#It's that stupid burger ad xD

[cookie-the-bear]

HII tumbler ppl, here is a wip cuz why not.

[lucielanciel]

Employee of the Month (Burger Bat's Fanfic) (Yandere AU)

TW!! Rusted Scalpel (xD) , Toxic Mindset, Power Imbalance, Unhealthy Relationship, Mention of Blood

Chapter 2

Masterlist (Artworks + Google Docs)

Masterlist (On Tumblr)

“I'm quitting.”

Johnny harshly barged into his office, He gripped the stupid hat in his hand, the one he was forced to wear as part of the uniform and slammed it down onto the desk with enough force to rattle the pen holder.

He looked at Angel with pure disgust at his face, he was more than ready to quit.

Angel barely reacted. He looked up from his computer, calm as ever, that stupid, smug smile plastered across his face as if Johnny’s fury didn’t faze him at all.

“I'll give you a raise.”

“What?” He looked perplexed, he expected to be yelled at, ridiculed- or even laughed at by Angel. But— no, the other man seemed calm and even smiled.

Angel leaned back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other as if they were having a casual chat. He tucked his knuckles under his chin, as his elbow rested on the desk. He continued to speak calmly. “You're a important member in the team, Johnny.”

“I would be a fool to let you go.” Angel’s smile widened, his tone almost patronizing.

Johnny narrowed his eyes. The words sounded rehearsed, almost too smooth. He didn’t trust them—didn’t trust him

“Sales have been high since you got hired.” He added, his voice calm, almost disarming

Johnny felt he was lying. He didn't even know if he made a difference. Heck, there were barely any increase of sales that came up to the restaurant, let alone any improvement.

He felt a pit forming in his stomach. “I don’t believe that,” he said bluntly. It didn’t add up—how could sales be high when they barely had any customers?

“Why do you think I made you employee of the month, for the past consecutives months?” Angel chuckled softly, the sound grating against Johnny’s nerves.

The adult didn't know what to say. It couldn't hurt to stay, considering the increase of his pay. It was rare, if not a sight to behold, to have Angel, actually listening to his employees and having an increase of wages.

The logic didn’t track, but Angel spoke with such confidence that doubt began to creep into his mind. Could it really be true? Did he actually matter to the store?

The idea of staying grated against him, but… a raise? It wasn’t everyday Angel offered something so generous. Maybe—just maybe—it would be worth staying a little longer.

“Fine,” Johnny said begrudgingly. “I’ll stay.”

Angel’s expression softened, almost triumphant. “Good.” He leaned forward, his voice dropping to a quieter, almost intimate tone. “It would be a shame to lose such a valuable person.”

The dark-haired man turned and left the office, his earlier confidence slowly ebbing away. Angel’s words replayed in his mind, over and over again, leaving an unease he couldn’t quite shake.

His confidence, his defiance—everything had melted away in an instant.

All because of a few simple words.

A few shifts passed by, after the discussion he had with Angel. But around that time, he started to see less and less of his other coworkers. He wasn't sure if the others were avoiding him or that they quit but it felt—isolating.

He was fortunate that during this time, Nat called in sick so Johnny had to fill in his morning shift. This gave him a small opportunity to talk with the others, he didn't want to admit it but he missed the noisy chatter from his colleagues.

Johnny sighed, flipping the burger patty on the grill with a practiced motion. Blair stood a few feet away, slicing lettuce with quick, efficient movements.

“So,” Johnny started, glancing over his shoulder. “Big plans after your shift?”

“O-oh” Blair looked surprised, they didn't expect for the other male to start a conversation. They softly brushed a strand of hair from their face. “Nothing exciting. Maybe a movie night at home. You?”

Johnny tried to joke. “Probably the same. If I don’t pass out first.”

Blair didn't get the joke immediately and looked a bit anxious. “Oh- Please don't overwork yourself then…”

The conversation felt awkward, he noticed how Blair seemed wary about him. Was it because of his style? Last time, he checked, it wasn't an issue— but the small talk helped ease some of the tension Johnny had felt lately. It was nice, this casual banter—normal, even.

But it didn’t last long.

The sound of a door swinging open interrupted them. Johnny glanced up just in time to see Angel stride into the room. His usual carefree demeanor seemed too forced, his smile a little too tight as his gaze zeroed in on them.

“Blair,” Angel said, his voice light but carrying a strict tone. “Could you check the stockroom? I think we’re low on napkins.”

Blair hesitated, glancing at Johnny before nodding. “Sure, boss.”

As they left, Johnny returned to the grill, focusing on the sizzling meat. But he could feel Angel’s presence lingering,his gaze pressing against his back.

“You seem close with Blair,” Angel said casually, stepping closer. Too close.

Johnny shrugged, keeping his eyes on the food. “Their cool. We were just talking.”

“Talking,” Angel echoed, his tone unreadable. He leaned against the counter, his eyes fixed on Johnny now. “Funny, I don’t remember hiring you to socialize.”

Johnny frowned, finally looking up. “What’s your problem?”

His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “No problem. Just making sure you’re focused on the job.”

“I am,” Johnny replied sarcastically, flipping the patty onto a bun with more force than necessary.

“Good,” Angel said smoothly, stepping even closer. “Because I’d hate to think you were distracted. It’d be a shame to lose someone as… important as you.”

The words were harmless enough, but the way Angel said them sent a shiver down Johnny’s spine. He turned back to the grill, hoping to end the conversation, but Angel didn’t move.

“By the way,” Angel added, his voice softer now, almost teasing, “you’re on night shift again when Nat comes back. Just us. Like always.”

Johnny bit his lip, his grip on the spatula firm. He didn’t reply, and Angel’s low chuckle was the only sound that followed.

•

•

•

On his next shift, the grill hissed as Johnny flipped another patty, the scent of sizzling beef and grease thick in the air. He barely had time to wipe the sweat off his brow before another employee elbowed him lightly, a smirk on her face.

"Hey, Johnny, you good? You’re zoning out again," Rigby teased, leaning against the counter.

Johnny huffed, shaking his head as he adjusted his grip on the spatula. "Just tired, man. Feels like I haven’t seen you guys in forever."

"That’s ‘cause you haven’t," Rigby snorted. "Angel’s been hogging you. Feels like you two are attached at the hip or something."

Johnny frowned, his gut twisting at the truth behind those words. Before he could respond, Blair approached with a tray in hand, balancing an order of fries and drinks.

"You guys keep talking, and I’m making you do my closing duties," they warned, though the usual sharpness in their tone was softer than before.

Johnny grinned. "You wound me, Blair."

"You’ll live" They shot back, as if finally understanding the joke, but their was a ghost of a smile tugging at their lips.

For the first time in weeks, things almost felt normal—until a presence loomed behind him.

The shift in the air was immediate. The laughter, the casual ease of conversation, it all withered the second their manager stepped into the kitchen.

Johnny didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. He could feel the intensity of Angel’s stare digging into his back.

"Johnny," Angel called, his voice smooth but laced with something that made the hairs on Johnny’s arms stand on end.

He forced himself to stay casual, finishing the burger before finally glancing over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

Angel smiled—too wide, too controlled. "A word?"

Blair and Rigby exchanged looks but said nothing. Johnny exhaled sharply, setting down the spatula before following Angel out the back door, the cold air hitting him instantly.

The moment they were alone, Angel leaned in, close enough that Johnny could smell his cologne over the lingering scent of grease.

"You’ve been distracted," Angel murmured. His fingers brushed against Johnny’s wrist, just for a second, fleeting but deliberate. "I don’t like that."

Johnny gritted his teeth and muttered, I’m just talking, man.”

Before he could react, Angel stepped in, pushing him back until he had no choice but to sink into the chair.

"What did I say about talking?"

His voice was smooth, almost teasing, but there was something wrong beneath it. His head tilted, glasses shifting just enough to momentarily hide his eyes before they settled back on Johnny.

Johnny tensed, fingers gripping the armrest, he tensed when Angel moved closer. He placed his hands on the armrests,and leaned forward just enough to steal the space between them. One of his knees brushed against Johnny’s thighs, caging him in.

"I'm not paying you to talk to other people."

The words settled in Johnny’s chest, heavier than they should have.

He could have made a snarky remark, something about how Angel barely paid him enough in the first place. On another night, he would have. But now? It didn’t feel right. This wasn’t their usual back-and-forth, it wasn't some half-serious bickering between coworkers. The tension was different—too thick, too charged with something Johnny didn’t want to name.

Angel sighed, shaking his head like Johnny had just said something stupid.

He stiffened when Angel reached up, fixing the slightly crooked bat-shaped hat on his head, fingers lingering at the brim. His braces flashed when he smiled, but it was tight—strained at the edges, like he was barely keeping something together.

"Don’t forget that," Angel whispered, the words dangerously close to a warning.

Johnny swallowed hard. His usual comebacks sat heavy on his tongue, unsaid.

He didn’t want to mess with this. Not tonight.

•

•

Ever since that incident, the other employees have been silent or avoiding him more than before. Sure, he'd receive occasional small talks from Blair or hearing Rigby, cracking a few jokes but it's been getting less and less now. Even more so, he'd been reverted back to his usual schedule.

The other two, were mainly placed on opening or on the middle shift, but Johnny, he was always scheduled at the same time as when Angel clocked in to work.

Johnny glanced at the empty prep stations and swallowed hard. But the truth was glaringly obvious now: the others weren’t here anymore. Not Blair, not Rigby—just him and Angel. Always Angel.

“Johnny, are you listening to me?”

The voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he whipped his head back, catching a glimpse of pale fingers curling over the fabric of his bat-winged uniform. Angel stood behind him, blue-dyed hair slightly tousled, glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose. He was smiling. That same stupid, lazy smile that never quite reached his eyes.

Angel was standing too close, his hand resting casually on Johnny’s shoulder. The touch was light, but it made his skin crawl

"You weren't thinking of sleeping on the job, were you?" Angel’s fingers lingered for a second too long before finally pulling away.

Johnny grimaced. "No, I was just—"

"Or—” Angel interrupted, titling his head. “Have another employee in mind?”

“I noticed you were getting close with the others.”

“Why are you jealous?” Johnny raised an eyebrow, giving Angel a skeptical glance.

Angel didn't reply immediately, as if that struck a nerve. He kept quiet for a moment, before opening his mouth.

“Remember your boundaries. Team cooperation is one thing, but crossing certain lines could be... problematic.”

Johnny let out a small, amused chuckle, pushing himself off the stove. “So, you are jealous, then. Just admit it already.”

Angel’s lips curved into a tight, slightly mocking smile. “Jealous? I prefer to think of it as... interest in maintaining the proper dynamic. But I’ll leave that up to you.” His tone was cool, but there was a flicker of something more in his eyes.

Johnny rolled his eyes, mockingly mimicking his professional tone. “Well, if you're that concerned, I’ll be sure to keep things in check. Wouldn’t want to step on your toes, right?”

Angel didn’t respond at first, his gaze flickering somewhere past Johnny, contemplative. After a moment, he gave a small shrug, as if letting it go or trying too.

“Don't get too close or else you might burn too.” His voice dropped a bit lower, just enough for Johnny to catch the underlying meaning.

His hand landed lightly on Johnny’s wrist, giving it a small, almost absentminded squeeze.

Johnny stared at Angel for a second, the air between them thick with unspoken tension.

A sharp sizzle snapped Johnny out of it.

He jerked his arm back, cursing as the hot edge of the grill nearly grazed his skin. “What the hell is wrong with you?! I almost got burnt!”

Angel hummed. "Well… almost."

Johnny huffed, shaking off the lingering tension in his muscles. This wasn't playful banter anymore "Y’know, it would be nice to be scheduled in the morning for once.”

"Why? Nighttime is more convenient for you and I," Angel said, leaning casually against the counter as he adjusted the papers in front of him.

Johnny smirked, glancing over his shoulder at the quiet office. "For you, at least."

“I loathe you, Johnny,” Angel responded quickly, his voice smooth but with an edge of something darker, though his lips twitched into the faintest smile. "What makes you think I’m doing this on purpose?"

Angel arched an eyebrow, a hint of amusement flickering in his eyes. “Our schedules are always matching. It’s just a coincidence.”

Johnny raised a brow, glancing at his burnt wrist. “You make the schedule.”

Angel didn’t respond at first. He simply smiled, a small but knowing curve of his lips that left Johnny with the sense that there was something more to it.

The two of them always seemed to be paired together at the oddest hours, their shifts overlapping more than anyone else’s, always working side by side. No matter how Johnny tried to ignore it, the fact remained—Angel had orchestrated it. He had planned their schedules this way, always making sure they worked the same shifts. Johnny tried getting used to it, but he couldn't and today, the feeling was heavier than normal.

Johnny should have walked away.

When he knew something was wrong.

How he always seemed to be the only one working late. How Angel's eyes lingered on him—not in the way a boss should look at an employee, but something else. Something that made the hairs on Johnny’s neck stand up.

And yet, all it took was a few words, a raise, and Johnny stayed.

Maybe that was his mistake.

.

•

•

•

“I can't do this anymore!” Something was going on, and Johnny wasn’t sure if he was ready to figure it out

Johnny’s frustration boiled over, the words leaving his mouth without thinking. As he barged onto Angel’s office. It was only the two of them again.

Angel looked up, an eyebrow arched. “What do you mean?”

“You’re— you’re creeping me out, Angel.” Johnny’s voice faltered as he tried to hold on to his composure.Johnny missed the old Angel. The Angel where he used to laugh at his dumb jokes, the Angel where he was constantly frustrated at the littlest things where it was actually adorable or funny to watch.

Not this— Angel.

Angel’s laugh cut through the tension, almost mocking, but it wasn’t the same carefree chuckle Johnny remembered. It sounded hollow, distant. “That’s funny, Johnny.” He shrugged nonchalantly, as if this was all some sort of joke. “Besides, have you really thought about your situation?”

Johnny’s pulse quickened. “I’m being serious, Angel.”

Angel leaned in, a sly grin creeping across his face. “Fine. I’ll act as proper manager then.” His eyes glinted, a sharpness that Johnny couldn’t quite read.

A knot tightened in Johnny’s stomach as Angel’s words lingered in the air. “Why won’t you stay? It’ll be just like the good ol’ times.” Angel stepped closer, closing the distance between them until his arms wrapped around Johnny’s shoulder.

He stared at him, unblinking, straight into his eyes, almost daring him to look away.

“No. One. Will. Hire. You,” Angel spat, the words dripping with disdain. “You’re stuck here with me

Johnny’s heart raced.

“No other place would even think of hiring you,” Angel added with venom.

“You’re an ex-convict, Johnny.”

Johnny’s fist shot out before he could stop himself. It landed against Angel’s face with a sickening thud. Angel stumbled back, his body leaning against the desk for support. Johnny’s breath hitched, his hand trembling from the punch, but he didn’t move.

Angel didn’t react the way Johnny expected. Instead, he smiled— that same, unsettling smile.

But this time, Johnny noticed the blood on Angel’s teeth.

“That’s a violation, but since you’re my favorite employee, I’ll let it pass,” Angel said, the tone in his voice shifting. He acted unfazed by the punch, despite the blood dripping from his mouth.

“Where will you go after this? In your record, you’re a criminal. What establishment hires that?”

Johnny’s throat tightened. The words cut deeper than he wanted to admit, but he couldn’t show weakness. He couldn’t let Angel see how much it hurt.

“Face it, Johnny,” Angel continued, his voice low, almost a purr. “You’d be out on the streets without me.”

Johnny took a step back, his mind racing.

“What, you think you’re special?” The words came out harsher than intended. His pride, his ego, both were on full display now.

Angel’s expression shifted, a crack in his facade. “I don’t need you. I can find other employees much better than you— but I know you need me.” His eyes narrowed, darkening. “You need this job.”

Johnny felt the heat of anger rising within him, but he fought it down. “You don’t know that. I can just leave.”

“Fine. Leave,” Angel challenged, his voice dripping with finality.

Johnny hesitated, his hand twitching at his side. There was a cold knot forming in his stomach, and his breath caught in his throat. Could he leave?

“See? You can’t even leave. You and I both know you can’t.”

Johnny’s fists clenched. The knot in his chest twisted painfully. He hated that Angel was right. He hated the way his mind was screaming at him, telling him that he couldn’t walk away, that Angel had him trapped. That he was stuck, caught in a situation that was only going to get worse.

“I hate you,” Johnny spat, the words tasting bitter on his tongue. His chest heaved with frustration, but his voice was steady, dripping with venom.

Angel’s smile didn’t falter. If anything, it grew, a twisted thing that made Johnny’s skin crawl. His bloodied teeth glinted under the light, and a thin rivulet of crimson trickled down the corner of his mouth, stark against his pale skin. He licked his lips absently, smearing the blood as if he didn’t notice—or didn’t care.

“Good,” Angel cooed, his voice low and dark. He leaned in, unbothered by the metallic tang that surely filled his mouth, unbothered by the way the blood dripped steadily down his chin, staining the collar of his shirt. The sight was unnerving, but Angel’s gaze never wavered, locking with Johnny’s.

Johnny’s breath hitched. He watched as he leaned in a little closer, close enough that Johnny could see the dark red pooling behind his teeth, the way it clung to his gums. The metallic scent was faint but present.

He tilted his head slightly, his smile curling further. “Hate me all you want,” he murmured, his voice smooth, yet carrying an edge sharp enough to cut. Another bead of blood fell, landing on the floor between them with a faint plop. “It just means you’re still thinking about me. And that?” He grinned wider, the crimson smear on his lips now grotesquely vibrant.

‘That’s all I need.’

[shadowwolfmemes]

I'll list everything they did to me. Let's see...

Feds [They called me a fed for making a call out on them]

R slur [They do this to everyone tbf]

Unintelligible [How am I supposed to read and understand your "callout" post if your post can't even form a proper sentence??? Like, sorry for not being able to understand gibberish...]

You transphobe [If I were truly transphobic, I would've blocked one of my best moots.]

CARS! [It's so funny how they accuse me of sending cars to their place when really, they're extremely paranoid.]

This bad person! [Their "callout" posts are funny because they're so stupid. XD]

PFHAHAHA [Anime villain laugh]

Harassing on anon [They did it once. Pussy!]

Pronoun change

Story not adding up [They're not making any sense when they try to twist the narrative on me.]

Hypocrisy

SH baiting [Ooh, I'm so scared. Don't want to feel the wrath of your alpha wolf demon. /sar But seriously, their SH wounds means nothing to me.]

Sui baiting [Idgaf if they're suicidal. After everything they've done, they haven't given me a good reason to care.]

Nothing burger [The lying about Vriska asking to get blocked is a blatant lie. Everyone knows that.]

Death threat

Gore

Typing quirk

Block evade

Obnoxious response

Man, oh man, memeing on this person is so much fun!

NEW BINGO JUST DROPPED 🗣🔥🔥🔥🔥💯⛓️⛓️💯⛓️

you're awesome and funny and amazing btw!

Aw thank you l! I can't wait to play this when I get back ^^

[tumblunni]

OH MAN I HAD SUCH A BAD SLEEP I took too many headache pills and forgot they contain caffeine and i was up all night Dying Of Tired and then when i finally passed out i had like five damn nightmares at once?? Its hard to even remember most of them but I just know I was really inexplicably legitimately panicked about a bunch of super arbitrary nonsense. Like.. brain so shot that I couldnt even compose a decent narrative for why the thing is scary. WTF...

Like at one point I was just reenacting the final boss fight from Deadly Premonition?? And like there’s a bunch of actual reasons why that thing pisses me off, like how cliche it was to make the One Fat Man In The Town the villain, and how suddenly we’re adding a really crass rape plot and LOL isn’t it even more gross cos he’s overweight. Right after a big ol ‘demon trans person’ fight and one of the most sympathetic characters getting dragged through the mud and discarded. Like seriously fuckin EVERYONE betrays you and then your love interest dies from monster rape while crying ‘don’t look at me I’m soiled’ and fucking PUNS cos evil fatman is some sort of plant monster. God I stopped caring about that game immediately, it went from zany weird to just horrible. ...but in the dream it wasn’t any of that sort of nuance, it was just me for some reason being legit terrified of evil fatman’s comedy boss fight. Seriously, after how detestable he is, they give you a stupid fatness stereotype joke fight where he bounces around like a terrible 60s b-list superhero. Why was dream me legitimately terrified of friggin yoshi ground pound man?! I think the real terror here was just that I was reminded this damn game exists.

And then also for some reason another part of the nightmare was Supreme Anxiety over designing a fan character for sonic the hedgehog?? Somehow I’d won the awesome right to add a character to the series and I was like BUT I HAVE NO IDEAS EXCEPT *points at literally the exact same sprite of my terrible super sonic recolour monkey oc from age 12, somehow blown up to the size of a building* And like I needed to demolish that but it was made of lego bricks, and I was all ‘aaa but i don’t even know if the character would be put in the games or the sonic boom tv show, they have very different sense of humour. do i have to make a playable character or just a comedy npc like the Meh Burger guy?’ incidentally sonic boom the show is awesome and reminds me of my childhood cos lol we got AoStH in britain instead of that grimdark future freedom fighters thing. That was our comic instead! its funny how similar the british and american comics are and yet how insanely different! but i still love a zany fourth wall breaking trash show and im so fucking happy we now have a way more well animated one! Anyway this was SO SUPER STRESSFUL cos I havent even been very involved in sonic fandom since I was a lil kid, but it was a thing I did with my now deceased grandma so its Kinda A Big Deal. I think dream me even considered making a character based on her, but I decided it was too close to eggman. She was such a supervillain of hugs! So yah it just ended with me at Green Hill Zone and then i fuckin run off into the distance and never come back. DONT GIVE BUNNI RESPONSIBILITIiiiiiies...!!

Also there was something about some sort of.. ghost phone app dating game? It was so weird cos I was a person sitting on a bus playing the app and then the love interest from the app actually got on the bus and I guess we were actually just texting? And for some reason I had to take pictures of the moon, which looked like a tiny head of eggman’s voiceactor with little stick limbs attatched. And a day and night cycle kept going super fast so i was like ‘ehh only ten minutes til another good shot’. And I guess the eggmoon got bigger to show your progress thru the plot...?? ‘That’s my favourite star’ says anime schoolgirl, romantically... So yeah all I knew was that this was somehow a horror game and supposed to have jumpscares, but I was like HELL YEAH DATING A GHOST! And then the plot twist was something like the bus was the bus to the afterlife and we were both ghosts. So like you’d get the bad ending for running away from ghost girlfriend and then find out the only thing outside the bus door is infinate blackness and You Was The Zombie Too But the bigger scary twist for me was that in this universe I’d died from being strangled by my abusive dad and then suddenly everyone was super unsympathetic to me and telling me I’d deserved it and oh man poor dad having to deal with a lil shit like me Zombie dating? perfectly fine! zombie dating an abuse apologist? NOPE.

And then i also dreamed about a neat game that I’m sad doesn’t actually exist. I was desperately trying to remember the name of it as if it did exist?? i feel betrayed?? XD It was something where there were four nature spirit boys and I had to help them regain their power and potentially have dating sim shenanigans I guess?? I just recall that they all started as a tiny mascot creature and it was that dumb cliche of ‘actually my true form was specifically an attractive person of the designated gender you prefer, at the exact same age as you! what are the odds!’ But they still looked pretty neat in their more humanoid form, they were still monster boys rather than the super superest of cliche dating sim characters. And I recall there was an interesting thing of every route being a wildly different genre? like they’d all start the same with me suddenly getting this weird mascot critter, but then the answer as to what exactly the spirits were and what his amnesiac memory was was always different. Like in one of them (fire, I think?) it turned out to be a post apocolyptic sci fi where the earth was running out of resources and children with psychic potential were kidnapped and turned into genetic experiments to create these ‘spirits’. They were more like humanized terraforming machines?? It was really kind of a neat plot twist?? And I recall that fire guy was a sad shy dood kinda like nageki from hatoful boyfriend, and his monster boy traits were interesting cos he had dusty grey hair with only a few scattered red strands, and it would blaze up into a burning white flame whenever he lost control of his emotions. (similarly with just a tiny red flame cowlick in the middle) And I think the water spirit was a very pompous kingly type whos mascot form looked like a slime from dragon quest. He was my favourite, he was good comic relief and very huggable! I think his plot got all twisty and sad tho, like it turns out he wasn’t the real king but just a clone duplicate made to use as a body double. And it was depressing that he was so convinced his memories were real and so utterly oblivious to the fact he was like.. melting, a lot, often. Thats normal rite? U just cant do it cos you’re a commoner! These magic powers are totally a thing of the royal lineage and not proof that I actually really am a dragon quest slime with a bad case of identity issues! Anyway we punched the jerkass king and rescued the real prince and they lived happily ever after as if they were just a regular set of twins. And human prince was all ‘I’mma be the best wingman!’ and kept teasing you about ending the story on a kiss. It was cute! I dunno about the other two love interests tho, I just definately know there were four of them for some reason. Also for some reason dream!me was constantly criticising the game’s art style, that was a little annoying XD

[starkaryen]

Bryan and my auto’s story at RDC3

Ok. So. A LOT of things have happened at RDC3, and I haven’t processed any of them. But this one, especially... I need to write a post about it (if you want to know more about my adventures at RDC3, you just need to go to my twitter, or the thread I made with ALL my tweets about the con, HERE, and take a look).

Also, it’s gonna be long (that’s what he said), so I’m sorry in advance. But bear with me.

(Before I begin, I need to give some context. In case you don’t know, I have a book. Basically, a few friends surprised me by working their asses off to put together a lot of my fics to print them, because my dream has always been having A BOOK with my writing (because writing means SO MUCH TO ME, gosh). At first it was supposed to be something just for me, and the first version of the book, the one I have, even had some problems, mistakes, etc (which I love because now it’s unique xD). But when I announced what had happened on twitter, some people told me they wanted to buy a book. I was shocked, because I was like, what the hell?!?! And I still am a little shocked that there are people now with my book on their bookshelves- but, that’s not the point. The point is I corrected the mistakes from the first version and put it up for sale, and people actually bought it (!!). Some people bought it for RDC3, so I brought those books with me, and around 6 extra copies just in case someone wanted to purchase it there.

Okay, context given, I’m gonna get on the story.)

Before the con, while thinking what to take to get signed, I considered the Feeding Hannibal book, the art book, etc. But while I would’ve also loved that, I also considered the copy of my book. Because it was... so much more personal?? And after all the good things the book has brought me, having it signed by them would make it EVEN MORE special. So, even though I was scared as hell about it, I finally decided to take the book.

And now, we fast forward to the con. The Gold tickets had the autographs with Hugh and Bryan on Sunday, and with the rest on Saturday. As a quick anecdote, Scott signed my book (after asking what it was, I told him, and he said “uh, nice!”) but wrote my name “wrong”, just without the acute accent (my name is Icíar). When it was Aaron’s turn, after asking me to pronounce my name like 5 times and saying “oh my god, looooovely!”, and trying to pronounce it himself and failing (he’s so cute xD), he opened the book and asked, “this is an acute accent, right???” and I went like, “yeah, but don’t worry, because most people don’t put it on the name” (which is sadly true, and most people here in Spain pronounce it wrong whether it has the acute accent or not xD). But he went like, NO! I’M GONNA WRITE IT!!! And Scott didn’t??!?!” and looked at me like !!!! And I joked “yeah, can you believe him??” XD. So, he signed it, and then added a GIANT arrow to make sure we all see the acute accent xDDDDDD

Okay, Sunday. I was so SO nervous.

We came to the autograph’s queue for Bryan and Hugh. They had put Bryan first and then Hugh, which was a HUGE mistake because Bryan was taking sooooo long with each single person, his queue was the slowest ever. So they had to be constantly relocating people from Bryan’s queue to Hugh’s, because his queue was running out while Bryan’s wasn’t moving. That’s what they did to Emma ( @firuflies, who was coming with me) and I, and they sent us to Hugh’s queue. When I got to him, I handed him first the Holy Trinity print from @camilleflyingrotten that I was also taking to have signed. He looked at it and said “this is awesome...”, then signed it and announced cheerfully “top of the iceberg!! (his signature)” xDDDD. Then I gave him the book, and when he saw the “Mongoose” title, he GIGGLED, as if saying “aaah I know why this is called Mongoose”, but thankfully didn’t ask anything else (thankfully because that would’ve been TOO many emotions, for sure xD).

We went back to Bryan’s queue and I swear we were there for like an hour. BUT, THE MOMENT CAME FINALLY.

I was going first, and Emma was behind me. So I said hi, and he was as cheerful and kind as ever. The first thing I did was explain to him that we had brought him a letter from the @hannibalcreative, and I had brought him another letter and a poetry book I wanted to gift him, but the stewards had taken the gifts from us at the entry. And he said, “but they’re in my box???” (like, super excited), “Yeah, yeah, they’re in the box!” “Okay!!!” (he’s seriously the best xD). So I finally give him first Camille’s Holy Trinity print, he takes it and says “Oh Camille, she is SO talented...” (in case you missed it, Bryan fucking knOWS Camille, and he loves her art. He talked ABOUT HER on stage on one of the Q&As, and about the Cuba Kiss one with Hugh xDD), and Emma and I were like, “YES, SHE IS SO TALENTED!!” and he told us that he wanted a Cuba Kiss poster, so I told her, “well, you have her redbubble now!” (he asked her for a card) ahaha. 

So he signs the print, and then it was the book’s turn. He takes my book - which, by the way, MY copy of the book doesn’t have the title or name on the front, it’s just the ravenstag -, opens it and starts flipping through some pages, and then I start shaking, because he’s gonna ask, he’s gonna ask- and he asks: “whaaaaat... is this...?” So I go like “uuuuuuhhhh thissssssss issssss... a collection of.... fanfics that I wrote?? (I probably sounded stupid, but I was seriously like !!!!) My friends put them together to print them... and then... we printed a few more for people who asked for it...???” So in that moment Bryan looks up at me open-mouthed like !!, and asks, ASKS, “Oh!! Can I order it??” In that moment I started shaking (like, seriously), and I opened my mouth but my brain didn’t cooperate, and I think I only managed to mutter “uuuuuuuh” (bob Burger’s Tina style). But luckily, Emma was right beside me, and she reached for my backpack, yanked it open and pulled out the last extra copy of my book I had left, and says, “ACTUALLY! *puts book on table* she has an extra copy!” At that point I’m like “O__O”, and Bryan looks at it and then suddenly reaches to his back pocket, pulls out his wallet, and says “Oh! Can I buy it???”

And. Well.

I died right there.

(Because. Okay. Leave apart the fact that this is a book written by ME, which, HOLY FREAKING FUCK, but I’m actually a nobody. But can you fucking believe Bryan Fuller pulled out his wallet to PAY SOMEONE for a collection of FANFICS about HIS SHOW??? Like, who THE HELL DOES THAT??? With any other creator, they would’ve side-eye me, judged me, they would’ve probably thought “this isn’t exactly legal, you know?” or just said “ah, okay” and kept signing it. But no. BRYAN FULLER ASKED ME HOW COULD HE ORDER IT, AND THEN HE PULLED OUT HIS WALLET TO PAY ME.)

*Clears throat*

Okay, so. I obviously told him, “NO NONONO!! Please keep it!!!” Because I was NOT going to accept his money, like wtf!! And he asked, “you sure??” and I don’t know how I didn’t start chuckling bc !???!?, and said, “YES OF COURSE!!” So he picked up the book, put it on a small pile of things he had on the table, and looked me again in the eye and said “thank you!” to which I said “no, THANK YOU!” (I think I thanked him like a million times from that moment to the moment we left). After that, I was fucking dead, and didn’t catch it, but Emma told me he also touched the book right before signing mine, and said “I can’t wait to get on this”, so HAH BYE.

After that he finally signed my actual copy of the book (which I love because he chose THAT quote and I almost cried right there when I saw it), but in that moment I was like, “OH SHIT, I should tell him my book has... you know. SMUT!!!” So I went: “I should warn you, though, this has... this is...” and as I was so fucking dead, I coULDN’T FIND the word I was looking for (explicit, or something... you know. More subtle), so I blurted out: “PORN.” I think Bryan smiled and started waving his hand like “it’s okaaaay”, but I wasn’t finished, and I continued: “WELL, I mean. You showed us a DICK(*), soooooo...” and he nodded and said “Yeah! And I have porn too!” (which right now I don’t know if he means the pic he showed us, the book itself, or SOMETHING ELSE?? But oh, Bryan xDDD). So yeah, I’m the one that blurted out PORN in Bryan’s face because I couldn’t remember the proper word xD.

After that, he signed Emma’s things, I was like “holy fuck holy fuck hokyfcuk” meanwhile, and I even said “okay BYE!” before Emma was done, and I was like, “SHIT, COOL IT!” But how could I cool it xD. When she was done, I thanked him AGAIN for everything, and I went out of the autographs’ room while Emma told me to breathe or something, but I was seriously like “O____O”. I don’t know how I managed not to cry, but I was SO DEAD. After that, I went to my group of friends and collapsed on the floor (bless the floors, our friends this weekend), and took me like 2 hours to react xD

(*) At the Meet&Greet, he asked us what our favorite part of American Gods was, and I leaned forwards and asked, “you mean, apart from the Jinn chapter...?” He also leaned in and looked at me and said, “oh, YOU LIKED THAT? WELL!” and took his phone and searched for something while he explained to us that the special effects department had sent us a picture of the Jinn, and he sent it (I guess to the studio, or whatever? I can’t remember that detail, but anyway), but they asked him for a BIGGER penis *in that moment Bryan rolled his eyes xDDDD*, so as a joke, they did *THIS* And then he proceeded to show each of us the picture of the Jinn... naked... with a HUUUUGE penis. Like, yeah. They can’t complain with that lmaoooo (which, by the way, IT WAS SO FUCKING COOL and I can’t believe he showed us that and I can’t wait to see the show, AAHHHHH!!!!!). So after that, he also said that if we liked that, they’ll be doing it MUCH more explicit in the show, because if the book had a blowjob and then cuts to the aftermath, the show is gonna be EXPLICIT, because it’s two muslim men and IT’S WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO, and I was like, YASSSSS.

So, yeah. That was the story of how I talked about penises and blowjobs with Bryan Fuller, and then he tried to buy my SMUT. I am deceased 👌