#Jake seres imagine | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

topguncortez · 1 year ago

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Float Like A Feather || Whumptober Day 11 - J. Seresin

Whumptober Masterlist

synopsis: fear does a strange thing to the human body, and you've become victim to its paralyzing affects.

word count: 2.7k

@ailesswhumptober prompt: paralyzed, adrenaline

warnings: sexual assault, work place violence, victim blaming, fear, cursing, grief, sexual harassment, mentions of retaliation, mentions of emergency contraceptives, mentions of self harm.

Fear does a strange thing to the human body. Some, when they get scared, choose to run. They choose to get as far away from things as possible and as quickly as they can. Others choose to fight. They’ll stand in front of the gates of hell and battle their way out of it.

And some freeze in the face of fear. Their bodies are paralyzed, unable to move. Unable to run or fight. Unable to even make a sound.

You always imagined if you were in a situation, you’d be the one to fight back. You’re a Naval Aviator for Christ’s sake. You do the extreme every day. You’ve gone through hell and came out laughing on the other side. But in all those moments, you had been in total control of your body. You had control of the jet, the joystick in your hand as you expertly maneuvered yourself away from the danger.

You had been utterly defenseless against him. It was almost as if you were having an out-of-body experience as he had your body pinned, your cheek smashed into the cool hardwood of his desk. You couldn’t do anything but stay still and pray that this wasn’t actually happening to you, as he forcefully pulled your pants down. Your eyes screwed shut tightly, your ears straining to focus on the clock ticking away on the wall above his desk. It would be over soon, he even told you as he held your wrists down, surely leaving bruises behind.

“You tell anyone, and I’ll ruin your career.” He said as he tucked himself back into his khakis, leaving you still frozen in fear and lying with your cheek pressed to the desk. He bent down and placed a kiss on your cheek, running his hand over your hair, “Told you it wouldn’t be bad if you stayed still.”

You were still frozen to that desk even as he left, shutting his office door behind him. He let out a deep sigh, plastering a smile on his face as he finished tucking in his shirt.

— — —

Jake felt stupid.

Here he was, 6’0 190 pounds with about 6 percent body fat, dressed in his green flight suit, carrying a bright pink Starbucks drink and a cake pop in his hand. The heads of some of the flight crew turned as Jake walked through the hangar, pink drink in hand and a scowl on his face. He wouldn’t be doing this if he wasn’t totally head over heels in love with a girl who hardly paid him any attention. But from day one, when you had totally schooled him during a dog fight, he had been in love with you.

“Never thought we’d see the day,” Rooster spoke, “Hangman. . . drinking a girly drink with 500 calories of sugar in it. You feeling okay?”

“Shut up,” Jake mumbled as he sat down in his chair, and placed the drink in the cupholder next to him, “It’s for Grim.”

Rooster let out a loud laugh, “Was her diss yesterday not enough for you to get the hint?”

“There was no diss.”

There was a total diss. You had fired back one of Jake’s infamous “this is how you bury a fossil” lines as you left him hanging in the air and wide open for Rooster to come in and get the shot. Jake could hear Fanboy’s loud laugh over comms, congratulating you on your win and mocking Jake. He landed with a bruised ego and a semi-hard-on.

Everyone took their seats as Maverick walked in, giving the day’s brief and starting in on the new flight plan for the week. Jake looked over his shoulder noticing, taking note of your absence. He knew that you had a morning meeting with Captain Underwood, some new hot shot that was brought on to take Mav’s spot now that he finally got prompted. It wasn’t that Jake didn’t like him, it was that Jake somewhat hoped that Maverick would stay head of the squadron. Captain Underwood just had a sort of arrogance that Jake had no time for.

As the brief droned on, Jake was starting to get concerned. It wasn’t like you to be late for meetings like this. Jake kept checking his watch every thirty seconds or so, and glancing over his shoulder, waiting for you to appear. You were almost annoyingly on time to things, giving Jake shit for being on the dot. Hell, he was almost positive that you had never taken a sick day in your whole career.

Rooster also noticed Jake’s strange behavior in your absence. He leaned forward, “Do you think she’s-” He whispered right as the door clamored open. Everyone turned towards the back, as you stood frozen in the doorway.

Jake knew something was wrong just by looking at you. Your normal confidence was gone as you walked forward under the scrutiny of everyone’s eyes. You threw yourself down in your chair, not bothering to look up at Maverick. Jake had expected you to apologize to Mav and the group, and give some sort of explanation for your tardiness. But instead, you sat there, with your eyes trained downward, rubbing at your wrists. Jake looked up at Maverick, the older man’s eyes filled with confusion and concern. The two men locked eyes and Jake simply shook his head, willing him to go on and not ask you why you were late in front of everyone.

“Anyway, as I was saying. . .” Maverick continued.

Jake wasn’t paying the slightest bit of attention to the lesson Maverick was droning on about. Instead, his eyes were on you, trying to figure out what the hell happened.

The second the squad was dismissed for the day, you were the first one out the door. Jake didn’t even get the chance to talk to you or to offer you the watered-down pink drink that was still sitting in the cupholder.

Your same odd behavior went on for about a month. You hadn’t shown up late again, but you showed up barely on time. You wouldn’t talk to anyone or look at Jake as you sat down in your chair and kept your eyes trained on the ground. Jake noticed that you weren’t even taking notes like you usually did. But somehow, you managed to soak in everything Maverick was saying. The second you were in the sky, you executed each drill with textbook precision. You gave minimum calls to Jake as you moved about the sky, but the two of you had been flying side by side for longer than you could remember.

The hop for today had been anything but easy. Jake had been paying attention to the lesson and he still wasn’t sure if he understood it all. For once in his career, he was a bit nervous about going up in the air with you. He knew you wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt him or yourself, but he felt a sense of unease as he sat in the cockpit and watched as you went through pre-flight. It was as if you had been flying on autopilot these past couple of weeks, and Jake was hoping that you hadn’t turned it off yet.

“Dagger One, you are cleared for take-off,” The tower said over comms.

“Roger, dagger one, taking off,” Jake closed his eyes as he heard your voice. Hearing those small tidbits was all Jake or really anyone, got to hear from you.

You moved with expert precision through the air. This is where you know you are in control. This is the one place in your life where you can conquer your fear. Jake kept up with you the whole time, reciprocating your every move and anticipating the next. You hardly even had to say anything for Jake to know what you were going to do next. It was one of the reasons why you and Jake were the best pair in the sky.

The second your boots were back on the ground, the adrenaline was still coursing through your body. You had that giddy smile on your face as you took your helmet off and looked over at Jake. Everything felt normal. Everything felt like it should be.

“Nice flight, Fossil,” You shouted over the tarmac.

Jake’s head whipped towards you, his bright smile on his face, “Hey! You can teach old dogs new tricks, ya know!”

You giggled and walked over to him, “Almost thought I lost you there on the-”

“Ain’t she amazing, boys!” You were cut off by an all too familiar voice. It felt like ice had been poured down your spine. You looked at Jake like a deer in the headlights as chills arose on your skin. Jake’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked over your shoulder as Captain Underwood, Cyclone and some other Admirals walked over to them.

Captain Underwood stood next to you, a bright smile on his face, “This is Grim, short for Grim Reaper. She’s one of the best, boys.”

“Lieutenant Commander L/N,” Simpson started, “We just saw your last run with Lieutenant Commander Seresin. You’ve got some skill. The both of you.”

“Lieutenant Commander L/N is one of the best,” Admiral Underwood said as he put a hand on the middle of your back. You stiffened at his touch but knew better than to shy away. You knew that if you did something to give anything away, things would just get worse.

“It’s not so bad if you stay still.”

Jake’s green eyes narrowed in on you, as Admiral Underwood talked with the Admirals and Cyclone. You were even more clocked out than you had been in the classroom. Your gaze was fixed on the ground and you stood frozen in your spot. It was almost as if you had stopped breathing altogether.

Jake cleared his throat, interrupting the officers, “If you’ll excuse us, Admirals, we got some post-flight ops to go work on.”

“Oh of course,” Admiral Underwood said, smiling at Jake, “I’ll see you later, right, Lieutenant Commander L/N, to work on your packet?”

You looked up at him and noticed that glint in his eye. All you could do was nod, before turning on your heel and walking towards the locker rooms. Jake said a quick goodbye to the men, before jogging after you. You had already ditched your stuff, pacing into the locker room.

You were trying to calm your racing heart as you placed both hands on the cool metal lockers. The adrenaline rush you had felt after flying was quickly diminished by the paralyzing fear of being near Captain Underwood. You never had any interaction with him outside of his office and for that, you were somewhat grateful. When you would leave his office, you pushed those memories to the back of your head. You willed the feeling of his hands on you out of your mind.

Closing your eyes, you felt more in control of your breathing, as you opened your locker. All you wanted to do was go home. You wanted to go home and sit on the couch in the dark, in that oversized burnt orange sweatshirt that you had stolen from Jake on your last deployment. It had been your routine for the past month or so. Sitting on your couch and staring into the void until you fall asleep on the couch.

“Grim,” Jake’s voice boomed as he walked into the locker room. You didn’t turn to look at him, closing your eyes again and trying to keep your heartbeat at a normal pace. “What is your problem? You were fine talking to me and then all of a sudden you go silent,” Jake asked, slamming your locker shut. You jumped, still not saying a word as you stared straight ahead, “Not gonna talk?” Jake huffed, “Fine. When your ass gets kicked out of the fucking squadron for your inability to work with others, don’t come fucking crying to me.”

You clenched your jaw tightly, willing back the tears as Jake turned on his heel and stalked out of the locker room. When you heard the door slam, it was as if the damn had finally broke. You let out a loud scream and slammed your fists into the metal of the locker. Tears clouded your vision as you repeatedly slammed your right fist into the front of your locker until your knuckles split and there was a noticeable dent in the metal.

— — —

You were tired of the never-ending questions about your hand for a week. You told everyone that you had smashed it in your car door after a night at the Hard Deck. Except Jake saw straight through your bullshit. He wasn’t going to press you on it, knowing the last conversation you had wasn’t very friendly. The two of you had kept your interaction to a strictly work basis.

It was a rainy day and you were sitting in your office, staring at the small pink box that Captain Underwood had placed on your desk while you were out at lunch. He had a strict rule that he had broken and went out to make sure that nothing would transpire from the meetings in his office. You felt sick to your stomach as you looked at the morning-after pill box. You could hear the voices of your squad outside your closed door, throwing a small foam football around.

For once, in a long time, you wished that they were anywhere else but in the office.

“Whoa,” You heard Rooster’s voice call out, “Where’s the fire, Nix?”

“Where’s Mav?” Natasha asked, looking briefly into the open offices, “Where is he!?”

You quickly stood up from your desk, grabbed the pill box, and shoved it into a drawer. You opened your door, making eye contact with a panicked-looking Phoenix. Her eyes were red, tears ready to spill.

“He’s in a meeting with Cyclone and Warlock. . . what’s going on?” Jake had stepped out of his office, looking at his friend with concern.

“Ad. . . Admiral Underwood,” Natasha began, but the tears threatening to spill made her choke on her words, “H-He invited me into his office ‘cause he said he wanted to talk to me about a possible promotion. He sat down on the couch next to me and h-he. . .” Natasha looked up from fiddling with her fingers, finding your burning stare from across the room. No words needed to be exchanged between the two of you. You both knew what she was going to say.

“Did he touch you?” Jake spat, his chest heaving up and down rapidly. Rooster’s hands balled into fists, his knuckles turning white. Bob’s jaw was clenched so tightly, that Nat was scared he was going to break his teeth.

“No,” Natasha shook her head, “He tried. He put his hand on my thigh and he kissed me. I fought him off, he said it would-”

“Hurt less if you stay still,” You finished her sentence. Natasha simply nodded. Everyone’s heads turned towards you, both shocked that you had spoken and that you knew what Natasha was going to say.

“It’ll hurt less if you stay still.”

The room was silent as everyone was processing the truth that had been unraveled.

“Grim. . .” Rooster swallowed, “Did Underwood-”

“He’s tried shit with you?!” Jake snapped, his green eyes boring into you. You didn’t know what to say, so you just nodded. Embarrassment flooded your body as you looked down at your boots, “He touched you?” You nodded again, tears falling down your cheeks. You lifted your head and looked at Phoenix, who had tears down her cheeks.

“Y/N, oh my god,” Phoenix shook her head. She took a tentative step towards you, but Jake stood in the way.

“Why the hell didn’t you say anything!” Jake yelled.

“I couldn’t!” You yelled back, tears running down your face, “He said he’d ruin my career. I-I need this! I need my job, my career! I’d have nothing.”

“So you’d thought to keep quiet and let a monster go after your friend!” Jake scoffed.

You covered your face with your hands as sobs left your body, “I-I didn’t think he-”

Jake shook his head and turned towards Phoenix, “C’mon, let’s get you to someone and file a report.”

Phoenix looked at you one more time, before turning on her heel and walking out of the office, Jake following after her. It took all your strength to not collapse right there on the floor, as the rest of the dagger squad looked at you. But you swallowed your pride and held your head up as you walked to your office. The second you slammed the door shut, you fell to your knees.

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djs8891 · 5 months ago

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So many feelings here, Cece’s, Jake’s…mine 😭 I’m glad she shared her feelings with him. He needed to know how things really were for her. She put him first so often.

The mention of SERE got me too. My brother went through it in the Air Force and just hearing about it was upsetting. I can’t imagine living through it once, much less twice.

I hope Cece is able to work through her feelings and do what makes her happy. She needs a fresh start and I can only hope it’s with Jake.

'tis the damn season | Chapter 9

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Julie/Cece (OC, no physical description)

Word count: 6K

Synopsis: After six years away from home, Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin was finally going to make his parents happy and surprise his family by spending Christmas in Magnolia, Texas. Introducing his pregnant fiancee to his family is a culture clash, with rural Texas meeting California influencer. Though unhappy in his relationship, Jake knows he has to buckle down and do the right thing with a baby on the way.

The last person he expected to run into was his high school sweetheart and the one that got away, Julie.

The holidays are already going to be hard enough for Julie. Her home baking business, which had started as a fun side project, exploded after a few TikToks went viral. Just when she was getting the hang of juggling her job and business, tragedy struck. Facing her first Christmas as an orphan, the last thing Julie expected was to hear that once familiar nickname - Cece.

After almost a decade apart, Jake and Julie can't help but feel that old familiar spark. Even with the realities of their lives pressing in, they can't help but wonder what might have happened if just one of them had fought for their relationship all those years ago.

Chapter 8 | Master List | Ao3

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Chapter 9

"Hangman, my office - now."

Jake closed his eyes as the door to the Ready Room slammed shut, the silence after Cyclone's order already overwhelming. He could feel the other aviators staring and set down his nearly full cup of coffee, scrubbing a hand down his face. The soft clanking of his g-suit clips was the only sound in the room as he forced his head high and strode into the hallway, following in the air boss's wake.

Cyclone barked for him to come in when he knocked, and Jake stood at attention in front of his desk. He tried to keep his eyes on the wall over his shoulder, but he could see how the vice admiral clenched his jaw and heard the tap of his pen on the desk. "Sir -"

"Did I say you could speak, Lieutenant?" Silenced, Jake forced himself to take a breath and make sure he didn't slouch. It was another minute of tapping before his superior spoke. "I want to know why the hell the base is getting calls about your personal life…legal, the gate shacks, and even the base commander's office. And then I hear that it's not only us - Coronado is also hearing about your sex life. So why is that, Hangman?"

A wave of dread hit him. He hadn't thought, perhaps naively, that what Shayla did would get back to his job. He didn't live online - hell, his social media hadn't been updated in months, except for his ex tagging him in stuff, though his follower account was high. Cece's business was connected to her social media, so it had made sense for them to make that connection. But him? Why the hell would anyone call the fucking base? "Sir," he started again after clearing his throat. "I -"

"Save it. I've seen both videos." Cyclone ran a hand down his face before resuming his pen tapping while looking out the window. "Conduct Unbecoming," he muttered, and Jake froze. Catching this, Cyclone turned his gaze back to the younger aviator. "Conduct Unbecoming of an Officer and a Gentleman. They're tossing around the idea of hitting you with an Article 15."

Anger battled with worry at his pristine record being marked with disciplinary action. Being known for violating the Uniform Code of Military Justice. If he accepted it, an Article 15 would save him from a trial and court-martial, where he would face fines or confinement at best, lose a rank, or be dishonorably discharged at worst. The Article 15 still held a penalty. He could deal with a 30-day restriction or even his paycheck being halved for two months - it would hurt, but he could do it. But it could impact his ability to be promoted. Every time he went up for a rank, there would always be an asterisk next to his name and accomplishments. It would be on his Fitness for Duty report, marked under behavioral.

Because his fucking ex lied.

Her fucking lie made them think he'd acted dishonorably. Brought shame to the Navy. Impacted his ability to command subordinates. That her posting the video would impact his mission capability.

Jake swallowed hard, refusing to acknowledge the angry tears pricking his eyes. For years, he'd always thought his greatest regret would be letting Cece go in Virginia, but now he knew it was talking to Shayla that night at the Hard Deck.

The clicking of computer keys snapped Jake out of his shame spiral, and Cyclone's lips pressed into a thin line. "Activation orders are in your inbox. A new mission came in before the holidays, and I was going to wait to issue orders until after the new year, but the timing's perfect for getting you the hell out of my sight. The SEALs need aerial support and requested two of my best. Unfortunately, that includes you. You'll need to do a SERE refresher before deploying."

Jake's throat tightened at the mention of SERE. Like all pilots, he'd participated in Survival, Evasion, Resistance and Escape training. While the experience was invaluable, he could never entirely forget the feeling of being waterboarded or the screams of the woman in their squad who had been captured by the instructors and thrown into a pit. The rest of the team had been forced to listen, hiding in the grass as the instructors poured buckets of water over her until she was treading to keep her head above water, yelling at her to give up the intel.

"How long is the deployment, sir?"

"The earliest refresher course is in Kittery, so you'll be headed to Maine in three weeks, then back here for a month of training before deploying. The mission length is unclear, but we expect to be on radio blackout for its entirety. Now, get the fuck out of my office."

"Yes, sir."

"Oh, and Hangman?" Jake paused with one foot out the door. "Keep your private life off the goddamn internet."

"Sir."

Julie's eyes were heavy as she stared at her computer, resisting the urge to drop her head into her hands. Rather than head into the bank, she'd called out of work. She knew it was putting her supervisor in a bind, especially since a lot of the parents were still out taking care of their kids who were out of school for the holiday. Still, she would sit at the counter covering for the tellers instead of processing loan applications in her office. Opening herself up for that amount of scrutiny was too much.

Not only that, but she was so tired. After Jake left and Lucy finally went home to her family, Julie crawled back into bed. She could still smell Jake in her sheets, and when it became overwhelming, she got up and stood outside of Daddy's bedroom. After Lucy had helped her clean it the first time after he died, she'd only gone in to dust and change the sheets occasionally over the last 11 months. Daddy's clothes were still hung in the closet and tucked into the drawers, his wallet and watch still on the dresser. After a long moment, she crossed the bedroom, running her fingers along the furniture before slipping into the bed like she had so many times as a little girl after waking from a bad dream.

But this time, Daddy wasn't there to hold her until she went back to sleep, banishing the monsters from her imagination. "I miss you," she'd whispered, resting her hand on his pillows.

Sighing, she pushed to her feet and went to refill her coffee. She was almost out of creamer and knew a trip to the grocery store needed to happen. While her appetite was nearly non-existent, she knew she needed to eat. Without a working oven, her options were limited. Ally offered to drive down to the store with her truck to pick up a new oven and Will and Mr. Seresin to install it, but Julie was reluctant to see the Seresins. She had yet to answer Jake's call that morning or respond to his text.

I love you so much, Cupcake. We'll get through this. I'll call you later.

It was still on her mental list of things to do, along with replying to people requesting to cancel their orders with her. While her first instinct was to agree and issue a full refund, Lucy had put her foot down on that and pointed out that they'd signed contracts that outlined penalties for cancelations - they would get partial refunds if anything. Settling back at the kitchen table, Julie clicked on her next order email and scanned it before deleting it. And the next. And the next.

The fourth email was an actual inquiry for cake pops. The person had included a note in the comments.

I hope you and Jake are happy. His video made it look like you guys are meant to be. I hope this all dies down soon. I've always wanted to try your stuff, and I figured now would be a good time. Thanks for being my comfort creator on here!

Tears pricked her eyes as she reread the note. When Jake had sent her the link to his video after he'd posted it, she'd been too numb to react. After showing what his apartment looked like after Shayla had destroyed it was bad enough, but he'd lost his temper and laid out exactly what happened. His work with the greenscreen was wonky, but he shared the screenshots where she'd admitted to lying about the baby. He'd talked about their relationship, how he was never comfortable with her filming, and her begging to continue. How she'd cheated, and they'd broken up before telling him she was pregnant, and he wanted to do the right thing.

He admitted to not being open about who Julie was to him when they went home but pushed back on the idea that his family was rude to Shayla. Instead, he told them how she'd posted the "pregnancy announcement" video before they could tell them the news and how she hadn't respected their privacy. He confirmed that he was the one in Julie's video - she could have kicked herself for not catching when his wrist had briefly appeared in the background as she piped out macaron shells and he grabbed a cupcake pan to put in more liners - and anger colored his words when he talked about Shayla destroying her work.

"I want to be clear," he'd said, staring directly at the camera. "That I kissed Ce… Julie that night. But that was as far as it went. And it was a mistake that we both regretted immediately because I was still engaged to Shayla at that point. But nothing. Else. Happened. I…” He looked away and cleared his throat. "I was ready to agree never to see Julie again if that would have made Shayla feel more secure in our marriage. But we never got to that because she left her computer open, and I saw the texts to her best friend. And I did yell at her. And took my ring back. I was only at Julie's house that night because I couldn't stand to be under the same roof as someone who tried to trap me into a marriage with blackmail. Julie was my friend that night, and I needed that."

"I won't apologize for not staying with someone who lies and manipulates and intentionally hurts my loved ones. And that's what Shayla did. She hurt people to get you to watch her videos and get brand deals and free shit. She doesn't care about you or me or anyone but herself. But I do owe an apology to my family for bringing her with me, making you uncomfortable, and not being the son you raised. And, of course, to Julie - who has been family since we were kids and I've been in love with almost that long. I'll never be able to make up for the hurt I've caused, not just over the last week. I wasn't always honest with you when you deserved that, and I put myself and my career before you. You didn't do anything to deserve all of this except be there for an idiot who is still in love with you and couldn't hide it well. And I'll spend every day trying to make it up to you if you let me. I've been bad at keeping promises, but I want to keep the one of being your first and last kiss, Cupcake."

"And to everyone else, please just… leave her alone. Julie's the most selfless person I've ever met and doesn't deserve this. Hate me, hate Shayla, but leave her out of it. She's a good person, and those are hard to find."

He looked so defeated, hair a mess from running his hands through it and the dark circles under his eyes again. From the extent of the damage, Julie knew he wouldn't have gotten much sleep last night, either. Unlike herself, he probably didn't take the easier route and call out of work rather than face real life. He was probably facing it head-on with that bullheaded stubbornness he'd been known for as a kid.

After typing a quick quote for the cake pops with multiple decorating options, including a short 'thank you for your support!', she clicked into the next email. She closed when she saw a request for a macaron cake that read 'Happy Homewreckers!'. Tears trickled down her face as she breathed like Jake had taught her. She could get through this.

Lunch was rough. Jake could feel eyes on him as he took his tray to their usual table, sitting with his back to the wall and forcing himself to meet the gaze of everyone who looked at him. A few had the decency to look away quickly, but others leaned toward their buddies and whispered.

The Daggers circled around him, providing their unspoken support. Still, he knew they had questions for him and were just waiting for some privacy to ask. But he could have put up with it if Cece had just responded to his text. She hadn't said a thing since he'd sent her the link to his video, and he was starting to regret doing it without talking to her first. It was his fault this was happening, and he wanted to protect her as much as possible - but he should have at least given her the option of not doing it.

And now… now he had to tell her that he was deploying. Again. The very thing that had ended their relationship all those years ago. This time, though, he was going to tell her. Jake had to show that he'd changed for her to trust him. But, fuck… the idea of going through SERE again and then a blackout mission? Not being able to contact Cece or Will, his parents? Possibly missing Tyler's birth?

Cyclone may have picked him because of his record, but it also felt like this was a punishment.

Julie pulled her daddy's baseball cap low on her brow, ducking her head as she walked into the grocery store. The cart rattled loudly as she hurried down the aisles, avoiding as many people as possible as she stocked up on snacks and anything she could make in the microwave.

For as fast as she moved, the whispers moved faster. Clinging to that numb feeling, she tried to block them out, not even wondering how the older Magnolia population would be aware of internet drama. She would put money on Betty Roberts having spread the news far and wide. All she needed to do was get her stuff and get home, where she could go back to bed and pretend that this was a bad dream.

"- showing her face after all that?"

"Did you see his, though?"

"We all know the Seresin boy's been known to tell tall tales. Besides, you know what those two are like - they've always been all over each other."

Cheeks blazing, Julie ignored the loud conversation from the aisle, recognizing the town gossip's voice. And sure, as teenagers, she and Jake hadn't been the most conservative about public affection. But Betty made it sound like they'd been groping each other in public. She hadn't even touched Jake in public in over seven years, and that had been down in Austin. Keeping space between them had been her goal since he'd come back home. Because Jake's touch, his kiss was… well, it made her lose her head. It made her want to do things like pack a bag and start driving out to California to escape the scrutiny of their small town. It made her want to hide in his bed, covers pulled over their head and his sleepy gaze holding hers until the rest of the world fell away. Until she forgot why the walls she'd built so high were needed. It made her want to ignore the fact that the man she loved had the power to hurt her as no one else did.

There was a loud scoff, and Julie pressed her lips together, eyes closing as she willed herself not to feel. Not to acknowledge the women turning on the aisle and staring at her, shopping baskets dangling from their arms. She felt their stares like cobwebs on her skin as they neared, their whispers like daggers in her heart.

And then one struck true. "Her parents would be so ashamed."

Tears gathered behind her eyelids at the cruel words, a contradiction of Daddy's letter in her purse. Slowly, she turned to face Betty and her friend Joanne, the second-biggest gossip in town. "Are your lives so small," Julie said softly as they stopped behind her, "that you have to make yourself feel bigger by talking about others?"

"Excuse me?" Betty demanded, recoiling slightly.

Tossing the bag of frozen corn into her cart, Julie turned fully to face the two, her tone flat as she spoke again. "Do you think that people actually like you? That they look forward to seeing you coming toward them, knowing that they have to watch every word, every action, every breath they take in front of you because if they don't toe the line of what you deem appropriate, you'll tell the whole town?" Joanne's mouth fell open as Betty flushed bright red, drawing herself up.

"Why, I never -"

"Shut the hell up. You never shut the hell up," Julie sighed. "You talk, and you whisper, and you judge, and you make people feel horrible for just living their fucking life. And for some reason, you think that people care what you think, but the truth is that we all think that you're a nosey bitch."

"Julie Ryan!" Betty sputtered. "I don't know WHAT's gotten into you, young lady, but -"

"I'm done." And then, without another word, she turned and walked out of the store, abandoning her cart and her last fuck.

Holy shit, word on the street is that Julie FINALLY stood up to Betty Roberts!

Jake stared down at the text from his sister-in-law as he sat in his truck after work. While Cece hadn't contacted him all day, apparently, she'd been out and about in Magnolia. He let his head fall back and sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face. He wanted to return home - not in his apartment but Texas. Because if Cece had finally said something, things would have been bad.

Jake, have you heard from Julie? I stopped by her house, but she wasn't there. I wanted to check on her after what happened at the store.

The text from Mama worried him. Turning the ignition, he waited until his phone connected to Bluetooth before calling Cece. As it rang, he let his head fall back on the rest, and his eyes closed, anticipating her voicemail again. When she said they needed space, she'd promised not to disappear on him again, but it was starting to feel like that's what was happening. After managing seven years without her, it had only taken one week for Jake to miss her as much as he had when she'd left him back in Virginia. And now… now he didn't know if he would survive losing her again.

"Hello?"

"Hey, babe." Just the sound of her voice had his muscles relaxing and a tired smile creeping onto his mouth. "You okay?"

"I'm…" There was a long pause, and Jake's grip on the steering wheel tightened when he heard a choked inhale. "I think I did something stupid?"

"What's wrong? What happened, honey?" Cece didn't say anything, but he heard her take a shuttering breath. "Cupcake, is this about the grocery store?"

Her laugh was watery and brittle. "Of course, you heard about that already."

"Only that you did what everyone should have done to Betty Roberts a long time ago, but not specifics." He heard her chuckle before gasping, and his heart broke at her sob. "Cece…" The only sound on the other side of the line was her crying, and Jake wanted to pull her into his arms so badly. Instead, he pinched the bridge of his nose and swallowed hard.

"I-I called her a n-nosey b-bitch." Jake snorted, which made her wail, "It's not funny, Jacob!"

"I'm sorry, honey," he laughed. "You're right, it's not funny. It's fuckin' hilarious and well-deserved. You're a goddamn hero for finally sayin' it to her face when everyone's been sayin' it behind her back for decades."

Cece sniffled, and his hand flexed around the wheel. "You… you don't think Mama and Daddy would be ashamed of me?"

Rage blinded him. "Did that bitch say that?" he demanded. When she hummed an affirmative, he slammed his fist onto the top of the steering wheel while cursing under his breath. "Honey," he said through clenched teeth, "you know that's not true, right? Your parents loved you and would never have been ashamed of you. Your daddy told me all the time how proud he was of you. And your Mama loved you so damn much that she probably would have told Betty off herself, just like she did that woman who said somethin' about the pie you submitted to the fair."

"What?" There was confusion in her voice, and Jake chuckled.

"You know - when you entered a kids' baking competition when we were eight or so for the summer fair. I heard one of the other girl's mom's makin' a comment about how your pie wasn't as pretty as her daughter's, and your Mama told her that it's a good thing that she wasn't picked as one of the judges because she wouldn't know a pretty pie if it was shoved in her face."

"My mama said that?" Cece asked, laughing wetly.

"Yup. That's why we spent so much time by the quilts that year - our mamas weren't quiet about how much they thought her submission wasn't up to snuff."

"I… I remember the quilt but didn't know about the pie."

"Your mama was proud of everything you did, Cece." When she was quiet, he sighed and started to pull his truck out of its spot. "What're you doin' tonight, honey?"

"Um… not much."

"Any chance you'd be willing to let me see your gorgeous face? I'm driving home now, but we could do a video call in about an hour."

“I… um…” The hesitation killed him, but then she spoke again. "I'm not sure what my internet situation will be tonight." That made him laugh.

"I know Magnolia's a bit behind the times, but the wifi wasn't bad."

"I'm not in Magnolia." Easing onto the road, he frowned.

"Did you go get your oven?" Her groan made him smile.

"No, but that probably would have been the smarter thing to do."

"Where'd you go?"

"Arizona."

"Ari -" Jake's foot slammed on the break before he blew a stop sign, and he stared down at his phone as though he could see her face. "What the hell are you doing in Arizona?"

"Well, I'm not there yet," she said after a beat. "I'm still in New Mexico, but close to the border, so I'll be there soon."

“Why…what the… Cece, why are you in New Mexico? Why are you going to Arizona?!"

Her nervous laugh was drowned out by someone hitting their horn, and Jake glanced in his rearview mirror before slowly moving forward. He tried to keep his attention on the road, but it was hard. "Did you know the Grand Canyon is only about 10 hours from Magnolia? And I've never been."

"The Grand… you're going to the Grand Canyon? In December?"

"Why not?" Her tone was defensive, and he knew he needed to tread carefully.

"It's not… the best time for sightseeing." His reasoning felt flimsy even to himself. "And what about work?"

"I need to concentrate on driving," Cece replied after a long pause.

"Baby -"

"I'll call you later when I stop for the night."

"At least tell me you're gonna get a hotel. I don't want you to sleep on the side of the road. I can get you one -"

"I can afford a fucking hotel, Jake!" Shocked at her outburst, he stayed silent, listening to her heavy breathing. "I'm not a child. I can take care of myself."

"I know that."

"Do you?" she hissed. "Or are you just like everyone else, thinkin' I've been waiting for you all this time? That poor, pathetic Julie Ryan always needs someone to look after her? That my whole world stopped the day I left Virginia, and I've just been waiting for you to come back to me? Do you know that everyone - EVERYONE - thinks that you left me? And I let them because you weren't there to defend yourself, and it was too hard to convince them otherwise?"

"Ce -"

"I didn't tell them that Golden Boy Seresin was a liar who couldn't even tell the woman he was supposed to marry that he was leaving AGAIN. That I had uprooted MY WHOLE LIFE for you, and you didn't even have the decency to tell me that you were leaving. You just let me look like an idiot in front of all the other spouses. Let me think that we were gonna have the wedding and start our lives together - all while you were keeping a huge secret from me." Jake's heart shattered when her voice cracked. Pulling to the side of the road, he slung an arm over the steering wheel and rested his forehead on it.

"Honey, I'm sor -"

"I protected you all this time. I put my dreams aside for yours and was okay with that. All I asked for was honesty, and you couldn't even give me that. And when I finally - FINALLY - had something that was mine and only mine, something that I loved and built and put in the hard work for… you ruined it, Jake. You took it from me." For a long time, there was only the sound of her panting breath over the line.

"I'm so sorry, Julie. I never meant to hurt you," he rasped.

"I know that, and that's the hardest thing about all this - you never had to try to hurt me. I just let you."

Tears dripped down his face as he listened to her cry. "I…I don't know…baby, I'm sorry. Tell me how to fix this, and I'll do it."

"I don't think you can. There's nothing… we've been moving toward this since we were 18, Jake. And maybe now it's time to just throw in the towel."

"No." Clearing his throat, he spoke firmly and sat up. "No, I'm not givin' up on us, Cece. I love you. You're the only woman I've ever loved, and I won't lose you again."

"You love who I was when we were teens. You don't know me now."

"Then let me. Come out here, and let's figure this out."

Her laugh was brittle, "That's the problem right there. You always ask me to do the hard thing without realizing it - I have to come to you. I can't have a career because yours is more important. I have to make myself small so you can be the big shot you always wanted to be."

"I… I can't get leave to come home, Cece. Please, you know I would if I could. But I -"

"I don't know you would. You've never had to make the sacrifices in our relationship." Her words were like a slap to the face.

"That's not true." That only made her laugh, and he felt a rush of anger. "You think I wanted to be away from you all the time? Is that what you think? When you said you thought you were pregnant, I was ready to give it all up - the Academy, flying, all of it. And you're saying I didn't make any sacrifices?"

He could feel the hurt across the open line and opened his mouth to apologize when she cut him off. "Well, it's a good thing I wasn't pregnant then or after we fucked at the bar, so you never had to decide between me or your dreams. Because, unlike you, I don't think I could have lived with ruining yours."

The call ended as Jake stared out the windshield, trying to comprehend what Cece said. Had she thought she was pregnant after they'd hooked up in Austin? Was that why she'd run away from him in the grocery store? Scrambling for his phone, he dialed her number, hanging up and calling again when it was sent to voicemail.

Just like his next ten calls.

Cold seeped into Julie's skin as she watched the sky turn indigo as the sun rose. Snow blew around her, and the news warned of a blizzard that day. The smart thing to do would be to head back into town and climb back into her hotel bed, but she couldn't tear her gaze away from the beautiful sight before her.

There was something so peaceful about sitting there, her racing thoughts finally silent. Tears pricked her eyes as the wind whipped her hair into her face. As the light started to kiss the canyon's rim, her eyes were drawn down into its depth. Snow dotted the upper rim, disappearing further down.

Gorgeous. And only a day's drive away from home.

The thought had her reaching into her pocket and retrieving her phone. Daddy's lawyer had sent her the bank account info for Mama's travel account. Ignoring the red bubbles alerting her to the missed calls and texts, she navigated to her email and clicked on the encrypted message. Cell service was spotty, but she memorized the login information.

Her finger hovered over the texts, curiosity warring with peace. She'd seen the preview of Jake's message as she lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. It had started with an apology, and it took everything in her not to apologize to him. She'd never meant for him to hear the arguments and thoughts she'd bottled up for years, but they'd spilled out at the first opportunity. Julie's resentment toward him had been overwhelming and now was tinged with regret for hurting him with the truth. But she'd carried that hurt in silence for so long. Everything about their relationship from the moment he was accepted into the Naval Academy had been about him. Hell, even their spring breaks in South Carolina had been to make his life easier - the times she'd asked to meet in Florida or for him to come to Texas, he'd pleaded for her to go to him. He was so tired between school and training, and he wouldn't have the summers to relax like she would. So, she went across the country every March to spend time with him instead of going on trips with her friends. He'd only met her college friends at graduation, while she'd spent a week with his every year.

Instead of looking at the texts, Julie took a picture of the sunrise and sent it to Lucy. When she'd called from the road to let her know that she was heading out of town, her best friend had been worried and made her promise to check in. The picture was slow to send in their text thread, and Julie took the opportunity to scroll through their messages. Pictures of her kids and husband were sprinkled throughout. There was a video of Joey asking for a monster truck birthday cake and Julie crouching next to Emma at her ballet recital.

Sniffling, she shoved the phone back into her pocket and stared at the sunrise, trying to force away her thoughts. But they raced in opposite directions - ten hours east to Magnolia and nine hours west to San Diego. If she was at home, she would be getting up soon and heading to work, or having breakfast with Ally. Out west, Jake was probably waking and getting ready to go to the base.

Her breath misted in the air when Julie sighed. The wind was picking up, and she knew she'd need to get back to town before the storm blew in, but it was hard to tear her gaze away from the canyon. A car door slammed, and she jumped, turning to see two people climbing out of their vehicle. They nodded, and she smiled back as they stood a bit further from her and looked at the sunrise.

When her fingers started losing their feeling, and the sky was a beautiful pink and orange, Julie returned to her car. As it heated, she took a deep breath and pulled up Jake's texts. They were full of apologies and pleas for her to answer the phone. He wanted to know if she'd thought she was pregnant after they'd seen one another in Austin. That made her cringe. She regretted telling him like that, especially after everything that happened with his ex. He promised to try harder if she would just pick up. He wanted to come home, but he was just told about a mission he was being sent on and wouldn't be able to.

I only have 3 weeks until I leave, and we won't be able to talk. Please, baby, don't let it end like this. I love you, and I know I haven't always been the best at showing it, but I want this to work.

A lump rose in her throat at the thought of him leaving again, and she paused before sending him the same picture she'd sent Lucy. We'll talk before you go, but I need space right now.

The technology gods were clearly on Jake's side because the message went through quickly and was marked as read almost immediately. Three dots appeared on the screen, and Julie bit her lip while watching them flicker. Finally, the message appeared. Beautiful, but not as beautiful as you. I love you, Cupcake.

After a moment, she typed back Love you too, Farm Boy.

Quickly closing the message, she pulled up the banking app and entered her Mama's travel account information. She hesitated before closing her eyes and hitting the login button. Slowly, after a few seconds, Julie peeked at the screen. The amount made her breath catch. Tears flooded her eyes as she stared at the number.

Fumbling for her purse, she grabbed Daddy’s letter, skimming the words until she found what she was looking for.

I put her life insurance payout there and have added a little every year. All you have to do is contact my lawyer, who'll give you the account numbers and start the transfer. I should have given it to you before, but… well, the reason always changed. But now that you have it, I want you to do whatever you want with that money. If you want to travel like your Mama wanted? Do it. You want to go back to school? Perfect. Start your bakery? You'll be so successful. Buy a house? I only ask that it's somewhere other than Magnolia. Sell the house and put the money toward your next dream.

Be selfish, baby. Treat yourself to whatever you want - as long as it's what you want.

Looking over the dashboard at the sunrise over the Grand Canyon, Julie started to cry at the memory of her Mama reading her books before bed, building worlds in her mind. Her daddy pinching pennies as she grew up and helping her bake late into the night. Lying in the back of Jake's truck and talking about all the places they would see when they were married.

The money wouldn't solve everything, but it was enough to give her space to breathe and figure out what she wanted to do. It, along with her moving fund, would give her what she needed most—time.

As she pulled out of the parking lot, she could almost hear Mama's voice. "You and me, baby girl, we're gonna see the world one day."

---------------------------------------

Author's Note: Soooo... thank you for you patience with me getting this out. I had some difficulty with this chapter, because I was struggling between going with my original ending and one that was less angsty. I went with the original (the other option was Cece driving to Jake's after because they didn't have a fight, and her meeting the Daggers). But Cece needed to finally let Jake know how she was feeling, and Betty may have been just the push she needed.

SERE training is no joke. I stole the story about the woman being thrown in the pit from my best friend's husband (former military intel guy), who still has issues with the smell of peppermint to this day because he hid in a patch of it while it was happening. They no longer waterboard soldiers, but that practice only stopped in the 2000s, I believe.

Also, the next chapter will be the last one in this series 🫣

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