#Ive got a few vintage pens that I love

[goldenstorm0]

Okay I am gonna talk about my first fountain pen, and my current grail pen that I'm always on the hunt but can never afford.

Both are the Parker 25

If you are new to vintage pens, you almost definitely heard of Parker, either the 51 or the duo fold. Both are excellent pens, I think. I have never used them before, but a lot of people love them. They are on my list of pens I want to get eventually, but they're kinda low. I'm looking for a different type of Parker.

When my grandparents were officially moved out of their house, my family started the long process of going through their stuff. We needed to sell the house so we could take care of them, and eventually pay for funerals. They were hoarders, and there was a lot to sort. A ton of bowling balls, a metric shit ton of yarn, even more trash. And hidden in all of this was a forgotten pen that I eventually found.

I think it was a gift from a bank that my grandma worked at for 20 years, and it was a shitty gift for that amount of work. The 25 was made to be a cheaper pen, made for young adults who may not of had enough money for one of the nicer models, but needed a reliable pen for work. I wouldn't be surprised if it was never used, but I had thrown away the box pretty much immediately and didn't care.

I've seen people describe this pen as robust or space-aged, but I always thought of it as more brutalist. Bare metal, black nib unit, steel nib. It's not a very inviting pen. The nib unit is hard to remove, or at least mine was, and you can't easily switch nibs. Not that you ever need to. It's a workhorse of a pen. Made to be used anywhere and everywhere. It was and still is Not my aesthetic. But I loved it.

It was my only fountain pen for years. I spent a lot of time first figuring out how to write with it, and then fiddling with it to make it write even better. I looked up tutorials on how to hold it, how to take care of it, figuring out how to fix a dry nib or a bent nib, how to take it apart, clean it, and put it back together. I found out the history behind the model, then the brand, and then I started looking into fountain pens in general. It started a new obsession, one that continues to this day.

And then I fucking broke it of course.

I had it in my pocket and it fell nib first. The nib itself was bent, but that was something I could fix. But unit itself snapped off from the threads that screwed the pen together. I couldn't fix that, and I'm pretty sure no one could fix that. I didn't bother looking though. I was 20, no job, living off of my parents and school grants while I went to community college. I couldn't afford to send it to anyone to fix it. If I couldn't do anything, then nothing would be done, because that cost money.

So I saved up and started looking around for a new part. Prices weren't great, something that's crazy annoying for what was originally intended to be a cheap ass pens. Eventually I found a set within my pittance of a budget, it even came with a roller ball (never touched). It was a complete pen, but I took it apart, pried the feed from nib unit, and put in the original still-bent nib in, and put it in the original scratched up body. They looked almost identical, but I wanted My Pen, not a new one.

It doesn't write the same. I don't think I have had a pen that wrote a beautifully as it original did, but that might be nostalgia talking. The nib is still bent. I got my first job soon after (yes I did spend grant money on a pen repair), and I started to buy more pens. Learned the basics of vintage pen repair, fixed up a few lever-fills, fucked up some vintage gold nibs when trying to practice grinding a tuning (never got really good at that). Instead of working on perfecting the one pen, I bought new ones that worked well enough.

But now I have a bit of a holy grail that I am looking for. Because, while the 25 is a cheap ass pen for broke college students, there is a particularly rare color. Same metal body, steel nib, but instead of black, it's bright orange. If the original black was outside my aesthetic, this is on the other side of the planet. I usually am not a fan of orange, and I super hate this specific shade. And I want it. Like, really really badly. I've seen several on sale, and currently don't see any on sale, and I am barred by my old nemesis, money.

And before I get that pen, I want to send my old 25 to a nibmeister. The nib is slightly bent and I don't think I can fix it, and it bothers me like nothing else. I need to do a bit of research first to make sure someone is willing to work on the nib, its pretty nonstandard.

credits:

moreengineering - They have a lot of info on the Parker 25 on their site, plus it's fun to just look around. Used for general information and this ridiculous photo

fuck you I want that how the FUCk

parkerpens - My go-to for everything Parker. You can fit so much info into this site. Used for general information

Pen Collect - They've got a really nice page for id-ing your parker 25. Mine is a mark II

Orange Parker 25 collage - YES I KNOW IT GOES TO A 404. There aren't a lot of good photos of the orange Parker. Its painfully rare

2nd orange Parker picture - Only other photo I could find that I liked. The has already sold and it just redirects you to lighters and pens. And if you try to search for it on their site, you just get wine. I am in... so much pain trying to find this goddamn pen. I hate it but I want it

[taylamillsdesignresearch2]

POSTER PAGE 2 - finalised writing for each object (1831 words)

MIRROR

This mirror was gifted to me on my birthday by my Aunty a few years ago. It is a makeup mirror with outer lighting that was gifted to me due to my passion for makeup artistry. My aunty has a lot of experience in the makeup artistry field, making this mirror very special as we would often bond over our love for makeup artistry and creativity. I have used this mirror everyday since it was gifted to me, and therefore is a huge part of my identity.

HEADPHONES 

These are apple headphones that I use almost every day due to my love of music. I find that I often like to have music playing in the background in any situation and would much rather prefer it over silence. I listen to all different kinds of music depending on my mood, and I find that I can really express myself through my music taste. I take these headphones wherever I go, making them a big part of who I am. 

PEN AND PAPER 

Throughout my entire life I have always had pens and paper with me, as I am a very creative person. As soon as I was old enough to hold a pen I would draw and doodle for hours almost every day. My love of art and drawing allows me to be expressive through my work. It allows me to use as much creativity as possible whilst also allowing me to explore new ideas. My love for drawing is what got me into graphic design, making it a very significant part of my life.

CANDLE

I own around 20 different candles, but the specific one pictured was gifted to me from my mother when I first moved into my current apartment. I love lighting candles in my room to create a calming environment whilst also making it smell nice. Lighting a candle is very helpful when I am under high pressure as it creates a soothing environment and helps me to focus on my work. Lighting a candle has a huge impact on my overall calmness, making them a significant part of my life.

VASE OF FLOWERS

I find that I quite often have a vase of flowers sitting on my vanity, and whenever I get gifted them I make sure to put them on display and take good care of them in order to show my appreciation. Having flowers in my room creates a happy environment, and they serve as a reminder that I am loved. The current flowers that I have were gifted to me from a friend and are pink, meaning that they pair nicely with my feminine, girly personal style

PAW PRINT PICTURE 

This element is one of the most significant out of all of the objects in the poster. 

I have this picture hanging up on my wall so that I feel as though she is always with me. It makes me feel more at home when looking at my wall, however, it is still very hard to look at and it often makes me upset. This object is a huge part of my identity as I had my dog throughout my entire childhood, and it inspires me to do well to show how far ive come through the years.

SHOULDER BAG

I bought this bag from a thrift store a few years ago because it was vintage and pink, going well with my personal style. I love shopping and I like to place my bags on display along with my collections of accessories, representing my love for fashion. I love to buy second hand rather than supporting fast fashion, and I believe this has had an impact on my creative process when it comes to supporting recycling. It also makes me think more about what materials I use when designing physical aspects. 

BAILEYS BOTTLE

The bottle of baileys liquor was given to me as a gift on my eighteenth birthday. It represents the important milestone of turning eighteen, representing how far I've come in life. It acts as a reminder to keep going when things get tough, so after finishing the bottle, I washed it and put it on display in my room. It was a limited edition pink bottle so it matches my personal style perfectly, which therefore has an impact on my creativity.

FRANK OCEAN POSTER 

I have multiple posters on my wall that I have designed and printed myself. This particular poster is an album recreation design that I created using pink colours to match my room. It is of one of my favourite musicians, Frank Ocean, who I always listen to when working and designing. This element is significant as my mother also listens to his music so we are both able to bond over our love for him. The poster represents my love for music and its impact that it has had on me creatively. 

PLAYING CARDS

Playing cards are a consistent element found in every one of my extended families homes. They are significant as whenever I spend time with family we like to play card games together, and my grandad also uses them to do magic tricks. These cards represent family time, as family is the most important thing to me so I value every second that we spend together. My family has always supported me with my passion for design, and they are constantly making positive impacts on my creativity and inspiring me.

WALLPAPER

This wallpaper was on the walls of my childhood bedroom from ages two till seven. This element is very significant as it was connected to the place where I made so many good memories. The wallpaper was floral and feminine, much like my own personal style today, and I feel as though this wallpaper heavily influenced my style today. Although this wallpaper is not in my life anymore, I like to look back on my childhood and I often associate with good memories and use it as a way to see how far i've come in life.

MAKEUP BRUSHES

Although I have many different brands of makeup brushes, all of them are pink and they sit in a pink makeup pot. I use these brushes almost every day, making them a part of my daily routine. My favourite part of the morning has always been sitting down at my vanity and doing my makeup. It is one of the parts of being a girl that I love the most as I am able to express my femininity. They represent my love for makeup artistry and overall creativity.

FLIP PHONE

This flip phone is a very significant item as my grandad has had it for around twenty years and he brings it wherever he goes. I have a special bond with my grandad and it is his way of contacting me, and we often joke about how his phone is older than me. This phone reminds me of my grandad and all of our happy memories, which represents my love for my family. My family is a big inspiration in my life and have had a huge impact on my design.

LIGHTER

I bought this lighter myself, and it was originally grey coloured but I rhinestone it with pink gems to match my personal style more. This lighter is special as I use it to light my candles, which I have placed all around my room to create a warm, calming environment. Lighting candles have a huge impact on my mood as they keep me calm and at peace. The lighter represents the action of taking my stress away when lighting a candle, which impacts my design process as it keeps my mind at ease.

LOCKET NECKLACE

I made this locket necklace myself using an old, vintage locket and a light pink ribbon. This necklace is significant as it portrays my love for fashion and accessorising, whilst also looking very feminine, pairing with my personal style. I haven’t put a photo in it yet but I would like to put a photo of my dog in it so that I will always have her with me. This locket represents the idea of keeping my memories close with me, as they are an important part of my identity.

HAIRBRUSH

I use this hairbrush every single day so it is a part of my daily routine. Getting ready is often my favourite part of the day, and this hairbrush is an object that has stayed consistent for my entire life. It represents girlhood and the fun of getting ready in the morning. I enjoy sitting at my vanity and treating it as my creative space where I can explore different styles in terms of makeup, hair, accessorising, and more.

RING

I have a very big jewellery collection, however this ring is one of the most significant out of all of them. It is a matching promise ring set that I got for my friend and myself when she was going through a hard time. We both have a very special bond and have both been through very hard times, so this ring symbolises a promise that we will always be there for eachother no matter what. The ring symbolises how much I value my friendships, and how my friends are a big part of my identity. 

LOCKETS 

I have a few different lockets sitting in my trinket tray, all from different sources. Some of them were gifted and some were bought from vintage stores. Lockets are significant to me as I love the look of them and they represent my personal style. They represent my love for jewellery and vintage items, but also represent the keeping of memories. I often use my personal memories as design inspiration so these lockets have had a big impact on my creative style as well as my identity. 

BOWS 

When looking around my room you will find bows everywhere. I make them myself with light pink ribbon that I buy from craft stores. They are often attached to my accessories or clothing items, or just pinned to the wall and treated as art. I use these bows as personalisation to make my belongings more my style. I treat bows as the symbol of my personal style, as they are one of my favourite objects and they represent my femininity. 

DESK

The desk was a gift from my parents on my eighth birthday. It was gifted to me due to my love of drawing and painting, so this desk acted as my creative space. It is significant as I have used it almost everyday since I was eight, with its purpose changing over the years. I started to use the desk as a vanity when I started to become passionate about makeup. However, I now use it for design work as well.  This desk has had a major impact on my design work as it is the place that I can go to escape and just explore my creativity.

[johnnys-green-pen]

Random E! Thoughts: S5E1 - The Stewardess

Johnny bothering poor stewardesses on the job is giving me intense second-hand embarrassment. 

Okay, I gotta say, Roy really delights in being a pessimist about Johnny getting with that stewardess. Something about the way he insists that you can’t tell by a ring these days and that she probably has a husband who’s MUCH STRONGER than Johnny... *snrk*

ngl, I kinda love how Johnny thinks that sidling up to somebody and dumping a few years’ worth of weird stories on them is more socially acceptable than asking people for their names. 

As somebody who made friends before by essentially going “LET ME TELL YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT FOUNTAIN PENS”, me judging Johnny for being a massive dork is, of course, absolutely not hypocritical at all.

Johnny going “boy have you been out of circulation for a while” and Roy’s answering look of impending self-doubt.

For bonus points, Roy and Joanne met when they were still in grade school, so depending on how their relationship developed, there’s a non-zero chance that Roy was never really in circulation... which is kind of hilarious.

Makes sense that Johnny’s the one treating the victim - if the episode Snakebite and that traffic accident they were faces with in that one is any indication, Johnny’s better at keeping a cool head in situations where they’re operating outside of their normal capacity and have to improvise.

And oh boy does Johnny ever keep cool this time, too

Johnny managing to start an IV on a moving plane. 

Also, I’m not going to nerd out about that too much, but I frickin love the vintage plane aesthetic. That intersection of mass transport and flying still having a certain air of elegance during the 70′s is just so incredibly fascinating. 

Roy’s laconic “Ah, gee, finally got her name, huh”

Johnny and Sue somehow managing to find time to exchange phone numbers in that whole mess.

Roy being peeved that no girl’s ever asked him for his phone number

"Not even Joanne” - dude, she probably didn’t have to if you met while you were ten, she probably had that one memorized years before you started dating.

Johnny finally finding someone he’s on a wavelength with, and not even that works out

Johnny walking off to take that phone call, and Roy just standing there looking lost for a moment. 

The midnight phone call. Cap’s completely Done “do you mind??” when Johnny turns on the light. The way he crawls back into bed after and decides that now is a great time to talk to Roy

Roy snapping at him, and Johnny just going “you grouch”

Johnny and Roy reaching into a pile of firefighting foam and pulling out Cap

Sue probably wasn’t as much “relentless” about correcting Johnny about shit, Johnny’s just very, very bad at telling people to quit it. 

Same thing with him not managing to break up with her properly

Poor guy probably wants to be liked so badly that getting people to stop liking him goes against every instinct he has. 

Johnny’s petulant little “I never wanna see her again”

Reasons why Johnny’s broken up with girls: Too right about things, and too good at bowling. Oh boy. 

Johnny wants to be IN a relationship, I think, but he doesn’t actually want the relationship. 

[britneyshakespeare]

tagged by @pavlovers to do the 10 songs im currently obsessed with thing. this is kinda weird bc ive mostly been listening to poetry and two public domain audiobooks on spotify in the past like... two weeks (but sense and sensibility and the picture of dorian gray are still excellent so there’s that) and i’ve not been listening to as much music so... here we go. without further ado.

out of time - the rolling stones i have this eerie feeling i’ve done this song for one of these tag things before? or at least that i’ve talked about it before. i don’t know, i searched it on my blog and found nothing, but this has always been one of my favorite mid-60s brian jones stones songs. i can even get with the sardonic, cruel lyrics which in most cases just make me kinda irritated with mick jagger. they at least have a sense of cleverness in this case that tends to be lacking in other chrissie shrimpton-inspired songs like under my thumb and stupid girl.

somebody to love - queen okay so i saw bohemian rhapsody last sunday and i... loved it. reawakened all my love for queen that never really sleeps anyway. but freddie mercury really was just... so distinguished. and this is a pretty basic favorite queen song to have, and to be perfectly curt, i don’t think i even have a favorite queen song. their whole discography is too unique to really weigh against itself like with other bands. but of all the big queen songs that you tend to hear everywhere, this is the one that gets the most out of me, most consistently. as much as i also love killer queen and bohemian rhapsody and good old-fashion loverboy and all them.

quiero del fruto prohibido - stephanie salas while looking for more spanish-language music to listen to recently i found stephanie salas, and i haven’t gotten that deep into her discography yet, beyond just her 2006 album tuna, but i really love it and i’ve gone through it a couple of times. it reminds me a lot of return of saturn by no doubt, which is by a long shot my favorite gwen stefani-penned album. in both sound and attitude. and i always love discovering new music that sounds like old gwen stefani.

consequences - camila cabello (orchestral version) i really didn’t expect this from camila, even with as soulful as she’s been trying to sound since beginning her solo career. this was just so beautiful, and though i wouldn’t say the lyrics on this song are that impressive (she’s clearly still an amateur songwriter who’s yet to grow into herself), the new instrumental here really accentuates the best in it. this version is far better than it has any right to be.

paco paco paco - encarnita polo also found this while looking for 60s spanish pop songs on allmusic.com. i haven’t found much substantial information on the singer of this catchy little track yet, but it sure is pretty frickin cute, and doesn’t get annoying when it gets stuck in my head. suits all my girly vintage pop-rock needs, which we all know is my weakness.

by myself - cécile mclorin salvant discovered her new album the window on allmusic.com a few weeks ago (wow i’m really discussing a lot of allmusic.com on here... i don’t even use that site that much it’s just my main resource for discovering new shit bc i’m so out of touch w trends nowadays) and even though it’s all covers of decades-old songs... she’s really got the voice and the instrumentals backing her up to make them her own. a wonderful style. and this song in specific inspired me to make an aro jazz playlist, so there’s also that.

in india you - brian jonestown massacre i’ve yet to really dig into the discography of this band, but i’ve been meaning to for awhile. this is my favorite song from them so far, or at least the one that sticks out the most of those i’ve listened to. trippy and psychedelic and surreal and exquisite. does a lot of respect to their namesake of course... the 1978 jonestown massacre.

effeuille-moi le coeur - francoise hardy i’ve always loved the melody of this song ridiculously and as i’ve been trying to learn french, i’ve been using this songs as one of my audio samples, particularly bc i haven’t been able to find any detailed translations of it into english like you can with bigger francoise songs like tous les garcons and whatnot. so i’ve just been learning it piece by piece, because the language isn’t that out-of-reach to me. and i certainly love it more for that. :-)

thriller - fall out boy mandatory potentially embarrassing middle school song here. i haven’t been on a fob kick recently or anything, for some reason this song has just been popping into my head on and off recently. don’t really know why. but the lyrics of it always really stuck with me, especially in the chorus. still a good song that holds up.

the spinning wheel - delia murphy one of my favorite versions of one of my favorite traditional folk songs. there’s not really much i can say about it, other than that it just feels like an old comfort to me. and if anything, the antiquity of the recording and less-than-stellar sound quality of its being so old is a charm to me. i just feel so melancholy and nostalgic listening to it. a wonderful song.

i don’t know what to do. i guess i’ll just tag a few @sneez @shecomesincolors @nospoonsgiven @r3nton @aliceic @bohemian-brian

[askornaut]

Let’s draw Lots- 5s!

tagged by @emygrl99​

Five things you’ll find in my bag:

Lipstick! usually at least two.

Pen/s. Usually in fun colors! 

papers- old pay stubs, my index card with friends’ addresses on it, receipts, etc.

My wallet! 

My house key! I havent needed it in years but i still keep it with me!

Five things you’ll find in my bedroom:

lots of lamps. I have Danger Lamp aka Bugle Lamp, my UV lamp to help me fight seasonal depression, my built-in desk lamp, and my star projector!

listen im not saying im a slob who cant commit to anything but you will definitely find a small foldaway table in the middle of my room covered in old sewing projects that i abandoned. 

speaking of which, my sewing machine! I love my Husqy! She’s twenty years old and is a little cranky but still does all the work, just me like me! (give a take a few years for each of us..)

My toolkit! A DIY enthusiast turn home improvement amatuer can’t get away without one!

my bottles! I have a corkwood bottle from Iberia (spain or portugal, im not sure which.), an Arabic coke bottle, my vintage Coke bottle that broke and I worked to repair, and a glass soda bottle from Mexico! 

five things I’ve always wanted to do in life:

travel the world!! 

listen ive always waffled on my life goals and that aint gonna change ever but i do know ive always loved helping people and ive always wanted to do something in STEM in terms of a career so rn my dual goals are run a foster home and be an aerospace engineer

fix things. help people. improve lives, make people happy. any way i can.

*dudebro-esque chanting* ROAD!!! TRIP!!! rOAD!!!! TRIP!!! ROAD!!!! TRIP!!!!!

im sorry im so indecisive ive done my best but that is??? literally everything that ive wanted to do my entire life and technically speaking two things that I haven’t??? im sorry i mean i learned a language everything im doing now is just extra credit and i havent always wanted to go to college and everything else pretty much??? covers it??? ive done my best and will continue to do so but it isnt much 

five things that make me happy:

making someone else smile!!! that is The Best(tm) 

Wizard of Oz stuff! It makes me feel like maybe I will belong somewhere someday. 

My friends!!! Nothing can make me grin more than just a few minutes spent chatting with any one of them! 

The pursuit of knowledge! I’m really at my best in an academic environment, namely if it’s free of NCLB and everything that public school is. So, basically what little taste of college/homeschool I’ve had.

SINGING! even on days when i truly hate everything, i’ll still sing just to keep a little joy in my heart. 

Five things I’m currently into:

Drag. I’ve watched what feels like every SFW drag-related video on YT at least a thousand times and I’ll still watch them more. 

Voltron is nice, but i have trouble watching because of the darker tones in the themes. It can overwhelm me if I’m not careful. S2 is looking brighter and easier to consume, though! 

I’m always a s*** for the Wizard Of Oz!!

art..? can i say that??? i havent sculpted or painted in over a month, can i still say that???

aromatherapy!!! I have two candles rn, though normally I have at least 3, plus a tart warmer, plus some lotions! (im not super into skincare though, so i dont use the lotions as often.) 

Five things on my to-do list: 

Clean my room

Clean the kitchen

get my borderline hoarding family (myself included) to get rid of things we dont need. We practically have enough excess furniture to furnish a small apartment. Sparsely and with three desks, but still. hell, we even have a spare mattress/boxspring/bedframe! WHY??? ARE WE KEEPING THESE???

get a job. I desperately need income, but i also need to clean, and that takes forever, and....

get my driver’s license. that’ll solve an issue or two. 

5 things people may not know about me:

I’m selectively mute! Well..  i was when I was a kid. It comes back during my worse moments with autism. For the most part these days I just have trouble grasping the words. I can think of a sentence in my mind but i can’t force my tongue and lips and vocal cords to work together to make the sounds. I try to carry a pen and paper at all times when im around new people so I can communicate no matter what.      

I got my first smartphone when I turned seventeen. I got my first decent one (okay actually my current one is Super.. but the last one was at least two generations old and it was showing by the time i got my own.) last July. I’m almost nineteen now.     

I learned to sew when I six years old, before my fine motors skills were well developed! You can see it when i sew while I’m tired- i dont move my wrist the way you’re supposed to, instead i keep my wrist more or less still and move my arm/shoulder!    

I am allergic to 45 different things. Most of it’s pollen, fur, etc, but I am allergic to avocados. I had to carry an epipen on me at all times for a few years as a result!    

I never learned to ride a bike! I learned to ride a scooter, but that’s terrible exercise compared to a bicycle. I grew up in an area that is literally nothing but hills and i was too afraid of losing control and getting hurt as a kid to even get on a bike, much less learn how to ride. 

[paulsolorzano]

12.09.18

Starbucks. Ribeyes. Storage space. Habits. 

Sorting through the space a little. I need to make some room for the giant Game Cube display my brother  is bringing up 

To discuss still: 

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando 

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis 

Escape as a coping mechanism 

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Gwen Stefani - love angel music baby 

Jeff Rosenstock - I look like shit 

My chill mix

Fake problems - real ghosts caught on tape 

Antarctigo Vespucci - soulmate stuff 

Antarctigo Vespucci - love in the time of email 

Kanye west - life of Pablo 

Kanye west - graduation 

Watching:

Somm on Netflix 

Reading: 

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

Wheat grass juice powder 

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink 

Outback ribeye and wedge salad and green beans 

Playing:

Purchases:

Final Fantasy crystal chronicles, Japanese version for Game Cube 

Squid head - vintage Star Wars

Packages received: 

No post on Sunday 

But I opened these:

Devil boy by Iconoclast

 eBay obsessions: 

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day: 

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags: 

12.08.18

Sommelier course, day 2. We take the exam at the end of the day today. Fingers crossed dammit. 

—-

Passed the exam! Hard work paid off. A vision planned out and executed. Nice win for me. And my boy Mac is all about it also. The wants to keel going and the wants me to come with him. 

To discuss still: 

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando 

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis 

Escape as a coping mechanism 

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Notable places visited:

Went to Axx Sxxxx’x house in winter garden, after going to outback. Lots of steak this week. Took a weird long way home through Apopka. 

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading: 

Eating:

Starbucks 

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received: 

eBay obsessions: 

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day: 

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags: 

12.07.18

Sommelier level 1 course: day 1. My boy Mac who I work with and I are here. Ritz-Carlton off of Koh young pkwy in Orlando. Way too early for me to be awake. I ended up waking at 5:30 to get moving. On a little break just now, after the first leg of slides. They gave us a physical copy of the huge pdf they emailed us. I’m scribbling notes as they lecture.  

—-

Hell of a long day. Got maybe 3 and a half hours of sleep? Came to the Ritz Carlton and downloaded 10 hours of information. Me and my boy Mac are as ready as we’re gonna be for tomorrow. 

After some introductory shit, It was pretty much all France today. We also tasted 12 different wines today. Surprisingly I’m not wasted. I pretty much spit everything out for the most part. 

Feeling more confident after today. But tomorrow is gonna be most of everything else: Germany, Spain, Italy, America and Australia I think. I didn’t even touch America or Australia. 

70 questions. I only need 60% to pass. That’s 42 correct questions. I can do this. 

To discuss still: 

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando 

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis 

Escape as a coping mechanism 

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading: 

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received: 

eBay obsessions: 

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day: 

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags: 

12.06.18

Ate a lot of meat yesterday. Craving more today. Also I seem to be having some mood related swings. In the shower today I was overwhelmed by sadness for a fleeting minute. Yes, it was relative to Axxxxx and how I blew it. 

Death cab for cutie playing in this Outback Steakhouse. Shoving a wedge salad into my face. The pen has ahold me; I smoked off of Tina’s cartridge because she wanted me to try it and see  if it was harsh. And it was. That didn’t stop me from taking a rip, and then another. 

I unfocus my eyes and stare through one of the tv screens playing basketball recaps. The pen has me in a daze. I finish chewing through this ribeye. Leaving nothing but a few green beans. Coffee after this undoubtedly. Me and my routines.  

—-

Time in Bradenton after Alaska with Danielito and the rest of my family:

My brother and I discussed me coming back and all we would do is smoke and watch YouTube videos, and goddam if we didn’t do just that. He was working a lot so I would also spend time with his gf Kristy. She enjoyed the company as my brother would later tell me. And I wouldn’t see why not seeing as my bro and I are similar dudes.  

Spending time with my mother was nice. Since we spoke every day over text we were pretty caught up when she and Rachel picked me up from the airport. 

—

Just interacted with an extremely enthusiastic barista at Starbucks. White girl, pretty perfect makeup, and ‘Disney cast member’ levels of energy and excitement. 

—

At a weird spot in town: 434. I’m not too familiar with this area. It’s hilly, which is uncharacteristic. That being said, I feel like I’m elsewhere.  On the road somewhere maybe. Different place, different climate as well since it’s actually cold today. And by that I mean 69°

To discuss still:  

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando 

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis 

Escape as a coping mechanism 

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Notable places visited:

Johnny’s fillin station for a date with Penny

Hung with Christine at her temporary Airbnb 

Listening to:

The agency - engines

Vulpeck - the beautiful game 

PHOX - PHOX

Lucius - Wildewoman 

Lucius - good grief 

Jeff Rosenstock - worry. 

Watching:

Reading: 

Eating:

Outback Steakhouse. Had a 10oz. Ribeye and green beans. Shrimp and garlic topper on the steak 

Starbucks cold brew with heavy cream and a shot 

Coffee from Austin’s 

Burger with no bun from Johnny’s filling station 

Salad with blue cheese dressing   

Playing:

Purchases:

A couple things from BAMF comics and collectibles 

Terminator ReAction figure

Vintage Star Wars figs:

Complete loose Lando Calrissian 

Complete loose Tusken Raider

Packages received: 

Not so much a package but Christine gave me a copy of MFing Wine Folly! Not too shabby at all. Nice thoughtful gift seeing as I’m doing my sommelier course tomorrow/Saturday 

eBay obsessions: 

Robotech action figures 

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day: 

“I can’t get into it” - my server at outback in regards to water. WATER! 

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags: 

12.05.18

Driving to Bradenton from Orlando: 

I like to take the scenic route to bradenton. Meaning, ill pull off at random exits to find a weird gas station, or a coffee. Always stop at the rest stops if I can remember. 

Its a road trip so I treat it like one, even f its only a couple hours. 

The last time I went, I checked out a vintage video game store in Largo I believe it was. Ended up going the St Pete way to bradenton. 

Driving to bradenton is part of my attempt to not be a deadbeat family member. To see them once a month if possible. Which with the slightest amount of planning, of course it’s possible.

Ive had this rental car since I got back to Orlando. A new Nissan Altima. Love the thing, but paying out the ass for the convenience. I’ve been slowly talking with  a couple places to try and get a vehicle but its slow going. Mostly because im semi lazy and have this vehicle already haha. 

Speaking of bradenton, I need to get the logistics down about getting the Game Cube station from my brother and bringing it up here somehow.

—

Feeling abnormally tired lately. Maybe I’m not gettin the right kind of sleep. Definitely  getting coffee. 

—

Coffee got. Strolling around the Altamonte mall solo. I spend a lot of time alone lately. Ive felt alone since  Alaska. 

Just a slow wave of sadness just underneath my surface. I need to exfoliate it. I will only achieve that with fulfilling things and people and experiences 

—-

There’s a dumpster in the winter park village; I just walked by it. One time, Axxxxx and I came dumpster diving over this way. We found a pretty sweet painting among other stuff in one of the dumpsters. I ended up hanging it up at the sumner house in Kissimmee. 

That place was once mine alone, and then she lived there briefly with me before we drove to Alaska.  

So yeah I just walked by the dumpster, and the swell of sadness rolled up on me. 

Everything around here is a memory of us. This may be part of the reason for my depression. I’m swimming around in memories all over town. I’m not safe because we’ve been every fucking where around here.  

And I sit at this red light with my head in my hand, crushed for a moment, due to life 

To discuss still: 

Time in Bradenton after Alaska with Danielito and the rest of my family 

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando 

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis 

Escape as a coping mechanism 

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Sufjan Stevens - songs for Christmas 

Deftones - Saturday night wrist 

Team Sleep - s/t

The reign of kindo - play with fire 

The reign of kindo - rhythm, chord and melody  

Brightwood - wake 

The reign of kindo - this is what happens

Queens of the Stone Age - songs for the deaf

Watching:

Bojack Horseman

Reading: 

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot 

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink 

Wheat grass juice powder 

Ribeye and creamed spinach from Longhorn steakhouse 

1/2 chicken from Pollo Tropical

pistachios after hitting the pen all night

Playing:

Purchases:

‘Choices’ by Jermaine Rogers 

Packages received: 

eBay obsessions: 

Deftones vinyl records

Lyric of the day:

“Bring me a reason to cry and I’ll shed you a tear” - the reign of Kindo 

Quote of the day: 

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags: