#Ivy475 vents

[ivy475]

Can't put this on fb because I don't want to hear people's mouths (mainly family), so I'll vent here instead. I've had cancer 3 times. First, cervical. Next, breast. Now, acute myeloid leukemia. I'm in remission, but what I had to do to get myself here, most people don't survive it. I've done shit tons of chemo. I want to say I've done extensive regiments of chemo 5 times, including several different kinds at the same time. I had a double mastectomy and they took 19 lymph nodes from my armpit. I did radiation for 6 weeks. I've had to do physical therapy twice. I just had a stem cell transplant in Feb. I've had 2 blood infections in 4 months. I've had a port and 2 Hickman lines in my chest. I still have my line today. Every other day, I have to hook up an antifungal to it. I also have to flush it every day. I have to go to the hospital once a week for a follow up. Let me just say, I'm tired of being tired, and I'm sick of being sick. Now, I take 16 different meds 3 times a day. My stomach is always fucked up, and I constantly have diarrhea. I also have GVHD of the skin. My memory is fucked because of all the treatments. Everything I've gone through has completely changed my body. I used to be thin and hot. Now I'm 60 pounds overweight and look pregnant because I don't have tits to hide my massive gut. I never used to look my age, but chemo has aged me drastically. My hair is just now starting to grow back after the transplant. And don't get me started on menopause. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful and happy to be alive. My son still has his mom, but I'm tired of everything. So very sick and tired. This is why I disappear for months at a time. Because I'm undergoing treatment. I've spent a lot of time in the hospital. Now, every time I smell a hospital smell, it reminds me of the time I almost died. I've almost passed away 4 times now. I didn't need cpr or anything, but I could tell by the way I felt that death was close. Sepsis will do that. Somehow, I survived. I guess it's not my time, and that's okay because I'm not ready yet. I have a child to raise (the best kid ever), and I have the best life partner ever. I also have a cousin who is some kind of angel in disguise. If it wasn't for them, idk what I would do. I probably would have given up. In the last 3 years, I've lost my mom, my aunt, and my uncle to cancer. I was my mom's caretaker and watched her take her last breath. I watched her soul leave her body. We had breast cancer at the same time. I held my aunt's hand and watched her take her last breath. She had a rare intestinal cancer and basically starved to death. I was in the hospital doing chemo when my uncle died. He had esophageal cancer and also starved to death. To say I've had it rough is putting it mildly, but I'm still here fighting. I'm the last one fighting, but I'm still alive. And for that, I'm grateful. Like, I'm a strong person, but please don't throw anything else at me, Spirit. This Druid can't handle anymore.

Peace out. If y'all need me, I'll be in the woods worshipping Mother Nature and stacking cairn stones.

[rootbeergoddess]

The Captain Tries to Bake

My fellow Rooker Hookers suggested a cute story in which Yondu tried to bake. Thanks too @ivy475 for helping me with the editing. 

Smoke was coming from the kitchen.

That was never a good sign. As the cook on a Ravager ship, you didn’t want your kitchen to go up in smoke. Cooking for a bunch of rowdy space pirates was hard enough. Having a kitchen that was burned would make things even harder. Irritated, you marched towards the source of the smoke.

“Sonvabitch!”

You stopped. Yondu? What was he doing in the kitchen? He never set foot in the kitchen. Starting towards the kitchen again, you peered in. A dirty bowl and whisk sat in the sink while Yondu had his back turned to you. Confused, you stepped forward. Thanks to the smoke, you started coughing. Once he heard you, Yondu whirled around. He was wearing one of your aprons. Your confusion was mounting. Holding up your hand, you headed towards the button panel and pressed the button that opened up the vents. The smoke was whisked away, making it easier to breathe again.

“Now that I can breathe,” You turned to him. “What are you doing in my kitchen?”

Yondu chewed his lip and rubbed his neck. Crossing your arms, you took another look around the kitchen. Flour and sugar were on the floor, you spotted a few eggshells and there were icing stains on the apron.

“It ain’t ready yet,” Yondu finally said. “But I guess that don’t matter. It’s shit anyway.”

Yondu moved, revealing a cupcake. Or at least you thought it was a cupcake. The cake was falling apart while the icing was sliding off it. There were a few sprinkles but most of them were on the plate instead of the cake.

“You were trying to bake?”

“Yeah,” Yondu looked at the cupcake. “It was supposed ta be a peace offering. But I fucked it up. Yew were right. Cooking and baking aren’t easy.”

Yondu had tried to bake you a cupcake as a way to apologize. Walking over to him, you looked at the cupcake again. It was the saddest cupcake you had ever seen in your life. Grabbing a fork, you picked up the plate and took a bite. Yondu stared at you in shock.

“This---isn’t too bad,” You said. “The cake is cooked all the way through. The icing is a bit too sweet though.”

“I thought it was supposed ta be sweet.”

“Not too sweet,” You put the cupcake down. “For your first time baking, you did a decent job.”

“I still think you should stay the cook,” Yondu removed the apron. “Look, I didn’t mean that crack about yew bein’ worthless.”

“Well, I accept your apology,” You smiled at him. “However, you’re going to have to help me clean this mess you made.”

“That’s fair,” Yondu said. “Maybe next time, you can teach me?”

“Sure thing Captain.”

[ivy475]

Yay! It's time for my weekly hospital visit! 😒

Can't put this on fb because I don't want to hear people's mouths (mainly family), so I'll vent here instead. I've had cancer 3 times. First, cervical. Next, breast. Now, acute myeloid leukemia. I'm in remission, but what I had to do to get myself here, most people don't survive it. I've done shit tons of chemo. I want to say I've done extensive regiments of chemo 5 times, including several different kinds at the same time. I had a double mastectomy and they took 19 lymph nodes from my armpit. I did radiation for 6 weeks. I've had to do physical therapy twice. I just had a stem cell transplant in Feb. I've had 2 blood infections in 4 months. I've had a port and 2 Hickman lines in my chest. I still have my line today. Every other day, I have to hook up an antifungal to it. I also have to flush it every day. I have to go to the hospital once a week for a follow up. Let me just say, I'm tired of being tired, and I'm sick of being sick. Now, I take 16 different meds 3 times a day. My stomach is always fucked up, and I constantly have diarrhea. I also have GVHD of the skin. My memory is fucked because of all the treatments. Everything I've gone through has completely changed my body. I used to be thin and hot. Now I'm 60 pounds overweight and look pregnant because I don't have tits to hide my massive gut. I never used to look my age, but chemo has aged me drastically. My hair is just now starting to grow back after the transplant. And don't get me started on menopause. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful and happy to be alive. My son still has his mom, but I'm tired of everything. So very sick and tired. This is why I disappear for months at a time. Because I'm undergoing treatment. I've spent a lot of time in the hospital. Now, every time I smell a hospital smell, it reminds me of the time I almost died. I've almost passed away 4 times now. I didn't need cpr or anything, but I could tell by the way I felt that death was close. Sepsis will do that. Somehow, I survived. I guess it's not my time, and that's okay because I'm not ready yet. I have a child to raise (the best kid ever), and I have the best life partner ever. I also have a cousin who is some kind of angel in disguise. If it wasn't for them, idk what I would do. I probably would have given up. In the last 3 years, I've lost my mom, my aunt, and my uncle to cancer. I was my mom's caretaker and watched her take her last breath. I watched her soul leave her body. We had breast cancer at the same time. I held my aunt's hand and watched her take her last breath. She had a rare intestinal cancer and basically starved to death. I was in the hospital doing chemo when my uncle died. He had esophageal cancer and also starved to death. To say I've had it rough is putting it mildly, but I'm still here fighting. I'm the last one fighting, but I'm still alive. And for that, I'm grateful. Like, I'm a strong person, but please don't throw anything else at me, Spirit. This Druid can't handle anymore.

Peace out. If y'all need me, I'll be in the woods worshipping Mother Nature and stacking cairn stones.