#Jason is tracking all the shit he deals with while he’s in this adventure so he can back charge Bruce babysitting fees when he gets back

[evasive-anon]

Danny trying to find them a way home is just him ripping portals open hoping he gets to the right dimension. He’s has not gotten to the right dimension yet, and worse (or better), every portal he has made has led to a giant boss monster strutting out of it. Their guild is famous for defeating powerful beast but 80% of them have been Danny delivered. The bats end up designating a set day and time for Danny to make new portal attempts to avoid any summonings getting to town.

Their party could have gotten by just through adventuring work and turning in monster corpses but they end up having to setup business deals and it’s literally only because Damian won’t stop beast taming every fuzzy monster he can find. He tamed a Fenrir two weeks in and it eats more than their combined body weight in meat and needs a stable. Jason begs Damian not to stop taking giant monsters because how the hell are they going to afford this but Damian has only just begun.

Tim is has fallen hard into the absent-minded professor trope as he’s putting all his energy into using this worlds tools and magic into recreating all the gadgets he missed and making new ones. Dude classed into Artificer and got lost in the sauce. Within a week Tim has reinvented the backbone of all telecommunications using magic and has a working cell phone, smart phone in the works if he could just get the right materials. He created this world’s first bag of holding as a side project for this so it’s be easier to bring monster corpses back to town.

Jason was the most hyped initially to land in a fantasy setting but tbh he’s going through it. Dickface didn’t come with them and now he’s getting eldest sister’d for it. Damian and Tim basically never think about how much things cost or how much gold they need to survive and both of them love spending fat stacks on their interests. He’s constantly trying to wrangle their expenditures and he started selling Tim’s inventions to merchants and their city’s lord to make rent. He has deals with the merchants on monster parts so now they have quotas to meet. He’s the only one who can cook so now everyone keeps coming up to him and telling him their hungry. Whenever one of the other 3 get into trouble in town the citizens come find him because he’s their party leader. They’re literally all his problem.

Bright side for Jason, the All Blades are still with him in this world and they totally work against monsters in this ‘verse. Also, beating the shit out of criminals in town is applauded by local lords and town guards. Back home breaking a guys hand for trying to harassing a woman would get him in trouble, but here? He’s the towns favorite.

The first few days in the new world are wild. Danny is their best shot at going home and he required near constant babysitting the first week due to his runaway attempts. Runaway attempts that almost always ended in an emergency fight thanks to Danny ripping open a portal the moment he got clear. Danny eventually stops trying to runaway when he realized he was just making more problems but only after Jason dragged him around a couple weeks first.

Danny, Jason, Tim and Damian get Isakaid into a high fantasy world.

Jason is enjoying himself due to his love of period dramas and Damian has somehow managed to gain the class of Beast Tamer. Do not ask how many animals he has the answer is too many.

Tim at first was suffering immensely thanks to the lack of tech and many of the things he loved from the modern world being missing (thankfully this world does have indoor plumbing) until he realizes he can just make some of the stuff himself as an inventor.

Danny tries to flee, seeing as the reason they're in this mess to begin with is all Dannys fault (authors choice as to how) but kept getting recaptured until he stopped. Now he helps the others with whatever they need in-between trying to find a way home and stargazing.

Unfortunately for the isakai world the bats are scary no matter where they are. They become a party in a guild and-alongside Danny-basically stomp everything flat.

[her-world-on-fire]

It Was All Yellow {Jason Todd x Reader}

MASTERLIST

REQUEST HERE

Word Count: 2,424

Request: Jason or Damain finding you, the happy girl, singing a sad song and crying while on patrol. If possible, do you think the song could be If I Could Ride a Bike by Chevy? Thanks, you're a godsend <3

A/N: Sorry if this wasn’t what you imagined, hope you like it anon!

I LISTENED to the sound of own heartbeat. It echoed loudly, and I looked over at Jason, fearing he would wake at any moment. He had fallen asleep almost as soon as we got to the apartment. I didn’t blame him, almost every night he was working himself to death. Crime rates increased with every new vigilante. The work never seemed to stop. No matter how much we tried it seemed like Gotham was the same as we left it the night before. I watched as his chest slowly rose then fell. His face was expressionless, his usual smirk was gone.

Jason was sore, I could tell by the way he moved he was in pain. He tried his best to hide it, but I noticed it. I noticed that he hot showers to try and ease the pain. The steam flowed from under the crack over the door, and found its home on the mirrors and walls. Every night before he went to sleep he would sneak into the kitchen and take ibuprofen. I could hear the pills rattling inside the bottles, and his hushed footsteps as he hurried back into his room.

This was the most peaceful I had seen him all week.

His head was resting on my lap. I pulled the blanket over him as gently as I could. It was only 8pm, he needed to sleep to recover. I didn’t have to worry about the boys waking him up. Jason had insisted on getting his own place. He knew I never felt quite at home in the manor, and let me stay with him.

I turned off the TV and leaned against the arm rest. I wanted to try and get some sleep too.

I woke up to the sound of Jason’s phone ringing. I looked around, and he wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen. My best guess was the shower. I grabbed his phone, it was Artemis. I bolted to the bathroom. “Jason!” 

I reached the bathroom door and he immediately swung it open. He looked over at me. “What? Are you alright?” I held up his phone.  He looked at the caller ID. “Oh shit.” He took his phone, and answered it, bringing it to his ear. “Hey.”

I looked at Jason, his hair was still soaking wet. The water dripped from his hair down to his neck, them his chest. He had his towel wrapped around his waist. I motioned I was going to go into the kitchen. And he nodded and closed the door. He spoke quietly. A few moments later I heard him move into the closet.

Artemis.

Artemis was a former teammate, and from the way Dick told it, they were more than that. I tried my best to push the negative thoughts out of my head. I started making breakfast when I heard a loud crash. “Jason?” I moved away from the kitchen and into the hallway. I heard rustling coming from inside his room. “Jason? Are you okay?” The door opened and Jason emerged with a duffel bag. “Have you seen my holster?” He didn’t look at me as he zipped up his duffel bag.

“It’s in the laundry room.” He moved past me and to the laundry room. He didn’t speak. He moved back and forth between the rooms collecting his things. “I paid this months rent. Alfred will continue the payments on my behalf just in case.” I blinked in shock. A month’s rent? Just in case?

“You’re leaving?” He stayed silent. He looked over the apartment, trying to make sure he didn’t miss anything. Finally he looked over at me. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He reached for the door and paused. He mumbled something under his breath. He turned back to me and pointed a finger.

“Don’t go out on patrol alone.” With that, he was gone.

------------------------------------------------------------

Dick had noticed a change in Y/N’s behavior. Normally, Y/N was the highlight of patrol. Constantly positive and bubbly, it made the night go much faster. But since Jason left, Y/N was quiet. No more humming, the laughter that had once illuminated the night was gone.

Not even Dick knew why Jason was gone. It was Jason didn’t want any backup, it was something he needed to do alone. He didn’t want to risk Y/N getting caught up in his mess. He was sending updates to Jason but he wasn’t sure that he was getting them. If Jason wanted to be alone, he knew exactly how to do it. He cut off all forms of communication and was consumed by the job. It had been 2 weeks and he was silent. No one knew where he was. No one knew if he was even alive. Roy informed Dick that Jason had stopped by for supplies. But he hadn’t heard anything since.

Whatever he was doing, he was sure to hide it. No news reports caught wind of his activities. For his sake, Dick hoped that Jason was on the right path. The last time Jason broke his promise to Bruce beat him until he was almost unrecognizable. Jason had even remarked he had never seen him hit the Joker as hard.

There was an insatiable anger in Bruce. He had trusted Jason to operate in Gotham under the condition he wouldn’t kill anyone. Then Jason went on national television and nearly killed Cobblepot, by shooting him point blank. The boys were at a loss, neither of them knew what to do. Bruce insisted on dealing with it himself. Jason only got away because Roy saved him. Dick wasn’t sure how they would stop Bruce this time.

-----------------------------------

Jason slung his duffel bag across his shoulder. He released a sigh as he stretched. He had been driving all night to get back as soon as possible. He had a lot of explaining to do. He had received all of Dick’s messages.

Let me know you’re alright.

Tim can’t track your location, just check in.

Jason we haven’t heard from you in 3 weeks.

Y/N’s not doing good.

He felt guilty for just leaving, but he had to. He knew that if he gave explanations then Dick would try and talk him out of it. It would give Tim more time to figure out how to track him. More importantly he knew if Y/N had asked, he would’ve stayed.

Jason entered the apartment. After being gone for so long it seemed almost foreign. There were a few noticeable changes. The curtains that were almost always drawn open to let in the sun were shut. More importantly it looked empty. Almost as if no one was inhabiting it.

There was no evidence of dirty dishes, no laundry, and everything was spotless. It was too clean for anyone to be living here. When he opened the fridge his suspicious were confirmed. There was no food. It was almost empty, apart from a case of water. He sighed, Dick was right. Things were not good. He looked around the apartment, trying to find any hint of where Y/N went.

The only thing missing, was a single outfit.

Y/N’s suit.

Jason decided to visit all the patrol spots he knew. Each one of them came up empty. Just as he was about to give up, he heard something. Jason stopped. He faintly heard a voice in the distance. It was barley audible, but he somehow caught it. He tried to find the source, he walked towards the stairs. It had to have been coming from the roof top. As he got closer, he heard an accompanying soft piano.

“If I could sail a boat I'd cruise across the sea. A sweet adventure for us two. I'll be Jack and you rose.”

The voice began to falter, there were so many emotions just begging to be released. Jason didn’t want to interrupt, in fear of the voice stopping. He didn’t walk completely up the stairs. He was mesmerized by the sound. He stayed at the bottom steps, as quietly as possible. It took him a while to process that he knew the voice.

It was Y/N. He had not ever heard Y/N sad. He continued listening as the voice grew louder. “Just please don't let me go. Cause I'll be nothing without you.” The desperation made Jason want to make his presence known. He wanted Y/N to know that he was there. He wanted to help, more than anything. He slowly walked up the stairs. “Oh when you call me, I'm drifting on clouds. Like I'm dream-ing.”

“But in the morn-ing, I'll wake up and see that you’re stuck here with me. If only you knew what I would do for you I'd jump up and hold you so tightly.”  With every verse, the voice grew softer. There was more sadness in each line. He listened carefully to the lines, trying to piece together the information. Each line made it apparent, unrequited love.

-

“But I will never be able to do these things, so I'm just left imagin-ing.”  As the song ended, I finally let all my emotions go. No one knew where Jason was and I was beginning to give up hope. I was sitting on the ledge of the rooftop. Police scanners were quiet. There were no distressed civilians. For once it seemed like Gotham was having a good night. Jason wasn’t here to see it. I moved to get up, in search of something. I had been trying to distract myself as much as possible with work. I couldn’t stand being inside the empty apartment anymore. For the first two weeks I stayed in hoping that one night Jason would come back and everything would be okay. But by the third week, it was evident he wouldn’t be back any time soon. When I did sleep, I stayed with Roy. We had been working together to try and track Jason but it appeared he had learned some new tricks.

I heard a creak come from behind me. I turned around immediately, but there was nothing there. I was about to venture down the stars when I heard something. “Hey.” I froze. That voice. I turned around and saw Jason. He was in his street clothes. He looked drained. There were a few small cuts and some bruising on his face. I moved closer to him, and let out a breath I had been holding in. I was relived he was okay, but I was angry at him for leaving.

“I didn’t know you were back. I didn’t even know if you were-“ I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence, but he knew. “I went to the apartment and it was empty. I noticed your suit was missing. I figured I would find you out here.” He moved closer and wiped the tears from my eyes. “How much did you hear?” I asked nervously. I was hoping he arrived after I had finished but by the look on his face it was apparent he didn’t.

“Almost all of it.”

“I don’t even know where to start.” He paused, “I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I just disappeared.” I nodded and thought back to each restless night. Not knowing was the worst part. “A long time ago, someone really bad got away. I lost his trail, but I’ve been keeping tabs on him. He resurfaced and I couldn’t let him get away again.” He put his arm around me, “But I won’t ever leave you like that again.” He placed a kiss on top of my head. Silent tears streamed down my face and I took in his warm embrace.

“Let’s go home. The boy’s have this covered.” I looked at him in shock. He had never called the apartment home. He always said that it was just somewhere he slept. He had never felt that it was home. “I thought the apartment wasn’t home?”

“It’s not home without you.”

We got back to the apartment and Jason reached for the door. He opened the door and I moved to turn on the lights. I stopped, the table was lit by candles. The floor was scattered with rose petals. It was nothing like how I left it. It felt comforting again. “I had Roy bring your things back.” He shut the door behind us. “It’s perfect.” I turned around and wrapped my arms around him. He ran his hands through my hair. “Come on,” He took my hand and led me to the bathroom. It was lit by a few candles. The bath was set with warm water. “I know you haven’t been here much and I thought you would appreciate it.”

“I’ll be in the bedroom, when you get out.” He placed my towel and some clothes on the sink and departed.

Once I got out I followed the petals into the bedroom. The bedroom was back to it was before. Jason had left a mess when he left, and I left a mess moving back and forth between Roy’s. Everything was neatly put away. Jason by now had changed out of his street clothes and into his sleep wear. He was laying down staring at the ceiling. Once I closed the door he looked over. “How was it?”

“I haven’t done that in a long time.” I moved to the bed and joined him. He opened his arms and I put my head on his chest. “Are you okay?” I looked up at him and examined his face. The darkness hid the severity pretty well. Now in the light, it looked worse. “You should see the other guy.” I shook my head and laughed a little. “Really, I’m okay. It’s not as bad as it looks.”

“Prove it.” He leaned over and kissed me. It was soft, and needy. After weeks, it finally seemed like it was going to be okay again. He pulled away and pulled me closer. He pulled the covers over me, and kissed my forehead again. “Get some sleep babe.”

“How are you?”

“Better, now.” He ran his thumb across my cheek, “I’m so sorry.”

And for the first time in weeks, I slept soundly.

MASTERLIST

REQUEST HERE

[sparkleofpizza]

My oh my - Jason Todd x reader

A/n: Hey guys, this is the first time I am writing for Jason. Every time I listen to My oh my by Camilla Cabello I can’t help but imagine a story about him, so I just had to do it. Also, there is a part in here that I got inspired from Gilmore Girls because I am team Logan and I wish they ended up together.

Requested: no

Warnings: swearing, song inspired

Summary: They say he likes a good time, he comes alive at midnight, my mama doesn’t trust him, he’s only here for one thing, but so am I 

Word count: 3.2k

It was very cold for a Spring night, even for Gotham. The moon was a full circle displaying in the sky, shining so bright, the streets wouldn’t even night lamps for you to know what’s in front of you - of course that wasn’t enough for a city like this. 

You heaved a sight, surprise white smoke didn’t come out of your mouth. You felt as if your bones were freezing, hands stuffed under your arm pits as you were crossing them, trying to provide some warmth. God, why did you agree to go out on a night like this?

When your best friend and roommate Ari, called you earlier that day to declare you were going  out, you were very very tempted to say no. Then you remembered all of the hard work you put into the last paper for a class at University, and decided that maybe going out with her wouldn’t be such a bad idea. What you didn’t expect was for her to barge into your bedroom an hour before you were supposed to go out, and pick up clothes that provided too little warmth. She said where you were going, this outfit would look nicer than the jeans you had picked. 

A street race wasn’t where you thought you would spend your night. Damn Ari and her crazy ideas. 

She overheard there was going to be a street race near Crime Alley, and that most people from University would be there so she said it would be cool for you two to go too. Well, it did sound a bit cool, if you were being honest. Street race? Sounded something from a movie, and you didn’t have many exciting memories to one day cherish and tell your kids and grandkids, maybe this could be one. If it ended badly, it would be one hell of a story, if it ended ok, then it would still be a cool story. 

But now, there you were, standing alone in a crowd because Ari left to go to the bathroom with another girl from your shared class. You knew you probably should’ve gone together because you don’t ever stay alone in Gotham, specially at night. But hey, these are college people, your college people. Nothing bad would happen, right?

You took a sip from your drink, hoping the alcohol would do that thing where it warms you up and makes you feel fuzzy. 

“Hey, princess. What are you doing here all alone?” 

You turned your head to the side finding none other than Jason Todd. He had a red cup similar to yours in hand, his signature lather jacket, black pants and boots. His hair was that fluffy mess, and he look good as always. 

You met Jason a few weeks ago at the University library, you both reached out for the same book. He said he was waiting for his little brother and was bored so he decided to take on the opportunity of free good books, he wasn’t a college student. And ever since you two kept bumping into each other. 

Your cheeks warmed up at the words that left his lips. Princess. He had been calling you that ever since you two met at the library. You tried to push away the surprised look on your face at seeing him here, it does look like his kind of place. He looks like the kind of guy who enjoys adventures and adrenaline.

“I came here with my friends, but they went to the bathroom.” you said, smiling at him “What about you?” 

“Well… I don’t have a date with me tonight, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

You adverted your eyes to the side, taking a deep breath, totally embarrassed. You didn’t meant it like that.

“Oh, that’s good?” It sounded like a questioned, God you are so awkward 

He smirked at you.

“Glad to know you think it’s good I’m single. I happen to think it is good that you’re single, too.”

You frowned. Was he thinking that just because you didn’t have a date for the night, you weren’t able to have a love life? 

“What makes you think I am single?” You questioned, hoping your frustration didn’t leak into your voice

“I am hoping you are. I mean, if you are dating someone, that person is an asshole for not being here with you tonight, this isn’t one of the nicest places in Gotham.”

You nodded, a small smiling tugging your lips. That was a nice safe, you had to give it to him.

“Is there a nice place in Gotham?” You ironized 

You were born and raised in Metropolis, you were used to big cities and the down side of it, but Gotham? That was another thing completely different. A giant hole in front your high school because Superman and his cute little sidekick Superboy were fighting some bad alien? Ok, you can deal with it. A guy dressed up as a clown who laughs way too hard and torture people for fun while he fights a guy dressed as a bat? That you cannot deal with. 

You didn’t understand why Jason thought what you said was so funny. He laughed, trowing his had back.

“I mean, did Batman just woke up one day and was like hey, what if I dress up as a giant bat and start beating up criminals? What was going trough his head to choose a bat?”

Jason couldn’t believe you were making fun of Bruce without even knowing it. It brightened his day so much, and the fact that you had no idea only made it better. He was going to tell the old man all about it later, so he could laugh even harder.

You smiled as you watched him laugh. He looked so beautiful.

“Are you cold?” He asked once he stopped laughing, he saw goosebumps in your arms 

“Yeah, I forgot to get a jacket before I left my dorm.” You admitted sheepishly 

Jason smiled at you, he had a nice smile. He shrugged off his lather jacket and placed it over your shoulders. It was warm from his body heat, and it smelled incredibly good.

“Thank you.” You smiled at him “But aren’t you going to get cold?”

“I can handle being a little cold, and if it gets too much, we can just hug each other?” He shot up his eyebrows 

You you were sure you looked like a tomato.

Jason smiled at you. He had taken an instant liking at you when he meet you at the library, something about the way you smiled at him saying he could have the book and you would just get it after he was done with it, and how your voice sounded so sweet and your eyes looked at him like he wasn’t bothering you by taking the book you wanted. He was waiting for you to lash out on him when he said he was just wanting for his brother, something like “you don’t even go here and you are trying to get my book?” He was trying to get rid of those bad thoughts, he was used to being pushed aside and treated like he was a pice of shit bothering people on the street. He sometimes, specially after his death, forgot that maybe there was still nice and polite people in Gotham. 

It didn’t take long for him to realize you were a good girl, a good nice girl. He mostly ran into you at the library and at the coffee shop at the campus. You always smile sweetly at him and wave. The first time Tim had caught that action, he stopped in his tracks and stared at Jason like he was an alien and he had just now realized it. You two were completely opposites, and obviously his brother would find it odd that you were waving at Jason Todd. 

And meeting you tonight at a street race? That was not what he was expecting your next meeting to be like. He was there to gather some intel about the gangs that was participating and what Black Mask and the Penguin wanted with them. Finding you here was rather concerning, this didn’t seem to be your element. And it wasn’t, from what he had learned in your brief conversations during your random meet ups. 

“Have you ever been to a street race before?” He asked, voicing a bit of his thoughts 

You shook your head, hoping he wouldn’t find you pathetic “No. I normally don’t do this kind of stuff, I don’t know how Ari managed to convince me to come.”

He smiled “Yeah, this doesn’t seem like your kind of thing. But it is a good thing, I mean, this is kind of dangerous.”

“Oh God.” You muttered under your breath “Dangerous as I could end up in jail or I could end up dead in an alley?” 

He decided not to answer. The first answer was that the GCPD was corrupted and that they wouldn’t really care, the vigilantes in the city did most of the job. That wouldn’t be a good start. And the second answer was that you could end up dead in an alley, and the probably would make you feel a bit scared, and he didn’t want to make you afraid of being there, because he couldn’t exactly say he could and would protect you if something bad happened. You would think he was just trying to show off, when in reality he actually really could. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” Jason asked you after having watched a part of the street race

He, now, had a good idea of why Penguing and Black Mask were interested in those people. He had nothing better left to do, and hey, there you were right by his side even after your friends had returned. You were still taking to him, and using his jacket.

You thought for a moment before nodding your head. You told Ari you were heading out with Jason, and she gave you a knowing look before asking you to text her when you got back to the dorm. 

You walked between the crowd of people with Jason right in front of you. At some point, he reached out for your hand and kept holding it, guiding you to God knows where. You had no idea why you agreed to this, you barely know him and you knew enough bad stories to know you shouldn’t be leaving with him. But he was so nice with you all of the times you talked, and he was soooo good looking. 

You stopped in front of a motorcycle. He pulled the keys out of his jeans’s pocket and smile at you, handing you the helmet and climbing on top of his bike. 

“My dad always told me to never ride a bike with a boy.” You smiled at him, playing with the helmet in your hands 

Right now, Jason thought you looked breath taking, and all he wanted to do was kiss you. He wasn’t surprised at all by his thoughts as he had thought them before and before. What surprised him was the flirtatious tone on your voice, he couldn’t help but feel more attracted than before. You were polar opposites, and that was everything he needed in his life ever since he came back, someone to help him maintain balance.

“So what are you going to do, princess?” He questioned in a hushed tone

“Tonight I don’t want to be the girl that does what her parents says.” 

And then you had placed the helmet on your head, and climbed on top of the bike, right behind him. You could feel Jason’s warmth, you were so close to him, and that cologne smell? You could stay like this, having your chest pressed agains his back.

“Then I suggest you hold on tight.” 

He sped up, making you giggle in his ear as your arms wrapped around his body. 

After spending most of the rest of the night together, around 4 am, Jason walked you to your dorm. You were still wearing his jacket, and you definitely didn’t want to take it off. 

You had went out to get some food after driving around for a while, and spend most of the time sitting at a booth on a fast food, eating fries and sipping on milkshakes. He was a great company, and you enjoyed the way you could talk about a lot of things and never seem to run out of things to say. 

You leaned on your doorstep, staring up at him with a small smile tugging on your lips.

“Thank you for tonight. I had a really good time.”

“Me too.” He smiled back at you “What do I have to do get to spend more nights like this with you?”

A devious smile took place in your face, you had no idea where de boldness came from, but the words flew out of your mouth before you could even properly think about what you were doing.

“If you kiss me, I might let it happen.”

And Jason didn’t wait a second to comply. His hands cupped your cheeks, bringing your face closer until your lips met. You stood on your tiptoes, meeting him halfway there since he was so tall. Arms wrapped around his neck, enjoining the warm feeling that spread on your stomach. 

You pulled apart when air became necessary. You smile at him, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“Goodnight, Jason.” You said, unlocking your door

“Goodnight, y/n.” He watched you walk into your dorm and stayed still until he listened to your door being locked again, just to make sure you were being safe 

You felt as if you were walking on clouds. You couldn’t believe you had just said, what you had just did, what had happened tonight. It all seemed like it was part of some movie. 

“You’re only arriving right now?” Ari groaned from the couch, making you jump in scare since you didn’t see her there “I was worried you didn’t text.”

“Sorry. I thought you would be out longer than me.” You pulled off your shoes “Did you have fun at the race after I left?”

“If I had fun?” She sat up on the couch “Did you have fun? I want to know all about your night with Jason Todd!”

You giggled, not quite believing it just yet. You sat on the arm chair, feeling your back muscle relax against the comfortable cushion, bikes don’t really provide back support and that kind of made your muscles sore. You wrapped his jacket tighter around your body.

“It was really nice, he is a nice guy.”

Ari smiled at you, asking you to keep talking, so you ended up telling her everything about your night with him. Usually, this was the other way around, she would tell you about her dates and what they did, if it was good or not. You are the single friend, always the single friend, this was a good change of scenario.

“I’m really happy for you.” She said “But I just want you to be careful, he has kind of a bad reputation around campus, and he doesn’t even go here. They say he likes to have a good time, just it.”

You nodded your head, understanding where she was coming from. But you wanted to have a good time too, so…

“I don’t think it’s a good idea you hanging around this Jason guy.” Your sister said on the other end of the line “Mom doesn’t like him.”

You rolled your eyes. You once, accidentally, slipped out that you have been hanging out with Jason when your mom called and you were getting ready to go out. She had asked you why you were wearing pants if it was so close to summer which meant it was hot, and you said and regret because it is uncomfortable to wear a skirt while riding a bike. Now, Jason was the bad guy.

“She doesn’t even know him.” You protested 

“Yeah, and I don’t think she wants to.”

Well, if she keeps up this atitude about him then you don’t think you want her to either. 

You heard knocking coming from your window, making you frown. You pulled your curtain away, seeing Jason standing on the other side of the glass, a small smile tugging at his lips, hands stuffed inside his jacket’s pockets, and hair pushed back in that way he knew you liked it.

“I have to go. There is someone knocking at the door.” 

“At midnight?” Your little sister asked 

“It’s Ari, she forgot her keys.” You lied, Ari was in her room fast asleep after having stayed up until 5 am doing a research paper “Bye.”

You ended the call, tossing your phone on the bed and opening up the window. 

“Hey.” you said

“Hey.”

“Can I come in?” He asked in a low voice, probably not to get notice by anyone 

“Sure.” You stepped back, watching him climb your window 

“This always looked cooler in the movies.” He chuckled 

You smiled at him when he got closer “I think you climbed the window very gracefully.”

Jason smiled at you, pulling you into him, enjoining your warmth and the calmness you brought him.

“So…” you looked at him “What are you doing here at midnight on a Friday? Well, Saturday.” 

“I didn’t like the idea that we couldn’t spend this Friday together, it is kind of our day.” You try not to get the wrong idea by what he said, but it was true, you always hung out on Fridays, always coming up with different things to do, weather it was the movies, dinner, or reading books together “I knew you’d still be up so I decided to pay you a visit.”

“Thank you, I enjoyed the surprise.”

He leaned down, connecting your lips in a sweet kiss. You hummed in approval, sliding your hands over his chest until his jacket had fallen on the bedroom floor. When you pulled apart, you stared wide eyed innocently at him, just now catching up to the fact that you had pulled a move on doing something more by sliding his jacket off of him.

“Do you want me to go?” He asked, stroking your cheek 

You leaned in and kissed him again. Pulling him closer to you.

“Y/n, do you want me to go?” He asked one more time, against your lips 

“No. I want you to stay.”

Jason kissed you again, you walked backwards, falling on the bed with him on top of you. 

This was all you have been wanting for a while. Right now you didn't really care about all you have been hearing about Jason - ever since people found out you have been hanging out, they would come to you to say how he was just simply looking for fun, apparently he only ever showed up at the University when he either was there to pick up his brother, or he wanted to know about some party, or get together or whatever. But the Jason you got to know, he actually made plans with you outside of it, he didn't want to spend time with you just at a party you randomly met up, he wanted to talk to you, and take you to the movies. 

People like to talk too much, but you weren't going to let his bad reputation come in the way of allowing you to have a good time. In a long time, you had met a boy who seemed to worth it spending your time with, and he always made sure you were enjoining your time with him.

You knew there was also the part that your mom didn't like him, all your life she always told you to never trust guys like him. But you have been doing the right thing all your life, always being the good girl who did the good thing and never got into trouble. Tonight, when you were with him, you didn't want to be her. Wasn't this what part of what college experience was like? Doing things you'd regret? 

In the end, you knew you'd never regret having done any of this with him. 

[robinasnyder]

(I decided to add more)

Bruce eventually gets around to introducing everyone. And Danny's like, odd about it. He gets really excited when Bruce introduces himself, but then he gets more and more excited when Bruce introduces him to Jason, Stephanie and Cass.

Danny's all like "oh thank the ancients! I don't have to track you down. Here, I need all of you to sign these." And he pulls out three entirely identical sets of paperwork and a much bigger (and purple) pack for Bruce.

"Yeah, so, the last king was useless even before he was locked up. There's a process when people come back to life. Thankfully for me, most of the people who came back have since died, but I'm having to find everyone and make them fill this shit out."

Bruce realizes with a chill that all of the ones he handed paperwork to had died before. Except him.

"So, is that what Damian signed?" Tim asks. "Cause you know, he wasn't im the right mind to comprehend anything."

While Danny sheepishly produces Damian's papers for Tim to review, Bruce's mind is whirring.

"Danyal," he starts.

"Oh no! Nope, it's Danny, not Daniel and certainly not Dan. Just Danny."

"Danny. Why are my papers different."

"Cause they're from Clockwork, who's the master of time. You appearantly had a time stream adventure and he needs this filled out," Danny explains.

Bruce is honestly relieve. He starts to read and finds out that's exactly what the papers are. They're easily some of the most thorough records he's ever seen, and he's happy to be able to find out everything he did while in the time stream.

There's like fifteen minutes of peace.

"So, King Danny, what does this mean about "going into collections" and "pardons"," Stephanie asked.

"Ah, well, technically, I could just take your spirit back, make you dead again. I've had to do that with a few. But mostly I'm just pardoning everyone as long as they're not like actively causing a shit ton of damage. It's not their fault the system was screwed up."

"So," Tim says slyly. "Can you collect the Joker? Cause Dick killed him that one time?"

"Dick did what?" Jason snapped.

"Can you do that?" Bruce asks, feeling rather giddy at the idea. He has morals, but he also has feelings.

"Yeah, he's already on my list," Danny says. "I haven't done too much in Gotham yet. There's lots of others."

"What about Grandfather?" Those are the first words Damian's said in a half hour. His eyes are red and he looks rather wrecked.

"Yeah, I don't want to deal with him," Danny said. "Old asshole's body will give out eventually. I'm honestly hoping hell will take him so I don't have to deal with it."

"Does Ra's need to fill out the paperwork?" Tim asks, looking weirdly gleeful.

"Yeah. And I'm supposed- oh!" Danny suddenly smirks. "Oh, Damian, I know how you can make up the whole attempted fratricide thing. You go get grandfather to fill out his paperwork and we'll call it even."

"Is that all?" Damian asks. "I would do more."

"Not gonna lie, I've already got a sister and friends and wacky parents and a whole life. You're like not important at all... and I kinda already fucked up. So don't make me see grandfather and we're even."

"I'll handle it," Damian says seriously.

"Great. Also, after this, you stay far, far away from him. His body's giving out." Danny produces the papers and floats over to hand him the papers.

"You said that before, about his body giving out," Tim says. "He's dying, right? There's only so many times the Lazarus Water can revive cells before they start to break down."

"Yep," Danny says. "And he's trying to get a new bosy. Honestly, the only reason he hasn't bodyswapped is because he's a sexist piece of shit. But that's what me and Damian were for."

Damian's face loses all color, and Bruce is certain he looks even more pale.

"He would kill you and take your bodies?" Bruce whispers.

"Yes. He's basically got the ritual figured out. Why do you think I had to die? Think Mother knows, too. That's why she sent me away and didn't tell anyone I survived."

"An probably why she sent Damian to Bruce too," Stephanie notes.

"Yeah, well, unfortunately, the ritual works best with blood relation. And since I'm the ghost king, it's like eternal power for him. I'm not giving him a chance to know I exist."

"Is it safe for Damian to go?" Dick asks.

"I can go instead," Tim said.

"Not fucking happening. Creepo clearly either wants to use you or force you to have his kids. You're staying right where we can keep eyes on you," Jasom snaps.

"Oh, ew. Yeah, you stay away. I can put a ghost on you a protection for a bit. I just don't need Grandfather to know ghosts are real."

"It will make more sense for me to go," Damian insists. "Especially if I can give him something he wants."

That just makes everything devolve into argument and further discussion until an hour's passed, they've all finished signing their respectibe paperwork and Constantine lets out a loud whistle.

"Danny, I think you need to take your new spooky extended family home to meet your old crazy family," Constantine says.

"Do I have to?" Danny whines.

"Yes. Just get it over with. The only things that'll happen is Jack's back breaking hugs and a lot of excited chatter, and possibly fudge distribution."

"Fine," Danny says. "Okay, everyone back to the speeder. I need to introduce you to my family. If they ask, Phantom asked me to help him review a pardon list and I found my living brother and it sort of spiraled from there."

"They know about the League of Assassins," Cass says. Danny jolts.

"Uh, yeah, I told them. That's part of why they've been so stressed about ghost hunting. They figured out Ectoplasm and Lazarus Water is the same stuff. They've got a lot of ecto-decto stuff because they're afraid Grandfather will either come for me or send someone after me."

"You told them abount the assassins but not being half dead?" Jasons asks with a raised brow.

Danny's rubbing his neck again. "Yeah, I told them about the League so fast, it would just be weird if I told them about the ghost thing now, especially because they've been obsessed with catching and studying my ghost form. They'll just feel bad, and I don't want that."

Bruce is reminded, once again, that his family is the worst at personal priorities.

G̴̩͍͆͆̈́e̵̹̣͆t̷̬̋ ̸̻̮̎̒ĭ̸̏̃n̵͙̋͐ ̸̛̳̃t̶̪̣̅ḣ̸̳̇͜è̵̠̲͖̔̑ ̶̢̹̖͗͐̀Wa̵̬̞͝ṫ̴̩̣̣e̶͉̲̯͂̏̎r̴̉

It was a simple mission. Damian was working with Father to confirm the existence of a Lazarus Pit below Gotham, as Ra's Al Ghul speculated. And they had found it, deep in the caves below Gotham. A Pit the size of an Olympic sized swimming pool, bubbling and steaming. He'd only looked away for a moment.

"Kin-slayer."

Standing waist deep in the water stood Damian's reflection. The hair might be white, and the eyes glowing with the waters, but it was his face. But not his face alone.

Danyal's ghost glared at him. "Get in the water."

Father threw a batarang at him, but the metal flew straight through his head like it was air. Danyal didn't even glance at him, his eyes fixed on Damian. "Get in the water," he ordered again. He stepped closer to the shore and the green water sloshed up the bank higher than it was before. "Or I'll raise the tide so high, all of Gotham will die. So get in the water."

Damian's heart jumped into throat. "Wait-"

"Get in the water."

Father shoved Damian behind him, as if it would protect him, as if he could stop Danyal. "Stop this, please-" If he could just explain-

Another step and the waters surged forward, nearly touching Father's boots. "I'll make whirlpools so profound, your entire family will drown," he promised.

"NO!" Not his brother, his kind brother-

"THEN GET IN THE WATER!" Danyal snarled, revealing monstrously sharp teeth and a black tongue from Damian's poison. "G̴̩͍͆͆̈́e̵̹̣͆t̷̬̋ ̸̻̮̎̒ĭ̸̟̰͙̏̃n̵͙̝̟̋͐ ̸̛̳̃t̶̪̣̅ḣ̸̳̇͜è̵̠̲͖̔̑ ̶̢̹̖͗͐̀w̵̜͍̤̌a̵̬̞͝ṫ̴̩̣̣e̶͉̲̯͂̏̎r̴̉͜!̷̡͔́̀̽" He lunged and Father pushed them back down the passage they'd come. "Don't mistake this for a bluff, brother. You've lived more than enough. Just get in the water." Damian swallowed, throat dry. Was this Danyal's revenge? Did he finally have to face what he had done?

"Robin, who is this?" Father snapped, trying to keep retreating down the cave. But Damian wouldn't let him; the waters, and Danyal with them, would only follow.

Danyal looked between them, scowling. "G̴̩͍͆͆̈́e̵̹̣͆t̷̬̋ ̸̻̮̎̒ĭ̸̟̰͙̏̃n̵͙̝̟̋͐ ̸̛̳̃t̶̪̣̅ḣ̸̳̇͜è̵̠̲͖̔̑ ̶̢̹̖͗͐̀w̵̜͍̤̌a̵̬̞͝ṫ̴̩̣̣e̶͉̲̯͂̏̎r̴̉͜!̷̡͔́̀̽" he snapped again. "I'll take your father and gouge out his eyes, unless you want to stop being a coward and choose to die. Now... get in the water."

[crusherthedoctor]

Can we have some unpopular Sonic opinions?

I tried to cram in a lot, so I hope this satisfies you. :P I tried to stick to the ones that I haven't brought up quite as often, since by this point, we all know that I think IDW's storytelling is dire, SA2's story is overrated, X Eggman is an embarrassing portrayal (at least from season 2 onwards), Blaze shouldn't be handcuffed to Silver, Shadow's backstory had issues with or without the Black Arms, Neo Metal Sonic looks silly, etc. But anyway, here we go:

- Knuckles may be tricky to incorporate into plots that don't relate to Angel Island, but making him obsessed with his duties is no better than having him forget about Angel Island entirely.

- I like Marine, and never found her annoying. Oh, I understood what they were trying to do with her, but I honestly wasn't put off by her, and found her Aussie lingo more endearing if anything. Since her debut was during the period in my life where where I couldn't stand Sonic himself, I instead thought he was irritating (and hypocritical) for getting annoyed with her for doing shit he would often be guilty of.

- Silver is just as guilty of being shoehorned into games and plots as the Deadly Six are. Having more fans than the latter is irrelevant, since we're still talking about a character who constantly has to time travel in order to be present.

- Speaking of Silver, if he has to stick around, please do something different with him. They've pulled the doomed future routine multiple times now, and it's been boring every single time. I wasn't interested when it involved Iblis. I wasn't interested when it involved Knuckles drinking the edgy Kool Aid. I wasn't interested when it involved a council of dumbasses... give it a rest already.

- The Tails Doll can work as a mildly creepy thing, with maybe more to it than meets the eye when it's time for a boss fight or what have you. But the memes about him stealing your soul are just dumb, and I thought it was dumb even back in my teenage youth.

- “Eggman is supposed to be clownish!” Yeah, well he's also meant to be a genuine villain with a 300 IQ. These qualities don't have to be mutually exclusive.

- “Sonic is supposed to have attitude!” Yeah, well that's not the same thing as being an absolute cunt. Sonic was only ever meant to come off as having an edge compared to Mario. He was never meant to be a GTA-tier protagonist.

- Rouge is not a villain, and never was a villain. Literally the whole point of her role in SA2 was to reveal that she was working against Eggman and Shadow the whole time, albeit using sneakier tactics to do so. You'd think all those people who exult SA2's story would remember this, but apparently not. She barely even qualifies as an anti-hero, since aside from stealing the Master Emerald, she rarely does anything morally questionable otherwise. She's got a lot more good in her than people give her credit for.

- Captain Whisker is a better Eggman Nega than the actual Eggman Nega. And as far as robot characters in this franchise go, Johnny's design is pretty underrated.

- I don't like Iblis or Mephiles, but I DO like Solaris, and it annoys me that it was out of focus for most of the story due to all the time spent on its less interesting halves. Had they kept the backstory with the Duke and his experiments, and worked from there, I think they could have provided an interesting contrast with Chaos (since Solaris can also qualify as a monster with a sympathetic backstory) instead of recycling the surface level schtick.

- Black Doom may technically be just as bad as Mephiles, Nega, Scourge, Mimic, etc, since he's yet another villain with one-note characterization and fucked over Eggman. But because he never gained a disproportionate fandom, he doesn't annoy me to the same extent. It's easier to ignore him by comparison, and his Dr. Claw voice and face shaped like a lady's delicate part make him enjoyable to mock.

- Likewise, while Lyric is also on the same level as these other villains, it's easier to dismiss him because I was never invested in the Boom games anyway, and being an obvious alternate universe (compared to Sonic X or IDW, which retain the Modern designs and plot elements), it never had an effect on the main series. I also unironically like his design, and if nothing else, at least this snake didn't start a hypnotism fetish across the internet.

- Sally - and the rest of the Freedom Fighters for that matter - have had their importance in the franchise severely inflated. They may have been lucky to be the face of popular media (SatAM and Archie), but they're not these magnificent entities that the game characters are but a speck of dust in comparison to. Having a “legacy” doesn't make them more entitled to shit than any other character, old or new.

- Conceptually, the treasure hunting gameplay is one of the better alternate gameplay styles IMO. But it was let down in SA2 by its one track minded radar (the levels may have been big, but I don't think that would have been an issue on its own if the radar was better). If they brought it back and made it more like SA1's treasure hunting, I'd be all for it, although it would probably be better suited for a spinoff title.

- This goes for a lot of games, but when it comes to 2D, I prefer sprites over models. Not that the Rush models are bad (though the ones in Chronicles sure as fuck are), but the sprites in Mania and the Advance trilogy are just so charming and full of character.

- I actually like Marble Zone. Yeah, the level design is a bit blocky, but I love the concept of an underground temple prison, mixed with lava elements in a zone that otherwise isn't a traditional volcano level.

- I also like Sandopolis Zone. Again, completely understand why it's not the most popular zone around, but I've been a sucker for the Ancient Egyptian aesthetic since childhood (you can thank Crash 3 for that), and Act 1 is visually stunning.

- I prefer the JP soundtrack for Sonic CD over the US version overall... but I also prefer Sonic Boom over You Can Do Anything.

- SA2's soundtrack isn't bad by any means - I love Rouge's tracks, and The Last Scene is one of my favourite pieces of music - but as far as variety goes, it's a step down from SA1's soundtrack.

- If Sonic X-Treme had been released, it probably would have been unenjoyable and confusing. Whatever your thoughts on SA1, it was probably the better option between the two as far as Sonic's first legitimate translation into 3D goes.

- I have no qualms with Modern Sonic and the other Modern designs and characters, but I also fully acknowledge that changing gears from Adventure onwards - and doing it with a great amount of fanfare - was always going to create one of the biggest divides in the fandom, and fans shouldn't act surprised that this happened. The fact that they felt the need to hype up a new design and direction in the first place (compared to Mario, who has mostly been the same since the beginning, with only the occasional minor change with little fanfare) also indicates that they weren't confident enough in Sonic and his universe being the way it was, which often gets ignored by all the “SEGA have no confidence!!!” complaints you see with their recent games.

- Unleashed did not deserve the incredibly harsh reviews it received back in the day... but it doesn't deserve its current sacred cow status either. It had more effort put into it than '06 to be sure, and I can respect that, but much of it was misguided effort, and even if you like the Werehog, you have to admit that the idea came at the absolute worst time. The intro cutscene may be awesome, as is the Egg Dragoon fight, but 2% doesn't make up the entire game. Chip was also quite annoying, and I wasn't particularly sad when he pressed F in the chat at the end.

- On the other hand, while Colours definitely has its shortcomings, and people have every right to criticse those shortcomings, a lot of its most vocal detractors tend to have a stick up their arse about the game because people actually enjoyed it, and it had a gimmick that people actually liked. Yes, it may have been the first game to have those writers everyone hates, but then SA1 was the first game to give the characters alternate gameplay styles and have other villains upstage Eggman, so...

- Forces is absolutely not on the level of '06. It's nowhere close. A game being flawed does not make it the next '06, clickbait YouTubers. Or should I say, the game they want to retroactively apply '06's reception to, since they've been trying hard to magically retcon '06's own quality...

- To echo @beevean, ALL of the 3D stories have their issues. SA1 is probably the most well-rounded of them on the whole, but even that one isn't perfect.

- To echo another opinion, although I do love SA1, I'm not crazy over the idea of a remake, and would prefer them to just take Sonic's gameplay from SA1 and work from there. Because with a remake, you're stuck in a hard spot: Do you keep it the way it is bar the expected graphical upgrades, and risk accusations of not doing anything to actually improve the experience? Or do you try to address past criticisms, and risk the wrath of the fans who will inevitably go on a #NotMyAdventure crusade about it? What people fail to consider is that the Crash and Spyro remakes were accepted gracefully because their original iterations were still unanimously beloved for the most part, whereas SA1 - and especially SA2 - have always been divisive, and have only gotten moreso over the years.

- People take their preferences for the character's voice actors too seriously. I have my own favourites like anyone else, but I don't make a big deal out of it.

- And with fandom voice actors, they usually focus too much on doing a basic impression of their preferred official voice actor, and not enough on the acting. So you end up getting a lot of fan voices who sound like decent impressions of Ryan Drummond or Jason Griffith on the surface, but they sound utterly empty beyond that impression, because there's no oomph or depth to the actual emotions. They think about the actor rather than the character, when it should really be the other way around.

- The thing with Ian Flynn is that he is capable of telling a decent story, and he can portray some characters well. But he's proven time and time again that everything will go off the rails if he's given too much freedom (ironic, given how quick he is to point the finger at mandates when something goes wrong).

- Ian Flynn and Shiro Maekawa are not the only people in the world who are allowed to write for Sonic. I understand that one should be cautious when seeking out new writing talent, but for all the fandom's accusations of playing it safe, they sure aren't in a rush to experiment outside of their own comfort zone.

- And of course, the big one: You don't fix the franchise's current problems by crawling back to its previous problems. It's much more helpful and constructive to discuss the good and bad alike with each of the games. Less “THIS GOOD, MODERN BAD”, and more “This could work, but maybe without that part...”

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2015

This is the last list that was kind of difficult to do and where some cuts had to be made. The next four ones weren’t very good years music-wise and generally speaking.

Also there’s something that embarrasses me even more than Blue (Eiffel 65) somewhere on this top ten. Oops.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

2015 was a bit calmer, apart from the fact I moved out of the appartment and bought one instead of renting one. This is still where I’m living nowadays, it’s not big but having no landlord is a LOT less stressful even if it will take a long time to pay the loan (one time the lock broke and I couldn’t get out and the landlord refused to fix it OR pay for a new lock if I decided to call someone to fix it ; another time someone who had a spare key opened the door while I was wearing a bathrobe and was like “oh. You’re here” and I was like “...I mean..... yeah.... 'cause I live here”). I also made new friends online that year and felt less isolated.

Sidenote, my first “flat” mp3 player’s battery died today but after a quick emergency operation I was able to save the data on it. I used that mp3 player from roughly 2008 to 2013 so that’s a relief, it kinda has sentimental value and I was still using it to listen to DW audios nowadays from time to time.

As you can see in the first picture, my super old portable cd player, which still works fine, by the way, is judging this little amateur so hard right now.

So! This is the year Faithless dropped Faithless 2.0, 21 Pilots dropped Blurryface, Mylène Farmer dropped the surprisingly quite good (for this point in her career) Interstellaires, and Carly Rae Jepsen dropped E MO TION, which would have been my favorite album of the year... if Nightwish hadn’t made the absolutely jawdropping Endless Forms Most Beautiful. A symphonic metal concept album about Earth and evolution and the place of humanity in the universe?? Excuse me? Who’s read my christmas list? My favorite songs on it are Alpenglow, Shudder Before The Beautiful, the title track, Edema Ruh which has the best intro, and of course The Greatest Show On Earth, which is an incredibly ambitious, kinda bloated and quite pretentious (in a good way) song about the history of Earth, looking back from a future where mankind is extinct and concluding “we were here”, and holy shit I get emotional every time, and it’s 24 minutes long, and I still never get bored when I relisten to it. Just amazing.

As far as unelligible songs that piss me off go, it’s all Carly Rae Jepsen: I Really Like You, and especially Run Away With Me. If they had been elligible, that last one would be my #1, definitely.

Here’s some... uh, a lot of honorable mentions, actually.

Budapest (George Ezra) and Chandelier (Sia) - Still elligible, still not on the list.

Cheerleader (OMI) - I have no idea why people dislike this song.

Ex’s and Oh’s (Elle King) - This is one of these songs that would be higher on the list if I had better taste. I still like it a lot though.

FourFiveSeconds (Rihanna, Kanye West, Paul McCartney) - Ditto.

You Know You Like It (DJ Snake) - Great drop. The rest is meh.

Miracle (Julian Perretta) - The opposite of the previous one ; a fantastic song let down by its drop.

Uma Thurman (Fall Out Boy) - This song makes absolutely no sense but it’s a lot of fun nonetheless.

Lean On (Major Lazer) - Super overplayed but holy shit this is incredibly catchy. The bridge is especially great.

Want to want me (Jason Derulo) - If this guy had that kind of song in him why does he suck most of the time. What happened.

Hundred Miles (Yazz) - Nice earworm that never got annoying.

Are you with me (Lost frequencies) - Basically a less good version of Waves from the previous year. This is a compliment.

Ain’t Nobody (Felix Jaehn) - And this is the less good version of Rather Be from the previous year. This is also a compliment.

Laissez Passer (Maître Gims) - When I started to check French hit songs from years where I basically wasn’t listening to the general local radio anymore, some friends told me they were grabbing popcorn and waiting for me to start hating some specific acts. Maître Gims was one of them. To their disappointment, I love just about every non-love, non-breakup hit song he’s ever made. Oops.

Love Me Harder (Ariana Grande & The Weeknd) - It took me ages to like The Weeknd but this song helped a lot. This just sounds fantastic regardless of the content (just saying this because I have a tendency to dislike stuff like that). He isn’t even the best singer of the two on this track, wow.

Millionnaire (Soprano) - In a worse year, this would make the list without question. The lyrics aren’t that original but still very good (love the line “remplis-moi les poches d’espoir” (fill my pockets with hope)) and the melody is just beautiful.

On écrit sur les murs (Kids United) - If you recall I put the original version of this on my 1990 list because I liked the Kids United version a lot and also had nothing else to put at the 10th spot on the 1990 list. The fact that I don’t even have enough space for the better version on this list says a lot about how abysmal 1990 was, music-wise.

And now, the actual list!

10 - Centuries (Fall Out Boy)

US: #43 / FR: Not on the list

Why are these guys still on my lists.

No, seriously. Why. This is yet another song that would be better if it was faster. And the sample is badly used. So I have no idea why it works. One of these days I’ll have to reevaluate Fall Out Boy’s entire discography, take a good look at myself, and admit I possibly like this band and that I’ve been lying to myself for like 15 years... but today is not that day.

9 - Sapés Comme Jamais (Maître Gims)

US: Not on the list / FR: #10

Told you I liked Maître Gims!

Listen. It’s not my place to comment on the ethics of the whole La Sape movement (which can be summarised as “modern black dandies trying to get the most expensive & beautiful clothes possible”) but you have to admit it’s super cool to have a more energetic and fun version of Suit And Tie. God, that beat. And it’s a ton of fun to sing along with the chorus! And it’s such a convincing song when it’s combined with the music video, you kinda want to look as cool and confident as these guys.

Also quick shoutout to the Sapeuses. Absolute legends & queens, every last one of them.

8 - Style (Taylor Swift)

US: #29 / FR: Not on the list

That year my s.o went to a party I didn’t want to go to and came back home completely drunk & way too late, crashed on the couch and started to ramble about how “Style” by Taylor Swift had a better sound mixing than the entirety of Epica’s latest album at the time and how amazing it was. For like half an hour.

I completely agree, just to clarify.

7 - Cool For The Summer (Demi Lovato)

US: #53 / FR: Not on the list

In what is possibly the least controversial opinion on this entire list: I love Cool For The Summer, the melody is great, the lyrics are good, the singing is the best, and you all know that and you all love this song, so yeah. Moving on to-

Oh god here comes #6. Oh shit. Oh no.

Can’t we just skip it and pretend-

6 - Animals (Maroon 5)

US: #46 / FR: Not on the list

So. I.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuh.

How can I justify this bullshit.

The truth is: I can’t. Not really. I’m not even entirely sure what happened here. I hate this band and have always hated them, from the start. The lyrics are painfully stupid. The singing is as atrocious as ever. The “AWOOOOO” bit on the bridge is absolutely ridiculous. None of Levine’s “oh look at me I’m so dangerous” act remotely works. There isn’t a single thing I find competent here apart from the melody. I mean it. I’m not saying any of this to look cool. If I wanted to look cool, this certainly wouldn’t be on the list.

But you know what, the sheer incompetence on display here may be exactly why I like it. If it was a credible serial killer song written like an upbeat pop song, it would be disturbing and unlistenable. But the way it’s made, it simply sounds stupid, so you keep imagining some sort of inoffensive nerd pretending he’s a horrible monster (and failing) whenever you hear it. And that, I think, is what pushes it squarely into the “so bad it’s f█cking fantastic” territory, where it joins Butterfly from my 2001 list.

That sounds about right.

5 - Adventure of a Lifetime (Coldplay)

US: Not on the list / FR: #29

I haven’t mentioned A Head Full of Dreams in that year’s albums, because it came out at the very end of 2015 so I mostly consider it to be a 2016 album. It’s not as good as Mylo Xyloto, and not as consistant as Ghost Stories, but it contains some real gems. Adventure of a Lifetime isn’t nearly my favorite song on it, and I still put it super high here. I love the lyrics in particular (”under this pressure, under this weight, we are diamonds taking shape” oh damn) but the song itself just makes you want to move. I literally can’t listen to it without at least moving my head in rhythm a little bit. It’s nearly as colorful as the album cover. And it’s a joy to sing along the “woooohooooo”s!

4 - Stolen Car (Mylène Farmer & Sting)

US: Not on the list / FR: #61

This is Stolen Car (Take Me Dancing), from Sting (2004), rewritten as a half English half French duet where it’s unclear if the female singer is the imaginary lover or the car in the story. You might want to re-read that sentence.

What did I say on a previous list? Ah yes, “I see a duet between two singers I like and I die instantly”. This is also the last time Mylène Farmer is going to appear on one of my lists. I could say “self care”, but I genuinely don’t like any of her more recent hits, at all. Whatever. She’s been on these lists since the very first one (1988) anyway.

It’s been a wild ride, to say the least.

3 - Shut Up And Dance (Walk the Moon)

US: #6 / FR: Not on the list

And for the second least controversial opinion on this list: despite the massive overplay, I never EVER got tired of this, it’s colorful, energetic, super fun, and it’s still on my mp3 player to this day. Just a fantastic song. And a great band! I wish One Foot had been elligible for a future list, it’s super good. Aw.

2 - Ego (Willy Williams)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69

This is a song about a guy who imagines himself as this super cool elegant dude, but when he looks at himself in the mirror he hates everything he’s seeing.

I know this isn’t supposed to be a song about gender dysphoria but my god is this shit relatable.

To make things even better, it’s served by creepy music box sounds ala The Birthday Massacre and by an untouchable, strange beat. It’s a dark, weird song, but it’s all kinds of wonderful and catchy as hell, and apparently I’m not the only one to think that considering the mindboggling number of views on the youtube music video. Watch it if you haven’t seen it, it’s hypnotic and makes the song even better.

I only discovered this song last year but I’ve listened to it so much since then I really debated if this should be at the #1 spot. It’s just... so horribly relatable.

But you know what’s even more relatable?

Being broke and sad and still trying to have the time of your life.

1 - Downtown (Macklemore & Ryan Lewis)

US: #84 / FR: Not on the list

Some people call this Thriftshop 2.0 but I think it’s even better than Thriftshop, which was, if you recall one of my previous lists, already pretty damn good in my opinion.

As you probably already know, it’s a song about a guy buying a moped and bragging about him and his friends, and their mopeds, and how cool they look when they ride downtown on their mopeds. I never owned a moped in my life. But I have a super small & shitty car which I love very much and so it’s very relatable. Also I’ve never written the word ‘moped’ so often in a single paragraph before in my life.

I love every single person who sings on this track. I love the music video. I’ve been trying to match the flow of the second verse ever since it came out and I still can’t do it with my shitty accent. It’s full of weird and corny lines, but that’s also why I love it so much. The dialogue at the beginning! “Dope, my crew is ill, and all we need is two good wheels”! “Head into the dealership and drop a stack and cop a Kawasaki, I'm stunting on everybody, hella raw, pass the wasabi”! “My seat is leather, alright, I'm lying, it's pleather / But girl, we could still ride together / You don't need an Uber, you don't need a cab / F█ck a bus pass, you got a moped man”!! “Cut the bullshit / Get off my mullet / Stone washed, so raw / Moped like a bullet - NYAOOOOOO”!! “Running around the whole town / Neighbors yelling at me like, "You need to slow down." / Going thirty-eight, Dan, chill the f█ck out / Mow your damn lawn and sit the hell down”!!! Oh shit, I basically quoted one third of the song. I just. Ugh. I love it so much, okay?

Cringe culture is dead and we peed on its grave. We spend enough time in our lives feeling miserable. Like what you like. Even if it’s super ridiculous. No: especially if it’s super ridiculous. Live a little, damn it.

Next up: The Year Everything Went Wrong Except Pop Music

[davidmann95]

I haven't been able to tolerate a comics news site since ComicsAlliance shut down so what news out of SDCC is actually worth knowing about?

I’ve gotten so many questions regarding SDCC-related news that I figured I’d just do one big post, and this seems as opportune an ask to build that off of as any. To kick off, in terms of news that’s not for me but is a big deal, there’s a trailer for the next season of Doctor Who, and Star Wars: Clone Wars is shockingly coming back for a final reduced season years after the fact. Congrats to the fans of both franchises! Plus yesterday we got the announcement of Orlando and Foreman’s Electric Warriors for DC (as well as Orlando’s Dead Kings with Matt Smith at Aftershock Comics) and the Wonder Woman/Justice League Dark October crossover.

So first and foremost in terms of the reaction it picked up, OH MY GOD:

It’s like the Bat In The Sun team handed over their production to their shitty kids but made them work off a third of the budget. I kept seeing the jokes about it on Twitter, and I kept thinking they were surely hilarious exaggerations, AND NOT A ONE OF THEM EVEN SLIGHTLY WAS. At least it now makes sense why Hawk and Dove is here, given the Liefeld connection: this is 90s as helllllllllllllllllllllll, and while a part of me hopes it swerves unexpectedly in a couple seasons into Fun 90s DC with Starman and Wally West and an Electric Blue Superboy and Titans One Million, I can’t pretend I wouldn’t gleefully hatewatch this if it wasn’t behind a paywall. What it really comes down to is that, as I saw someone mention, the over-the-top content warning at the beginning isn’t actually by any means to get rid of anyone under 18, but specifically to appeal to them over anyone over it: there is nothing about this show not precision-crafted to appeal to teenagers watching something they technically aren’t supposed to, since anyone older than that will just laugh until the stars grow cold. And while it’s one line in particular that’s rightfully drawn all the attention, to me the clear defining moment is Beast Boy taking his big goofy dramatic leap, and you expect him to transform, but that ain’t happening (I fully expect he’ll just have claws and growl and do assorted Wolverine shit instead), because that kind of thing is for STUPID KIDS, whereas this is RAD. 

RAD, dare I say…to the EXTREME.

Also, the pilot Robin’s scene was presumably drawn from was written by Akiva Goldsman, Greg Berlanti, and Geoff Johns. So was it the guy behind Batman & Robin, the guy behind the CWverse, or the recent President of DC Comics who ushered FUCK BATMAN into the world? Because all three of those possibilities are equally hilarious. In any case, the rubicon has been crossed: easily one of the top ten, probably one of the five or so most iconic superheroes of all time said fuck in a piece of mass media. Where we go from here, nobody knows. But at the very least I’ll take the L for my original certainty that this would take place in the CW DCverse, because that clearly isn’t going to be the case. Though boy, imagine if it was. Personally I like to imagine this is a totally normal DCU, and suddenly going full 90s and murdering a bunch of people is their universe’s version of normal teen rebellion.

Additionally, it’s now seemingly set in stone that the fourth DC Universe live-action show alongside Titans, Doom Patrol, and Swamp Thing will be a Stargirl show where Courtney Whitmore learns about her legacy and tries to track down the Justice Society, described as in the flavor of Superman ‘78 and Wonder Woman. Again, if it wasn’t behind a paywall I’d check it out.

And before turning to comics proper, we learned from WB itself that there are no plans to idiotically pour millions into making a functional Justice League Snyder cut a thing, unsurprisingly making some of the worst people on the internet be just the absolute worst (I’m interested myself in it artistically even if I don’t think it would be very good, but at this point it would feel like a validation of some really rotten people’s behavior if this happened). Meanwhile the first trailer for the Dragon Ball Super movie dropped, and yeah, I’m still happy to see Broly. This looks big in a way Dragon Ball for all its action rarely gets, and seeing Paragus suggests Toriyama understood what worked about the original flick, which is a very good sign. Did they swap out Vic Mignogna as Broly though? Wouldn’t blame him, I know he’s said he hates the part, but surprising nonetheless. And the Spider-Man game dropped another trailer, along with a ‘Velocity’ bonus suit designed by Adi Granov.

The big comics news of the day was of course the long-awaited confirmation that Green Lantern is being relaunched - apparently as The Green Lantern - in November by Grant Morrison and Liam Sharp. What’s surprising is that Morrison’s currently insisting that since the last decade or so of the franchise has dealt with constant upheaval and cosmic apocalypse, his run is going to scale back down to a character-focused study of Hal (“He’s a loner and a drifter and he’s an unreconstructed man. It was nice to do that and to go a little bit old-fashioned with it. He doesn’t belong here at all, you know? He’s longing for the heavens, and to be back up as a Green Lantern. We’re doing Hal Jordan where, you know he’s a good cop, but is he really a good guy? And we’re looking into his relationships and how he deals with people. And also the fact that, if you’ve got a job as a space cop, it’s hard to be stuck on the planet Earth. He has other lives on other planets.”) amidst him going about his duties and dealing with weird alien crimes and space threats, such as stopping aliens from ‘parking’ a planet-sized artificial megastructure near a sun and causing damage to nearby worlds, and solving the murder of a gaseous lifeform.

I doubt it’ll necessarily stay there forever - his Batman and Action Comics runs, after all, were both initially marketed as staying on the smaller side by his standards, and the one idea we know of Morrison having once had for the Green Lanterns back in the day was making them a multiversal force. But it’s remarkable how, well, normal this sounds coming from Morrison. Clearly this must be a passion project if he’s doing a monthly again for the first time in 5 years, especially since DiDio mentioned he had to be persuaded (ultimately persuading himself as his attempts to brush off the proposition led to him thinking about the possibilities and rapidly talking himself into it) to make time for this amidst an incredibly busy schedule of surely more profitable and creatively unshackled projects, but on the surface level? This sounds like the closest Morrison has come since his JLA days to writing a regular superhero comic. At this point in his career, I’m very, very curious what that’s going to look like. Just hoping he read the King/Shaner oneshot on whatever reread he surely went through to catch up on current continuity. And also hoping this guy was right that it’ll turn out “the REAL construct that was limited by our willpower and imagination all along was…REALITY.”

On smaller notes:

* Kelly Sue DeConnick and Robson Rocha are taking over Aquaman, with an opening arc that shows him washing up amnesiac on an isle of forgotten sea gods. DeConnick seems to be like the Jeffs Lemire and Parker where my appreciation of their work is limited to very, very specific slivers: none of her Marvel superhero stuff I’ve read did anything for me even if I could see the talent behind it, but her Lois story in the last issue of The Adventures of Superman was pitch-perfect (and also had a great Aquaman bit!). This gets at least an issue from me.

* DC announced new titles for DC Ink and DC Zoom, including Cassandra Cain, Oracle, Dick Grayson, Creeper, and Wonder Woman books, while also announcing some artists for the existing titles.

* Geoff Johns is doing (ugh) Shazam with Dave Eaglesham, who showed off a really great, fun cover suggesting the possibility of a tonal shift away from Johns writing the absolute worst version of that character imaginable. On the likelihood of said possibility though, I think @intergalactic-zoo put it best. I might just check it out in trade if word of mouth is overwhelmingly positive, but then, lots of otherwise rational people liked or at least saw merit in his original crack at it with Gary Frank, and you were all deliriously, impossibly wrong back then, too.

* And finally, speaking of Johns, he’s doing Batman: Three Jokers as a 3-issue mini with Jason Fabok, a smart move given that is precisely as much as I’m willing to invest in this out of morbid curiosity. What’s really baffling though is that it’s being released under Black Label. It would seem to destroy the stated purpose of the line by immediately releasing Very Important Continuity Comics under it, but maybe this means Batman’s gonna follow in his protege’s footsteps and say a fuck. Anyway, I’m mostly just hoping it isn’t revealed Fun Golden Age Joker is actually not the original in order to rub out the prospect that he was ever truly anything but a terrifying sidekick-butchering murder machine at the center of very serious stories, because that feels to be like a real possibility. And absolute no question one of the three is gonna turn out to be the lost child of Marionette and Mime in Doomsday Clock.

[everysuperherofighting]

The Best Music of 2018

2018 was a strange year for me. It should go without saying that the politics were grim, as the United States continued to embrace gestapo-esque tactics and concentration camps as a way of dealing with the “immigration crisis” (a lot of this happened under Obama too of course). The planet continued to slide into a dystopia of global warming as more and more animals became endangered or went extinct all-together. The mid-terms happened, with typically mixed results. Elon Musk called someone a pedophile on twitter for some reason.

On a personal level, in 2018 I moved to Ohio from Oregon (again). My band put out an EP. And I lost my father, something that I still grapple with on a daily basis, though it gets less present over time.

I’ve become interested in how I discover new music, as I’ve gotten older and can’t really consider myself to be fully plugged into any sort of youth culture, sub or otherwise. Finding new music has become a very intentional process; if I didn’t seek it out deliberately, I probably wouldn’t end up hearing much of anything. But that’s always kind of true for arty-weirdos like me.

For better or worse I discovered a lot of music the last two years through Youtube. As you probably know, if you play a song or an album on Youtube, there’s an autoplay feature that will automatically play something else when it’s done. I’ve found a lot of my favorite music lately this way, and in some ways it’s kind of filled the role that “cool record store clerk” or “late-night college dj” might have filled in the times past. This is not necessarily a good change. I’ve heard you can find a lot of white supremacists that way too.

Youtube has also become invaluable if you’re someone who wants to make a list like this one, and can’t afford to spend hundreds of dollars on albums. I think sometimes the artists even get paid a minuscule amount for the clicks! Hooray free information! I hope we can all find decent jobs someday.

1) CAMP COPE - HOW TO SOCIALISE & MAKE FRIENDS

I debated with myself about whether to put Camp Cope at number one, as they’re not the most musically complex or adventurous of my favorite albums this year. However I can’t think of another band that felt like it lyrically captured the zeitgeist of the times in such a powerful way. The whole album is great, catchy and upbeat jangly indie/punk with tinges of early 90s midwestern emo, made by three woman from Melbourne, Australia. Singer Georgia McDonald has a great voice, imbued with urgency, and her accent is a lot of fun to listen to too. Her lyrics have that same emotional rawness and honest specificity that early emo has as well - on “The Omen” she sings about loving someone since they were 17 and wishes for rescue dogs and a house by the sea, while on “I’ve Got You,” she bounces from the death of her father to police shootings, the loss of her childhood home, and the grappling with mental illness, and it all feels thematically relevant as this great moment of exhaled catharsis.

The stand-outs for me, however, are “The Opener” and “The Face of God.” “The Opener” is a scorching indictment of the indie music scene, as McDonald calls-out all the garbage women in bands have to deal with, from accusations that they only succeed based on their gender, to men continually explaining things, to men showing up to lay down a big steamy pile of unrequited love BS. These aren’t new observations, but hearing them all laid out in a row like this highlights their invulnerability and their ubiquitousness, the daily microaggressions that lead up to a larger picture of persistent inequality. On “The Face of God,” McDonald narrativizes the Me Too movement from the perspective of an abused fan, musing “could it be true? You couldn’t do that to someone. Not you, nah your music is too good,” her tortured delivery capturing the rage, shame, disbelief, and sadness of all the Me Too revelations about artists that we liked, and who abused that power again and again and again and again and again and again and again an

2) IDLES - JOY AS AN ACT OF RESISTANCE

Image by Paul Hudson via Flickr

Idles was one of my favorite discoveries of last year. I was actually a little concerned with this album since I’d heard the band was “embracing positivity” , and what I loved about Brutalism was their raw, unhinged sound and clever but cynical and pissed-off lyrics. There’s also a recurring thing for me of finding a really cool raw sounding band, punk adjacent but not necessarily fully in the scene, who then get less “punk” (and to me, less interesting) with each subsequent release as they sort of turn into just another indie dude band who like Big Star or the Replacements. This band sounds raw as fuck, I’ll say, and then later they’ll put out their fucking mandolin album.

Joy as an Act of Resistance is dope though, as their music continues to embrace a raw, chaotic sound of guitars that both swirl and jab like shards of glass, pounding “Lust For Life” toms, and stripped down basslines, while frontman Joe Talbot howls sarcastic indictments of masculinity, homophobia, and racism. In a similar way to last year’s Pissed Jeans album, they tackle ugly toxic masculinity with ugly, tough sounding music, hearkening back to a punk rock that was less rigid in sound. There’s this infectious positivity that runs through the whole thing however, a joy that comes from casting off the fixed roles that the patriarchal society tries to put upon us and embracing our (ironically) gentler natures. “I wanna be your best ever friend forever” Talbot says, sincerely on “Love Song.” “Let’s hug it out,” he repeats on “Never Fight a Man With A Perm,” and though the song is making fun of a coked out bruiser, I have a feeling it’s a sentiment he would share.

3) THE ARMED - ONLY LOVE

The synthesis of hardcore punk with electronic music is something I’ve been anticipating. There’s definitely been forebearers (Horse the Band comes to mind, though there’s probably other stuff in the underground), but this is the first time I’ve heard it done so well. The Armed sound like if you took one of the better mid-2000s screamy hardcore bands and mixed it with the noisiest and most frenetic parts of a chip-tune song. That may sound like a nightmare to a lot of you, but again, it’s done so well here that it just sounds like a noisy chaotic mess in the best and most elegant possible way. This is not to underplay the tightness of the song-craft at work here - the chaotic sound seems to me to be carefully orchestrated. Glitchy, brutal, climatic, and beautiful. (And the parts where the lady sings remind me of Blatz. The world could use more Blatz.)

4) SCREAMING FEMALES - ALL AT ONCE

Image by Jason Persse via Flickr

This band is kind of a mainstay on my year end list at this point, but I feel like they continually top their previous efforts, a rare quality for most bands. Incredible vocals, incredible song-writing, incredible guitar playing, as they reach ever greater levels of accessibility and hookiness, while still maintaining that slight edge that would put them forever as at home in a basement as a venue.

5) KALI UCHIS - ISOLATION

Kali Uchis lands at that sweet spot where pop, hip-hop, jazz, soul, and psychedelia intersect that’s occupied by similar weirdos like Janelle Monae, Miguel, and the Internet. It’s no wonder that one of the all-time prophets of future-looking pop, Boots Riley, shows up on one of the singles. There’s a real bossa-nova, latin jazz vibe on a lot of these tracks, and a kind of retro-sheen even as it pushes into the future. “It’s no fun to feel like a fool,” Kali Uchis croons while straight up wall of sound style saxophones blurp in the background. “Pussy is a hell of an addiction.”

6) THE INTERNET - HIVE MIND

Another year-end list staple for me, the Internet have been consistently putting out some of the best, solid-ass R+B since 2011. The whole thing is smooth as hell, but weird or tasteful in all the right places; the “hoo hoo” on “Humble Pie” or the building horns on “Mood.” And retaining just a hint of that old Odd Future off-kilterness around the edges. OG Dungeon Family poet “Big Rube” shows up on “It Gets Better (With Time).”

7) JEAN GRAE AND QUELLE CHRIS - EVERYTHING’S FINE

Quelle Chris is a new one for me, but I rocked Jean Grae when I first started getting into indie rap back in high school. I always wondered what happened to her since then, but apparently she’s been putting out a steady stream of mixtapes and underground releases pretty much the whole time, self releasing a lot of them through bandcamp. She’s a wicked lyricist, and her and Quelle Chris trade off bars of dense wordplay and biting commentary on the current age of “self-care” and neoliberal hellscapes over beats that are just weird enough. Much of their verses are delivered through a lens of ironic detachment, but it’s especially affecting when the irony cracks into real urgency or emotion, as in “Breakfast of Champions,” a reflection on the grueling, consistent presence of racism in America. “It’s bound to wreck your body or straight burn your body out” they muse, and then later, as if realizing the gravity of it all, “it’s like damn, shit, fuck, wow…”

Also Quelle Chris apparently taught himself to program 8-bit video games for one of the videos.

8) SELF DEFENSE FAMILY - HAVE YOU CONSIDERED PUNK MUSIC

Yeah dude, you know I like punk rock that don’t follow no rules. This is definitely more in the vein of Fugazi, or maybe even a slightly more jagged Wilco, than a NOFX or 7 Seconds, with nods to Americana and a vocal delivery that reminds me of a raspier Craig Finn. A central preoccupation of the album seems to be the delicate balance between art and maturity, made all the more so when you’re tied to a subculture that’s only “supposed” to last you through your early 20s. There’s some great lines throughout: “ “Explaining motherhood to a man, cold observation but he’s not capable of understanding; detailing math to a dog, won’t retain a word but if you’re lucky he may be a good boy and nod” and “The world’s not turning for you and the road never rises, you’re eking out a living like every other asshole” are highlights for me, but I think my favorite bit of cleverness is actually just the juxtaposition between the titles of tracks 6 and 7. “Have You Considered Punk Music?” asks one. The other: “Have You Considered Anything Else?”

9) SINGLE MOTHERS - THROUGH A WALL

Image by CRUSTINA! via Flickr

And here we have a release that’s a little more meat and potatoes, with steam-rolling drum beats, distortion, and yelled vocals about the desperation to be found in modern life’s mudanities, “dog parks and IPA.” This album’s just some fucking ferocious non-screamy hardcore, with that same relentless quality that the best hardcore albums have. “Catch and Release” even has some double kick on it. Interestingly, I find some of the core anxieties the same as in the album above however: “Better people than you or I have lost that spark for life,” Andrew Thomson bellows on 24/7, a Cassandra portending the potential pitfalls of age.

10) HOP ALONG - BARK YOUR HEAD OFF, DOG

Singer Francis Quinlan has an incredible voice, powerful and worldly, and she paints quick snapshots of narrative with her lyrics like a Lydia Davis story. The music has shades of mid-western emo, with some kind of funky, almost Jackson 5 style guitar lines. This one is definitely a step up in terms of instrumentation from their earlier records, with strings, acoustic guitars, and other orchestral touches. The title refers specifically to a dying dog from one of the tracks, though it also seems to apply to all the characters briefly given voice throughout the album.

11) CINDER WELL - THE UNCONSCIOUS ECHO

Beautiful, haunting folk from Amelia Baker of Blackbird Raum (and a few other fellows mostly from the folk punk/bluegrass scene). A little more straight folk than Blackbird Raum’s high energy mix of folk, metal, and hardcore. Stripped down and evocative, with one foot firmly in an irish folk tradition. Like Blackbird Raum, there is a foreboding quality to much of the music, like a warning of dark things to come.

12) NONAME - ROOM 25

A micro-trend I noticed in hip-hop this year was short albums, notable from a tradition that often includes massive releases and mixtapes stuffed with skits and interludes. This is the first of example of this on my list, clocking in at a respectable 34:48. Noname is a great rapper with an intricate flow, technical without being too dense for a more casual listener, keeping her ideas and narratives clear and present over funky neo soul beats. At times she can be extremely candid, rapping about her sexual escapades, emotions, and insecurities. In one of my favorite moments, the track titled “No Name,” she discusses the spirituality behind her stage name: “When we walk into heaven, nobody’s name gon’ exist; just boundless movement for joy, nakedness radiance.” She’s funny too though. “I’m just writing my darkest secrets like wait and just hear me out; saying vegan food is delicious like wait and just hear me out.”

13) JEFF ROSENSTOCK - POST

More noisy power pop from former Bomb the Music Industry frontman Jeff Rosenstock (though I suppose by this point his solo career is at least as significant; Bomb albums never made it to Pitchfork). I think this one’s a little less varied than “Worry” before it, and a little rawer around the edges. The title is seemingly referring to the time post-2016 election, though it seems to often be more interested in profiling the anxious mood than making specific political points (which you probably all know anyway). I can’t think of another song writer off the top of my head that more consistently exemplifies the anxieties of the millennial generation, whether it’s the mid-20s woes of joblessness and friend loss often detailed in Bomb the Music Industry, or this current outing. On “Yr Throat,” he talks about the ease he has talking about relatively frivolous matter like video games and vinyl records, verses more important matters. One of my favorite lines in the song is a little more direct however, commenting on you-know-who: “It’s not like any other job I know; if you’re a piece of shit they don’t let you go.”

14) DEATH GRIPS - YEAR OF THE SNITCH

Image by Montecruz Foto via Flickr

Supposedly the album title has something to do with Charles Manson, at least according to their very vocal and sometimes uncomfortably affiliated online fanbase. It’s pretty rare that I can fully decipher what a song is about, other than generally surreal lyrics that hint toward a dirty and unsettling underground, whether urban, suburban, or solely online. Death Grips, if you don’t know, make experimental and abstract hip-hop, featuring dark and somewhat unconventional beats, with a live drummer, seeming to draw as much from the tradition of noise music than from rap. For as weird as all this is, however, there’s usually a pretty solid song structure underlying each track, and they create some sticky hooks out of all the electronic chaos and bellowed raps. This time around there seems to be a bit of a shoegaze influence as well, which…. doesn’t quite fit their aesthetic? But is pretty interesting all the same.

15) RAVYN LENAE - CRUSH

Steve Lacy from the Internet (the band) produced this 5 track long EP of retro/future funk and R+B. “Sticky” is as catch a song as ever there was, and Ravyn Lenae does a great job kind of floating over the beat, mixing up her delivery. These artists nod a lot to 70s R+B and funk, and I love that they preserve the strangeness of a lot of that stuff, that otherwordly vibe, whether it’s the “oooo-HOO-hoo-hoo” on “Sticky” or the blunted synth stabs on “4 Leaf Clover.”

16) HINDS - I DON’T RUN

Image by Paul Hudson via Flickr

Indie rock from Madrid with several lady vocalists that’s just a tad sloppy, in a good way. Catchy and relationship oriented, but scratching at something deeper beyond the surface. I love the way the vocal mics all seem to distort slightly. Maybe I’m just an old now, but it makes me nostalgic for college in some way, smoking cigarettes and being heartbroken. Which was probably not actually as fun as I remember it.

17) JPEGMAFIA - VETERAN

Hard as hell raps over jittery noise beats that sometimes merge into moments of dreamlike beauty from a hip-hop auteur who handles all the production himself. This kind of reminds me of when Pitchfork called Odd Future “/b/ boys” (referring to 4chan). This is the new Extremely Online hip-hop, endlessly irony poisoned, vaguely left-wing but mostly cynical, inside jokes upon inside jokes. It seems like there’s some real anger in here too, and his raps often involve promises of violence, usually upon various members of the alt right: “Look, it’s the young alt-right menace; What’s the pistol to a pennant?”

18) MILO - BUDDING ORNITHOLOGISTS ARE WEARY OF TIRED ANALOGIES

Milo reminds me of the best of the older backpacker rappers, dropping classic lines so fast that you miss about 2/3rds of them the first couple times through. Equally at home dropping a reference to a video game, a philosopher, the harshness of race in America, and the Guggenheim fellowship, like one of those memes that eradicates the distinction between high and low culture by putting references to existentialist philosophers over a picture of Spongebob. Of course, hip-hop has always been doing that, hasn’t it?

19) EARL SWEATSHIRT - SOME RAP SONGS

Image by Anna Hanks via Flickr

Another notably short album, at a brisk 24:39. The songs are short too, often coming across as sketches, though really this is the kind of project made to listen to in one sitting. Like a lot of the rap albums on here, this is a project that takes the beats as well as the rhymes seriously, pushing forward into avant garde territory, but in a mellower way than JPEGMAFIA or Death Grips. They have an almost hypnotic quality to them, as Earl raps in his slightly aloof manner, though here the aloofness feels more like a mask only thinly hiding a deep sense of melancholy. The samples on here are thick with that old record hiss - even the vocals are hissy, like a transmission from someplace far away.

20) SUDAN ARCHIVES - SINK

Sudan Archives is a violinist from Cincinnati who makes pop music that sounds like nothing else out there, though it takes cues from hip-hop, R+B, electronica, and world music. The beats are stripped down but still lush sounding, the violin often leading in a way that sounds strange and otherwordly, utilized for it’s ability to create rhythmic hooks, while her lyrics meld the personal with the empowering with the political.

21) TEYANA TAYLOR - K.T.S.E.

Kanye West produced 5 different 7 to 8 track albums this year, with mixed results. A lot of people stan Pusha T’s Daytona, but this one was my favorite, a short and sweet album that’s mellow, romantic, and a little dirty. Teyana Taylor puts in a very versatile performance, and her voice is perfectly suited to ride over the old soul samples that make up the bulk of the production. Kanye’s musical output was of course overshadowed by his various bizarre political statements and right wing flirtations, but it would be a shame for this gem to get lost in the fray.

22) CHURCH OF THE COSMIC SKULL - SCIENCE FICTION

I don’t always love heavily conceptualized “revival” type bands, but this one is so much fun, not just doing pitch perfect 70s hard rock, but also spoofing (at least, I think it’s a spoof) the phenomenon of 70s cults. The members seem to dress in all white, and look like they just stepped off some Jesus-dude’s farm/compound. Of course it wouldn’t work if the music wasn’t so damn hooky. Harmonies, heavy organs, and hella riffs.

23) VINCE STAPLES - FM!

And another super short hip-hop album from one of contemporary rap’s best. Vince’s projects usually feature stripped down beats that would sound good in a car or a club, but the lyrical matter is dark as hell, another example of what a strange genre gangsta rap is when viewed from the outside. It’s hyper-masculine and braggadocios, but also equally often an expression of black pain that is then commodified into bangers for clubs, cars, and house parties full of white frat boys to dance and drink to. The contrast is all the more apparent every time Vince mentions one of his dead friends. I dunno dude, maybe I’m just getting old.

24) JANELLE MONAE - DIRTY COMPUTER

This didn’t grab me as immediately as her previous two full lengths, trending a little too close to mainstream pop for my tastes. But underneath the added sheen, it’s still a Janelle Monae album, bouncing gleefully from Prince-style funk jams to buoyant electro tunes. Monae drops the cyber-punk robo future concept to make an on-the-nose, album length celebration of queerness (though I think there may be some sci-fi on the Dirty Computer short film, which I haven’t watched yet.) The celebratory nature fits the larger, more conventional pop moves here, a sort of “queering” of mainstream pop. There’s also more rapping here than ever, and it’s always fun to hear Monae drop some bars.

25) FUCKED UP - DOSE YOUR DREAMS

Image by CRUSTINA! via Flickr

Similar to the above, this is an album from a long time favorite of mine that didn’t grab me as much as their earlier efforts, and that also seems to be making some moves toward a more mainstream pop sound, though here of course it’s pop music featuring a bellowing, gravel voiced hardcore singer and a bunch of loud Cock Sparrer style guitar lines. This is a concept album, apparently about a character who quits his job and goes on a drug fueled odyssey through the nature of reality, learning to reject an oppressive capitalist society, which sounds like the plot of an 80s British comic book, and hey, the cover is basically ripped straight from the pages of Watchmen, so there you go. They try out a lot of different styles here, which can be a bit hit or miss, but the core of Fucked Up, the interplay between Abraham’s bombastic bellows and huge sounding guitars, is as raucous and triumphant as ever, if a little more familiar.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Ahhhhhh I get to share some of MAH COMICS KNOWLEDGE :D

Duela is a character who I learned about in the Oddest Way Possible...through a comedy website back in the early 2000′s all about silver age DC and Marvel comics

Since then I’ve tracked down and read the comics she showed up in and oh boy does this character have a WEIRD ASS HISTORY

So

The Duela here appeared in the silver age, back when the Joker was a bit more chill and so that’s why he didn’t have a problem with her running around as a Lady Joker and why she and Harley never really met or interacted back then...she did a bunch of weird Sort Of Crimes to get the attention of Robin and Batgirl (The Dick and Barbara versions) before revealing that she wanted to make up for her fathers crimes...said father actually being TWO FACE not the Joker...hence “DUELA Dent” because apparently even before his face got melted by acid Two Face was EXTRA AF about the number two and honestly no wonder his wife became a serial killer dealing with this shit in her home life...

But I digress

Duela joined the Teen Titans for a couple of adventures, including the one seen above and then just sort of...VANISHED

Then a much much older Duela showed up later on to reveal she WASN’T Two Face’s daughter?

Then showed up again in an asylum in a scene that suggested everything in these stories was just something she imagined?

But THEN she showed up much younger again in around her twenties or so apparently her adventures with this Teen Titans group once again canon...in a possible future she went on a killing spree and then got murdered by Tim Drake because Geoff Johns writing just does stuff like that sometimes

in the present day she was seemingly both a hero and a villain

She hung out with a bunch of villains and implied that it was her MOTHER who was a costumed character not her dad in an intringuing plot point that DC did absolutely nothing with

She showed up to kick the crap out of Dr Light in a pretty fun story because Dr Light being beaten up is always fun and said more cryptic stuff that was also NEVER FOLLOWED UP ON

Why you ask?

Well...as Linkara could tell you...the reason for this and also basically EVERY OTHER bad decision DC has made in the last decade or so if you trace it back far enough is...OF COURSE...fuckin COUNTDOWN

Because Countdown decided to have Duela show up in the first issue and be pointlessly murdered the way Countdown pointlessly murdered so many others

While revealing that she was actually from another earth?

And it was revealed that Duela is actually the daughter of the Jokester and the Earth 3 version of Two Face, whose a woman with THREE faces technically who just came to the main DC earth somehow for some reason at some time

YES REALLY

I mean I genuinely would have been LESS MAD if DC had just never done ANYTHING with Duela after it dropped hints about this...I fully realise that most people probably do not care about the Jokers Daughter...but instead no, it resolved this recurring mystery in the WORST POSSIBLE WAY

It’s like if a Spider Man writer brought fuckin Facade back in a big story arc that revealed it was Mary Jane Watson all along and she was doing it because she’s actually from a parallel earth where Aunt May shot her mother and sold her into slavery

And then she got killed by a Watcher two panels after this was revealed

To complicate matters the main DCU now has ANOTHER Jokers Daughter who has nothing to do with Duela Dent and is just a woman who runs around wearing the Jokers face which he cut off (Don’t worry, he grew another one and yes I am not even kidding he actually did) who briefly teamed up with Jason Todd and looked like she was going to get a redemption arc but no turned out to be a Horrible Person All Along because why have hopeful stories when you can just have misery

I love how most of the Teen Titans are ready to leap into action with superpowers or  trying to reason with him but then Mal is just like “I am going to beat the shit out of this guy with this blunt instrument I just grabbed”

Mal is practical af and I applaud him <3

And honestly that’s still pretty gentle compared to Roy whose getting ready to straight up MURDER TWO FACE WITH AN ARROW

Meanwhile Duela is just really wishing she’d never showed up for this really awful episode of Jerry Springer