#JEGUS DICK BYE

[unicorn-poop]

Troll Rose and the Rule 63 Trolls (School)

(Anyone know the source? I found this on the internet. Anyways here’s what the 12 beauties look like (Only because I like this one the best). 

THE CONDESCE: YOU ALL AR--E GOING TO GO TO SCHOOL W)(--ETH--ER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!

KARKAT: BUT MOM I DON’T WANT TO GO TO A PLACE FILLED WITH ANNOYING UGLY ASS HUMANS! EW!

SOLLUX: yeah ii don’t thiink thiis school would be a very good iidea...

THE CONDESCE: W)(AL--E YOU ALL N--E--ED FRO--ENDS! 

ARADIA: i have friends! i am friends with the spirits of the dead

THE CONDESCE: Friends that are not dead...

ARADIA: awwww....

THE CONDESCE: Anyways you all will actually end up sucessful and not losers w)(o will still live wit)( mommy....Now bye!

(Kicks the trolls out)

KARKAT: FUUUUUUUUUCK!

(The trolls end up walking. They past a McDonalds on their way to school)

TAVROS: uHH KARKAT CAN WE GET SOMETHING FROM MCDONALDS, i AM STARVING

KARKAT: I DON’T FUCKING NO! WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME? ASK ARADIA! HE IS THE LEADER HERE! HIS SIGN IS AT THE BEGINING OF THE ZODIAC FOR FUCKS SAKE!

TAVROS: aRADIA...

ARADIA: no. that place is just the saddest place on earth. burger queen is much better tavros

VRISKA: No it ain’t! They suck ass! 

TEREZI: YOU 4R3 ONLY S4Y1NG TH4T B3C4US3 TH4T WHOPP3R G4V3 YOU TH3 SH1TS!

FEFERI: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

VRISKA: Shut up terezi! Not funny fish 8oy!

(The trolls make it to school)

NEPETA: :33 oh cool! there’s animals?!

KARKAT: THOSE ARE FREAKS! I THINK THEY’RE CALLED FURRIES! WHO KNEW THIS SCHOOL WOULD HAVE FUCKING FURRIES HERE!

NEPETA: :33 aww yesssss! time to make some furiends

TEREZI: 3V3RYONE SM3LLS!

STUDENT 1: Hey freaks

ERIDAN: excuse me? wwe aren’t the freaks here!

GAMZEE: hEy BrUh WhY yOu GoTta Be MeAn To My FrIeNdS?

Equius gets up at Student 1 face. the kid pisses himself

EQUIUS: D--> listen you disgrace you will leave me and my friends alone! we are not the freaks here! we got noble blood that is higher than yours. you should listen to us because we rule the school. now get lost (Cracks Knuckles). 

Student 1 runs away

EQUIUS: D--> a waste of our time

SOLLUX: thanks eq

KANAYA: Did He Just Soil Himself?

KARKAT: HA! YEAH EQUIUS SURE SCARED THE PISS OUT OF THAT DWEEB!

(Suddenly Jade harley walks past)

JADE: hi guys :)

(All of the trolls stare in aw. Yes Jade is still a girl And a human in this AU). 

ARADIA: oh wow she is so pretty. she makes me feel more  alive than i already am

TAVROS: wOW SHE IS SO PRETTY!

SOLLUX: ii thiink ii have a thiing for human female2 wiith long black haiir. 

KARKAT: HOLY FUCK! 

NEPETA: :33 she is so puritty!

KANAYA: My What Lovely Clothing She Has

TEREZI: HOLY SH1T! 

VRISKA: That ass ;:::)

EQUIUS: D--> Oh my! I need a towel

GAMZEE: sEe GuYs MiRaClEs Do ExIsT

ERIDAN: looks like this vviolet gal here is getting a human girl in her red quadrant today

FEFERI: GLUB GLUB!

The trolls then all look at eachother

KARKAT: FUCK ALL OF YOU! SHE IS MINE! OUT OF ALL OF YOU I DESERVE A GIRLFRIEND!

TAVROS: nO WAY MAN, i DESERVE HER, WE LITERALLY WOULD BE THE BEST COUPLE IN THIS SCHOOL, bESIDES YOU’RE TOO LOUD!

SOLLUX: ii am 2mart! ii thiink ii de2erve her more than the 2 of you.

EQUIUS: D--> no way. i have higher blood than the three of you. who wouldn’t like a lovely bl00 lady like me? she will be mine! understood lowbloods?

ERIDAN: i am prettier than the 4 of you so she’ll be in my red quadrant. it’s the truth i don’t make the rules!

GAMZEE: HONK!

NEPETA: :33 oh wow the girls are fighting ofur her. 

KANAYA: I Don’t Blame Them

VRISKA: Ha! Well she is mine. The rest of you can just find someone else. Look fussyfangs (Points at Dave) I think that man over there would be a gr8 man for you! You should go talk to him. 

KANAYA: No. He Seems Like A Asshole I Think You Should Date Him.

VRISKA: Nah. He’s uglyyyyyyy!

NEPETA: :33 i think he means black dating

VRISKA: Sure but right now that raven haired human girl is going in my red quadrant. 

KANAYA: No She Is Not Why Would She Want To date You?

VRISKA: Because I am a hot mother fucker!

FEFERI: )(a! Sea t)(ese muscles gentlemen. T)(e human is going to be mine

VRISKA: You’re a dick! Why would she want to 8e with you?!

FEFERI: My blood colour you ass! Also t)(e very fact that I )(ave )(igher blood t)(an all of you so )(A! 

TEREZI: SUCK 1T! NOBODY W4NTS SOMEBODY WHO SM3LLS L1K3 F1SH!

FEFERI: (pulls out Trident) T)(AT’S IT!

Kanaya pulls out his chainsaw.

KANAYA: WILL YOU ALL JUST STOP! Why Are You All fighting For A Girl We Don’t Even Know?

KARKAT: BECAUSE.....

(Suddenly dave strider passes)

DAVE: Sup grey humans. Nice candy corn horns. 

ARADIA:.......our horns aren’t candy buddy

DAVE: Hey there beautiful (Looking at karkat)

KARKAT: (BLUSHES)

KANAYA: Jesus He Seems Like A Asshole

VRISKA: 8ut fussyfangs he’d 8e the perfect guy for you.

EQUIUS: D--> Let’s get to class

(In Fourth Period)

TEACHER: So class today we will be learning about geometry. Now turn to page 69 in your text books

(The whole class heavily sighs)

All the trolls couldn’t stop thinking about Jade. 11 of them wanted her in their red quadrant. You can guess who doesn't. He just wanted to be her morail. 

JOHN: hi. 

KANAYA: Hello Human 

JOHN: you’re really handsome. 

KANAYA: Thank You Now Could You Tell Me About This Human That Has Green Eyes And Long Black hair

JOHN: oh, that’s my sister jade harley! have you met her yet? she’s awesome isn’t she?

KANAYA: My Friends Are Obsessed With Her

JOHN: oh really? well she is really pretty and a very friendly person so it’s understandable. 

VRISKA: Hey Fussyfangs! Why are you talking to that loser?

JOHN: I am not a loser!

VRISKA: so this jade human is related you you, huh? So 8uddy can you tell me how to get her in my red quadrant? 

JOHN: red quadrant? 

VRISKA: How can I make her my girlfriend? Jegus you humans are stupiiiiid!

JOHN: join the football team! seems something you’d be good at as well as your shirtless friend. in fact why don’t you have half of your friends join the cheerleading squad and half join the football team. 

VRISKA: Thank you weirdo

JOHN: it is john, MY NAME IS JOHN! 

(Later on at Lunch)

VRISKA: Ok guys so this John human says to get the girl of our dreams is to choin football and cheerleading. 

TEREZI: WH4T 4BOUT 4RT CLUB? 

KANAYA: Terezi You Would Just Get Kicked Out For Eating All The Crayons And Chalk

TEREZI: H3H3H3H3 TH3 ONLY R34SON 1 W4NT3D TO JO1N!

TAVROS: sO WHO IS JOINING WHICH SPORT

VRISKA: You can just join cheerleading! You’d suck and get crushed in football.

TAVROS: eXCUSE ME? 

SOLLUX: ii thiink ii’ll joiin cheerleading. that 2ound2 fun. 

KARKAT: I THINK I’LL JOIN TOO! TIME TO SHOW OFF MY AWESOME SKILLS

GAMZEE: i’M wItH yOu Sis

ERIDAN: all the girls wwill be jealous of me!

EQUIUS: D--> i will join football so i can crush all the dumb peasant males on there

FEFERI: Right! Me and you Equius! Going to crush all t)(e losers on there! 

NEPETA: :33 i’ll join ch33rleading. it s33ms fun. 

ARADIA: i’m going to use my ghost powers. 

VRISKA: You ass! That’d 8e cheating! 

ARADIA: yeah and i don;t care. stay mad blue blooded scum!

VRISKA: >::::(

TEREZI: W1SH 1 COULD JO1N 4RT CLUB! 

(Johm comes up to their table)

EQUIUS: D--> no humans aloud

VRISKA: There’s my man 

KANAYA: You Are Dating? 

VRISKA: Nah, I don;t date nerds 

JOHN: so are you guys doing the cheerleading and  football? 

KANAYA: Apparently. 

JOHN: any of you also want to join LGBT+ Club?

TEREZI: WH4T 1S TH4T?

JOHN: For Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Queer, Allies and others. 

ARADIA: we wouldn’t mind joining. after all we are all bisexual since we trolls are all bisexual. 

KARKAT: PANSEXUAL!

ARADIA: whatever. 

KANAYA: I Prefer Males In My Red Quadrant. 

JOHN: cool. you’re gay and that is fine. we meet on wednesdays. oh and dave is going to be there

(John Leaves)

VRISKA: Kaaaaaaaanaaaaaaaayaaaaaaa :))))))))

KANAYA: No

(So later on the 6 try out for cheerleadong and the other 6 tryout for football. Surprisingly they all make their respective teams)

To be continued. See next time how The 11 trolls try so hard to get Jade in their quadrant. 

[well-fruk-you-too]

120% DONE D'X