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melan-cauli · 3 years

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Questions

1. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them?

I was in kindergarten and his name was Eddy. I liked him because our cubbies were next to each other. haha.

2. What is one thing you regret having done or not done in your life?

I try not to regret things, but I feel like I regret times where I wasn’t the best friend to people-- when I let my mental health take over and isolate me, causing me to ghost some people I cared about.

3. Which parent do you identify with the most?

My mom, definitely. I love her with my entire being (not to mention I don’t have a great relationship with my dad), but even beside that, I have a lot of her mannerisms and her exact sense of humor.

4. What do you think you cook or bake the best?

I am not big on cooking or baking; it’s just not something I have a lot of skill and practice in. I am good at making banana bread and taco dip!

5. If you could change your first name what would it be?

I really don’t know if I would change my name, but maybe I would choose something that allowed for more nicknames, like Charlotte.

6. Can you hula hoop?

I haven’t in a long time, but yes I can... and now I want to go hula-hoop, haha.

7. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people?

I am so beyond easily embarrassed, but it really all comes down to talking. I feel like I am not very eloquent, so when I ramble often or misspeak, I get really down on myself and assume everyone has become mad at me or thinks I am stupid.

8. Have you considered running for president?

Not in any serious manner, no. I don’t think I would have the right stamina and energy for it. I have strong beliefs, but as I mentioned before, I get embarrassed just by speaking and I would get so frustrated trying to debate people who cannot articulate ideas well or who refuse to listen.

9. If you had to choose one thing you were most passionate about, what would it be and why?

Writing. It is the one thing in my life that I have ever felt confident in, and I have been drawn to it since I was just a little kid. There is nothing about writing that I don’t love, and it is the easiest way for me to communicate in both a straight-forward manner and a creative one.

10. Who are you most envious of—real or fictional—and why?

I don’t really have particular people that I envy. I suppose I just envy people who have got control of their mental health issues and who can articulate it in a healthy manner, but that is something I am getting better at and working toward!

11. Where is the most beautiful place on earth and why?

That’s a really hard question-- as beauty is subjective and there are soooo many gorgeous places. I would personally say Germany. I say that because of its history, architecture, art, landscape, etc. I just kind of love the idea of the country, and I would love to visit one day.

12. Are ghosts real?

I am a firm believer in ghosts. Yes.

13. Are aliens real?

100% I think it is naïve to believe that there is no other life form out there when our galaxy is so vast.

14. How old is the most expired item in your fridge?

They are no longer in my fridge, but my strawberries went bad yesterday... Sadly.

15. What are your favorite style of underwear?

Hipster!

16. What’s the saddest song you’ve ever heard?

There are so many, but the first one that came to mind was Hyperballad by Whitley (originally by Bjork)

17. How about the sweetest song?

Metaphors by Keaton Henson

18. Do you know how to play dominoes?

I have no idea. I have always owned dominoes, and my grandparents played, but I was never taught.

19. What’s under your bed?

A cat toy in the shape of an avocado

20. Have you ever prank called someone?

So many times. It was my friends and my favorite pastime growing up. It was all always friendly and just ridiculous.

21. 100 kittens or 3 baby sloths?

100 Kittens. I love little baby cats, and cats in general-- they are so sweet and snuggly. I miss when my family cat had kittens; they were so fun to take care of.

22. Are you proud of what you’re doing with your heart and time right now?

I’m trying to be. I am trying to acknowledge my successes and be proud of my progress.

23. Why or why not?

I have a good job in my field, I have dedicated all my time to working on my mental health, and I am trying to put myself first for once, so I am trying to acknowledge the good in all of that. It’s just always been hard for me to do so.

24. How many bones have you broken?

None (knock on wood)

25. Have you ever won anything? Big or small?

I won third place in state-wide writing competition in the third grade, and a Student Writing Award in college.

26. If you could buy one material thing, and money was not an issue, what would it be?

A house. I just want a place that is all my own-- it doesn’t have to be big or anything, I just want to own my dwelling.

27. What’s your favorite movie from your childhood?

I would say Ever After (even though Forrest Gump is my favorite movie and has been since childhood). I just have so many memories with my mom watching that movie, and I love Drew Barrymore.

28. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat?

Oysters. No way in hell.

29. What’s the best way to comfort you when you’re having a really terrible day?

Take me on a long car ride and just let me stare out the window.

30. Has anything/anyone ever saved your life before?

Not in a dramatic way, but yes, plenty of people have through different emotional ways.

31. Would you ever adopt a child?

I don’t want children, but I have never been opposed to adopting. I used to want to adopt when I was younger and thought I wanted kids, actually.

32. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try?

Learning to roller skate

33. If you were a cake which cake would you be?

Cheesecake! Not everyone’s taste, but still delicious.

34. What is the most important material possession you have and why?

I am not super attached to material items, but probably my over-shirt that use to belong to my grandmother; it is one thing I own that has deep-rooted sentimental value.

35. What is the most important memory you have and why?

I think most memories are of equal importance, but one of my favorites is of when my cousins and I used to get together in the fall and do yard work for my grandma. They were long days, but everyone was happy, we were together, we had good food, and my family members weren’t sick...

36. When was the last time you cried?

Thursday

37. How old was your mother when she had you?

She was 31

38. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with?

I think I would mesh really well with Julien Baker

39. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did?

Over the years, I have actually reached out to the people I thought I needed to apologize to, so I have made my peace with all of this.

40. Have you been on your first date? If so, how did it go?

I have been. It was nice and outdoorsy, but it was also a bit awkward because we didn’t know what to talk about most of the time (and the memory was spoiled a day or two after)...

questions credited to @itakesurveys

#questions #answers #ask #about me #me #personal #julien baker #forrest gump #ever after #keaton henson

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juleswolverton-hyde · 5 years

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Lonely Paws

Genre: Smut, Cam boy AU, FWB AU, College/University AU

Pairing: Cam boy!Namjoon x Reader

Warning: sub!Namjoon, male masturbation, impregnation kink, Namjoon is bad at sex, pet play (wolf pup play... ah dinnae ken, is that a thing?), sweater paws, unrequited love, allusion to unsafe penetrative sex (ALWAYS do it safely, lads and lasses!), exhibitionism, voyeurism, mild swearing/cussing

Summary: When a wolf pup carrying around a heart that is only sometimes loved is left alone, fantasy provided by the owner belonging to another forms a great escape to being appreciated.

Masterlist

Relationships are easily influenced occurrences, sometimes even so much so it is hardly possible to ascribe a certain status to it. Break-ups made undone only to become a steady rhythm of separation and reunion between two people, friendships flowing over into romance after bravely asking for a date yet acting so much so the same it makes one wonder when the connection deepened.

As became the case on the edge of the bed one night three years ago, tipsy on wine and whiskey but likely having ended up there anyway with the same wish even without booze. The same trust required to put into another for scary though rememberable first experiences, something we were not able to put into anyone but each other.

Sighing praise for wanton whimpers after tasting soft lips scented with grapes as bodies collided over and over, Y/N became the first woman to ever truly get exclusive attention despite the plethora of girls at high school and currently at university. Only her digits are allowed to run through ashy chocolate locks, caress round cheeks intentionally or without cause, wander lower and lower to stir up emotional storms that hold no significant meaning to anyone but a wisened spirit.

A mere sex buddy.

But, fortunately, also something of a more important nature.

Her pet wolf.

Because beneath a learned consciousness studying philosophy mainly out of pure interest but also due to not knowing what else to do, goes a persona seeking refuge in the ability to please others over digital highways while having a certain steady direction in the shape of a gorgeous owner.

As is the case during one’s youth, many new experiences are explored mostly out of curiosity and sometimes simply for shits and giggles. Porn is a discovery which combines the sentiments, the former becoming more and more dominant after filming a personal pleasurable session while continuously muttering the name of the wonderful woman who has put a boy in love in the friendzone and eventually putting it online afterwards. The desire to get to know the sensual field grew even more after seeing the positive comments, finding a sense of accomplishment in them.

Acknowledgement.

Something that has never followed the sex with Y/N, who always returns to Jisung, a young producer she met on a holiday in Malaysia. Thus, the strangely deep yet shallow friendship repeatedly ascends and descends, acquiring and losing statuses.

Fortunately, howbeit perversely and sadly, a form of recognition came one day during the cleaning of the bedroom in the house shared with six other men with whom a brotherhood has been established. Save to say, none of them knows what their trusted companion does as a job on the side to make ends meet.

The pretty lady was cleaning under the bed when fingers traced out the fluffy shape of the recently acquired stone grey tail plug, which was gifted by a long-time viewer after proposing to try something new.

‘Uhm, Joon? What’s this?’ The toy in hand, the secret crush looked questionably at a mortified face caught in a war between Truth and Lie.

Choosing for the righteous side with a soft-spoken voice because it seemed the only way to save a precious unrequited love. ‘I- I can explain. Can we talk for a bit?’

And that is how the revelation of the weekly cam shows came to be, though the detail of doing it out of an urge to be seen as a lover was kept hidden and has been up till now.

‘So you do this as an extra source of income?’ This is all she was allowed to know. The truth, albeit the censored version. The familiar voice heard speaking in tones that should be preserved for the busy boyfriend yet were heard by a pup sounded questioning, although there was a weird preluding tone in it as well.

‘Y- Yes. I hope it doesn’t-’ The attempt at gaining an estimate of the damage the information would inflict upon the sturdy friendship was cut short by a paradoxically misplaced inquiry.

‘Who’s your biggest patron?’ A question that fully showed the identity of the strange emotion floating beneath the surface just a second earlier, hand clenching the freshly washed navy bedding as teeth gritted in curious animosity directed toward something unknown.

Or, rather, someone.

Jealousy.

Y/N had actually turned emerald in envious despair.

Which was incredibly out of place for the love of a man for a gorgeous best friend had been unrequited until then. Until the sun sets in the west. However, failing to see that among the sheets the reality is different, fierce protest came against the then deemed absurd demeanour. ‘Does it matter? Y/N, it’s not as if we- ah!’

Out of the blue and as fast as lightning, a familiar small palm held many times while mindlessly fucking or on the rare occasion of genuine lovemaking - at least it was sincere for one party - enveloped denim heated with shameful images of what could be done with the discovered toy. Especially when surrendered to the woman who inherently belonged to another. ‘Nobody claims my wolf for themselves.’

‘Y- Your wolf?’ A slight squeeze awakened the submissive persona within that always surfaces when similar circumstances occur, reducing a baritone voice to needy whining.

‘Yes, Joonie. Mine.’ A whimper fell from full stunned lips, paralyzed by the digits that had slipped past the rim of jeans and underwear to act upon the primal urges overtaking demeanour, enjoying the sensation of sinning soft skin encouraging release. A mischievous grin began to grow from the snarl on my new owner’s lovely face, continuing to contrastingly sweetly caress the right cheek before petting chocolate milk strands as the knot in the pit of the stomach kept building. ‘My beautiful honey wolf.’

‘Y- Yours.’ The acknowledgement was spoken in the broken manner which has always been a loved aspect of a boy in love and has never failed to make Y/N happy.

The priority of every pet.

Of every man loving their significant other.

To delight the person the heart belongs to.

‘What’s that?’ Regardless of having heard it clearly, the statement allowing the enchanting mistress to claim full possession of a wolf boy wanted to be heard again if only for personal satisfaction.

The knowledge to be better than the biggest sponsor.

Because she was there first.

Always had been.

Always will be.

‘I- I’m y- yours.’ It came out on a squeaky breath, the pooling heat below having grown painful and turned even more agonizing when being encouraged further. A kiss on the neck went paired with a careful lick, testing the waters to discover how much this alternative animalistic personality was truly liked despite every instinct urging to act and chase a release into blinding bliss. ‘Let m- me m- make you f- feel good.’

And it was liked. Very much so, judging by the firm grip on whimpering locks driven further to the edge by fingertips sneaking towards the most sensitive part and suggestive tone in the whisper that definitely changed the relationship. ‘Then put on your pretty tail, Joonie, and let’s see how good my wolf really can make me feel.’

Being driven too much to edge already, everything went blank when connecting unprotected after the swift disposal of clothes covering the lower body but not being allowed to recuperate before being forced into moving by the firm grip on the behind and thus left mewling in overstimulation.

However, it is the duty of a pet to satisfy its owner.

The duty of a wolf to satisfy its bitch.

So the warm orange afternoon carried on into lilac twilight, breathing laboured while trying to perform to the best of capability despite clumsy movements that at some point no longer were given feedback but gone along with and thin spurts of gratitude.

Luckily, the pretty owner did not seem to mind it just like the audience tuning in weekly to see a stuttering baby boy did not mind the transformation into a submissive wolf pup which is owned. In fact, it sparked encouraging perverse cooing alongside sincere comments about the innocent sweetness of the situation, praising loyalty and looks.

A bond that remains even when Y/N is absent, keeping up appearances of a normal friendship by readily agreeing to Jisung’s plan to go on a holiday together and thus basically forcing a pup to be left behind. Withal, the wonderful mistress has found a way to make her baby wolf remember who adopted it, who it should remain in service to despite a prolonged absence.

Everything is set up for tonight’s broadcast, the camera set up just at the right angle to capture any increase of sensual excitement illuminated by the few additional not too brightly shining ring lights kept out of the screen. The vague scent of peach hangs in the air among linen and figs, stemming from the liquid aid supporting the transformation from a man into a boy in unrequited love. Furry chocolate ears protrude from same-toned locks and match the fluffy tail gifted recently after visiting the hairdresser together to return from icy platinum to warm brown, quickly falling into sinful teasing - as has become a habit between us - whenever nobody was looking.

To complete the outfit or, rather, the lack of clothes, hands are buried in the oversized sleeves of the striped sweater that was also given as a present because I behaved so well.

No, not me.

The persona.

The pet within.

Indeed.

Because I behaved and even trained to become a better lovable cub though the clumsiness shall never fade, no matter how many hours are spent on endeavours to improve performance. Notwithstanding, as long as nothing is said to indicate evident dissatisfaction, perhaps the way we are is the best despite being stationary.

Clearing the throat a few times to naturally fall into the cute demeanour concealed beneath a wise exterior, fingertips already slightly tease sensitive skin after pulling up an innocent picture of the beautiful woman turned into more than a friend. Slowly, sanity loses itself over the coy smile holding out a fork with a bite of homemade matcha cake, liking it only if she has made it. However, Reason can be prevented from getting completely lost in sensual limbo by stopping all movements before it starts to feel too incredible and fancy conjures an imitating spirit.

A deep longing sigh escapes at the view on agitated desire, twitching with the need for more yet having to wait in unwanted refraining until tonight’s plan is put into motion. ‘Ok, here we go.’

For the last time, all equipment is checked as well as the connection to the streaming platform. All is well.

Time to begin.

‘H- Hey, everyone. I- It’s me, J- Joonie.’ As soon as the record button is pushed, the stuttering alternative personality who loves wearing oversized sweaters and knows only to obey in order to please takes over fully. ‘M- Mistress is a- away on a h- ho- holiday and I c- coul- couldn’t come with her.’

The first comments about what a shame it is and filled with wonder how Y/N, nicknamed Mistress for privacy reasons, could do such a thing start to flood the chat window. Seeing the pity makes a warm flush spread throughout that rises to caramel cheeks which are swiftly covered by a sweater paw as the other continues to hide the twitching longing beneath. ‘Th- Thank you for your k- kind words. I- It’s a- al- alright, though. My pre- pretty owner has l- left a m- me- message so I’ll re- remember who I belong t- to. It’ll b- be like she’s h- here.’

More viewer reactions, this time praising the adorable stutter and loyalty of a good wolf pup.

Appreciation.

Love.

All that the gorgeous best friend with benefits cannot fully give to the philosophical mind always walking on the sideline, close yet far away. Lies down on the other pillow in the two-person bed after ensuring the heart belonging to another is cherished despite not being owned outside of the agreed-upon relationship.

The lover is inherently and undeniably hers.

Both the man and the wolf.

I am Y/N’s.

‘L- Let’s have a l- look at wh- what Mistress sent.’ From the side, the silver iPhone protected by a transparent case decorated with pastel pink paw prints is retrieved and the messenger app opened, my beautiful owner’s last message being the video meant for tonight.

One hand is already firmly wrapped around hardened heated skin once the recording commences, trying to control the throbbing a little longer. Already sets a cheeky slow pace at the first second showing a beloved bare body of which every inch has been kissed, especially on the days when everything felt futile.

Speeding up a bit when interest is perked by a fuchsia and twilight purple wolf dildo and the alabaster mess between spread thighs.

‘Joonie~‘ Ears perk up at being called by a familiar beloved voice, breathing accelerating and curiously tilting chocolate milk locks in anticipation of what will follow. ‘You’ve made quite a mess, haven’t you?’

A fake memory replays itself, repeating the moment of placing a wolf’s gratitude inside Mistress after tethering on the edge without being allowed to fall as nails etched beautiful long carmine trails over honey skin to mark territory. She looked more gorgeous than ever among the pale blue sheets, so much more wonderful than a common bitch.

And the mere thought of seeing it again fuels the growing and slowly becoming painful heat between muscled legs.

‘I know you’re on your rut.’ Impatiently, the wanton hardened shape glides suggestively among the ivory sticky mess, wanting to act on primal desire again but also be a good pup and wait for consent. ‘And I wish I could be there to help you with it.’

‘B- But you a- are here, M- Mistress.’ The delirium already starts to take over fast as the pleasurable pace accelerates yet is not fast enough to completely lose control. The word would have to be given first for that to happen. A good pet waits and obeys, does not come undone before it is allowed. Nevertheless, that does not mean whimpering is not allowed. ‘Pl- Please, I wa- wanna fuck. Kn- Knot you.’

‘But let’s pretend I’m there with you.’

A familiar hand moves the artificial plaything, no, real heated sensual craving closer to where a thick unclear stream flows languidly to coat it in the fluid. ‘You’re a naughty boy, aren’t you? Rutting against my leg all day. Fucking needy.’

‘Y- Yeah.’ It could not be helped because to a barely human mind Mistress looked incredibly alluring and smelled so sweetly of summer figs. And a fortunate oversized clumsy cub was allowed to indulge in the temptation. ‘You l- look so pr- pretty.’

Feeling impatiently brave, an attempt is made at a bodily connection without being given explicit consent. However, the start is quickly nullified and punished with a firm squeeze below that coaxes out a whine hanging somewhere between pain and delight. ‘Bad boy. Did I say you could put your thick throbbing cock in?’

Lips purse into a pout, ears flat against the scalp as a fluffy chocolate milk tail hangs low, speaking softly in apology. ‘N- No. S- Sorry, Mistress.’

‘So impatient.’ Again, all that is allowed is agonizingly teasing gliding among the mess already made, restraint becoming harder and harder to maintain. ‘Not even wanting to do foreplay.’

Slender fingertips move to the most sensitive part which is swollen in agitated red bordering on plum, reducing speech to simple-minded whining not very shy of wanton sobbing. ‘B- But you, ah, d- don’t like th- that. Al- Always, mhm, use j- just lube.’

‘Are you getting desperate, Joonie? Leaking?’ The mischievous palm moves away to give attention to parts left in neglect, a pleased smirk on the mouth kissed many times before in the way it wants. ‘Shit, look at those veins, how thick you are. You’re a big boy.’

‘Y- Yes!’ The mere sliding continues, edging a gradually fleeting soul further to the edge of ignorant bliss. Henceforth, only simply repeating is practically all that is possible in the way of talking. ‘I- I’m a b- big boy.’

‘We’ll use your cum as lube, Joonie. Now- What a shame.’

Nonetheless, consciousness is kicked off into the abyss anyway.

A disappointed sigh obviously stresses the severity of the made mistake. ‘You really can’t behave, can you? Bad boy.’

Luckily, a floating mind can come down rapidly enough to offer sincere apologies for the misbehaviour, trying to nuzzle the neck to strengthen the show of remorse but being denied to do so. ‘I- I’m sorry, Mistress. I di- didn’t, n- no, w- w- wait! I- I’m sen- sensitive. P- Please. G- Give me a- a- ah!’

A novel assault on the part which is the utmost susceptible to touch quickens breathing to short shallow breaths, nerves being forced into overdrive by the hurtful overload of contact. ‘I thought you’d be better than this, but it appears I have to teach you manners again.’ A thumb presses hard against the angry reddened skin, tail swishing in sensual panic. ‘I don’t care if you can’t handle it, you’re going to put your dick inside me and keep going until your knot makes my stomach bulge with cum. So, be a good wolf and... and- fuck, Namjoon~’

Accepting the punishment like a good pet, ignoring the pain of overstimulated nerves, the bodily spell is established again after being helped in lining up. Clearly to the delight of my pretty owner, who hums in breathless satisfaction. ‘Fuck, I’m clenching your hard thick cock. Feel your knot already forming, pressing against my pussy.’

The connection is exploited as much as possible, reaching the point of utmost hypnosis when seeing the lewd outline of sensual craving create a little bump in a soft stomach. And that could become so much more if the wishes caused by the rut are seen to fruition, but only if Mistress wants them to be as well, of course. ‘Wa- Wanna give you p- pups, em- empty inside.’

To worsen the chastisement and please the gorgeous woman beneath, hips snap at a rapid pace in the chase to a second shot of white ignorance. Tail high and swishing back and forth in sexual agitated delight, fluffy chocolate brownie ears perk up to zone in on the background noise accompanied by the symphony of skin on skin and barely audible praise mingled with gasps while expanding the mess already made. ‘Listen to that. How slick my pussy is with your thick cum inside. You’ll definitely make me pregnant.’

‘Y- You’d look even pr- prettier ca- carrying our children.’ The mere image of creating our own little pack drives the frenzy for release, imaging Y/N’s stomach rounded and beautiful breasts swollen with milk for our cubs. Finally, we would have something to proudly call our own. ‘I- I love you, lo- love you so so much.’

Determined irises suppressing the equal desperation for blissful blinding make contact, nails digging into the back of the neck and the pain adding to the pleasure of being the sole one for a gorgeous woman. For my pretty owner. ‘You gonna knot me again, Joonie? Make me your bitch, your only bitch?’

The rapid sweeping of the full tail signals being incredibly close to the long-chased climax, a wonderful state of being only the marvellous woman beneath can push her pet to. ‘Yes. Yes, yes! Y- You’re my, um, hmm, o- only bitch. The only, ah, o- one I wa- want.’

The only one I want to bring me to this point.

The only one I feel safe with.

Only her.

‘Oh my God, oh my God! Joonie! Shit, it’s so big.’ Familiar locks throw themselves into the pillow as a wolf’s gratitude slides in, laughing breathlessly in a moment of selfish pride, ears perked up. After all, a cocoa and honey wolf is the sole being which is allowed to do this, to be more of a lover than Jisung.

Make Mistress’s belly swell with cubs.

‘God! Yeah, stretch me open, big boy. Mmm, good pup. Love your cum flowing out of my pussy, the way you make my stomach bulge. Shit~ I love your wolf cock.’

‘Y- Yours. I- I’m yours. Only y- yours.’ Teeth bite down on the bottom lip, the barely aware mind utterly mesmerized by the show of pleased satisfaction. ‘You l- look perfect, M- Mistress.’

For a few seconds, the world slowly begins to turn as breath is regained and composure restored. Happy giggles fill the silence, soft caresses gliding over muscled arms in the aftermath and soothing the impact of the spell when it is nullified.

‘Fuck, look at how open you fucked me.’ Gaze wanders downward, humming bordering on whimpering at the sight. Richly and languidly, a thick alabaster stream flows between thighs, increasing the arousing mess between them.

A finger hooks beneath the chin, forcing a lock of gazes. ‘You’ll solely do this to me, understood? As soon as I’m back from my holiday, you’ll actually use me again as your bitch for the remainder of your rut and the ones to come. Do I make myself clear?’

The view causes a loss for words so that frantic nodding will have to substitute the strength of a promise that cannot be formed vocally. ‘Y- Yes, Mistress.’

The mirage fades away with the dawning realization there are comments on the screen, cooing at the fantasy of a lonesome pup which has its paws covered in a sensual mess.

‘R- Right, she isn’t h- here. Heh, how st- stupid of m- me.’ Voice reduces to whimpering, feeling the torn open gap that will not be filled. Left behind in the heart forevermore, even as a farewell is said to viewers sitting distantly behind a screen. ‘I m- miss her. But sh- she’ll be back. M- Mistress always c- comes back. Thank you f- for your kind w- words and keeping m- me company. Paw kissies from Joonie! Bye bye!’

But it is all just a fantasy.

The camera is turned off.

Just like the belief I shall ever be Y/N’s.

Fully.

Exclusively.

A pillow shielding a deepthroat cup is placed between muscled thighs.

And the preferred method of slightly healing the wounded part of a philosophical mind very easily twisted into a simple animal is given into.

The self-made noise mingling with the lewd sucking takes away the meaning of the burning tears streaming down.

Because all we have is this unrequited cruelty.

A wolf pup and its owner.

The truth untold.

#BTS #hyunglinenetwork #thekimlinenet #btssmutclub #smutcentralnet #BTS x Reader #Bangtan #BTS smut #Namjoon #RM #Kim Namjoon #Joon #cam boy!Namjoon #sub!Namjoon

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aaareplicawatchreviews · 2 years

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Wonderful Rolex Sky-Dweller 326939 42mm Silver Dial Fake Watch

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Dial:White

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Strap Material:White Gold

Diameter:42,00 mm

Glass:Sapphire Glass

Waterproof:100 m

Movement:Automatic

Caliber:9001

Number of stones:40

Power reserve:72 h

Vibration:28.800 /h

More Features Chronometer Functions Date GMT/Second Time Zone Annual Calendar Center Second

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fire-toolz · 5 years

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This Nonlocal Forecast Mix Offers Smooth Jazz Fit for Tears and Bong Rips

The Chicago-based artist best known as Fire-Toolz shares a mix of sounds from the world of her proggy computer jazz record ‘Bubble Universe!’ 

The Weather Channel isn’t really designed to be watched actively. It was part of the fabric of my Florida upbringing, a constant presence amid the stressful storm prep that accompanied hurricane season every year. As cyclones inched closer to our part of the state, my sisters and I would play board games with it on in the background. Some poor man in a poncho holding a microphone would be getting blown down the street in Boca Raton as our parents mulled whether or not this was a natural disaster worth fleeing the Tampa suburbs over.

That went for their musical direction as well. During their local weather segments, the station programmed these beautifully chintzy jazz tracks, borderline muzak so distinctive to the station that they began selling compilations of it. Those compilations don’t really hold up all that well, but there’s this memory in my head of emotionally layered and unrelentingly uplifting music that accompanied these segments. It’s probably some construction of nostalgia for simpler times, when even something as grave as a natural disaster was part of the background noise of childhood. But I feel an affection for the spirit of music like this nevertheless, all these years later.

A tape released earlier this year by Angel Marcloid—a Chicago-based musician who’s best known under the moniker Fire-Toolz—proves I’m not alone. The name she chose for the project, Nonlocal Forecast, is telling of its sonic motivations. In an interview with The Wire this week, she said that she too grew up with The Weather Channel as part of the background of her home environment, which developed into a genuine love of these sorts of sounds—emotional, swooning, and dramatic as they are. “I didn’t really end up finding out the names and faces until years later when the classic Weather Channel website popped up and nostalgic fans would upload recordings of old forecasts,” she told The Wire. “I remember back in maybe 2011-2012 scouring that website and writing down every single name.”

Bubble Universe!, the tape that resulted from her years of appreciating these sax-laden mood-setters, is a fair bit stranger than Weather Channel jazz compilations. Marcloid, who grew up a drummer, consciously evokes proggy rhythmic contortions and computer music editing trickier to create a surreal version of the sounds that one might hear on Local on the 8s. It’s sort of like when a digital TV broadcast glitches out and blurs things up a bit. You can still tell there’s a meteorologist on screen, but the colors are a little more vivid—the boundaries a little more jagged and twisted.

It’s a wonderfully strange record, and today, she’s offering another peek into her love for this music with a mix of fusion-y new age sounds. It’s beautiful, sweeping stuff, that Marcloid says should be fitting for just about any pleasant activity you can imagine doing, including, but not limited to: staring out of a window, crying, and taking bong rips. Listen below alongside an interview with Marcloid about the project.

NOISEY: How are we meant to enjoy the mix? What’s the perfect setting? 

Nonlocal Forecast: Although this mix is generally uplifting, it’s an emotional roller coaster for me. For some reason the first song makes me cry every time I hear it so I can’t listen to it at work. But then other songs are pretty adventurous. Track 2 makes me see lightning. In my world, it’s the perfect accompaniment to whatever you love doing the most. Sitting by yourself and listening to a light rain shower beating against your window. A windy chilly walk through a meadow where the sun is warming your skin. Driving through the desert. Floating in space. Sucking down bongs in your room with a nice pair of headphones on and a cat in your lap.

Was there any specific concept to the mix?

 I have a lot of music, and I acquire a lot at once. I throw it all on shuffle. Songs will stick out like sore thumbs, so I drag them to a folder. This process leads to getting lost in full albums of course, but this folder of songs just becomes so fucking charged. I took songs from that folder.

Do you have a favorite moment on this mix? 

Perhaps the violin solo build-up in Jerry Goodman’s “I Hate You.” My least favorite moment however, is when Goodman chose a name for the song.

Is synesthesia a real thing? If so, what color is this mix? 

My experience is that I see shapes, textures, colors and shades, emotional qualities, sentiments and values, recollections of past experiences, all sort of molded together in one matrix. It’s quite a rainbow of things if I look at the mix linearly. As a whole, it’s warm, glowing, glassy, full of green growth, completely safe, watery and flowing, cushy and fluffy, soft but refined. Blankets, rivers, lens flares, stuffed animals, wide open night skies, cats purring, maybe a little facing traumas with LSD as an aid.

When we chatted about the last Fire-Toolz release we talked about the function the more peaceful moments served on that record. What does it mean to you to do a record like Bubble Universe! that’s more consistently focused on that sort of headspace? 

That album flowed out of me so quickly and easily. I felt an effortless flow and peace putting it together. The drive to create was because I had just finished my next Fire-Toolz album and felt a strong momentum to keep going. Writing Bubble Universe! I felt no need to be hyper-focused on the compositional detail I put into Fire-Toolz productions. I guess to some people Fire-Toolz sounds like a mess while Nonlocal Forecast might sound meticulous and intricate in comparison. Screenshots of the programs I use would convince you otherwise. I felt like I made no conscious decision in composing this record besides deciding what preset to start with. Play a chord, next preset, play a chord, next preset. Next thing you know I had a full length. No second thoughts, no months of going back and forth and tweaking like I do with any given Fire-Toolz track.

I know I’ve seen you post tracks on Twitter before that are kind of like this mix and sound a bit like the stuff you’ve done on the Nonlocal Forecast record. Do you, as your name implies, have specific memories about hearing this stuff on the Weather Channel?

 The name Nonlocal Forecast has a double meaning. It is a reference to classic Weather Channel vibes, but it is also (and mostly) a reference to the phenomenon of Quantum Nonlocality, and viewing it through the lenses of both ancient spiritual wisdom and cutting edge physics.

I didn’t have this idea to make a record that intentionally ~channels~ the sounds of 80s and 90s new age, jazz fusion, and easy listening. Nor did I have the idea to adopt a Weather Channel theme. I just wanted to make some music and this is what came out organically and naturally. Probably because I haven’t listened to much of any other genres in the past several years.

As a listener, what specifically catches your ear in songs like these? 

There are melodies or chord progressions that will emerge out of these songs that stop me dead in my tracks. It’s what makes me drag them to my favorites folder. I really love the saxophone as a melody instrument, but somehow a lot of guitars and violins wound up on this mix to fill that role. Sonically, it’s all about the spaciousness, that unapologetically saccharine lead, and the timbre of popular 80s digital synthesizers and MIDI instruments. Put them all together with some jazzy chords and I’m drooling or crying.

Ninety-nine percent of the synth sounds on the Nonlocal album come from VST’s of the Korg M1 and Wavestation, and those instruments are scattered throughout the mix and staples of 80s music in general. I was definitely able to translate vastness, oneness, peace, vivid color, observing the beauty of weather patterns, inner-eye gazing into natural micro/macroscopic marvels, experiencing humanity as a single being. However I am nowhere near the jazz geniuses some of these artists are, and I couldn’t possibly have come up with their melodies and progressions if I tried. I’m coming at jazz fusion from a terribly unseasoned perspective. I’ve no legit jazz background. The Weather Channel raised me, but I was playing metal, punk, emo, noise. I rejected Tony Williams and Buddy Rich and embraced Chad Sexton and Mike Portnoy instead. Yes, Chad Sexton, and that gorgeous-sounding snare drum of his.

New age music sits at this interesting boundary between being functional music (whether for meditation or commerce) and like vaguely spiritual practice. Does any of this inform the way you listen or approach making music like this? What aspects of the packaging—for lack of a better word—of this stuff do you feel resonates with your approach?

 For some artists making new age music, spiritual or nature-themed track titles and artwork was a marketing trend. But for many others, they felt personally drawn to nature, relaxation, simple beauties and pleasures, presence and awareness, love and devotion. Often this music would be specifically presented as an assistant to a spiritual practice from a mystical and contemplative tradition. I think things like nature, relaxation, and spirituality are tight as hell. So naturally this music meshes well with my interests and passions. However my love for the music came long before I uncovered an unquenchable thirst for understanding the nature of reality and experiencing higher vibrations.

It’s all extremely functional music to me. It doesn’t blend into the background. It’s not shallow or plastic. It has a significant personality and value. Even the most bland, directionless sax solo over the most generic 80s electro-pop tune has an emotional depth and safe harbor to it that I could never finagle language to describe.

So this being a pretty focused genre-exercise, do you have any more projects like this kicking around your head? Are there other new directions you want to pursue outside of the Fire-Toolz stuff?

 I didn’t even want to do a new project at first. I felt completely fulfilled with Fire-Toolz and MindSpring Memories because I can do anything I want with Fire-Toolz and it still sounds like Fire-Toolz, and I can use songs I already love as my toolkit with MindSpring Memories. Nonlocal Forecast happened because that emotionally intuitive creative stream was flowing, and I was whining to Max from Hausu Mountain about how annoying it is trying not to get too backed up with new Fire-Toolz material. At the time I wouldn’t have a new LP out for another year and I was in raging MIDI mode, ready to translate insights into rectangles on a grid. I sent him some songs I was working on that were originally intended to be a new direction for Fire-Toolz. He told me to just pick a different moniker, forget the vocals as to separate it further from Fire-Toolz, and they’d release an album of it. Two months later Bubble Universe! was fully produced and mixed. I felt like I had just taken a big pee. All over Max.

There are a lot of sounds that I haven’t explored enough. New age ambient ska with death vocals and mixer feedback maybe? No new monikers, though. Exploring new things is what Fire-Toolz albums are for.

Tracklist: 0:00:00 Fowler & Branca - Etched In Stone (Etched In Stone, Silver Wave Records, 1993)  0:04:40 Brian Bromberg - Sedona (Brian Bromberg, Nova Records, 1993)  0:11:00 Jerry Goodman - I Hate You (It’s Alive, Private Music, 1987)  0:15:54 Tom Grant - Journey Within (The View From Here, Polygram, 1993) 0:21:04 Doug Cameron - Vertigo (Passion Suite, Spindletop, 1987)  0:24:32 Tom Scott - Water Colors (Flashpoint, GRP, 1988)  0:29:47 Checkfield - Live At Five (Through The Lens, American Gramaphone, 1988)  0:34:34 Christophe Franke - Black Garden View (Pacific Coast Highway, Virgin, 1991)  0:39:13 Trammel Starks - Old Town (Gentle Storms, Intersound, 1995)  0:43:48 Victor Biglione - Za-Tum (Baleia Azul, WEA, 1987)  0:49:00 Dancing Fantasy - Happy Harry (California Grooves, Innovative Communication, 1991)  0:53:16 Allan Holdsworth - Dodgy Boat (Wardenclyffe Tower, Restless, 1992)  0:58:42 Maxxess - Castle On The Mountain (Landscapes [1990-1995], Klangdesign, 2011)

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