#Its just here he's starting to experiment and I'm actually really happy he did!

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

On occasion, I swear I get undertones from the side of the fandom that liked the season 5 finale that “if you didn’t enjoy it, you must not be smart enough to understand it”…

But… that’s kind of a really stupid argument?

Is this not a TV show intended for 5-12 year olds? If the writing is too complicated for a grown adult to understand, then they have failed at writing a good kids show. Point blank period.

You can write a good kids show that has elements that go right over the kids heads, but those elements should be subtle bonuses that mildly improve the story. They should not be a key part of the overall message. A great little example is this scene from Bluey where the titular character finds an obnoxious "lost" toy hidden under the sink in the laundry room:

Adults and older kids watch this scene and immediately get why the toy was under the sink, but little kids probably miss it. That's not a problem because the sink thing is just a bonus joke that is not vital to the message of this episode. If the sink joke was vital to understanding the message, then the writers would have failed at their job because they wrote something too subtle for the intended audience.

That's why I'm so critical of everything Miraculous is doing. Even if there's ultimately going to be an amazing story here, they've failed to tell it in a way that the intended audience can engage with and that makes the story objectively bad no matter how good it is for older viewers. The lessons should be obvious. The jokes should be obvious, too. There should be no question about what the message is.*

The season five ending is a perfect example of why Miraculous is objectively bad for its intended audience. Lets say that season six is going to address all of the issues with Gabriel and tell us that he was an abusive monster. How powerful is that lesson going to be to the five-year-old who grows out of the show in the year between season five ending and season six airing? What about the kid who obsessively rewatches seasons one to five in the hiatus between seasons and internalizes the happy ending? Or the kid who only watches the show casually and doesn't remember most of the early seasons by the time their issue are addressed?

Obviously those kids won't walk away with a great lesson, which is why shows aimed at kids usually make their morals clear by the end of every episode. Complex morals told over seasons are a bad fit here. Kids in the show's intended age group are only just starting to really learn about the complexities of the world. They generally don't have the life experience to question the show's morals.

That's not to say that shows for kids can't have cliffhangers. The cliffhangers just need to be about the story, not the morals. Season four was a good example of this. While I don't think it was a great final, it did have a clear message. It ends with Ladybug stating what she'd supposedly done wrong - even if season four didn't actually have her do what she said she did - and the question was only what would she do now. There was no moral ambiguity about what happened. Every episode of Miraculous should feel that way, but the show often fails at this. There's way to much ambiguity for a kids show. The fact that many adults can't tell if Gabriel was evil or not is a terrible sign!

*I will note that even perfectly clear messages can be twisted into baffling shapes by viewers of all ages and people will read into things in ways that leave even talented writers scratching their heads. The pigeon thing comes to mind as a good, Miraculous-based example of poor media literacy. So I wouldn't go so far as to say that a kids show is always bad if adults misinterpret things. It depends on how widespread the misinterpretation is and how logical the misreading is. The season five ending is a good example of a true issue because it's played like a happy ending. It's not weird that some people took that at face value while others are waiting for the other shoe to drop. Only time will tell which side is right, which should not be the case when we're dealing with content like the widespread manipulation of an abuse victim in a show aimed at children. That should be presented as unequivocally wrong. Instead, the lies lead to a kiss and happy smiles.

[robotnikholmescomicblog]

You bet your ass they’d recreate part of Sonic CD’s animated opening cutscene! It’s used as the set-up for the rest of the issue, though thankfully Classic Sonic does still talk instead of being the silent protagonist.

One thing to note that I think goes underappreciated is the colouring of this issue. For damn near three years, colourist Gabriel Cassata’s contributions have been either mildly decent or extremely flat and washed out. And yet, seemingly getting a stroke of inspiration for this issue and this issue alone, he includes these really cool brush strokes and details to imitate the hand-drawn cutscene’s vibrancy?? Where was this talent beforehand! xD

[cheriladycl01]

I'm not scared! Colby Brock x MotoGPDriver! Reader Part 1

Plot: You made a tweet about Sam and Colby and were in a podcast and they brought up Sam and Colby where you talked about the paranormal and how it doesn't really scare you because you drive motorcycles at over 200mph.

A/N: This has been sat in my drafts for a while coz i was kinda scared to post it, coz its a new reach of people I'm looking for.

It started off with a silly little tweet you'd made in the summer break when you werent racing. You didn't feel like watching old F1 or MotoGP races and there was no movie that immedielty came to mind.

So you scrolled through youtube. At first it was a documentary about the ocean, and you had to switch it out. Which is how you came across a channel called Sam and Colby, two American boys who... well you didn't actually think they had a 'thing:

Your YouTube consisted solely of vlogs and car/bike videos that you did. That was your niche. However these two didn't seem to have a specific niche, you perused them seeing that they vlogged and did challenges and prank video and even back in the day were part of vine.

The most recent things they'd been sticking too by the looks of things were these paranormal investigations. They went to these haunted places with cool gear and filmed the experience. You were very intruiged as the paranormal was something you'd believed in just never interacted with.

After watching them bring people on, and be scared shitless you knew you'd boss something like this.

You were alone in your house, drinking which is where the tweet actually came from.

There was a lot of action from both fans of motorsport and YouTube fans. You of course got some hate from the tweet from the YouTube side and hence started the fued between your fans and Colby and Sam fans.

It wasn't until the podcast you went on that the duo took notice of you.

"So today I'm here in the studio with Y/N, now this I think is an intertsing podcast for both of us, because you've only been on Motorsport related ones so far correct?"

"Yes" you smile nodding. You'd actually been on a few podcasts as you really enjoyed talking to people and hearing their stories and being able to talk about your own experiences and hardships.

You started of with the generic motorsport questions, that were all angled at you being a woman in motorsport. Which you enjoyed as you knew getting to the position you had now was a hard hard feat you managed to overcome.

He then got onto more general questions about you life, which again you were happy to answer.

"I do have something that people asked me to ask when we first annouced you here and that was about the tweet with Sam and Colby?" he says looking to his notepad making sure he was keeping in his order.

"Mmmm, what about it?" you smile knowing this was going to be a thing.

"So you basically said along the lines of, if you were in a Sam and Colby video that you wouldn't be scared, why is that?" he asks tilting his head to the side.

"Well, not much scares me when i drive motorbikes at roughly 250 kmph. You know, I've come off those bikes and had my life flash before my eyes as I go into the barrier. One of my worst crashes nearly killed me, but I got back on the bike, one I healed and I won my first race back in Lusial. As part of the Red Bull family I've helped them with some crazy challanges, beat Max Verstappen in an F1 car and lots more. So i think it would genuinely take a lot to scare me!" you smile explaining your thought process behind your tweet and how you think you'd genuinely react.

"So I'm guessing you'd be like down to collab with them at some point!" he asks.

"Yeah of course, I know these things take time to plan so obviously you know with both our busy schedules it probably wouldn't be anytime soon, but you never know!" you grin and after a few more questions before the podcast ends.

It was around a week later, you were in your home gym getting some weight training in when a message dings up. You stop the current exercise your doing to check it.

It was an instagram DM from the Sam and Colby official account. You click on the notification to go onto the chat to look at what they'd messaged you.

Of course you immedielty replied. You exchanged numbers with both the boy's before Colby made a group chat asking when you were free.

It was harder to find times than you expected, the next time you all would be free was during your winter break from racing. Which was risky to confirm anything, especially to their fans as anything could happen to you in that time.

You agreed on a date and time to tell your fans.

The next step was you inviting them to a race weekend, you wanted to meet them but obviously didn't have much time between races. So you invited them to your home race at Silverstone in the United Kingdom.

They decided to make it a whole thing, where they explored some haunted places across England after coming to see you at your race.

You decided to meet them at the airport first and you couldn't hold in your nerves to meet them, you never had the best people skills which is probably why you went into the career path that you did.

You waited for them in the arrivals area, it wasn't too busy due to the time of the day, just a few business men in suits. You looked around for a board to see when their plane had landed, but could find one.

"Y/N?" you hear from behind you.

A/N: I don't know what the fandom's like on here, but I just like writing about cool situations that help with writers block for writing my book! If you follow me for F1 and General Motorsports this is me branching out my writing into another hyper fixation of mine that’s been around for a while!

[eddiezpaghetti]

Okay, so my experience with Stranger Things is a weird one.

I didn't care when it first came out, started to watch it out of "might as well" in 2020, wasn't interested in it enough to make it past S2, forgot about it outside of going "oh, hey, cool, there's a lesbian in it now, I guess," in S3, got really annoyed when "Running Up That Hill" got popular from it because it was a song I listened to on fucking loop after one of my best friends died in high school and I fully expected its appearance in the show to ignore the whole survivor's guilt theme of the song (and was very happy to learn later that it did the exact opposite of ignoring the lyrics), saw people drawing Eddie, suddenly got a lot more interested, watched just the fourth season like a fucking psychopath because I was seriously only there for Eddie, then got interested enough to start the show over properly, having mostly forgotten what I did watch of the show before.

And let me tell you something from the perspective of someone who started with the complete fourth season, who wasn't there from the start, who wasn't tainted by ship goggles or this internal battle of hope and despair, who wasn't theorizing about what the painting could be or expecting Mike and Will to kiss when Volume 2 happened or rooting for Mike and Eleven's relationship to go down in flames or whatever the fuck. Just someone who went blind into Season 4.

It's really fucking obvious that Will and Mike are gonna be endgame.

Like holy fuck. It's so fucking blatant I don't even know why people are nervous.

No sane fucking person would shoot this scene this way if they wanted the audience to care about El and Mike as a couple. Despite being all blurry in the background, Will's reaction to what's happening here is smackdab in the fucking middle, clearly showing that the important part is what's going through his head here. What he's feeling. It's like the opposite of that scene from Kingdom Hearts II where Sora and Riku reunite and Kairi just fucking vanishes into the aether while it's happening because, despite the fact that she was standing between them when the scene began, she doesn't matter to the scene, so she's just kind of gone when the camera angle changes. Will could have been behind one of their heads, or so far in the distance he blends in with the background, but he's not. He's so obvious that despite being massively blurred out, he's still the first goddamn thing you look at. What, you think that's an accident? You think he's in the middle of this dramatic fucking scene because of a mistake? He basically has a big flashing neon arrow pointing at him with "THIS IS THE POINT" being screamed through a megaphone.

And then this?

They're paired up like they're taking fucking prom pictures. Each one of these pairs is so fucking close to one another and so fucking far from everyone else. It's not, "Oh, they're standing vaguely near each other in a group shot," it's fucking Noah's Ark out here. Again, there's no way to take this as an accident. It's not just a framing issue. If they wanted to make the shot look balanced while still not hiding anyone else behind El, they would have scattered people around much more naturally. Even if they wanted to keep Nancy with Jonathan and Hopper with Joyce, there's so much room on that hill for three people to stand on El's left and three on her right. But they didn't do that. They put Mike and Will together on purpose in the most obvious way possible.

Like I get that coming up with crackpot theories is fun in and of itself and I'm not blaming anyone for having fun. I totally get the appeal of arguing a point and reaching for every stupid little thing to pull into it because it's like a game, okay? I've done that. But if you're trying to actually convince someone (whether it's someone who wants to believe or someone who's pissed at the very idea that Mike and Will could be in love), stay away from blue and yellow lights, stay away from costume design, stay away from the existence of closets in backgrounds. And don't worry about whether Mike's gay or bi when he's in love with Will either way. I'll give you a little tip about persuasion: You're only as strong as your weakest argument. Even if you've got strong stuff in there, too, the person you're trying to convince is going to dismiss anything you say as complete insanity the second you start going on an entire tangent about the shape of a character's fucking pocket.

Sometimes, clothes are just clothes. Sometimes, there's a closet in the background because it helps establish that a character is in a bedroom. Sometimes, blue and yellow are just a couple of colors that look nice together. And sure, it might be set designers and costume designers and cinematographers smirking and winking at the audience from behind the camera. But if the show was just those things, instead of those things in the context of everything else, they wouldn't be saying anything of note.

But this?

This tells a story all on its own. Someone with no context can look at this and automatically assume that each paired person is standing with someone they care about deeply, seeking comfort as they watch some sort of disaster unfold. And yeah, romantic couples usually come in twos, and we live in an amatonormative society, so that's going to be the first association anyone makes seeing a bunch of people paired off.

It's the same reason you look at this

And go, "Oh..."

"Those two are probably a couple."

And I genuinely don't understand how people could have watched S4 Vol. 2 and gotten scared. Because as someone who went in with no investment whatsoever, I just looked at these two--

--and went, "Oh, those two are a couple. Good for them." And I moved on. Shut up about the trees for five seconds and just see the forest for what it is.

Oh, and if you're still nervous? Little thing from a storyteller here: You don't leave a hanging thread like "Will confessed his romantic feelings for Mike by projecting them onto El, but Mike either didn't understand or at least didn't say he understood," without coming back to that later. That's Chekov's gun hanging on the wall, babes. It's gonna fire at some point. If Mike was going to reject Will's feelings, if they weren't relevant, they would have had that discussion in Argyle's van. There'd be no reason to leave you in suspense.

[bambrinaa]

HIII i actually have a request if u do genderfluid readers 😋😋 if u do could you do something with the reader not being out yet so when they stare at a dude hobie kinda assumes the worse ?? then they gotta explain they wanna BE him not WITH him yk

bonus if reader is constantly presenting very fem so its a bit of a surprise idk thank u 🤞🤞🤞

a/n: hii angel! of course I can do that, I hope this does my genderfluid babes justice <3

warnings: afab!genderfluid!reader x unlabed hobie?? he fws what he fws, anxiety on hobs part, gender envy on yours, albeit bad descriptors of being genderfluid? I'm trying. he thinks you're cheating/losing interest, british grammar???

You're out on a walk with Hobie, him wanting to take you to his favourite punk shops - buying you whatever you liked from in there cause he's just happy you're liking his style. You're all skirts and blouses - but you don't always want to be that. Sometimes you like it, sometimes it makes you want to crawl out of your own skin because you want to be more masculine that day, week, however long, but you're limited. Baggy clothes just won't cut it anymore.

So, whilst you were sat on a bench, enjoying your food with Hobie and you saw a boy walk past who is just radiating gender envy into you, your eyes stayed glued to him. They way his clothes can be stuck to him with no chest in the way, his hair short but fluffy, his rings decorating his slender, short nailed fingers, Hobie notices. He noticed your lack of response to what he had said before, he looked at you. Then looked where you were looking, his brows pinching together. He then watched you stare at this guy with so much intensity, it's as if he wasn't here at all.

"Wha' Ya know 'im?" He asked, still staring at you and your body language, a familiar unease bubbling in his stomach from the last experiences he's had with unfaithful girlfriends.

"Huh? Oh..no, no I don't." You said, finally taking your eyes off him and making eye contact with your now unhappy, nervous boyfriend.

"Oh? Why you starin' like tha', then?" He grabbed the drink out you lap, taking a long sip of it whilst staring at you over the bottle. His throat feels dry. Is the bottle shaking? Why are his hands shaking?

"I liked..his tee shirt. It had a cool band on it." You lied through your teeth, and Hobie could tell. He slightly shifted in his seat, deciding to leave this little problem for when you were back at his flat.

"Aight.." He shrugged, putting all your stuff into a bag. "C'mon, les do the res' of the shops before they close." He mumbled as he stood up, and you were expecting him to take your hand, but he didn't, now giving you the uneasy feel of dread in the bottom of your stomach. What had you done? The rest of the walk around was mainly quiet, Hobie only making a few comments here and there, but he never actually spoke first. He was just replying to you. You walked back to his flat in the quiet, your hands in the pocket of his jacket he let you wear once it got cold. He's upset but you're still his girl. Are you his girl?

You furrowed your brows, trying to figure out where you went wrong this afternoon. You guys were having such a good time, 'why did he go quiet? Did he want the last cookie you took? No, he wouldn't get upset over something as silly as that. Did he not like the drink you chose? He drank it, it couldn't of been that bad. Why did he start asking about that guy that walke pas- oh fuck. He thinks I was checking him out. Fuck, fuck! how could you be so stupid? He sees his girlfriend starin' at a guy of course he's gonna assume that! How do I tell him I want to be him? Not be with him?'

You enter the flat behind him, shutting the door quietly behind you and taking off your shoes. You watch him wall over to his sofa, sitting himself down with a sigh before looking over to watch you. Seeing the worry and guilt etched onto your face, he spoke up.

"Ya' aight, doll?" He asked, almost in a whisper, not really wanting you to reply.

"We needa talk." You said, walking over towards him. He felt his heart drop, feeling like all his fears were coming true in one afternoon. He crossed his arms defensively over his chest, giving a small nod.

"Go on." He glanced off to the side.

"That guy today? I wasn't...I didn't check him out." You said, sitting in the armchair just opposite him, fiddling with your rings.

"Wha' was tha', then? Hm? 'Cause it certainly looked like you was checkin' 'im out." He said almost roughly, the tone making you wince. He's getting defensive, that's understandable.

"No, love - I wasn't. I..fuck. This is going to sound insane, and you're probably gonna feel differently once I say it but I have to say it, I do, i-"

"So say i'." He interrupted you, narrowing his eyes slightly, frowning.

"I...I didn't want to be with him- I just...I wanted to..be him." You admitted quietly, looking down at your hands. He paused, his frown growing but now in confusion. What?

"You...wanna be a boy?" He asked slowly and carefully.

"No- well, yeah. But only sometimes. I feel more masculine than I do feminine some days, but I've been unable to express that. So what you were seeing wasn't attraction, it was envy. Envy that he could look so boyish without even trying, just putting on clothes, not trying to be masculine." You huffed, your voice slightly saddened. Hobie was probably gonna feel completely different about you now.but it's better than him thinking you were going to cheat someday.

He stayed eerily quiet, staring at you. Studying you. Was that true? he couldn't tell. He's leaning more towards yes, though. Nobody would be this worried about this eccentric of a lie.

"Aight..'ow long 'ave you felt this way?" He carefully asked, sitting more upright.

"Since I was a kid, really. I only just realised recently what it was, though. My "tomboy" phase. When I started developing 'n' my clothes got baggier as my chest got bigger, but then I'd wear low cut things, I-..I'm sorry you only just found out - that I only just told you. I didn't know how to approach it, y'know? It's not an easy subject to come by. Hey it's your girlfriend, I sometimes don't wanna be your girlfriend cause I wanna be your boyfr-" He cut your rambling off by pressing a sweet kiss to your lips, his hand on your cheek. He brushed your hair behind your ear, pulling away from they kiss.

"Ay, listen. Tha's fine. I don' see ya any differently. Ya still the love of my life, yeah? Don' worry 'bout it, luv.If you wan', ya can have a bunch of my old clothes, for when ya feel like a lad. Can help you make fits." He comforted you, bringing you closer to him.

"Jus' tell me when ya' start feelin' like tha', yeah? I wouldn't wanna do sum' that makes my love uncomfortable." He said to you, kissing your cheek softly, then your temple, then your forehead. You smile, feeling like you could just cry from how accepting he was of that, of you.

"You'd really do that for me?" You mumbled, making him nod instantly.

"Of course, baby."

"And you don't feel any differently towards me?"

"No' in the sligh'est."

"You still love me?"

"I love you even more each second. Tha' ain't gon' change. I fell in love wit' ya, darlin'. Ain't gonna care 'bout you wantin' to be like that sometimes. Jus' means you can be like me." He smiled, kissing all over your face in-between his words, really wanting you to know he means that. You couldn't help it, a stray tear rolled down your cheek. And he wiped it away immediately.

"Nah, don' cry, my love. 'Cause then you're gon' make me cry." He mumbled, his hand sliding through your hair and to the back of your head, bringing you closer and kissing you again, sweetly and softly. You returned the kiss, of course. He gave you a few more quick kisses, before pulling away, his hand staying put.

"You wan' go pick sum aftershave ou' from my collection?" He offered.

© WEBDOLLZZ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.

[fuctacles]

The last chapter is here! With the 2nd art piece from @penny00dreadful I'm so glad I could work with her for the @steddiebang2024 <3 It was a wild ride but it's finally done!

Steve opens the bathroom door, releasing the steam from his shower so he doesn't slow cook himself while finishing his evening routine. 

"Would you mind if I changed up the bathroom? The dark colors aren't doing this for me!" he calls out with half a smirk while fishing out his toothbrush.

"Yes, I would mind!" Eddie answers him loudly through the distorted voice from the walkie. Steve only smiles to himself and starts brushing his teeth. 

He doesn't realize he has company until something appears in the fogged corner of his mirror. Eddie draws him a frowning face, making Steve raise his eyebrows. 

"I'm not actually going to change your bathroom, calm down."

There is clearly not enough room for Eddie to express himself, so he only adds an exclamation mark. Steve walks over to the bathroom door. 

"What is it?" he asks, mildly annoyed.

"I've finished my book," Eddie complains through the walkie placed on the bed. 

On Steve's spare pillow lies another Pratchett book he managed to hunt down. It's indeed flipped to its last page. 

"Already?! You just started it!"

"I started it two hours ago," Eddie corrects him.

"Still! If you keep reading this fast there won't be enough books in the store!"

"There are other stores. Will you please bring me another one?"

Steve crosses his arms.

"Or you could go to sleep." He points out, raising an eyebrow. 

"Pleeease Steve. Only one chapter. I'll be good."

Steve sighs. He's heard these 'one chapter' lies for almost half of his life. 

"Fine. But don't come complaining when you run out of things to read."

"I won't! Promise."

He acts grumpy but is more than happy to bring Eddie his books. Hearing his excitement when Steve brought them was reward enough. Now he grabs the rest of the books from the pile and brings them back to spread them on the bed. 

"Pick your poison, Munson."

Eddie hums through the walkie-talkie. 

"The Gaiman one looks good."

"Okay." Steve swaps his previous book with the new one. He can almost imagine a man lying next to him on his stomach, flipping it open. 

"Thanks, man."

"Don't mention it." Steve gets up to switch off the light. "This okay?" he asks, trying to gauge if the bedside lamp's light is enough to read by. 

"Yeah, it's alright."

He walks back to bed to tuck himself in for the night even though he knows he won't fall asleep anytime soon. It's too new, being able to hear Eddie by his side and see the evidence of his presence in the flipping pages. 

"Is it fun?" he asks, unable to stop himself. 

"It seems promising. I could read it for you?" Eddie offers. 

"Oh. No, it's alright." He wants to but doesn't want to ruin Eddie's experience. He's been so excited to get his hands on the new books. 

"It's no problem, really. I'd love to use my new voice privileges."

Steve chuckles at that. 

"Well then, by all means."

Eddie doesn't hesitate and even through the radio static, manages to pull Steve into the story. It shouldn't be surprising that he likes storytelling and showmanship, adding unique voices to all the characters. It's a shame that Steve falls asleep before the end of the chapter. 

Eddie's hair is splayed over the pillow like a dark cobweb. He's shaking, little tremors running through his body, and his mouth is open in a perfect o-shape. Steve feels the need to spit right into it and he doesn't hesitate long to indulge that thought. The loud moan he gets in response is all the reward he needs.

"Thank you, holy shit, thank you," Eddie mumbles after swallowing the spit given to him. The blissed-out look on his face fills Steve with pride. He did it. He reversed the local heartthrob into a babbling mess. 

read full on Ao3

[polyamorousmood]

Hey there :)

So I have no problem with my bf dating other people, and recently hes started having sth with someone else. Good for them! Legit, no problem with that by itself

But.. now I'm being left on read a lot, like majority of the time it feels like, no matter the topic or time. I just feel.. forgotten, I think, or replaced idk. But it feels pretty bad.

I dont want them to think I'm jealous or mad, I just wish he would still show me the same attention/care as before. Ive talked about how left on read makes me very insecure, due to fake friends and person past experiences before so I dont want to bring it up again.. but it hurts. Idk what to do?

Bad news, babe. You're gonna have to say something again. The good news though is that you can productively procrastinate it, because there's some stuff I want you to do first.

But before I get into that, I let having a cool opening distract me from very important other things that need said: That sucks, and I'm really sorry, but you can make it through this.

Now then. Time to productively procrastinate a difficult conversation. Look, I'm procrastinating it more by making it a read more! (It, um, it is A Lot. I took "blogging platform" literally on this one😅)

It sucks. Believe me, it bothers me too when I can't hear from my partner📵📴 because they're with my meta. It has been A Problem I've had to work through, so I think I'm actually pretty qualified to give advice on this.

Some of what I have to say is going to smart (old-timey word for sting) a bit, so I want to make it clear that I understand where you're coming from, so you can trust the part that stings is necessary. I imagine its something like this:

You relationship with your boyfriend is great! So great, you're happy for him to have someone else to love! That's. That's so rare and incredible, its a love beyond what most will know. And then he takes that love and wads it up and throws it in the back seat to make room for this new schmuck. The love is still there, it's just... in the back seat. And you never thought that would happen, because the relationship is so good! And you already said something, so you worry you're being a nag, which you don't want, because you ARE happy for them, you're so happy for them... except when you're not because you can't be happy when he can't be bothered to text you back. Its not really so much to ask, and you EXPLAINED why its important to you, so why doesn't he seem to care? You communicated, you did your part, and it was hard and scary! Surely harder than texting you back would be! And you don't want to feel like this, but. There's this anxiety that... shouldn't he want to text you back? Isn't that how he would act if he really did still care about you just as much?

Any of that resonate? I don't know you, so maybe some of it was way off base🎯, I don't know. But I hope enough of it was close enough to right that you know I get it when I say:

This isn't just your boyfriend fucking it up. This is, in part, probably you asking something unreasonable. To give you the exact same level of time an energy as when it was just you too is a big ask. To be able to supercede his time with the other person any time you want is a big ask. If you're only okay with your boyfriend having someone else if it doesn't cut into your time at all, how okay with it are you actually?

So before you talk to him about it, you gotta step back. Its not that you're wrong for feeling sidelined. But a poly relationship just isn't going to be the exact same as a monogamous one. It it were, I wouldn't have bothered making a blog, and I wouldn't have needed to because I wouldn't have a trail of loving, wonderful, burnt to ashes monogamous relationships behind me. Let's take a deep breath together. Pause here if you need.

Now, there are some questions here that do affect what I think would be fair. For example, if you're living with your boyfriend, and he's taking you for granted, always texting the other person when he's with you, you don't have any special time with him anymore, and then when he goes out its radio silence. That's a very different situation from you being in a long distance relationship so texting is your main form of communication/bonding and now he's got a new person that lives near him so he's with them constantly and now, what are you, chopped liver? for example. I'm going to give a list of things you might be doing that's unfair, and I want you to take a minute and evaluate as honestly as you can where you fall on that. This is a self-reflection, not an accusation, so please resist any temptations to get defensive (if you even feel them). I recommend taking out a pad of paper and committing to an answer for each. Some you may not be doing at all! Some okay maybe a little. And some now that you think about it, yeah actually, you're doing a lot. That's okay. You not handling it perfectly is okay, and doesn't mean we can't ask the boyfriend for accommodations still.

Are you valuing 1:1 time with your boyfriend as much as you're valuing (negatively) the time he spends 1:1 (not texting you) with his partner? IE, are you more bothered by him not texting you than you are appreciative when he takes time for you?

Are you texting him compulsively out of anxiety instead of because you have something more important to discuss?

Are you accidentally infringing on his other partner's time?

Are you trying to infringe on his other partner's time to reassure yourself that you're important to him?

Are you texting him to "test" him?

When you communicated that you didn't like being left on read, did you properly convey how big of a problem it is for you and what your expectations were?

When you communicated, did you allow space for negotiation and to work on the problem, or was it more like a list of demands?

Are you misplacing your feelings somehow? Is there something else that's bothering you that you don't feel comfortable bringing up?

Are you letting your anxieties run you? Is there something you could be doing to address your feelings?

Are you forgetting to weigh other allocations or shows of love he's making or you?

Is there anything else internally you might be overlooking in regards to this?

Whew! Heavy stuff. But you made it!🎉 Now, we'll dig into how his actions are making you feel. That last set was about what you could be doing better, and this one will help determine he could be doing better. But just like we weren't making accusations about you, we aren't making accusations about him either. We are assuming good faith on your boyfriend's part. This is still ultimately about your feelings and what reasonable accommodations could be made for them.

Do you feel the time allocation for you vs his other partner is fair? Why?

Does he seem to text them back more than you?

Does it seem like he's not taking your concerns seriously enough?

Does this issue look like a larger pattern? If so, what? How will that look long-term?

Has he made specific promises he hasn't kept to you in regards to this? If so, what were they and how hasn't he lived up to them?

Do you feel he's made adequate time for you to discuss concerns, or do you feel like he tries to rush through them?

Do you think he gave you a reasonably clear expectation of what him dating someone else would look like (or did he make it seem "nothing will change")?

Has he not responded to something critical?

Is there anything else he's done in regards to this that doesn't sit right with you?

You did it! 🎉Now we can officially start working on problem-solving. I imagine that was a lot more than you bargained for, for such a simple problem as "I want a text back," but its important to get everything laid out. This helps in a lot of ways. It helps guard against striking on a "solution" that isn't actually sustainable. It makes sure you're starting a discussion in good faith. And hopefully, it will help minimize having to return to the issue.

For the sake of formatting, we're going to address the questions for you first, then the questions about him, then how to have the hard conversation, then workarounds that you may not have considered that aren't really your or his problem. I actually think that third group has some of the better "quick fixes", if you can find one that works.

Starting with the questions about what you could be doing better, in order, skip any that don't apply:

Re: valuing 1:1 time -- Make active efforts to appreciate the time you do have more. Use this time as a guard against negative thoughts when he is unable to respond ("We spent all day together yesterday, a few hours today without hearing from him is fine")

Re: texting compulsively -- Be more vigilant about self-soothing. I find self-talk to be most effective for me. I cannot possibly cover everything here, but it sounds like it stirs up fears you're losing your partner. Since you cannot guarantee that will never happen, I find it most helpful to reassure myself I will be okay even if I do lose them. Another option is to make a reassurance bank, where you can store and see evidence of his affection without asking it from him. Your mileage may vary. If you really struggle with this, there's always therapy.

Re: accidental infringing -- Be more mindful of what you send. Save things that are non-urgent to discuss later, when you have his attention anyway.

Re: deliberate infringing -- Stop it. It will only strain things and make the outcomes you don't want more likely. See self-soothing. Find something else to distract you that you can put energy into.

Re: "testing" him -- See above. I know, its easier said than done. Do the hard work. That shit can ruin your life.

Re: didn't adequately express importance -- Well, its a good thing we're about to talk about it anyway! Really think through how you can explain how badly it makes you feel. We'll get into that more when we discuss How To Have the Conversation

Re: list of demands -- Well, its a good thing we're going to talk about it anyway! This time, see it as a negotiation. Ask him if that's feasible, or if its too much. But open to trying alternate solutions.

Re: misplaced feelings -- Take the advice on How To Have a Conversation and apply it to the thing that's actually the problem.

Re: managing anxieties -- Again, you'll have to find a way to self-soothe somewhat. That's not to say your partner shouldn't meet you halfway, but you do have to do your half.

Re: forgetting other expressions of love -- Literally make a list of all the things he's done/is doing for you. As many as you can think of. Add to it often. Pick a couple and do a deep dive on why that mattered so much to you and how you felt. Tell him, too. You gotta be grateful consciously, bro. This applies to all of life

Re: anything else -- Take that into account. Work on that, too, however you can. Be honest with him about your shortcomings when you address it.

A lot of these will require upkeep on your part (kind of mirrors🪞how texting you back consistently requires upkeep on his, huh?). Be prepared to discuss the changing you're going to make and have an actionable plan for them. Okay, his turn, same as before:

Re: fair time allocation -- does he need to make more time for you? Do he need to make protected time that is only for you? You said you feel forgotten, replaced, so maybe this is part of it.

Re: unequal texting -- first, consider why. If he lives with you, he's probably going to have to text the other person in front of you sometimes. If you still think its too much, again, protected time for you may be appropriate, he may need to do a better job keeping his New Relationship Energy (NRE) in check. Be prepared to discuss this, possibly including him defending himself!

Re: not taking concerns seriously -- Well, its a good thing we're discussing this again! Make sure you have an actionable, measurable metric he can do to show you progress here. (IE ❌"I need you to care more" ❌ but ✅"When you're unable to respond, I need you to say that you're busy so I know you thought of my needs" ✅)

Re: bigger patterns -- You will have to tell him you're concerned about those too. If it could become untenable for you, this will probably be a recurring discussion. Consider scheduling check-ins where you say one thing you think is going well and one thing you're worried about, for example.

Re: unkept promises -- here, you are super justified in being mad. Try not to be anyway. Try to be curious and interested in addressing the root problem. Ask him what got in his way, what middle ground he's confident he can manage. It is you and him vs the problem, even here, not you vs him.

Re: inadequate room to discuss -- Set expectations before the talk, and remind him of them if he forgets. (IE "I know this isn't nice to hear, but I need you to let me say my piece and talk through solutions, even if it takes awhile." and "I said I needed to talk through the solution. This sounds nice, but I'm concerned about X. How can we make sure that doesn't happen?") Consider reserving specific time to discuss it, consider reserving recurring time to discuss any problem, if you need it.

Re: didn't set expectations appropriately -- ask. Ask what this would ideally look like to him. If he's having trouble getting started, point out some differences you've already noticed, and ask if he thinks those are the new norm.

Re: didn't respond to something critical -- Establish a way he can see what is critical and what isn't. This might be texting something that can wait, but calling for something important, for example.

Re: anything else -- address that too. Give him a chance to explain himself. etc.

Okay, you've done everything up to this point alone. You're prepped. Now How Do You Have The Conversation?

For this type of stuff, I recommend the WIBS format. That is, "When [something happens], I feel [feelings] Because [explanation] So could you please [change]". But of course, it can't be that simple either. Critically you CANNOT say "you" before the "so could you please". The example I'm about to give is going to use the texting issue specifically, but if you've done the soul searching and found there's a bigger problem you want to address (which ngl, sounds like there might be something bigger based on what you sent), adjust accordingly! This is good general advice for any tough conversation. Anyway, here's what that might look like on the texting thing:

"When I am left on read, I feel anxious and betrayed, because I've had a lot of friendships completely fall apart, and that's always how it started. So could you please make a point to text me something when you read my message, even if its just 'lol' or you saying you want to discuss it later."

But wait a minute! That doesn't include any of the bullshit I just made you do. What the hell am I trying to pull? Okay okay, so we have to modify this a bit. Our new format is going to be something more like this: "When [something happens], I feel [feelings and impact], because [explanation]. I have tried [things you've tried], and I am still struggling because [reason why that hasn't helped, including what you could do better]. So I was hoping to look at some more solutions, like, would you be willing to try [change]." Which might in practice look something like

"When I am left on read, I feel so anxious and betrayed I start spiraling thinking the relationship is doomed, because I've had a lot of friendships completely fall apart, and that's always how it started. I have tried dropping some hints and self soothing, and I'm still struggling because this is a really bad anxiety that I didn't have to deal with before recently and even with the hints I'm not getting the response rate I would like. So I wanted to talk about it and see if you'd be willing to try making a point to text me something when you read my message, even if its just 'lol' or you saying you want to discuss it later."

And then! The discussion continues. Maybe he says "oh my god, yeah, I didn't realize it was bothering you that much, absolutely I can do that" and maybe he says "I'm with you all the time how is this still a problem?" or maybe its "actually, [other partner] gets really anxious when I text, which is why I don't respond unless its important. I figured I could talk to you about dinner plans any time" and whatever the case is, you keep talking until you've set on clear goalposts and have reassurance they feel okay to all parties. So in order, your responses might be something like "are you sure you can manage that? I was really worried by my hints not being picked up on that that was the reason", "I know its a problem. That's why I'm talking to you about it. If that's not a good solution to you, let's come up with something else, because the way things are is really hard on me," and "okay. I don't want to make [other partner] anxious either, but this isn't working for me, can we find something else to try?"

Allow him to explain, be prepared to explain more yourself, and be willing to try a variety of solutions. Acknowledge

Is this my longest post yet? Maybe! Wild. Let's top it off with something easier: The Hack Solutions🧑‍💻. Sometimes, anxiety isn't logical, and goofy workarounds can be super helpful! Here are some off the top of my head, but feel free to get creative, too! Not all of these may be feasible, not all of them may help. But a lot less work than some other solutions so worth mentioning!

You said being "left on read" is what bothers you. Can you just... turn off read receipts? Or switch to a messaging app that doesn't have them? Can he just not read your texts until he has the time to respond?

A lot of phones have a driving mode, that will send an automated reply to texts. Can he turn that on when he's with his other partner so you get a reply like "hey I'm busy rn, but I'll text back later!" and would that help?

If you just want to feel more involved, maybe it would help if he just like, took a picture of his pizza to send to you. Reminds you you're thought of, doesn't require conversation.

Something that I've done with friends is write like, a dozen short affirmations/reassurances, and have them keep them in a special spot. When they need to feel loved, they can take one out to read. This has worked PHENOMENALLY for them, and still protects your partner's time away while allowing you to get love direct from your partner WHENEVER you want.

Can he just kick it with you both concurrently?

Can you have a friendship with your meta where you text THEM like "tell [bf] to text me back real quick" and then your bf doesn't feel bad about texting in front of the other partner because they're telling him to do it?

Classically condition yourself. Like, every time he leaves you on read, eat a chocolate. And then sometimes instead of it being "boyfriend won't text me :(((" it'll be "oooo! candy time!"

ai yai yai! That's all I have, though! Come back if you need help working through some specifics. I'm very happy to help however I can. Its not your fault you're struggling with this. Most polyam relationships have to deal with this to some extent, but with a little effort, you can make it through. Best of luck to you, friend. 💙💖🖤

[tokyo-debunkers-headcanons]

Thank you for your service smol o7 this game has been on my thoughts 24/7 lol so it’s nice to see someone writing for it!!

I was hoping I could request some jealousy headcanons about the ghouls being pouty MC is hanging out with others so much because of their missions with other houses. In particular I was hoping for my boy Haku (I know we don’t have a main chapter for him yet but he did have those two chunks of screen time—if he’s too difficult because of not enough info don’t worry about it then!); as well as maybe Jin, Luca and whoever else you’d like!

Thanks again~

Just like another ask i got, I'm gonna write Haku based on the vibe I got from him. This could be proven entirely inaccurate in the later game and I am okay with that lol. I'm gonna round it to an even four characters. All these will be before any relationship actually happens. Like there's a crush there but no one has said anything yet.

And thank YOU for sending in a request and enjoying!

Be aware! These will contain minor spoilers for episode 3!

JIN KAMURAI

I feel like silver spoon Jin has no experience with certain types of jealousy. Materialistic jealousy? Doesn't know her. But when he heard how close MC had been getting with some of those Vagastrom thugs? Oh it made his blood boil.

At first I'm sure he thought it was because on of his orders was being defied. But that feeling only got stronger when MC was finished with Vagastrom and moved onto Jabberwok.

Good luck to Tohma because mans here does not know what to do about these emotions. This is one of those problems that can't be fixed with money and he is NOT happy about it. He goes back to brooding in his room for a while to think things through.

He will not tolerate any disrespect from any theories that the Frostheim gossip elite have. But when he noticed the like dove flying in the direction of MC'S dorm, things suddenly started to click in his head.

LUCAS ERRANT "LUCA"

Our boy here is another one who isn't necessarily familiar with jealousy. Its for similar reasons of, he comes from a well off family, but different in the way he was raised and things he's been through as a little kid.

He's glad to see MC making more friends and making possible progress on breaking their curse, at first. When they get to Jabberwok however, he hears from Kaito that their vice captain Towa is a bit of (how Kaito put it), "a fucking weirdo", which gives him some pause.

When Kaito came running up to Luca showing him a WickChat post about MC having a possible boyfriend (its false, its just Towa being affectionate and someone saw). He feels his heart sink a little bit

He made a mental note to text MC later to ask about it and get all the information he could about their relationship and about the Jabberwock students. He promised to protect MC not matter what. Hopefully they could explain the strange twist in his chest while they talked too.

ALAN MIDO

He doesn't really get jealous. Period.

I think he's the kind of guy to know how strong he is, he knows his reputation. He's tech hopeless, not a moron. So just being around him can scare off people from getting too close to MC while he's around.

He himself overheard about MC having a possible boyfriend (same post from Luca's) from Leo telling Sho. He didn't pay any real mind to it until he heard Leo mention how affectionate they were.

That's the one thing he gets jealous about. He's a bit more aware of his feelings than people might think, so he knows he has a crush on MC. He just hasn't had the time to tell them that.

The rumor takes some wind out of Alan's sails for sure. He's more likely to believe that MC would pick someone else over him since I think he'd be more hesitant on something like physical affection.

He knows his strength and he knows MC'S ability, he would be too afraid that he'd lose control and do something else he might regret, so out of everyone on this list. I think Alan would be the one to take longer to confess because of jealousy and his insecurities.

HAKU KUSANAGI

I don't remember if it's explicitly said anywhere (my memory sucks butt I'm sorry) but he gives older sibling energy with how he cleaned up after Taiga in the prologue. So I KNOW he's been worried about MC since they last saw eachother.

He was at least somewhat relieved when he found them hanging out with the Frostheim second years, but there was a pang in his he couldn't quite place. He chalked it up to just being a worrywart and left it alone.

But when he heard that MC had gone missing in episode 3, he was READY to jump in to go help the search and rescue team. His heart was racing and he was suddenly confronted with feelings that were coming out of left field (no they weren't)

When MC returns back safely, Haku has half a mind to go fight with the professor Hyde about sending the very human honor student on such dangerous missions. He keeps a much closer eye on them from now on and with his status as an heir to (what i assume) is a beloved shrine, he tries to request that MC be sent to work with Hotarubi next.

[retroellie]

Dating Daryl Dixon in eras

Summary: What it would be like to date Daryl in different eras of the show

A/N: I don't really talk about my personal life on here because yall are here to get horny not sad, but I've been going through it. My girlfriend broke up with me, so I've been needing some Daryl Dixon in my life rn. This is just a bunch of ideas put together because I'm sad lol, but enjoy :)

Warnings: Normal TWD things and NSFW mentions

Word count: 4.2K

Short hair era/ Farm

-this was not his best era, he was a complete dick head to not only you but everyone else

-I wouldn’t even say that y’all were dating around this time because Daryl didn’t see you as his girlfriend, he looked at you more like a fuck buddy

-he refused to call you his girlfriend and he scolded you when you would call him your boyfriend, but y’all were weirdly together-ish?!?

-he was so up his brothers ass that he didn’t have time to have a girlfriend plus he always said he only fucked girls not dated them, “relationships are for pussies” he would tell you

-you did enjoy the sex but somewhere around that time you started to actually fall in love with Daryl Dixon

-You hated when Merle and Daryl were together and it was pretty much always

-Merle degraded you in so many ways and Daryl would turn the other cheek, it broke your heart every time.

-Daryl was a dick to you, yes, but he would never even think about going to Merle’s level. He never made you feel bad about yourself or made you uncomfortable, he was always somewhat respectful.

-He would even tell you that you were pretty sometimes… in his own way

-“god this shirt looks terrible on me…”

-“Shut up… your tits look nice in it”

-when you all assumed merle was dead that’s when Daryl got a bit nicer to you

-He started staying the night with you instead of fucking the shit out of you than leaving you all sweaty and sticky

-he would never cuddle you though, like ever. If you wanted to maybe wrap yourself around him, he’d let it but he wouldn’t be giving the same energy back

-He was bearable without Merle, you liked it actually

-When you guys got into the CDC building, Daryl was all over you… I mean literally

-He was always touching you in some way, holding onto your arm tightly or putting his hand on your thigh

-You knew it was because he was happy, for the first time in a couple of weeks he felt somewhat safe

-you guys definitely fucked in the shower… many times

-“Fuck… one thing I missed about the old world is hot water… and being able to fuck you anytime I wanted..” he moaned while literally rearranging your guts

-After the CDC Daryl started to appreciate you a little more, you all could’ve died… it opened Daryl’s eyes

-he realized that you were too good for him, like way too good yet you still chose him even after him being a dick to you

-Daryl would pick you flowers and lay them at your pillow at night, he was too scared to give them to you straight up but you always knew they were from him

-You realized you were in love with Daryl when you found yourself by his side after Andrea had shot him, he was all cut up and his head wrapped

-You saw how he did that all for a little girl, maybe he did have a mental breakdown but he still did it for her

-That’s when you knew you had fallen in love with him and hell maybe he was falling in love too

-You would read to him, he rolled his eyes and pouted when you did but he secretly loved it

-Daryl found himself in the woods by himself because of you… he wanted to be a better man for you, he wanted to find himself so maybe than he could be the man you deserved

Prison era

- I love this era so much because I know this man was a little horn dog towards you

- I mean he was quite literally inside of you at all times, sex was at its peak in this era

-He’s had so many near death experiences at this time that he learned to appreciate a woman’s body when he had it

- your cell neighbors hated you because no matter how quiet you tried to be, they always heard your muffled moans at night

- Daryl would be so protective of you too, when you went on runs (which were very rare since he wanted you to stay in the safety of the prison) he would have you stay behind him at all times

- “Daryl! It’s just two walkers!! I can handle it” you whisper screamed

-“Yea, two walkers that could rip out ya’ throat in a heartbeat! I said stay put!!”

-“Your no fun..” you said rolling your eyes

-He knew you could fend for yourself, you were tough but he couldn’t risk it. He would never admit it but you were his reason for breathing

-He never quite had a home, he lived in places but it was never a home to him. So finding you, someone who made him feel at home anywhere… he cherished that

-When the prison was in the first stages of development, Daryl noticed you only had one flimsy blanket you would cuddle up with at night… and the nights got cold.

-Daryl hunted for hours for a nice fluffy blanket for you, it took him hours to find one but he found the perfect one. When he got to the prison that night, walking into your shared cell, he saw your shivering underneath the thin blanket.

- He softly wrapped you up in the blanket, making sure every part of your body was covered with the soft material… you woke up that morning confused about the blanket but you knew who it was from

-you gave him head after that :)

-Whenever Daryl brought you gifts, you would savor them… even if it was a lingerie set, it wasn’t exactly flowers but it was something.

-Daryl wasn’t just protective… bitch he was also possessive

-You were his… nobody else could touch you or talk to you or even think about you. Especially men.

-it’s not that he didn’t trust you, he trusted you with his entire life but he didn’t trust other men

-He was a guy so he knew how they thought, he knew what a man can do to a girl like you and the thought of it made him angry

-Every guy in the prison knew you were off limits… like completely.

-When they tried to talk to you, literally just a normal conversation, Daryl would make it known that he would break their jaw if they made a move on you

-You didn’t mind though, you thought it was sweet and you felt protected plus the jealous sex was always a plus :)

-When the flu hit, you got sick…

-Daryl was terrified, he watched as you would cough your little heart out and you looked so sickly…

-He hated himself for allowing this to happen, he should’ve protected you even though he had no control of the virus

-“I’m sorry…” he said, watching your chest heave up and down weakly

-“Dar… honey, it’s not your fault…” you said weakly

-when Hershel found a way to stop the flu from spreading and help the sick, Daryl made him give it to you first… he couldn’t risk losing you without a fight

-It worked obviously and that was the day Daryl Dixon could see his entire life with you, he could see him walking up to you everyday… even when your all old and weak

-Daryl held you a little tighter at night now, kissed you more often and became softer with you when he fucked you

- he was starting to actually fall in love with someone, something he never knew he had the capacity to do

-Until the governor came along splitting everyone up including you and Daryl

-You found yourself alone and Daryl was stuck with Beth…

-Daryl assumed the worst, he knew you were too good for him and something was obviously going to take that away from him so he just figured it would be easier to mourn you

-Beth knew Daryl was depressed, she knew how much you meant to him and now you were gone…

- Daryl tried to act like it didn’t matter to him, he tried to make it seem like you were just another girl he had met along the way but Beth wasn’t stupid… she knew

-She tried to get him drunk, sing to him, make him forget that you were gone just for a minute… just so he could heal

-It never worked and as the days passed, Daryl gave up on trying to be sad and instead went numb

-You weren’t doing any better, you were all alone which made it so much worse.

-You cried yourself to sleep for days, holding on to the only thing you had left of Daryl… a black shirt that he mostly wore to sleep

-You we’re almost about to give up until there was a sign of the group still… that fueled you to go on, only caring to see if Daryl saw the same signs

-When you saw him again… it was when he carried Beth out of the hospital and suddenly you felt his pain… you weren’t happy to see him suddenly, wishing you could go back to your loneliness just so you didn’t have to see him the way he was

-He never talked about Beth to you… ever. You don’t know what happened on their trip, you don’t know if he even Thought of you but you knew right now he was hurting… hurting so bad that not even you could break his sadness

- Even if he was wallowing in his own pity, he still needed you. At night he would hold you close to him, he would hold your hand secretly while walking down the roads, he would always cover you up with his jacket at night

-His brother and Beth’s death changed him… Maybe for the better or maybe for the worst, which ever it was he learned to appreciate the little things now

Alexandria

-Daryl kinda retracted in this era I think, he had experienced so much loss that he became numb. He went back to his “being Merle’s little brother” mindset and he became a bit of a loner

- he also felt like such an outcast in Alexandria so he didn’t want to be there

-You made him feel better though, you would always try to include him in things

-you made it clear to him that you would much rather spend all your time with him than anyone else

-“don’t let me stop you from having fun… go to the party.”

-“no! I’m not going if you aren’t… besides, we’ll get the whole house to ourselves” you smirked

-His sex drive never slowed either which was nice but also wasn’t

-you had to share a house with your entire group to privacy was a luxury in such a small home

-The only way you were able to get Daryl into the shower was telling him that the shower was the only privacy YALL will be getting any time soon

-Let’s just say showers became yalls favorite thing

-Daryl warmed up to everything after a while, he actually kind of liked Alexandria especially after you guys were assigned a small little house for yourselves

- Again this era of Daryl was possessive as hell, like he made sure everyone knew you were his from day one

-You would always have hickeys on your neck or complain of your body hurting after a night with Daryl

-Daryl became a lot less touchy with you around this time though which was weird because he loved to touch you

-The only touch you received from him was through sex and maybe sometimes he would cuddle up with you at night, but mostly so he could press his dick on your ass go hint that he wanted you

-Daryl’s gifts also slowed too, it was rare to receive a gift from him around these times.

-You could tell Daryl was just trying to heal and cope so you didn’t mind much, you even spent those times focusing on yourself.

-You never let Daryl forget how much he meant to you though and honestly sometimes he needed that.

-Obviously Daryl wasn’t completely cold to you like he would be in the early seasons

-He made time to spend with you, he would always let you know he was thinking of you in some kind of way.

Post-negan Alexandria

-This was a extremely hard time for Daryl, after being captured and blaming himself for Glenn’s death… he was completely numb even after he had put himself back together again

-This point in time he was extremely needy though, like he needed you all the time because he was genuinely scared and he didn’t know what he was doing

-He couldn’t sleep without you there with him, if you weren’t there he would be overthinking and it would be almost impossible to fall asleep

- When he was held captive, tortured in so many devilish ways… Dwight used you as a threat

-He explained everything that he had in store for you, telling him that you were next on negans “girls to marry” list and Daryl was the only one who could stop it

-It was all lies though but Daryl believed them, almost giving in if it meant to keep you safe

-“I’m telling you Daryl… that sweet girl of yours isn’t going to be yours forever, especially if you don’t make this choice.”

-“you stay away from her… Lay a finger on her and I’ll kill you”

-When he got back, he was far more protective of you than he was before

-Daryl liked when you rubbed his back at night, dragging your fingers softly over the old and new scars on his back

-He would lay his head on you, cuddling up at your side while you laid on your back. He would look up at you, seeing you drift to sleep while rubbing his back

-Daryl always left a note for you that told you if he was leaving, it doesn’t matter how long he would be gone, he would always leave one

-He knew that him being taken scared you to death, carol told him that you were extremely depressed and wouldn’t get out of bed most of the time

-so he leaves a note just to tell you where he’s going, just so the memories of him being gone won’t fill your little head

- Daryl always says “I love you” to you as well, it’s such a common phrase to yall know because he wants you to know how much he cares about you

-This is the era when Daryl is at his bottom peak bitch… lemme tell you

-He is so broken down and afraid that he will let you take whatever you need from him plus give him what he wants

-He’s such a bottom, like a whiny bottom too

-He will beg for you to let him cum inside you or literally have tears streaming down his face while you go as slow as you possibly can while take his cock inside you

-“please… y/n please go faster…”

-“Don’t be an impatient baby… you can wait!”

-He will literally moan and whine so much, such a little baby and you’d tease him for it too

- It took him months to come back into himself, you felt like he was a shell of who he once was but Daryl always came back to you… always

-You made sure to always reassure him that you loved him and you weren’t going to leave him

-He suffered from nightmares, bad ones too and some nights they would wake up. The sad thing is, Daryl apologized for waking you up and that broke your heart

-You hated when you felt like he had to apologize to you all the time, he would say he’s sorry to you like a mantra

Whisperers Era

-This was like Ricks “death” era so this means mf was so fucking sad, like he could not forgive himself

-The months following ricks “death” though he was always gone

-It started with small trips out in the woods but it slowly turned into full weeks of you being without him

-You waited for him for the first few weeks, staying up until he came home so you could clean him up

- but then you just gave up with it and went to bed without a second thought

-You however did always make a second plate for him and left the living room light on just in case

-you would go out and find him sometimes when you had a feeling something had happened, he was always in a different spot but always by the river

-You would bring him food and clean clothes, he was always happy to see you of course but he always seemed so sad

-“Are you coming home?”

-“Nah… not yet honey.”

-He only came back when he found out about the whisperers, mainly so he could keep you safe

- As soon as he did come back though, Judith and RJ were giving to him… that only added onto his anxiety

-You saw Daryl get lost along the way, he was stressed… full of rage and hatred for this stupid group that he knew nothing about

-When y’all took in Lydia, you could see the pain Daryl felt for her… and that’s when he opened up to you about his childhood

-It was when you were finally able to cuddle up with each other and get some sleep, Daryl was cuddled up into your side as you brushed your hands through his hair

-You don’t know what triggered it but he just bursted into tears, he tried to muffle his cries in your chest

-You went silent, not exactly knowing what to do but you made sure Daryl knew you were listening… even if he didn’t want to talk

-He told you all the horrors that he went through in his childhood, how his father beat him so many times and his moms death… he even told you about the river he used to go to when he wanted to get away from everything

-You listened silently, tears falling down your cheeks as you held him so unbelievably close to you

-“I just look at that girl… I see me, I see the same damn scared look on her face” he whimpered out

-That night brought you two together, it patched up the rocky relationship that had arose due to his absence

- The whisperer had taken so many people from y’all, causing more hatred and anger to arise from Daryl but he tried to keep his cool but you knew

-You were with the small group that went out to find the herd but instead got stuck in a cave that alpha set up for you

-Daryl’s main priority was you, always and forever but especially right now

-He made sure you got through the herd first, he made sure you were able to get through the small areas of the cave first, he cuddled up next to you to make sure you were warm, he made sure you got out first

- you both were exhausted after everything the whisperers out you through but than they unleashed the herd

-You all knew it was coming but this sparked a deep fear from within you that you had from the very beginning

-“Daryl… What if this is our last fight?  I mean what if we lose?” You asked as Daryl sharpened his blade

-“We’ve always worked it out in the end hun, don’t start talking like that now.”

-That day you made sure Daryl remembered how much you loved him, you made sure you bore it into his skin

-You both made love like it was your last time doing so, filled with soft kisses and moans that you didn’t even try to hide

- Than you fought together, fighting off the herd along with the whisperers that hid between them… you made sure it wasn’t your last fight together

- when you all thought it was over, beta decided to take revenge and trap y’all in the hospital

-You went through the herd with Daryl, holding his hand like it was your reasoning for life and Daryl made sure you were safe

-After everything was said and done, life never went back to normal but all you needed was Daryl and you were happy with that

Commonwealth

-Okay this is probably my favorite Daryl era :)

-He turns into a little house husband and it’s so cute

-Y’all live in a shitty little apartment with Judith and RJ, which they have basically become yalls children

-He’ll get the kids ready while you are still fast asleep because work took it out of you

-He’ll get up extra early just to make you some breakfast even though I just know this mf is terrible at cooking REAL food

-He’ll let you take a shower after work while he does the house chores but most of the time he joins you in the shower

-Okay obviously y’all will have sex in the shower like it goes without saying butttt, after or even before he’ll just help you clean yourself up

-He’ll help lather your hair up and scratch your scalp with his finger nails, it feels so good and you’ll just go limp in his arms for a bit

-Daryl hates his job lowkey, like he’ll do it but having to go through all the training and then having to take orders?!? Daryl is a loner and he feels he is his own boss so having to follow rules is hard for him

-You make sure to make his job a little easier by packing his lunch, you’ll put candy and sweet in there for him as well as real food.. the cute part is that you always write a cute little letter for him

-“Have a good day at work my love <3 just make sure you come back to me in one piece!!”

-He’ll just smile down at it, not even attempting to hide his smile

-Everyone else will make fun of him, laughing at his silly little blush as he reads your note for him

-“Hey Dixon! Don’t get all soft on us now!”

-“Hey, you mind asking your girl to make me one too? Shit may be blowy as well!”

-“You really are head over heels for that stupid girl ain’t ya? She’s not all that.”

-Daryl doesn’t care, he spent so long trying to hide you or make your love secret that now he doesn’t even try

-Speaking if you work, you have a cute little job!

-Daryl always visits you when he gets days off and just wants to see you, he thinks you look so cute in your uniform

-You’ll light up when you see him, bring him into a big hug and than tell him how your so happy to see him even if you saw him that morning

-He’ll bring you lunch with him as well, sometimes he’ll bring Judith and RJ just so they can see where you work

-Y’all are such a cute little family and it gets me so fucking soft

- Daryl just becomes a bit softie for you omfg

-The sex gets softer too but Daryl still has his hard times with you, if you want it hard and rough that night… you don’t have to tell him twice

-Okay but when you are at work and he visits you on your lunch break, he would definitely drag you into the nearest bathroom or have you go to the back of the store just so he can take you right then and there

-You would both go to the little parties they have at the commonwealth together :) like Daryl doesn’t dance at all and he’ll probably just stand there all tough but he’d still like seeing you all dolled up

-I keep getting this image in my head of the commonwealth being the first time Daryl had ever seen you drunk, idk why but it’s stuck in my head

-You’ll be all loopy, trying to grope in through his jeans and kissing all over him

-Daryl loved how touchy you were but you were drunk and he doesn’t do that

-“Come onnn daryll…” you dragged out as you attempted to kiss his lips

-“Doll… I swear to you that I want to take you right here right now, I would give anything… but ya’ ain’t sober and I want you when you’re sober.” 

-You eventually vomited everywhere and than fell asleep but Daryl thought you were cute when your were drunk

-When Daryl got the record player?!? You literally bought all types of records

-Daryl would get out of the shower, towel wrapped around him to see you in the kitchen cooking up dinner in only his shirt and underwear, dancing around like a maniac

-He also likes fucking you to music now

-When you guys had to move out of the commonwealth you were pretty upset

-You hated what the people there were doing but you couldn’t help but love it there, you got a glimpse back to the old work

-As you were packing up, Daryl noticed how sad your were so he came up behind you and kissed your neck softly

-“I’m sorry you have to leave your home again..”

- “You’re my home… I don’t care where we go as long as we’re together.”

[justabigassnerd]

Summer of Love pt. 3

Pairing - Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x reader

Word count - 6,041

Warnings - mentions of injuries and medication, little pinch of angst, fluff, mentions of Goose and Carole

Summary - while in the final stages of recovery after a mission gone wrong, Bradley signs himself up to work at a summer camp just for something to do since Maverick has barred him from Navy work for the time being. meanwhile, you're in between jobs and figure working at a summer camp is some good experience. you meet Bradley and experience a romance you could've never expected (along with some very nosy kids)

Summer of Love masterlist

A/N - wow I'm back with a new part of Summer of Love?? this was long overdue and I kinda went off on one here so I really hope I did this series some justice with the newest part. there's actually a part in here based off something that legitimately happened to me when I worked at a summer camp in America so there's a fun fact for ya :). anyway I won't ramble, as per y'all, please send in requests, feedback, and enjoy!!!

Waking up to the sound of your alarm would normally fill you with a sense of dread at having to face a day of work, but since arriving at camp your excitement levels had been climbing with each waking moment. Today it felt like they were at an all-time high because today was finally the day that the children would arrive and camp would begin properly. You get up and change before making your way over to the dining hall to have some breakfast, greeting all your friends as you join them at the table.

“How are you guys feeling about the fact camp is going to be in full swing by tonight?” Ella asks, a clear excitement in her voice as she glances at each of you in turn, all of you nodding with wide smiles.

“I can’t wait for it to get started!” You reply, practically grinning ear to ear with excitement.

“It’s going to be one hell of an experience.” Bradley then says, his smile matching yours as the group of you continue to talk, trying to predict what the next two months could hold for you all until Kerry stands at the front of the room and addresses you all.

“Alright, you guys! As you are all aware, the kids will be arriving this afternoon so take the morning to make sure your cabins are spotless and welcoming for when the children and their parents arrive so they can feel settled the moment they arrive.” Kerry announces, looking around the room at all the excited members of staff who were eagerly anticipating the official start of the camp session.

After Kerry had finished explaining what would transpire when the children began to arrive as well as telling you what time they were due to arrive, you were all dismissed to go and finish preparing your cabins for the arrival of the kids.

You arrive back at your cabin and quickly get to work, writing out little notes for each girl assigned to your cabin and placing one on each of the beds in the cabin so the girls have a bed assigned but you weren’t going to be upset if they wanted to swap with someone else. As long as it was agreed upon and caused no arguments, you were happy for the girls to make their experience as good as possible in their own way.

Once you’ve placed the notes down on the beds, you do a sweep of the whole cabin, getting rid of any outside dirt that may have snuck its way in before wiping down all the bedside tables to rid them of dust that had settled over time. When you were satisfied that your cabin was completely tidy and looked welcoming enough, you got changed into the correct uniform you needed to be wearing for when the children arrived and made your way over to the staff lounge to relax and hang out with your friends before lunch.

Meanwhile, across the camp, Bradley was making similar preparations for his cabin. Unlike you, Bradley had not made any notes or anything similar to put on the beds. He had chosen to roughly sketch out a layout of the cabin and write names on each of the four beds in the cabin but he wasn’t going to put up much of a fight if they wanted to switch around. All Bradley could hope for was that none of the boys in his cabin had heavy gear that they would ask for a hand with. While Bradley had remembered to take his medication this time, his back was still not up to any heavy lifting tasks just yet. When Bradley was satisfied the cabin was clean after thoroughly cleaning as if he were back in the naval academy awaiting a room inspection, he changed into the appropriate uniform. He then made his way to the staff lounge as you had done.

“Hey, Bradley.” You greet him warmly the moment you notice him enter the room, smiling up at him as he crosses the room to sit on the sofa with you.

“Hey, y/n. Cabin all sorted?” Bradley asks with a smile, easing himself back against the sofa cushions as you nod your head.

“I think so. All it needs now is some campers. Are you all sorted?” You reply, smiling softly at Bradley as he mirrors your nod.

“Yeah, all sorted.” He says, smiling as you begin to talk about how excited you were for camp to start properly. Bradley thought you had the cutest smile, and that it was so cute seeing you so excited for this.

Before Bradley could continue his conversation with you, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he tilted his head slightly in confusion when he saw Maverick’s name displayed across his phone for a Facetime call.

“I’m so sorry, I’ve got to take this really quick.” Bradley excuses himself apologetically, grabbing his headphones from his locker and plugging them into his phone before sitting out on the porch and picking up the call.

“Hey, Mav.” He greets his godfather with a small smile.

“Hey, kid. I remembered you saying that camp officially starts this afternoon so I figured I’d get a last-minute call in before you’re too busy.” Maverick starts before Penny crosses to stand behind him, leaning over his shoulder so Bradley can see her.

“He means I reminded him.” She says, eliciting a chuckle from Bradley as she moves off camera again to continue with what she is doing.

“How’s things back home?” Bradley asks, partially curious as to how things at Top Gun have been, and partially trying to deal with his fear of missing out.

“It’s good. Pretty quiet without you and Hangman butting heads that’s for sure. But you know the Daggers, they’re able to keep me on my toes.” Maverick admits with a soft chuckle as he thinks back to all the shenanigans he’s had to put up with since becoming Captain of the Dagger Squadron.

“I never thought I’d say this, but I sort of miss butting heads with Jake. But don’t tell him I said that, his ego doesn’t need any more boosts, he gets enough from the women at the Hard Deck.” Bradley says, finding himself admitting something he thought he’d die before saying out loud.

“Your secret is safe with me Bradley. I will be honest, we do all miss you here. I wish nothing more than for you to be flying with us but I know I need to stick to my guns and let you finish up your recovery before you come back.” Maverick says, a solemn expression crossing his face as Bradley nods his head sadly.

“I understand, Mav.” Bradley says, sadness tugging lightly at his heart as he thinks of everything he is missing back in San Diego. He knew coming to work at a summer camp was his idea, and he was yet to have any regrets about it. But his heart still longed to be up in the air, flying with his friends and doing his duty.

“Your back isn’t giving you too much trouble is it?” Maverick asks quietly as if people were potentially listening in to their conversation. Bradley could only bring himself to shake his head at Maverick’s question, not trusting his voice enough to convince his godfather that his back wasn’t troubling him.

“Hey, Bradley. I just thought I’d let you know we’re heading over for lunch so you can come and join us whenever you’re ready. But don’t rush though. Finish your call whenever.” Bradley is shaken out of his pity party thoughts by your soft voice and gentle hand on his shoulder, leaning down and speaking softly so as not to cause too much of a ruckus while he’s on the phone before offering him a small smile when he looked up at you and then leaving the porch and crossing to the dining hall, Bradley’s gaze following you the whole way.

“Who was that?” Maverick’s voice snaps Bradley back to reality, feeling a slight blush cover his cheeks at being caught out.

“It was… uh- y/n.” Bradley stumbles over his words, only serving to deepen his blush as he watches Maverick raise an eyebrow.

“I see. Is y/n your girlfriend?” Maverick asks, watching and fighting back a laugh when Bradley’s eyes widen.

“No. She’s a friend who happens to be a girl. That’s it.” Bradley defends himself, trying to hide his feelings as Maverick hums in amusement, clearly not believing Bradley’s adamant denial of his feelings.

“Pete, leave Bradley alone.” Penny scolds in the background, shooting Maverick a look when he glances away from his phone to look at her, warning him to behave.

“Look Mav, I should get going if I want to get lunch before the kids arrive.” Bradley says, glancing over at the dining hall as he feels his stomach grumble at the thought of food.

“Yes, of course. Have a good time, kid. Message us when you can and I’ll keep you up to date on what the Daggers get up to.” Maverick says, smiling as he and Bradley bid each other goodbye before ending the call. Bradley pulls his headphones out with a sigh and moves to stand up, wincing when his back twinges in pain before shoving his phone back in his locker and crossing to the dining hall. He quickly plates up some food once he enters before scanning the room, unable to stop the smile from covering his face when he sees you sat with your friends, one seat free for him.

“Hey guys.” Bradley greets everyone at the table as he sits down, placing his plate down in front of him and digging in.

“Oh, Bradley you didn’t need to rush your call if you weren’t done I could’ve plated some stuff up for you.” You say apologetically, feeling bad that he ended his call so soon after you and the others came up for lunch.

“Don’t worry about it, Mav isn’t one for long calls anyway so we probably would’ve finished the call by now anyway.” Bradley says with a shrug, placing his fork down and lifting the cup of water to his lips.

“Mav? Who names their kid that?” Cameron asks, confused, glancing over at Bradley who quickly realises his slight error.

“My godfather is in the Navy, same as me. Mav is short for Maverick. That’s his callsign.” Bradley clarifies, receiving nods of understanding in response.

“Wait so if you’re in the Navy too, that means you must have a fancy callsign too. What is it then?” Nathan asks, causing a clamour of people wanting to know Bradley’s callsign as he rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

“I’ve got enough people calling me by my callsign in my day-to-day life I don’t need to add you guys into it as well. It’s staying a secret sorry guys.” Bradley shrugs with a grin as everyone jokingly groans at the lack of a callsign reveal. As you finish up your lunch together, you are suddenly aware that it’s only a matter of time before the children start to arrive so with one last good luck to each other, you leave the dining hall and head your separate ways to your cabins to await the arrival of your campers.

You wait with a smile inside your cabin, you had the door propped open so parents and children alike could see that you were inside as you busied yourself with last-minute adjustments so you didn’t look like you were just sitting around bored.

“Hello?” You hear a voice come from behind you, making you turn to face the owner of the voice, seeing two parents and their daughter between them.

“Hello, it’s so nice to meet you! What’s your name?” You greet the three happily, welcoming them into the cabin and addressing the young girl who glances down at the floor, clearly shy.

“I’m Zoe.” She says quietly, fidgeting with the hair tie on her wrist.

“Hi Zoe, I’m y/n and I’m going to be your counsellor for the summer. Would you like to find the bed with your name on it?” You introduce yourself with a gentle smile before offering her something to do as she nods, creeping towards each of the beds in turn until she eventually points out the bed with her name card on it.

“Look at that Zo, you’ve got a great view of the lake isn’t that amazing?” Her dad states, glancing out the window that sat beside her bed, wrapping his arm around his daughter and looking at the view with her.

“It’s Zoe’s first time here so she’s a little nervous since it’s her first time spending a good chunk of time away from home.” Zoe’s mother sidles up alongside you to mumble and you turn to face her.

“That is completely understandable. My job is to make sure she has a great time here.” You say with a nod, understanding her potential homesickness and shyness in a new place. You then help get her bags in before Zoe’s parents bid her goodbye, leaving you to help her unpack her things with the space she has. You made small talk with Zoe, asking her about some of the activities she had signed up for and told her about how friendly the counsellors running those activities were so she felt less nervous about them. Soon another girl entered the cabin with her parents trailing behind.

“Hi, I’m Julia!” The girl introduces herself to both you and Zoe, leading her parents into the cabin and quickly locating the bed with her name on it as if she’d done it before.

“Wow, you knew to look for the name card, guess I’m not the first one to have tried it, huh?” You joke with a laugh as Julia’s parents set her bags down by her bed.

“This is my second summer here, and my last counsellor did the same thing so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to check.” Julia says with a smile as she instantly starts to unpack her belongings.

“Well, I’m y/n and I’ll be your counsellor for the summer.” You introduce yourself to the young girl as she grins over at you. Julia’s parents mingle for a few more minutes, talking to you as Julia starts to make conversation with Zoe, helping her to break out of her shell a little as she shares some of her spare fabrics to make curtains for the windows as you smile at the interactions. Julia’s parents then said goodbye to their daughter who quickly hugged them goodbye before returning to her conversation with Zoe. Soon your last two girls arrived at the same time with their parents in tow.

“You two must be Louisa and Megan. I’m y/n, your counsellor.” You introduce yourself to the girls as you help their parents bring their bags into the cabin.

“It’s nice to meet you.” The two girls chirp in tandem, smiling and crossing to their beds and starting to unpack, introducing themselves to the others as their parents join you.

“These two have been best friends since birth. And they’ve been coming here since we found out about this camp so they definitely know how it works around here.” The woman who introduces herself as Louisa’s mother says as she watches her daughter happily interacting with her new cabinmates.

“They definitely look like they know what they’re doing.” You muse as you watch the two girls giving advice and helping Zoe and Julia set up their makeshift curtains before doing the same with the window nearest their beds before turning to you.

“Hey, y/n. Do you want some fabric for this little window here? That way you can have some privacy when you’re in your area of the cabin.” Megan asks, holding up some fabric as you glance from it to the little window that sits in the wall separating your cabin area from the girls.

“That’s a great idea, Megan. We can make them into little curtains so whenever we’re in here during the day I can have them open to keep an eye on you all.” You joke, eliciting giggles from all the girls as the parents chuckle too.

“Well, I guess we should be off then.” Both Megan and Louisa’s parents say, getting hugs from their children before bidding everyone goodbye and then heading out of the cabin to begin their journey home.

After they leave, you turn to your campers, a smile on your face as you watch them helping each other unpack and decorate the cabin.

“Alright girls, how about we get to know each other a little while we decorate? I know Megan and Louisa know each other but there’s no harm in being friends with your whole cabin is there? Why don’t we go around and everyone can introduce themself with their name and an activity they’re excited for.” You say, addressing each of the girls as they all nod glancing around each other, introducing themselves by name and naming an activity they’re excited for. Zoe was excited to learn how to waterski, Louisa was excited to horse ride, Megan was excited to audition for the camp musical, and Julia was excited to do some arts and crafts. It made you happy to hear how excited these girls were for the various activities the camp had to offer. You sat with the girls as they helped you make curtains out of the fabric Megan gave to you and once they were made you entered your part of the cabin and hung it up in the window, pulling them back and tying them back so they were open and you could see into the girls area of the cabin.

“I don’t know about you guys but I think we have the best cabin ever.”

Meanwhile, over in Bradley’s cabin he was just greeting the parents of the last boy to arrive in his cabin, he had already greeted Nick, Tom, and Alex so by process of elimination it was Lucas who had just arrived. He greeted the parents with a shake of the hand before introducing himself to Lucas and pointed out his bed so he could start to unpack.

“I hate to be a bother but Lucas’ trunk is a little heavy, we had to cart it down here. Do you think you could give me a hand bringing it into the cabin?” Lucas’ dad asks, looking very apologetic for having to ask in the first place. Bradley knew he should say no, he could picture his doctor and Maverick screaming at him to not help but Bradley couldn’t bring himself to turn down the ask for help.

“Of course, we’ll take a handle each.” Bradley says with a smile, stepping outside the cabin to where the small wooden cart with the trunk on was sitting. Bradley took one of the handles in his hand while Lucas’ dad took the other. Upon lifting it, Bradley was relieved to find out it was nowhere near as heavy as he had anticipated it to be, in fact, he was sure he could’ve carried it himself, but he couldn’t ignore the throbbing pain in his back when he lifted it so he did his best to get it into the cabin as quickly as possible.

“There we go.” Lucas’ dad says as he and Bradley put the trunk down on the floor for Lucas to begin unpacking.

“That hardly seemed like a problem for you.” Lucas’ mum praises Bradley, smiling as Bradley shakes his head with a chuckle.

“I’m pretty sure the bag I brought was heavier than that.” Bradley says with a laugh as Lucas’ parents exchange a look and laugh.

“Well, we’ll leave Lucas in your capable hands then. Have a good time son.” Lucas’ dad says, bidding goodbye to his son who says a goodbye in response before focusing on unpacking and making his bed while chatting with the other three boys in his cabin. Bradley then decides to make the effort to get to know the boys who very clearly all knew each other already and so strikes up a conversation asking what they’re looking forward to doing. Unsurprisingly, Bradley soon found out that most of the boys were excited to work on their sports skills, mostly in soccer, which meant Bradley had to make sure he was the best instructor he could be to help the boys get to the skill level they’d like to. Bradley continues to chat with his campers for a while, helping them set up their areas until he clocks the time on his watch.

“Alright guys, we should head out to the assembly point.” He says, remembering that there was a meeting to welcome everyone to camp before everyone was given the assigned table that they had to sit at for breakfast and dinner while at lunch they could sit wherever they wanted. Bradley ushers his campers out of the cabin once they’re ready and they make their way to the assembly point, finding a place to sit and waiting as more and more people arrive and find somewhere to sit. Bradley saw you arrive with your campers in tow, you had brief eye contact and you offered him a small wave before one of your campers pointed out a place you could all sit so you then followed her to the free spot.

Soon, Kerry stood before you all and welcomed all the campers to the beginning of camp, which was met with excited cheers from the campers as some began to murmur excitedly amongst each other until Kerry quietened them down, her smile still wide and welcoming. When everyone is calmed down again, Kerry explains that she’s going to call out the table number, and then the people who are sitting at that table. After she says the names, the people who were called out can go and sit at their assigned table and wait for everyone else. You all wait patiently as Kerry calls out the numbers and names.

“On table twelve we have Bradley, y/n, Molly, Jamie, Sophia, Seb, Eve, and Kevin.” Kerry calls out your name and you stand up, making your way towards the dining hall with the other people at your table, unable to suppress your smile as Bradley walks up alongside you.

“Guess we’re tablemates now.” Bradley jokes, smiling as the eight of you enter the dining hall, locating the table displaying the number twelve.

“I suppose there are worse people to be grouped with.” You say with a smile, giggling as Bradley jokingly scoffs and rolls his eyes as you all sit down at your table, waiting for the rest of the camp to go to their tables.

When everyone is sat at their tables, Kerry announces how breakfast and dinner will function. Everyone will sit at their tables after the morning and afternoon meetings and will wait as the tables are released to get their food by row, and every table is responsible for cleaning up after themselves. With the rules now established, the tables are released row by row to go and plate up their meals. When your table is released, you make your way up to the hot food bar and plate up some dinner before returning to your table and digging into your food as the rest of your table slowly returns.

“All I’m saying is the Daggers would be so jealous of the food we have here. The food in the canteen isn’t nearly as good as this.” Bradley says after a mouthful of food, glancing over at you as you nod in agreement. Knowing your friends from back home would be jealous of the food you were being served.

“What is the Daggers?” Jamie asks, looking at Bradley curiously as he exchanges a look with you, clearly unprepared for such a question.

“I’m a naval aviator and the Daggers is the name of my squadron.” Bradley explains with a small smile, seeing how the kid's eyes light up when he reveals his job to them. He is then bombarded with questions from curious kids who want to know more. They all seem to love hearing some of Bradley’s stories, he made sure to only pick the appropriate ones, mostly about his training and teammates.

“My dad used to be an aviator, his callsign was Diesel. What’s your callsign?” Sophia asks, which once again has all eyes on Bradley as he chuckles.

“That’s staying a secret from everyone. Not even the other counsellors know my callsign. I get called it enough to earn a little break.” Bradley says, earning a wave of groans and pleads with the promise it would stay a secret between the table but Bradley sticks to his guns.

“Sorry guys, some things just stay secret.” Bradley grins as he lifts his cup of water to his lips before taking a sip as there’s yet another ripple of groans from the children. You then effortlessly switch the subject and ask the kids what kinds of activities they’ve signed up for and Bradley can’t help but admire how good you are with the children and how you hold conversation with them, listening to them as if their thoughts and opinions were the most important thing to you.

Before you knew it, dinner was over and everyone made their way into the hall that functioned as a small theatre and a gymnasium to watch some of the counsellors take part in the counsellor variety show, some singing, some doing silly dances with their friends, and more. You were happy to sit at the back of the room along with the other counsellors to watch and enjoy the show. When the show was finished Kerry took to the stage to dismiss you all to head back to your cabins for the night and you gathered up your four campers and walked back up to the cabin with them while Bradley found his four.

“Are you guys good to head back to the cabin yourselves? I have something I need to do.” Bradley says and once they nod he sends them off to the cabin, instructing them to get ready for bed before he gets back, as they leave, Bradley heads in the direction of the nurse’s lodge, grabbing his medication from the bag with his name on and taking it with a swig of water before shoving it away and making his way back to the cabin where he enters his area of the cabin and changes into a pair of flannel pyjama bottoms and one of his shirts from his Navy training days before throwing on his beloved Eagles sweatshirt over the top to counter the chill he felt in the cabin. Once he was ready and checked with the boys that they had gotten changed, he entered their area of the cabin and leaned up against the wall asking how they all were.

“We’re good. Hey, what’s going on with you and y/n? You two looked really close.” Nick asks, getting a murmur of agreement from the rest of the boys while Bradley fights back a blush he knows is coming.

“We’re friends. We’ve been friendly since we met at the start of counsellor orientation.” Bradley says, not missing how the campers exchange a knowing look.

“Sure… well, Louisa from y/n’s cabin was at my table and she noticed it too so I bet she’s going to ask her as well.” Alex says, making Bradley let out a soft sigh.

“Look, don’t drag y/n into anything. We’re just here to do our jobs and make sure you guys have a good summer. It’s hard to do that when kids are bugging you about things that aren’t true.” Bradley says, an overwhelming urge to protect you from the pestering campers leaping out without a second thought.

“You sound pretty protective there, Bradley. Sure it’s because y/n is just a friend?” Tom says making Bradley roll his eyes biting his tongue so he wouldn’t seem so defensive and add fuel to their fire. All he could hope was that your campers weren’t putting you through the same interrogation.

“y/n, we saw you and Bradley laughing and chatting during dinner. Do you have a crush on him?” Louisa asks as you’re perched on the end of Zoe’s bed, book in hand to read to them as per their request.

“What?” You ask with a laugh, feeling your cheeks growing hot at the sudden question.

“All of us saw it. You were laughing and chatting with him. You totally have a crush on him.” Julia pipes up, making you let out a breathy laugh.

“We’re just friends girls. Friends laugh and talk together, especially when you’re the only two adults at the table. Bradley’s a nice guy to talk with.” You defend yourself, picking what you believe to be the most believable excuses to say as your cheeks grow hotter. 

“Okay.” Megan says, all four girls exchanging a look as you open the book to the first chapter, focusing on the page to calm down before looking back up at the girls.

“Are you ready for me to start reading now?”

About forty-five minutes later, you were quietly sneaking out of your cabin after lights out. Usually, you’d be granted from ten to midnight to have off while a few other counsellors were on patrol to make sure the cabins were covered. But since it was the first night of camp, you only got an hour instead of two but you were more than okay with that. You just wanted to stargaze for a while. You made your way to a small slope in the ground near the dining hall, sitting down on the grass and looking up at the stars, a soft smile on your face as you searched for constellations.

“Room for one more?” You hear about five minutes into stargazing and you look up to see Bradley smiling down at you.

“Of course.” You say with a smile, patting the grass next to you and waiting for Bradley to sit down, fighting the urge to raise your eyebrow at the smallest hiss of pain that escaped his lips as he sat down. Once he’s sat down, you both focus your gaze on the stars, watching them shine up in the darkened sky. You felt slightly awkward with Bradley sat alongside you after the questioning you received from your campers. They had hit the nail on the head with your crush on the tall aviator, but you had no clue how he felt about you and you treasured the newfound friendship with Bradley that you were more than willing to lock your feelings away to prevent heartbreak. After a brief silence, you clear your throat slightly and speak up.

“So you’re really not going to tell anyone your callsign? Not even the kids?” You ask with a smile as you glance over at Bradley who lets out a small breathy chuckle.

“I don’t think my ego could handle my callsign being public knowledge among the campers. It’s not exactly a callsign that strikes fear into the hearts of people.” Bradley says, explaining his reasoning and you nod in understanding.

“That’s okay. I didn’t mean to make it seem like you had to tell anyone if you didn’t want to.” You apologise, shifting your gaze back to the night sky as Bradley mirrors your actions before a comfortable silence falls over the two of you.

“Rooster.” Bradley says quietly after a brief silence.

“What was that?” You ask, turning to look at Bradley who somehow seemed perfectly illuminated under the moonlight.

“My callsign, it’s Rooster.” Bradley then says, shifting his gaze to meet yours, a shy smile appearing on his face.

“Rooster… I like it. What earned you that callsign?” You ask curiously, immediately wondering if you overstepped judging by Bradley’s expression and were prepping an apology before he spoke up.

“My dad’s callsign was Goose so I wanted to keep my callsign avian. Duck or Chicken probably weren’t the best choices so I ended up with Rooster. It’s not the most terrifying of callsigns but it’s good enough for me.” Bradley explains, glancing back up at the stars, wondering if his parents were up there together watching down on him as you listen carefully to his words.

“I think it’s lovely you wanted a callsign that could connect to your dad’s. Honestly, anyone who thinks that Rooster isn’t a scary callsign clearly has never been around a rooster because those things are scary.” You say, letting out a small laugh at the end of your sentence as Bradley cracks a smile of his own.

“So, is that why you didn’t want anyone to know? Because you’re worried it’s not considered cool enough?” You ask softly, curious as to whether that’s the only reason he won’t tell anyone.

“Well, there’s that. Then there’s the fact that more people in my life call me by my callsign instead of my actual name. I just want time to be Bradley.” He admits, gaze briefly flicking over to lock eyes with you once more before focusing back on the stars.

“You’re always going to be Bradley to all of us here. Even after we all head our own ways, everyone here is going to refer to you as Bradley.” You say with a smile, making Bradley nod slightly, his soft smile returning. Bradley was trying not to give away any of his supposedly obvious feelings towards you after the boys in his cabin grilled him about his feelings. He couldn’t keep lying to himself about his feelings anymore, but he didn’t want to risk the friendship he had with you. He didn’t want to scare you away. But you listened to him. You looked past Rooster and focused on Bradley. He realised then and there that he didn’t want anyone else but you.

“That will be nice. Just please don’t tell anyone my callsign.” Bradley asks, bringing himself back to reality and shifting to look over at you as you nod with a smile, moving to rest a comforting hand on top of Bradley’s entirely missing how his breath hitched at the contact because of how focused you were on the warmth of Bradley’s hand.

“Your secret is safe with me, Bradley.” You say, your voice no louder than a whisper, before removing your hand from atop Bradley’s, fighting back a frown at how cold you got the moment you moved your hand away while Bradley fought a frown of his own at the loss of the comforting feeling. The two of you look back up at the stars and continue to sit in comfortable silence for a few more minutes before a yawn slips past your lips without warning.

“I think that’s my cue to go and get some rest. You should do the same. We’re going to need all the rest we can get.” You say, beginning to get to your feet as Bradley mirrors your actions, standing face to face with you as you smile up at him under the moonlight.

“Goodnight Bradley.” You mutter with a shy smile, getting the sudden confidence to wrap him in a quick hug that took him aback at how gentle your hold was, able to wrap his arms around you for a brief second before you pulled away.

“Goodnight y/n.” Bradley replies, his soft smile never fading as he watches you turn around and make your way to the girl's line and disappear into the darkness before finally turning around himself and making his way back to his cabin.

When you reached your cabin, you snuck into your area of the cabin quietly, pulling your hoodie off and hanging it on a peg before taking your shoes off and climbing into bed, tugging the covers over yourself as you lie down, thinking about the first full day of camp tomorrow, and the tall aviator with a moustache on the other side of camp.

taglist (comment or ask to be added):

@noz4a2 @kim-stark @jessicab1991 @myxticmoon @burningwitchprincess @casuallyeating @adoringanakin @iamabeautifulperson18 @cascactus28 @og-baby-ob14

[somethingsomethingwords]

Hello dear readers. It's really been a while. I'm here again because I want to get back into writing, and what day is better than this page's first anniversary??? Thanks to every single one of you, and let's hope in another year full of words.

As always thanks for reading. Enjoy💜

It had been one hell of a weekend. All fp sessions had ended because of a red flag, quali was postponed because it kept raining and raining, and when they finally started doing their outlaps, the track was still wet.

Both Aston Martins made it to Q3, with Fernando in p4 and Lance in p6, and both drivers wanted to get a podium.

The actual race was just as chaotic as the previous days: crashes and DNFs all around, with at least 3 safety cars issued.

It was a miracle no one got seriously injured.

Fernando couldn't complain: he barely missed the podium and defended well.

Despite the slight disappointment of missing the 15 points, he couldn't stop smiling, because Lance had gotten the podium.

With a masterclass of well timed pit-stops and overtaking, he managed to get to P3.

They were out celebrating in a club, when he was tapped on the shoulder.

"Ehi, podium boy"

It made the Canadian giggle, which in return made Nando smile even wider.

"Hi Nando. How's it going?"

"Can't complain now you're here. You? Enjoying your night?"

"Yeah, it's been intense" he said, eyes shining.

"Everything ok?" Fernando couldn't stop asking. He could see the boy was happy, but also something else was starting to show in the tense slope of his shoulders.

"Yeah, yeah, just tired of the weekend"

"Want to go back to the hotel?" He could already see the objection on the other's tongue, and was quicker. "It's no problem, am tired myself and just want to sleep"

"Thanks, I think I lost my ride back when Este "disappeared" outside with Pierre and Charles. You know how it is"

"Of course. Come, let's go" he instinctively held out his hand for the younger one. Lance took it and intertwined their fingers.

"Lead the way" he simply said, smiling softly.

When they got to Fernando's car, the older man opened its door for his boy.

"Nando.." chuckled Lance when he did a formal bow, still holding the door.

"You deserve to be pampered tonight, and want to do it. Get in the car, mi vida" he said, loving the deep crimson shade spreading on Lance's cheeks.

With a small thank you, Lance sat in the car and made himself comfortable on the leather seat.

When Fernando got behind the wheel, he noticed how at peace the other man looked, with his head resting against the headrest, and his eyes closed.

The drive back at the hotel was quiet, no music breaking the light atmosphere.

When they arrived, Fernando left his car in the underground garage and once again opened the door for the other, and got a sweet kiss on his cheek for his trouble.

He would never admit that every gentle gesture still made his skin tingle and his heart stumble, but that was the truth.

When they started dating, he was so scared of involuntarily hurting the younger man, because he had had bad past experiences. No one could have prepared him for the tenderness Lance showed him and how he was always deeply touched by it. They had learned together how to be together, through thick and thin.

Now, after almost three years of dating, Fernando couldn't imagine his life without the other, and he didn't want to.

He was rudely awakened from his daydream by a light pat on his shoulder and a light chuckle.

"Already sleeping old man? Come on, let's get you to bed" Lance said, smile never leaving his face and slowly backing towards the elevators, still looking back at Fernando.

"¿Ay cariño, que voy a hacer contigo?" he said, an adoring smile on his face, starting to move.

When they got to their room (nobody even pretended to book two rooms anymore), Lance opened the door and, barely leaving his shoes at the entrance, he started undressing. In the middle of the room. The boy was soon going to give him an aneurysm, but Fernando couldn't complain. He also couldn't help himself from asking.

"Want some company there, handsome?" badly winking because he knew it always made Lance laugh.

Lance did laugh, and in only his boxer, got closer and closer to his partner.

"Mon cœr, I love you so much. But I'm so tired, and I know what sharing a shower would mean. So, regrettably, I have to decline. Pass and double it for tomorrow" he said, then kissed the already forming pout on Fernando's lips and quickly escaped to the bathroom.

"Ah, the things I put up with for you mi amor" he sighed, thinking about the contract of a bigger house already signed and paid, and a small box hidden in his luggage, waiting for the right moment to be shown.

Soon, he will find the right moment, romantic and intimate and perfect, he will kneel (hoping no too loud crack would escape his not so young anymore knees) and ask Lance to be his husband.

Soon, but not right now, when they are both tired and sleepy and ready to gain energy for a sex marathon waiting for them come the morning.

So he patiently waited for his turn, knowing Lance was far too tired for one of his hours long showers, but not tired enough to be sensible about the water temperature: when he opened the door, the stream erupted as if it was smoke from a dragon's mouth.

After appreciating his boyfriend, basically naked if not for the white towel wrapped around his hips, and a quick kiss to Lance's still wet shoulder, he entered the bathroom for a quick shower.

Nothing could have prepared him for what awaited on the other side.

When he reentered the bedroom, he found Lance sat on the bed, black pajama pants and pink shirt, back against the headboard with his eyes closed and a colorful plastic bag on his lap.

Perceiving his presence, Lance opened his eyes, and smiled at him like he was seeing the sun for the first time in his life. It made him feel powerful and precious and bigger than life itself, warmth spreading everywhere.

Lance patted the space in front of him on the bed and patiently waited for him to put some boxer briefs and one of his own t-shirts, so big it almost reached his knees.

When he sat, Lance handed him the bag.

"What's this for, mi sol? Is not my birthday, nor our anniversary" he said, a bit confused.

They weren't big on gifts, and even when they exchanged them it was always for a special occasion.

"Just open it" he rolled his eyes, impatient but excited.

Nando chuckled, and opened the bag to find some sort of peluche. It was a brown cat, with big brown eyes and a small smile. It instantly made Fernando smile. Cute.

"It's lovely, gatito. Just like you" he said raising his eyes and looking Lance in the face. He looked happy and satisfied, and kind of nervous.

Fernando looked back at the cat, studying its tail and its ears.

It was only when he heard Lance move again that he lifted his eyes up, only to see an open box, and a ring inside.

"Fernando, I could tell you about how much I respect you as a driver, as a colleague, as a person, but that's not even a quarter of what you mean to me. I could tell you I love you, but there will never be enough time to explain how much. I could tell you a million and one thing now, but I'd rather tell them for the rest of our lives. So, Fernando Alonso Díaz, will you marry me?"

"No" Fernando answered breathlessly.

"Mh, I kinda didn't think this would happen" he said, shifting awkwardly, hoping he didn't ruin their relationship, confused about what he did wrong.

"No, idiota, that's not what I meant. ¿Espera un segundo, vale?"

"Sure dude" Lance was starting to feel self conscious at the moment, and Fernando couldn't have it. So he rose and kissed him, leaving him dazed and breathless.

When he came back, Lance was still exactly where he left him, red cheeks and looking at the air. So Fernando kneeled again on the bed and presented the love of his life with his own ring, putting down a stack of papers.

"Lance, you beat me once again today. You arrived in front of me on the grid, and you proposed first. I want you in my life from here to the end. For the last few years, racing was feeling like running away from something. Now I think I was running towards you. Lance Strulovitch, be mine forever" he just said, no question nor doubt in his mind.

Lance stared at the ring, and then at Fernando. His eyes were misty, but his big smile revealed his true feelings.

Without wasting any more time, he grabbed Nando by his own t-shirt and pulled him in a deep and passionate kiss.

They went on for what felt like hours, and then they separated, leaning against each other.

"Yes, today and tomorrow and for the rest of my days. Now put it on my finger" Lance said, putting out his left ring finger. The golden band fitted perfectly, as did the tungsten black one he put on Fernando's.

After long minutes spent staring at their left hands intertwined, and at how the light shone against the rings, Lance realized there was another thing that Fernando brought to the bed.

"What are those? Already ready with the divorce papers?" he asked, nodding towards the small pile of paper, grinning from ear to ear.

"Ah, very funny. Those are... no easy way to say that, so I'll just say... I bought us a house" he said quickly, waiting for Lance's response.

Lance's eyes widened, grin slipping off his face, mouth open because of the surprise.

"You bought a house for us?" he asked, incredulous and on the verge of tears.

"I didn't want to be rash, but I want a place that's only ours, where we can start the rest of our lives together, maybe a kid or two, no?" he simply said, keeping looking at Lance.

"You want to have kids with me?" he was now seriously crying, eyes red and snot coming out of his noise.

"I want everything with you" he answered, caressing his betrothed's cheeks and cleaning up the tears.

"I love you so much, mon ange" he said, gently kissing his lips.

"Forever"

"For always"

[thesophistiicate]

im not trying to act all high and mighty, im just genuinely confused by this... i truly dont understand girls who allow themselves to be put in degrading situations the same as the last anon? surely its glaringly obvious that man just wanted a body to use? i know i sound so mean but im genuinely actually confused whenever i hear or read girls talking about experiences like that i find it very hard to understand what would make them give the most undeserving men access to their bodies and souls like that... i can kind of understand if you sleep with a man for the first time and he treats you badly after but what i dont understand is going back again and again and expecting a different result. at that point maybe youre a little to blame as well? why would you even sleep with someone who youre not even in a relationship with? im just very lost i thought by now we all know better than to give just anyone our time. i see this even in my girl friends, theyre all so beautiful and intelligent yet they date terrible men that shouldnt even be allowed to breathe the same air as them and when they inevitably cheat or hurt them they genuinely get heartbroken and then they start to tell me about things the man has said to them and show me their text conversations and in my head im like "hes telling you right there in that message that he doesnt care about you..? what did you expect..?" sometimes it feels like girls get into situationships and relationships just to get themselves hurt on purpose because, and this is gonna sound so mean but i dont know how else to word this, but theres no way people can genuinely be this blind and stupid. i just find it so hard to feel sympathy for girls who numerously get shown and told theyre only being used for sex and still stick around for a different outcome. is that what love supposed to be? am i the one with the twisted understanding of love? am i missing something? i hope im not coming off as heartless or conceited, im genuinely confused i just dont know how to express or word it well

i'm happy to hold space for expressing thoughts imperfectly or even harshly, so long as we are willing to find understanding and not stay stuck in judgement 🤍 i would say the challenge for you here is learning to stay out of judgement (it is all right to acknowledge that's not how you would act, but attaching value statements and labels like 'stupid' don't help you be kind and don't help anyone else thrive either), and leaning into empathy (finding understanding when someone acts in a way you wouldn't, rather than judgement and frustration).

i say this as someone who used to be really judgemental, not to tell you off, but because it's so good for the soul to learn this growth. judgement and labels are easy, it's far more difficult to build the emotional intelligence to hold space for nuance and complexity, to extend compassion and nurture even when somebody is making imperfect decisions.

i think that you're someone with a really good level of self worth and self respect who cares about others too. that's so amazing! the best thing you can do is continue to hold your standards and lead by example. you aren't the one who has it wrong at all. healthy, respectful relationships aren't like this! keep your standards high, show your friends examples of high standards. as much as it will feel like they aren't listening, sometimes a simple, fairly neutrally toned: "wow, you deserve better" or "geez, i wouldn't put up with that" or "that's not normal" will linger and have more long-term impact than you realise.

i know it's easy to look in from the outside and say, can't you see it?! he just sucks!! or to look at the end of a crazy story and be like, girl, there was SO many red flags wtf!! (lol me at my past self!) but when you're in the middle of it, it's actually really hard. these people are master manipulators and they know how to keep their victims hooked. love bombing, mixed signals, disrespectful treatment to lower self worth... it's a wild ride inside the storm, you simply cannot see clearly because they are committed to obscuring the view.

at the core women get themselves into these situations because of low self worth. it's why i talk about it ALL THE TIME, it's SO CRUCIAL. when you don't value yourself, you put up with being disrespected. the more you are disrespected, the lower your self worth drops and the more bad treatment you accept. it's a toxic cycle. it's the exact same dynamics as in any abusive or domestic violence scenario (even if the relationships aren't abusive and he's just casually disrespectful - that is the beginning of abuse), and it's pretty well researched why women stay, how they get in those situations, why they find it difficult to leave, why the cycle keeps repeating with new partners. i'd highly recommend researching it if you want to understand it better. every woman should be educated on this topic.

you are right to some extent: if you want to get out of the cycle you do have to take responsibility for your own behaviour. you have to ask why you're accepting being treated that way. what led you there. why you are obsessing over their behaviours but not questioning your own.

but to confront all this is very difficult and painful and often related to trauma and neglect. yet another reason why so many can't escape the cycle, to face all of that can be more painful than putting up with a shitty guy who just wants sex without commitment... the crap treatment is easier to face, until it isn't.

it is a form of self-harm, a kind of self-destruction as a way a broken mind and spirit tries to cope with trauma. to end the relationship would be to limp out and finally confront how broken you are. when you stay in it you can stay delulu. it's a form of escape.

of course, to a healthy person it doesn't make sense. why would anyone ever willingly hurt themselves? and yet, it's a psychologically observable phenomenon and unfortunately the solution and path to healing is far more complex than just not doing that or getting into those situations. if only!!

but the way out DOES involve making a decision that you deserve better. which is why we need to keep talking about these things, bringing them to light, being compassionate, creating safe spaces for women in these relationships to talk about what they're experiencing without judgement, shame, being called stupid or asking for it etc 🤍

i could speak for a long time on this, but i'll leave it there for now... it's all right to not understand it. i actually think that's a good thing in a way, it means you're in a good place. but certainly if you really want to understand it, the research is there!

[one-strugling-bean]

So.

I finished the 4th season (MAG #160)

......I'm unwell

(part 3 of my Magnus Archives experience)

Ahhhhh where do i even start???? Ok, ok I think I'll start with the lesser things

First off, right off the bat, RIP Tim. More than ever, now I know he didn't have to die and I am so so sad he did..... Flirty boi deserved so much better u^u

Martin collected many moments of badassery throughout the 3rd and 4th seasons. Im so proud of his growth. Not him burning statements and snipping back at Elias - ahhhhhh he was so coooool, I wish someone else was there so that they could tell him! And when he made Fairchild sit back down to finish answering Martin's questions, I swear I got chills!!

Anyway. I continue being a fierce Martin fan, nothing new there

What is new is my newfound adoration for Daisy. Seriously. She's my baby now. Idc what happens or who dies, she needs to end this story okay :'))))

No, im 200% serious, if Daisy doesn't survive to the end, im def going to cry. Because i can totally see her being the "sacrifice herself so that everyone else will have a chance" type.

I swear she was the only one holding the brain cell power this season –  and FINALLY, someone who's not Martin is not being a bitch to Jon!!!

I wasn’t even expecting Jon to be able to bring her back. Much less for them to become supportive avatar besties! I’m so glad the writer decided to take that turn with her. It’s really satisfying from a narrative standpoint to have Daisy of all people do a whole 180 on her standpoint with Jon.

Idk, i just really liked her this season. She deserves all the hugs. So she gets a meme :)

Basira, on the other hand, fell a bit for me, but i think that was kind of the point. She was fierce and stony and nearly zero compassionate, – very Gertrude-ish of her –  but after everything that’s happened, i can't really blame her :/

Im just here praying to everything that the cop ladies can get a modicum of a happy ending

And just so I round up the gang, im scared for Melanie... She is now blind and also has (had?) a monster as a therapist. And Georgie doesn't feel fear which makes them even less likely to sense danger if it comes for them. I hope they're able to push through whatever season 5 throws at them

Okay. So only Jon is lef now. What can i say about him tho?? I mean, i can say he's been going through it.

Like, I spent my whole time hearing this podcast lowkey making fun of him for collecting beatdowns from pretty much every character - AND IT TURNS OUT IT WASN’T EXACTLY JOKING MATTER AND WAS ACTUALLY PLOT RELEVANT??

WHAT IS THIS SORCERY AND WHY IS IT MAKING ME FEEL BAD FOR VOICES ON MY PHONE??

I just feel so bad for Jon. The guy did not deserve all of this. He really was a lamb to the slaughter—a poor wet cat, an eternal damsel in distress, the Antichrist…?

That last statement from Elias/Jonah is so good tho. Like, objectively. I love it. Not only does it take the listener in a nice little trip down memory lane - nostalgia is always fun - but its also just. So evil.

They really gave us such a sweet start – Martin and Jon bunking together in a cabin in Scotland(?) seemingly happy and it's all "uwu, they sho cute, yada yada- and then BAM!! APOCALYPSE HAS BEGUN!"

(i could literally be here for hours coming up with titles for Jon. he makes it too easy.)

Elias though...... I was spoiled that he was Jonah Magnus halfway through season 2 or so, so the reveal wasn't a big deal for me. I wonder how shattering it was for listeners when it first dropped though... At least he upped his villainy cred this season. Suits him better than the "unbothered neutral/evil stand-by" vibe he gave before.

And one last character thing, I fell in love with Peter so quickly. His lines were all gold and his delivery even more so. He just had that unflappable vibe to him. Like he didnt have a care in the world.

Oh, and him and Elias totally had ex-wives who spent the last 10 years fighting about who gets what in the divorce energy.

No, i will not elaborate.

Uhhhhh yeah. I grew to appreciate Helen more and more every time they showed up. Simon Fairchild was surprisingly fun for an old man, Gerry deserved the freaking world (thank you so much Jon for burning that page) and i think that’s kinda it on my favorite “creatures and associates”

Im super excited for this last stretch. i wonder if TMA will stick the landing. I sure hope it does, and honestly trust it will.

Anywayyyyyy, off i go for those last 40 episodes. Wish me luck!

Finish testimony, or whatever

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi!! Sorry to bother you but i just want to feel like im not sick and wanted to share my thoughts with someone that wont judge me

But i feel really bad, i really feel like there’s something wrong with me i don’t like sex and every time i had sex before has been bc i was supposed to do it, i forced my self to lose my virginity bc i felt like it was about time and i was too old for keep being a virgin. Also i thought “well, maybe if i do it i’ll start liking it like everybody says” but i didn’t, i didn’t like it but i thought again “oh well, it’s the first time (im a ciswoman)they say it always hurts the first time, maybe the more i do it i’ll start liking eventually” but again, i didn’t, i had sex with different people that i felt attracted to and it ALWAYS HURTED, also every time i had to be with at least a little alcohol in my system, so actually i have never had sex being 100% sober.

Now i’m in a relationship but I don’t even like kisses and it sucks bc i really love my boyfriend, he knows about this but i kinda feel like even if he is very supportive about it and says he still wants to be with me, I think there’s this little part of him that wishes that one day i’ll change and we can have sex.

I feel bad bc is it ok to call him my boyfriend and not just a close friend? Im i even allowed to love? Do i have to force my self to do something I don’t really want to or enjoy to be loved? Am i worthy of being loved?

I'm so sorry. As a thirtysomething that had the privilege to afford never to have sex, and who doesn't plan to change that any time, soon, I can tell you from my own experience that yes, not wanting it is valid, and no one should blame you for it. No one should blame you for forcing yourself to try it (because damn the societal pressure is so real), and for never liking it either. I'm so sorry you've been so invalidated just for wanting to live as you are for so long.

Seems to me that what you have right now is something you've always deserved and it's tragic that you didn't get it any earlier, but it's such a relief you have it now. Of course it's OK to call him your boyfriend. As much as our closed-minded, stuck-in-its-own-way, can't-see-past-its-own-nose society would try to lead you to believe, you don't have to have or want sex with someone to love them, that's not a mandatory condition at all. Of course you're allowed to love and worthy of being loved. And no, you don't have to force yourself to do something you don't want to or enjoy to be loved. That applies not only to sex but to so many other things. You don't have to force yourself to do anything to be worthy of love.

It's idealistic thinking maybe, but I always think communication is incredibly important between two people, so I'd personally recommend (although take for that what you will, you were just sharing feelings here, it's not like you came into this inbox to be told what to do and it's kinda pretentious on my part to write this in the first place) to share those fears with your boyfriend, emphasizing, if you need to, that it's not that you don't trust him or don't love him, it's that with the struggles you've had to go through for so long as an asexual person, it's hard for you not to be scared of such things even if things are going great. Of course I don't know your boyfriend, but if you have the feeling he's supportive, I want to believe that he'll be there to reassure you and keep supporting you.

And heck, if it winds up being a disappointment and he actually did have sexual ulterior motives he can't do without... That's on him, not on you. There's nothing wrong with you not wanting sex. You have every right to enjoy loving someone and being with someone on your own terms. I'm fortunate enough to do so myself, at the moment (granted, in a queer platonic relationship so it's a bit different, but still), so I know first-hand it's possible. And I sincerely wish you the best. You don't deserve to be doubting yourself, your happiness and your right to happiness so much but I can't blame you for that either. Society can really fuck up an asexual's self-esteem. But fuck that noise. You're so valid as you are.

[arcadekitten]

[MY WISHMAKER Spoilers!]

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I just played MY WISHMAKER last night and I loved it, so I wanted to give you my thoughts!

Arcade, you are SO SNEAKY AND CLEVER!!! I saw those promo images and was like "oh dear, he has a gunshot wound, what happened?" only to boot up the game and find out HIS WHOLE ARM WAS MISSING! You really can't tell when he's facing right, so I applaud you for hiding it so well.

I LOVE how sassy The Wishmaker is! I was expecting it/them(? I'll just go with them for now) to be kind of highfalutin and regal 'cause they're a deity and all but I really love how you went in this completely other direction! I think it does make sense since The Wishmaker obviously has to, like, grant people's wishes (in some way at least), so having a more casual manner of speech would probably make them less intimidated.

Also! I loved how you implemented the QTEs! I feel like it spices up the gameplay and is a nice little nod to your fans who played My Neighbor Enide. Even though I messed up all of them, though I SWEAR the Vas one was not my fault! I was mashing that Z button for dear life, but my laptop decided to type it into Edge for some reason!? I didn't even have it open!

Oh, and I see you were able to figure out the mouse movement? You said you'd have to move around using the arrow keys, which I was fine with, but I was pleasantly surprised when I booted up the game and I could move with the mouse too! It really completed the experience.

I don't really have much to say about the story, not because it's bad, but because it's so shrouded in mystery that my cogs are still turning as to what it could mean. I did really like the puzzles, though! And I did notice those key items you hid away...

I have plenty of theories I've been ruminating on even before MW, but I don't wanna put them here because 1) since this is an ask it might make you feel obligated to comment on them somehow which you are not and I don't want you to do, and 2) I think I would start rambling and make this ask a mile long LOL.

That's about everything I could think of off the top of my head! Overall, I really enjoyed it, and I hope you the best in all the other chapters and games you plan to make. I'm sure I'll enjoy them just as much, if not even more. Take care!

Haha yes! ♡ I know some people have been asking why Reginald has two arms in the promo images and it's like...it's meant to be a surprise, silly!

Also for our little Wishmaker character, yes! I adore them very much and I'm very excited for people to see more of them and learn their real name!! Another one of my favorites to be sure ♡ Not sure how I'll tag them in posts yet until their name reveal... clock, maybe? Just to avoid confusion? This character can be referred to with any pronouns, but for clarification that in games and in my posts they will only be referred to with "they" and the occasional "it"

I'm happy the QTEs are received well! (Granted they were a bit harder at first haha!) I'm happy to include them in future chapters as I feel future chapters will definitely be more linear and dialogue heavy and so I hope they can spice up the gameplay and keep things interesting and maybe just a tad more immersive! ♡

As for mouse movement controls it's kinda like a "Well yes, but actually no". You CAN move using the mouse if you really want to but you also have to be aware that you could accidentally hit an object's hitbox and activate its event. And you can't back out of an event once it has been activated like in typical point-and-clicks. (There's only so far I can push the engine with my experience level!) It's for this reason (and the surprise of QTE's!) that WASD/Arrow Key movement is recommended!

Thank you so much! ♡ I am so very happy to hear you enjoyed the experience and I love to hear what people have been brewing up regarding the story and the mysteries still unfolding (even though I can't say anything about it yet!) and I can't wait until I can have more to show you all! I'm really excited for it and I hope everyone will be too! ♡♡♡

[abby118]

It makes me so happy to see I’m not alone here. Honestly the Loki fandom is so fucking isolating, and I feel like if you say you prefer Pre-series Loki/Loki Prime whatever….you get shit flung at you. This fandom has done a really good job at making me scared to share my opinions. (Hell, I can’t even criticize the TVA without “UWU THE TVA ARE SMOL ANGST BLORBOS WITH TRAUMA! THEY’RE LOKI’s WHOLESOME FOUND FAMILY WHO HELPED HIM!!!”) It’s helped me a little bit to remember Loki in the series is a variant of our boy, because like…he’s literally nothing like Loki in the slightest and no offense to the fans, but it feels like a majority of them haven’t even TOUCHED the previous films. (Literally saw a post calling them old and outdated.)

Thank you for this blog. 🥺

Ooh yes, mhm. It can be isolating, for sure, but I also think we're fortunate that it did split into pre and post ragnarok eras of the fandom because some fandoms die when its source material gets retconned. I definitely relate to the opinion aimed towards the new "fans"; they're one of the most disrespectful and meanest people I have had the displeasure of interacting with in fandom spaces and I've been on this site for a while now.

And no, the character in the series is not a variant of Loki. The *only thing they share is a name, which has been stolen from the original character it rightfully belongs to, with the intent of cashing in on the fans. I refuse to refer to him as the same character. *They do share the same actor too, and as much as it hurts to say it, because Tom Hiddleston has been my favourite actor since I can remember - I was literally 9 when I joined the fandom when T1 came out..(for context, I'll be turning 22 this year), I no longer relate to how he views, or seems to view, Loki. And don't get me wrong, he will always be the person who played my favourite character, that will not change, but I do not see his interpretation of Loki as my own anymore. It doesn't even match his old one. And I know I'm not alone in feeling like this.

The TVA is a topic I don't have the energy to get into but it is beyond problematic. I'll just say that, I'm sure we all know what I'm getting at there. And I wouldn't even say it "feels" like the newer people haven't touched the movies. I have spoken to a few of them and it is an actual thing, apparently. Some of them started with ragnarok...which does explain a lot...and never bothered to check the original ones. And then they complain about feeling unwelcome among the fanbase, I wonder why that is, huh? - "I feel like if you say you prefer Pre-series Loki/Loki Prime whatever….you get shit flung at you. This fandom has done a really good job at making me scared to share my opinions."

Don't listen to them. Block them. They are not interactions that would bring you enjoyment or any sort of positive feeling and that's not what fandoms are supposed to be like, trust me. If you genuinelly feel upset about people's takes and opinion aimed towards you, you have every right to avoid them. Tumblr has no algorithm and blocking is nothing but curating your experience, you don't owe anything to these people. I, myself, have done this, including filtering tags, and it is so much more peaceful than when I rejoined (beacuse I changed blogs). Still, no longer being able to go to the main tag is incredibly sad.

Find a group of people you can interact with, follow the tags that are more specific and avoid what doesn't benefit your fun here. And thank you for being here, really. Especially for reaching out 💚🖤 I'm very glad you like my blog. I'm just doing my own thing, which in my case, means trying to stay true to the fandom I loved and enjoyed (and still do) from years ago, regardless of the notes or what people say. Because, at the end of the day, all that matters is your own enjoyment. I'm trying not to post too much negativity towards post2013 despite having a lot to say because there are blogs who do that, and do so well (thank you guys), and we need one that's focused on the good things too, but sometimes it really is needed. So thank you for the opportunity.