from you, a small, sad smile on his lips as if he had already accepted the fact that he could be the one dying here. “Jay, I don't want to do this. I can’t do this!”

“It would seem you have no other choice, y/n,” the voice spoke again, and you shouted no, fighting against your restraints. “You have ten minutes to decide, and if you don’t make a choice, well…” it was faint, but it rang in your ears, the sound of a gun clicking followed by a cry that sounded just like Riki, “or your brother dies.”

It was like time had slowed around you, the sounds becoming deafening as the weight of the reality you were living in started to drop on your shoulders. One of you was going to die here, and it was going to be your fault. Tears had long since started streaming down your cheeks, dripping down onto your lap as you looked at the metal death harbinger in front of you. The sound of your name being called causes you to lift your head, meeting Jay’s solemn gaze.

“Listen to me, it’s going to be okay.” He offered a small smile, but you couldn’t return it. 

How could he say that everything was going to be okay? How was any of this okay? Why isn’t he freaking out, begging you not to shoot him?

“Y/n, you’re going to have to shoot me.” Jay felt a punch to his gut when your face morphed into a look of horror. The last thing he ever wanted was to cause you any distress, to cause you to cry like you were before him without a way to comfort you. You then start shaking your head, refusing the idea. Even if you knew that the clock was ticking, you just couldn’t bring yourself to point that weapon at Jay. There was no way you were going to be able to end his life, not when he still had so much to look forward to. He was still in school, working his ass off to further his degree so he could do what he loved. You couldn’t sever that; you just couldn’t.

“Jay, I can’t.” You cried vision blurred due to the tears that built up on your waterline. 

“You have to, please y/n.” Jay’s voice cracked slightly as he tried to hold back the sobs that were building up in his lungs. “You have to get out so you can’t take care of your brother, to go and explore the world like you wanted, to finally be free from your parents. Y/n, you have to get out so you can move forward with your life; there’s so much you have to live for.” His words only brought more tears to your eyes, your heart lurching into your throat, “I don’t have that. All I have is you and the boys, and if I have to live a day without you, y/n… I don’t think I would be able to cope.”

His words felt like you had just been stabbed relentlessly in the heart; how could he say that? As if you would be able to cope? What about you? Does he truly think that you could just walk out of here and just move on with your life after killing him? Does he actually believe that you could move on with your life with that guilt in the back of your mind? 

“And you think I could?” Your voice was feeble, barely above a whisper.

Jay just shook his head, the tears finally breaking free from their hold, “you have to think about Riki, y/n. He wouldn’t be ab-”

“What about me, Jay?” Your voice raised in pitch as you tried to keep from completely breaking down, bringing your hand up to point to your chest, “how could you sit there and think that I would be okay if you died? And because I killed you, for fuck sake!” 

Jay flinched slightly at your tone, but he wasn’t going to budge. There was no way he could; you needed to get out. Needed to live the life you were never given the chance to.

“Time is running out, y/n; just shoot me, please.” Jay sat up straight as he watched you look at him in complete disbelief. It felt as if millions of tiny little needles were puncturing his heart as he watched you break down completely.

“Jay-” “Just shoot me y/n!” Jay’s tone was as sharp as a freshly sharpened knife that had just sliced into your entire being. 

Everything started to feel numb as you stared at the gun, tears still falling from your lashes. Was this how it was going to end? With you getting your friend's blood on your hands? Is this really what your life has come to?

Your ears began to ring as you reached forward to grab the weapon, the metal cool under your fingertips. All of the air left your lungs as you picked it up, the weight of it in your palm unsettling. The hairs on your arm were standing straight as you looked at the gun closer; there was no doubt in your mind that it had been loaded. Ready for you to use it to end a life.

“I really wished that I could have done this when we got out, but I won’t be able to.” Jay started, causing you to tear your gaze away from the gun, “But I love you, god, I love you, y/n, and I am so sorry that we can’t spend the rest of our lives together.” 

It was those words that left your world crumbling. The man before you, the very man that you had fallen so deeply in love with, had just told you that he loved you. Yet you couldn’t bring yourself to be happy. Your heart was shattering; piece by piece, it was starting to crumble viciously, being stabbed. Your throat felt so tight that it was like your body was trying to deprive itself of the oxygen that you needed. Pain washed over your still body like a rock stuck on a seashore, waves washing over it without a hint of remorse.

There was no way that you were going to be able to aim this gun and pull the trigger. You couldn’t end a man's life, let alone the love of your life. 

Noticing your hesitation, Jay calls out to you, barely gaining your attention. You are then reminded of the time that had been ticking down—minute by minute, second by second.

You had a choice to make.

“I’m sorry, Jay.” Your voice cracked as you lifted the heavy metal, aiming at the man in front of you, tears silently falling from your eyes. Jay just looked at you with nothing but adoration, love gleaming in his deep brown iris. “I love you too, I have always loved you…”

Closing your eyes, your mind starts to wander off to the memories that the two of you had created together, to the memories that you have made with all of your friends, and how they have brought so much joy into your life after you and Riki escaped your parents' house. Then you remembered the day that your dad had called only to berate you, leaving you in shambles, but then Jay was there.

“Hey, y/n, Riki was looking for – hey! Are you okay? What’s wrong?” He had come into the kitchen to ask you for something that your brother had been looking for but dropped everything when he found you curled up against the cabinets, tears streaming down your face.

You remember so vividly how he managed to stop your panic attack so quickly, and all it took was for him to distract you. Something that no one other than Riki had been able to do. It was then that your crush started to develop.

At first, you thought it would just be one of those fleeting emotions that would go away within a week, but it never did. From that day, it only grew until nothing, but Jay occupied your mind most days.

Then, the memory faded until it was black. It was gone from your mind, only to be replaced with another memory from the day you knew that you would be okay, the day you told yourself that you had finally found your home.

It was early summer so the weather was almost perfect to just sit outside and enjoy the cool breeze with the fire burning in the pit. Jay had brought his guitar ready to show everyone a new song that he had learned. Jake brought Layla with him because he knew that she loved being with everyone just as much as he did. Jungwon and Sunoo were bickering over how to roast a marshmallow completely, while Riki watched in amusement, a marshmallow of his own sitting over the flame until it completely melted off of the stick, causing everyone to burst out laughing. Sunghoon had been talking to Heeseung about the skating competition that he had just gotten back from the previous week. Heeseung didn’t know a thing about ice skating, but he was more than willing to just listen to the boy.

Then there was you.

You sat between your brother and Heeseung, listening to all of the laughter and soft voices that surrounded you. It brought tears to your eyes because you had never been sure that this was something that you could have, not with everything that had happened with your parents. You were so sure that you would still be stuck under their thumb, bending to their every whim, even if that meant you would lose yourself in the process. 

You had pinched yourself so many times that night, hardly believing that any of it was real. However, a peaceful night and a few bruises later, you knew that this was real. All of it was, and you finally felt at home. Safe and loved.

Opening your eyes once more, you looked at Jay; the gaze in your eyes was enough to tell him just how grateful you were. Your finger then wrapped around the trigger, and Jay closed his eyes, accepting the fate that had been bestowed upon him.

However, you refused to let it be the end for him. Your grip tightened on the handle of the weapon before letting out a shaky breath.

“Take care of Riki for me.” Your words caused the male’s eyes to shoot up, “I’m sorry.”

Ignoring the cries of protest that fell from the male’s lips, you turned the weapon around. The barrel pressed against your temple as you closed your eyes, accepting your fate.

Jungwon made it his goal to keep his distance from the other two, well more like Jake. Something about his behavior was rubbing the boy wrong. Noticing how far back he was, Jake turned with a small twitch in his lip.

“Everything okay back there, Won?” There was a tone of worry in his voice, but Jungwon found it hard to believe, and he met the daring gaze of the older male. His stomach churned, and his mouth went dry, too terrified to say anything. What if the moment he said something, he attacked either of them?

Sunghoon also looks back at Jungwon, worried that something might be wrong. However, Jungwon just swallowed thickly as the two of them stared at him.

“Oh, you know, doing just fine for being stuck in a psycho’s house.” Jungwon’s eyes shift over to Jake causing the older male’s jaw to clench, his eye twitching slightly. Sunghoon, however, didn't catch it and rolled his eyes.

“Is now really the time to be sarcastic?”

“Look, sarcasm is my only defense, alright? I have nothing else to offer.” Jungwon sassed back, causing Sunghoon to roll his eyes once more before they started moving once more.

After walking a few more feet, they came across a room that was wide open, and the light was already on. A sense of dread fell over Jungwon as he noticed this small detail. However, neither of the other two seemed to care as they walked right into the room. He slowly followed behind them, trying to ignore the ever-growing gut feeling that something bad was about to happen.

Not even seconds after they are all in the room, the door slams shut, and the lock clicks, causing Jungwon and Sunghoon to jump.

With wide, fear-stricken eyes, Sunghoon rushed over to the door, nearly knocking into Jungwon on the way over. His hand wrapped around the handle and jostled it, but it was no use; it was locked tight. Turning, he looked between Jake and Jungwon, telling them that it was locked, and before either of them could speak, a voice crackled through the speakers.

“Well, well, well, would you look at that…” The almost robotic voice sent a chill down Jungwon’s spine as he looked around the room, “we’ve caught three little mice in our trap; what fun!” Whoever it was chuckled, causing Sunghoon’s hands to clench by his sides, a glare adorning his features. Jungwon tried his best to see if he could decipher the voice and figure out who it was, but whoever it was made damn sure that they wouldn’t be able to tell. “Now, now, little mice, why don’t we play another game, hm?” Sunghoon moved to stand beside Jungwon, who glanced over at him, “You managed to make it this far, but I’m afraid for one of you, this will be the end of the line.” The voice then chuckled again, causing a wave of dread to wash over both Sunghoon and Jungwon. “The best part of all of this? It’s all up to chance.” Just then, a spotlight clicked on, showcasing the desk and the three cups of red liquid that sat on top of it, “you’ll have ten minutes to pick your poison, and if you don’t, well, none of you will live to see the light of day again.” And with that, the voice stopped, and the speaker turned off, leaving the three boys to stand in complete silence.

Jake was the first to move towards the desk, causing Sunghoon to follow after him and Jungwon shortly after. The unease never lifted. How could he be sure that Jake wouldn’t make sure that one of them took the poison? Or was he just crazy, and Jake really wasn’t behind everything? There were so many questions that floated around the male brain; however, Jake reaching towards the cup caught his attention.

“I’ll take the one on the right,” Jake voiced as he grabbed the clear glass. Jungwon looked at him with a suspicious gaze. Jake then caught the younger boy’s eye and raised an eyebrow. " We only have ten minutes, so it’s best if we don’t waste time,” he told him as he brought the glass to his lip, downing the liquid in one fell swoop. Jungwon could not help but squint at him, his suspicions rising even further.

“He’s right,” Sunghoon nodded his head before grabbing the glass on the left, “and I’ll be damned if I’m the reason none of us make it out alive.” Then, before Jungwon could even protest, Sunghoon downed every last drop of the crimson liquid.

Jungwon’s heart was beating a million miles an hour as he watched Sunghoon set the cup back down. Nothing seemed to be wrong. Had he grabbed the safe glass along with Jake? Does that mean the last glass was the poison? Looking over at the last cup, Jungwon could have sworn he was going to be sick to his stomach.

Sweat started to accumulate on the boy’s forehead as he reluctantly grabbed the cup, looking down at the liquid inside. Was this really going to be the end of his life? A stupid idea of wiggling his way into going with everyone. He should have just stuck to his original plan of staying home and playing video games, yet here he was, on the brink of death. 

Although this might be his last ten minutes on earth, he couldn’t help but feel grateful for the life that he had lived. He hadn’t truly thought that he would make it out of his teen years if it wasn’t for meeting Sunoo in his junior year of high school after he transferred yet again. The blonde, who had been brunette back then, was the first person who offered the younger boy any kind of kindness. Sunoo had made it his goal to make sure the Jungwon was always included, even if it was someone as small as walking down the hall or sharing the snacks that he had bought. Then, just as things seemed to have started to flow smoothly, Jungwon met you at the grocery store. You had your headphones in and weren’t paying very good attention to those around you. You almost tripped over Jungwon, who had been crouched down to grab something on the shelf. If it wasn’t for his cat-like reflexes, you probably would have left with a nosebleed on top of the embarrassment you were already feeling.

“I am so so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention!” The amount of apologies that had fallen from your lips was almost too cute to Jungwon, causing the boy to laugh slightly. The sound, however, only caused your face to flush even more.

“It’s okay,” He smiled softly at you, and you couldn’t help but admire the dimples that adorned his cheeks, making a comment on them without realizing it, which only made your embarrassment grow tenfold. Laughing once more, the younger boy pointed over his shoulder, “Did you wanna walk together? Maybe I can help make sure you don’t trip over any more innocent bystanders.” He teased you relentlessly about that day but you had still chosen to walk with him, exchanging numbers after you grabbed everything you had needed. He had found another friendship that he cherished more than his own life, but now he had lost one of his friends, and he wasn’t even sure if he would have the other one by the time this hellhole ended.

Swallowing thickly, he brought the cup to his lips and started to pour the liquid into his mouth, the bitter taste causing him to winch. He had to keep himself from gagging as he swallowed. Once it was all gone, he looked down into the empty cup, waiting for the inevitable to come.

Coughing then started to fill the room, but it wasn’t coming from Jungwon. Both Jake and Jungwon’s heads snapped over to Sunghoon, who was doubled over, hand covering his mouth as he nearly coughed a lung up. His eyes were squeezed shut as he tried to get his breathing under control, but it became nearly impossible in a matter of seconds, and his throat started to swell up. Pulling his hand away from his mouth, he was petrified as blood pooled in the palm of his hand.

He was dying.

The poison was in the cup he had chosen, the very cup that was bringing him to his end. Jungwon panicked, dropping his glass to rush over to Sunghoon.

“Shit! Sunghoon, make yourself throw up! You can get the poison out of your stomach!” Jungwon exclaimed, trying to get the older male to look at him, but Sunghoon’s ears were ringing far too loud to hear anything. Jake just sat his glass down leisurely before crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the desk.

“That’s not going to help him, not now.” Jake shrugged his shoulders as he met Jungwon’s shocked gaze. “Oh, don’t act so surprised. I could tell that you knew.”

“You’re insane.” Jungwon seethed as he laid Sunghoon down when he stopped coughing, only to start wheezing. Jake’s smirk disappeared, only to be replaced by a glare, his upper lip pulling back a bit.

“I’m insane?” He stepped closer to Jungwon, who stood back on his feet, meeting Jake’s glare with his own. “You haven’t seen insane yet, but again, you won’t live to see it anyway.” Jake pointed right at the center of Jungwon’s chest, pushing him back slightly.

Sunghoon reached over to grab Jake’s leg, confused. Had his closest friend really been behind all of this? Jake’s glare shifted from Jungwon to the dying male on the ground, kicking his hand away with a sneer.

“And you, maybe I should have planted something of Jay’s on that damned hacker,” Jake growled as he crouched down, eyes trained on Sunghoon’s pained face. “I really thought I had everyone against you, but you just had to go and prove yourself.” The older male then reached out, moving a strand of Sunghoon’s hair, a sinister smirk on his lips, “No matter, y/n doesn’t trust you, and oh, that poor heartbroken face she’ll have after finding out you died.” A rush of excitement ran down Jake’s spine as he thought about the tear-streaked expression you would give him as he got to be the one to comfort you after this was said and done.

Sunghoon couldn’t believe what was happening. Had Jake really been behind all of this? Was he the one who killed the guy who was in your and Heeseung’s room? More and more questions started to cloud his fleeting mind.

Mustering up all of his courage, Sunghoon wheezed, “Why?”

“Why?” Jake chuckled, patting the younger’s cheek as he tilted his head, “I don’t really think that’s any of your concern.” He shrugged before moving away from Sunghoon, leaving him to lay there.

His vision was starting to flash in and out as he slowly started losing his ability to breathe. His lungs felt as if they had been set ablaze; every nerve ending felt like they were being pinched harshly. He was in extreme pain, but his body also felt numb. No matter how much he tried he couldn’t move at all, he was stuck. Paralyzed.

This wasn’t how he wanted things to end, not even close. He wanted to get out so he could apologize to you, to go and see Heeseung’s mother so he could comfort her after delivering the news of her son, to make things right. He wanted to do so much.

He wanted to grow old, meet his so-called soulmate, get married, and have all of his friends there with him. He wanted to make Heeseung his best man while having the rest of the guys as his groomsmen. Now? Even if he did somehow make it out alive, his best friend would be gone, and so would his other friends. 

The air was starting to become thinner as Sunghoon continued to fight to breathe; his eyes stung with tears, the salty liquid spilling from the corner of his eyes. He could see the faint outline of Jungwon, who was hovering over him, begging him to stay awake. Sunghoon tried to speak, but there was no way any words would make it out of his mouth, so he mustered all of his will and moved his hand. Jungwon quickly grabbed his hand, biting his tongue at how cold his skin felt already.

“I’m so sorry, Hoon,” Jungwon choked back sobs, squeezing the older male’s hand, and Sunghoon just shook his head. Well, tried to shake his head.

Sunghoon could feel the life draining from his body, his organs slowly shutting down, his heart slowing to a deathly low pace. Moments of his life flashed behind his eyelids, all of the happy, sad, angry, lonely moments replaying like a home film on VHS.

All of the time that he spent trying to get away from Heeseung in middle school was only for him to stick to him like glue, refusing to leave the younger boy alone. As much as he despised it at the time if you were to ask him now, he would say that he was forever grateful for Heeseung’s annoying persistence. Thanks to that, he found his best friend, a lifelong friend, and now they would be together again in the afterlife. 

He almost wanted to laugh when you flashed across his mind. Your first meeting, actually. The both of you had actually started off on the wrong foot. He was having a bad day; nothing seemed to be going his way, so he wanted to hang out with Heeseung. When he got there, you were just walking out of the older male’s apartment, not having seen Sunghoon, who, on the other hand, hadn’t seen you either because he was too busy looking at his phone. So when the two of you collided, it only added to his frustration, and he didn’t necessarily mean to snap at you. But he had cut you off mid-apology, his tone causing you to flinch slightly, a sight now that he regrets.

“Good god, would it be so hard to watch where the fuck you’re going.” He seethed, hand gripping his phone tightly. You looked up at him with wide eyes, completely taken aback by his reaction. However, your shock quickly morphed into anger.

“That’s rich coming from you, maybe you could have avoided me if your nose wasn’t stuck in your damn phone.” You had snapped back at him, causing him to recoil slightly, but Sunghoon was quick to brush it off and roll his eyes.

He muttered a quick ‘whatever’ before walking around you to Heeseung’s door knocking. You were still grumbling to yourself as you made it to your door across the hall. Though the call of your name caused you to turn to meet Heeseung’s eyes.

“This is Sunghoon, my best friend that I was telling you about.” Heeseung had introduced the two of you that day but quickly took note of the tension between the two of you. However, being the persistent one that he was, Heeseung made sure that the two of you apologized to each other, and before too long, it was just water under the bridge, and you became really good friends.

Sunghoon wondered if this is what they mean when they say your life flashes before your life. Was he going to see the light at the end of the tunnel next? That would be pretty cliche, huh? He wanted to laugh, but he felt completely detached from his body as his chest rose before falling for one last time before darkness consumed him completely.

Tears were streaming down Jungwon’s face when he felt Sunghoon’s hand go limp. He dropped the older male’s hand before reaching for his shoulders to shake him violently, hoping that he would open his eyes once more.

“Sunghoon! Wake up, please wake up!” He cried out, fingers digging into Sunghoon’s shirt. Jake just rolled his eyes before stepping over to the two, pushing Jungwon back with his foot.

“He’s dead, there’s nothing you can do.” Jake chuckled as he shoved his hands into his pockets, stepping over Sunghoon’s lifeless body. His head tilted slightly as a sinister smirk pulled on the corner of his lips. “It’s a shame I couldn’t pick something stronger. I really wanted one of you to suffer.” He let out a little sigh, taking another step closer to Jungwon, who quickly scooted back before scrambling to his feet. “No matter though, everything is almost done.”

Jungwon looked at the older male with wide, horrified eyes, “what?” He didn’t understand what was happening, let alone why it was happening.

“Well, you see, Jungwon, this little ‘game’ was merely a front to get rid of all of you.” Jake felt excitement bubble in his chest as he watched the younger boy stumble back as he tried to get away from Jake. “Once you’re all gone, y/n will finally be mine.”

Jungwon felt his stomach drop. It was no wonder he was reacting that way towards you and Jay or why he got so mad when you rejected his advances. He never took Jake to be the kind to become obsessive with a person; he was always laid back and never had a mean bone in his body. So, was all of that a lie? Was it just a front he put on to fool everyone?

Fear had completely engulfed the boy's mind as he looked around the room, trying to find any way out. Noticing this, Jake chuckled, shaking his head and causing Jungwon’s head to snap back towards him.

“Oh Jungwon, Jungwon, Jungwon…” Jake then pulled his hand out of his pocket with a flourish, and the knife he had sitting inside let the light gleam off of it. Jungwon’s heart lurched into his throat as he looked at the weapon before meeting Jake’s psychotic gaze. Moving quickly Jungwon put distance between himself and Jake by moving behind the desk.

“You're insane!” Jungwon seethed, shifting from foot to foot, trying to think if he’d make it to the door before Jake could grab him.

Jake’s face shifted into an evil snarl, fingers tightening around the hilt of the knife. His eyes twitched slightly, but it soon faded once he realized what Jungwon was planning on doing. He was going to make a break for the door, but he wouldn’t make it, even if he did.

It was still locked.

Then, just like he thought, the younger boy made a run for the door; however, Jake was one step ahead. Jake grabbed his arm, pulling Jungwon towards him. Jungwon let out a loud gasp when a searing pain spread through his abdomen. Eyes wide, he looks up at Jake, meeting his smut gaze.

“Poor little Wonnie…” Jake’s voice came out in a sing-song tone, twisting the knife he had plunged into the boy’s stomach, causing Jungwon’s mouth to fall agape, “no one is coming to save you.”

Jungwon’s ears started ringing loudly as he grabbed Jake’s arm, nails digging into his sleeve. He wanted to say something, anything. However, all of the words that were sitting on his tongue fizzled away. He knew Jake had hit a vital spot. He knew that his chances of making it out of this room alive were slim to none. He knew he would bleed out on this floor without a chance to do anything to help.

Jake twisted the knife once more, eliciting a pained cry from Jungwon’s parted lips. He then ripped the knife out, allowing Jungwon to drop to the ground. Jake then wiped the blood from the knife onto his pants before crouching down to look at Jungwon, who was fighting to keep his eyes open.

“Such a shame, really,” Jake propped his arm up on his leg, chin sitting in his palm next to the knife hilt. Jungwon winched as he tried to move, but the pain was far too much; his breathing became labored. “Should have just stayed home.”

With that, Jake stood back to his feet and stepped over the boy’s bleeding body. Jungwon’s eyes stayed glued to Jake’s back as he tried to fight off the darkness that was clouding his vision. He hoped that you could figure something out before Jake made it back to you, Jay, and Riki. 

Then, for the first time in a very long time, he prayed. He prayed that the rest of his friends would make it out alive, that they would be safe, and that Jake would face the consequences of his actions.

He took one last deep breath before his eyes fluttered closed, the darkness consuming him whole.

Your finger wrapped around the trigger, moments away from pulling it and ending your life. Your eyes squeezed shut tightly, causing more tears to spill from the corners. Jay thrashed about on the opposite side, screaming at you to pull the gun away.

Then, right before you pulled the trigger, you heard rushed footsteps and a hand wrapped around your wrist, harshly pulling the weapon away from your head.

“What the fuck is wrong with you y/n?” At the sound of your brother’s voice, your eyes snapped open, widely looking over at the younger boy who was still holding your wrist. You flinched when Riki ripped the gun out of your hand, “would you really rather sacrifice yourself for your damn friends than choose to save your own fucking brother?” 

Your eyebrows scrunched together; what did he mean? Had he really expected you to shoot one of your friends? And Jay, of all of them? Then it dawned on you… why was he here if the psycho behind all of this had him captive?

“What are you talking about, Riki? Why are yo-” You were cut off by the stomach churning laugh that fell from the younger boy’s lips, your heart started racing as a bad feeling settled in your gut.

Riki tossed your hand from his grip before pointing the gun at you with a crazed look in his eyes. Your breath hitched in your throat as you looked at the barrel of the weapon in front of you before letting your gaze travel up to meet your brothers.

“What am I talking about?” He laughed again, moving his index finger from the trigger to point at you, “I’m talking about how you would be so willing to leave me alone rather than sacrifice one damn friend.” Your heart was beating in your ears as you watched the insane gleam overtake Riki’s eyes, a sight you had never seen a day in your life.

You swallowed thickly trying to make sense of everything as well as come up with some kind of answer to give the boy, but your brain was coming up blank. Noticing that you weren’t going to say anything, Riki scoffed, rolling his eyes. Though before he could say anything, he saw Jay shift in the corner of his eye.

“How did you even get out? Is the guy com-”

“Shut the fuck up,” Riki growled as he turned towards the older male, finally giving Jay a chance to see the crazed look in his eyes. “You know none of this would have happened if you had just kept your hands to yourself.” The younger boy dropped the gun to his side, allowing you to let out a breath that was being held hostage in your lungs.

Jay felt as though he had been hit with whiplash as Riki revealed the cause of all of this. What had he meant when he said that it was his fault? What had he done that deserved any of this? And what did he mean by saying if he had kept his hands to himself? Confusion clouded the male’s brain, and the question of ‘what?’ slipped past his lips before he even had a chance to catch it.

Riki’s glare towards the older male deepened but then morphed into a psychotic smirk as he brought the gun up to his own head, tapping the barrel against his temple. “Why don’t you use that brain of yours?” Riki’s smirk pulled wider as Jay looked at him with wide, shocked eyes. “No matter, though, because everything will still work out in the end.”

Jay felt his blood run cold as he started to realize what it was that was actually happening right now. Why was Riki standing with them instead of wherever he was being held ‘captive.’ He had never been taken in the first place. No. He was the one behind all of the hell they had been put through. 

“You’ll just be another name in the book, while me?” Riki leans closer to Jay with a psychotic smile on his lips, “I’ll be the main attraction once more.” The boy then leans away before raising the gun to aim at Jay, and your heart drops.

You didn’t wanna believe that it was your brother who was behind all of this. There was no way that he could be. Right? He was just being used by the actual mastermind. Being told to do things because they were using something against him. That had to be it.

But why did he look so happy to point that gun at Jay?

“Riki, no!” It was like time slowed down; you reached forward, knocking Riki’s hand to the side just as he pulled the trigger. The gunshot rang throughout the room, causing your ears to ring as you looked over at Jay with wide eyes. He was okay.

Riki’s head snapped towards you, pure, unfiltered rage burning in his eyes. He slammed the gun down on the table in front of Jay before reaching towards you. It happened way too quick for you to registar what was going on. All you knew was that a pain erupted in your head as Riki grabbed the back of your head, slamming it on the table.

“You stupid bitch!” Riki seethed as he pulled your head back up, taking in your dazed eyes and the blood that was trickling down from the wound on your forehead.

Your ears were ringing so loudly as you tried your best to keep your vision focused, but black spots were clouding your sight. You could faintly hear Jay screaming at Riki to let you go, but it felt like you were standing under an ongoing train. 

“It wouldn’t have come to this if you had just kept your promise,” Riki growled before dropping your head just as your vision turned black, your body slumping on the table. Blood from your wound pools under your skin, matting your hair.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jay thrashed around in his chair, his eyes flickering from your motionless body to Riki.

“Shut up.” Riki’s voice was cold and calm as he grabbed the gun, pointing it at Jay. His breath hitched in his throat as he stared at the barrel of the weapon, and he stopped moving completely. Riki then reached into his pocket before pulling out a small remote, “You try anything funny, and I won’t hesitate to blow holes into you and leave you here to bleed out.”

Jay felt a chill run down his spine as he looked at Riki. He knew that he wasn’t joking, seeing as he had already almost done that exact thing moments before. He nodded slowly, scared to make any quick, sudden movements.

Riki then released Jay, making him grab your still body before leaving the room, the gun still pointed at the back of his head.

Even with your eyes closed, it felt like your head was spinning, the light blinding even through your eyelids. A groan slipped past your parted lips as you tried to cover your eyes and blinked a few times. Only to realize that you couldn’t move your hands.

Panicked, your eyes shoot open, looking around the room. Where had you been taken? Because this wasn’t the same room you were previously in.

Then your eyes land on Jake. He was sitting by a table, his feet propped up on the surface cleaning the blade that was in his hands. The feeling of your eyes on him, Jake looked up, a wide smile spilling onto his lips.

“Well, good morning, there, sleeping beauty.” His voice was sickly sweet, and your stomach turned as you looked at him.

“Jake? Where am I?” You asked, your voice hoarse. 

Jake just made a ‘tsk’ sound as he stood on his feet, stabbing the knife into the table and making a loud thud, which caused you to jump. Fear started to etch into your bones as he stalked closer. Was he also a part of all of this? What happened to Sunghoon and Jungwon? Then you remembered that you were with Jay.

You started to move your head to look around the room for the silver-haired male, but Jake caught your chin between his thumb and forefinger. Your breath hitched in your throat as you met his eyes, a crazed gleam in them.

“It was about time you joined the party; it was getting pretty lonely without you.” His bottom lip jutted out as he looked over your face, “He couldn’t even last long enough for the real fun.” Jake sighed as he moved your head until your eyes landed on the male who was tied to a chair across from you.

Bile rose up your throat as you took in bloody and bruised. Jay was sitting there with his head hung low, eyes closed as blood slowly dripped from the tip of his nose. Was he even still breathing? What did they do to him?

Taking in the look of horror that was decorating your feature, he couldn’t help but chuckle slightly, “Does it disturb you?” He moved his hand away from your face before standing straight, “that’s a shame, red is such a pretty color.” His words caused your head to snap in his direction, staring at him with wide eyes.

How could he say that? Jay was one of his friends, so why the hell would he do this to him? You then started to remember little details that you had missed during the earlier times of this whole ordeal. How weird he had been acting in the room where Sunoo was killed. It was starting to make sense, but why?

Jake then moved away from you, making his way over to Jay and grabbing a fistful of his hair. You started to tug on your restraints forcefully, but it was no use; they were far too tight. Tears started to brim in your eyes as Jake tugged his head back, causing a groan to fall from the older’s lips. Jay’s eyes are open, his pupils dilating as he looks over at you, and your stomach turns once more. He had multiple cuts on his face, a black eye starting to form around his left eye, and you could clearly see the popped blood vessel that surrounded his iris.

“Say hi to your lover, boy,” Jake cranked Jay’s head further back, causing another groan to tear through his throat and a sob to leave yours. “Because as soon as Riki is back, he’ll be joining the others.” The smirk that was playing on Jake’s lips left a sense of dread to overtake your body.

Tears were streaming down your face as you looked at the brunette, “Why are you doing this?” You cried out, tears dripping from your chin. Jake just looked at you with a slightly tilted head like it was the weirdest question that you ever asked.

“I don’t really think you’re in any position to ask that question…” He trailed on as he shoved Jay’s head out of his hands, causing you to jump, and your eyes flickered over to the other male. Jake then walked back around Jay towards you, “This little fucker has bee-.”

Jake, however, was cut off when Riki walked into the room, eyes instantly narrowing into slits when he noticed how close Jake was to you, “Sit down, Jake.” His voice was cold, which only added to your unease, but what really shook you to your core was when Jake just rolled his eyes before moving towards the table.

Riki’s eyes then moved over to your teary eyes, his face relaxing a bit at the sight. He then walked over to you, reaching out to wipe your tears as he has done multiple times; this time, however, you flinched away from his touch.

“This will all be over soon, and we can go home.” He smiled and patted the top of your head, making you flinch once more. His words felt more sickening rather than comforting; what was he going to do? Was he going to kill Jay? Why?

Your trembling lips couldn’t seem to move as you watched in horror while Riki walked over to the table where Jake was sitting. He laid the handgun from earlier on the surface before grabbing the knife and pulling it from the wood.

“Now, be a good girl and just sit there and watch. You can do that, right?” Riki asked with a wicked smirk on his lips, the knife twirling in his hand. He then walked over to you with the knife outstretched, the point merely inches away from your face. You bit your tongue as he moved closer, putting the blade under your chin to lift your head. “Just sit back and enjoy the show.” He chuckled before moving towards Jay.

The closer he got to the incoherent male, the more your heart hammered in your chest. Sobs and cries fell from your lips as you thrashed around in your restraints, hoping that they would give. 

“Leave him alone!” You screamed out, tears blurring your vision as Riki moved the knife to Jay’s face, “He didn’t do anything wrong, please, Riki!” You screamed, pulling harder at your restraints, causing the chair to move underneath you.

Riki looked back at you with crazed eyes, “Nothing?” His tone was full of amusement as he roughly grabbed Jay’s head, pulling it back and bringing the tip of the blade to his cheek, “He’s done nothing but get in the way.” Riki seethed, digging the point into Jay’s skin, eliciting a loud cry of pain from the older male.

“Please leave him alone!” You screamed out again, pleading over and over again like a broken record. The sound quickly annoyed Riki as he continued to leave small, deep cuts all over Jay’s cheek. 

Groaning, he raised his hand to rub the crease between his eyebrows. " Find something and shut her up, jeez!” Riki exclaimed, looking over at Jake, who quickly got to his feet. He grabbed something from the other side of the table before walking over to you, but you continued to scream and cry.

You tried to fight against Jake’s hold as he started to wrap a piece of cloth around your mouth, but it was pointless; he was too strong. Tears continued to stream down your face as you watched Riki continuously dig the blade into Jay’s skin, causing him to cry out and groan. 

Was this how your life was going to be? Were you going to get out of here and have to pretend that your brother and best friend didn’t just kill everyone that you have ever cared about? Go on having to keep a distance from anyone in fear of either of them doing anything like this again? Would you really have to carry around the guilt of knowing that all of this was because of you? Your nails were digging so deep into the palm of your hand that you had broken the skin, causing blood to pool in your fingers.

This was going to be the end.

Jake moved away from you, backing up until he stood against the table. His fingers wrapped around the holster of the gun, picking it up. Then, while Riki’s back was turned towards him, Jake moved around you to stand behind the younger boy. You didn’t even notice your gaze glued to the blood that was dripping from Jay’s motionless face, having passed out yet again due to all of the pain.

The older male raised the gun until it was leveled with the back of Riki’s head. It was when the gun clicked that you tore your eyes away from Jay and looked over at Jake. Your heart dropped even further into your stomach as you realized that he could easily kill your brother. 

“Thanks for letting me help, but I’m afraid this is where we come to an end.” Jake’s voice was cool as he wrapped his finger around the trigger. Riki dropped his hands down to his side, allowing Jay’s head to hang lowly. He then turned his head just enough to look at Jake, an unreadable expression on his face.

“You’re right…” Riki smirked, turning fully to face Jake, his body completely relaxed. “This is the end of the line for us, but…” Just then, Jake’s hand started to tremble as blood seeped from his nose, dripping down onto the floor; coughs racked his body, causing him to double over, “Not for me.”

You were completely shocked as you watched Jake cough into his hand, only to pull away with a handful of blood. What was happening? Your eyes went wide as Riki just tilted his head, watching Jake with an amused smile.

“Did you really think you could try and take me out without me realizing it?” Riki laughed, crossing his arms over his chest, the blade of the knife pointing in Jake’s direction. “Oh boy, you must have forgotten who I am, Jake.” He placed the blade under Jake’s chin, lifting his head much like he had done to you earlier, “I was planning on getting rid of you, but you just made it a whole lot easier for me.”

Jake started wheezing, dropping the gun to the ground. He clutched his neck as his throat started to close up. His body swayed from side to side. Blood continued to pour from his nose like a waterfall, and before too long, his body dropped to the ground. 

You watched as tears continued to flow from your bloodshot eyes. Watching as yet another friend of yours died. Killed by your brother.

Riki glanced over at you, smirking at the horrified expression that was displayed on your pretty face. A look he wished he could etch into his brain for the rest of his life, but he was sure he’d see it again if you ever stepped out of line again. The feeling of something hitting his foot caused the younger boy to look down just as Jake’s eyes rolled back and he stopped moving completely. Blood pooled around his head as it continued to flow from his nose and the corner of his lips. His eyes were completely red as they stared at the ceiling, lifeless.

You felt like you were going to be sick at the sight of all of the blood. The lifeless expression on Jake’s face is forever etched in your brain. The tears had stopped as you sat there in shock, your heart hammering so loudly it was deafening.

Stepping over Jake, Riki walked over to stand behind you. Your whole body jolted when his hands came down to rest on your shoulders, fingers digging into your skin. He then moved down until his face was right next to yours, looking over at Jay’s unmoving body to Jake’s lifeless form on the ground.

“Isn’t the sight just beautiful?” He asked; the sinister tone of his voice sent a chill down your spine. “Don’t worry so much about them, sis. You have me, and that’s more than enough.” He pulled away from you, patting the top of your head once more. You squeezed your eyes shut, pushing more tears out, sobs racking your lungs once more.

He then untied the cloth muffling your sounds, throwing it off to the side before moving to stand in front of you. You, however, refused to meet his eyes, keeping them glued to the ground by his feet.

Riki just rolled his eyes before moving back towards Jay. He knew you would snap out of it eventually whenever the two of you got back home. You had done the same thing after leaving your parent's house, so why wouldn’t you be able to do it again?

He grabbed Jay’s head once more, twirling the knife around in his hand, ready to plunge it into the older male's neck, but you had started screaming at him to stop once again. He looked at you from over his shoulder, a glare adorning his face.

“Please, Riki, I’ll do anything! Just leave him alone!” You sobbed, thrashing about once again.

Scoffing, Riki just shook his head before turning back to Jay. You weren’t ever going to understand that your words meant nothing. Jay was going to die one way or another.

He was the last person on his list, after all.

Riki then started bringing the knife down, ignoring your screams for him to stop. Then there was a loud bang as the door bounced off of the wall behind it, a bunch of geared-up men rushing inside.

Your eyes went wide as you realized who these people were… the police. You were saved. Jay was saved. Tears once again welled up in your eyes, and for the first time in the whole night, you let out a sigh of relief.

Your ears started ringing, and it felt like everything was moving in a blur as a few of the cops grabbed Riki, forcing him to drop the knife and shoving him to the ground. His shouts of protest were ignored as they cuffed his hands behind his back.

Another cop walked behind you and undid your binds, asking you questions, none of which registered in your head as you watched them tug your brother to his feet. Watching as they drug him out of the room, you thought…

You’re finally safe.

You sat in the back of an ambulance, the paramedic checking you over to make sure there wasn’t anything seriously wrong. She had asked you a few questions but you could only respond with a series of hums, your brain not quite working.

“It does seem like you might have a concussion, so please take caution with any physical activities.” She informed you as she dropped her hands to her side and you just nodded, eyes staying glued to the ground.

When she started to move away, you looked up, hands closing around the bandages they had wrapped your hands in.

“Um, where’s Jay?” You asked, your voice hoarse from all of the screaming and crying. The paramedic turned back towards you, offering a small smile.

“The boy you were with? He’s on the way to the hospital along with the other boy.” You felt your shoulders relax, a sigh leaving your lips. Then, her words fully registered. Other boy? Riki was in the back of a cop car on his way to the station, not the hospital. So, who else could it be?

“Other boy?”

She nodded, “The boy who called the police, Jungwon, I think his name was.” She informed you, and tears instantly started to pour from your eyes.

Jungwon was okay. You were so sure that he had been killed, too, but he was okay. He was safe and alive. The paramedic smiled sympathetically as you cried, hand resting on your shoulder in a comforting manner.

“Was he okay?” You hiccuped, wiping some of the tears away, but they were quickly replaced with more.

“He was stabbed pretty badly, but by some miracle, he survived, and he’ll be okay.” She patted your shoulder before moving out of the way when an officer made his way towards you.

As you answered the cop's question, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. The hellish night had finally been put to an end. You and the rest of your friends were going to be okay. Riki was going to be locked away for a very long time. It was over.

...Right?

@wwooyology | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.