#It's utterly disappointing for I keep on presenting such brief...boring...repetitive...cringe-worth...lack of excitement of a content...

[mademoisellekalopsia]

Self-Conflicting

Looking at the mirror has been one of the most difficult things the one with the kink had struggled with in a long time. Some say it’s just a mere reflection of themselves, to see themselves clearly. But, it is more than that.

|| CONTENT WARNING || Brief Writing (Feeling self-conscious about doing a lengthy writing) Mentions and scenes of post-masturbation Deep hiccups Mild Frustration Couple of Teasing Self-Talk and Openness Conflict on one’s enjoyment and their shame, and to comfort one’s abrupt case Several kisses

"Have...hhhh-Have they...disappeared?" A uttered with hope, although a hint of disappointment in their tone as they rubbed B's exhausted belly. They could feel B's drawing breath, their belly moving up then back down.

They felt a drop of sweat run down their face, revealing their exhaustion from quite a pleasuring, vocal session, reaching their peak just minutes ago.

"Who have disappeared?" B feigned clueless, subtly closing their lips in as if they hadn't coursed through an intense case and build-up masturbation earlier. A and B panted, letting themselves rest under each other's presence in the comfort of their shared bed.

Warm puffs of air escaped both of their lips. B fondly wipes A's sweat away, leaving A to groan at their caress. They were a bit sensitive to be touched, and without the need to tell B about it, they watch B pull their hand back. A appreciated their gesture. There was a soft grin etched on B's face.

"Your...[Panted] you know." A would have trouble saying IT, mentioning the very THING they enjoy seeing, hearing, and feeling.

"Hm? Which is what exactly?" B whispered in a mellow tone. Both of them were still feeling the remaining "buzzing" sensation.

A couldn't help but grumble at B's knowing tease, leaning further to their spouse. "You KNOW what I mean." A spoke, their tone was filled with slight feigned annoyance and more on wonder.

"And I'm looking out for you, you goof. How dare you tease me like this! MmMMm!" A added in their inner voice. They swallowed a soft grunt knowing B is up to something.

B lets out a deep chuckle, kissing their beloved's forehead. "Ahh, you mean my hiccups?" [Smirking] B said straightforward.

It left A feeling flushed, which B couldn't help but find it cute. What an endearing sight to behold. A tried to convince their spouse how ridiculous they always look when they blush, and the longer B looks at them, the more A is close to having a nosebleed out of flusteration.

Can one even get a nosebleed from being flustered?

"Hmm...they have actually." [Nodding their head] "Suppose they–" B slightly cleared their throat, their hand subtly resting on their belly. "They settled down and had their play."

A tilt their head, eyes squinting as if they are sensing some impeccable teasing coming. But they were too drained both mentally and physically to anticipate and react, nodding at their B's word instead.

But inside, they were somewhat hoping to feel and hear IT one last time.

It was conflicting, they admit to themselves. But they are more focused on B's comfort. That should be prioritized, first and foremost.

They care for them as much as they care for A. Communication will do the rest, if the willingness to be open about it is certain.

"Oh, good." [Nodding] "Good. Good. Good." A replied in relief, feigning slight disappointment. "I'm glad they have subsided. Let's...lay here first, before washing up, please? I can't feel my legs."

Hearing A's words of concern and care for B warmed B's heart, nodding and humming deeply in agreement. They pull A to their front, enveloping them in an embrace of appreciation and rest.

For the most part, A felt relief for both of them in manner of tending to their satisfaction. Excitement. And that's what matters. The session was a fulfilling one for sure with the mild frustration from innocent teasing and the hiccuping beyond B's control. A was grateful for B's understanding. Exploring their kink was a huge personal topic to address. It took some time for genuine openness.

There was this one memory, before the whole kink acceptance. A finds themselves looking at the bathroom mirror after masturbating in private. They witnessed B's quick-paced hiccups and couldn't bear to hold it any longer, retreating to the bathroom to tend their growing arousal. They felt dirty. Disgusting. Those words lingered their mind and–

"Did it feel good?" A looked up to the bathroom mirror. They held their ground, gripping and leaning onto the sink. Their reflection of themselves was speaking to them at that moment, imaginatively.

A lets out a shaky breath, feeling their eyes swell. "I...it hurts. That I feel this way." They silently confessed to themselves. "They're my fucking spouse. Why do I...feel the need t-to hide this part of myself from them. So. Bad?! [Slightly hyperventilating] It's so complicated!" A runs a hand over their face out of frustration.

A long pause and silence enveloped the bathroom walls.

[A deep inhale, then an exhale] "I'm making this so complicated for myself." A admitted out loud to themselves. They swallowed a heavy lump, trying hard to stifle a sob.

They found themselves looking up again to their reflection once more. Eye-to-eye. They could feel their moist hands from their recent release, feeling both knackered and in bliss. The moment was conflicting, indeed.

"You always kept an open mind. You know what is right from wrong. You know that to yourself. And you honestly don't have to rush it. But that kink of yours...will be revealed. Some day. When you're ready. Or if they find out in some other way." A's reflection teased. They could perceive their reflection talking to them. A part of themselves speaking to them, so to speak.

A understood that very well. It's just the fear of judgment that plagued their mind, refraining in confession. They ached so much from the thought. Before, it's hard for A to see themselves in the mirror. Because of the lingering feeling of arousal from their partner's case, only to excuse themselves to tend to the overwhelming need to get off and find relief.

They stayed quiet. Alone in the bathroom accompanied by the sounds from the leaky faucet. They stood there, feeling awful for their reactions and thoughts. Until their reflection reached out to them with open arms, bringing A to an embrace. "Hugging myself" is what they visualize it as. Their other half will, then, be consumed to their heart, where in reality, A was hugging themselves tight. Sobbing. But their brief self-talk brought needed peace and reflection.

They'll get there. They're just not ready, and that's okay.

Ending the flashback, A's rest was interrupted when they felt rumbling and a sudden thick jostle against B's body.

"HUCK'LP!" B lets out an audibly deep hiccup that rocks their belly forward.

B just had to time it, hiccuping close to A's ears. In return, A gasped in disbelief, groaning at the action. They looked at B with a slightly feigned scoff.

"Dude! You tease, so they weren't gone after all! I…ooh–I should've known. I noticed you clearing your throat midway while talking!" A thumped a hand on B's chest lightly only to be rewarded with a deep hiccup back. The jostle almost tamed A in contentment, a dopey smile on their face. But they shook their head, when they realized B was smirking hard.

Their reaction left B chuckling as well. Their eyes say "Sorry. I love you, though." A looked at them with soft eyes and a long sigh of defeat in return.

"You're lucky I find you endearing, but your antics—[Grumble] I swear." A buried their face in B's chest, feeling the rumbling from B's chuckles and several lingering hiccups that coursed their body for a few minutes. B kissed A's head before their own head lurched back at a sudden hitch.

"You wer-HRK! Hoping for th—them. HMRK! I can-HMK! tell." B gave A another peck on the cheek this time, grunting after they felt another hiccup that caved their chest in. It was evenly spaced out, the pace was growing ever quick. These moments were relished for the last time. B didn't mind tending to A's interest as their case gradually subsided as time ticks by.

"I—Ch-Sss...Shush! I did not ASK to be exposed. Jerk." A chided, mumbling their words. Their cheeks glow faintly in a rosy hue.

Why did they love B again and are they feeling another waterfall coming? The room has certainly gotten warm. A little too warm.