#Ive just been thinking so hard recently about the intersection of being visibly queer and asian because its just that time of year

[themainannoyance]

One of the more frustrating things about the intersection of racism, in particular the kind of unspoken anti-asian that just exists in all forms of US media and in the preferences, perceptions, and behaviors of Americans of every race, and sexual attraction is that sometimes you just don't know what it is about you that's so undesirable. ESPECIALLY if you're also transgender, and especially if you're fat. Like... Man, sometimes it can feel so disheartening to know that you're just not going to be considered attractive by many of the people that you find attractive because of aspects of yourself that you cannot change, but it's also difficult to come to terms with the fact that believing this IS anti-asian, transphobic, fatphobic rhetoric. Not only that, there's also the question of "do I dress cool enough?" "am I approachable?" "do I seem interesting?" and those are easier questions to ask because these are things that people can change about themselves. But then again, how interesting or approachable an individual seems IS impacted by their race, gender, sexual orientation, etc.

Being someone who falls out of that queer ideal of a conventionally attractive, skinny, white person just means that there's this massive question hanging above your head all the time: "What is fundamentally wrong with the way people perceive me that I cannot change?" and it is frustrating to never have that answer.