#Jack's community is always scary to me but people are at least educated

[pyxscythe]

You talking about how welcomed you have felt with being a system in lincus community makes me tempted to do the front status thing but also slightly scared

LINC'S COMMUNITY IS INCREDIBLY EDUCATED AND WELCOMING!!!!! Ok to like elaborate on my experiences:

it's not even that much . But that also means it's nothing NEGATIVE.

All of my friends know I'm a system even if they don't always actively/consciously think about it or necessarily "have it in mind" and even if not everyone is super like in-depth educated on systems they're still VERY welcoming and accepting and no one is weird or ignorant abt it :]

Not everyone will use the name listed in front status, honestly for the most part whatever collective name is still used but SOME people will !! E.x. in Maddy's discord when it was Branzy fronting once she referred to him by name instead of Pierce (which was collective before Dirk was), we liked to push the fact that we didn't care if people just used our collective name and ESPECIALLY streamers because it's already hard enough to remember names sometimes

I mentioned it on twt alt ofc but Linc just swapped names even if we didn't signoff a name or anything in chat??? We just had the front listed as Branzy instead of Pierce on Twitter and discord and then in stream he said Branzy instead of Pierce, Jack actually also asked at one point to clarify if that meant Branzy was the preferred name to use at the time and we just said dw about it (he's not like As Knowledgeable on systems as the other 2)

As for the community in the discord again not everyone will use the front name but everyone will respect your identity as a system :] Maddy's server also has both pluralkit and tupper in it and a separate channel for system intros for those who want to use it, we don't use pk in her server because we've kinda built ourselves up as a collective identity and we can't be bothered in general (we would have to make alts lmao we don't like to rly openly be fictives in public spaces because like. The main fucking 3 fronters a lot of the time are literally introjects of the trio.)

One thing ppl who like follow our sys priv will know is we experience a lot of anxiety involving introjects:

It's not necessary. We just have it anyway. Realistically everyone is very accepting. Maddy laughs at our system jokes. She liked a joke our Maddy fictive made where she said something like "I'd want to be millkberry". I've in some way said on alt that I'm a k!lincu fictive. Pyro literally sent the navy seal copypasta to our Pyro fictive on Tumblr. We can make alter jokes to people and they won't think it's weird. Alicia literally makes me less anxious to be a fictive because she's so Normal about systems. There have been other systems in chat who have talked about their sysmates and no one has judged them for it. I've seen a couple sign off their messages in chat. There's plenty of systems around the ksmp community as well who list their front and no one is strange about it.

This general community is VERY accepting of systems 🙏 No one will judge you no one will be weird about it and if anyone was then literally EVERYONE would fucking jump that person. I would personally ensure they don't wake up the next day. (in a video game)

At the very least no one is judgemental. Even the people who don't really know anything about systems will be accepting. It's kind of a thing that you work yourself up over a lot then when you're outward about it it's really underwhelming and you're like well damn why was I worrying so much. But that's just life sometimes cause being a system is Scary but Linc Jack and Maddy's communities are very welcoming o7

I've like vaguely considered being more openly-a-system again!! But I'm still debating how much I care because really I'd just be putting a name or proxy in a displayname again and we have our front status in discord still so :pp We just wouldn't really be referred to in a system way and that's fine with us, basically it's like "This would do nothing so idk if I care" but also "This would do nothing and I dont mind that so I'm not nervous about doing it if I decide to" yk?

[ftm-radio]

Hey Jack, I’ve got an issue. I love my mom, and she tries to be progressive. She’s accepted me as bi but when I came out as trans she told me that I don’t need to label anything yet (I was 14 when I came out). We haven’t brought that up in a real conversation since. She’s also fallen down the JKR thought process and spouts some very common HRT and Trans misconceptions (like how HRT won’t change your muscle mass). I want to correct her and educate her but I’ve got intense anxiety about confronting people. I was thinking of texting her some links to HRT studies but I still live under her roof and we see each other often. Do you have any advice? (ps. I love your blog)

hey anon! sorry to hear about your issue. I can and will try to offer some advice, but please be aware that I don't know everything so my advice probably is far from perfect 😅

hoo boy okay I'm only partway thru & it's already long, so I'm putting it all under a cut. you're welcome, scrollers. ✌🏻

ok I've been thinking about & writing bits of this off and on through the day, so apologies if this is a little jumpy in places!

first off, regarding your anxiety — oh my god, do I understand where you're coming from. confrontation is so scary! and the idea of confronting someone you love is even scarier because it's more personal and it feels like there's way more at stake. but I think if you want to keep a close relationship with your mom it's important to face those fears eventually. otherwise, you'll just have this uncomfortable thing lurking overhead all the time, and it could sour the whole relationship.

now, if you want to try and explain everything and correct the misinformation, you don't necessarily have to do that face to face. especially if that would make you nervous and stutter and misspeak (like I do sometimes, rip). when I came out to my dad, I was terrified because he's an old cranky dude who's lowkey said some kinda bigoted things in the past, and I was terrified of how he might react when i tried telling him. so I wrote him a letter instead! I'm much better with writing than speaking, and I was able to get out all my thoughts and explain everything, including my fears of losing him and losing our relationship. and it worked. my dad and I are still as close as we've always been, maybe even a little closer now.

so I mean, the point of that ramble is that taking the conversation (or at least part of it) to a different platform (letter, email, text... hell even a powerpoint presentation could help if you're into that) is a perfectly valid and viable option.

another important thing is to definitely communicate what you're feeling. let your mom know how much you care about her, how the things she's saying about trans people hurt and upset you, even (maybe especially) how you're scared to have this conversation but that it's necessary and important for both of you that you do have it.

I dont think you should just text your mom some links and call it good (not that that is your plan, but idk I'm just sayin). to me, at least, that seems a bit cold and snide, like saying "you're dumb and wrong and here's the real facts" which could easily have the opposite results you want bc humans can be sensitive and defensive, especially since it's a parent being corrected by their child. I know I don't like being wrong and having to be corrected (though i appreciate it), bc it's embarrassing. I imagine being corrected by your child, the young person you're supposed to raise and teach, can be even more embarrassing & make you more prone to activate the no shut up I'm older and thus I must know better reaction.

obviously that doesn't mean "don't correct your mom ever." I just think that it would probably go better if you were gentle with it. especially because you've said that she tries to be open and progressive. that should be encouraged. and a lot of the misinformation and wrong ideas she has about hrt and trans folks probably isn't her fault—misinformation spreads so easy, especially when nasty people want it to—and they might be exaggerated by her own anxieties and fears for you, her kid. and I can't fault her for that.

and don't rush it! probably don't dump a bunch of articles and studies on her, because that sounds super overwhelming (unless she asks, I guess? idk ur mom) and don't start this conversation with her until you're ready and you know what you want to say, or at least most of it. and this doesn't have to be one giant convo to get it over and done with if you dont want to do it that way. you can start with just one part of it, and let it settle, and start the next part after you've both had time to sit and think about it.

if you aren't sure where to start this conversation, one place you could start is with the simple fact that there are people who purposefully and maliciously spread false information about trans folks to cause harm and create fear and confusion, and that they can be pretty good at it. especially when they are telling these things to people who don't know anything about the topic because they haven't had to know about it up to this point! i dont think its your mom's fault she's been given these ideas, and she shouldnt be made to feel too badly about it. cis and trans folks alike have been fooled by cleverly shared lies. and after you explain that, you can ask her if she'd be open to reading some of those studies and getting more reliable and accurate information, and hopefully the conversation can progress from there.

that's just an idea/suggestion though, obvs you do this however you wanna do it in whatever way feels best to you 👍🏻

I would very much like to think that if you can talk with her (or write to her, whatever) and really communicate, she'd be willing to listen and try to understand and learn.

on the flip side, though... if you try talking and she is totally unwilling to consider the fact that her info/what she's been told is incorrect, and she refuses to listen to you, I don't think there's much to be done.

as you said, you live under her roof and have to see her a lot, so I think for your sake it might be better to try and ignore it and just let it go for now. maybe you could try and broach the topic again in the future, but if she feels really strongly about it and there's absolutely no convincing her, avoiding the topic altogether might be better for you than arguing about it constantly.

and I really, truly hope it doesn't come to that but I had to acknowledge it for my own peace of mind. :/

[robert-c]

The ‘Culture War’

I am an early ‘Baby Boomer’, born late in 1947. I grew up in that fabled “utopia” of the 1950’s and came of age in the turbulent 1960’s. I was a sophomore in high school when JFK was assassinated and graduated college in the middle of a recession that preceded our final exit from Viet Nam.

Just the same, as most people, I have fond memories of those years when I was 18 to 25. It is that magical part of one’s life where we are at last old enough to pursue whatever dreams we want, and at the same time still young enough to imagine that we will actually achieve them.

It has long been an idea of mine that many conservatives are simply trying to preserve or restore the world they lived in at that time in their lives. Some perhaps are even trying to restore the world they believe their parents or grandparents lived in at that time in their lives, because they have heard so much about it. This is completely understandable. Unless your personal life is a complete tragedy in that period, those years will likely always hold a special appeal in your memories. It is a time in our lives when we are old enough to do pretty much anything and where we still have the energy and optimism to believe that we will achieve what we want.

However, I must be honest, and admit that while those were good years for me (a white male in America) those were far from ‘perfect’ times. Imagining that period as one in which “America Was Great” is at the least dishonest, and at the worst a betrayal of the greatest principles this country stands for. I now also believe a lot of conservative sentiment is simply fear of change.

I understand, change is fearful. Everything in our evolution, our history, tells us that the common and the familiar is the safest. And yet, it was fearful to leave the trees and survive on the plains, or if you prefer, it was fearful to leave the Garden of Eden. Yet, all of what we have become, all of what we are, is due to facing the fear of something new and moving forward in spite of it.

I remember that each day our first grade class began with the pledge of allegiance to the flag. Recall with me the last lines of that pledge…“with liberty and justice for all.” Now that was and is important, because I bought (and still do) the idea that this was the place where that was true, or at least where we sought to make it true.

A lot gets made of the “generation gap” of the late ‘60’s and early ‘70’s between my generation and my parents (the “greatest generation”). The Viet Nam War usually takes the “credit” for this gap, but my take on it is that the gap began when we realized that as a nation we weren’t living up to the creed our parents told us it stood for. That felt like betrayal, compounded by the fact that so many of our parents couldn’t see that underneath the unconventional clothes and hair, the principles we were espousing were essentially the ones they had taught us.

Nevertheless, change is difficult for people to accept. It is always easier to stick with the familiar, hence the old saying “better the Devil you know”. Not that any of this should be an excuse for not making things better, let alone for tolerating injustice. The core of the problem is rather than see ourselves as merely holding onto the familiar because the unfamiliar is scary, we make that fear about something else. “These changes will undermine the fabric of our society.” “It will lead to lawlessness and disintegration of the family.” And similar exaggerated and baseless claims. Few of us are going to admit to being tolerant of wrongs, so we tell ourselves stories to justify our feelings. “Those people are all criminals, you can’t trust them.” “They are inherently lazy, just doing the minimum to get by.” “They are all perverts and deviants.”

Sadly we have entered a period where too many do not trust facts, and look only for the “evidence” that supports our preconceived ideas. I believe it was George Bernard Shaw who said “for every problem there is a simple solution, and it is wrong.” This is where we have gone astray, we lazily latch on to simple, even simplistic, solutions and explanations, and then invest them with the absolutism of moral certainty so we don’t have to doubt or question ourselves again.

This thinking pervades everything from repeating the failed experiment of prohibition with drugs, to imagining that preventing women from having abortions will somehow make them financially and emotionally capable of being good mothers (up to and after the birth), to thinking that a wall is a solution to any real immigration problems.

Underneath it all, I think, is a simple fear that the world is changing and we don’t know what the new one will look like, or what place we can make for ourselves in it. This fear then gets covered by anger, because anger feels strong and invigorating, and fear feels helpless. Of course the anger has to find a target, a scapegoat, and these are always easy to find if you are looking for them. Then we justify the anger and the scapegoating with simple, “it stands to reason” sort of “made to order logic”.

It is the same fear of change that spurred many whites who weren’t ardent racists to support the separate lunch counters, restrooms, etc. Because there was simply no real reason to see harm in this sort of mixing, incredibly vicious lies had to be created – stories of diseases, uncleanliness etc. were common. No one could produce a single piece of proof that any of it was real or common, but it was a “safe” excuse for the anger that covered a simple fear that the world will be different than we were used to seeing. Typically these fears have to present themselves as if they are the ones being victimized unfairly, while in fact it is they themselves who will be the victimizers of others.

I remember a lot of negative comments when commercials and even some TV shows began to show attractive and educated black women. But those were important steps because it showed us that the stereotypes were wrong. Until I saw Nichelle Nichols portraying Lt Uhura on Star Trek I didn’t know that there were any black women who didn’t look like “Mammie” (from Gone With the Wind) or Aunt Jemima (the 1950’s version, not her updated image). That visual alone, helped undo a lot of the underpinnings of racist stereotypes and gave us a hint of a world that was more than just equal opportunities for all. We must first be able to imagine a different future before we can achieve it. Again as George Bernard Shaw said (and was quoted by both Jack and Robert Kennedy) “I dream things that never were; and I say ‘Why not?’”

If there is to be a single culture in the US it can only be one of inclusiveness and diversity or else we aren’t different or special, and certainly more likely than not to devolve into either neighborhood against neighborhood civil war or a tyranny of conformity. I know that sounds good to those who expect to be in the majority, in control; but I ask those people to be brutally honest and ask what if they weren’t the ones in control; now which culture do you want?

An official culture of “tolerance” and diversity doesn’t mean you personally have to agree with everyone’s point of view, only that you don’t get to punish them for it. But then that’s back to why some people’s insecurities make them feel threatened when others don’t agree with them.

I don’t have a “crystal ball”, I am not sure what the future holds. I don’t know what a multicultural, diverse America looks like at the end of the 21st century. Maybe it means a dual language world, maybe it means that there are as many stores selling cards and gifts for Eid Al-Adha as for Christmas or Easter. I don’t know, and I don’t care, because as long as one group does not have the power to force its beliefs on the rest, then America is what it always promised itself to be; a place …“with liberty and justice for all.”

I do know that when America works like it should we end up incorporating the good from other cultures into our own with our own flavor. This is true of food, traditions and celebrations. It’s why people with no Hispanic ancestry at all will celebrate Cinco de Mayo and those with no Irish background will celebrate St Patty’s Day with green beer. And when we give into the fear of change and demonize the new, we bring out our darkest and worst aspects – things we eventually (but not soon enough) recognize as shameful and unworthy of the lofty ideals on which this country was founded.

America is always at her best and greatest when we respect and embrace our different segments and work together. I always thought of it as true capstone to our way of life – a real life demonstration that all kinds of people with different beliefs could get along, be free and prosperous together. It made me think of us as an example to the world of a better way to live, to organize a society and government. I even thought that our diverse ethnic and cultural segments might give us some advantage in finding ways to communicate those values to other countries who have been plagued with religious or other internal strife. Look at those movies made during and immediately after the second world war; while they didn’t go far enough in showing diversity, you can see that they were showing a group of American fighting men from different ethnic and social backgrounds, all united in defending the American way of life, and against those who would impose a single vision of what it meant to be a worthwhile person.

Writing that all out now it almost seems naïve and idealistic, especially in a world filled with cynicism and hate, but I still believe it. I still think it is the only way out. Yes, we have never consistently or completely lived up to those ideals in the past. But that is no excuse for giving up on them altogether; especially when the alternative is so bleak.

Our nation’s founders set up a system where essentially rich, property owning men would be the most likely holders of public office; for Congress, the Supreme Court and the Presidency. They thought this system would prevent demagogues from preying upon the public’s irrational fears and biases. Right motive, wrong and ultimately unsuccessful methodology.

While I think our Founders could never have anticipated the America of today, I do think they understood and anticipated that the unfounded fears of a mob could be easily exploited by some for personal gain. Whether these “leaders” actually share the fears and concerns of their followers, or merely exploit them makes little difference, the damage they can do to the rule of law, to due process, and ultimately to liberty is immense.

My plea to my fellow countrymen is simple. Before this goes too far, let’s set aside our fears, and find the whole truth (not just the facts that support our fears) and see what will truly support freedom of belief and liberty for all. Let’s not forget that we are involved in an experiment that is still in progress. No where in the history of the world has there ever been a place that more fully embraced the ideal of “liberty and justice for all” than the United States of America. I would like to see us continue to be that unique example to the world for the future.

[ladyofpurple]

answer all of the questions!!

holy SHIT ok bless you omg

(sorry it's a full day late i took this shit SERIOUSLY. don't ask me how many hours this took, i was in A Mood™️ last night. removed the ones already answered xoxo)

angel; have you ever been in love?

yeah. didn't end too well, but i loved him.

petal; favorite novel and author?

this is like asking me to pick a favorite child. i guess favorite author would be stephen king, if only based entirely on the sheer quantity of his books i own alone. favorite book would probably be special topics in calamity physics by marisha pessl, and i'm only saying that because it's been my go-to response for years. i have lots of favorite books. ask me again in five minutes and i'll give you another one.

honey perfume; favorite perfume/scent?

freshly made coffee. lilacs. jasmine. cut grass. the ground after it rains. chocolate chip cookies in the oven. cigarette smoke on skin. my mom's shampoo. my grandma. my dog when he's just had a bath. thanksgiving dinner. acrylic paint on canvas. sawdust. that one cologne i can't name but can smell on a guy from a mile away. mulled cranberry and apple juice. vanilla. coconut. fresh laundry. peppermint.

sweet pea; what’s your zodiac?

virgo sun, pisces moon, scorpio rising ✨

softie; talk about your sexuality.

i'm biromantic asexual, primarily attracted to men more than women (but have had too many crushes on girls to consider myself het), generally sex repulsed when it comes to the thought of having it myself. i prefer to call myself queer in passing conversation, it's easier than explaining asexuality and the differences between sexual and romantic attraction. if someone asks more specifically, i'll usually just call myself bi for simplicity's sake, even though the ace part is a much more important (to me) part of my identity. monogamous as fuck.

i'm still struggling with internalized homophobia and a lot of "am i even queer enough" thoughts, which is super fun. took me a long time to even consider the fact that i might like girls at all. i'll probably never come out to my parents. not that they'd, like, disown me or whatever, but they're juuuuust homophobic/transphobic enough that my few attempts to educate them when they say something A Little Yikes have shown me that i should probably just stay in the closet unless i absolutely have to come out. like i'm getting married to a woman or something.

sugarplum; what’s the color of your eyes and hair?

i usually say my eyes are green because it's easier, and they mostly are, but i have rings of greyish blue around the irises and sometimes they're more hazel in the middle. they always have a green tint to them though, even if the intensity of the green varies.

my natural hair is brown, a little on the darker and slightly ashy side of completely generic. currently a former blonde, although i'm hoping to bleach my fucking YEAR of growout soon, and then go some crazy color as a last hurrah before i have to go dark again. being broke fucking sucks.

wings; coffee or tea?

tea!! black tea. chai, to be specific, with an irresponsible amount of milk and sugar. chai lattes are a fucking drug okay? coffee makes me sick (not a judgement, a literal fact. last time i tried some i threw up).

fairytale; are you a cat or dog person?

cat!! but my family has a chihuahua named sonny and you can pry that little monster from my cold dead hands ok i will fight you.

snowflake; favorite time period?

okay, i wrote and rewrote my answer to this about 10 times. then i tried to divide it up into categories (aesthetics, history, fashion, vibes, geographical location, etc), but that didn't help. so basically: i don't have one, because i have too many.

i like the american 20s-60s for the aesthetic, music/movies, and the fashion. i also like the european 1600s-1800s for the interesting history and also vibe. i love the french and russian revolutions — the fashion! the art! the wars and political upheaval! I FUCKING LOVE HISTORY. then, of course, we can't forget the rennaisance. or the witch trials (pick your continent). and ancient greece? the roman empire? hello?? did i mention empires? how bout we mosy on over to south america — can i interest you in the mayans? incans? aztecs? what about china and japan? korea? vietnam? and don't even get me fucking STARTED on the black plague.

ancient egypt? sign me the FUCK UP. vikings? yes please. the celts? oh boy. the MYTHOLOGY. the ARCHITECTURE. the LANGUAGES and POLITICS and LITERATURE and REVOLUTIONS and GOD HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE BETWEEN ANY OF THESE

i uh. might have gotten a little excited. basically i like history a lot. and mythology. and linguistics. and cultural practices. and the politics and prejudices behind wars and stuff. and learning in general. moving on.

vanilla; do you believe in ghosts?

let's put it this way: i don't not believe in ghosts??

listen. we don't know jack shit. we don't know what happens after we die, there are constant scientific revelations that turn our understanding of the universe completely upside-down, and there is literally no way to know which religions or myths or urban legends could have some grain of truth to them. like, dude, i've literally thought i was haunted before. psychology is bananas and the universe is infinite.

demons could be real. ghosts could be real. what if we just haven't invented the necessary technology to prove it yet? what if we never do, and they just fuck around alongside us, moving furniture and making shadow puppets on the walls just for kicks until the earth explodes? what if that one tumblr post was right and ghosts are actually real people from alternate universes or timelines that we see accidentally bc some cosmic wires got crossed? who fucking knows.

i love horror movies and scary stories and ghost hunter shows just as much as the next gal. but listen. psychics? mediums? people who accept every single creepypasta retold third-hand from their neighbor's kid's classmate's second cousin who "totally knows a guy"? doubt.jpeg

i don't understand the sheer amount of assumptions made willy-nilly about the nature of ghosts and demons and things that go bump in the night. the assumption that "oh this machine that totally doesn't look like a coathanger taped to a walkman will work because ghosts have this temperature and can always communicate like this and are electromagnetic" or whatever just baffles me. to a certain degree, following a general consensus is one thing — some basic things everyone can agree on? that's cool. ghosts can walk through walls and are probably dead people or whatever. but oh my god, taking every single story as absolute, undeniable proof?? taking these stories and expanding on them to infer intentions and scientific facts to something that by it's very nature is unknowable and assuming, like, every spirit is created equal?? and yeah, ghost hunting shows are fun and campy and kinda creepy but like. you really, genuinely don't think any of them have ever faked anything at all??? even if ghosts are real, it's fucking reality tv, my dude. it's the entertainment industry. at least maintain the slightest ounce of critical thought before taking zak bagans' word as the goddamn gospel.

and sidenote, maybe it's just my limited exposure as a white woman in the western world, but of all the shows and podcasts and movies and documentaries and whatnot i've been able to find and consume, there's the constant use of christian ideology applied to every situation that just really burns my bacon. what, there's never been an atheist ghost? if you see a shadow person and you don't know the lord's prayer by heart, are you automatically fucked? why are there never stories about, i don't know, viking ghosts? does your religion in life preclude you from becoming a ghost in the first place? is that why people never mention buddhist ghosts? i don't get it, and that's why even though i'm self-admittedly the most superstitious person i've ever met, true believers make me roll my eyes so hard they almost fall out. makes me come across as more skeptical than i theoretically am. I HAVE VERY STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT THIS OK

but like, you couldn't pay me to fuck with a ouija board. i'm not stupid.

delicate; diamonds or pearls?

both have their appeal and their place, but diamonds, i guess. i like the sparkle. but fake ones!! or synthetic. diamonds are overpriced and artificial scarcity is a scam and i don't need a dumb rock that some poor person in a mine somewhere was exploited and possibly died for. no blood diamonds in this house, thank you very much.

if i ever get engaged, i don't want a diamond ring. i'd want something cool, a little unusual, like a ruby or a sapphire or some other sparkly gem that isn't literally shoved in your face every waking moment as the expected standard symbol of True Love. they're cheaper, they're cool-looking, as a ring they still hold the cultural symbolism of an engagement/wedding ring. and honestly, as long as it's well-made and durable, whatever hypothetical gem it is doesn't have to be real either. i'm a woman of simple needs and demonstrably low standards. no point in going into debt for a fucking piece of jewelry, regardless of ~tradition~.

lavender dream; favorite album?

oh lord. welcome to the black parade, i guess. or anything by panic! at the disco. there are dozens of possible options — my interests are mercurial and my memory is garbage. but i'll always be an emo little shit. black parade and vices and virtues were also the first two albums i ever listened to where i loved every single song on them, and i happened to listen to them for the first time at around the same point in my life (i got into mcr super late. like, 2012 late. rip).

silky; what’s your biggest dream?

it's cheesy but i guess i just want stability and, by extension, happiness. emotional stability, mental stability, financial stability, stable living situation, stable routines, stable relationships... you get the idea. i have ambitions and passions, of course, but my ultimate goal is happiness at this point in my life, and i'm pretty sure stabilizing all those things would go a pretty long way in achieving that goal.

a little apartment with walls i can paint because white walls make me angry. bookshelves and posters and fandom merch on every wall. a computer i can actually play games on again, and somewhere i can paint and draw and record my podcasts. someone who loves me, maybe. a cat, if i'm stable enough. space for people to come visit me, and a place for them to sleep if they need. a tiny balcony, if i really want to shoot for the stars. a job i don't hate. the spoons to hang out with my friends, and the money to not worry about buying little presents for the people i care about sometimes. i don't need much.

strawberry kiss; do you have a crush right now?

nope.

glitter; favorite fictional character?

another loaded question. like books, if you ask me again in five minutes i'll probably give you a different answer. but in this particular moment, caleb and jester from critical role (please don't make me choose between them). i won't go full shipping mode rn, but jester is so funny and silly and sweet, so much more complex than she seems, and she tries so hard to make everyone happy even when she's so sad inside. the healer who treats healing as an inconvenience in battle (she's so fucking valid and also mood), the glue that keeps the party together. and caleb learning to trust again, facing his trauma and coming out of his shell. he loves his friends so much he plays wizard as a support class and i love him so much.

i love the mighty nein in general, of course, and all the guests/honorary members they've had. pumat!! pls don't be evil reani!! keg!! shakäste and grand duchess anastasia!! cali!! kiri!!!! the brotps! empire siblings! chaos crew! nott the best detective agency! i still love molly and all his assholery to bits (fight me), and mourn his lost potential. i adore yasha, even when she's gone; fjord has grown so much; beau and nott and caduceus — i love all their flaws and disagreements and their character arcs and the excitement of watching them grow and learn. but if i had to choose, caleb, jester and molly have always been my top 3 since day 1 and, well, molly isn't really an option anymore.

but like i said, ask me again in a minute. i have a fucking list.

swan; share a quote or passage that means something to you.

a collection of things off the top of my head:

Elinor agreed to it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition. — Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austen

a tired feminist Mood™️

"What I say is, a town isn't a town without a bookstore. It may call itself a town, but unless it's got a bookstore, it knows it's not foolin' a soul." — American Gods, Neil Gaiman

i got my love of books from my grandma — some of my favorites i got from her. sometimes, as a treat, she used to take my sister and i to bookstores and we'd stay there for ages, getting to pick one out, roaming the shelves, the mental torture of having to choose. the peace of being surrounded by thousands of potential worlds, so much information, so many stories just waiting to be told; being surrounded by strangers who share that same wonder. the anxious drive home so we could read them, being unable to wait that long so i inevitably start reading in the car and make myself sick. telling her in excited detail all my favorite parts. if we were lucky, maybe we got to split a bear claw, or she'd drive past starbucks and get us something there too (tall vanilla soy steamer with one pump of vanilla syrup, whipped cream on top that always melted too quickly and squirted out the hole in the lid, so hot it burned my tongue but so good i didn't care). i have never felt more at home than i do when i'm surrounded by books.

"There are a lot of different types of freedom. We talk about freedom the same way we talk about art, like it was a statement of quality rather than a description. “Art” doesn’t mean good or bad. Art just means art. It can be terrible and still be art. Freedom can be good or bad, too. There can be terrible freedom. You freed me, and I didn’t ask you to." — Alice Isn't Dead, season 1, chapter 2: Alice

as cringey as it is to admit it, this line made me cry a lot after my breakup.

"So you aren't American?" asked Shadow.

"Nobody's American," said Wednesday. "Not originally. That's my point." — American Gods, Neil Gaiman

[side-eyes white america real hard]

there's more, of course. there's always more. don't even get me started on song lyrics, we'll be here all day.

lace; what’s your favorite plant/flower?

lilacs and roses.

mermaid; do you prefer the forest or the ocean? why?

both, i guess. but in different ways, and in different circumstances.

the sea is wild. it is endless and deep and unknowable. it is beautiful and dangerous. i am terrified of the ocean, and yet my favorite place in the world is an empty beach on the oregon coast. i have picked sand from between my toes for days with hair crusted in salt, danced around bonfires and watched the stars while marshmallows burn, gotten pulled under the waves as a child and nearly swept out to sea. picked starfish and crabs from small pools in the rocks, and swum (accidentally) with wild sea lions. in a long skirt, too early in the year to be swimming, i once took off my shoes and waded fully clothed into the water to my waist and just... danced. splashed and kicked and laughed with a boy i barely knew until our throats were sore and our toes were numb, walking home hours later with our soaked clothes clinging to our legs, shoes squelching, dripping algae as we went. the ocean is freeing and overwhelming all at once. i love it and am petrified by it in equal measure.

the forest is beautiful in a different way. it is silent and dense and serene. you are surrounded by life and yet, somehow, completely alone. there is magic in the forest, and history, and even when all else dies, that will remain. the trees grow from the corpses of their ancestors, and some have lived dozens of our lifetimes — with luck, a few dozen more. it is quiet there, peaceful, even the tiniest wood in the middle of a city muffling the outside world through the trees. you can feel the ancient ways deep in your soul as you follow winding paths strewn with fallen leaves, the mystery and wonder and superstitions of your forefathers. you wonder what it would be like, to run your fingers over the moss, to take off your shoes and socks and just run, leaping and dancing over rocks and roots, hair wild and air filling your lungs in deep, pure gulps as you shed the responsibilities and struggles of modern life, for just a moment remembering what freedom tastes like. it is primal, this connection to nature, one we have nearly forgotten over time. and as the sky grows dark and the silence of night presses against you, shadows looming, every footfall deafening, perhaps you begin to understand why some believed in monsters.

honeymoon; do you keep a journal?

i used to. honestly, that's a good idea, i should start doing that again. lord knows i have enough empty journal-type books.

starlight; do you believe in love at first sight and soulmates? why/why not?

i want to. i want to believe there's someone out there for me, the love of my life, someone to whom i'll be the love of their life, and that when i meet them i'll just... know.

but when i met my ex, i didn't really look twice at him for a while — no love at first sight. and when we were together, when i loved him and he swore he loved me back, i thought he hung the stars in the sky and knew i would marry him someday. couldn't even consider the idea that that wouldn't happen. and then when he broke up with me, he ghosted me so suddenly and thoroughly that he even preemptively cut contact with every single one of our mutual friends he thought might side with me in the breakup, before anybody even knew we'd had a fight. so, not soulmates either.

i really want to believe that someday the perfect romance will just fall into place and i can have the happily ever after i've always dreamed of. but the reality is i might never even have another s.o. for the rest of my life. maybe i'll get hit by a car tomorrow, or my hypothetical soulmate moves to argentina to become an alpaca farmer on a mountain somewhere and we never even meet. maybe i'm so traumatized by the betrayal and lies that i'll never have the courage to even try again.

and even so, happily ever after doesn't have to include a fairytale romance, regardless of whether i want it or not. i still like to cling to that hope though, deep down.

princess; what do you value most in people?

i'm going to assume you mean "real people" as in people i have positive relationships with, and not random strangers on the street.

loyalty. kindness. support. humor. similar values. patience. being able to grow together and teach each other things, so we can make each other better. honesty. trust. compassion. confidence. emotional vulnerability. communication. intelligence, or at least a willingness to learn. strength.

[arcane-hobo]

Vivian BlackBriar

(No images belong to me)

Verse: Dungeons & Dragons Date: May 14, 2019

Full Name: Lady Vivian Feywin BlackBriar  Pronunciation: (VIV-AN) (FAY-WIN) (BLACK-BRI-AIR) Nickname/Alias: Viv Title: Lady Pet Name: None

Gender: Female Gender Role: Female Orientation: Pansexual Real Age: 120 Age Appearance: 25-30 Birthplace: The Roaring Coast  Zodiac Sign:  Libra

Immediate Family: Castian BlackBriar, The Bloody Matron (Mother)  Distant Family: none Parenting: Partially raised by the Bloody Matron until she couldn’t care for her, partially raised in an orphanage, raised in adulthood to Gerralt and Maram Reid Upbringing: Strict upbringing Childhood: This character had no childhood.  Adolescence: Abused by the Matron, Abused by the orphan caretakers  Adulthood: Cared for by Gerralt and Maram, strict upbringing Coming of Age: Proper

Species: Half elven Banshee Preferred Hand: Ambidextrous Facial Type: triangular Eye Color: Blue/white Hair Color: Dark brown/white streaks Hairstyle: long/curly Skin Tone: light  Complexion: fair Makeup: eyes, lips, cheeks Body Type: tall/thin Height: 5′10 Weight: 140 Cup Size: B Facial Hair: None Birthmarks/scars: Scars on wrists from shakles Distinguishing Features: Fae like features  Health: Healthy Energy: high energy Memory: Keen Senses: Keen senses, specifically hearing Allergies: none Handicaps: none Phobias: Enclosed spaces Addictions: none Mental Disorders: None

Mode of Dress: Light rogue armor/ dresses  Grooming: groomed Posture: proper Habits and Mannerisms: proper Scent: Myrrth Resin/ leaves

Mood: relaxed Attitude: calm Stability: Stable When Happy: Smiling When Depressed: Secluded When Angry: destructive

Current Residence: Reid family castle Community: Residence of the castle Family: Gerralt and Maram, Lucian when he is home Friends: Lucian, JACK OF THE GREENS (big ol’ pumpkin man) Enemies: Anyone who makes themselves out to be one Bosses: Gerralt or Maram Followers: none Heroes: none Rivals: The empire Relates to: none Pets/Familiars: None

Wardrobe: (See above picture) Trinkets: None Funds: Supported by Maram and Gerralt Home:

Neighborhood: non-existent Transportation: none Collections: Books, oddities Most valuable possession: Music box from Castian made of gold and sapphire Prized Possession: The adoption papers

Lovers: None Marital Status: Single Sex Life: non-existent  Type: never really looked Turn-Ons: intelligence  Turn Offs: Mentions of abuse, distain toward banshee kind, or orphans Position: never tried Plays: never tried Fetishes: none Virginity: Still a virgin Element: earth

Occupation: Home protector Work Ethnic: Prefers to work alone Rank: Witch Income: 1000 gold or above Wealth Status: Wealthy Organizations/Affiliations: none

IQ: Education: Very Educated School: home schooled Special Education: self educated witch Social Stereotype: strange Extracurricular Activities: reading

Religion: none Crime Record: thievery  Motivation: none Priorities: learning the next spell Philosophy: Live for today Political Party: Anti-empire Etiquette: polite  Superstitions: Many

Main Goal: become knowledgeable to everything. Minor Goals/Ambitions: finding her father and her mother Career: witch Desires: Adventure to distant lands Wishlist: supplies for spells Accomplishments: Created a frostbite potion for her people Greatest Achievement: Achieving the desentigration spell Biggest Failure: Killing many people from her uncontrollable self. Secrets: none Regrets: none Worries: Killing more Best Dream: none Worst Nightmare: none Best Memories: none Worst Memories: none

Hobbies/Interests: reading Skills/Talents: Highly skilled in the arcane Likes: wine, music, solitude  Dislikes: Bandits, slavers, rude people Sense of Humor: playful Pet Peeves: none at the moment Superstitions/Beliefs: Many Savvy: Bilingual  Can’t understand: - Closet Hobby: Sewing Guilty Pleasure: Sweets

Strengths: her knowledge  Flaws: uncontrollable power Soft Spot: Jack of the greens Cruel Streak: 3 Banshee wails, all 10 man KO’s

Powers/Abilities: Many Weaknesses: fear Immunities: poison and necrotic damage Restrictions: none

Favorite Colors: Purple, blue, green Favorite Animals: Wolves Favorite Mythological Creatures: Banshees Favorite Places: The mountain Favorite Landmarks: none Favorite Flavors: wine, meats Favorite Foods: steak Favorite Drinks: mead Favorite Characters: none Favorite Genre: romance, adventure Favorite Books: - MANY Favorite Games: none Favorite Shows: none  Favorite Music: any Favorite Bands:any Favorite Songs:any Favorite Sports:any Favorite Stores: any Favorite Subjects: Arcane spell work Favorite Numbers: none Favorite Websites: none Favorite Words: none Favorite Quotations: none

Least Favorite Colors: pink Least Favorite Animals: Bears Least Favorite Mythological Creatures: none Least Favorite Places: the kingdom Least Favorite landmark: none Least Favorite Flavors: none Least Favorite Foods: none Least Favorite Drinks: none Least Favorite Characters: none Least Favorite Genre: none Least Favorite Books:none Least Favorite Movies:  none Least Favorite Games:none Least Favorite Shows:none Least Favorite Music: none Least Favorite Bands:none Least Favorite Songs:none Least Favorite Sports: none Least Favorite Stores:none Least Favorite Subjects: math Least Favorite Numbers:all of them Least Favorite Websites: none Least Favorite Words: none Least Favorite Quotations: none

Languages: Celestial, Common, elven, sylvan, ect  Accent: none Voice: polite and soft Speech Impediments: stutter when taken off guard Greetings and Farewells: “Hey”, “Good to see you again”, “See you soon” State of Mind: everyone cant be trusted

Reputation: Killer First Impressions: creepy looking Stranger Impressions: scary at first Friendly Impressions: soft spoken Enemy Impressions: Ruthless Familiar Impressions: none Self-Impression: self hatred

MBTI Personality Type:  The Mastermind – INTJ PersonalityINTJs, as introverts, are quiet, reserved, and comfortable being alone. They are usually self-sufficient and would rather work alone than in a group. Socializing drains an introvert’s energy, causing them to need to recharge. INTJs are interested in ideas and theories. When observing the world they are always questioning why things happen the way they do. They excel at developing plans and strategies, and don’t like uncertainty. Enneagram: The Mastermind Persona/Mask: Reserved and quiet Alignment: Chaotic neutral Symbol: Pumpkin head Song: Here we go!  Vice: Wrath Virtue: Patience and humility One Word: patience 

[ellenlucasonlinedatingblog]

A Quick and Easy Guide to Queer and Trans Identities is THE DREAMIEST.

We got our collective, grabby little hands on a copy of Mady G. and J.R. Zuckerberg's A Quick and Easy Guide to Queer and Trans Identities a couple weeks ago and we're in luuuuurrrve.

It just came out this week, so we're here to tell you that we think you -- especially if there are some young people in your life you can share it with -- should get your hands on a copy, too.

What is it?  This 100+ page book is a trippy, cuddly and affirming comic adventure that very warmly, gently and with great joy leads the reader through a wide range of identities and some parts of life that are often about or involve them, like intimate relationships, dysphoria, coming out, making decisions about gender expression and our bodies, including medical decisions, finding -- and feeling without -- community and support. It's something that takes some subjects that can be really scary for people, especially for many queer and trans young people, and that I think could help turn a lot of that fear or dread into understanding, acceptance and happy celebration.

It's amazing and wonderful and just the very sweetest thing, is what it is.

I think it's going to be a goodie for just about everyone: whether you don't know jack about any of this, or whether all of this is very much about you and you know a lot from lived experience, a million awesome queer or trans history internet rabbit holes, and other ways of learning. This is potentially for you if you feel pretty comfortable, perhaps even deeply at home, with these arenas and ways of being, or if you are feeling intimidated, lost and uncomfortable (the sheer delight in all of this will help, I promise). For those who don't yet or currently have any queer, asexual, trans, genderqueer or nonbinary community, this can provide some of that feeling.  I think this book would be a great choice for teen readers, including young teens.

There are talking snails! There are Sproutlings (you'll see)! There's even a Julia Serano cameo! There's some dorktastically cool extras in the back. There are soft and lovely colors and beautiful patterns. There are excellent definitions and descriptions and talk-throughs and other helps for understanding concepts that can really get people twisted sometimes.

There's oodles of mad affirmation, bigging up and support. This is a comic full of wisdom, full of whimsy, and really, really full of love. I'm completely over the moon for it. It's my new most favorite thing.

Here's what some of the rest of our team had to say about it:

Al:

I really, really loved this. I loved how in-depth it went into things that I tend to see covered a lot less (asexuality, dysphoria, the challenges of coming out). I really liked the Sproutlings, especially in light of their creator's comments about imagining an idyllic world that truly does allow for infinite diversity where the rules aren't quite so strict and the answer is almost always "Sounds good! Thank you for telling me! I love and accept you!"

Also, I lightly wept when I read the nonbinary-alien part: I can't tell you how many times I've felt like an alien in my own skin. I refer to myself as a frog a lot precisely because of how the things that make me feel different from the people around me (read: brown, fat, hairy, genderqueer and generally odd) might feel more okay if I was amphibious. And I'm at least a few years older than the average "queer youth," so I can say that I've 100% experienced that feeling, and that it's spot on.

Mo:

I am really impressed at how it manages to present concepts in a pretty nuanced way without feeling too heavy or overwhelming for people who may be unfamiliar with what's being discussed. The art is fun and cute without feeling *cutesy* and has a great energy to it; there's such a great loving and celebratory vibe through the entire book. I think this will be a really helpful resource for people who are questioning or just starting to explore their queer identities and for allies who want to educate themselves; this is absolutely the sort of thing I wish I'd had oh...17 years ago when I was first starting to understand my own queerness and had a lot of questions and not many places to turn for answers.

Jacob:

This is so beautiful!!!

Sam:

I love how casual the identity sections are. They do a great job of hitting all the key points without feeling preachy. Also, the reaction the snails have to seeing all the queer humans for the first time is not unlike how I felt the first time I went to a Pride event, and I love seeing that idea that the diversity of queer presentations is something worthy of joy and wonder.

The relationship section is really strong. I could see it becoming something educators use. The prose and drawings communicate the realities of healthy and unhealthy relationships in a way that's going to be accessible to a lot of people.

That link way up top to Simon and Schuster's page for this book has a handful of links to places where you can buy it. We also want to make sure you don't forget you can get it at our favorite local feminist bookstore (the endlessly amazing and resilient Women and Children First), too!

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