#It's the context for the actual tips and tricks xD

[polarisbibliotheque]

Writing Advice - Answering an Ask part 1

Hey everyone!! I recently got a super cute, beautiful and heartwarming ask requesting writing advices/how to beat writers block.

I wrote the answer on a doc and it has 3 pages, so I'm gonna be posting it in different parts - do forgive and AMAZING ANON WHO ASKED ME I HOPE YOU SEE THIS, IT'S PART OF YOUR ANSWER xD

Seriously, I've been sitting on this answer for a week now thinking how I'm gonna make it shorter >.<

So, without further ado, for the first part of the answer, I wanna tell a little bit about my writing journey - how I got from "not writing at all" to where I am now.

Because people think that you have a gift and words just flow like ambrosia in the cups of the gods - but I've actually started writing some pretty cringe stuff when I was 10 years old to get to a more poetic sort-of writing during my 29s currently.

THEREFORE, a little bit on how I got from cringy to still cringy but sometimes good writing ;)

I started by telling made-up stories to my sister when she couldn’t sleep and to my cousins during sleepovers because, I don’t know, they seemed to like my stupid little stories when I was 7 years old – or even younger. Sometimes I wrote some things, sometimes I didn't. But I was telling stories!

When I was 13, I discovered the magic world of fanfiction, and I wrote and published a HORRID thing on a fanfic website in my country, based on the band McFly that me and my sister adored back then (the gods have graced me with the power of deleting it and I thank immensely to that).

It was the first time I wrote AND published something to an audience outside of my friends/family.

After that, I kept on writing, and I moved to creating my own stories. When I was 14, I wrote a fanfic with the same band, but really the main theme was that I was an archeologist living in Egypt who researched on Atlantis and ended up finding the lost city. Somehow, I was allowed to climb the pyramids as well - because, you know, I ADORE Tomb Raider, and if Lara Croft could do it, so could I.

Told ya there would be some pretty cringy stuff in here, huh? xD

When I turned 15, I was bullied non-stop at school and so creating stories became my way to escape reality and have some fun with the people I wanted to meet in my life. I started carrying a notebook everywhere with me – it was my writing notebook. I had so many stories, and I never finished any of them (and good heavens, they are THE MOST cringy stuff, I’m glad they will NEVER see the light of day).

But I use the writing notebook thing to this day - whenever I'm travelling and internet isn't granted, I have somewhere to write.

I finished my FIRST novel when I was 16!! I was SO HAPPY about it!! It took me a year and a half writing it: a young adult book, kinda like Twilight (it was THE thing back then), with a secret society based on Arthurian Legend because I was a sucker for everything King Arthur (still am).

I can’t BEAR to read the first page of it nowadays, because c’mon. It was 15-year-old depressive me being bitter about everything and post-Twilight frenzy. The universe and worldbuilding has one HELL of a potential, but oh LORDS, it IS painful to read. I was a teen after all… But I finished a novel! If I haven’t done it, I wouldn’t be writing the way I’m writing today!

When I got into Law School, things got a little slow. I couldn't focus too much on writing and my social life improved a lot. I started tweaking my Arthurian story, but nothing too defined - I kept on writing lots of WIPs, though.

Around my 20’s, while I was close to graduating Law School, I started writing again… Supernatural fanfiction. With the SOLE PURPOSE of self-indulging, because I couldn’t find A SINGLE fanfiction that I could self-insert and love Dean Winchester while kicking some demon ass (sorry, I couldn’t resist the Nico inside me).

That led me to writing a 4-part Supernatural fanfiction that, honestly, for the next 6 years, it was the thing that made my heart soar while I was slaving away at a job I hated.

While I was overworking my ass off, I started writing (brace yourselves...) BTS fanfiction. I got into the band and some people from the website I wrote my Supernatural fanfic embraced me and kinda put me in the group and into the BTS world.

I was on the path of a burnout, so that became my escape - the girls from the website were so nice and we had many MANY writing projects of short stories. Throughout the years, I think I wrote around 25 or 30 stories, 40 pages max, to publish on this website and just have fun.

It started nice, but as time went by and I started moving out of the rom-com clichés (which are nice, don't get me wrong, we all love 'em) and became more existential and philosophic with a lot of metaphorical things while writing - and people stopped reading my work. I started to think I was bad, no one wanted to read because I lacked quality in my writing, or just my stories weren't so appealing as I thought. So I lost my will to write and slowly went back to my personal original stories.

When I hit 25 years old, I got fired and had a full burnout. I got really sick and my life literally stopped for the last 5 years - it has been hard, but that gave me time to sit back on my computer and recover ALL the books and stories I never finished writing.

I am NOT joking, I just counted all of them, and I have 65 DIFFERENT unfinished stories sitting on my Word folder right now on my computer. I also have a txt file I keep some “ideas that might be interesting to work on” and those have around 12 different full ideas of stories I might never write as well.

Upon hitting 27, I went back to writing niche fanfiction I didn't think anyone would want to read, so I published it here. I thought no one would want to read Devil May Cry fanfiction written by a woman who clearly worries more about the internal turmoil of characters rather than if what I'm writing is cute/rom-com like.

I opted for a more adult approach - given Dante and Vergil are adult men with lots of traumas, and I thought "hey, I don't have to write teenage things anymore, I can actually write how two adults would have difficult conversations and relationships in this fucked up world of ours" and that made a HUGE difference to my writing.

and once again thank the gods I found my people who like to read this sort of stuff :)

For quite a while, I was worried if what I was writing was consumable - you know, if the romance was that kind of tacky romantic thing to sweep you of your feet with perfect characters who don't exist, if people only have good times and are always laughing and having fun, if people enjoy touching each other 24/7 and being romantic and all that sugar coated stuff, if what I'm writing is politically correct, if it hasn't any subjects that are triggering or "wrong" in any sort of capacity... And that stiffed me. I lost my will to write and I stopped enjoying it, because I couldn't get my ideas out anymore.

Being quite honest, I'm not a person who had an easy, beautiful life. I had many things happen to me that made me understand Vergil on a soul level (and I think that's why I'm so comfortable writing him, as much as I hate that man), because I'm wary of people and my trust issues make me keep everyone at bay. I can only put my feelings safely out on my writing and my music, and I wasn't being able to.

So I tossed everything out of the window and started writing unhinged stuff. And oh, that made me feel SO good! I always smile a lot when re-reading my Cyberpunk-style story and a character called Abby tattoos on the ass of a corporate man that he is hers bitch, and when a "fallen angel" from my vampiric story smiles creepily and tells everyone she's got the most unhinged vampire on a leash and tells him to just kill everyone in the room for sheer revenge.

Not the best, politically correct stuff. Very wrong, by the way. But I had so much fun writing them, and it has so much character building behind these actions, it makes me feel nice :)

Out of all the 65 WIPs on my computer, I have around 5 that I think are really worth it for a full novel and so. They are:

My Arthurian Legend based novels. I outlined a series, I made character sheets, I planned and planned and planned... Since I'm 15, I've been thinking about it. Someday, who knows, this story will see the light of day.

My Cyberpunk-style novel. Halfway through it and every time I go "oh this is too heavy, I can't write this" I just toss the thought out of the window and go for it. Quite unhinged, very existential and grim, everyone is depressed and traumatized, but I love it :)

The Angel-Vampire stuff. Or, as I call it sometimes, the trip of an angel-like being going through the 7 deadly sins until finally falling for good, all aided by the most unhinged vampire in town. It's more like a villain origin story than anything else.

The Tea Shop thing. Oh, this one has been on my mind since 2018 and only now I've found some plot I like for it. Creation (yes, humanized form of creation) runs a tea shop and everything is fine until a woman enters and she has no Universe inside her eyes - and that is something to be afraid of. Doesn't make sense? Oh, yes, indeed. I'm going crazy with the concepts on this one, thanks to Neil Gaiman and The Sandman.

The rockstar guardian angel one. That's it. It's literally what the premise says: a woman has a dead rockstar as a guardian angel - and they couldn't be more opposite of each other. It doesn't help she's investigating his death and can talk to ghosts.

And my original vampire story, which I just call Nathan and Kathleen. I started this one when I was 16 or 17, so the writing is VERY cringy. I had just seen The Witcher 2 gameplay and, by then, I had never seen anything like it. As it's expected, I'm re-writing the 150 pages of unfinished work I already have.

Will this stop me from writing the other WIPs whenever I want to? Nah. I’ll keep on writing. Even if they are bad or horribly cringy.

Why am I blabbering about ALL this???

Because the most important stuff you can do is write.

You see, I didn't start out writing the way I do today - and I have so many stories, with so many pages, that I like so much, but I read it nowadays and I see I need to re-work them. And that's how you evolve! That's how you get better! By refining your abilities!

This is something I learned with the rockstars I love so much. None of them started out by playing perfectly - most of them had to sit down, listen and learn their instruments on their own. They got a LOT of things wrong to start getting something very simple right. And the more they play, the more they train, the more they refine, the better they become.

The same goes to writing - so, keep on writing! Everything you can, as much as you can, don’t feel bad about starting something new and never finishing another one, and don’t feel like you need to put out a masterpiece every time you sit to write.

Sometimes you just need to… Write.

[mariequitecontrary]

2024 TF Reverse Mini Bang Memories Part 1

With the @tf-bigbang discord server closing today, I thought I'd share just a few of my favorite memories during my first community fandom event :)

Not to be dramatic, but this event changed the trajectory of my part in the transformers community for the better. It felt like I was at a 4 month long summer camp! I had so much fun talking to everyone and making so many precious, precious friends that I truly hope to stay in touch with.

So buckle in and grab some boba or your preferred drink of choice, because this is going to be long and sentimental.

A Welcoming Start

I joined at the beginning of April, due to someone reposting the Big Bang's twitter post about how writers were still welcome to join. I thought, "Only 5k word requirement over the course of a few months? Yeah sure. I can do that." Little did I know I'd actually committed to writing a fic almost 5 times that length

The vibes in the discord server started out with a bang (heh). Everyone was immediately kind and welcoming to one another. It was an immediate safe space to be excited, let loose and show our freak XD I loved how ferally affectionate we were with bringing new friends into the fold.

A sketch by @nepetacataria-art perfectly shows this I think XD

The Support and Love Shared

The sheer amount of love, comradery, and support shared with one another was astounding. Almost 200 writers and artists shared tips and tricks and offered advice and encouragement to each other! It was unreal and I learned so much. It truly encouraged me to improve in my craft and even inspired me to want to learn how to draw again!

Oh, and the RECS everyone shared!!! Everyone shared so many fics and art pieces that I am now obsessed with! I have been blessed with a LOT of quality, amazing content that I never would have seen otherwise! My tbr list grew from large to neverending haha <3

Teasing the Artists Before Match Ups

I'm ngl, I had WAY too much fun once the sketches were released to the writers and the secret-authors-corner channel was made. We all OBSESSED over all of the art and fangirled over each one! But we also talked, and talked, and talked. And dropping out of context messages into the public channels for the artists to see was too much fun!

Talking Transformers

IT WAS THE BEST THING EVEERRRRRR!!!!! WOWOWOWOWOW! I loved raving about characters and lore, both canon and fanon! Even when I wasn't a part of the conversation, just lurking and reading what people talked about whether it was AUs, comics, shows, character breakdowns, brainstorming ideas...it was all so cool and so fun. Everyone is so creative and thinking about the sheer amount of fun we all had makes me tear up.

Like, SO MANY plot bunnies were made with everyone! Myself included! Sometimes people would just say a random ass thing and then five others would hop on, riffing against each other and developing that little idea into something concrete and so so JUICY.

Two out of many MANY conversations that I personally loved were the video games x transformers ideas and talking tentacles and transformers in the nsfw channel XD

Writers Panicking, As We Do

It was all in fun, but it was very entertaining and validating to be in a space where we can all stress about our writing, our fics, and approaching deadlines.

The mods clearly enjoyed adding endless fuel to the fire and (lovingly) watched us all scream and run around in a fiery chaotic panic over every little thing.

Streaming

I didn't get to join many, but it was always so cool watching artists draw! I also had a lot of fun streaming Hades 2 with a few friends with it was first released :)

Team 0 - A King Julien Starscream Fic

It all started when Writer's Choice Period began...and the example inspired many of us writers to obsess over this...I'll let the screenshots tell you XD

A King Julien Starscream fic just WORKS and you can't tell me otherwise! @mendely's sketch REALLY sold it to me as a thing that's GOTTA happen.

Madagascar AU FTW

AND THEN THE MODS MADE IT A THING THING

@useless19's king julienscream puppet owns my soul and their little vid is possibly the finest piece of silent cinema I've ever watched in my entire life. I was ENRAPTURED.

@sxpaiscia's art KILLS ME. PUTS MY HEART IN A CHOKEHOLD. Julienscream lives in my head rent free and 50% of it is imagined with their art in mind.

The sad end to the story is...the Team 0's fic wasn't completed within the time requirements to be posted with the rest of the Mini Bang's fics :( Do we still plan on continuing and finishing it? HELL YEAH WE ARE!

To Be Continued...

Did you know that there is a limit to the amount of images you can share in one post? SMH.

Link to Part 2!

[katyspersonal]

😨 🤥 🕷️ 🌌 about your oc Geranea :з

Thank you for asking about her!! I still really need to draw a proper reference of her hunting outfit and weapon, but for now 80% of my WIPs are visual references and it is slowly destroying me т.т

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

😨 FEARFUL - when scared, do they go into "flight" or "fight"?

'Fight' reaction is her default! If this is some kind of a wild predator animal (or, a dangerous beast, more appropriately to the context), she will fight without a second of hesitation, and very furiously so! It would apply to dangerous people too, like someone trying to rob or attack. She is that kind of person whose body just "knows" how to fight the exact second there is a reason to. If the threat IS too much for her to take on however, she also soon measures it and knows to run.

It applies in less drastic contexts, too, like someone making her scared or anxious in simply conversations. She defaults to scolding a person that alerted her, angrily, blushing and with her fists balled, and if she realises she picked a dangerous opponent in a conflict (like, say, starting a quarrel with people like Brador or Alfred) she will retreat. It is like a second nature, sensing whether default to fight or make an exception and fight. She has good "instincts"!

🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?

Geranea is an okay liar when not a lot is at the stake, she could tell a small lie to keep someone's secret or get them out of trouble but would not lie for a personal gain. But when she got sent into Research Hall she had to lie, a lot. She needed to swipe various tools to help herself and others, avoid various chemicals and procedures, even help the patients that still could be saved...

Her face is not the most emotive (I swear her only expressions are 'tired' or 'angry' xD), but it is her body language that gives her lying away. When the cost of her lie being found out is high she blushes up to her very ear tips, hods hands in fists and overall looks stiff and tense. And, well, you don't want to attract unnecessary attention of cunts like Micolash or Brador of all people.... Since this is so inconvenient, Geranea tricks her own body by 'omitting' rather than straight up lying; comforting herself with how she technically says the truth actually helps her to relax and no longer look suspicious!

🕷️ SPIDER - what is their biggest fear? do they have any irrational / mundane fears?

She has quite generic fears of heights and the dark that not even much more horrifying Yharnam experiences weeded out! She will also dwell quite strongly if she had near-death experience recently (like for example someone's weapon JUST missing her head). The fear of ghosts, however, became a thing of the past after she had to fight several! Previously, they were the exception of her 'fight' reaction, the girl was screaming and running away! I guess it is too bad that she can't punch the height or the darkness in the face, then. xD

After leaving Research Hall by herself at last, her biggest fear became being found and returned to it. She still saw nightmares about it even since Research Hall, from her knowledge, got shut down and retooled into an "Orphanage". Even with her kindness, she tries to 'not think too hard' about the fact that most likely they experiment on children now, only to not deal with feeling like returning there and saving whoever she could is her duty.

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

Damn, the story of her appearing is actually such a good memory for me, oh my god! I first thought of her back in Summer 2021! Remember how I told that sometimes I am sitting and minding my own business but random memories about Bloodborne lore bits simply 'appear' in my brain, like if I caught a radio frequency? Well, one day, my brain randomly grasped at the link of "hmmm, Valtr's helmet is missing one eye, he curses "freakish slugs and mad doctors", Yamamura was spyoning on dark Healing Church business as he is a summon for Living Failures, Valtr helps fighting Laurence and Ludwig.... I need to check whether Eye Pendant looks like an eye, ONE SECOND-"

So yeah! I also was and still am 'Valtr has both eyes as we are allowed to see' truther but back then it looked like canon rather than just one of the interpretations for me, so that sorta helped x) I decided whoever owned the Iron Helm previously was missing an eye, for the reason of Research Hall taking it, sought Valtr's help (as a cop??? xD) with their shady business and was significant enough in Valtr's life to make her associated item a symbol of League's mission!

.....and this was just me trying to look like I was super planned from the start lol. x) BEFORE this tangent, I already fell for guilty pleasure of wanting to make an OC deceased member of the League, just ask @val-of-the-north! I loved the concept of her dealing primarily with plant-like "filth", since flowers and alike in Bloodborne are a symbol of reaching for the skies for salvation and many corpses, especially in Hunter's Nightmare and Dungeons, sprout mold or flowers from their bodies. They grow from blood, everyone's blood has human dregs, blablablabla.

But after the Research Hall idea I soon decided to combine the characters into one! Again, back then, existence of previous Iron Helm owner felt extremely apparent for me, I was a sweet summer child (literal summer lol) yet to learn just HOW few things in Bloodborne are indisputable :/ And I wanted to breathe life in an "mentioned character" (in Iron Helm description) more than I wanted an OC, at least back then! ...then I screwed myself over with the idea that maybe this helmet is Djura's wielder helmet (it even misses the same eye!), and THEN I screwed myself over more thinking that maybe two-eyed Valtr we see is a snapshot by "Flora of the Moon and the Hunt" of his most efficient stage of life. And THEN Val had to battle me on still keeping Geranea because I deserved one (1) break from fiddling with "the most reasonable" theory instead of just taking it easy fdhfhds

She also was a she from the very start because I just like female characters, but initially her hair was black. I always associated her with cyan/aqua color though, especially darker tones. I guess dark red hair felt like a good contrast in the end!

Thank you for letting me talk about Geranea!

[mx-ishikawa]

first self-insert story I’m posting to this blog! starring Dr Two-Brains of Wordgirl fame, because I've been quite fond of him lately... actually, fond is an understatement. XD" so I wrote this little meet-cute fanfic that was intentionally written to be cheesy (get it? haha). I tried to keep it true to the spirit of the show, while also telling it as if it was something that happened just the other day, if that makes sense. there's like, maybe five total swear words in this, so small warning for that. also, considering the context of the show, you might wanna keep watch for the words "encounter" and "infatuated". just saying. ;P

           It was just another beautiful day in the city. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and somebody was running out of the next building over screaming, but apparently that last bit was normal around here. I was just making my way over to the grocery store for, well, some groceries. I had really only been in there once before, but it seemed like such a nice little grocery store, reminiscent of the local supermarket I used to work in back home.

           I had just recently moved to Fair City a couple weeks ago after getting accepted into the art school there. It was fairly cheap and had a wide range of programs to choose from, so I was thrilled to go there. Being a couple thousand miles away from my old home didn’t bother me in the least bit. Heck, I was glad to get away. But I didn’t realize how crazy this city could get until I moved there. The place was getting constantly pillaged by a wide array of villains, some with weird powers, some with giant robots, and some who were just looking for trouble, and people let a little kid and her monkey handle all of that?? But, Wordgirl is an alien, and a very smart kid with a good head on her shoulders, so she seems like she can handle it. I was lucky enough to briefly encounter her about a week before, and the kid’s got spunk, I’ll tell you that. Not to mention Huggyface is an adorable sidekick. Yes, the city may have been safe in her hands, but little did I know the mess I was about to get myself into…

           I entered the store and looked around, trying to remember where everything was. I was probably gonna have to go through every aisle in order to find what I needed, because my memory is TERRIBLE. I pulled out my miniature notebook from my pocket, let’s see, what do I need—oop, that’s not my grocery list, that’s my villain encounter list! I turned the page, nope, that’s a bunch of phone numbers, another page, still not it, that’s school information, another page, oh there it is! Let’s see here… coffee, bread, cheese, soda, chips… I squinted at the last bit of scribbles. Goshdarnit, I can’t even read my own handwriting! What the heck is THAT?? Oh well. I made my way through the maze of aisles, trying to navigate to my needed items. It didn’t take me long for me to find the coffee, thankfully—but I also found a leak in the ceiling! I turned to the man that I recognized as the manager of the store; thankfully he was nearby.

           “Uh, excuse me, sir,” I said, waiting until he turned his head to me before continuing, “but, um, it looks like there’s a leak in the ceiling right up there, cuz there’s like, there’s a puddle down here, so uhh…” I trailed off after pointing in the respective directions. The manager immediately perked up.

           “Ah! Excellent eye! We could use perceptive people like you around here! You’re hired!”

           “I—I wasn’t—" Actually, I could use a job, but this felt too informal; I didn’t even fill out an application! “I was just trying to help y—AAHHH !!”

           CRASH!

           I cringed as the stack of pickle jars I unwittingly backed into fell to the floor with the nerve-wracking sound of breaking glass.

           “Oh my god, I am so sorry!” I immediately panicked.

           “Aw, I just put those up!” the manager yelled. “You’re fired!”

           “Oh dear…” I shifted my eyes, debating on running away from the mess I caused and never coming back, but my manners got the better of me. “At least let me help you!”

           “Well alright then,” the manager said. “I’ll handle the glass, here’s some paper towels.” He handed me a roll of paper towels that he seemingly pulled out of nowhere, and we immediately got to work. He quickly grabbed a bucket for the glass, and I worked on mopping up the pickle juice. Soon enough, I felt someone else’s presence.

           “Here, let me help, too,” a familiar, high-pitched voice said. I didn’t quite realize who it was until I happened to look up mid-sentence.

           “Aw, that’s alright, you don’t have to—ey, Becky!”

           Becky Botsford is a very smart and sweet fifth-grader that I met the other day when her art class took a field trip to my campus. If I may brag, she seemed rather infatuated with the cartoon-style art I was doing, and expressed her envy of her best friend’s art skills. So I introduced her to some artist tips and tricks. I taught her the old lines and shapes technique, which is probably the oldest one in the book, but it really works, and the two of us felt most comfortable around each other during the time her class was there. I could’ve sworn she looked familiar, but she insisted that we had never seen each other before, so that was probably my brain playing tricks on me. How funny of her to show up again; I was just starting to miss the kid.

           “Hey Light,” she said, grabbing a paper towel to clean the juice. “How’s everything going?”

           “Besides being a clumsy moron who knocks over stacks of pickle jars, life’s been good I suppose.” I chuckled nervously, which earned a giggle from Becky in response.

           “Aww, don’t say that, it happens to the best of us,” she said. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done similar things while trying to stop a crimi—I mean stop Bob from eating all the food.” Her pet monkey, Bob, squeaked in apparent disapproval. I laughed a little at the animal.

           “Hey, at least you have an excuse,” I said, “I’m just a klutz.”

           “Well, you’re not the only one,” she reassured. 

           “Thanks for lending a hand, young lady!” the manager praised as he began plucking pickles off the floor.

           “Yeah, thanks for helping out, Becky,” I added, scratching the back of my neck.

           “Oh, it’s no problem,” she insisted. She then got a little closer, as if she were about to share a secret. “Anything to get away from my mom’s coconut craze,” she mumbled. 

           I chortled. “Coconut craze?”

           “Ugh, coconuts are on sale this week and my mom keeps obsessing over them!” Becky groaned exasperatedly. “She’s infatuated with them! Like, what are we going to do with so many coconuts?!” Bob squeaked again just then, to which Becky said, “You got that right, Bob.”

           “I know how you feel, kid. My dad’s the same way with his chili. I swear to god, every time I turned around he’d be making that stupid chili even though he knew darn well my mom and I both don’t like it! He’s especially terrible with it in the wintertime, like jeez.”

           “Parents, right?” 

           “I hear ya.”

           We shared a laugh as the last of the mess was cleaned. “Phew, got that out of the way,” I said. “Anyway thanks again for helping me with that. Are you sure we didn’t encounter each other out on the street or something before the other day?” I was sure my brain was just tricking me into thinking Becky was a familiar face, but I pressed it one more time in jest. Becky giggled.

           “Nope, I’m sure you never saw me before.”

           “Encounter?” the store manager suddenly butted in. “Is that some new type of material I’ve never heard of? I could really use a new kitchen counter.”

           “No sir, it doesn’t have anything to do with kitchen counters,” Becky began. “To encounter someone or something means to meet with or bump into them, usually unexpectedly. Like how Light here and I happened to run into each other in the store at the same time. We encountered each other.”

           “Yeah!” I agreed. “Or how I’ve encountered several villains since I’ve moved here, so I made a list of all the known villains in the city and put a check mark by each one I’ve met!”

           “Wait, you have a list of villains you’ve encountered?” Becky asked. Bob squeaked in confusion.

           “Yep I do! So far, I’ve ran into The Butcher, Mr Big, Amazing Rope Guy, Tobey’s robots, a couple of Lady Redundant Woman’s copies, and I met Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy twice. He seems so nice, I can’t see how he could be evil.” 

           “Wow, sounds like you’re having a crazy time here,” Becky said. 

           “Yeah, but I like crazy, so this is awesome!”

           “Becky~! Bob~!” a jolly female voice suddenly called from a couple aisles away. “Come check out all these wonderful coconuts!” I wheezed in amusement.

           “I’m guessing that’s your mom?”

           “Yes,” Becky said flatly. “Guess I should get going,” she sighed. “But hey, hopefully we can see each other around again sometime!”

           “Yeah, see you around, kid!”

           Becky quickly jogged over to the aisle her mom must’ve been in. I still couldn’t shake the sense of familiarity from her, but maybe it was the start of a sibling-like affection towards the kid. I glanced back down at my grocery list, realizing I still had no idea where everything was at, and cautiously turned back to the manager.

           “Uh hey, uhhh, I know I just made a mess a couple minutes ago, but I’m still new here, and I don’t remember where anything is at, except for this coffee here, so uhh, could you help me out here please?” I showed him my grocery list.

           “Why certainly!” he said. “The bread is right over in the next aisle to your right, the chips are aaaaall the way over on the other side of the store, the soda’s right by there, I can’t help you with whatever that is at the bottom of your list, oh, and the cheese is right down the aisle next to the meat! Asiago is on sale, and flying off the shelves fast, so grab it before it’s gone!”

           “Alright! I’ll try to remember all of that! Thanks!”

           “My pleasure!” the manager said before I made my way down the aisle to the cheese. They had a really nice cheese selection the last time I was here, and I wanted to try some of that asiago. So I took a good long look at all the cheeses when I got to them. Oh yeah, they’ve still got all kinds of cheeses… cheddar, havarti, gouda, muenster, mozzarella… oh jeez, there’s only one asiago left… hmmm, should I take it? Or should I wait until they have more of it later and let someone else have this? I squinted at the price. Jesus, this stuff is expensive, even on sale. No wonder it’s all but gone. I shifted my eyes again, trying to sort out my mental conflict. I always felt guilty for taking the last of something… but hell, I’d been here for two weeks and I’d been proving myself to be an independent adult just fine, I deserved to splurge and treat myself!

           “Aw fuck it! I’m taking this ch—AHH!” I jumped and cut myself off as another hand joined mine in reaching for the cheese. 

           “Whoa there!” a somewhat raspy male voice yelled, sounding just as surprised as mine.

           “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were trying to—” I cut myself off again, this time with a sharp gasp, as I looked up and saw just who was competing with me for the cheese. This man was tall and slender, and donned scientist attire. He was incredibly pale, with messy white hair, piercing red eyes, pink-tinted cheeks, and a few crooked, silvery whiskers protruding from around his subtly twitching nose. But what tipped me off was the small, exposed, slightly pulsating brain nestled within the white hairs on his head. I took a step back, slightly fearful.

           “Y—y-you… y-you’re… you’re d-d—Doctor Two-Brains!”

           “Yep, that’s me,” he stated proudly, shooting me a wicked smirk. He put one hand on his hip and began casually twirling what I assumed to be one of his ray guns with his other hand. “I gotta say, I wasn’t expecting any competition.”

           “Heh, neither was I,” I said, suddenly feeling flustered. “I mean, I guess I always run the risk if I’m anywhere near cheese, but I had no idea you’d be here today!” I perked up as I remembered something. “Oh, I gotta add you to my villain encounter list!”

           Two-Brains blinked in confusion. “Your what-now?”

           “My list of all the villains I’ve met so far! Most of them are pretty nice for villains, but Tobey’s got quite the attitude problem. Kid’s too young to be having a God complex.”

           Suddenly, Two-Brains bust out laughing.

           “Oh my goodness,” he wheezed. “Tobey—God compl—ahahaha!” He clutched his sides as he doubled over, shoulders shaking. “Did you hear that, henchmen?” He elbowed the bigger henchman, who simply exchanged confused looks with the smaller one. “Oh that is rich!”

           I laughed a little myself, mainly at how amused this supposedly evil scientist was at my throwaway comment. “Well, I’m glad you got a kick out of that, haha.” I could’ve sworn Two-Brains wiped a tear from his eye just then.

           “Oh man, I haven’t laughed that hard in ages. You’re quite the comedian.”

           “Haha, well thanks, I try…”

           Suddenly, as his laughter died down, our eyes locked. A sensation akin to that of a tiny electrical current coursed through me as he stared into my soul. His eyes were so mesmerizing. It’s not very often you see such a lovely ruby shade. It was hard to tear myself away from them, but soon enough I felt nervous maintaining eye contact, so my eyes discreetly wandered to other parts of his face. I noticed his smooth, pale complexion. His rosy cheeks. His fluffy hair. His nice jaw structure, not too sharp but not too baby-faced either. Then his cute, pink lips. In that moment I was worried he noticed me gawking, so I looked back into his eyes. Those beautiful eyes, framed by long lashes. I gulped as the truth sunk in.

           Oh no. He’s gorgeous.

           I was finally snapped out of my trance when Two-Brains cleared his throat. I shook my head, damn, I probably creeped him out by now.

           “So,” he began, casually leaning his arm against the shelves, “you’re new here, huh?”

           I sputtered in shock. “H-h-how did you know?!” Two-Brains chuckled at my reaction.

           “Well, for one thing, people who are from around here don’t have a ‘villain encounter list’. Also, I come to this grocery store a lot, so I know who else comes here, and you’re definitely not a familiar face. Besides, I think I would’ve noticed you before.” If I’m not mistaken, he winked at me right then. I blushed.

           “Pfft, as if.” I smiled but waved my hand in dismissal. “No one ever notices me. Not without forgetting about me immediately after.”

           Two-Brains snapped into an upright position. “You’re kidding.”

           “Nope. I was always the weird kid that got left behind…” I rubbed my arm, suddenly feeling insecure. I wasn’t anybody, yet here I was, thinking I could talk to a guy like Two-Brains. What was I doing wasting his time?

           “Gee, that’s awful.” The doctor’s voice softened.

           I shrugged. “It’s alright. I’m used to it by now.”

           “Still, it’s a shame. But let’s not talk about that!” His voice quickly returned to its regular pitch as he plucked a block of cheese from the shelves and immediately tore into it. “So what’s your name?”

           “My name? Oh, well uhh… you can just call me Light. I don’t really like going by my real name anymore.”

           “Yeah me neither,” Two-Brains deadpanned, taking another bite of his cheese. “It just isn’t who I am anymore.”

           “Exactly!” I snapped my fingers. “Like, no offense to my dad, since he picked out my name, but I needed a new identity with my fresh new start.”

           “My mom picked out my name.” Two-Brains shrugged. “Safe to say, I’m not her sweet little boy anymore.”

           “I bet,” I chuckled.

           “So why Light?” he questioned, carelessly tossing the now-empty cheese wrapper behind him and taking another block. “You got some special glowing power or something?”

           “Oh no, not at all, it’s just, the word was in my internet username, so people started calling me that and it kinda grew on me. Doesn’t really mean anything, although ‘light’ was my first word as a baby, sooo I guess that counts as something, haha.”

           “Interesting…” he pondered the thought as he munched on the cheese.

           “Hey boss,” the smaller of his henchmen interjected, “are we actually gonna steal this cheese, or…”

           “Uh, yeah, start loading it up in the cart.” He waved his hand in a “get going” motion.

           “But wasn’t the plan to threaten everyone with this big ray machine?” The henchman gestured to a very large contraption behind them. I took a step back in shock.

           “Uh, whoa.” How did I miss that big honkin’ thing?!

           “Change of plans, we’re not gonna cause a scene, we’re just gonna take the cheese and leave,” Two-Brains answered. “But fire up the ray in case Wordgirl comes around.”

           “Gee, I hate to get in the way of your, uh, cheese heist,” I awkwardly shuffled my feet. “I know you’re infatuated with the stuff.”

           “Aw, you’re not in my way,” Two-Brains cooed, “why do you think I’m changing my plans?”

           “Uhhhh, becaaauuuse… I don’t know.”

           He chuckled, leaning against the shelves again as his henchmen loaded up the cheese behind him. “You’re a little dense, aren’t you?”

           “Um, honestly, yeah, I’m really not that smart,” I sheepishly admitted, rubbing the back of my neck.

           “Hm. You guys know what I’m doing, right henchmen?” He craned his head in their direction.

           “Uhh, not exactly,” the smaller admitted. Two-Brains facepalmed.

           “Oh, you’ll all figure it out soon enough.” It seemed like the statement was directed at all of us, but he turned back to me to say it. Suddenly he was gazing at me with those eyes. My heart skipped a beat. I looked at him, then at the cheese, then the henchmen, and back to him. A crazy idea formed in my brain.

           “You know… I could buy this cheese for you.” Oh god, why did I say that?! I’m broke as hell! I can’t afford all that cheese!

           “Well aren’t you a sweetheart~” he crooned, taking a few steps closer to me. I felt my face heat up. Sweetheart? Such a word never usually struck a chord in me, but for some reason, the way he said it sent shivers down my spine. He leaned in, giving me a sweet smile, before his expression turned more malicious. “But I want to steal this cheese. Ahahahaha!” He tilted his head back and let out an evil laugh. I laughed as well, but it was more out of embarrassment.

           “Right, of course. I’m not entirely sure why I said that. Pretty soon I’ll be offering to buy Mr Big a hypnotism kit.”

           Two-Brains’ wicked cackling quickly turned into a giggle fit. Guess I tickled his funny bone again.

           “She’s at it again, boys!” he giggled. “Hypnotism—pffahaha!” He put a hand over his mouth at he attempted to stifle his laughter. I blushed. Good lord, this man was adorable. “As if he isn’t rich enough to buy all the hypnotism stuff he wants!” He shook his head as he calmed himself down. “Where did you learn to be so humorous?”

           I shrugged. “I dunno, my family? I come from a long line of goofballs.”

           He giggled again. “Well hey, the world needs more charming goofballs like you.” He made a finger gun motion with one of his hands, and I sputtered again.

           “Me?? Charming??! Haha, that’s… I think you’re the charming one around here.”

           “Well, I do what I can,” he said in a proud voice. He winked before continuing. “But I think you’re not giving yourself enough credit. You need to have some confidence in yourself!” He reached over and clasped my shoulder, making my face turn red.

           “Pfft, easier said than done, Doc.”

           His brows curved upward as he patted my shoulder. “Aw, I’m sure you’ll get it someday, sweetheart.” I let out a strangled noise that sounded like a cross between a choke and a lovestruck sigh. Dammit, there’s that word again. I’m pretty sure my entire face looked like a tomato at that point. Then I noticed he was gazing at me again. I nearly lost my breath as a realization formed in my brain.

           Wait, holy shit, is he flirting with me??! No, that’s crazy. There’s no way a guy like him would really wanna flirt with ME! Besides, he’s a villain, he probably flirts with everyone… but he’s like, being genuinely nice to me too. Could it be?

           “Heheh, you know,” I began, “you’re also pretty nice, for a villain. I mean, we just met like, five minutes ago, and you’re already treating me better than most of the people I knew for years ever did.”

           “Hey, I may be evil, but I’m not completely heartless!” My breath hitched as his arm snaked around my shoulders. “Say, could I take a look at that little villain list of yours?”

           “Oh yeah, sure! I really gotta add you to it now!” I pulled my notebook out of my pocket and handed it to him. In response, he pulled out a pen.

           “I think I’ll add myself onto here.” Two-Brains clicked the pen and began scribbling into the notebook. Then his henchmen butted in again.

           “Alright boss, the cheese is all loaded up… should we go?”

           “Bring everything to the van, boys! I’ll catch up with you two in a minute.”

           I opened my mouth to tell him how honored I felt that he was setting aside his time for little old me, but suddenly, I heard a familiar whoosh noise and an even more familiar voice.

           “The only thing you’ll be catching up to is jail, Doctor Two-Brains!”

           “Wordgirl!” Two-Brains assumed a defensive stance. He glowered as he realized she was blocking the henchmen’s path. “No surprise you’d show up eventually.”

           “Well, that big ray machine was pretty hard to miss.” Wordgirl vaguely gestured to the large contraption Two-Brains had somehow rolled into the store.

           “Impressive, isn’t it?” Two-Brains said smugly. “Just feast your eyes on what it does!”

           “Wait a minute, uhh… is she with you?” she gestured to me before he could press any buttons on the machine. I shuffled awkwardly, suddenly very aware of being in between a spunky superhero and a cute supervillain.

           “Oh, her?” he pointed his thumb at me. “This is Light, and uh, she’s only with me if she wants to be.” He threw his arm around me and winked again, a sly smirk playing at his lips. I sputtered yet again.

           “Aw, gee, I’d love to, but um, I kinda gotta keep my record clean, heheh.”

           “Shame. I’d love for you work with me.” My face reddened and I opened my mouth, but he pulled away before I could respond. “Now, back to my marvelous machine—”

           “Let me guess, it turns things into cheese?” Wordgirl crossed her arms, apparently unamused by Two-Brains’ ploy. Huggy made a noise that sounded like a groan.

           “No!... Maybe… okay, fine, yeah, it does!”

           “No surprise.” She was clearly not impressed.

           “Hey!” I butted in. “Figuring out how to turn things into cheese couldn’t have been easy for Two-Brains! Like, that’s altering entire chemical compositions here! And since he’s figured that out, I don’t really blame him for using it over and over. It’s impressive if you ask me.”

           “Thank you!” Two-Brains exhaled, throwing his arms up. “See? She gets it.”

           “Well hey, I know if I had machines that could turn stuff into cheese, I wouldn’t have any stuff left!” This statement caused Two-Brains to laugh yet again.

           “I know, I don’t have much left either, haha.”

           “Right? And honestly, I don’t blame you for stealing cheese, either.”

           “Oh boy, she’s as infatuated as he is,” Wordgirl offhandedly remarked to Huggy.

           “What can I say? It’s darn good stuff,” I said, stealing a gaze at Two-Brains. Huggy made some chirping noises, and Wordgirl craned her head towards the simian sidekick on her shoulder; he seemed to be asking her something.

           “Oh, well I’m glad you asked,” she answered cheerily. “To be infatuated with something means to be very passionate about it, and love it a lot! Like how I’m infatuated with words! Or how Doctor Two-Brains is infatuated with cheese.” She pointed towards him, and Huggy squeaked in understanding. “Or how Light there appears infatuated with Doctor Two-Brains.”

           I nearly choked.

           “Whoa whoa hold up what??! I—wha—”

           Wordgirl stiffened as she realized her mistake. “Oh my goodn— I am SO sorry! I just—”

           “What gives you that idea?? Hahahaha…” My nervous titter made it clear that I knew exactly where she got that idea from. Why did I always make things so damn obvious? I’m like an open book. I thought maybe I was doing an okay job at concealing my little crush, but even the kid was able to see right through me!

           “Well I was kinda… just trying to define ‘infatuated���, haha.” She sheepishly folded her arms behind her back, trying to make herself smaller. “Sorry about that.”

           “Well hey uh, defining words is your job, right?”

           “That and protecting the city by fighting cr—AAAHK!”

           Wordgirl shrieked as she was suddenly whacked out of her midair hover and onto the floor by a sticky, yellowish substance. Two-Brains’ wicked cackling filled the aisle.

           “Oh, did I forget to mention that my ray machine also shoots sticky nacho cheese? Bwahahahaha! Thanks for helping me escape, Light! Haha!”

           I froze as I realized that I had accidentally distracted Wordgirl long enough for Two-Brains to trap her in a nacho cheese cocoon. It must’ve been super strong cheese, too, for as much as Wordgirl struggled, she couldn’t break free, even with her superstrength.

           “Oops,” I mumbled. Two-Brains started making his way out of the store, with his henchmen rolling the ray machine away, but something made me panic.

           “Wait!” I cried, lunging forward and reaching my hand out towards him. Two-Brains simply looked over his shoulder with a quizzical expression. “I uhh… this is kinda… this is probably a longshot, with how… I mean you’re such a well-known villain so you’re probably busy a lot but… do you think we could like… I dunno… hang out some time, or something?”

           Two-Brains blinked once, as if in disbelief, before a sly smirk etched his face. “Way ahead of ya, sister.” With that, he winked, made a finger gun gesture, and waltzed away, but not before tossing something at me. I fumbled it for a moment, but I did manage to catch it somehow. I looked down, and saw it was—asiago cheese. The last of the asiago cheese. He let me have that?? I stared in front of myself in silence for a second or ten, trying to figure out if that entire interaction really happened. But I was cut from my thoughts when I realized Wordgirl and Captain Huggyface were still struggling to break free from the cocoon that was partially my fault they got into in the first place.

           “Oh. My. God. I am. SO. Sorry!” I panicked. “I swear, I did NOT mean to do that!”

           “It’s alright, nothing I haven’t been though before,” Wordgirl said. “Besides, this one is kind of on me.” Suddenly, with a grunt and a burst of strength, she burst free from her cocoon of cheese. “Ah, that’s better. Now off to find Doctor Two-Brains. I’m not about to let him get away from me again!”

           “Yeah, sorry again about accidentally aiding him… also, this is gonna sound crazy, but you remind me of someone.”

           “Oh?” Wordgirl raised an eyebrow. “Well, people have said I look like a young Dana Hill.” I laughed a little.

           “That could be it. But I feel like I know you from somewhere outside of superheroism… it’s probably just my brain being weird on me again though, haha.”

           “Probably. Also, it’s great that you and Two-Brains are getting along, but he is a supervillain, so just… be careful around him, okay?”

           “I gotcha, kiddo. He seemed really nice to me, but if he ever tries to pull something, I know who to call.” I gave Wordgirl a finger gun motion. “Anyway, I better let you get back to your business.”

           “Thanks. Now come on Huggy, let’s go get Doctor Two-Brains! Word up!” And with that, she sped away. It was then I remember the last thing Two-Brains said before he left. Way ahead of ya, sister… what exactly did he mean by that? I picked up my little notebook that had fallen onto the floor and flipped to my villain encounter list. When I looked by his name, I almost dropped the thing in shock. Not only was there a nice little signature, but written beside it was a seven-digit number, with the words “call me” and a wink face. Holy shit.

           “He gave me his number…” I whispered in shock. As it sank in, a grin slowly crept onto my face until I’m pretty sure it was ear-to-ear. “I GOT HIS NUMBER!!!”

           “Nice!” a random person from somewhere inside the store shouted.

           “Thanks!” I shouted back. I just could not believe it! Man, I really came in this store for groceries and ended up with a cute mad scientist’s phone number and Cupid’s arrow impaling my chest, huh?

           How cheesy.

[jeidafei]

D.Gray-Man Chapter 231 Translation Notes

Hi DGMers! jeidafei from Kougeki Scans here. I’m a total newbie to scanlation and I’ve never made my own note before. However, I’ve read all THREE versions of the DGM translation for reference, (This just goes to show this fandom’s undying love for the subject matter) and noticed some discrepancies between scan groups...

Not to say who is wrong or right, as translators are also humans (unless AI got over its Google Translate phase and take over our jobs someday!) with different experiences and backgrounds, and as such there is no such thing as right or wrong in a translation. 

So, in addition to my translation, I would also like to give readers the opportunity to interpret things freely without the language barrier as well, and maybe share some of my knowledge regarding Japan and the Japanese language accumulated from over a decade of learning Japanese (mostly through D.Gray-Man and Ghibli animes XD) and around three years of living, studying and working full-time in Japan.

1. “生々流転” (seiseiruten or shoujouruten)

The cover art is mind-blowingly beautiful this time. So much so that I’ve been secretly wondering whether Hoshino-sensei spent even more time on the cover than the actual content itself and that’s why we have 20 instead of, like, 40 pages.

Anyway, it also gives us this little conundrum...

@panthaleia has already done a marvelous analysis here and you should check it out! so I won’t be going into details much; I would just like to give you a definition and leave it to your imagination. I admit I’m pretty much stumped by this as it isn’t clear what exactly Hoshino-sensei is referring to by this concept.

Japanese culture and language takes heavy influence from Chinese since ancient times, and there are plenty of these four-letter Chinese idioms in daily use, called 四字熟語 (Yojijukugo), some of which can be challenging for non-native learnersーand even the Japanese themselvesーto fully grasp its concept, considering the wealth of yojijukugo-themed dictionaries and games published in Japan. 

The Japanese definition of 生々流転 goes as follows:

すべての物は絶えず生まれては変化し、移り変わっていくこと。▽「生生」は物が次々と生まれ育つこと。「流転」は物事が止まることなく移り変わっていく意。「生生」は「しょうじょう」とも読む。 (source)

A compilative translation of the above and other versions in the source would be nothing is unchanging; all existence is born, constantly changes (and dies) in a cycle that repeats itself endlessly. The emphasis seems to be put on the term of “constant change” and the “neverending cycle” of all existence, rather than the birth and death of living beings, however, and thus I believe my own and Mangastream’s translation of it as “Circle of Life” may not be comprehensive of what Hoshino-sensei is trying to convey. 

In my opinion, it could either be interpreted literally to mean the cycle and flow of energy and soul-force that Past!Allen had mentioned to Nea all those years ago, or considering the plot of the current chapter it can also refer to the story coming full circle and returning to the point of its birth, by taking Allen back to Eddystone...Edinston...Edinburgh...Edinsーargh dammit I give upーwhere his story began with his meeting with Mana Walker.

Speaking of which...

2. The Town Where Allen Began

Mangastream called it Eddingston. Starbuds called it Edinston. The D.Gray Wikia adopted Edinstown and that’s what I decided to go with for now. 

However, the actual Japanese text is  エディンスト���, phonetically E-din-su-ton. Thus, the most phonetically accurate would probably be Starbuds’ Edinston. Edinstown can be transliterated back into Japanese as エディンスタウン, whereas Eddingston would probably be エッディングストン to the Japanese folk (I’ve highlighted the difference in spelling).

There you go! Now y’all can call it whichever way you want! 

3. Why is Allen so alarmed?

Right after Mana said that he draws all those little “I am here”s like a street graffiti punk so God would be able to find him, Allen looked as if he had recalled something significant. Seeing as Allen is about to tell the tale of his beginnings, this would probably be clarified in the next chapter. However, in my opinion, Mana saying “so he would be able to find me” is reminiscent of this sentence back in Reverse: Lost Fragment of Snow:

Back when he still remembers Nea and his purpose of searching for him, Mana was taking every measure to make sure Nea recognizes him, as he now looks different from his 17-year-old self. Sure, Mana might actually be referring to God this time as he said it; we’d never know until the next chapter at the least, but the memory of Mana’s words back at the circus must have been what shook Allen to the core.

4.  はじまり 

The term はじまり (hajimari) or “the beginning” seems to be the central theme in this chapter; appearing on the cover page, the first page and the last page of last chapter, emphasizing the fact that both Allen and the plot has now come full circle and returned to where “Allen” began. 

This cliffhanger freaks me out though, as I couldn’t see how Hoshino-sensei could tell Allen’s story without repeating Reverse: Lost Fragment of Snow, as that is stated to be the story of how Allen came to be:

Anyway, my fear and frustration of waiting-six-months-for-new-developments aside, hajimari is a very popular to the point of cliched concept in Japan, in my opinion. If you go to karaoke in Japan and type in hajimari in the machine, it would come up with a SH*T TON of songs containing hajimari in the song name, with hajimari no uta (The song of beginnings) and hajimari no basho (The place where it all began, which is also mentioned in this chapter) being some of the most repetitive. 

As much as the cherry blossoms are a symbol of Japanese culture, the Japanese people themselves regard the month when the cherry blossoms bloom, April, and the season of Spring, as the marker of new beginnings, of significant turning points in life. The start of school term, start of fiscal year, start of working life and end of childhood, Your Lie in April , etc. all happen in April. 

This phenomenon is especially remarkable in Japan. Being the country of uniformity, virtually every school and workplace throughout the country would start their activities in April. 

In my experience, Japanese aesthetics revolve around the changing seasons and times a lot, and countless pop songs that are released around March-April would sing of the blooming cherry blossoms swaying to the wind and new beginnings for students graduating from high school or university. In the same manner, songs coming out in Winter would feature slower melodies and the distinctive, ringing, Christmas-ey chime from the likes of music boxes, glockenspiels, triangles or celestas, and songs released in Summer would usually be quicker, livelier with lyrics retelling a fun trip to the beach, firework shows and sunshine (－and bikinis, if you’re listening to AKB48!).

To someone who came from a tropical country with three pretty much indistinguishable, unpleasant seasons (Damn-you-Summer, Damn-you-Summer-with-Rain-and-Floods and Damn-you-Summer-with-Three-Days-of-Winter), the beauty of the Japanese seasons and how the Japanese culture and lifestyle intertwine so closely with it has always fascinated and charmed me.

5. The Gratitude Dilemma

In addition to the seiseiruten conundrum, this chapter also throws up some more challenges for translators. One notable example for me being how to accurately capture the essence of this panel:

Both Starbuds and Mangastream worded this bubble very differently, and I won’t say who is the most accurate, but I will explain my choice of wording the best I can (with a few tips to weary Japanese learners along the way, hopefully). The actual Japanese raw is below:

My atrocious highlighting skills aside, we can clearly see the emphasis given to the suffix てあげよう (te-ageyou) here. 

Allen didn’t say it straight out that he’s pitying Kanda or the like, but he’s using the te-ageru form, which means “ [doing something] for your sake” . 

The concept of gratitude is important in a strict, seniority-based society like Japan, and accordingly there are two verb suffixes just to show gratitude: when someone else does a favor for us: te-kureru, and when we receive a favor from someone else: te-morau. 

Yes, there’s a difference. And this is one of the most troublesome head-scratchers and trick-question-subjects for intermediate learners of Japanese taking the JLPT test (and translators of Japanese songs and manga as well), as to make things worse the Japanese usually omits the subject and/or object of the sentence. 

My tip for making sense of this is for te-kureru, the other person must be the subject of the sentence, whereas for te-morau, I/me must be the subject.

Starting to see now why so many of my classmates gave up on Japanese and why so many anime subs/manga translations are sometimes inaccurate? 

We also get another instance here:

(watashi ha kami ni) mitsukete-moraeru you ni would literally mean something along the lines of so (I) could be found by (God) for my sake. I put parentheses here to show you how both the subject and object of this sentence is omitted, and why we must be extremely careful in cases when it is less clear than this who is doing what for whom. To learners, you MUST pay attention to the conjunctions. 

For the sake of convenience and more natural speech I just used so God would be able to find me. 

Back to Black Allen, te-ageru or its more casual/demeaning form te-yaru, on the other hand, is used for when we’re doing a favor for someone’s sake and should be used sparingly/carefully to people of the same status or lower, as it could sound patronizing depending on context. So Allen using it to Kanda is meant to be very cheeky and infuriating, as if he’s trying to emphasize that his giving up is more out of pity/sympathy for Kanda’s hapless persistence than his own being tired of or incapable of escaping.

Because in reality it is just as he personally admitted in the earlier page: he’s got no money and cannot elude the Order without Kanda’s help, and decided to just twiddle his thumbs and wait around for now. 

But food and a man’s pride are everything to Allen...

That’s all for now. I hope you enjoyed our translations. See you in three months, fellow DGMers! 

[atemusluckygal-fanfiction]

Hi! Do you have tips for a wannabe writer who isn't sure how to create an ambiance for their story? How do you write descriptions in order to set the story into a context and to catch the reader's curiosity?

Hi anon! That’s a really good question! I’ll try to answer as best I can, though it’s something I’m still trying to improve on myself. As you can see from my terribly long post below XD

“Describing the room” can be tricky because it’s so easy to underdo or overdo it. It’s tempting to spend far too long describing details of the atmosphere rather than moving the story along, and that will lose the reader’s attention and curiosity. Then again, it’s also tempting to hurry to the “interesting” stuff without giving your readers enough relatable information to immerse themselves in, and they feel more like an outside eavesdropper rather than standing right there in the middle of your world.

I think the trick is finding that balance–executing a concise, economical use of language. Decide what’s necessary to specify, and what you can imply with context. The desire for clarity is both your friend and enemy on this: you don’t want to be confusing or vague, but adding more detail just for elucidation just takes up more space, and can sound amateurish. It takes practice, and sometimes second opinions, but you can say a lot with a few words. If you choose the right words, you can count on your readers to use their imagination and fill in the blanks. Using similes and metaphors help with this a lot, as it gives them a basis of comparison.

EXAMPLE: If you’re describing a hotel lobby, since most people have been in a hotel lobby, they have a general idea of what would be in one. All that’s left to do is describe the unique nature of the one you’ve got, if it serves some purpose for the story or atmosphere. To be totally minimalist here, if you only included the polished marble floors and the faint waft of sophisticated perfume, the readers can infer that it’s a more upscale hotel, which typically includes large open layouts, bright colors, nice furniture, a fancy chandelier, etc. You can also add something about the “air” to it, i.e. how it vibes, something readers can grasp onto. An upscale hotel is primarily patronized by wealthy guests, and their behavior tends to produce a few specific moods and vibes: luxurious getaway, celebration, snobbery/entitlement, “important” people in a hurry, etc. The specific implications are up to you, and it would be extra points to tie them into a theme in your story (ex: a character, whose idea of true happiness is fame and fortune, and has a hard time stopping to smell the roses, watches a stressed, well-known movie star argue about something petty on the phone and rush out with her suitcase to catch her ride). It adds purpose to your descriptions, and depth to the story itself. And it’s much more interesting than writing several paragraphs to essentially say “this hotel is fancy”. On the other extreme, it’s also better than only describing it with a word like “fancy”.

Sensory detail is another useful tool. People associate memories closest with their senses. Sights and sounds are great to start, but tastes/smells/touch can be just as relatable, and sometimes it’s the first thing the perspective character notices. Like the above example, the smell of expensive perfume can say a lot about what’s going on with only a few words.

Also, only some details of the ambiance are even relevant to the story, so you have to make artistic choices on what to include. Specific details, most of the time, are there to have either immediate or eventual significance to the plot or characters. The latter is a trope in media called Chekhov’s Gun (you can read about it here). It’s an important one to keep in mind, and a great tool if you use it well; an innocuous detail that escapes the reader’s attention until it shows up later as an actual thing?? What a cool surprise twist! You know what masters the shit out of this trope? The show “Game of Thrones”.

For the descriptive details that make the final cut, it’s important to remember that it’s not you, or your readers, who are perceiving their atmosphere, it’s the perspective character. As you paint the picture, you have to be in your character’s shoes and vicariously absorb that very picture through them. Sensory details and moods affect each person differently. I personally cannot stand the smell of Fireball whiskey, but if my character is neutral about it, then she can at least be in the room with it and hardly notice. If she’s an alcoholic and that’s her favorite, then Fireball smells like delicious, enticing, spicy seduction.

Last thing I will say: Too many direct descriptions in a row that are like “the house was spacious and tidy” or “the walls were a faded red color”–in other words, description without action or reaction–start to sound more like a conversation between author and reader, while the story becomes stagnant and your character is just standing there doing nothing. Give them stuff to do, involve them. Shoot a chill down their spine at the odd placement of a doll on the desk across the room. Make them sneeze from all the dust or pollen. The broken fence reminded them of a childhood memory. Make them enjoy the air conditioning on a hot day. A nearby couple on an awkward first date makes them miss their ex-lover. Instead of “the house was spacious and tidy”, maybe instead say something like “Jason was hesitant to step into the spacious, tidy house with his dirty sneakers and the stench of inner-city poverty clinging to his skin and hair”.

All this to say, how much or little description to use for anything, and how much time you spend setting up your atmosphere, is subjective to taste and purpose. The more you practice and experiment, the more you’ll find your compositional voice and preferences, and what works and what doesn’t. This is just my own view of it, and anyone is welcome to argue or disagree. I don’t have any formal training, so don’t assume that anything I say would stand up to academic scrutiny. XD

Though this post itself is probably the worst example of the points I was trying to make, I hope you got something useful out of it. Thanks for asking!

xo ALG

[rontra]

Hey Rontra. Sorry is this is too personal, but I was recently diagnosed with autism (high functioning) and even though it didn't tell me anything new per se, I've been trying to wrap my mind around it. Do you have any tips for getting through the transition period?

Hi there friend!Omg yeah getting th diagnosis can be super weird even if it’s not necessarily new information, I totally get what you mean lmao

Even tho it’s personal I don’t rly mind talking about it at all; just remember that this is a suuuuper individual experience and you might not relate to my thoughts on it at all–and that’s okay! I’m happy that you decided to ask for advice, but if mine doesn’t apply to you, that’s okay–and I’m sure there’s other posts out there that can add to this you might relate to more (but I’m on mobile so sadly can’t help much there djfhshs sorry). This kind of advice is hard because everyone’s so different xD ahhhhSpoilers: my tips are very mushy and sentimental ;9

But this DID get long so I’m gonna cut the post fbdbdhdhhs I’m very chatty ;v;

So for context’s sake: I was also diagnosed with autism relatively recently–at 20 years old (am 21 now). While I don’t know how old you are, I’ll assume that you’re an adult or close to it as well–which to me made the diagnosis feel really weird and time-displaced! Like I wasn’t “supposed” to be diagnosed so late, bc it’s “supposed” to be noticed in childhood and thus I’m somehow not “allowed” to relate with other autistic people (obviously, that’s not a correct line of thinking). I felt like, even though it totally makes sense and it’s def the appropriate diagnosis for me, it was weird–definitely difficult to sort of keep up and get my head around it. Everything in hindsight of my life makes 100% sense through this lens, and yet, it felt surreal. Not WRONG; but it was complex.

I think a lot of that stemmed from those two decades of suppressing the traits associated with my autism; things like downplaying or ignoring hypo- and hypersensitive sensory experiences, actively suppressing stims, and expending 90% of my day-to-day energy on just trying to slip “under the radar” in social interaction(let alone do well at it, God forbid). It wasn’t something I did out of conscious self loathing or anything like that; I actually assumed everyone grew up this way, and the world was just supposed to be a fuckin incomprehensible mess of unpleasant sounds and obscure subliminal social cues that people drop just for fun and sometimes things just swirl together into a big mess and you can’t focus and you can’t talk and this is just how the world IS. That we all grow up feeling like aliens and we’re all just pretending. That specific feeling wore off as I grew older and more prone to feeling directly isolated (so now IM the only alien), but the idea that “the world just Is Like This” stuck. It was HUGE to me when I realized that neurotypical people don’t usually relate to that mess. And, more importantly, that all this time-and-energy-consuming self-discipline was suddenly unnecessary, because those things had a reason and they had a meaning and they were mine. That’s weird. It’s good but it’s weird. To take in that those things have patterns and explanations and other people feel them too is overwhelming and beautiful and weird.

It’s weird as hell to feel like some kind of spy in a foreign country trying to blend in with a culture you don’t understand for 20 years, or some kinda alien, an animal in a cage doing tricks for a faceless crowd, only to have that moment where–it’s OKAY and things MAKE SENSE. It’s mine and it’s good and i don’t have to work so hard to be “like them” because I’m not. I can’t be.

I can’t be! Even when people call me (and you) things like ���high functioning” it’s measuring my ability to be “like them”–which is something I can’t be. It’s measuring how I function compared to a neurotypical person, and it feels moot, because I’m NOT. It’s a measure of how good I am at pretending to be neurotypical. And guess what: after 20 years, I’m pretty damn good at it! :p

It makes sense, but it’s scary. Because I can finally get to know me, the autistic person–the person I’ve been subconsciously smothering for 20 years. That’s scary, and exciting, and comforting, all at once.

So after all that rambling, here’s one tip: lean into that. Hard. Indulge in something that makes you go “wow, this is pretty autistic” (whatever that might entail for YOU; I get really into obnoxiously elaborate organization systems for my hobby supplies, as one example) and just…let yourself enjoy it. Try a bunch of stim toys if you haven’t had the chance. Find a friend who has an hour or five to spare and tell them about your special interest, if you have one. Explore how you feel when you’re treating yourself to this kind of thing. Feel it all the way through. Take your time to get to know it.

I didn’t really go out and do research and look up more than I already knew–I focused way more on what I was feeling and how this new set of facts interwove with that, that it all made sense and for the first time I was in control of that and could indulge it consciously in a very pleasant way. I am more at peace than I have been in a long time because I’m expending less energy suppressing myself, while simultaneously spending more time being gentle to myself and indulging those autistic traits to bring an overall soothing. I think reviewing your own history and figuring out what makes your autism tick is super helpful in making you comfortable with it–finding what things appeal to you and utilizing those tools fully with the “armor” of your diagnosis. Before, I was often worried because “other people don’t do this” or “doing that is weird”–now, I do these things (stimming, accommodating for my sensory needs, etc) without feeling as bashful about it, because I know now that this is part of my experience with autism. I have that word, I have this diagnosis, and I can use that as my shield against those 20 years of pressure and shame. And if someone thinks my stim or my avoidance of certain touch IS weird–well, that’s their problem, lmfao. I spent 20 years suffering; I’m going to take full advantage of this new flourishing beauty.

To me, this experience isn’t about learning something new (as you said; it’s not new information)–but leaning into it and embracing what was there from the start. If you’re like me and have spent most of your life suppressing these things, indulging them may help you transition through the “whoa” into the “this is good” :p leaning into it HARD was def one of the best things I did hahahaha

another thing I did a lot was just reflection–I’ve spent a lot of time going over my own behaviors, reflecting on the past through this new lens, that kind of thing. I’ve been exploring my own mindset and how my brain works all over again, and connecting the dots to my diagnosis like some huge constellation chart, and it’s one of the most soothing things I’ve ever done. Maybe it’s because I’m big on organization :p Just kind of training myself to apply this new sexy word to it was important to me. To be able to say “oh, I do this thing because autism” or “hey I’m autistic too” and use these terms in a real way helped make the diagnosis and how it applies to me “real” to me as well.

People (neurotypical people, that is) talk to me about “acceptance” and “coming to terms with” and such–and they’re saying the right words but they don’t mean the right thing. They say it like I feel bad about autism. They’re saying it like autism is bad. It’s not. This wasn’t a difficult diagnosis to get–its not really one i struggled to cope with receiving. But they’re right that it is about acceptance, and it is about coming to terms–it’s just a far gentler thing with a different emotional starting point. I was learning from scratch how to take care of myself, with a whole new box of tools and terms to help me; it was flourishing, it was thriving. It was not a scary new disease or some threatening Autism $peaks rhetoric; it was merely understanding, and accepting, and giving myself positive things I’ve been keeping away for too many years.

Step 1 to managing my difficulties is understanding them. Step 2 is being kind.

Upon receiving this diagnosis, things may simply seem to make a lot of sense. Maybe you don’t really feel like it’s a “big deal” the way people around you seem to. It might just be that perfect moment when a puzzle piece clicks into place and it was always meant to be there. That dissonance between other people’s behavior and how you feel might be confusing too (I had this!).

Now, you probably understand things in a new light. It’s a good thing to become closer with yourself. Be nice to yourself and explore your experience of the world with a new light–you don’t necessarily have to do anything huge with that new info, but acknowledging it and naming its root and learning to use it to be kind to yourself in the future is cool. Don’t pretend like it isn’t there; name it, in your head, when you notice a trait in yourself that stems from it. Let yourself know what those things are and what they come from, and make adjustments where necessary to accommodate them. Be kind to yourself and don’t worry.

It’s good. You are good. You have always been good. Thank you.