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beauty-and-passion · 2 years ago

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Eurovision 2023: the show of unfairness and the triumph of people’s hearts

My god, this year left me exhausted.

It’s 1:30 am, the Eurovision Grand Final just ended and I am starting to write this post now, because I need some time to calm myself before going to bed. And maybe putting down some thoughts about this year will help me find some peace - at least for a couple hours.

This year has not been what was supposed to be, starting from the show and ending with the winner.

But let’s start from the beginning.

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Ukraine: robbed of their own show

We all know Ukraine couldn’t host Eurovision in their country because of the war, so they asked the UK to do that.

And the UK tried to be a good host. They reminded us of the reason why Ukraine couldn’t do it, they tried to call Ukrainian artists and make the show about them... only to systematically forget it two minutes later and start acting as if they won and this was their show.

I hope now you understand why last year I said to not give them power over anything. The UK has a tiny little problem called “massive ego” and if you give them a little crumb, they will immediately scarf the whole cake down.

This year should’ve been 70% Ukraine themed and 30% UK themed. What we had instead was the other way around: the UK gave us a tiny little interval show in the semifinals about Ukraine, then a massive show all about the UK.

The Gran Final has been the icing on this disgusting cake. It started with a bang, featuring all of our favourite Ukrainian artists in the span of five minutes: Tina Karol (I had no idea she was Ukrainian, what a nice surprise!), goddess Verka, my beloved Go_A with The Only Queen That Matters, aka Kateryna Pavlenko. And, of course, our favourite winners: the Kalush Orchestra. Man Carpet is still an icon and I still wonder what the singer sees behind that pink hat, but I don’t care. It’s perfect, it’s great, I want this but 200x more. I want them to steal the show, I want them in all interval acts. But no worries, I’m sure they will definitely appear more during the final. I mean, there’s no way the UK called them just to appear for 20 seconds, right? Right?

Oh sorry, my bad. I forgot this isn’t Ukraine’s show, this is UK’s show. We should definitely have Sam Ryder in the interval act and we should definitely make it all about English songs. I mean, it’s not like there are four of the most beloved Ukrainian artists in Liverpool. Let’s make it all a huge masturbation session of the UK instead.

I apologize if my metaphor offended someone, but this is what I felt while watching the UK celebrating itself. Like... can’t you do this in a private room? Do I really have to watch it? This is just one step below Portugal’s show, which showed a massive ego as well and tortured me for three nights straight, by repeating how cool they were and how nice they were and how I would’ve done a great choice visiting them.

But even if that was torture, at least Portugal was the winner of the previous year, not a host masturbating over the fact they are allowed to host a show they didn’t win.

The only choice I fully approve of in this show is the postcards idea: that was very elegant and respectful and I want to thank the person who thought about it. The cards show Ukraine’s beautiful places, UK’s beautiful places and every country’s beautiful places. It’s all beautiful and it’s a great way to both honor Ukraine and emphasize UK’s hosting role, since it looks almost like the UK acts as a “connection” between Ukraine and every other country.

Unfortunately for us, this is the last proof of elegance we will see for the rest of the show.

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Danemark and Poland: robbed even before starting

Do you remember Danemark’s and Poland’s entries? I know, me neither. Bland, forgetful, two huge balls of nothing.

Well, I have a good news and a bad one. The good one is that Danish and Polish people are not insane and their musical tastes are actually way better than this. The bad news is that the two entries we got (Bejba and Tiktokkid) were not supposed to win their country’s competition, because the public’s favourites were different. But, like, VERY different.

Same thing happened last year for Spain, but at least Chanel was able to put on a great show - even if her song was boring. Danemark and Poland didn’t have that either: one gave us a meme, the other gave us nothing. Disappointing.

So let’s clean Danemark’s and Poland’s names, by listening to the artists they were actually supposed to bring. Let’s start with Danemark and please, tell me if the tiktok kid is better than this (if you dare):

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And before you think: “oh my gosh, this could’ve been a great entry for Danemark!”, please listen to what Poland was supposed to bring:

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I love this song. I love this cute nice boy. I love the classical vibes. And when I played this song for my father, my 70-year-old father told me, with no hesitation: “Oh, this is way better than the other one!”.

So if a 70-year-old can recognize how good this song is, then there’s no generational gap and it’s not true that people are accustomed to the same boring stuff. If a song is good, is good. If a song is bland, is bland.

By now you probably already heard from Polish people about how the voting system of their competition was rigged and how Blanka won thanks to the power of nepotism. So our duty as Europeans (and as people with some fucking taste) is to stream Gladiator, listen to all of his songs and shower this boy with love because he needs to know the world loves him.

And for you all, Polish people: thank you for making us know about your true winner. He really looks like one and we love him too.

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Germany: robbed while trying

I really cannot understand why people keep hating Germany this much. Is it still because of WW2? What did they do, to deserve the bottom of the chart? I know it’s funny, I know it’s for the memes ah ah ah, but also... come on. Come. On. Are you really telling me that Poland was better than Germany? Are you really telling me that the UK was better than Germany?

I can assure you that if Sweden brought this exact same song, the jury would’ve given this song 300 points. But hey, ThE jUrY iS iMpArTiAl, right?

German people: I don’t know why the world hates you. I think you would’ve gotten more votes, if only the system wasn’t so stupidly rigged and forced everyone to choose one winner only, hoping to defeat the jury’s sheer power. Personally, I enjoyed your song and I enjoyed Lord of the Lost and I will definitely listen to more of their songs to add to my playlist.

However, I also understand your frustration. So you know what? Just go nuts. Choose whoever the fuck you want to represent your country, attend Eurovision whenever you want and do whatever you want, give us insane shit and amazing stuff. You will be treated the same either way, so why give a fuck? Have fun showing your insane side, I will support you 100%.

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Italy and Israel: what did they ever do to deserve these places?

As an Italian, I am honored people gave so many votes to Italy. Seriously, thank you all, nice to know people appreciate our singers.

But also: why so many votes? Why? I know Mengoni is a good singer, he has a great voice and if this was a real singing competition he would’ve probably deserved to win.

But since Eurovision is not a singing competition, why all these points? Were people really so in love with this ballad? Why? What does he have I cannot understand?

Even more important: why Israel, with their stupid unicorn song, got all these votes? Why? Is it because she’s good-looking? Seriously? Are we still stuck thinking with our genitals, instead of using our brains? I thought Europe moved past the need of thinking with genitals only and started developing some good fucking taste.

Or did her amazing “dance moves” get the public? Ok, she’s very flexible... but do I really really have to remind you of Chanel? A small dance segment is really worth so many points, when last year we had someone who was able to sing AND dance as she did for the entire song? I didn’t even like Chanel, but I am mature enough to recognize that THAT was a show, while the unicorn lady did nothing more than a small dance. Definitely not worth 185 public votes.

At least I know that my country didn’t go insane and the true points (aka the public’s points) didn’t go to the unicorn but to Moldova. Thank god, we are still able to recognize what’s good.

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Finland: the real winner

When Eurovision started, I was sure Czechia would’ve been the winner. However, their performance wasn’t enough to grant them victory.

Finland, however, had everything a winner needs. And now I will explain to you why, because I love this funky green man and you should love him too.

1) “A little man from Vantaa”

Käärijä is a rare gem, not just for Eurovision, but in general. He’s a simple, genuine, silly guy, who comes from a city few people knew before. He doesn’t speak English too well, but he tries and fails in comically sweet ways. He’s a huge fan of Rammstein, so he’s a man of culture. He became besties with Bojan from the Slovenian band Joker Out and their bromance has been the best part of this Eurovision: these two share one single braincell and I love them for this.

But, most of all, he’s humble. He never considered himself above all others, even after his victory. He knew right from the start that it would’ve been a battle between him and Loreen and yet, he never grew arrogant about it. He always talked about their rivalry in funny ways, through memes and by treating her nicely. But he also never underestimated her: he always put his whole self into every performance, knowing full well he had to give everything, to reach the public’s hearts.

And he did. He reached the public’s hearts and like many others all over the world, I also love this little man. He’s genuine, he’s honest, he’s a fashion icon (Finland changes their flag to green when), his dancers are funky and nice like him. You look at him once and all you can think is: “I want to protect him at all costs”. It’s just impossible to hate this man.

2) His song is a banger

Not only his song is a fusion of three genres (industrial metal, hyperpop and hip-hop/rap), so he’s already serving you three songs in one, but the language he used is Finnish.

I’ve heard Finnish people saying that they never used their language because it’s “too weird”. People, that’s exactly because it’s weird that you should use it! You have this gem and you hide it to us?!

If you don’t know why Finnish is so great, please consider that while all other European languages are part of the Indo-European family, Finnish, Estonian and Hungarian are not. They are part of a completely different family (the Uralic languages).

That means they have nothing similar to any other European language. They are something completely different and new, a whole new world to explore. And they’re here, in our continent!

In addition to that, Finnish is an agglutinative language, which means words are formed by stringing together morphemes. How fucking cool is that? I love this kind of language!

As someone who studied English, French, German and Russian, Finnish is something that gets my attention. I can recognize similarities between Germanic, Slavic and Italic languages and I love them, but Finnish is an unexplored world. It’s made of sounds that well, sound familiar even if they’re not. It’s a constant surprise, you know?

Also, I love that it’s a language full of vowels because it makes me think of my own mother tongue (Italian). It’s a bit like feeling at home, even if our languages have nothing in common <3

3) The best performance of Eurovision 2023

I love the Croatian daddies like the next person (and I’m glad the public gave them the top 10 because they deserve it), but Käärijä’s performance had everything: it told us a story (i.e. how Käärijä slowly emerges from behind his barriers to join the party), he gave us the best stupid dance moves and there’s even a family-friendly human centipede. What else do you need, to start dancing?

Also, another shoutout to his dancers, because I live for those shocking pink dresses and for their immensely creepy expressions. And I live for the public always welcoming them with screams: they deserve it.

I know you already enjoyed it 200 times, but you know what? Let’s fucking destroy the views of this video and let’s watch it again. And also, let’s notice how much the public enjoys it. How much they screamed, how they sang with him, how they enjoyed this party.

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Even without knowing Käärijä, you can feel he put his whole self into this. And the public felt it too.

And the final result was astonishing: he got 376 points from the public. It’s the second-highest public score, after Kalush Orchestra, who got 439 points.

If you notice, Käärijä’s percentage is even higher than Kalush Orchestra’s! And such a high result means one thing and one thing only: the public has chosen its winner. He is the winner. People are sovereign and people’s will has been very clear about it. So when I say he’s the winner, it’s not because I want to indulge him: it’s because it’s the fucking truth.

Also, please notice the kind of songs the public chose as their top 3 favorites: songs with nothing mainstream and native languages. All while the jury thinks what we want is the same boring shit we can hear on the radio 24/7.

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A painful evening

Let me start by making something clear: I don’t hate Loreen and I don’t hate Sweden. It’s not their fault if they win. They are just exploiting the situation, because they learned what the good formula is and keep using it over and over.

Loreen knows that if she sends another song that is just like all the others she made, she will get a high position. And now, thanks to yesterday’s victory, she knows she doesn’t even have to try. Why should she do something different, when doing the same thing twice made her win twice? Why try something different, why step out of her comfort zone? If she does the same thing, she can win. So she will keep doing the same thing.

Same goes for the entire country of Sweden. They learned that if they bring the most boring, generic pop song you can listen to on every radio on planet Earth, you will win. So, they will keep sending it. After all, a bland pop song is what the world is more accustomed to, so why change? Why do something different, when they can be teacher’s pet and always get a high score? This isn’t being stupid, this is being clever.

But is it elegant and fair too? Oh honey, absolutely not. This is the exact opposite of what elegance and fairness are.

On Saturday evening, when we reached the voting part of the show, the crowd literally CHEERED AND SANG Käärijä’s name or “Cha Cha Cha”. Multiple times.

Once the public clearly states who they want to win, then the competition is over. When the consensus is unanimous, there’s no competition anymore. The winner is already here. Everything else is just white noise and bureaucracy.

That’s what I felt, while I was forced to keep listening to a bunch of people loudly kissing Sweden’s ass. The public had already decided, we already have a winner. Why are we still wasting time?

And if forcing us to keep listening to this pitiful charade was not enough, the hosts decided to lose that shred of elegance that was still left on this joke of a show and not only shushed the public all time but even said “just ignore everyone”, as if their voices didn’t really matter. It’s not like this is a music competition and the public is the final receiver of said music, after all.

I don’t know you, but I don’t like to see the sovereign public being silenced and told they do not matter, all while a bunch of people takes the decisions for them. Maybe the Brits are accustomed to being silenced because an old rich man has to decide for them, but other countries don’t work like that. Like, you know, the one they’re hosting the competition for.

There was nothing democratic about Saturday evening. There was nothing fair in silencing the public and pretending they haven’t chosen their winner one hour ago, because teacher’s pet had to win again.

Do you really think Sweden deserved this victory more than Finland? Do you really think that a country that won six times needed to add this victory to their list, so they can say “ah ah we won as many times as Ireland”? Or just because they can do their stupid ABBA anniversary next year? Is this the reason why we choose our winner, now? The past glories of a country? Well, then in 2048 is the anniversary of Dana International’s winning song, let’s all go to Israel! And in 2056 we’ll go to Finland, because it’s the anniversary of Lordi’s winning. And in 2071 will be 50 years from the Maneskin’s victory, so let’s come back to Italy.

What, does that sound ridiculous? Tell that to the jury, then.

I feel immensely sorry for the Finnish people, because I read online how much this victory could’ve meant for them. This could’ve been so important, such a good chance to shine for a country that considers their language “too weird” and who hasn’t won in 17 years. And since they are stuck between that ticking bomb that is Russia and the always perfect Sweden, they really needed something that gave them more positive attention.

And it broke my heart even more to see Käärijä suffering. He even apologized to his nation. He did something amazing and he still apologized. He literally won and apologized for not winning. That’s unfairness to its finest.

And if all of this is not enough, the results of the public’s vote came out and oh, look, not a single country gave 12 points to Sweden, while almost every country gave 12 points to Finland. Wow, who would’ve fucking guessed that teacher’s pet won because of the teacher.

Again: does that seem fair and democratic to you?

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Oligarchy masqueraded as democracy

Let’s do a little bit of math, shall we?

Each national jury consists of five people + one backup juror. They supposedly vote for the best singer and performance- AHAHAH great joke, very funny.

But let’s not focus on this, now: let’s focus on numbers.

37 countries participated this year. So 37 x 6 = 222. The jury is made up of 222 people in total.

The entire population of Europe is around 451 million people, but let’s keep it low because Eurovision isn’t watched by all Europeans. Let’s take just the number of views on the Youtube streaming of the Grand Finale: 9.5 million people. Let’s round up to 9 million, okay?

Okay, so now we have 222 people on one side and 9 million people on the other. Let’s pretend that less than half of them voted at least one time.

Okay, now look me straight in the eyes and explain why the votes of 222 people should have the same weight as the votes of 4 million people. Please, explain to me how democratic this decision is, can’t wait to hear it.

But you know what? Even if it was 1 million voters only, that wouldn’t have been fair either. In no universe is fair to put one million voters on the same level as 222 voters.

There’s only one possible scenario in which this is fair: if Eurovision was a talent show specifically centered around performances and voices, with a jury made of vocal teachers and choreographers, and all I have to do is passively watch it on my couch.

But from the moment you gave the public the power to choose who the winner could be, then why do the votes of all the people from Europe (and Australia) have the same weight as what 222 people decided?

This isn’t a democracy. This is an oligarchy masquerading as a democracy: a bunch of people decides what you should like, basing their decision on their own interests. And you have no way to oppose them, unless you focus all your votes on one single artist, hoping it would defeat the one the jury chooses.

But this deprives Eurovision of the competition aspect. It’s not a competition if I have to endure a tug-of-war against the jury. It’s not a competition if I am forced to give all of my votes to one artist only, instead of spreading them out to all my favorites. And even in that case, basically all of Europe should vote for that specific artist to try and overcome the sheer power the jury has. Again: does this sound democratic to you?

Now you may say: but the jury is made of experts. Oh, you mean the same experts that proved multiple times they base their votes on politics, who their neighbor is and who can corrupt them better? Or do you mean the same experts that in the past made their choice even without listening to the songs?

The truth is that we have 222 people who can easily be influenced by anything and their power is as strong as the power of 4 million people at least. Four million people, who got invested and followed the entire show from start to finish, if I may add. Please, tell me about the fairness of this system again.

And before you say “but Eurovision is a music competition and we need experts”... sorry, but no. According to Wikipedia, the jury was present before televoting was born, but once televoting was extended to all competing countries (1997 ca.), the jury was no more. It came back only in 2009, with this unfair compromise of 50/50 between jury ad public votes.

So there was a period of time in which there wasn’t a jury and in that period we had the first win for Estonia, Turkey, Latvia, Greece, Finland, Serbia and Russia. How weird that, once the jury isn’t there, other nations have a chance to win too.

The thing is: Eurovision isn’t a simple music competition. It’s more like a window. A window where anyone can have their chance to shine. No matter if you’re from a well-known country and everyone knows who you are or if you’re from a tiny piece of land in the middle of nowhere and all you can do is speak your native language: if you have the right combination of song+performance+voice, you can win.

And it’s beautiful we have this window, because it allows us to see something we’ve never seen before: rock bands, silly songs, folk songs and straight-up weird songs. In Eurovision, you don’t have to listen to just the same generic bland song, but you are allowed to listen to different artists and different cultures - and if you like them, you are free to choose your winner, no matter how not mainstream it is.

And we Europeans need this. We need to celebrate the diversity of Europe and embrace them. We need to see people from different countries hanging out, having fun and becoming best friends. For a continent that has always had (and still has) a problem with wars, we need something that allows us to look at each other and not see a piece of land to conquer, but a place full of life and culture to learn about.

And since we pride ourselves to be the continent where democracy was born, let’s put this democracy in the show we’re so proud of. Do we really need the jury vote? Do we really need the vote of this bunch of people? Okay, let’s have them. But it’s not acceptable to give them the same weight as the public’s vote. 50/50 isn’t acceptable anymore. 20/80 is fairer. I’m feeling nice, we can even do a 30/70. It’s just not acceptable that 300 people should have power over millions over something those same millions will enjoy. As always, the public is sovereign.

And if the public’s taste is shit, at least we will be free to blame ourselves for something we brought unto ourselves - and not feel sick and angry over something others forced upon us.

Or everything can stay the same and the 50/50 system will keep going. But at least, be honest enough to not waste everyone’s time, by pretending the public can do something more than watch what a bunch of people decide for them. Do not pretend to be righteous and democratic, when you’re not.

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The triumph of people

This finale drained me. If it were just a little fairer, I would’ve been thrilled to see Luxembourg coming back after years. But right now I don’t feel like watching next year’s show. I know it will probably be amazing, because Sweden is very good at hosting. But I don’t want to see them masturbating over how good they are and how much they deserved to win - even if they didn’t win.

And, honestly, I don’t care about ABBA either. I don’t give a damn about them, nor about their anniversary. I’m definitely not looking forward to that either.

I will listen to the songs as always, then I might give it a try and watch the semifinals. It depends on how bitter my grudge will be, after one full year. If it will still be very bitter, I will probably spend my time better, by listening to the songs more times, watching the performances and making my own personal final chart. I won’t have ABBA or funny interval acts, but I can try my best to make it enjoyable to read. And it won’t be a fucking charade, at least.

Sorry, but I will keep being bitter for some time. And if you feel bitter too, you have every right to be, no matter what people say. Your voice has been silenced and ignored and numbers don’t lie. It’s very understandable you feel bad.

But you know what you can do? Use your anger in a positive way. And no, that doesn’t mean sending death threats to Loreen. You can accuse Sweden of its lack of elegance and decorum if you want, but always be polite. Don’t be like some of them, who are such sore losers they had the guts to be angry at Finland because it didn’t give Sweden any public points. Bo-hoo, may I add.

What you can do instead is make some noise: ask for the jury to be abolished or for this shitty system to change. And, even more important, support your winners. A lot of amazing artists have been wronged this year, so shower them with love.

And send your love especially towards our winner. Stream Cha Cha Cha, check his other songs, shower him with love and support, make a statue for him in Vantaa, pay me a plane ticket because I need to tackle him in a hug and tell him how much the world loves him. Let’s show the world that he slaps, Finnish slaps and we want more of this.

Do you still need more Cha Cha Cha in your life? Good news: Lord of the Lost made a cover for Cha Cha Cha and OH MY GOSH it’s insanely good. It has a lot of Rammstein vibes, it’s cool and it slaps even harder. Check it out because it’s amazing!

Also because the German singer learned some Finnish, just to spell every word correctly and, according to the Finnish people in the comment section, he did a great job. What a wholesome guy, I love and stan him and his band - and you should do the same, because they are amazing and they don’t deserve last place <3

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And if you need more Käärijä in your life, there are amazing Youtube channels with great collections of his moments, like Eurovision Is Ambition and Uni Dash Corn. I especially suggest you see his bromance with Bojan - and speaking of him, another shoutout to Bojan! He’s such a nice, wholesome guy with great charisma, you cannot hate him. I am not head over heels for his song, but he’s so fucking wholesome, he deserves good things only.

And I also suggest you see how Käärijä has been welcomed in Helsinki. He has been welcomed like a fucking hero, a national treasure. And of course he was: he is the true winner after all, he deserved the welcome only winners get.

It’s a bit like he said in his apology: the better one won. And so he did.

You know, I think the only good thing that came out from this shitshow that was Eurovision 2023, is the people’s heart. People showed their kindness, their love, the best of humankind. We saw acts of friendship, we saw empathy and appreciation. The hug between Käärijä and Bojan, despite its sad meaning, is also a perfect example of what we all should be: kinder, softer, more empathetic, together, no matter how far and different our countries are.

In a way, I am happy that Ukraine’s message of unity was still carried out, even if indirectly and definitely not the way the UK wanted.

And in the end, the trophy isn’t so important: it’s just a piece of glass after all. And no piece of glass is worth the impact one little man from Vantaa left on so many people all over the world.

I know you will never read this post, but I wish you a lifetime of success, Käärijä. You have everything a winner needs and, in fact, you are one. So don’t be too hard on yourself, because the world still needs to show you how much it loves you. Take your time, relax, have fun and come back when you’re ready - just don’t leave us hanging for too much, ‘kay?

And you, Finnish people: please treat our beloved winner with love for us too. We will do our best from afar, so let’s be together on this as we should <3

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leeofthevoid · 9 months ago

Text

I do not have a Crush

Jann Mardenborough (Movie) x Reader

a/n: Hello guys. I am alive, so please don't be mad about being MIA. School is hectic but finals are almost over. Rich World will continue but will change the title soon. (Yay!) This one is for the Jann girlies!

word count: 2673

warnings: Strong language

Part One

You sat next to Jann as he looked longingly at Audrey, who was chuckling with his younger brother, Coby, and his friends.

“If you stare long enough, she might just melt.” You sarcastically remarked as you sat beside him, a beer in your hand. Jann rolled his eyes, looked down at his Diet Coke can, and sighed. “Any reason you’re bugging me and not Coby?”

“No reason. I just wanted some fresh air, and this is my spot, the last time I remembered.” You leaned on the railing, stretching your back as you looked at the friends laughing. “You should shoot your shot. Audrey likes tall guys the last time I remembered.”

Another dismissive sigh was heard from his area while playing with the can, which he barely touched. “You know that your advice won’t make a difference, right? I heard you had a thing for Corey, yet you still haven’t made moves.” He looked at you with a victorious smirk. A moment passed until the words finally settled in your mind, and retaliated with violence by smacking him on the arm. “Oh fuck off, I was helping you.” He busted out laughing while you walked away to go back to the group.

That’s how it usually goes when you try to be friendly with Jann. He was always the hopeless romantic, yet he always had a knack for annoying you when it’s just you two.

The next time you saw him was by the department store. You and Coby had the same schedule that day, and he wanted to go to where Jann works to assert some younger brother dominance thing that you would never understand. You saw Jann’s tall frame putting back women’s clothes as Coby called him over a few aisles down.

“Jann! Come here!” The loud calls did not go unnoticed by anyone in the store, embarrassing him enough to run to you two and pull you aside quickly. “What is wrong with you, man? I’m at work!” He glared at his brother and hit him on the shoulder. Coby laughed and pulled you in front as a human shield.

“Relax, I just brought her here to shop for some lady stuff. Said she had a date to go to that needed some hot undie set.” You raised your eyebrows in confusion while shaking your head.

“What? No way? I came here because you said you will mghdnfdg…” Coby clasped a hand on your mouth, muffling your comebacks while he pushed you off to Jann, who caught you and ran away.

“That asshole! What was he up to?” Jann slowly let you go while you balanced yourself, silently thanking him. He sighed and cleared his throat. “Whatever it was, it’s his stupidity catching up to him.”

You also sighed, having no idea what to do now that Coby left you to fend for yourself. Jann scratched the back of his neck and checked his watch. “Hey, if you’re not busy, maybe ditch buying that ‘set’ and grab lunch with me? I’m done for the day anyways.”

Your stomach was growling, and you barely got to eat something before coming here, so lunch sounded terrific. “You’re right. I’m starving. I’m craving some sandwiches, so take me somewhere with that, and I’ll pay for our lunch.” He chuckled and walked to his co-worker, probably saying something about leaving now, to which the other guy nodded.

He turned back with a smile as he removed his vest and threw his arm around your shoulder, dragging you out of the store and to a sandwich place nearby. “Her Highness needs her food!” You rolled your eyes before walking to the counter and ordering your food.

He was such a bastard when it came to food, but he made it up to you by bringing him to where he played that racing game he was so obsessed with. He told you it was called ‘Gran Turismo,’ but you insisted it was a racing game just like every other you’ve come across. It was fun to piss him off, even if he didn’t.

“Go wider!”

“But there’s a line! That’s the point of the game: you follow the line!” You grip the wheel of the console and glared at Jann. “No, the point of the game is to win.” Jann puts his hands on yours and takes a wider stance on the wheel instead of following the line. You hated his weird obsession with whin, but it was his fault for making you play a game. You heard Dylan call your name from behind while patting your head. “Thanks for going today, love. Seeing Jann so frustrated is such a treat.” He chuckled as he watched the screen of the console.

The car effectively passed by the others and eventually got to fourth place, but at this point, it was all Jann. He even scooted you over to sit next to you. Brows creased in focus while his hands gripped tighter on yours. You watched the screen as he maneuvered past third place and second. Dylan and some other people gathered around as you two played the game, a sight you were new to. He was always the withdrawn type, but his apparent obsession with this game gained him a small fanbase in this arcade.

Jann held on, his palms sweating while turning and tailing the car in the first place. He hastily turned the wheel and accelerated, making your car and the first placer side by side before he stepped on the gas and made it to first place. The crowd around you cheered while you felt the shoot of adrenaline finally settle in you as Jann fought to keep his spot in first place.

“Woooh!” You happily screamed out as you saw the finish line. “Jann, don’t you dare lose!” You hear him chuckle as he nods and steps on the gas while the car approaches the finish line. The crowd shushes, and you only hear your heart beating as the time slows. The next thing you know, you saw the car cross the checkered finish line, and the big letters “First Place” flashed.

Everyone cheered as you both jumped up from the seat, screaming and jumping at him. “Oh my gosh, you’re amazing!” He caught you and gave you a tight hug before setting you down.

“I mean…You did help so…” You shoved him off and rolled your eyes as a friend of Jann’s came over.

“Holy shit, bruv, you did it again!” He looked at you and then smirked, “Is this Miss Audrey with us right now?” He offered his hand to you while you took it, giggling.

“No way, I’m far from Audrey. She’s prettier and dresses simpler. I’m more of Coby’s eccentric best friend, who he ditched.” You took his hand and shook it lightly before sliding it away.

“My name’s Bryan. And you mentioned being ditched? A pretty thing like you?”

You giggled softly and playfully rolled your eyes.“Y/N. And Jann should totally bring Audrey next time, no?” Bryan poked the boy behind you while he teased Jann about his very obvious crush on Audrey.

The rest of the day went swimmingly when Bryan and Jann offered to drop you off at your flat, getting Bryan’s number saved in the process. Such a flirt, that one. Who would have expected that Jann’s friends weren’t all weird geeks?

After a few weeks or a day, before Jann got the good news, he was lying on his bed contemplating the trajectory of his life.

He knew that he had no solid plan for his future, but he was sure it had some good things in it. Driving was his passion, and it was a big deal for him to be somewhat of a driver. He may not have driven any of the real cars in GT, but he knew all of them inside and out. It was meant for him.

A few taps on his windows suddenly broke his quiet reverie. He slowly sat up and looked at the window, waiting to see if it was in his head or not.

It was not.

After the taps became much more apparent, he stood up and slowly approached the window. When he saw you smiling at him, he quickly opened it and let you in.

“How the hell did you get up from there?!” Jann let you in before checking outside the window. He looked around to see how you scaled his house and saw no decent ledges you could have used.

“Jannie! So sorry for being an intruder, but Coby was still not in his room, so…” You chuckled as you rambled.

“Wait, Coby knows about this?”

You paused and sat down on his bed, giving him a confused look. “Of course he does. I always swing by his room when I’m either high or drunk and wait for it to sober down.”

His face twisted in an even more confused and worried way while checking his small snack box for water. He opened it before he gave it to you, sitting beside you.

“Any reason why you’re dressed up, smelling like alcohol and cigarettes on a Wednesday night?” You giggled while ungracefully handing him back the water bottle. “It’s a thing with my cousin. You know how it is.”

“Being used like an ATM machine?” Jann interjected with some sass you never heard from him.

You scoffed and raised your eyebrows. “Coby probably exaggerated the stories! I just don’t know where to spend my money!” He wasn’t convinced and pushed himself up against the wall, tuning you out, perhaps.

“Ever since you broke up with your ex, Coby noticed that you’ve been partying a lot. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I get wanting to splurge, but you don’t even do it for yourself.”

“Says the guy who saves up for his set-up. At least don’t be a hypocrite.” Warranting another eye roll to Jann for being a snoopy ass. “Besides, it’s fun. The party was amazing, and so many people were there.”

“Spare me the details and sober up so you can go home.” He got up and went to his closet only to toss you a sweater when he closed it. “What?” The confusion and delayed effect of the alcohol and joint were there.

“You are barely covered up. It’s freezing out there, and you have no layers on.” Jann sat on his gaming chair, a nod of plea to put it on without any resistance.

After the slow, grueling struggle to put it on, the exhaustion hit you. You slowly slid under the covers of his bed. “Jann, wake me up in a few. I’ll nap. The running here must have tired me.”

“What? You ran here?!” His question was left unanswered as you dozed off.

Jann sighed and draped the covers over your shoulder while setting up a chill late-night cruise on Gran Turismo with his friends.

Little moments like those were never really forgotten. You just act like it’s nothing and never talk about hanging out with Jann when you two get the chance. It just happens, really. It's not like you’d ask him using a lame excuse just to talk about stuff or do activities together. His leaving you with the dumbest goodbye didn’t even make you feel empty at all.

It just felt weird in a way. Coby started to practice more since his brother suddenly got into a rich guy’s sport instantly while he had to work hard. Men and their pride will always amaze you.

You were lounging on your hotel bed one weekend when you got a call from Jann. You slowly deliberated before answering it because, first of all, it was out of nowhere. And secondly, Why? After three more rings, you had the guts to answer it finally.

“Hello?”

“Took you too long to answer for someone glued to their phone the whole day, huh.”

You rolled your eyes before hearing a slight chuckle on his end.

“Hello to you too, Jann.”

“Hello, you. How have you been?”

How thoughtful of him to ask first. “I’ve been well. Although it is a bit fishy that you go radio silent and suddenly call me out of nowhere after a few months and then suddenly talk to me.”

“Always the skeptic.” He chuckled, then cleared his throat. “So um…A little snitch mentioned that you were in Japan, and I flew Audrey out here to spend some time together. We could use the company?”

Wow. That’s a lot to unpack right there. “Okay, what? You and Audrey are an item now? Since when was this?” He was about to speak when you cut him off. “Second, who the hell told you about me being in Japan? Third, of all…Are you proposing a double date?”

“Hold on, what? Double date?” You groaned and dropped down to your bed when Jann sounded hell-bent on your new love life.

“It’s just a date. I’m staying here for two months and might as well make the most of it. Answer my questions, too, though!”

“Okay. Well. Agree to go meet us at this location tomorrow night, and I’ll tell you everything.”

“Hm. Fine.”

The call promptly ended with a goodbye before he sent the location of the place where you’d have your double date at. You wanted to think about it a little. The temptation was strong, though. Feeling homesick and alone can really distort a person’s perception.

You stared at the recent call logs and sighed. You left the app and opened the chat with Tadashi to tell him that date night is now a double date.

This was the worst idea ever. Jann has been weird around Tadashi ever since you introduced them to each other. It was awkward and tense for the first few minutes, Jann occasionally raising his eyebrows at you. You four were sitting in front of each other in a really nice sushi place that he was recommended.

“So…Where did you two meet?” Bless this girl. Audrey will always save the day. “Actually, it’s a funny story.” You rubbed Tadashi’s hand as he snaked his arm over your shoulder. You smiled at him as he did the same. “We met at the fish market when I slipped trying to buy some fresh salmon.”

“No way! You guys, that's so cute.” Audrey smiled at you in excitement. She’s such a good friend, but at the same time, her excitement might confuse Tadashi about your short-term set-up with him. “She looked offended when I asked her for her number, but I guess that noodle shop recommendation put me in her good books.” The three of you chuckled before Jann interjected, “That doesn’t sound creepy at all.” Audrey widened her eyes and lightly hit his shoulders before apologizing to Tadashi and you.

The passive aggressiveness did not stop there, though. Throughout the whole dinner, Jann always had some weird bullshit about your life ever since his parents dubbed you their ‘Long lost daughter’. It’s just weird that he was the one who insisted on meeting up with you.

At one point, Audrey decided to call it a night and even bought you some dessert when you paid the bill. It just upset you that Jann never even said thank you or acknowledged anything whatsoever.

Thankfully, that son of a bitch realized his rudeness two days later and texted you.

J: Hey

Y: What?

J: Was a jerk 2 u

J: sorry :(

Y: It’s fine

Y: Tadashi ghosted me. Your fault 🙄

J: U were too good for him n e ways

Y: Fuck u

J: in your dreams 😇

Y: Ill block you if you dont stop

J: was just jokin :( want to watch me practice driving? Audrey left and I have sum time to spare before germany