#JANEWAY WOULD GET HOISTED

[maliciousalice]

[divinemissem13]

🚨 Crackfic sequel alert!

Ok, to be upfront with you, this one is a lot less crackfic than the first one that I wrote over the summer was. But it is a sequel, and there is still lots of dubious science. And J/C. And babies.

It's way too long for tumblr, but there's an excerpt under the cut and you can read the first chapter here: Resolutions? More like revelations!

Also, if you'd like to see where the insanity began, that can be found here: Elogium? I hardly knew 'em!

Kathryn Janeway could not get out of bed. 

Physically. Could not sit up. Could not even roll over to her side and push off the bed that way, as had become her custom in the last few weeks. The weight of her enormous belly had her pinned on her back like a turtle.

Not for the first time, she found herself wishing that the Doctor had sent down some sort of antigravity device for her. Instead, she called for the next best thing.

“Chakotay! I need you!”

A clatter from the kitchen of their little shelter told Kathryn that he had either been startled by her voice or immediately started to panic—possibly both. Within seconds he was kneeling next to her bed, his hands hovering over her distended belly as if he were afraid to touch her. 

“Is it time?” he wheezed, eliciting an eye roll from Kathryn. He really had been so wonderful throughout this whole ordeal, but she was currently too uncomfortable to care.

She swatted his hands away and grumbled, “If only... Chakotay, I need help getting up.”

“Oh,” Chakotay replied sheepishly, rising to his feet. “See? This is why we need a code word…” 

“Just help me up, would you? I need the bathroom.” 

As Chakotay leaned over to maneuver his arm around her back, Kathryn contemplated just how far she’d fallen in the past nine months. From captain of a starship, boldly leading her intrepid crew through unknown space… to civilian woman, heavily pregnant and stranded on a previously uninhabited planet, discussing her bathroom habits with her former first officer. Of course, if she had to choose one member of her crew to get stuck with for the rest of their lives, it would be Chakotay. 

“Ok, ready?” his voice pulled her out of her thoughts. She nodded and reached both arms around his neck while he counted “One, two, three .” With the last word, he hoisted her up to a sitting position and then let her use him for leverage as she twisted around and finally set her feet on the floor. Still supporting her back, he stood and because of her grip on his neck, she had no choice but to stand with him. The shift in weight knocked Chakotay back a few steps, but the room wasn’t particularly spacious so he was able to lean against the wall before they both ended up on the floor.

Once they were no longer in danger of toppling over, Kathryn let her forehead drop to lean on his chest, panting from the exertion. Chakotay rubbed soothing circles on her back and waited patiently for her to make her next move. Finally she raised her head and let her hands slide down to rest on his chest. “Well,” she huffed with a self-deprecating smile, “I think that’s enough for today. I’m ready to go back to sleep.”

Chakotay bit his lip to hide his amusement, but his dimples appeared anyway. God, she loved his dimples. She patted him on the cheek and then finally separated from him. “Right. Bathroom.” She began to waddle away but turned over her shoulder to wink at him and add “then breakfast in bed?”

She didn’t wait for an answer, resuming her somewhat wobbly path to the bathroom, but Chakotay called after her, “You’ll eat at the table because I’m not helping you out of that bed again today!”

“We’ll see about that…” Kathryn responded cheekily as the bathroom door closed behind her. Keep reading!

[secretvixen83]

The Nicrean

Dust swirled in the air as the smell of fire wafted from what seemed like everywhere. In the middle of it all stood Anaris. Her five-foot four-inch frame seeming tall against the decimation around her. The place she stood used to be a capitol city and was normally teeming with busy people. That was no longer the case. The buildings lay in ruin, the once marvelous cobblestone streets were destroyed, and even the sun seemed dimmer. As she looked around her, Ana felt lost and hopeless. This was her home, and now there was nothing left. She was shocked out of her reverie by a massive explosion a few blocks away. Over her right shoulder, she saw a new onyx colored plume of smoke rising through the sparse cropping of trees that were left. Her heart sank as she smelled the fresh fire that had erupted. The Arconis had probably just destroyed the last hope of saving Nicrea.

           There were no longer any civilians left on the surface of Nicrea. The only ones left were Anaris, and the military. They had issued the evacuation notices five sunrises ago and had been able to hold the Arconis off until now, when the reinforcements came. Anaris’ deep blue eyes scanned the skyline looking for any sign that the Arconis were heading for her. She then shifted her gaze to the spaces where buildings, homes, and trees once stood. Nothing in their places was a good thing and a bad thing. Either way, Ana knew she wasn’t getting out of this alive. The question she asked herself was, My way, or theirs? She knew if the Arconis caught her, they would torture her and kill her.

           With a shudder, and fear and resignation in her soul, she turned to look at the violet waters of the Nicrean Sea. The beach between her and the water held so many memories. The summers spent digging for shells with her mother, kite flying in the spring with her father, and watching the surfing competition with her cousins. All the memories were gone. The sand was empty, and the upper layers blowing about in the wind. She had long ago run out of ammunition, so she knew she had to take her chances on the Nicrean Sea being her final resting place.

           Barely paying attention to anything but her thoughts, Ana almost missed her right ear twitching. Her ears were short but pointed on the upper edge and could hear things far away from her. If her ear twitched, something was much closer than she wanted it to be. As she looked behind her, Ana knew what was coming. Just as she saw light reflect off the first Arconis’ armor, she began unbuckling her boots hurriedly. She decided to keep her armor, the weight would drag her to the ocean floor quicker. The Arconis wouldn’t follow her into the water (she hoped), and as soon as her last boot was free, she tore across the sand like a marathon sprinter to the water. The water was almost frigid to her and she breathed in sharply. She never looked back, she kept her eyes forward, and could feel the water soaking through her clothes, making them heavier, and beginning to drag her down. Ana couldn’t hear the Arconis behind her anymore, and her ears were filled with the sound of the tide breaking around her. Her armor began pulling her under when the water was halfway up her breastplate, and she didn’t fight it. She took one last breath and gazed around her as she closed her eyes for the final time. Or so she thought.

            Tom hated doing inventory checks. He only accepted this because the Captain was furious with him. He had tried to make things better but made them worse instead. The Captain had every right to just eject him out into space and watch him die. Instead, she assigned him these menial tasks that made his brain bleed of boredom. At least he was still alive though. As he entered the cargo hold, the lights were dim, and he could easily make out the shapes of the crates he was looking for. As he sighed and set down his equipment belt, he caught a whiff of something he hadn’t smelled in almost ten years. His brain quickly perked up and tried to place the smell. Saltwater?! How would saltwater be on the ship? They were 80 years from earth. He pushed the smell to the back of his mind and filed it under wishful thinking.

           Anaris opened her eyes. She was no longer in the ocean, but instead in what seemed to be a cargo hold, not unlike the ones she had been in on the Nicrean ships. Her ears told her that there was someone else in the room with her, so she tried to hold in the overwhelming urge to orally expel the water she had intentionally swallowed. She failed miserably and expelled the liquid contents of her stomach. Gasping for air and wiping her mouth on her sleeve, she nervously glanced around the large crate that concealed her and saw him. Tom heard the familiar sound of vomiting coming from behind him and turned to see an almond shaped blue eye watching him from between the crates. Keeping her ears trained on the humanoid, she began to remove her armor as quietly as she could, leaving the dagger her grandfather had given her on her hip. She ran her fingers through her almond colored hair, and quickly put it into a battle braid. Then she sat on her haunches and tried to figure out the humanoid.

           Tom, in his laidback manner turned back to his gear, which included two drink tubes, a hand-held inventory tracker, and his communicator, holding a small handful of tiny screws. “It’s amazing that without this tiny screw in the right place all hell will break loose.” He said it more to amuse himself about his current plight than for any other reason. He was putting the screws back in the box when he heard a sharp thud that sounded heavy, and metallic. Automatically drawing his weapon, he spun around to the same place he had heard the vomiting from before.

           “I know you’re here! I won’t harm you, as long as you don’t harm me!” There was no response. “Look! I will even put my weapon away! Just come out! If you’re hurt, I can help you!” Tom was putting his weapon back in its holster when he saw something move in between the shadows cast by the crates from the corner of his eye. When he looked at her, his jaw dropped. She was a humanoid figure, and a biped. Remembering himself, he asked her to stop when she came within a foot of him, and they could clearly see each other. Anaris and Tom stood looking at each other for a bit before Anaris spoke. “Where am I, and who or what are you?” She knew it sounded harsh and crass but she didn’t care. She had wanted to die. Not end up wherever this was. Tom leaned up against a large cargo case and tried to look relaxed to show he wasn’t a threat to her. Anaris didn’t change her posture, and Tom saw the dagger on her hip.

           “Well,” he started. “Currently you are on a ship in space headed back to Earth. I’m Tom, and I’m supposed to be doing inventory as a punishment. I am also a human.” Tom let his answer hang in the air for a moment, and then hoisted himself up on top of the crate and sat. “What about you? Who, or what are you, and how the hell did you get on board?!” Tom let her take her time in answering, and as he took the first swallow of his drink tube, she responded, “I think I died.” Tom immediately choked on his drink, and after a few seconds of sputtering, he was able to choke out, “Excuse me?” Anaris replayed the events of her last moments on her home planet to Tom, who stayed quiet, listening intently. Just as Anaris finished, A huge wave of space interference hit the ship, and rocked it massively. Tom fell off the crate, and Anaris fell to her knees. When all was quiet again, Tom looked around, and moved to help Anaris up. He extended his hand, and she looked at it, and at him questioningly. “I told you, I won’t hurt you.” He said coaxingly.

           She took his hand and stood up. Tom saw that in the fall, her dagger had sliced her leg and fallen out of its scabbard, and immediately pushed the wrist unit he wore. “Bridge” came the reply. Anaris realized it was a woman’s voice and didn’t know how to feel. “Captain, what was that space wave? It was felt all the way down here!” Tom said, watching Anaris’ blood drip to the floor. “We aren’t quite sure, but it seems like a planet nearby exploded.” Came the Captain’s cool reply. Anaris quickly turned and ran away from Tom. Not because she was afraid, but because she no longer had a home, and she didn’t want him to see her cry. Anaris heard Tom ask the Captain and First Officer to come down immediately. Tom found Anaris again and tried to coax her out again. She wouldn’t budge. “Come on, I promise no one will hurt you here.” Tom said calmly, extending his hand again patiently. “How do I know?” she cried, “That you aren’t like them?!”  Ana decided to face whatever was coming and stood up abruptly. Before anyone could say anything to her, Ana sharply said, “It was a planet that exploded. It was my Nicrea.”

           The Captain and First Officer looked her over as they entered the hold, “Why did it explode?” She asked this of Ana like she was asking about the weather, and Ana couldn’t take it. “We were attacked!! The Arconis destroyed EVERYTHING!!” It was then the Captain’s heart softened. It was palpable in the room, and it even disarmed Ana’s apparent anger. This time when the Captain spoke, it was soft, and heartfelt. “How did you end up here?” Ana glanced at Tom, and Tom nodded. “I tried to drown myself in the Nicrean Sea and ended up here.” Ana said as she registered for the first time that there was pain in her right thigh. Ana’s vision began to waver, her legs refused to hold her up. As her vision darkened, and she began to fall, Tom caught her. Without missing a beat, Captain Janeway ordered him to take her to see the doctor.

           “An exploding planet, a stowaway, and all of this started because Tom had to do inventory.” Chakotay stated as he smiled and chuckled. “Yes, it seems that she is as lost as we are, whoever she is.” Kathryn responded as she walked beside her first officer out of the cargo hold. “You know, lately there have been a lot of new beginnings on board this ship. I believe we may have another to add to our expanding list.” Janeway nodded, smiled, and said, “I am all for new beginnings.” Making their way to the bridge, Chakotay and Janeway discussed multiple things. Ionic polarization shifts, anti-matter waves, and ship repairs to be made once they could find a small corner of space to be “safe” in. To Chakotay’s dismay, nothing too personal. Nothing about their kiss, nothing about what she had said in the Ready Room. Was she trying to forget? He hoped not. As they entered the bridge, he was brought out of his reverie by what they were seeing on screen. A large cloud of what seemed to be gas, detritus, and some sort of moisture was in front of them.

           After a second’s long pause, Kathryn asked, “Nicrea?” Chakotay realized she was talking to him. “Probably, which adds validity to our stowaway’s story.” They nodded in agreement and stood staring for a few moments. Something about the cloud was oddly beautiful. If you hadn’t known it was a planet, and countless souls had just died, it could be mistaken for art. Chakotay knew he had to pull his head out of a romantic mind set so Kathryn wouldn’t give him that look that she gives when Tom frustrates her. He hated that look and tried his best not to earn it. There were times that he couldn’t avoid it though, and he smiled to himself as he thought about it.

[ducksbellorum]

Rock Force Part II (listen/download)

a basic training mix in five parts - bct 2012 - arranged by ducksbellorum

Part I; Part 2;

I Get It In Omarion I get it in, I get it in I get it in, I get up in the game I get it in, I get it in I get it in, I get up in the thing They only called us into the DFAC (dining facility) like thirty at a time, so sometimes you stood out there and waited for a while. We always used to try and see how many we could get in at a time, which prompted me singing this song every time we went down to chow. I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean getting privates into the DFAC, but whatever. Dog Days Are Over Florence + the Machine Run fast for your mother run fast for your father Run for your children for your sisters and brothers Leave all your love and your longing behind you Can’t carry it with you if you want to survive I mainly had this song because it was on Covert Affairs. When we went to Victory Tower, we had to rappel down a forty foot wall. So much fun. If they’d asked for volunteers, I would’ve been first in line and that made me think of Annie Walker and her fearlessness in most everything. And there’s also the running aspect of it, we do lots of running around. Too much. And finally, there’s now the fact that the dog days of BCT are finally over! The Old Landmark James Brown Let us all (all go back) to the old (old landmark) Let us all (all go back) to the old (old landmark) Let us all (all go back) to the old (old landmark) And we’ll stay in the service of the Lord Ahh, church! The refuge of the tired, the lazy, and the fraternizers. Oh yes, and the people who actually want to worship. I sang this on the way to church every Sunday. I loved church at BCT. It was a very encouraging atmosphere, full of dancing and singing and general friendliness. And no drill sergeants! At least until the last couple weeks. Anyways. Church was awesome. Screw the Okampa! Voltaire So hoist up the aft nacelles See how the warp core burns Tell Janeway to go to hell I wanna go home This song really needs no explanation. I wanna go home. I wanna go home. I say fuck Basic Training, I wanna go home. I only sang this on the really bad days, or first thing in the way too early morning. But some were singing this chorus right up through Victory Forge. Lately OJ da Juiceman Little do they know, white chalk on the pavement All about my paper If you owe me, better pay me Lately, I feel like e'erbody hate me Hey, in BCT, everyone does hate you. Drill sergeants hate your existence, civilians hate you for some reason I still haven’t figured out, and you all hate each other because you’re all different and awkward and so freaking stupid. When you’re a private, no one likes you. Privates will get to like other privates (we did), but there’s always some senior somebody that’s going to hate your guts. Promise. Rawhide Theme Rawhide Keep moving, moving, moving Though they’re disapproving Keep them doggies moving Rawhide Marching to the gas chamber! It was at the bottom of a really freaking big hill. Marching down, no problem. Marching up? A whole other story! Add to that the fact that I watched the Blues Brothers three times in a row the day before I shipped and you get me singing 'rolling, rolling, rolling’ all the way there and back. Keep them feet rolling! Rawhide! Love Song Sarah Bareilles Promise me that you’ll leave the light on To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone 'Cause I believe there’s a way you can love me Because I say I won’t write you a love song Foot march number one! That was honestly fun, tell the truth. All the other marches were hell, but this one… Two miles, very little gear, and everyone was happy. Most of the time the drill sergeants made us be quiet, but this time we got to sing. My bay leader started singing this song and pretty soon the whole platoon was singing. It was awesome. Aspiring Fires Mother Mother Maybe, you’re watching too much TV Because crazy in the box is everything that crazy’s not A little advice for aspiring fires You’ll get put out if you don’t get a little wild As privates, we’re what you’d call aspiring fires. Aspiring to be something great, but we’ll get snuffed out in a heartbeat if we don’t get motivated and put 100% into what we do. Get crazy. :) My platoon, through the first like three weeks, tried and tried but we could never get it right. We were the worst platoon for a while. Then, suddenly, we clicked. We still sucked, but everyone else sucked worse. We Found Love Rihanna Yellow diamonds in the light And we’re standing side by side As your shadow crosses mine We found love in a hopeless place Even though we were at boot camp, a place some would call a fairly hopeless place sometimes, we found ways to be happy. We heard this while riding out to a range one day and it struck me as appropriate. Even in BCT where we were supposed to be miserable, most of us were happy most of the time. We pulled each other through. Tonight Tonight Hot Chelle Ray There’s a party on the rooftop top of the world Tonight tonight and we’re dancing on the edge of the Hollywood sign I don’t know if I’ll make it but watch how good I’ll fake it It’s all right, all right, tonight, tonight Obviously sung on weekends. It was always a really really messed up week for one reason or another, but every night was rest and every morning was a new day. You had to learn to brush off yesterday and start new the next day. Otherwise you get all tangled up and mad all the time. You had to learn that it really was alright in the end.