#It's still the forth somewhere ok im just a little late

[nightwingsgirlfriend]

happy slightly late birthday lucy 🎈🎈🎈 love u (shes my favourite) (shh don't tell my other kids)

[cyncerity]

👁👄👁 can I ask for anything with naga Phil au?

I TOLD YOU I WAS ACTUALLY WRITING IT!! >:)

Anyways here the long awaited naga!Phil noms

Tw: vore, digestion mention, angst, swearing, puke mention

Phil turned to look at the food that Wilbur had gone out of his way making. Honestly, it all looked really good, for it just being pasta, the only food Wilbur could make. After Phil had been, well, shrunk, he couldn’t do what he needed to do for his family, like making dinner, so his sons had taken up his jobs around the house. Though it made Phil sad that he couldn’t do everything he needed to for his sons, he was grateful that they could at least take care of themselves without burning the house down or killing one another.

Phil subconsciously moved to slither up a leg of the table to get to the food and to get on level with his sons. He saw Techbo getting dishes out, Wilbur continuing to stir pasta in a pot, and Tommy being an unhelpful gremlin as per usual. The tiny naga smiled as he moved through the table to get to a ramp that led him from his current position to the top of the cabinets near Wilbur, who was talking to Techno and doing his best to avoid Tommy’s shenanigans.

He almost got up when Tommy suddenly bumped the counter, sending Phil tumbling down without the time to even scream before he fell into the pot that Wilbur was stirring. He couldn’t even yell out to Wil since he was still talking to Techno, who also apparently didn’t notice Phil almost drowning in noodles.

Finally, after what felt like hours to Phil, the stirring stopped, leaving him buried in noodles. He tried fruitlessly to slither his way to the top of the pot, and just as he got close, he felt himself being lifted very quickly with…a spoon maybe? It was hard to tell before he was dumped in a bowl and then quickly covered with even more pasta as he heard Tommy say something about going to his room. Suddenly the surface he was in was moving and swaying slighlty, and he could hear the feet of his youngest moving beneath him as Tommy ran to his room.

The bowl was soon layed on an uneven surface that Phil could only assume was Tommy’s bed. Phil managed to grab the edge of the bowl and peer over side just in time to see Tommy turn up the volume of his phone, which was propped up against his sheets and playing some sort of cereal video. But even with the volume almost all the way up, Phil couldn’t hear a sound out of the phone.

It dawned on him that Tommy had earbuds in just to late, as in the time it took for him to process that information he felt himself be pulled back under the noodles as his tail was forcefully twisted around cold metal, leaving Phil unable to escape what he now unfortunately realized was a fork.

Tommy didn’t take his eyes off his screen for long enough to realize that Phil was stuck to his utensil, and he didn’t hear Phil calling out to him. Tommy just slipped the fork into his mouth as Phil screamed in terror, and slipped the newly emptied fork out just as quickly, leaving Phil no escape. Phil made a move to try and pound on the teeth that surrounded him, but they quickly re-opened just long enough for Tommy to fit another mouthful of spaghetti. Tommy barely chewed the food, which Phil would have been more disappointed with had it not been for the fact that if Tommy were chewing, Phil would more likely be crushed to death, before swallowing to make room for more food.

Phil barely had time to get used to the unbearable humidity of the mouth before he was sucked tail-first down the throat. In little to no time the only part of him still in the mouth was his torso, and Phil could feel exactly where the sphincter tightened around part of his tail, and he could feel the part of his tail that was already in the stomach, since it was the only part of him that wasn’t being constricted at the moment besides his upper body.

Phil made every move in his power to scream and claw at Tommy to let him out. As much as it hurt him to try and use his claws on his own son’s throat, he didn’t want to die by someone he loved, and someone who didn’t even know that they were putting their father in danger. Phil continued to scratch at the mouth as he flailed the free part of his tail in the stomach against the walls back and forth as hard as he could, trying to use every part of him to alert Tommy that something was wrong.

He not only heard but felt Tommy’s stomach growl slightly at the movement from Phil’s tail and he heard Tommy start to cough, since having something stuck throughout his whole esophagus was making him feel sick. Phil’s hope sparked that maybe, just maybe, Tommy would at least accidentally cough him out.

That spark of hope was extinguished when a wave of soda came splashing at Phil, making his already slippery claws let go of the flesh surrounding him and sending him down into the hollow organ below.

A few antagonizing moments later and Phil was left curled up in Tommy’s stomach, trying to process what had just happened. He was in a stomach. And not just a stomach, his son’s stomach. Tears began to fall from his eyes as he realized that his own son would kill him, and wouldn’t even know what happened to him. His family would think that maybe he was eaten by some wild animal, or got stuck somewhere and starved. Maybe they would just assume he left them. After all, they wouldn’t have a body to confirm his death. Tommy would have digested him by the time they realized he was missing.

Phil began to coil in a circle around the stomach and against the walls in a motion that would have mimicked pacing if he still had legs. The longer he thought about it, the worse the scenarios that entered his head got. Tommy’s stomach rumbled loudly, probably from the fact that Phil had been punching against all sides of the stomach for a while at that point, and he heard a groan from above him and felt the wall against him press in, and that was all it took for Phil to pass out from stress and fear.

*******

Tommy pressed a hand against his stomach, which growled under it as he let out a pained groan. His stomach felt uneasy, like there some sort of uncomfortable weight in it, and he felt like throwing up. He wasn’t sure why, since he had just been fine, but maybe it was the pasta. He got up slowly to go to his brothers and get some sort of medication or something to settle his stomach, but was stopped by Wilbur before he could reach the medicine cabinet.

“Toms, have you seen Phil? I don’t think he got any food yet and I haven’t seen him in a while.” Tommy scoffed at Wil before turning back to his quest for some kind of anti-acid.

“Maybe Phil’s the lucky one, if he didn’t get any of your fucked up food yet. I feel like shit, big man, honestly. Like, I feel like I’m about to throw up.” Wilbur’s face shifted to concern as he looked Tommy.

“I don’t think it was the pasta. Techno had some, too, and he seems alright. Maybe you should get something to help you empty your stomach, you probably just ate to much.” Tommy nodded along. Honestly, it made sense to him. And it would explain the queasy feeling of something swaying in his gut every time he moved, it was probably just to much food. “Alright then,” Wilbur continued, “I’ll go get you a pill or something and you go get a bowl.” Tommy did as Wilbur said and they met back up in the living room, Tommy with a big metal bowl and Wilbur with a pill and a small cup of water. Tommy quickly took the pill from Wilbur and swallowed it down and Wilbur slid the bowl closer to Tommy as he noticed him start to look more sick.

*********

Phil slowly woke up looking around him to see he was…in something, and still surrounded in pasta. The walls around him were tall and shiny and cold, much cooler that the dreadful heat of the stomach. Metal. A metal bowl? How’d he get there?

As he became more and more conscious, he began to process that there was yelling somewhere above him, too.

“…well then how the hell’d he end up there?!” “I have no fucking idea, I swear!!” “How could you not know?!” “Are you trying to accuse me or something?!” “Would you both please calm down!!”

Phil knew those voices anywhere. His vision cleared enough to see Tommy and Wilbur engaged in a shouting match, and Techno trying and failing to calm them down.

Phil began to try and get out of the bowl when he was suddenly picked up out of nowhere and practically smothered with attention from his sons, all of whom were fretting over whether or not he was ok.

“I- Im fine…” Phil said, voice hoarse from the screaming earlier. He was soon lifted up higher towards Tommy, who he realized had picked him up. Phil’s face fell as he realized Tommy’s cheeks were lined with tear tracks.

“Phil, I’m so sorry, I don’t even know what happened, I didn’t mean to, I swear, I-“ “It’s alright, mate.” Phil interrupted, leaning forward and hugging Tommy’s nose. “It’s alright.”

He felt Tommy’s body begin to shake with slight sobs as he began crying again, pressing Phil into his nose gently with his hands. He turned his head to see Wilbur and surprisingly Techno join the hug, too, both relieved that Phil was ok. They were both horrified to see Phil unconscious in the bowl, and knowing he had been in Tommy’s…it was hard to think about. They were just glad he was ok. And Tommy was just glad he’d forgiven him.

And Phil was just glad that his sons still cared, even if he couldn’t be the best dad to them at the moment. They were still a family, and he’d never choose to abandon or leave them.

[snowsanji]

even more dad!schlatt hcs:

this is a continuation of my first two dad!schlatt hc fics (pt.1 pt.2) 

- “philza minecraft!” tubbo called out, walking into phil’s house without knocking first. all of phil’s stuff was strewn across the room, chests wide open. 

“yes, tubbo?” phil answered, from somewhere in the house. “and don’t mind the mess, i’m reorganizing my chests.” 

“is schlatt my dad?” 

“what would prompt that?” phil peaked his head out from around a corner, the color draining from his face upon seeing glatt. 

“what’s wrong phil? looks like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

“schlatt? a-aren’t you dead?” 

glatt shrugged. “eh, didn’t stick with me.”

phil sighed, kneeling down infront of tubbo. “tubbo, it’s true. schlatt was your father. he raised you until he couldn’t anymore, which is when he left you with me.” 

“oh.” tubbo looked to the floor. 

“but not the way you’re thinking. schlatt cared about you. so much. he had to leave you, he got caught in some...bad things. he didn’t want you to be hurt by his actions.” phil looked at glatt. “which is why you wouldn’t remember. it was painful for you.” 

tubbo and glatt remained silent. 

“now this is a lot to process, i know. and tubbo, i know this must be hard for you, so even if im not your dad i’m still here for you. ok?” 

tubbo smiled. “ok phil. i’ll leave you to your reorganizing.” 

tubbo walked out, and as glatt started to follow phil spoke to him. 

“schlatt that applies to you as well. i knew you well while you raised tubbo. i can help if you need.” 

glatt nodded. “thanks phil.” he walked out of phil’s help and floated over to tubbo. 

“so....” glatt said awkwardly. 

“listen glatt. i want to get to know you. i really do. but its kinda alot for me right now. and i’m also a president. and there’s this.” tubbo gestured to the scars on his face. 

“yeah, how did that happen?” 

“i don’t wanna talk about it.” 

at that moment, glatt and tubbo heard a loud shout. 

“AYYYY TUBBO! MY FRIEND!” tommy yelled from the distant hill. 

tubbo smiled. he looked back at glatt. “i’ll talk to you later, maybe.” he started to run to tommy before glatt called out. 

“can i say hi to tommy?” 

tubbo stopped and turned, his face grim. “no. i don’t want him knowing we’re family ok? and if he does i want to tell him. not you.” 

glatt watched his son run over and start talking to tommy. he sighed. what did schlatt do when he was alive? why did so many people seem afraid of him. 

“what did i do?” schlatt looked down at his hands, deep in thought. 

- one late afternoon, glatt was sitting on a hill, looking out on lmanberg. 

“hello there! you look a little sad.” a voice said, appearing behind glatt. “would you like some blue?” 

glatt looked up to see a figure standing above him, holding out some sort of blue substance. the figure was extremely pale, and floating. 

“are you dead too?” glatt asked. 

“yes i am. but i haven’t seen you before. im ghostbur. who are you?” ghostbur cocked his head curiously. 

“i’m glatt. i was called schlatt but...” 

“i used to be wilbur.” 

“wilbur....wilbur.” glatt thought about the name in his head. “i think, i knew you. before.” 

“i’m sorry but i don’t remember you.” ghostbur replied. 

“eh, its alright. i can’t remember much either. i can really only remember my son.” 

“your son?” 

“tubbo.” 

ghostbur’s pupil-less eyes seemed to widen. “your tubbo’s dad? tubbo is my secretary of state. was my secretary of state. he’s the president now.” 

“do you know what happened to him? the scars on his face. he won’t tell me about them.” 

ghostbur looked down. “i don’t. i don’t think it was a happy memory for alivebur. i think he blamed himself.” ghostbur looked back up, eyes lighting up. “but i know who we can ask! technoblade! he’s very knowledgeable on things. im sure he’ll know what happened.” 

and so the two ghosts made the long trek to techno’s cabin, avoiding the snow on their way. they made it to his front door. 

“are you sure he’ll be okay with us turning up randomly?” glatt asked. 

“of course. techno’s nice!” ghostbur smiled before knocking on the door. 

a large half pig half man answered the door. his overall appearance was quite intimidating, aside for the reading glasses perched on his nose. 

“ghostbur hello. and hello to you....schlatt? ghost schlatt?” 

“glatt.” 

“ah.....glatt. what can i do for you? and if it’s execute tubbo again, im retired.” 

glatt paused. “sorry, maybe i didn’t hear you right. did you just say execute tubbo?” 

“uhh... yeah?” techno looked confused. “what’s going on here.” 

“techno he came to ask what had happened to tubbo. why he has the scars on his face. neither of us can seem to remember.”  

techno moved aside. “here come in. don’t mind the enderman, he’s my roommate.” 

glatt, still stunned by this information barely moved, instead being guided by ghostbur into techno’s cabin. 

“i-i did what?” 

“here allow me to start from the beginning. would anyone like tea?” 

ghostbur nodded excitedly. techno got out a kettle and began to boil water as he spoke: 

“tubbo was spying for pogtopia, which was alivebur’s rebellion against your administration, schlatt. it was alivebur, me, tommy and tubbo. he stayed in manberg, which is what you renamed lmanberg, and got us information. but on the.. i wanna say the 16th of october, you held a manberg festival. tubbo decorated the event and at the end of tubbo’s speech you trapped him in a box. you said you knew he was a traitor and that he needed to be made an example of.” 

the tea kettle began to whistle. techno took a small tea cup from his cupboard and poured the boiling water in. 

“ghostbur, earl grey or honey lemon?” he asked. 

“honey lemon sounds nice.” ghostbur smiled. 

techno brought ghostbur his cup of tea and sat down next to glatt. 

“you called me on stage and told me to execute him. after some back and forth, i did, killing you and quackity in the process.” 

“tubbo...” glatt held his head in his hands. “how...how could i have done that? he-he was my son!” 

“its alright, glatt.” ghostbur said reassuringly. “im sure you had your reasons. you don’t know what you were thinking.” 

“what reason could i have for murdering my own son? i really am i villain, huh?” 

[greekbros]

"greek-Bros: The Return of an Old Enemy"

Chapter 9: The 'War' Room

It was approximately high noon, the Dionysian Games were at their peak, all was well for the residents of Delphi except for one. Dionysus was in his competitors tent near the game field, explaining to Hermes the whole situation. Dionysus had agreed to a challenge that had now put Delphi and Ariadne in a compromising situation, if Ares won the joust he would take everything from the land to sleeping with his beloved wife.

Dionysus was laying on a pile of pillows, deeply remorseful of his string of terrible decisions. "I can't believe I would put Ariadne in this situation I really am like dad!", he sobbed, "WHY the fuck did I even agree to this?!", he continued while crying into his pillow. Hermes sat next to him, patting his back trying to comfort him. He couldn't care too much about how it all happened but he had an idea on how he was going to help.

Hermes laid down on the pillows and let out a relaxed sigh, he already had the plan all mapped out. "Dionysus, you know very well even if Ares does win...I'm not letting him screw you and Ariadne. By the way....is he using his OWN horses for this?", he asked. Ares's chariot was pulled by a trio of horses that would be best described as literal Night Mares, these mystical fire breathing war horses are fast, aggressive and can pull a lot more than Ares's weight.

Dionysus turned, sniffling, "....I'm not sure why?", now he was curious as to what Hermes was planning, "why? What are you going to do?". He was desperate to find some way of winning. It would be devastating if Ariadne found out she was going to be a prize for Ares and lose her kingdom let alone have her husband lose a challenge he decided to enter.

Hermes gave a smirk, inspite of current events he always knew how to make time for anything. "Well, I remember correctly....his horses are pretty tough....if he is using his horses, I could let them out....replace them with some of the horses from here.....I mean...how does wine effect horses.... especially ones that....breath fire?", he asked with a sly grin. He leaped up, pacing back and forth. "We could.....get him drunk, throw him off his game...or...we can go a little more further.", he turned to Dionysus for some approval.

Dionysus was catching on with Hermes's plan. He stood up, "...yeah.....I see where you're going with this....yeah.....but how are we going to get the horses to drink the wine? I mean....you can't just lead a horse to water....also....what if an animal that BREATHES fire....wine is flammable you know...". The two were brainstorming, thinking of ways Ares could be sabotaged. Their brain power would get a boost in the form of someone outside. The two heard the familiar but eloquently frustrated voice of Apollo, demanding to see Dionysus. Dionysus rushes to the tent entrance and opens to see Apollo, talking to one of the satyrs guarding the tent. "Hey man how's it hanging?", Dionysus chimed.

Apollo turned around and the look on his face spoke a thousands that all could translate to "What the HELL did I tell you?!". He marched towards Dionysus, pushes him gently back into the tent to yell at him. "WHY IS THERE AN EVENT GOING ON?!?", he shouted, "I thought I told you to hold off on any parties or anything to make sure the people are safe from what's been going on!". He almost couldn't believe that Dionysus would go the point of risking the Delphians for the sake of having fun.

Dionysus slunked into himself like a turtle going into his shell. "W-well Apollo ol'pal...ugh....wow you are NOT going to believe what else....ugh...Ares is here too....aaaaaand I'm in trouble.....more specifically.... Ariadne is in trouble.", he tried to soften the news but even he knew it wasn't going to quell Apollo's mild fury.

Hermes stepped into help in his own way, "Yeah Dionysus bet his wife, Delphi itself and his patronship of Delphi to Ares if he lost.", successfully making the situation far worse. Apollo's usually fare glowingly pale face was slowly glowing a burning fiery orange with anger, it became hotter in the tent, melting any wax candles and drying any leaves from fruits inside. "Come on Apollo, are you really going to get mad inside of this highly flammable tent with your two favorite brothers in mine?", Hermes charmed Apollo. The hot glow dimmed back into the cooler pale tone he usually had, he knew no matter how angry he got it would be pointless to lose his temper.

Apollo took a deep sigh, sat down to further collect himself. ".....ok...now...what do you plan on doing then?", he asked. He could see both Dionysus and Hermes had a plan, and he knew he wasn't going to like it. "Oh good....it seems you both have something cooked up.", he begrudgingly assumed.

The two stood there looking at Apollo, Hermes walked to a table that had a bottle of wine. "Let's just say, Ares isn't going to drive his chariot straight if his HORSES have been drinking....oh..ugh....DID you see his horses?", he asked. Apollo nodded 'yes', so unfortunately, the plan of forcing Ares's horses to drink the wine would pose a challenge. "Ok, so....we will have to feed the horses something else....spiked fruit?", he suggested. The two looked at Hermes, both couldn't argue against the idea yet they found it to be a usable one.

Dionysus chimed in, "yeah I think I have some marinated apples somewhere. We could feed it to his horses if they don't drink the wine.", he left the tent to look for some at a food tent nearby, leaving the two brothers alone.

Apollo knew that Hermes wasn't here just to enjoy watching Dionysus's fake Olympic games, he had been watching what had been going on in Greece. "Hermes, now that we're alone. What have you seen as of late? Is what I've heard from Artemis true?", Apollo was referring to the wolf man that Hermes and Artemis had encountered. He had recently come in contact with Artemis, whom had come to him to ask about Zeus's whereabouts.

His mischievous demeanor calmed into a somber awareness. Hermes took a deep sigh, he got distracted with Dionysus's issue. He turned to Apollo, "yeah, it was pretty freaky...the thing didn't die on the first shot either. I haven't seen them appear during the day though. I think these creatures only come out of night.", he took off hat hat and scratched his head. "Dionysus was getting a lot of complaints....guess people here can't stand still for long....I can see why he caved in, he doesn't want to disappoint anyone....I can relate, buuuuut honestly the whole situation feels weird.". Hermes felt mildly uncomfortable about his encounter, he had been so use to seeing things die and stay dead, that it had never occurred to him that something could reanimate.

Apollo's stern face loosened up, "Well.....he always seems to listen to his mortal citizens more than me so I'm not sure why I always act surprised.", he relaxed a little but noticed Hermes a little bit worried, "Are you ok? Artemis did mention you didn't take too well to the.... creature.". He could see Hermes look like a someone who saw something he shouldn't.

"it's ok", Hermes replied, "....I just prefer dead things to be dead....that's all.". He turned to the shuffling tent wall and sees Dionysus come in with a jar of fruit pickled in wine. "Ah perfect Dio, I'll take the fruit and wine. Wait here and I'll handle the rest.", Hermes took the jar and an amphora of wine and jetted off, leaving Dionysus and Apollo in the tent.

Dionysus turned to Apollo, "sooooo........ugh....hehe, have you seen the games? Man the folks out there are having fun.", he tried to make it as if he wasn't caring about his dilemma but there was no point, "man I fucked up big time..... fucking Ares, the asshole.... should have asked for someone who wouldn't want to fuck Ariadne.....man I'm a terrible husband.", he slumped on to a pile of pillows. He was still worried about the joust, he was worried about losing Ariadne's trust in him, and above all he was worried if he resembled Zeus in the worst way possible. Dionysus let out a deep sigh, "guess I really am my dad's kid..."

Apollo could hear the hurt in Dionysus's voice, he got closer to him and placed his hand on his back. "Look, you messed up even for your standards.....but you're not a terrible husband, you two are young newlyweds, you've been married for a short amount time and mistakes happen.... don't be THAT hard on yourself. There's still time to fix things....does she know about the bet?", asked Apollo.

"No...she doesn't....and I don't want her to know about ANY of it. If I lose, I lose everything that's important to me....if I win...well...I have yet to see Ares be a good sport about losing....for all I know he'll tell her out of spite", Dionysus replied.

"Oh come now, Ares is a difficult person for sure and he's unbarable at times....but I doubt he will be that level of cruelty. Maybe he was just exaggerating...after all the man is the father of Fear and Terror himself, he would know a thing or two about making people fear him." Apollo reassured him. "Plus, I have no doubt Ariadne would forgive you. You've done quite a lot for her if you remember, she knows you love her and you'd end the world for her.", Apollo hoped his words would at least inspire Dionysus not to consider himself a failure of a husband. After all, he along with Hades, have seemed to have rather successful marriages and to compare one's marriage to Zeus's marriage is surly a blow to one's heart and soul let alone their ego.

Dionysus looked at Apollo and smiled, "....thanks....but I just don't want to mess up anyway.", he got up and took a quick peek outside to see how far into the games the people had gotten through. Unfortunately time wouldn't be on their side, it had seems the Delphians had gone through the whole games and have already started giving out makeshift medals. "GAH! THE GAMES ARE ALMOST DONE!", he loudly panicked, he ran towards the set of armor that he set aside so he can put on for the joust, "OH GODS IM FUCKED! Hermes better be done with what he was doing!", he quickly put on his armor.

"I'll go and distract Ares then, see if I can change his mind about the bet, good luck out there Dionysus.", Apollo quickly left Dionysus in the tent.

"Bye see you later.", Dionysus responded.

Elsewhere, Hermes was at a temporary stable where the horses for the joust. Hermes snuck into the stables in hopes no one noticed him. He looked around and could see Ares's three huge, scary looking chariot horses, he slowly tiptoed to them. The horses noticed his presence, these weren't friendly horses, these horses might as well have been the horses of straight from King Augeas's stable. Hermes took a bowl and pored the wine into it, he raised it to the opening of the stable up to the three horses. In a whispered voice, "...hey there buddies, you want something to take the edge off? Come on, it should smell irresistible.", Hermes was hoping the sweet smelling wine would attract their attention, one of the horses did I fact take a sip from the bowl. It drank the whole thing in a few sips, letting out a loud delighted whinny.

"Hehe, perfect.", Hermes poured another bowl to see if he could give more wine, the same horse drank the wine while the second horse became curious and took a few sips as well. Now all was left was to get the third horse hooked on the wine, but the third horse was different, this one was a stubborn mare that lead the trio while they pull the chariot. She wasn't going to fall for the wine as easily. Hermes took a quick peak at the mare, "c'moooooon, what gives?", he could see she was all the way in the corner, glaring at him while her brothers fought to take the last few sips. As Hermes poured the last of wine into the bowl, he went to take out a wine soaked pealed apple from the jar. He gently tossed to the mare, the other two horses could smell the wine on the apple and tried to go right for it, but the mare reared her head, snorting aggressively. The two other horses stopped, the mare sniffed the apple and took a small nibble.

It took a few seconds for the mare to understand why this apple was spicy, however, she seemed to have liked the spiked fruit and ate it in one bite. She clopped towards Hermes, intimidating him for more apples, he quickly obliged and held the jar to the mare. She shoved her muzzle into the jar, eating a few more bits of alcoholic fruit. Hermes wasn't satisfied yet, he left the jar with the mare and he quickly ran to get two more amphoras of wine. He quickly began to pore more wine for all three horses, the more the three sipped, the relaxed and tipsy they acted. The three swayed back and forth, bumping into each other, loudly snorting and whinnying.

Plan A, was a success. Hermes patted the three horses snouts, knowing damn well he would never have a chance to do this with Ares's horses ever again. "Ok, bye bye.", he darted off to see what Ares was doing, unfortunately, he was more focused than ever, he was now for some reason practicing using his sword on an innocent tree as if he was going to fight Dionysus to the death. "What the fuck is he doing, he isn't going to kill dionysus is he?", Hermes questioned to himself. He suddenly saw Apollo call out to Ares, wanting to have a conversation with him. "Ah oh, this is going to be good....or really bad.", Hermes hoped Apollo was going to help.

End of chpr 9

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Trophy chapter four

Masterlist

Warnings: Adult Themes Dubcon,Controlling Behaviour, Swearing, Smut +18 Only

Chapter 0ne Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter five Chapter Six

Your escape doesn’t go as planned as Henry reveals just how much power he truly has.

You were just over a week into your 'stay' at Henry's manor and had just about had enough. Youd spent the last few days in a constant fit of frustration. I had become very clear in the first few days that you were nothing more than a toy, a doll for him to coo over and manipulate. Or maybe a better way to discribe it was the girl in a childs music box being made to dance when ever the owner decided to open the lid. Either way you felt trapped used and helpless, at first he made sure you spent as much time as possible together taking you to the office when he had to work, sitting you on the sofa with a book or parade you around the house.

After that he would put you in what became your daily cell tho never alone if he wasnt with you kal was. Day after day you were left in here a freshly decorated room that youd heard the guards refer to as the play room, it was like a large airy living room like somthing from pintrest a plush looking corner sofa around a light coffee table,large tv on the wall above the fireplace with games consoles neatly tucked away,two floor to ceiling book cases either side ,there was a cabinet full of dvds and games behind the sofa opposite there was a sideboard filled with sketch books, pens and pencils ect and a two seat small dining table sat between the two cabinets. The room was a mix of soft pale pinks and blues and was chock full of soft furnishings pillows and various blankets draped here and there and huge faux fur rug . The window was locked being ground level ,that was the first thing you checked when left alone ,not that you'd get far across the gravel drive he had made a point not to give you shoes. The saying bare foot in the kitchen sprung to mind.

He would visit you when you were in here at lunch forcing you to eat with threats of spanking sometimes worse. Being treated like a child was wearing thin and to be quiet honest you were becoming scared,finding it easier to go along with his insanity, you called him daddy without a thought somewhere in the back of your mind you knew it was wrong but after just over a week he had managed to drum it into you. It was frighteing just how quickly you could be conditioned you had to get out soon. He was overbearing always helping himself to you, kissing ,touching and generally trying to act as if you were a couple until you did something he didnt like then it was back to threats and reality hit.

Today was slightly different you woke up curled on your side his henry lazily running his finger through your hair you squinted rubbing your eyes as he leant over kissing your shoulder before running hi hand across your tummy spreading out his fingers and pulling you back against his crotch, he rocked against your bottom groaning quietly into your hair as you felt his cock springing to life he grinded harder against you before shuffling pinning you flat on your back straddling you pulling your legs to rest either side of his hips you whined in protest trying to shuffle from under him when he pulled you down tight against him he just tilted his head raising and eyebrow. The warning was clear behave. He rubbed against your mound sliding his cock along the seam pf your pussy. You closed your eyes tight already feeling the arousal build inside of you dreading what was to come, you couldnt help how your body reacted you tried to just let him get on with it but each morning he managed to coax you into participating a little more, not letting you distance yourself any longer. He grunted low i his throat as he pumped himself against you resting his weight on his hips one hand cuped the top of his cock squeezing it against you as he pushed it against your clit. You gasped as you felt his throbbing cock against you pulling high pitched moans and whines as you bit your lip trying to keep quiet. He chuckled

"Oh fuck... thats it baby girl ...come on let daddy hear you." You shook your head back and forth as your pussy weeped onto him soaking both of you you found your self panting hard when he groaned grabbing one of your hands replacing his over his cock you tried pulling away and he growled at you.

"Stay still baby.... fuck thats it good girl.. your so good for daddy" he groaed deep as he sped up before leaving wet open mouthed kisses on your collar bone then kissed up to your lips trying to pry your mouth open you turned your head away. He sighed moving his hand into the boxers that you wore finding your swollen clit flicking and pinching harshly causing you to buck and cry out, he quickly took the opportunity to invade your mouth tasting your tongue sucking you into a passionate kiss he let go of your hand placing his hand pressing your knee up to your torso spreading you out for him rubbing his cock faster with jerky thrusts skimming your opening with every movement you gripped the sheets twisting them as you felt your walls trying to clench onto him desperate for him to fill you you rocked back against him looseing yourself in him as he smothered you he released your mouth biting down on your neck leaving a mark alongside yesterdays. You became hot, to hot as you flushed under him chasing your own end grinding up against him

"Oh! oh god please! Please i cant" you babbled incoherently as he repositioned his hand thumbing your clit and thrusting into you harshly with his fingers bouncing your body across the bed you let out a load moan as his hand worked furiously rubbing amd curling his finding your soft spot befor zeroing in and running his fingers harshly across it you cired bucking out at him unsure of you wanted hi to go faster or get off your climax built and he chuckled as your clamped down on his fingers to the point of pain

"Aww baby you want to cum dont you? Thats it good girl so good is it to much?" he didnt relent still masaging that spot you nodded and cried tears falling down your face you couldnt breath it was to much

"Then cum, its ok you can cum, cum for daddy ,all over daddies fingers" you hated how his wods pushed you over the edge and even then he didnt stop he seemed to double his efforts when you arched violently with a silent scream gushing over his fingers he continued moving draggin out your orgasm he moved higher running the underside of his cock across your mound with stuttering hips.

"Oh..OH shit YES YES fuck! OH GOD Little one fuck" he let out a long gruntle moan as he finished spraying cum up your front you both laid there panting. Shame washed over you like it had done every morning he did this. You felt dirty and used he rolled on his side tucking you in his arms kissing your head praising you for how good you were and telling you how much he loved you as you curled ijto him wetting his tinto him overwhelmed. After a few moments the saddness past and you laid stock still against him as he pulled you to lie across him head on his chest stroking your hair once again.

"Iv got to go out today pet. I trust youll be good whne im gone and if your lucky I'll get you a treat" you froze at his words gojng out... that meant youd be alone the thlught filled you with dread and anticipation.

"If your naughty you will regret it when i get back."you both laid there for what felt like hours he wouldnt let you move. Tho he finally let out a breath and ushered you to the bath room showering with you. After getting dressed and having breakfast he left and you noticed he didnt put you any where. You dread to think what he was doing. But you were left the run of the house. So here you sat in the kitchen alone in the huge house apart from the security he kept on site. 'This was it.. or was it a test?..' you raced to the living room window and watched an expensive car leave the gates at the bottom of the drive as it dissapeared behinde the wall that clossed off the property. You debated in your head if he was just waiting to see if you were going to try and run or not. You had to try, somthing was happening to you here ,you didnt like how complacent you were getting with him. It was cruel really the only person that was aloud to interact with you was him, you find yourself almost craving him, you enjoyed his praise lapping it up liike a love sick school girl.

Deciding that this may be the last time you could escape before it was to late you walked into the kitchen slowly as not to alert anyone to your plan even tho your heart was racing ten to the dozen. Quickly and quietly you pulled a small packet of plasters from one of the draws. Throught out your stay you learnt a few things all the doors leading outside and your 'play room' had pressure alarms built in you'd set one off on your forth day trying to get out into the garden resulting in another painfull and very embarassing spanking in the kitchen then experienced your first corner time, the other thing you learnt were all the guards had shifts and patrol routes the house ran like clockwork youd freighed interest in him and he'd waffled on about how it wasnt all bad and he'd take you out when you'd acclimated to your new life then boasted about the cars he had in the basment garage but you'd 'never get to drive one as driving these fast cars is to dangerous for his baby girl'. Tho you hadnt made a thing of it you kept the information locked away youd been behaving hopeing he would let down his gaurd. Once you got the plasters you put them in the pocket of your cardigan and grabbed a butter knife hooking it in the back of your jeans wedging it just under the tight waist band.

"What are you still doing in here? Get to the playroom" you screamed in suprize as the voice came out of no where you spun round faceing the man and nodded walking past him quickly.

"Wait. What have you been doing in here?" He said grabbing your arm pulling you to a stop you huffed tugging your arm.

"Let go i havent done anything" you twisted around as he patted you down you froze mouth going dry as you thought he was going to find the knife in your jeans he didnt instead his hands found the packet of plasters the cocked an eyebrow

"Im doing some crafts today these are incase i get a paper cut...im clumsy and tthought i should take a pack the keep in there just incase" he eyed you for a few seconds befor smirking at you

"So the princess was sneaking about for some plasters, im suprised you werent trying to sneak candy, would be more fitting for his baby girl." He laughed as you glared at him venomously

"Fuck you ,you cunt" you spat in his face he growled before grabbing your arm in a bruising grip dragging you out of the kitchen down the hall as you screamed at him, a few others poked their heads around to watch asking what was wrong as you were dragged down the hall once outside your day room he stopped pressing a card to the reader next to the handle disarming the door and answered their qeustioning stares.

"Nothing just a temper tantrum im sure she will regret later when Boss finds out." He turned back to you.

"He might even make a show of it, i wouldnt mind seeing her bent over" you growled as he opend the door throwing you in , grunting as you landed hard on the floor he whistled for kal and let the dog enter behind you befor shutting the door arming the device again. Shaking away tears in your eyes as you heard then others laugh about how theyd love to see 'a piece of that ass' kal sat beside you nudging you for a cuddle you hugged him breathing deep nuzzling his thick fur, he was the only company you enjoyed here after snuggling with him a few minuets you pulled away putting your plan into action you got out suome supplies fro the art cupborads scattering them hear and there to make it look like you had been drawing, hopefully if anyone came in and found you missing they would assume that you had asked one of the others to let you use the bathroom as the ensuite to this room wasnt finished. You aproached the door pulling out the knife and lowered it to the door handle, the worst thing about this system was that you werent technically locked in, the door opend but set off an alarm that was indicated by a small red flashing light on the card reading panel. Breathing deep you pulled out a plaster removing the tabs on it sticking oneside to your finger. Gentle you pulled down on the handle until you couldnt anymore easing the knife alongside the door pushing on the plate you pivoted your body opeing the door enough to get your hand in the gap and stuck the plaster over the bottom of the pressure plate securing it down. Holding your breath you waited a few moments before summerizing that it had worked when noone came rushing down the hall you quickly slipped thrpugh the door catching kal befor he could make his way out and shut the door fully. You blinked then jumped for joy you could bearly see the edge of plaster on the frame. Quickly you jogged to the end of the hall ducking low realising that not having shoes might be a god send as you were almost silent as you moved you got another plaster ready on your hand as you ducked and dived behind the counters in the kitchen making your way around to the door Henry had left through.'it must have been to the garage' you though you made quick work of the door not waiting to see if the alarm had set off as you heard foot steps coming your way you slipped through the door closing it behinde you and ran down the stairs into a large garage on the left there was lots of hooks with keys on them you toke shaky breaths scanning them befor looking over the cars there must have been about eleven in total ranging from massive range rovers to calssy two seater sports cars. 'I need on that can blend in, a hatch back or somthing, maybe a saloon' you thought running down the line of cars the most normal looking one was a Jag you quickly ran to the keys looking for a set with the same logo as the car finding two you grabbed them both pushing unlock on one set seing another car across light up you threw them on the floor using the other one to unlock the car getting in quickly you felt your tummy tie itself in knots turning on the ignition and pulled the seat forward you put on your seatbelt out of habbit then dojng a small cheer when you saw it was an automatic you put it in drive wincing as it growled to life louder then it needed to be you pulled it up to the garage door and it opend you pulled it forward going up the bank once at the top you saw a gaurd stopping staring befor shouting out to the others.

"Dont let the gate open!!" You panicked and floored it the car took off down the drive skidding you a stop near the gate the instantly began rolling open. On gaurd was sprinting down the drive behinde you. You looked down for a button to look the doors finding it by the window controls you flicked it on and heard the click at all four doors locked lokking up you saw the gate had stopped half way you spun the wheel throwing the scar around squeezing the car throuh the gate clipping the wing mirror off in the process putting your foot down you gave a triumphant shout as you tore down the road away from that house. Leaning back into the seat relaxing as you made yourway towards the town, it was the only way to get to the motorway that would lead out of the area. You wiped tears from your eyes as as relief flooded you sobs wracked your body the drive to the town took longer than you thought it would and you were suspicious as no one had chased you from the house and had spent the whole drive flinching at every car that pulled up behind you. Pulling up to a round about you stopped recognising the area deciding to take a less busy route pulling off to the outskirts of town you parked up into a superstore looking threw the car for money finding a few £20 notes a tap at the window you screamed turning it was a police officer you gulped looking in the rearveiw mirror seeing a squad car pulled up behind you blocking you in, he indicated for you to roll down the window.

"Yes can i help you?" You asked trying to sound normal

"Miss did you realise your missing a wing mirror?" You followed his gaze and smiled meekly. Getting a bad feeling in your gut.

"Yes, its my boyfreids car i borrowed it and hit a sign back there im going to book it in now hopefully get it done and he wont find out i hurt his baby" you ended with a chuckle patting the steering wheel he didn't look convinced and motioned for his colleague to join him

"Uh huh, so are you insured to drive this car? Sure you didnt hit another car?" You shook your head

" Well i hope im insured he said hed made me a name driver and no i didnt hit anyone, the car caught me by suprize i hadnt realised how much oommf it had and still getting used to the size its a bit wider then mine." You explained hoping you were convincing enough he smiled the held out his hand to you.

"Can i see your licence?" You froze then pretended to look around the car for it

"Oh shit i dont have my bag on me sorry can i give you my name instead and you can look it up on the system?" You pleaded hoping that he would let this one go

"So you dont have your purse on you? When your taking his car to the garage to get it fixed?.... yeah im gonna have to ask you to step out of the car now." He said moving back from the door you looked behind you panicking there was no way to pull out.

"Wh-what? Why?" You cried out as he put his hand in the car opeing the door

"No! No you cant do this you dont understand please!" You shouted at him as he undid your seatbelt pulling you out of the car cuffing your hands behind your back reading you your rights.

"Your under arrest for car theft,careless driving and driving with out insurance , you have the right to remain silent anything you do say can harm your defence and used in court ,Call it in we found Mr cavills car" you froze, hed called in that his car had been stolen. He used the police to track you. You wailed twisting against him as you realised why no one had chased you, he was using the police to bring you back to him.you cried as he dragged you to the squad car.

"NO! You dont understand he kidnapped me! Please you have to let me go! He's mad he locked me up please you have to help me." You kicked out as he forced you into the back seat on the car slamming the door you sobbed in the back seat as they locked up the jag and got in the front of the car.

"Please do make me go back i dont know what he'll do" you cried pitifully they sighed looking at you threw the plexiglass.

"Im sorry love there's nothing we can do for you... i wish there was but its our asses on the line" then he started the car driving towards the station. It wasnt long befor you found yourself in a cell heavy metal door between you and your escape laying on the bed crying and terrified of whats to come. Panicking everytime you heard foot steps down the hall thinking it was him. It was over an hour later when you jumped as the heavy lock on your door opened with a loud bang revealing a calm looking Henry standing beside a sympathetic looking officer he shooed them away.

"Give us a minute" he didnt take his eyes off you as he stepped into the room seemed to take over the small space you shuddered backing away from him sending a pleading look to the officer who ingored you and left.

"Well pet have you got that out of your system now?" He said crossing the cell in large strides his suit jacket hung over one arm that was in his pocket. You shook your head crying

"Pl-please im sorry i-i had to" you flinched as he brought his hand to your face. Smoothing back your hair

"Sshhh shh its ok now everything is going to be fine" he calmed you pulling his outher hand up wiping your tears away before for twisting his fist in your hair you yelped clawing at his hand trying to relieve the pain in your scalp.

"You've been a very very naughty girl havent you?" He tugged your hair back forcing you to look at him still wiping your face with his other. It summed him up caring and kind yet brutal and cruel. He grinned a sadistic grin

"I should let you know that im not pressing charges, what kind of boyfreind would i be if i did?" He teased you letting you know he was told your cover story you cried in pain as he dragged you the few steps towards him forcing you onto your tip toes

"STOP! Please Henry your hurting me!" He tutted at you looking at his watch

"Three hours away from the house and were back to Henry? What happened to Daddy? Well it doesnt matter i hope now you realise that there is no escape. You cannot run or hide from me love i have eyes everywhere." He lowerd you back down releasing your hair clutching you to his chest trapping you in a strong grip as you sobbed shaking like a leaf more out of anxiety then anything else.

"Shh shh. its ok little one... i know its been a scary day getting out , nearly crashing into the gate and then being arrested? its all going to be ok, now that you've got this out of your system you can finally settle at home. Ihave been waiting for this little blow up from you i was beginning to think the gun fiasco was it" His words filled you with dread as you began to sink in this was it for you, that there was no way out, he would find you at some point. Rocking you backwards and forwards with your arms trapped at your side he tucked his nose into your hair kissing it every so often.

"Tho this is probably my fault it was enavitable for you to try and run again, i havent trained you properly yet, not givin you the attention you truly need, but dont worry we will start once we get home. I want you to know daddies not angry, no no he's just dissapointed" he pulled back draping his jacket over your shoulders.

"I hope you know that your still in serious trouble when we get home young lady i warned you this morning that youd regret playing up" he murmmerd into your ear as he walked you out of the cell down to the reception he didnt hold you because he didnt need to there was nowhere you could go.

"Mr cavill would you sign these ,I assume your not pressing charges?" Henry looked up winking at you

"No no my girlfriend couldnt help herself, she's like a child in that respect no self restraint. Never thinks of her consequences" You shuddered catching the his unspoken threat looking down as tears of humiliation the officer chuckled as Henry said this sighing his name

"Well she does look distraught, dont be to hard on the little thing I'd jump at the chance to drive one of those myself."

Henry laughed out loud drawing some attention from the others in the waiting room

"Oh dont you worry about her, she'll find a way to make it up to me somehow wont you babygirl" he said winding an arm around your waist pulling you against him squeezing his hand painfully tight. You looked down nodding hearing a few snickers and scoffs from women in seats behind you.

"Now apologize to the officer for wasting his time baby." You scowled up at him being met with a shit eating grin opening your mouth to tell him to fuck off thankfully you were interupted.

"Oh now thats not nessasary saving a tiny thing like her from herself isn't wasting time ..I'm glad I could help" Henry smiled at you kissing your cheek feeling please with himself.

"Now isnt that nice sweety. He's happy to help us" you gave a jerky nod as Henry finished the paperwork.

"I will have someone collect the car today" he called over his shoulder as he forced you along side him stopping before he got out of the door.

"Oh baby Wheres your shoes?" He asked smirking at you knowing damn well that he hasnt got you any, you felt the eyes of the other people on you as he shook his head picking you up cradling you recieveing a few awws and judgmental stares from the women. Unable to take it anymore you tucked your face into his neck crying.

"Im sorry please im so sorry i wont do anything like this again". He sighed pushing throught the doors and made his way to the car park climbing into the back or a range rover holding you in his lap as the car began moving.

"Its a little to late for sorry baby, daddy has to punish you for being an extremly naughty little girl. Stealing and damaging daddies car running away and getting arrested lying to the police? What kind of daddy would let you get away with all that?" You shuddered mind wandering what he had instore for you, not just for punishment but the training he mentioned in the cell you squirmed in his lap as you mulled it all over feeling sick to your stomach.

[joongzone-blog]

ateez reaction to you playing a viagra prank on them (m)

anon: omg love your writing. can i please request an ateez reaction to you playing a viagra prank on them and if you could please make it a little long. i just think that’ll be hilarious.

HONGJOONG:

he’d be in the hotel room next door to yours, sharing a room with yunho when he starts to feel it getting hard

he doesn’t know why it’s getting hard, he wasn’t thinking of anything besides wanting to go to sleep but it jolts him awake

luckily yunho left the room to go join san and wooyoung

u, on the other hand, are wondering if it had set in yet so u look it up and when u realise it should kick in by now

u facetime him just to mock him

he immediately picks up

u put on a smirk and ur suddenly more annoying than usual according to hongjoong

“hi joong. how’s it going?”

he tried to hide it but u know whats going on...he just...doesn’t know it was u

“nothing much” he says “just y’know...making beats on my laptop...haha!”

“oh? that must be hard to do huh?”

“not really, it comes naturally to me now. why are u still awake?”

“it’s just...so...hard...to fall asleep and it’s so frustrating...my temper just...keeps growing...because of it...”

“stop that...why are u talking like that u weirdo” 

ur laugh suddenly can’t be contained and u just burst out in cackles, throwing the phone on the bed 

“ya! why are u laughing at me!”

once u managed to get urself together u grabbed ur phone and told him the prank u pulled on him while u and the members went out to eat earlier

his face fumes!!!

“ya! was this u?” he angrily scoffs “why would u pick me as ur victim?!”

“ur easily deceived joong. plus i saw it at the pharmacy counter yesterday and thought it’d be funny”

“im gonna beat ur ass when i see u tomorrow”

“come to my room we’ll figure out what to do with it”

“it would get flaccid seeing u, no thanks”

and u start bickering back and forth for a good three mins before joong groans into his pillow

“ya! i hate u so much!!!”

SEONGHWA

omg this baby would be so shy about it

u gave it to him it in replace of headache relief pill...but he doesn’t know that bc seonghwa doesn’t check

he’ll be on a vlive with yeosang later on when it starts getting hard

ur watching their vlive from the other room and ur just waiting...for something to happen...

when it gets hard all of a sudden his face contorts

“omo...”

and he’d look down but then immediately look up bcos he’s realising on live broadcasting

yeosang b like “what? what’s wrong?”

and seonghwa would be so speechless he’d look back and forth from yeosang to the camera 

nobody can see it bc of the filter but he is blushing like crazy

“hyung, stop fooling around, what’s wrong?”

and u watch as seonghwa whispers something into his ear, u in ur room quietly laughing to urself but also thinking of how to apologise to seonghwa bc u know he doesn’t handle pranks like these well

yeosang then does the same as seonghwa and looks back and forth from him and the camera

yeosang be like “ok everyone we have to go! it’s getting late goodnight!”

but the time is only 8pm and u just laugh as u turn ur phone off

from ur room u can hear them panicking about what to do, and seonghwa yelling and yeosang yelling back

YUNHO

big baby would also be so shy!!!

this prank would be urs and wooyoung’s idea

u would be accompanying him and the members on the set of an mv filming

u would be watching yunho and wooyoung being goofy behind the scenes in front of the cameras

and then yunho’s face suddenly changes...like in the gif...god

and wooyoung is smirking and being touchy feely with him bc he knows whats up

“yunho, is everything ok? ur not feeling sick are u?” he teases

“get y/n...i need her...like now...wooyoung please...”

wooyoung laughs at him as he goes over to u and tell u that ur boyfriend wants u

“baby what’s wrong?” u say, acting like u dont know whats wrong

he looks around, his face blushing bright red, to make sure nobody is looking at him

“i...”

“yunho...tell me what’s wrong”

“babe i-i have a...b-boner...”

u cant help but laugh and he quickly covers up ur mouth while backing u up into somewhere secluded

“shhh!!! please!!!”

“how’d u manage that huh? what were u thinking of huh?”

“literally nothing! idk why i just got it...god it hurts...what do i do?”

u put ur hand between his thighs knowing u two are alone and u squeeze one of his thighs lightly

“we could help it a bit? there’s an unused room down the hall-”

but before u can even finish it yunho grabs ur arm and dashes through the hall with u

“please, i just want it gone, i cant be having a boner on an mv, i’d get clowned by atiny”

YEOSANG

i think he’d either be the most calm about it or be the complete opposite and freak out 

but let’s stick to the most calm since that’s more his personality

u would pull the same prank on him like u did with seonghwa, making him think it was a headache relief pill

he’ll be in the middle of dancing with the members when all of a sudden...

he’d be like: and i...OOP!

he’d try to get through a few minutes dancing with it bc he thinks he’s gotten a random hard-on and thinks if he focuses on something else then it will go away

but not with viagra

when he realises its not going down he’d excuse himself to the toilets 

he’ll sit in a cubicle and wait for someone in there to leave before taking off the lower half clothes and touching himself

he wants it to go away because he has no time to be embarrassed

he just wants it to go away and he’s panicking because he’s been touching himself for god knows how long and he cant feel himself getting close

so he texts you as a last resort

yeosang: babe

you: yes?

yeosang: i really need a big favor from you

you: hm...depends what it is...

yeosang: baby can you touch yourself and let me hear you?

you: oh? you’re horny?

yeosang: i wasn’t but i just got this hard-on and i went to touch myself but nothing...

yeosang: i know it’s late but i panicked, im sorry...oh god, you really don’t need to, it’s okay don’t worry

YOU are calling...

SAN

cute baby boy would so laugh the fact that you and yunho had plotted to pull this prank off so san wouldn’t sleep tonight

he’d just laugh at himself as he watches it get harder and harder in the shower

“oh my god! what is this!”

cackles and cackles, his cute laughs everywhere

yunho is sitting in their shared room on his phone and all he can hear is san yelling and cackling at himself in the shower

he knows what’s up

“yunho! i got a boner!”

yunho laughs so hard at how easy it is for san to just tell him these things

“pretty sure a little birdie and i slipped something in your americano this morning to get back at u for the shampoo prank but that’s none of my business!”

san laughs so hard he nearly slips but thankfully he’s okay

he’s just . looking down at himself . laughing

he isn;t surprised that yunho pulled this off but you? his own girlfriend? would betray him like this?

he peeks out from the shower curtain and grabs his phone thats sitting closeby and he starts to call you

when u pick up u are welcomed to the sound of san’s high pitched screaming

“ya! i can’t believe how much of a snake you are! do you know what you did to me? cause im staring at it right now and it hurts! it’s funny but what if this never comes down in the morning! how am i supposed to sleep on my stomach when this...thing...wants to sleep with me! ya! you’re dead tomorrow!”

san doesn’t talk about anything else for the rest of the night except for ways to get rid of his hard-on while yunho is fast asleep

MINGI

omg another big baby that would both be shy and be dramatic about it

u pranked him earlier and now u and mingi are baking something together for yeosang’s birthday that’s coming soon

he’s whirring mixture when it starts to get hard and he immediately shuts the machine off

he takes a big deep breath because he’s not sure just how on earth he has managed to get a boner in the middle of baking

he tries to push it down but that!!! hurts!!!

he shrieks and u ask him whats wrong

he ushers you away, telling u nothing is wrong

but u have a faint idea that maybe it’s the little viagra pill u slipped into his drink earlier

mingi can’t take it no more bc it gets harder and harder the more he tries to ignore it

he’s quiet, silently inching behind you before you feel it pressing against your back

hm, you think

“babe. i’m not sure what’s going on but it’s stressing me out.”

“but we’re baking”

“i know but if i keep going the others are bound to see it and i, for sure, know they’re going to clown me”

“the cupcakes are gonna burn baby, you’ll just have to wait”

but he’s a big baby and he just whines over and over, whimpering as it gets even harder and warms his stomach

it makes you laugh so hard but you enjoy toying with mingi 

you love seeing him be so helpless and under your control

“baby can’t we just pause the oven and resume it when we’re done?”

WOOYOUNG

i see him having the same reaction as san but more exaggerated except because of the situation, he’s more collected about it:

u thought it was funny to drop one in his coke while u were eating out with the members

on the drive home the members are all fast asleep in the van except for you and wooyoung

you because you were reading a really cool book and wooyoung...well because he’s been trying to hide his hard-on since it started getting hard

you’ve been noticing how often he’s been changing positions with his legs and it started to irk you a little now because you just want him to tell you that he’s hard without getting shy

“babe, if you’re going to keep hiding your hard-on from me you might aswell just sit with the driver so i can’t see”

“how...how did you know?”

you laugh to yourself putting your hand between his thighs and rubbing it 

wooyoung is hot and absolutely not collected but he stays quiet because he’s with his members and they’re all asleep

you unbutton his jeans and wooyoung gets even more hotter bc ur hand presses against his throbbing hard-on

you rub it, just to see his reaction and the way he closes his eyes pleases you

but then he opens them quickly, realising where he is

you laugh at him and punch him jokingly, “relax, i’m not going to jack you off while the others are here”

and wooyoung groans but he knows ur right and besides, it’s much more fun when u two are alone

JONGHO

omg what a sweet boy!

[serahsanguine]

School, Sex and Subterfuge NC-17

Chapter 9 of?

part one, part Two, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8,   AO3

tagging @today-in-fic @skullsmuldon @foxystarbucks @baronessblixen

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Notes; im so sorry this chapter has taken so long to get out i have struggled quite a bit over last few months with depression, writer's block and my three kids. I would make one thing very clear i will never ever leave a story unfinished i have read a story where this has happened and it annoyed me so much. It may months or even years to complete but i will always finish a story this goes for both long-running stories I have.

on a lighter note, I have many many ideas for this story some i really think you will enjoy :)

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Chapter 9; An Answer? 

Mulder knew she was going to be confused but he certainly didn’t expect her to run out on him, maybe a slap or some hateful words but not this. This is something he didn’t not know how to deal with, the confusion of not knowing either way. This is when he truly realized he had hurt her a lot more than he thought and his actions of past events coming back to haunt him. How could he be so stupid?  

He let everything go, his whole heart poured out in words, he was willing to let her in, he had let her get this close. He sat down on the closest seat he could find, the emptiness of the room hitting him like a freight train. He could hear people scuttling about outside the office door. He looked around at the books, the certificates, the countless women he had brought back to these four walls. The memories they had, the stories they could tell but not one of them meaning anything to him in reflection to the memories he had of Dana Scully. The minutes ticked by and silence fell upon the room once more.

*********************************************

Scully ran and ran her heart racing, blood pumping, breathing fast and uneven. She flew past people, whizzing past the gardens, cars and buses. She ran until her legs could not run anymore. She was in shock, he said I love you, and he wanted to start over. She stopped a couple of miles from campus next to a small lake, the water reflecting the moonlight in all directions, the sun had set and the air was warm. There was peace and silence in the air all around her. The nightlife chipping and chirping as small bats flew above her.

She stared into the open water her mind fogged, her heart bleeding. Could she start over with him? Could she love him? Was she already in love with him? Was Missy right all along and she cared for him deeply? She started walking back to her dorm. The question running over and over in her mind and the answers nowhere to be found. She was torn in two her rational side saying no, but her mind screaming to let him in.

The Next Day.  

She still hadn’t made a discussion on what she was going to do she needed to talk to someone, rationalize it in one way or another. She took Serah out to dinner somewhere different, somewhere she won’t be seen by him. It was a small restaurant, quiet, even for the dinner rush hour. With homemade food from starters to desserts, plus it didn’t cost a lot either. They both sat in the corner booth with a window overlooking the garden and cobblestone road.

Scully explained in a shorter version of everything that happened and Serah just sat there and listened.

Serah took Scully’s hand and clasped it inside her own. “What are you going to do?”

���I don’t no Serah, the rational side of me has a bunch of issues,” She looked over at her friend and she just nodded and let her continue.“At the end of the day, he still is my professor, he's older than me.”

“Oh, come on Scully. He may be older than you but not by much it’s only 8 or 9 years and it’s not like your a child, your a beautiful woman with her own mind and age is just a number baby.”

“I suppose you’re right but what would Ahab think? Let alone, my friends? Present company excluded. Should I transfer classes, or just quit going?”

“Wooo, wooo, wooo. Let's answer them one at a time”

“I don’t know what your father would think but if he loved you and could see you were clearly happy with Mulder then I suspect he would be happy too. If your friends can’t see that you are happy with him you don’t need them in your life.  And to answer the last two questions is an unequivocal no. If you were to listen to your heart what would it say?”

That was the question wasn’t it what would her heart say, he was amazing everything about him, his intelligence, his heart and soul, certainly his looks. And come on he is mind-blowing in bed he knows how to treat a woman and make feel her on top of the world. She blushed at that thought.

“If he means that much to you you should at least email him or go to his office.”

Scully looked at her friend with a curious look “Did I say that out loud?”

“Yes dear you did,” Serah said sarcastically smiling from ear to ear.

She blushed hard when she thought about what she said about Mulder in bed. She laughed it off.

“Maybe I will.”

“Humm.”

“Talk to him that is; see where we go from there.”

They both finished up the lunch grabbing their things and headed towards their next lecture.

Several hours later  

It was getting late and many of the students had gone to either the dorms or out into town. Scully stood there at Mulder's door anxiously hesitant to knock, she could see his shadowy figure walking back and forth across the room. Several minutes passed, she was lost in her own thoughts when she lifted her hand to finally knock, he opened the door bowling into her sending papers everywhere.

“Shit I’m sorry,” he said before even looking at who he had run into. She started helping to pick up the papers.

“It’s ok, it was my fault,” she said sheepishly ad he looked up at her and their eyes locked, both frozen in there place.

“Dana.” He said matter of fact.

“Fox.” She replied in the same manner.

He picked up the last of the sprawled papers “Come in.”

“After you.”

They both stepped into his office shutting the door behind them. He placed the papers on the nearest surface and walking through to his private office where they couldn’t be seen.

The atmosphere was tense, so tense you could cut it like butter. The only noise in the room was the gulp of air from the water container and the hum of people chatting walking by. They both stood there not saying a word if a pin were to fall you could hear it shatter around the corners of the room.

She had a whole speech prepared, why they were not good together. What would happen if they were to get caught? But standing in front of his presence she lost all rational thought. Her stomach was in knots. Her heart hammering in her chest, her hands clammy, her mouth dry. But it despite all that she was the one to talk first.

“I love you too,” the words just poured out of her mouth her brain finally caught up with what she had spoken.

His face was in shock but was the kind of shock when someone is happy. She stuttered when she realized what she had said. She went to say something, but secretly she said fuck it, she deserves to be happy and damn to the consequences, at least for now. If something were to happen further down the line they would cross that bridge when they came to it.

She ran to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, her legs around his waist and kissed him with such force they both toppled to the floor with her on top. He hit the ground with an ugh but they both started laughing hard.

************************************

He was hurt but didn’t care, she had said the words back to him, and he was over the moon. He touched his lips to hers, his hands in her fine silk hair. She pulled away and asked,  

“Why me? Out of everyone, why me?” he looked into her eyes with such clear and understanding and such force without hesitation.

“You’re beautiful, so quick-witted and funny, you keep me on my toes always surprising me. You laugh is infectious and you smile lights up the whole room. You...are my friend, and you told me the truth. Even when the room is full of people, you are my constant... my touchstone. "

Her smile meant everything to him and he didn’t expect her to say anything back not quite yet anyway.

He kissed her neck her body started grinding on top of his, he felt his erection grow underneath his trousers and felt the flush of her skin against his own. His hands sitting on top of her t-shirt just above her hips.

“Mulder please…”

He lifted her top above her head and discarded it on the floor next to them, soon unclasping her bra and discarded that too. She moved her body slightly and it took him no hesitation to take her breast into his mouth letting the nipple roll around underneath the flesh of his tongue. Her hands undoing the buttons on his shirt. She smiled at his bronze chest as she raked her fingers down his stomach before undoing the zipper and button on his trousers then pulling his cock free from his cotton boxers.

“Fuck Scully” she only licked her lips, God those lips he thought and she smiled a wicked smile as she started pumping him at an antagonizing slow pace. He let her continue until he couldn’t take it anymore moving his hands from her hips lifting her skirt. He sat up just a little bit.

“Do you have any idea what wearing this little black mini skirt and black knee-high socks does to me?” he whispered sultry in her ear. Before moving her panties to the side and slipping his fingers through her dripping wet folds.    

“I have…..Jesus Christ” her words left as he could tell she was lost in what he was doing to her he found her bundle of nerves at the apex of her legs.

Swishing, gliding, flicking, rushing and slowing his fingers bringing her to her peak and stopping before lowering her body every so slightly and sliding his member into her opening. He felt her hugging him, clinging even as he filled her up stretching her to her limits. She threw her head back her wet matted hair sticking to her skin. As she let out a moan of pleasure. She placed her hand either side of his head on the floor.

Creating an even deeper angle he let a growl her lips touched his and he took it as a sign to started thrusting into her, her tiny body matching his pace, her naked chest pressed up against his hot flesh. With the sound of their moans and skin slapping skin and the smell of sex clinging to the air.    

“Mulder, I’m so close.”

“Me to let go,” and she did with the force of the world-shattering around her. He moaned right along with her, the height of pleasure exploding in there bodies at the same time.

After a few minutes, they lay spent half-naked on his office floor. He looked down at her.

“Next time I’m taking you to dinner first and make love to you somewhere other than my office floor”

“Maybe you’re apartment?”

“It’s definitely in your future, ” he smiled.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“I hope you do,” he said before holding her close giving her one last hug before helping her up off the floor and finding her clothes. After they finished getting dressed and looking presentable. He looked at her and asked, “so dinner?”

“I didn’t think you meant now?”

“No time like the present," he smirked.

He left the office first and she soon followed slipping into his car hoping no one saw before he drove her to the restaurant for dinner.  

***************************

A MASSIVE HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERY ONE!

[dianapana]

SasuHina Month Day 2- Vampire

Hey guys, I'm back with day 2 woopwoop, i know they are kinda posted close one to the other, but i wanna catch up to the day that i should be at and as i said im on the road most of August so when i gind time and ok internet connection i wanna try to upload. Also fun fact, i chose May 26th cuz here where i live, Transylvania, that day is Dracula day so i thought it fitted nice with the prompt. ANYWAY i hope you enjoy ~Love Dia

♡•♡•♡

Every year on 26th May for the past 8 centuries people of Konoha go to the Hyuuga mansion to pray for the souls of all the lost. Not the dead, but those that are missing. They came to the mansion weep and tell sad stories about people that have mysteriously disappeared that year. They pray for those souls and ask the Gods to be kind to them in the following year. The tradition started when people of Konoha decided that all those people go missing because of a curse that started on the 12th century, the first missing person being the first Hyuuga princess of that time. This tradition happens of the anniversary of her disappearance.

In the Hyuuga mansion there is an glass coffin in the middle of the study room where the most life-like doll of Hinata, the Hyuuga princess lays. There is a small gold plate that tells the doll's story how it was made as a gift for Hiashi, the first king and Hinata's father for what would have been the girl's 21rst birthday, 7 months after she went missing. The doll is the oldest object in the whole village and also the most valuable one. Everyone always talkes about the doll, about its beauty and the sad story behind it and about the curse that it somewhat represents. But actually there are very few people that know the tale behind the “doll" and the missing people.

The Hyuugas do not know the truth, not even Hiashi was aware when he was alive all those years ago, they do have a but more information than the general public but they believe the doll to be the embodiment of evil since many of them have walked around the house in the middle of the night to find the glass coffin empty. These stories of the doll being haunted have not left the Hyuuga household in order not to panic the people.

The only ones to know the truth are the Uchihas, a clan so old and with such morbid past that the village do not dare speak their name. They all believe the clan to be dead, but the Uchihas live and thrive in the middle of the forest. They all know about Hinata and all the missing people over the past 8 centuries because they have been alive to see it all happen.

“It's may 26th today.” Itachi says looking over his shoulder toward his little brother. “it’s funny how we don’t have any grasp over time and days anymore but this day always stands out"

“Hn. It is different because it’s the only day all year round when Hinata is later than usually. The people buzz around her today like moths to a flame.” Sasuke grumbles. His eyes are closed and he sits on his back on the porch of their house. Itachi is in front if him watching two newbies beings scolded by Fugaku, his father. Itachi's back is to Sasuke but he turns his head to see his brother.

“Maybe its time for the doll to disappear. You both hate how she has to be there during the day. It has been 8 centuries. The first couple of hundred of years I understood she stood back to watch over her family and their children but now she has little in common with the Hyuugas nowadays but the name. The bloodline has been altered over the years, she no longer should feel responsible for them. Her close relatives lived and died, as did their children, and their children and so forth”

Sasuke gets up and runs both hands over his face “I know, but I’m not sure how to bring this up to her. She’s been doing it for so long, I know she still feels bad for the way her father broke down when she ‘went missing’ I think she s looking over the Hyuugas to try to make sure that no one here tries to turn or eat one of them.”

The day Hinata appeared in their lives is one none will forget, the soft spoken princess was pray to one of their newbies even if Fugaku instructed them all not to prey on royalty and bring unwanted attention to them. The fragile girl just wouldn’t die even after being almost drained of blood after that newbie failed to control his hunger. He brought her back to the house with very little blood in her system since most of it he had drank and a good part of it was on his hands and clothes. The said newbie was punished while the girl was saved by being fed vampire blood. She had woken up almost 3 days later in transition, after that she was treated like a new vampire and taught everything she needed to know. It took her barely 1 month to get used to her new way of being while most took over an year. The youngest Uchiha boy took a liking to her and in less than 1 month she became one of the only vampire that he tolerated.

5 months later, a few before her birthday she asked him to take her back to see her family and Sasuke helped her sneak into her old house only to find all her family in deep mourning over her. After returning to the Uchiha house that night she asked Sasuke to help her find a way to return home without rising any suspicions. That is how she became a ‘doll' that stays all day in the glass coffin in her old house. It began as a way for her to watch over her family but now after so many years its just her normal. Sasuke sometimes curses the day that he compelled a wealthy friend of Hinata's father to take her to him in her coffin as a gift for the wounded family on her birthday.

When Fugaku found out he was furious but the damage was done, the doll disappearing would do even more harm so he could not undo it. Hinata started spending most of her day there doing nothing, sitting in her coffin with her eyes open and not moving, listening and watching everything. The time they spent in those 8 months was more than they did in the past 8 centuries. When she is back at the Uchiha house she does basic and vital things such as eating, washing herself and sleeping.

The conversation between brothers changed to another topic since that one was of no use. Many hours later when Hinata finally returns to the Uchiha house instead of seeing Sasuke for a few minutes before eating she finds Itachi in her room looking tense.

“Itachi? Is something wrong?” her mind going staright to Sasuke, did something happen to him?

“I did something that needed done long ago.” The older Uchiha says and walks over to her to place his hands on her forearms, it started as a sweet genuine act but his hold soon becomes hostile and more powerful, it is borderline painful. “It's over Hinata. No more games. You are either here or you are somewhere else. The Hyuuga house is no longer an option”

Her eyes widens. “What do you mean?” When a few seconds pass and Itachi hasn’t answered yet Hinata whisperes again “What did you do?”

“I fixed the problem. You no longer have a reason to be there, and you being here just for a bit hurts my brother. You can choose to be here forever or not another moment. The glass coffin is broken. There is a man on the run that believes he has stolen and sold the doll. There are evidence that lead to him all around the ‘crime' scene. You are free to be here or to go. If you are still here in the morning it means you can never leave. I've allowed you for too long to string Sasuke along you either set him free by leaving, by rejecting him yet staying here or the two of you can go back to being how you were in the first 7 months of you being a vampire.” Finishing his speech Itachi left before allowing Hibata to say a word.

The next day Sasuke comes out of his room very disoriented, he doesn’t remember going to bed and he usually always talks to Hianta for a bit before that, even if it is one of those days in which she comes late. The moon is on the sky once more which meant he has been out of it for almost 24h. In the kitchen he finds his brother, eyeing Itachi suspiciously Sasuke wants to question him but a familiar laugh catches his attention from the garden. With no word to Itachi he followes the voice, not noticing his brother's smirk.

“Hinata? Why are you here? What about the Hyuugas?” he askes. She turns around, walks to him and wraps herself around him in a hug.

“It’s over. No more doll. I am here now and I will be forever"

[ladymusic600]

Im not lazy just sleepy.

All about Idiopathic Hypersomnia Idiopathic hypersomnia (IH) is a sleep disorder in which a person is excessively sleepy (hypersomnia) during the day and has great difficulty being awakened from sleep. Idiopathic means there is not a clear cause. Idiopathic hypersomnia (IH) is a chronic neurological disorder marked by an insatiable need to sleep that is not eased by a full night’s slumber. People with idiopathic hypersomnia sleep normal or long amounts of time each night but still feel excessively sleepy during the day. They may take long naps, but wake up feeling no better or worse than when they fell asleep. IH is similar to narcolepsy in that you are extremely sleepy. It is different from narcolepsy because IH doesn’t usually involve suddenly falling asleep (sleep attacks) or losing muscle control due to strong emotions (cataplexy). Unlike in narcolepsy, in which scheduled naps may help, daytime naps in people with IH are often long(hours) yet unrefreshing. People with IH may experience improvement with medication; however, medications do not work well for all people or may stop working over time.(it’s like a band-aid works for a little while but falls off and stops working) __________________________________________________________________________________ “SO To Whom It May Concern: I am writing this because I wanted to help you better understand some of the issues I face on a daily basis because of idiopathic hypersomnia (IH) or narcolepsy. The first thing I can promise you is that I hide as much of my suffering as possible because showing it would drag everyone else down. This is commonly referred to as our “game face.” If you ask “How are you?” the response you get is relative to how I feel all the time, so it doesn’t mean the same as when you use the same words. If the response is “Good!” it probably means I am really tired but dealing with it well enough to almost function like any other person. There is also a pretty good chance that it is a flat-out lie. If the response is something like “OK” or “fine” I am struggling and needs your help. If the answer is “tired” I am on my last leg. Something more like “crappy” is an indicator that, if you really care, you need to send me to bed and keep the kids or people quiet or take them outside or somewhere else so I can sleep. When you have IH/narcolepsy, your body usually gets plenty of sleep, but your brain is in a constant state of sleep deprivation. People with IH/narcolepsy carry a significant amount of sleep deprivation which only gets worse over time because sleep doesn’t provide relief. The most common symptoms of sleep deprivation are forgetfulness, memory issues in general, difficulties with concentration, decision making, and overall ability to think clearly. The extra effort required to focus on the issue at hand makes it very easy to forget about things that are out of your field of vision, causing problems with anything that resembles multitasking. The emotional results of sleep deprivation are probably the easiest to see, though. I am sure you are familiar with how easy it is to get cranky when you are tired? Now imagine fighting off this crankiness every minute that you are awake and trying not to cry from exhaustion. When you have IH/narcolepsy, your head is often a blur of thoughts and instead of mentally lining steps up in chronological order, everything just blurs together, so nothing goes as planned and you wind up being late for things regardless of how important they are to you, making time management difficult.(even though i can wake up on my own when i have my alarm set i fall asleep during or right after what i had to need to or am currently doing) People with IH/narcolepsy may get medications to help them with energy, mental clarity, etc., but there is no replacement for restorative sleep. Healthy people can’t stop sleeping at night and take a pill in its place, and people with IH/narcolepsy are no different. These meds may help some people gain mental clarity, but they still may be struggling to stay awake most of the time. Or they help some people stay awake, but may do nothing to help with clarity and can actually make it worse. A very good friend of mine says: “My meds just help me do stupid stuff faster.” They may provide the energy to do things, but they can take away a person’s ability to channel that energy properly. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter and relied on high doses of caffeine to get you through the next day? Yes, you made it through the day and you accomplished some stuff, but do you remember how you felt all day? How many days in a row do you think you could do that? That is just about exactly how I feel when my meds are working their best. On top of all of the internal difficulties people with IH/narcolepsy face, other people sometimes just don’t get it. As a disabled workaholic, the thing that really gets to me is the way people tend to think I am lazy. I become accustomed to being criticized for not trying hard enough by people who aren’t putting forth nearly the effort she is.  Like almost every one of the thousands of people with IH/narcolepsy I have talked to or read about in the past couple years, I am constantly beating myself up for what feels like constant failure. I have often been told that I just need learn to cope like other people with other diseases do so I can function like a normal adult.  The problem is that IH/narcolepsy lies right where a person’s ability to cope is supposed to come from, so getting irritated with them for not functioning right is like getting irritated someone with emphysema for not being able to breath right.” __________________________________________________________________________________

One of the first questions people ask me when I talk about idiopathic hypersomnia is, “what’s it like?”  The first way I answer is, imagine sleeping for an entire night and feeling like you’ve gotten no rest at all and that you been up for days without coffee. That’s the first “feeling” I experience when I wake in the morning. Inside my body, I feel like I’m running a marathon while I’m standing still. I don’t know how else to explain the exhaustion and pain. What I’ve found most interesting is that, when I talk about idiopathic hypersomnia, few people realize it has anything to do with pain. However, when your body is always fighting to stay awake, it’s painful. Every muscle in your body is struggling to help keep you awake. It starts in your back (feels a lot like tension), and then creeps into your arms, legs, and everything else. Living with hypersomnia has taught me many things — even before I received my diagnosis. I used to hear a lot of negative talk throughout the years, like this for example: “There’s no reason for you to be as tired as you are — you don’t actually do anything.” I heard that from my own family. Hearing things like that not only hurt, but it confused me. Like why would you say that when you know what i am going through… There were so many days when I’d just come home and cry because I knew I had so much stuff to get done that day, and I knew that if I napped I wouldn’t feel any better, but I just couldn’t do anything else but sleep. _________________________________________________________________________________ Dating someone with IH just learn about it and talk to them about it!

[mvlonc]

hello hey what’s good hunnies, i’m rollin up late but uh !!  my name’s maia, 25 y/o living it up it up in the ast part of the world and uh listen i don’t have discord bc i’m a literal grandma when it comes to keeping up with all the new means of being social lmao so if you would like to chat and/or plot?? just shoot me an im on here — i’m usually always mobile & i obviously love to talk a lot !  and i’m a heaux for dramatic / angst-fuelled plots .. just a little fyi … i’m excited !! so anyway !!!  onto the Idiot of the Hour you’re actually here to read about; my darling malone. i have a pinterest board for him  HERE  , a playlist for him  HERE  , his stats page set up  HERE  , and a connections page  HERE  which as you can see is bare as all hell so let’s plot <3

have you seen  MALONE SINCLAIR  since the storm? some say they look like  DACRE MONTGOMERY  but they’re  22   & go by  THE LOTHARIO .   HE  lived in halloway for  EIGHT YEARS  & they are originally from  MANHATTAN, NY . before the town vanished they were studying  BIOLOGY  and lived at  UNI BLVD . most people knew the  CIS MALE  as  BODACIOUS  but i’ve heard they can also be  EVASIVE . for some reason, they feel  UNEASY  about the town’s disappearance.

okay so homeboy here has had it pretty easy his entire life. his dad works relentlessly as chief of neurosurgery in lower manhattan and his step-mom had worked as a prestigious legal practitioner; one of the most sought out lawyers in the state, and later, a socialite. like the infamous philosopher dr justin roberts once said: “six figures, i was only four”, malone was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. while most would assume he’s a straight up trust fund punk, though, he inherited his father’s impeccable work ethic to a fault.

as an only child and therefore sole heir to the sinclair estate, his parents have been on mal’s ass his entire life to give his absolute best in everything he does. health, school, sports, friendships, relationships, the whole shebang. his marks were always near the top of his class, he excelled at his two favourite sports; hockey during the winter, baseball during the summer. but it wasn’t until he hit his mid adolescent years, started developing an interest in girls ( whom he once thought were riddled with cooties ), that his focus faltered a wee bit and good lil o’malley boy started being a teenager.

embracing his lavish lifestyle and all the popularity / opportunities it handed him on a silver platter basically, mal was ho-ing himself around, partying it up with the elite crowd, earning himself a pretty risque rep among his peers. it wasn’t until he met his first actual serious girlfriend that he did his best to tone it tf down. and it worked, for awhile. but !! of course he fucked it all up and even though what’s done is done, he has big regrets. BIG regrets. mainly bc girl went absolutely wild and took a baseball bat to the ferrari his parents had waiting for him for his 16th birthday yikes.

sO after this wild series of events, his step-mom urged the family to move back to his dad’s hometown in halloway, new hampsire. it was within reasonable travel distance for senior sinclair to fly back and forth for work, and the town seemed a lot more quaint and quiet compared to manhattan, somewhere malone could focus better on his studies. no matter how defiantly he protested, delivering as many good points to stay in new york as he possibly could to his parents, their minds were made up and so malone spent his high school years in halloway. of course, he still stirred up his fair share of drama just as he did in manhattan, and continued to party with the best of them.

after graduating high school with exemplary marks, instead of taking the opportunity to potentially thrive in the big leagues of the sports world, malone opted to stick to his roots, following in his dad’s footsteps. he got accepted into halloway university as a pre-med student, studying all the biological sciences, and would be entering his senior year come september... until shit hit the fan and all hell broke loose rip. at first, the idea of living without any sort of authority figure attempting to keep him in line was thrilling to the young man. he took full advantage of this with the rest of his fellow university students, partying it up to celebrate the end of the world. but as the days went on, malone felt ... uneasy about the false liberated situation they were in. 

what had happened to everyone’s parents? his parents? why hadn’t anyone tried to contact them, or come back for them (wherever the adults went)? were they all really left to fend for themselves - had they actually been abandoned? he’s actually pretty pissed at the thought, and also saddened but that’s not something openly he shares with the others. for now, he’s cooperatively working with the group to ensure their survival until somebody - anybody - comes back to take them to wherever it is he assumes the adults are doing the same.

wanted connections ; 1) ok so uh he obviously needs his boy(s), 1 or 2 who he’s pretty dang close with. they travelled together, were each others’ wingmen at one time or another, always have each others’ backs through thick & thin. it’d be cool if their parents had been friends and so the boys kinda grew up together like brothers. 2) also on that note, maybe a fella he’s experimenting with?? bc he’s a bicurious soul, potentially bisexual, so that would be a loAD of angst huh. 3) he need him some fwb / hook up type deals, whether they be a regular occurrence or a one time thing. 4) ex gfs!! i don’t see him having like… a SHIT load of exes bc he tries to stay away from relationships but probably anywhere between 1-3?? whether they be on good terms, bad terms, lingering feelings, etc. i’m cool with whatever. 5) maybe somebody he tutored?? bc while he gives off mad Big Dick energy and tends to think with that head lmao, mal is actually very intelligent. 6) how about some enemies tho. like… idk man i’m SURE there are ppl he rubs the wrong way bc he’s kind of narcissistic lmao. or maybe they think he’s fake. or maybe there’s some sports rivalry or classic case of polar opposites or he broke ur bff’s heart?? the possibilities are endless.

[richpeopleband-blog]

Catch Up

So I’m playing catch-up the past two weeks since coming home from Warped Tour, and one of the things I need to catch up on is blogging. Over the summer I decided to take my social text updates to my personal facebook where I wrote long posts about the days and weeks and actually months I spent on tour. I left my apartment June 1st for a two week tour with Rich People and Tranquility from Michigan. Spent a few days in the midwest then came back east and ended up in Philly for 3 days then literally just left for two months to go sell merch for Grayscale on Warped Tour. I was gone for a while then I got home and everything just stopped. All the friends I made all summer went back to California and Massachusetts and everywhere else they’re from. Even Grayscale. They moved into a new place right before we left that’s just far enough away that I can’t just pop-in like I used to when they were in Northern Liberties. We were living like brothers all summer. On top of each other all day everyday walking around a festival and a bus, sleeping in bunk beds, getting each others’ food, watching each other’s backs and introducing each other to everyone we met. We moved as a unit. We had stressful moments a few times for sure, but for the most part we honestly laughed harder and more consistently and for a longer duration than I ever have before in my life. It was the best summer of my life without any competition. I felt more at home with those guys than some of my closest friends in the city or even Jersey where I grew up. They got me and I got them. A lot of the ways they are untangled faulty belief systems I’ve had about myself and others my entire life without them even saying words. I’ll keep this short and just say it was truly therapeutic. I needed that. We spent off days with Movements and Four Year, and I ended every night sitting in lawn chairs with Jake and Joe and sometimes Regan and John.

I got close with so many people so fast, but we got home and it all stopped. Luckily we have phones and social media and we all chat a bunch still but the close physical proximity to a lot of really great friends just fell off, and I fell into depression. I’m not quite out of it even as I type this two weeks later. Sure I’ve sprung back into my normal rhythm and finally started a new job two days ago, but honestly it’s hard for me to justify getting out of bed lately. I straight up don’t feel like it. I slept until 4:36PM the first day I got home and shrugged it off like oh that’s fine we didn’t get home until 7AM. After that though the excuses have just gotten thinner and thinner. I’m just not really taking care of myself. I usually stay very active and hit the gym a bunch and work a lot, but it’s been tough kick starting that. I went to gym maybe twice since I got home and did a minimal amount of things then drove home. I don’t have much money for food right now so I’ve been cooking tofu or eggs and pasta twice a day. I’m very hungry pretty often, but my funds are a little tight and I’m working on getting back on my feet. I’m definitely eating enough food so this isn’t a cry for help or anything like that. I have enough to hit the grocery store and stock my basics every week. I’m just trying to describe the overall feeling. I get really good news about huge opportunities for Rich People and all of this great stuff is happening around us and we’re about to record next week and we got beautiful new merch made and yada yada yada everything’s falling in place and I just can’t feel it right now. The positives of this are that our show Friday will be one of our best ever. When I feel raw like this I often build up then let everything in me come out when we play shows.

It’s also fine to feel this way. That’s a big thing I’ve realized in adulthood. It’s fine to be depressed. Depression is just a feeling. As a society we spend so much thought and energy trying to suppress certain feelings that we have deemed unsafe or scary. We call it negative and we can’t accept it. My personal truth is that I get depressed sometimes. I had extremely severe depressions starting at age twelve. There were some episodes before that, but that was the first time I was truly depressed and couldn’t shake it all day everyday for months. It was crippling. I was afraid of day-time and light and I was afraid of the night and the way I let the TV consume me. Back then I didn’t know how to deal so we started going to shows and got a rush from that. Then we started bands and started feeling like I belonged somewhere, but I couldn’t shake all the back and forth anger and depression. Anger became my favorite place to go because it beat depression as far as feeling alive goes. In my teen years I tried joining sports teams and clubs and disqualified myself from all of it. I tried medications and combinations of medications and therapy only to disqualify the help. I started drinking heavily whether I was with people of alone at age 15 and the rest is history that you can read about in my other 8 million blogs. The point is I never accepted my depressions even in my mid-twenties with multiple years clean and in a recovery program for years. I stil believed that feelings should be controlled and that “bad feelings” needed to go away. I’ve had thoughts of wanting to die so long and so consistently at this point that I just laugh them off and keep it moving at this point. It’s fine to have some humor and just accept the passing thoughts. Part of me will always be a “crazy person.” I talk openly and honestly with a big group of friends/fellow recovering addicts who completely get me on a very regular basis and I stay in tune with a solution based lifestyle. I keep my feet moving in the direction that I want to go at all times and allow my head to move at its own pace. I’ve practiced the lifestyle I live long enough that the volume on my pain is much much lower than it was when I was younger. Im not cured and I haven’t outsmarted my negative sense of self, lack of self worth, and general fear of life and living, but that’s not really my objective anymore. Just accepting myself and others and my role in this place and keeping it fucking moving. At this point I’m just ok.

[lilietsblog]

GHOST TRICK: THE BIG FINALE

so I finished the game yesterday all on my lonesome without internet

why yes I am perfectly fine and not emotionally compromised in the slightest

enjoy my screaming

IT'S GHOST TRICKING TIME which is to say it's ghost tricking time without internet so I'm doing this in wordpad tumblr really needs an 'import rtf' function >_>

SO from what I remember, when last we left off I was about to try to figure out how the fuck a knitted cap and a helmet are going to help me stop a bullet LET'S DIVE RIGHT BACK INTO THIS FOLKS

I still love how Sissel just ignores the dog's little 'WHATS A HOSTAGE O NO' instead of digging into explaining it

oh thank god the game DOES remember ive read this text before

...oh, I forgot how I did this the last time O WELL

all right, so I remember swiveling the lamp and dropping the hard hat, then when the knitted cap is over here I can swap it with the book and get it on the hook but how did I get the knitted cap over here

aha, he looked away for a moment, the helmet part is done what the fuck do i do now

AHA okay, so now i very quickly cart the ladder back and forth, I think I remember this

fuck, he noticed me, okay don't swivel the lamp while he's watching, swivel it while he's still looking away

I gotta note the 'I don't know why you're wearing my face' part HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

fuck, nope, I can't swivel the lamp back at that moment because he notices it clattering and turns right around FUCK OKAY LET'S TRY TO DO IT WITH THE LAMP THERE

ugh, if only I could do shit during the cutscene while he rolls away >_>

OK I SHOULD HAVE HAD MORE TRUST IN MISSILE HE IS GREAT AND A VERY GOOD DOG AND CAN AIM FOR SPLIT SECOND TIMING OF A BULLET BEING IN THE AIR OKAY

haha, and the knitted hat still hit Cabanela with enough velocity to knock him over I love this and I particularly love his dramatic leg up in the air he doesn't evne know what's happening he just aims to be the most dramatic possible at all times and it's really helping us out <3

'i love knitted hats... so warm, and most of all, so SOFT' <3 <3 <3

god Missile is so good this is pain IS THE DAWN DEADLINE A LIE MAYBE DID RAY JUST SAY THAT TO GET SISSEL'S BUTT MOVING I DON'T KNOW

oh yeah Cabanela's still got broken bones all over I kind of forgot about that

oh ok, looks less like broken and more like just really fucking bruised, becuase in that movement he's put pressure on all limb bones and nothing bent out of shape, so that's good

lmao and Cabanela's just like 'BUT IF I WAS KILLED IN THAT EXPLOSION THE SITUATION WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER' I I don't think it would necessarily work out that way, considering how much difficulty our protagonist was having saving just the professor :x

oh hey we've got our next source of information! should be quite a wellspring if Sissel remembers everything he should ask

yeeep Cabanela you FUCKED UP

oh, the gun :x

HON IM PRETTY SURE THE FIRST PART IS MORE IMPORTANT THE PART WHERE YOU TRIED TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF HIM CORNERED RATS BITE THIS IS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY YOUR FAULT, ALL OF IT

aha, those cases, okay

and Cabanela was doing the thing because of Jowd that makes sense -_- kind of

yep, that one little snag kind of puts a question mark on the whole thing alright, that almost makes sense? kind of? makes Cabanela kind of a selfish butt doing this for his own obsession rather than for personally Jowd but makes sense

ok, the bringing him to justice minister to buy time thing actually does make a lot of sense it wasn't A LOT of time that he bought but it was just enough and that's what counts

oh hey, this guy used to have the job that the blue fake stole? (and yeah sounds like blue guys are just foreigners -_- bc they couldnt find spies that didnt stand out visually or anything)

hum not a scratch, huh regenerating dead body, okay

oh come ON Sissel don't be surprised now that part was obvious from the moment he said the corpse disappeared the meteorite's radiation, okay, quite interesting :D

"it was like a meteorite had struck me on the head" so, has that been a cause of death today yet, because if it hasn't, this looks like foreshadowing -_-

hum, so the gun would have been loaded because he controlled Kamila, which she then wouldn't have a clear memory of makes sense

HI LYNNE JUST IN TIME

arrest her to keep her safe, that actually makes perfect sense IF ONLY IT HAD WORKED LMAO no wonder pigeon guy roasted him for that in the deleted timeline XD

"while he was at it" <3 <3 <3

awwww pigeon guy was friends with him too <3

hee right on top of his striped jumpsuit honestly he looked less escaped-from-prison-ish in the paint-splattered robe thing XD

a present, huh?

awww see Sissel you don't feel lonely and that's what counts

ALRIGHT THEN :D LET'S FUCKING GO :D AND, UH, DO SOMETHING, I GUESS I love how out of proportion Sissel's powers are rewind time, talk to dead people... and move small objects a little

so, uh, Sissel, are you sure there's answers for YOU over there or did you just get into habit of telling this to yourself to feel better

okay well how the fuck did Jowd infiltrate a fucking SUBMARINE like, I just want to know the physics of how this happened?

omfg the bullet had a radio transmitter well, I have a newfound respect for Cabanela, I gotta admit like I already respected him but I just figured he shot the guy out of a desperate 'can't do anything else might as well try this' urge to do SOMETHING but nope he had a plan (which would have worked even with him dead)

wow, and he actually gave the thing to Jowd beforehand n i c e

wow, okay, that's stealthy

aha, and he can totally leave his body and wander around freely I think that was already confirmed but it's nice to know for even surer

wow, okay, what the fuck re: that thing reaching up from below that definitely looked like... something else for a moment there 0.0

aand okay the meteorite is possible to extract from his body I wonder if evil!Sissel actually knew that... or if that actually did anything to him :D

okay, what the FUCK and how many more people are dead now

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MISSILE IS HERE TOOOOOOOO

the phone is ringing, how convenient :D

ooohkay this is tricky

so, why the fuck were there baseball and basketball balls hanging in nets under the ceiling on a submarine ... ... you know what I don't want to know

wait, Kamila can't hear him? oh, right, over the phone ghosts communicate by close range telepathy

aaand this makes the FIFTH time Lynne's dead tonight! or is it sixth? did i lose track somewhere?

AWWWW THIS SCENE IS LIKE AN OVERDOSE OF CUTE

'i wonder what happened THIS TIME' yep lmao

no actually 'i dont remember what happened after that' sounds like evil!Sissel to me, personally

but do you know what this wheel does Sissel are you sure turning it is a good idea

"I just sort of blacked out, the next thing I knew, I was dead" <3 <3 <3

"now it's all making even less sense than before" AND THAT'S SAYING *SOMETHING*

but actually okay yea this does kind of sound like an explosion that killed Lynne and knocked Kamila out

aaand nope I was absolutely correct )=

can this guy only puppet one body at a time? couldn't he have just possessed Lynne and had her slit her own throat or shoot herself or hang herself or something? that sounds a lot more productive than having a little girl fight her I mean, even if he only can puppet one body at a time, puppetting Lynne would have been a lot more productive overall, is there a reason he can't?...

or does he just love to do things in the most convoluted and roundabout manner typical to villains everywhere -_-

"nobody ever calls the dead" ARGUABLE a number of phone calls has been made this night specifically for the purpose of putting our!Sissel on the line

aand okay :D looks like the blue assholes saved Lynne just in time, sort of ...for a certain definition of 'saved'

so anyway this guy said something like 'you cannot possibly comprehend my suffering' so it would be funny if he was just a random dumbass that a bad thing hapened to one (1) time, which granted also killed him, but all the misery since then has been of his own making and he's put every single person involved in the events through worse just over the course of tonight, and simply has no sense of scale, perspective or proportion I think that would be great if the story went there XD EDITOR'S NOTE IN RETROSPECT: the story didn't go there and that was not fucking okay (it's dead women in the fridge again!)

and Sissel can't understand revenge as a concept SOUL TWINSIES WITH ME OR WHAT

lmao Lynne is starting to get touchy about how many times she's needed rescue lately XD

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE WHY CAN'T I REACH FOR ANYTHING YET also, interesting to note that in the 4 minutes ago past, neither Lynne nor Kamila have a core looks like Sissel's interaction with this realm is limited after all, and not only by phones there's v interesting existential fuckery going on here, of the exact sort I ABSOLUTELY LOVE

oh THERE we go 'nobody ever calls the dead' ARGUABLE again and I love Lynne's signature instant-snap-into-hands-over-head animation + pose Good Reflexes

ALRIGHT, FIDDLING WITH RANDOM SHIT WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT IT MIGHT DO TIME ...and that sure worked fast

hum, a random mechanic, alright

oh hon that's a, um, what's the opposite of exaggeration I know this word in Russian >_> over...littlification? that 'restless ghosts onboard' THAT'S ONE WAY TO PUT THAT

lmao that was one odd fate change

alright, found the temsik fragment capsule, I see yay unexpectedly strong wastebucket lids (seriously, that's a whole freaking basketball, there's a reason the nets worked like that lmao)

alright, just watching the cutscene for now, that's fair this guy sure looks like he's going to abandon his entire crew and blow up the sub or something

"farewell, sir" WELL THAT DID NOT SOUND QUITE RIGHT

alright, and we're left in the capsule rather than the fragment which apparently did not have a core of its own for some reason

OMFG THERE'S A LITTLE RAT IN THE TORPEDO ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A RUBE GOLDBERG MACHINE INVOLVING A SMALL RODENT AGAIN BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE BEST KIND BUT ALSO THIS IS NOT HOW TORPEDOS WORK BUT ALSO HI RAT!!!

yeah exactly thanks Sissel! how the FUCK did it get here also I love that the characters DO pay attention to the wellbeing of innocent rats in this game <3

well, you COULD just try to get it to blow up earlier, in the water you'd be stuck but you'd be heroes, or something well, Lynne would go back to her body, Sissel would be stuck :D oh, and the rat would die, that's the bad news

YEAH LET'S SAVE THE RATTIE FIRST if this time the rat is going to be in the way rather than helping, well, I REALLY DO RESPECT THAT LET'S SAVE THE RAT

alright, after some trial and error I DID manage to get both weights in the same position (mostly by luck) and throw off the rat NOW TO SAFETY

alright, this looks promising OKAY IT ALSO LOOKS LIKE KAMILA AND LYNNE MIGHT BE SAFE FROM EVIL!SISSEL NOW THAT'S GOOD NEWS

yusss caring about rats ftw <3

that's what missiles do, huh they're unstoppable i dont know who it is i hear there but Missile is great yes

well, whatever this is, our!Sissel just turned it on maybe it's pumps to remove water!... not that they'll do much against an unplugged breach but

aha, okay, won't move for long

this movement through a machine's gears feels like the purest expression of the game's premise since the junkyard tricks at the very beginning <3

the way Kamila's speech kinda fades in from white? that worries me

...eeeyup

god but I love this game's animation. this little one of Lynne hoisting Kamila up on her back? it feels, like, PERFECTLY balanced with their weights and Lynne's strength and everything <3 <3 <3

oh my god Lynne why couldn't you just... be able to swim not that it would help much with Kamila unconscious but

oh my god Lynne is literally right here why do I still have trouble moving around freely???

oh, found it!

wow, she's climbing one-handed while carrying Kamila, that's some serious upper body strength <3

W E L P

YEP THAT'S SOME SERIOUS STRENGTH THAT SHE DIDNT JUST FUCKING FALL NOR DROP KAMILA

yeeep okay WOW

ARE YOU BOTH GOING TO DIE NOW OR WHAT okay, no, just fall, and not even in the water that's good news

LYNNE THIS IS NOT A POSE YOU WANT TO BE IN RIGHT NOW unless you're actually holding yourself against that shit in the background with your left hand and I just can't see it I guess

...nope, she was holding her chin LYNNE NO

MISSILE HURRAY

okay, the fan thing makes sense

now to swap around a bunch of broken pipes so they don't get in lynne's way, got it

FOR FUCK'S SAKE I REALLY DON'T SEE A WINNING COMBO HERE

aand I fucking lost but at least I got Sissel in position -_-

alright, now with one pipe turned off it actually works out easily it just... took me really long to realize I'd need Sissel for this one -_-

Lynne honey but have you considered: you have no fucking clue what's behind that door although presumably submarine has only been breached in one place and it's this room?

holy shit with the hook Sissel managed to hoist the combined weight of Lynne and Kamila now THAT's a nifty trick

SISSEL FOR FUCK'S SAKE SHE CAN'T MUSTER LEVERAGE FOR THIS BECAUSE SHE HAS TO HOLD HERSELF AND KAMILA UP AND SHE'S TIRED SHE CAN ASK FOR HELP EXCLUSIVELY IN SWAHILI SWEARS AND IT'D STILL BE A WAY THAT YOU HAVE TO PUT UP WITH

aww, someone's saving us!!!

someone who commented on unstoppable missiles earlier, perhaps?

right, the truth... that's still relevant. while on a sinking submarine. yep

haha sinking submaries i have just been playing oxenfree haha

oh wow that's an improvised mechanism made out of garbage sticking in a close range telekinetic field nifty shit

oh oh okay that explains absolutely nothing evil!Sissel is not evil now, or what?

lmao this is getting more confusing, but like... in a very satisfying way <3

evil!Sissel still seems to have SOME amount of powers, at least, though possibly not the manipulating humans ones? but this amount of telekinesis is still incredible

so okay our Sissel's name possibly IS Sissel, but this dude's isn't I'm more confused than ever before I doubt there are three of them, so...

ahh, Lynne making Kamila more comfortable <3 <3 <3 and again, animation is fucking excellent. just, the timing of everything? it's better than 90% of all 3D animation I've ever seen in games

power and time, okay, got it so the dawn deadline IS real, just not for him wait, possibly not for Sissel and Missile, either?

I see he still fell in his signature ridiculous pose it's less funny now, overall

ah, okay, so the time effect is different too it seems to have been the same for Sissel and Missile though? is this a personality powers deal?

I love that Missile is perfectly comfortable with weird shit because as a dog, that's about the amount of understanding he has of his everyday surroundings, too <3

oh, hum so the moment this guy actually 'died' is the moment that blue guy took out the fragment?

wipe out everybody, huh

okay, so the shooting is as we knew, kind of

the first shot missed the mark, huh? quite curious, quite curious stray bullets are known to be deadly :D

alright, so that's a conversation that mostly confirmed what we already knew we have a new ally though, sort of

aand Lynne's empathy saves the day -_- like I said earlier, this guy's feelings aren't like... unique or anything, he just sucks at theory of mind

Kamila!!! so hey kiddo this guy in front of you is the guy who killed your mom

anyway, I'm still pretty sure Sissel hadn't yet introduced himself to you when you started calling him "Sissy" so there's that lead

and Kamila makes herself comfortable <3 I love this Little Lady so much <3

AWWWW THE RADIO THING <3 <3 <3

'and what about a torpedo' WHAT ABOUT A TORPEDO LYNNE THIS SOUNDS EXTREMELY UNSAFE

KAMILA ARE YOU KIDDING ME YOU'RE TOUGH AS FUCK

OMG IT'S A GRAPE SERVING MACHINE I LOVE THE LUXURIOUS FUCK THIS WAS MADE FOR

alright, torpedo room, that works

swap  the switches to get them unstuck!!!

so I'm going to guess everyone there died, too, and Sissel's going to have to prevent that, too that makes perfect sense

that 'understand exactly how he feels' thing our!Sissel and evil!Sissel are really fucking different in this particular respect :D

awww and the girls convince the doggo <3 <3 <3

so, does Kamila know about the dawn deadline for all ghosts, or

oh thank god I didn't need to control that hop this game really has a policy of not having a permaloss option <3

Yomiel, huh so that's his name

alright, and 'Sissel' is an alias ...I'm just going to keep using it for the protag, just to make things slightly less confusing

ah, so this guy had access to national secrets, and that's how he did the singer thing

and he was proven innocent offscreen <3 <3 <3 stylish

stylish animation, nice

didn't help anybody? did you ever try? because our!Sissel sure figured that shit out quickly

welp, the blue guys are assholes but then, they were also kind of dealing with an asshole I can imagine why they didn't think he was reliable to deal with :x

awww, I like the leaflet guy so much <3 <3 <3

I love how Jowd's like 'well, I'm dead, are you happy now' and Sissel's like 'so anyway about that' FUCK death not tonight, not when Sissel's here <3 <3 <3

alright, and this guy's a robot that still doesn't quite he's pretty human-like >_> I am not a fan of the blue guy in charge is all I'm saying also lmao I nicknamed this one 'iron man dracula' i didn't mean it that way but

ah, remote-controlled, alright that 'farewell' was odd then

'your country's use of technology is just plain off' I LOVE THIS

could there have been two pieces of meteorite in this guy's body? okay, nope still!

OH WOW FOUR MINUTES BEFORE HIS DEATH THAT'S THAT'S ACTUALLY EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED FROM THE VERY BEGINNING EVEN THOUGH I THOUGHT THIS BODY BELONGED TO THE WRONG 'WHOM' THIS IS SOMEWHAT MORE AMBITIOUS THAN PLANNED BUT

...okay, no, his 'death' would actually be before the control room was launched, not all those years ago STILL THIS IS THE -EXACT- THING

alright anyway this is plenty of buildup WHO THE FUCK IS OUR PROTAGONIST it's funny how so far absolutely 0 of what we've seen has pointed to that I have plenty of odd thoughts in my mind ofc 'that guy from another point of time' being the prime one as a homestuck, the possibility of there being multiple ghosts of the same person doesn't faze me in the slightest in fact it seems like an intuitive conclusion BUT THEIR PERSONALITY SURE IS DIFFERENT

anyway, :D :D :D

Final Chapter

...aha! so it counted ten years ago after all! dang :D

aha, I see that mascot thing I see baby Lynne!!!

I note how for someone threatening to shoot the kid, Yomiel's gun sure is pointing in the wrong direction AND he's holding out the kid to the side, not between himself and Jowd SOMEONE sucks at hostage taking lmao

a kitty, huh

and then a meteorite, okay

I note the lamp

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Yomiel is thinking 'so maybe I'll die in another way and all this will have not happened, that's a better outcome anyway' isn't he god his faces are Sissel faces and look this game knows EXACTLY what it's doing with its visuals exactly one facial exression of Yomiel's has not matched Sissel's I doubt it's because of lazy artists

alright, so a good plan would be swapping the mascot and the lamp

but seriously, WOW Yomiel sucks at taking hostages this game's animation is always stellar and brilliant, there's NO fucking coincidence there he was absolutely not willing in any way to put baby Lynne in actual danger, even if he pretended he did and it worked on Jowd

anyway how the fuck do we get to the lamp

'we can talk about all this later' ARGUABLE TBH the entire, like, THING is going to change oh man is everyone going to go back to their bodies 10 years ago with their new memories because that's fucking hardcore was Kamila even BORN yet

augh I DONT KNOW I CANT REACH I THINK I CANT REACH ANYTHING WHAT DO I DO MISSILE IS IN THE SWEET POTATO ON THE FOUNTAIN SISSEL IS IN THE NOZZLE BUT NOT THE CENTRAL ONE AND CANT REACH THE CENTRAL ONE WHAT DO I DO

okay sounds like I missed my chance let's try that again

ghhhh okay I think I have figured this sequence out even though I have to rewind again 1) rock the basket 2) jump into nozzle to launch the potato 3) Sissel jumps into the potato and then from the potato to the central nozzle 4) Missile jumps into the potato 5) launch the potato x2

okay, Mino fell into the fountain, not that I know how this can help because AGAIN, Missile can't reach Mino from the lantern :x and Sissel can't do absolutely fucking anything

annd the finale is a cutscene alas

alright, let's try that again...

hum we didn't get a FATE CHANGE registered after dropping Mino might this mean we have to do something right in the process?

AW YEAH THAT DEFINITELY JUST HAPPENED LMAO

are we going to kill everyone by dropping Mino on them instead XD

trick time, huh Sissel still can't reach anywhere Missile can swap two identical lanterns, not that this does anything he can talk to Sissel, for what THAT's worth

aha, the lantern dropped, Missile can move around now, that's good

Sissel still can't do shit though

well, that's the detective's LEG, not... anything else or anything

oh man, yeah... YOUNG JOWD IS A DUMBASS man, even Yomiel isn't aiming at him anymore, he's like 'hey dude are you okay' so the theory that Sissel is alternate!Yomiel is really gaining steam in my head not that it wasn't the primary one all along but

AW FUCK YEAH MISSILE THE BULLET CATCHING BADASS DOGGO!!!

anyway sweet potato?

BOO YAH um or not

OR YES ACTUALLY THAT WORKS

OH MY FUCKING GOD YEP THE LAMPPOST FUCKING MINO

awwwwww and finally the trauma of remembering your death is brought up!!!! Sissel cares <3 <3 <3 (and Yomiel doesn't at the moment NOT THAT I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT IN CONTEXT) (then again I'd understand it if Sissel didn't either but he's the purest being in existence so)

awwww Yomiel is finally going to contribute!!!

omfg lmao "Make it spray as if your life depended on it!" "Uh, I'm dead though" Yomiel is winning ALL the sensitivity awards tonight <3 <3 <3

I I think that Yomiel hasn't done anything yet oh, okay, we're still winning time

holy FUCK Yomiel that was definitely a thing you just did

dear Young Jowd, Yomiel is the one who saved her. Not gods

awwww and he gave baby Lynne a detective's badge <3 <3 <3 he's so good with children <3

so, can Yomiel be alive please :x ALRIGHT, HE IS THAT WORKS

THE KITTY DID THE METEORITE KILL THE KITTY

wait wait wait is is Sissel the kitty is that why he has no idea how guns work or anything else like that that that is truly fucking incredible f y'all's i AND I GUESS IT FITS WITH HIM AND MISSILE JUST GOING AROUND SAVING PEOPLE TOGETHER LIKE A BADASS DUO AND IT FITS WITH HIM GETTING KILLED BY LYNNE'S FIRST SHOT ON ACCIDENT I HONESTLY CONSIDERED A RAT OPTION FOR LIKE A SPLIT SECOND THERE

OMG OMG OMG OMG YE S AND HIS NAME REALLY IS SISSEL

god jesus fucking christ this this fucking game i just im howling this this definitely is a thing that just happened it owned me so hard im so fucking owned right now

yep hes the cat he's Yomiel's cat

aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwww there's a good reason he had identity confusion in all this they WERE confusable as one being for a while

'her' huh?

oh man wow THIS particular part of the story sucks

so Sissel was a girl's name all along? okay

but also, FUCK no wonder he went bonkers specifically about being unable to die

'his powers couldnt help anybody' more like they couldn't help ONE SPECIFIC PERSON

so that bag is a kitty carrier huh and Lynne's miss accidentally killed the kitty

LMAO THE PART WHERE WE ALL THOUGHT LYNNE HAD KILLED THE PROTAG WASN'T WRONG

I DAMN FUCKING REMEMBER THAT CAT JUST FOR YALLS I I ABSOLUTELY REMEMBERED THERE WAS A CAT THERE I JUST NEVER LINKED IT TO ANYTHING I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS A VERY PRETTY RANDOM STRAY

anyway Yomiel that's what you get for playing with guns they're deadly weapons and result in death you're fucking welcome

so anyway who the fuck is Ray

but anyway kitty Sissel saved everyone...

okay but hold on hold on hold on I didn't quite get the implications about the fiancee the first time around WHAT THE FUCK CAPCOM i was just recently thinking how fucked up it was that I remembered the last name of Polly Jenkins, just because of how much her brief story shook me

and uh I think is that also the implication here because that's not fucking okay

anyway so did Yomiel die as the result of that or nay bc that looked fucking deadly if not instantaneously so

god but this ffucking game

this fucking... game

oh Missile I'm pretty sure YOU are going to see HIM alright lmao wasn't Jowd taking him home

but also damn the original events of these ten years, as remembered by - a dog and a cat - Detective Jowd and Kamila (but not Alma, who never was brought back to life directly) - Lynne - Cabanela - the medical examiner - the minister of justice AND NO-ONE ELSE ...wait, no ALSO THE GUY FROM THE FUCKING PARK ...yep that's a thing we're doing

so another important thing is that the rock star kid is going to be okay and the curry guy, too nothing bad happened to them in this timeline, right?

ALRIGHT HI RAY WHAT/WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

(right now my bet's on 'a rat')

oh, Sissel also killed two people tonight, that happened

lmao and in this version of evens Missile died in the presence of Temsik

omfg and Ray is alternate!Missile this is fucking amazing <3

lmao his ghost aged and lost its powers?

also the dawn deadline was a lie he just wanted to get Sissel's butt moving I FUCKING KNEW IT

I love how Sissel's just "I DID WHAT" even though he's been doing that all evening this time around too

yup doggie's a fucking liar the only real time limit is the lifetime they would have had if they were alive huh damn

but seriously I called that before I started this section of the liveblog even if I think I never actually made that post 'what are the odds Ray is a fucking liar' I don't think I ever wrote that I kept getting distracted but yep I fucking called this

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART GOD I AM ;U; THIS DOGGO

anyway one participant of the events who definitely wasn't born yet 10 years ago is indeed Missile 0.0 how's that... gonna work...

but I do love that just... the justice minister, of all people, is also going to be in possession of those 10 years

OH MY FUCKING GOD LYNNE IS ABOUT TO HAVE A FUCKING HEART ATTACK I KNOW THERE'S NO GUN BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

KAMILA WHAT THE FUCK DON'T FUCKING DO THAT THAT'S ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING

aawwwwwww IT WORKED THIS TIME AROUND

'nice to meet you' OH BOY OH BOY I GET HOW IT WORKS NOW I THINK ...uh, I'm not sure how Lynne knew to flee from the junkyard then, but either way it looks like they're only getting back their memories at the PRESENT and that's why Kamila didn't fUCKING KNOW AND REMEMBER WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH DOING THAT JUST NOW

LMAO SOMETHING'S GOING TO EXPLODE TONIGHT

oh, nevermind, it's not that yet :D but it really does sound like it's going to :D right... about... dawn? :D

aww Jowd actually carries toy badges with him everywhere <3 <3 <3 'child handling tools'

still a kitten, huh yeah, that whole Temsik thing :D

aww, and here's her, all alive and everything

SO BIG MEMORYSPLOSION PLEASE

(at dawn) (it's fucking coming that's my headcanon and you can't beat it) (a bunch of people are going to become really fucking traumatized tonight)

hey!!! Missile!!! Cabanela brought him, huh

so, what's up with Yomiel, anyway

COME ON SISSEL MAKE NICE WITH MISSILE HE CAN'T CLIMB UP THERE

that guy's imitating Cabanela lmao

Memry <3 <3 <3

very best customer, huh

AWWW ITS THIS GUY HI GUY YOU'RE OKAY NOW WITHOUT YOMIEL TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU'RE JUST FINE

hah, and these two

.............................................yup. they died

'the indescretions of a minister perhaps?' I LOVE THIS FUCKING LADY I LOVE HER I LOVE HER

ah, these two what deal is it this time

the little rock sinter guy!!! yeah!!!!

hi medical examiner guy <3 guess you're not doing medicine after all huh

HI LEAFLET PARK GUY YOU ARE STILL CUTE

HI BAILEY

oh man oh man Yomiel :D hey are talking about Yomiel :D

SHOW ME HIS FIANCEE YOU COWARDS

lmao he's the painter this time even the robe sits the same

SO SHOW ME

OH YEAH OH YEAH HE REMEMBERS THATS THE PICTURE OF THE FUCKING CAT AND NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT

YUP YUP THIS IS IT lmao that crane i sure do remember it well it murdered two people tonight <3 <3 <3 kitty <3 <3 <3

aw yeah! in that picture with Missile!!!

[deeeelightfuldee]

surveys 053.

do you sing in the shower? oh every single time. Its something I look forward to. 

do you think money makes people happy? As someone who currently relies on birthdays and holidays as her income, I can tell you it would relieve a bit of stress from me to even have like 100 bucks a month.

what's your relationship status? single.

what time is it? 12:25 am

what emotion are you feeling right now? I’m all over the place. Tonight Kile and I were messaging back n forth in a consistent manner which we haven’t done in a long time. Things were a bit romantic, which was extremely hard for me to deny participation in, and then it ended with me saying bye. boy it is hard to let go of him

do you have netflix? I do.

have you ever traveled outside your home country? no. Sadly, without a shot I will not be getting, I’m unsure of how I’ll be able to until the restrictions lessen.

coffee or tea? teeeeeeea pls.

shower or bath? Shower unless the bath is deep enough to cover my long self. 

what's your favorite pizza topping? depends on what kind of pizza. For instance, Jacks just GETS how to do supreme. some places nail the pepperoni, or fresh garlic or whatever. 

what's something that makes you happy? thinking about decorating my own place one day.

do you have siblings or are you an only child? I have 2 brothers and 1 sister

what's your favorite instrument? Piano, cello, drums

what's your favorite food? today it is fruity pebbles.

what is something you are always losing? I am pretty consistent on things going back to their original spot. I suppose if I’m losing something maybe it’d be like a scrunchie.

are you good at spelling? a good amount of the time.

what is one goal you have? all my goals are shifting.

did you get a flu shot this year? Nooo. never have. 

what's your favorite Disney movie? oh boy. i am not good with narrowing down those. are you bored? Not really, I’m just trying to keep my mind occupied until I’m sleepy.

what are you listening to? serendipity, bennys tail hitting my pillow, and my fans.

what's your favorite foreign language? I think it depends. are we talking for the way it sounds? or one that I’d want to learn?

what do you do when you can't sleep? this, read, find quotes, do puzzles, stare at the ceiling.

do you like cats or dogs better? this is one of my very least favorite questions to be asked. why would anyone want to choose between the two? both are so great.

do you have any piercings? Just my ears

what's your favorite vegetable? Potatoes

do you eat meat? Yeah.

what's your favorite season? any of them minus summer. Honestly, probably winter. 

do you still write letters? I love to, but I no longer have anyone to write to. 

what would make you really happy right now? i think a distraction that comes from having a crush.

what's your favorite song? ooo this changes but right now i’m into a lot of blue october.

are you good at giving advice? so, I’m the person you go to for advice if you want the moral, behaved, “you won’t regret this later” type advice. I’m great at giving that.

what's your favorite hobby? Right now, this.

do you prefer to talk or text? That is going to depend on the person. almost always text. But some people.. their voice is just intoxicating.

what's your favorite pair of shoes? I’m going to have to trash all my shoes for ones with heel support. 

how often do you read? (as in books) usually daily, but I’ve fallen out of that lately.

do you have any pets? I have 2 cats currently. I really want a golden retriever, but hey.

what's your favorite day of the week? they’re all similar at the moment, but probably saturdays

are you in college? I’m in the inbetween. Finished 2 bachelors, but am waiting for grad program

are you/have you ever been in a long distance relationship? I have been,

how do you typically listen to music? I use Spotify. either thru my headphones, my bluetooth speaker, the kitchen google, or my phone.

do you like going to the beach? I do so long as I have shade or the water is good to swim in.

did you make any new year's resolutions? I think pandemic NY resolutions were all about survival thru mentally exhausting times.

how old are you? 29 yrs young

do you know anyone who is blind? I do

who is someone you admire? My mom

do you have a good singing voice? when I was a kiddo, preteen, and teen yes. not any longer.

are your nails painted? Nope. I just wanted a break from keeping up with them.

Are you an extrovert or introvert? I’m an introvert but I can behave very well with the extroverts.

what are you having/had for dinner tonight? I had some tacos.

do you ever write in a journal? I would like to begin again, but this is a decent makeshift option

if you could time travel when/where would you go? I mean I’d love to go back to some great memories, but I worry that could be painful beyond repair.

what's your favorite animal? whales.

what's your favorite kind of cereal? honestly my cravings for cereal are for any kinds that I can no longer have. so dont ask.

how was your day? I’m only 44 minutes into it.

do you ever listen to classical music? I do. Clair de lune is one of the best 

what inspires you? learning. learning always inspires me.

how many pillows do you sleep with? I have like 20. OK huge exaggeration. I believe the true number of sleeping pillows is 4 large, 1 mini. 

how many hours of sleep do you need? I typically run off of about 3. I’ve had sleep studies done regarding that. But If I’m getting good oxygen and the temp is coooooooold I sleep so good.

do you have big or small feet? I have pretty average to slightly bigger. 

what's the weather like where you are? It’s been in the upper 80s.

what's the most interesting thing you can see out the window? just the reflection from my TV. it’s real dark out.

does/did your high school have a school song? no.

what month is your birthday in? July.

what's your dream job? the brain.

are you excited for summer? I’ve had a lovely summer, truly.

what foreign country would you want to live in for 6 months? switzerland.

did you have to go to school today? No, no I have not.

win a million $$ or never have to pay for anything again? Never have to pay for anything. Why would that even be a question. do you throw coins into fountains? when I was a kiddo

do you have a trampoline? Nope

what's your favorite song lyric? what if we could put our lives on hold and meet somewhere inside of the world, I would meet you... would you meet me? 

what did you eat the last time you went to the movies? Ill be honest IDK if we even got food.

do you ever measure time in songs? only if I’m in the shower. I’ll be like ahhh I’m 4 songs in.

do you know how to play chess? I’ve been taught MULTIPLE times. have I retained any of them? na.

what's your favorite game? (any type) right now I’m digging skipbo, trionomos, rummykub, and trouble.

do you enjoy traveling? I love it. so much.

do you tend to wait till the last minute? nope. I’m almost always 2 weeks prior

have you ever owned a goldfish? Yep!

how do you relieve stress? go on a drive. 

without looking it up, guess the outside temperature? I’d guess maybe 70. lemme see how close I am. 68!

now look it up - how close were you? woops. 68! two off.

do you prefer digital or analog clocks/watches? Digi. 

do you prefer to shop in stores or online? I almost always prefer online, but in store has its own perks like seeing the quality of things.

do you enjoy coloring? oh heck’n yea do you like to dance? I do!

have you ever owned a horse? my family did, yes

do you take selfies? oh i do. MUCH less now, than I did before. before I used to send kile like 10 a day. now I might take 2 per week.

do you ever listen to music in languages besides English? Not often, but on occasion

have you ever cried from listening to a song? absolutely.

do you prefer headphones or earbuds? so I appreciate how headphones are safer for the ears, but i typically wear earbuds.

can you speak Spanish? Very little. like a few words

what's the last thing you watched on youtube froggy freshhhhhhhhh dunked on now what time is it? 12:57. Im getting sleepy. --------- ok now it’s 859 am. I passed out last night.

do you ever watch musicals? sometimes. it’s not my favorite thing

do you know anyone who's a twin? Yeppp

do you ever get carsick? oh heck yeah, i do love the windows open

what's your opinion on wolves? I really never had an opinion. check back.

when you're sad do you prefer sad music or happy music? sad. indulge me

do you like seafood? Nooo. i wish

do you enjoy going to the zoo? no. i really dont. are there any celebrities from your hometown? uhhhh not that I know of

do you shower in the morning or at night? morning if I was great hair. If I want meh hair, night

do you prefer to work alone or in a group? Alone. ALWAYS.

do you go to the gym alone or with a friend? I don’t go to the gym. < problem solved.

do you like coconut? I like the scent but not the food. <<< SAME who is someone you're jealous of? JV for her abs

what's your favorite place to go out for breakfast? eggheadz

do you still have your christmas tree up? nah. its a tickle early (july)

do you have a favorite type of bird? cardinal.

have you ever had an overnight flight anywhere? yup. plenty of times.

if you use them, tell me 5 of your recently used emojis heart eyes, disappointed looking off to the side, sad face with eyes closed, hearts all over the face, and rolling eyes.

do you know anyone that plays the violin? yep. 

how much money is in your wallet right now? I would need to count

anything you're looking forward to tomorrow? having been done with packing lol

have you ever auditioned for anything? yeah I used to do auditions all the time for plays I was in.

did you have a webkinz when you were younger? No.

how would you describe your aesthetic? airy, comfy, inviting, warm

have you ever been told you look like a celebrity? yeah a couple times but its like not even a tiny bit close.

when was the last time you rode a bus? i have never.

if you saw $50 on the ground what would you do? is there a wallet attached?

do you know how to play any unusual instruments? yeah. don’t ask me. I’m not pleased about it.

are you an early bird or a night owl? kind of both. 

have you ever had trouble understanding someone because of an accent? oh yes. But the more time you spend talking to those individuals who have accents stronger than what you’re used to, become very easy to understand over time.

do you ever go to Massachusetts? I’ve never been but I’d love to go.

do you personally know anyone who is transgender? yeah a few people I’ve met through school. 

do you remember anything from when you were 5 or younger? yeah a few very small memories. 

do you need to do laundry? yes I desperately need to pack and I’m waiting on the laundry for that to happen. 

do you know anyone (including yourself) who actually enjoys math? NOT ME. not even close to me. Kile seemed to like it. 

do you have a favorite poem? the one written for meeeeee

if you were from somewhere else, would you visit your town on vacation? I don’t think i’d think of it, it’s not near anything specific.

where would you spend $100 if you had to spend it all in one store? amazon.

would you rather go to Japan or Greece? Greece.

now what song are you listening to? Gilmore girls, text notifications, fans

what are you wearing right now? shorts and a blue teeshirt. Bout to just be in a short shorts so I can tan. 

any fun plans for the weekend? travelingggggg.

[loremonster]

Slush Pile : Nightmares

While not plot-important, this little scene is something I feel like would go between the current story and the next as Kenny and Dee start breaking more rules to spend time together. I’m still considering it for inclusion in the story, but I don’t know if it fits in just yet or would play any important role to the plot... more likely than not, it won’t make it over to fanfiction, so enjoy this bonus content! Feels, somewhat unsettling descriptions, and cursing ahead! Enjoy!

It’s the right thing. 

She’d told herself the moment she began to feel her insides squirming, the way they churned, as if some living creature within her guts were eager to burst forth. It was not unlike the feeling of being entirely too full, the contents of the stomach threatening to burst up through the mouth when the midsection was so much as bent... but it wasn’t an excess of food she was gritting her teeth against, trying desperately to ignore as more and more coppery-tasting black bile was swallowed back, welling up from places unknown. No, no, there was something unthinking and vicious, gluttonous and oh so hungry. 

It was going to escape if this didn’t happen. She knew it would. It would emerge from the chrysalis of her flesh, and wreak the very havoc she’d come to avoid. 

It’s the right thing. 

She looked up, up to the good doctor Kartwright and her silenced pistol where it hovered a mere inch from her brow. This had been the plan since she began throwing up at home, since she arrived in this un-disastered timeline and became aware that she was the disaster, walking about with both the key to salvation and the disease that would consume everything in its wake if not stopped. 

She’d expected to cry, or be afraid.

Get it over with. 

Gunshots in movies were bullshit-- there was no flash. All of that was edited in post-- and they rarely reflected just how loud a gun was. How the shot could be felt in the flesh and rang in unprotected ears. Even with a silencer, there was a punctuation to a gunshot that was immistakable, a reverberation in the ribs as shocked air rushed away from a point of ignition. 

Somehow, she found herself aware of it. Aware of this moment, and perchance that was fitting, as it would be her very last; her last breath, gasped in at the exact second of the shot. Her last impulse, to twitch upwards into a tense posture.

Her last thought, wondering if she really would continue on as the self that was still alive, or if that girl was an entirely separate existence that she’d never get to know. 

At least she’ll get to live.

-PAGEBREAK-

She awoke in the dark of her room, not in her bed but on the floor. It wasn’t like she’d fallen out of bed-- no, she was upright, sitting upon her knees. Kneeling. 

Her hand flew to her forehead, where she could almost still feel where the bullet had ripped through her. Feel the sensation of skin and skull giving way before her brain had been sundered and her awareness ended in a terrible lack of all. No dark, no light, no sound, nothing.

Terrible, terrible nothing. 

But that wasn’t what was here. No, she inhaled deeply and could smell the familiar scent of home. Her room, her blankets, the wood of the house-- even faint traces of the casserole her father had baked that night, probably not more than three or four hours ago. 

She was the girl. The girl that other version of her had been so worried about-- the one who didn’t get shot in the head, but had instead safely slept through the whole ordeal, believed sick by her parents and left alone. 

Her posture bent, her other hand feeding up into tangled curls of red hair, nails digging into her skull. 

She could still feel the track of the bullet, burning, searing, torn through-- the shock-wave that had gone through her brain and turned her gray matter into jelly.

She could still feel herself dying.

She wanted to claw it out. Rip her own head open just to make it stop, as if she could dig in and scratch away the offending sensation like one did an itch. Great balls of hair were gathered into fists, and she pulled, pulled until it hurt, pulled until she doubled over and cried into her knees. 

Somewhere behind her, she heard her phone buzz. The sound was distinct; vibration against a hard surface-- her end table? That was where she usually left it, but incidents of sleepwalking had left her phone in odd places before. 

Who cares? It’s crazy late. No one is gonna give a fuck whether I respond now or later. 

An excuse, an excuse to remain down with her eyes pressed into the tops of her knees, nose fitted into the crease between her legs and her merciless knuckles refusing to loosen their grip.

It buzzed again. And again. And again. And again. 

Serial murders snorting jizz, who the fuck needs me this badly at-- at-- at whatever fucking time this is?? 

Damnit, she had to let go of herself just to check the clock-- 1:00 AM. Oh. That time. 

Even as she confirmed it, the sudden barrage of what sounded like texts made even less sense. Who the fuck was blowing up her phone past midnight? Sniveling, wiping her eyes with the back of one hand, she toddled back to her bed and flopped over onto the soft surface of her mattress, reaching across for her phone to unlock it and see which name was taking over her notifications box.

Kenny. 

Suddenly, her little episode was near forgotten. She opened her messenger quickly, scared that something had happened, that Kenny needed her and she was just sitting in a heap in the middle of the floor, freaking out about a phantom bullet in her skull. 

[Received, 1:00] Hey [Received, 1:00] i no its rlly late but... [Received, 1:00] idk i just had this fucked up dream and it made me worry about u [Received, 1:00] just making sure ur ok [Received, 1:01] srry if i woke u

She blinked at the small wall of texts, having to scroll a little to see all of it. What was he talking about? What kind of dream? 

Was he suffering from a memory echo as well? Something from that aborted timeline, or one of the dozens of others she’d undone in the past in which he’d taken mortal damage? 

[Sent, 1:01] I’m awake... I actually just had a bad dream, too [Sent, 1:01] Well, not a dream. Memories. Y’know. I’ve told you about it before. [Sent, 1:01] You?

There was a pause, and she worried he may have fallen back asleep, having only been awake enough to send a bunch of texts before passing the fuck out again... but that theory was proved wrong a moment later. 

[Received, 1:03] same [Received , 1:03] its weird, i dont remember anything from it when im awake, but the dreams happen and its like remembering, like its real [Received, 1:04] then it fades away again. its almost gone right now [Received, 1:04] cartman was a zombie? he bit me, u pulled him off me, i ran away [Received, 1:04] i was scared for karen

That was something she hadn’t heard before-- then again, she could barely remember what happened half of the time. Certain things stuck in her mind, came and went, but it was so hard to hold two separate realities in the mind at the same time... and other timelines intruded upon her at seemingly random intervals as well. Things got intermixed all the time-- the only one that made the zombie time-line special was the fact that she died at the end of it, and that she’d been speaking to Kenny for a great deal of it... a first, in all of her mishaps through time. 

She read over his description, over and over, trying to make herself recall. She thought she did-- mostly she remembered Cartman’s bloated body falling down a set of stairs before she went after him to stomp on his fucking skull. The rest refused to remain solvent.

[Sent, 1:06] i remember him falling down the elementary school stairs.

[Received, 1:06] me too. u jumped on him. i watched long enough to make sure you were okay, but something was wrong with me. i had to run. [Received, 1:07] ... i think i went up to the roof? [Received, 1:07] ... i think i jumped. 

That’s one way to make sure you don’t hurt your sister. She couldn’t speak to any of that. She couldn’t remember leaving the elementary school, but she knew some short time after dealing with Cartman, she’d run into Dr. Kartwright, who had given her a cellphone with a message to convince her past self to take action. 

She didn’t know what to say to him, what might help. Did she tell him about her own nightmare? How the sensation of being shot haunted her? It felt like she didn’t have room to talk; he’d been through thousands of deaths, spoken about how each and every one of them was still vivid in his memory. That he knew what it was like to be impaled, burned, electrocuted, shot, stabbed, and many others... what was her single moment of suffering in the face of his much more tortuous state? 

Her screen blurred. She was tearing up again, swallowing over a lump in her throat while her cheeks burned in a mixture of shame and... and... she didn’t know what-- terror? The danger was past, she was alive, and still the horror of it robbed her of her sleep and left her in this empty and broken state, traumatized by an event that no longer existed. 

Sniffing, she typed.

[Sent, 1:09] Are you alright?  [Sent, 1:10] I think I’m going to be awake for a while if you need someone to talk to.

She rolled her head into her pillow, stifling a sob. 

[Received, 1:10] im good [Received, 1:11] i texted to see if u were ok [Received, 1:11] u said you had a dream too, what happened?

It took her several minutes of shoving her head into her pillow before she even lifted her head and peered at the new set of messages upon her softly glowing screen. She rolled onto her belly, sniffing hard and crumpling her pillow beneath her chest and staring down at her messenger, trying to figure out what to say while the tears once again came to a stop, although breathing was still harder than it should have been. 

He asked. She told herself. That makes it worth telling, right? 

She typed for longer than she meant to, going into details she’d half-forgotten by this point, but apparently her thumbs were able to uncover those little things-- the sound of the birds out in the woods, the way the leaf litter had felt under her knees, the smell of the oil Dr. Kartwright used to keep her gun clean.

She painted a terribly vivid picture, even to herself. She wrote of the moment, so much so that her phone had to pause a second and convert into a multimedia message because she’d typed too much for SMS. She’d gotten to waking up, the sensation that still itched inside her brain case.

She stared at it. Paragraphs of description, of the horror that had been replaying the most often for her these days. Why? Why this? Did her subconscious choose which moments to fixate upon? Why did this one have to keep coming back to her? 

She frowned faintly. Was she being over-dramatic? Maybe this was too much... 

[Received, 1:19] pls dont delete anything [Received, 1:19] i want to hear it

HOW THE FUCK DOES HE DO THAT??? Glaring at her phone-- no, no, she was pouting, pouting at her phone, she pressed and held on her great big text-block and hit the ‘select all’ button to copy it, delete it, and type a shorter message in its place.

[Sent, 1:20] WOULD YOU KINDLY EXPLAIN HOW YOU READ MY GODDAMN MIND?!

[Received, 1:20] i know u. u dont think your shit is worth talking about, worth listening to [Received, 1:21] it is. pls tell me?

Knows me too damn fucking well. If this were a spy movie, I’d have to kill him.

With a sigh, the text block was pasted back into the messenger, and she sent it-- her whole episode in grueling detail. 

Reading over it, seeing it confirmed as sent made her bury damp eyes into the fabric of her pillow once more. Something in her was so goddamn afraid, but she didn’t understand why. 

She remained there until her phone buzzed in her hands. Eyes were bleary and wet when she rose up, blinking a few times. 

Then she blinked a few more. 

[Received, 1:24] do u want me to come over? [Received, 1:24] i noticed ur basement has one of those little storm windows, i could slip in thru there and we could hang out

[Sent, 1:25] It’s past midnight on a school night, and you wanna hold my punching bag for me? 

[Received, 1:25] if itll make u feel better, yeah

... well, if he’s offering... 

[Sent, 1:26] I think it would. [Sent, 1:26] Thanks. 

[03713]

good things that happened today:

i got out of bed on my own and got ready for school w/o too much difficulty!!

even so my brother was still nice enough to check up on me a couple times to make sure i was doing ok, and later drove me to school :D he ruffled my hair when we got there and told me to have a good day

i really really tried hard to understand what the ufck i was reading (since im taking classes on the computer) w/o getting distracted, and i was able to focus today and actually learn and comprehend some GEOMETRY shit today

i only have one more thing to do with that same geometry class before im done with it!! granted the next class is geometry B .. but still!!

they’re letting us have a break class in third period again, so we can have art classes again!!!

today was like the third day of it bein back, and my instructor complimented my work on the assignment a lot!! i think he noticed i was a little nervous about being slower and more precise than the other kids, and went out of his way to reassure me by saying my art technique was similar to artists in the renaissance period- “you keep building and building and building on something, focusing on all the little details to make something perfect” and i was like oh man... thank u..??!! i was genuinely moved asdfhjfk

our school was basically like fuck it and faked that fire drill i mentioned before jsut so we could get out for the weekend a whole hour early.....

it really was honestly so pretty out while i was waitin for my dad to come pick me up, like i rambled about it in the tags of that post but it was such a nice day out.. there was just the right amount of wind and it was refreshingly cool and breezy, and it was easy to tell that flowers were poppin back up and everythin was like .. fillin up with life almost, it made me realize how different things have been over the past year or two and how yes, i really am alive and standing here, at my school where i have good grades and the ideal schedule and i have no reason to panic about it anymore, and how im going home to a supportive family and good friends and a safe corner of the world meant for me and my family, how just. wonderful it is to be here right in that moment and to have made it from the darkest period of my life. it was an amazing feeling!! like its hard to describe it... i was just proud of myself for being able to recognize how much things have changed for the better and how i made it, how im still alive. it was so so nice

plus my dad bought me celebratory raising cane’s on the way home from school!!!!!!!!!!!

there’s a website that is an ongoing developing project managed by partners of the seoul dynasty that works as a kind of VOD reviewer (for overwatch obvi!!) that im a beta user of! they have a discord server im a part of too, and the other day they made an announcement that they released all these brand new features a lot of us users have been lookin forward to for awhile, and today i got to see them for myself!!! its quite impressive!!

i got sleepy after eating the food my dad bought for me, like im talkin my eyes were gettin too heavy and i was starting to doze off in my chair, and for a moment i was worried that if i went to bed now my schedule would be all messed up for tomorrow, but then i realized i dont have school tomorrow so i said fuck it nd wen to bed!!!!!!!!!

i curled up with my cat on my bed and i kind of haphazardly took off my glasses and placed them somewhere on the bed.. before i was out like a LIGHT

i was sleepin in a weird position (like quite literally curled up right beside my kitty and right on the edge of the bed) and my brother actually poked his head in and asked me if i was ok hshfgh.. he was reassured when i told him ya .. im just out here sleepin..

i woke up a couple times in the night but it was just to make sure i wasnt disturbing friday too much with my presence, and each time i gave her a lil smooch she would chirp instinctively and start to purr

i woke up just now for the same reason but also so that i could finish writing all this down because while it may not seem like much i felt absolutely compelled to do this today .. i think ill brush my teeth nd wash my face real fast before hittin the hay again

i felt and still feel very grateful for all that i have right now .. like all the basic stuff people tend to take for granted, like food and water and a place to sleep. but i know im especially lucky in that i have a good relationship with my family and friends, i have an education and a future, i have clothes and shoes and even bits and pieces of jewelry, i dont have any medical conditions or injuries, i can see and hear and smell and touch, im safe and happy with everything in my life right now and im very conscious of that fact pretty much daily.. sometimes it feels like i disassociate almost, because very often i take everything in and i stare at everything and all the details. like..

these are my hands, those are mine, that door looks like its made of wood and you remember when they worked on the transition right there from tile to wood, you have a cat in front of you right now that had a whole nother life before she came here, but everything aligned just right so that now shes here in front of you and just about as blissful of her ability to take a cozy nap right now as you are, like its really all sinking in on a daily basis and has been for as long as i can remember, except its not the typical dysphoric-like disassociation people normally experience, i think.. its like a good thing! 

and on that note im grateful that im grateful, if that makes sense.. im glad i can realize i have all this and that i can appreciate it for what it is because the ability to do that is typically missing from most peoples lives until they lose what they have and its too late.. maybe im talking too much about it but the best way i can describe it is like being aware of your consciousness and your presence, plus the presence of every little thing around you so that you realize you are here, but in a way that isnt overwhelming and more fascinating and wonderful. i like it a lot 

im still here! im still kickin!!! and chances are i will be tomorrow too, and the day after that and so on so forth .. i recognize ill have bad days and days in between but im still alive and right now i think thats enough

[thekintsukuroikid]

December 23 2017.

I never wanted to post these. I wasn’t going too.

It wasn’t until I saw the pictures of my family members did I realize I actually did capture something worth sharing, worth working on, worth feeling good about.

I’ve been on meds for awhile, been to therapy too. I’m starting to feel like I have the tools in my toolbox to start making some steps forward. I just don’t feel like I have the self belief to really go for it.

I’m tired, i’m frustrated and I’m finding it increasingly harder to rationalize this fight for myself. I remember being so excited when I moved away that finally I had the ability and the freedom to focus on myself, all of myself, especially my mental health. The commitment to do so has be fraught with setbacks and frustration.

The silver lining to which is the sheer immensity of kindness and love I’ve received from my friends. I question how I deserve it…obviously, and I am always wary of making sure our conversations aren't always about negative stuff. I don’t want to drag em down, or be a bummer.  I always believed the most insulting feeling in the world is being pitied. I’d rather be hated than pitied. Maybe i’m just being loved.

I always need external context, I never feel like I can start or finish or be without some sort of external form of permission, context, and sometimes motivation.

Whether is a girls number at the bar, or a degree on the wall I can never truly feel happy or connected to a moment, or an outcome unless I can work out how i’ve earned it. I almost never do.

What this means Is that I am often left floating, never really sure of myself in any given situation. Never really sure if what Im doing or experiencing is really building on a person or values as opposed to the consistent stringing together of just getting through the day.

Taking pictures is a hobby that feels safe to me, it feels worth pursuing. I think because deep down I have never felt like the main character of my own story, behind the lens I don’t have to be.

I named this blog after Kintsukuroi because I loved the meaning behind the art of fixing broken pottery with gold. I wanted to feel like I could do that for myself. Shine through my flaws. But even if I don’t, you can still fill the cracks with pyrite instead of gold and still hold water. Maybe that’s ok.

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See the key to enjoying family vacations is finding little moments of solitude, of respite where you slip out the back and escape for a few hours armed with a bluetooth speaker and a book that wasn’t assigned reading.  

 -I found a beach chair on the very edge of the resort property, a small wooden fence and a small one person security shack all that separated me from the public beach area filled with local kids splashing and yelling.  

- I played something slow and looked out into ocean and came up with as many lame water metaphors as one could presumably concoct under the circumstances of time and a mild hangover. - I present them here:

  See I preface all of this by saying writing all flowerying and poetic like this is like eating buffallo wings really fast, like it tastes good but is always accompanied with the heartburn of being this self indulgent. It just kinda feels douchey haha.  Ah fuck it lets go. Maybe self indulgent is the point?  When else can you be self indulgent right? 

How do I explain the fear of wondering if I wasted my best years simultaneously treading water, and never actually getting wet. How do I reconcile that? Am I gonna be in my late 30s wondering what its like to feel smart enough, or hot enough or good enough. That seems like it could suck, I mean it sucks now, what happens when it also feels like I’ve run out of time?

Speaking of water...

--

Sabrina Benaim said that Depression is turning lonely into busy.

and I am always busy.

She said that  

“Depression is sleepwalking on an ocean of happiness, I cannot baptise myself”

- I get that. You see it all around, potential everywhere, happiness so close it seems within reach and everyone around you thinks so too, yet you can't submerge yourself in it. You just drift along, walking on the water that is happiness and not being able to get yourself soaked in it. Always staying dry.

-  Maybe in my own metaphor if depression is the actual water?

- I wonder if Happiness is instead the sky you look up to when you’re treading water, concocting dreams of rescue helicoptors or philanthropic Pterodactyls swooping down to save you from your lack of cardio.

-I’ve tried to learn more about treading water by watching people who know how to swim really really well.

Google defines the Rapture of the Deep as an incapacitation that occurs when you dive too deep into the ocean, and no longer know what way is up. It can happen even if you learn how to swim really really well. One way or another some people just sink.

...and some people just take themselves way to seriously...I wonder if thats me?

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January 20th 2018 

AN ADENDUM 

I am  not afraid of the dark. 

Night time makes snack food taste better.

Depression is a slowdance lit ever so romantically by the light of the street light by my window. the glow of the 3:00am on the clock backlighting my stirrings, as a defiance against the convention of normal sleep patterns that’d  make even my teenage angst say dude chill…take a nap.

- I envy people. 

Not because I want some material thing they have, or some accomplishment. -

- I’m jealous of people who’s ears don’t constantly ring with self doubt. I always felt like I wanted to be a producer instead of just a consumer. But I’ve never had the self belief to stand by what I make...or just make. You know how people play hard to get? I feel like I play hard to want. Like all the time. Trying to be happy means sometimes trying to hard and that is annoying as shit. 

 I cannot for the life of me understand how people can just, be. 

I cannot understand how people can get through the day with more hope beyond just getting through the day. I’d give one eye just to have the other see through that lens. 

I cannot understand for the life of me how people know what to do, like ok you’re a therapist how did you know you wouldn’t be the worlds best advertising agent, or a poet or a spot welder? how do these other options not keep you up at night?

- How many people actually try Luge, like what if there is the worlds best Luger (sp?)  and he’s instead stuck in the accounting department fantasizing about  how to ask out the intern in accounts receivable? He could be fucking Luging bro.  

What I’m saying is I cannot understand how people know who to be friends with, or where to live, or who to marry? What if a more compatible partner is out there but she lives in Nicaragua...Fuck dude you gotta go to Nicaragua maybe! maybe the beauty is that out of 7 billion people, out of a million decisions, and happen stances, out of a million one in a millions, you found each other. Maybe thats worth something too? The grass is greener where you water it and all that but how do you know you should be planting grass and not palm trees....or Weed?

How do you know what parts of the tree to prune, what parts can you cut to make it grow and what parts will kill the tree?

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I do try my best, see thats the frustrating part I think. I've tried. I tried to be patient too, To not get ahead of myself. or try to feel like im entitled to feel better just because im trying too.

This has been the most open I've ever been with the people in my life bar my family. Not a single person i've told has reacted with anything other than a reaction of love and care.  No matter how I try I can't feel like I deserve it.  I’m so scared of opening up too much, and stifling how much and how long I talk about the bad days, I lie about how many good days im having because I don't want this to be a burden for them.  I don't want to get left behind because when im alone this thing starts getting the better of me. This is all a bad mix of feeling like I have the most to lose and feeling like I have the least amount of resources i’ve ever had to not lose them.

So much has changed and yet, it still feels like I have nothing to show for any of this. 

I read somewhere once that possession is the enemy of love. 

That you kill a flower by picking it. Instead of watering it where its rooted.  

-

Maybe more patience is required, it’d just be nice for a sign that somethings sprouted, that i’m doing the right things to bring forth an eventuality that this chapter of my life will be over.  I just wonder when perseverance ends and delusion begins?

--

I went into my brothers room to give put back a book. I found his sticky notes plastered all over his desk with like meditative buzz word, he's got books on history of architecture and james baldwin and eckhart tolle with the bookmarks well into them. He's starting his own creative company, hes filled out an application for the NYT. he's doing freelance work. hes already killing it with his company and in school. He is an awesome photographer,  he's a fashion whiz. he's a veritable genius. and I can't get out of bed.  I walked 3 steps out the door today, said nope, and went to bed. I went to bed at midnight last night and didn’t leave my room until 4pm.  Im not saying this in a jealous way or in away that harbours any negativity towards him. I love my brother, even if we are never going to be on the terms I hoped we’d be. To be honest I'm not really interested in the things he's into so him being good at those things don't take anything away from me. Its just insane to me how far behind I feel. I can't even basically function and he's taking on the world. If he were where I am, the world would be robbed of so much of the things he can do. I just feel like i'm robbing myself of what I could maybe do too. and It used to be a thing where If I saw somebody getting theirs, id be like aight I gotta go get mine too and id be motivated and it'd give me a boost. Because I believed in my better. I believed I had more to give.  now I just, I can't  envision any of that for myself. I don't even know what it looks like anymore.

I know that isn’t a fair comparison, I know he’s healthy and I’m not, I know comparison is the thief of joy.

It’s just, I started this whole getting healthy thing to start feeling more like myself. To start  to answer the questions about what I could do if depression  wasn’t at the forefront of every endeavour I chose to undertake, every thought that crossed my mind and every relationship I established. The fact is I feel no closer to answering that question. None. I feel farther than ever. I am the product of such wonderful privledge, to waste those gifts on a disease so self centred and indulgent seems ridiculous to me, yet here I am.

-

I have people walking with me now on this whimsical mental health adventure I’m on. Which is weird, because for the first time I’ve had to be cognizant of where my arms flail, or how much room I take up on the sidewalk. We walk together lock step, looking at that straight lined horizon, for something to eagerly burst its linearity and meet us more than half way.

While I appreciate the company it’s come with the added fear of what will happen if and when I have to stop, to stumble, to catch my breath, and for the sake of time, they keep walking. Until I can’t see them. Until the horizon is no longer something to move forward too. No north star to guide me home. 

See gratitude is anxiety. 

Always wondering how you’ve earned the luxury of a second to breathe, to use that moment to appreciate. 

 Always waiting for the other shoe to drop.