#It's realllyyy fucked up now that i look at it all .i know a lot of ppl have said it but they reaaallyyy gotta hire a sensitivity artist b

[a-s-h-f-l-a-m-e]

looks at the auraboa art i was doing overnight and am unsure to delete it or not but its also the first time drawing any fr dragon well and just in general being unsure about it and them and if i should proceed with it or not or just . yeah . im gonna wait for a response first bc the way theyve handled this stuff so far is not so great

[phantomskeep]

okay so yet ANOTHER big brain move with the queer moms meet lil danny phantom. Because I can't help myself I simply love the idea of this.

fair warning, this contains spoilers for the harley quinn show seasons 1-3 (which btw my fellow dp fans who kind of know a little bit about the dc universe via fanfiction/fan content and are able to watch a show with lots of blood, gore, and adult human: watch the show. its so good. a 10/10 for me). Because while I personally haven't finished it I have an idea on what's going on.

So, we have established that danny's found in an alley near the dead mall by ivy and harley doing some uhhh adult fun. but let's change it up a bit, shall we?

The Soon-To-Be moms just got back to gotham from Edin. but like when ivy takes a walk before coming up with the Big Bad Plan to takeover the world/terraform it into basically the prehistoric age. she ends up finding danny in an alley near the mall on her way back from like a park nearby. she's a bit confused on WHY a barely-teenaged kid was near a known supervillian hide-out so late at night. especially when ivy and harley's return to gotham was via public transport. and when the kid sees her and doesn't immediately start screaming/running in the other direction she's a bit confused. when she notices the kid has a bunch of dried blood all over him and torn up clothes she's now both confused AND worried. why? because in the show poison ivy actually really does care about people its kind of sweet. lady really just wants to chill in a garden and live her best life.

BUT danny and ivy meet like that. she very awkwardly questions wtf danny was doing out and about when injured. he kind of off-handly jokes that its because his parents want to rip him apart molecule by molecule so he's just trying to find a nice dumpster to nap in. this causes ivy to go ham into protective mode, since in the show her entire backstory is her dad being a piece of shit and beating her. so she kind of kidnaps danny like "dude i live in an abandoned mall with my girlfriend and squad come join us" and danny's a lil sus but eventually decides that well, if all else fails he can legit dip the hell out of there at any time. ivy and danny go back to the mall and ivy sets him up in one of the spare rooms/shops (maybe dr psycho's old room?) and then runs down to tell about/show the squad danny. they're all kind of freaking out over this lil boy, asking him a bunch of questions as they do, cue bane walking in for his pasta maker. because this show is on five different types of cocaine.

danny, ofc, is watching this whole thing freaking out a little bit. he's getting ready to run away so he can throw down with bane. but then bane's all like "you didn't get married give me my pasta maker back" and the squad all eating their pasta not-so-gently telling him fuck no then he leaves. so while this is going on danny's trying to put the pieces of this puzzling universe together. Green lady, funky clown lady, lump of clay, talking plant, talking shark, and some super buff dude that would put dash to shame wearing a weird full-body suit? and for all the "revenge" he talked about not even doing anything about it? just walking away? it's not looking good for danny's idea of what "normal" is for the DC universe.

BUT he hears that they're planning on breaking into a museum to steal a Jurassic Park style mosquito to take over the world. that's not realllyyy his style but harley's kinda up in his face excitably asking him if he wants to join them! because it would be so fun! so danny's like "uhhh yeah maybe I guess" while planning on sabotaging them. cause he's a hero doing hero stuff. yeehaw.

the plan in action, however? goes to shit. ivy ends up ditching the squad + danny when the guards start shooting, the squad + danny manages to catch up to ivy, then they escape but barely because ivy tends to panic under pressure.

which is a mood.

ivy makes the eden serum using the mosquito in order to resurrect the dead plant matter in the earth. if anyone else has watched the show; you KNOW that shit looked like some dp ectoplasm. the plant comes to live, walks around a little bit, then turns into a horrifying ecto-monster. it's speaking in jumbled ghost speak/plant speak asking anyone to just kill it already because its in pain and it hates whoever brought it to life so danny smacks it with an ecto-blast, causing the ghost-plant to fall into the barrel of toxic waste. in ghost speak, the plant tells danny thank you and dies. again?

ofc the squad freaks out a little bit about danny's powers but ivy runs out and harley follows, leaving danny with the rest of the squad.

aaannnddd that's all the ideas i have right now but mmmmm im loving writing this. im not gonna say its a fic because i SWEAR i can write better than this. better grammar, capitalization, less random lil notes scattered around - the whole nine yards.

but this is fun and I love the idea of ivy and harley adopting danny with king shark, clayface, and frank being his weird uncles and catwoman being his fun wine aunt.

ALSO I've heard rumors about a danny phantom fan discord? anyone have information on how I can join it? ;)

[tooweirdforyou]

Punishment » Shanks x Reader [ cont. prompt 29 ]

A/N : I am so sorry this took so long to get out. As much as I love smut and reading it, I hate writing it sm but Anyways, here it finally is and I hope you enjoy.

realllyyy hope that rose anon sees this.

small Feat. Benn Beckmann

NSFW! Includes : Captain kink(?), fingering, makeshift sex toy, light bondage, cursing, use of the word ‘pussy’, oral ( giving + receiving ), voyeurism sort of?, gagging, light throat fucking, praising, lots of pet names, etc.

Summary : after spending the day using cheesy pickup lines on your Captain, he shows you the consequences for teasing him.

Part One! [ does not need to be read to read this! ]

-

“Captain-!”

You cut yourself with a yelp that escapes your lips, the stinging pain lingering on your left cheek of your ass.

Although you couldn’t see, you know damn well that the red head held an amused smirk on his lips.

“Where did all that confidence go? I thought you wanted to show me a good time, but here you are, putty in my hands.”

With your face and upper body buried in the sheets, your ass hung in the air giving a clear view of everything below for the emperor to see.

You couldn’t give a response, hands clenching into fists, releasing a quiet whimper when Shanks pinched your ass cheek, chuckling cheekily to himself. “Almost as red as my hair.” He whistles out.

“S-Shut up..” Your voice muffles and he tuts, slapping your ass lightly a few times. “Is that any way to talk to your captain?”

The red-head wasn’t sure what exactly about you right now was turning him on more.

The feistiness you had despite the clear submission you were in, the fact that you were bound by rope and couldn’t fight back, or just the simple fact that he knew you were most definitely enjoying this, him doing whatever he pleased with you.

“Come on, darling.”

He taps the hilt of his sword on your ass cheek a few times before he lines it teasingly against your back entrance. “Do you think this will fit, love?”

You bit your lip at the teasing and shut your eyes. “Why don’t you find out?” You regretted those words as soon as they left your mouth.

His low chuckle reach your ears. “Sure then.”

And so, slowly, he pushes the end in, watch your hole gape and tighten immediately around it. The hilt of his sword was long and the grips weren’t scratched up or rough so it wouldn’t hurt you painfully, but it definitely had a particular feel to it.

“A-Ah-..” you hiss as you process the make-shift dildo/toy inserts into you, hands clenched behind your back as you bury your face into the bed. “Sh..it..”

Shanks whistles at the sight, smiling to himself at you. “Ah, I wish I could take a picture. It looks so pretty, sweetheart, if only you could see it.”

Fully erect cock tightening in his pants, Shanks hums lightly and eases the sword out, only to push back in with a little more force. “How does it feel, baby?”

“Mmn.. not as good as your cock would be.” You bit your lip, taking deep breaths as the sword in your ass shifts ever so slightly.

“You think? You wanna try it?”

Shanks grins and you nod, making him click his tongue. “Use your words, baby.” His free hand caresses the curve of your ass gently, making his ways to your clit and rubbing it with his thumb.

“Hah-! Mmh, I want it, Shanks.. fuck, just give it to me.” You plead, and he laughs heartily. “You ask so nicely, it almost makes me want to give it to you.”

The red-head pulls out the sword making you gasp out, tossing the sword aside with a thud and he leans down to your ear.

“But you see, giving what you want, isn’t a punishment. Now is it?”

*SMACK*

You whimper at the sting of another slap to your cheek, and then release a breathy sigh when he pinches your nipples a bit.

“I have all night long to do whatever the hell I want with you. I’ll take my time, no worries.” He coos assuringly, rubbing his hands over your breasts, fondling them.

“You look so pretty, my dear.” He hushes, hands trailing down to the stomach. Going further, his index finger teases your folds, brushing against your clit and rubbing it, sending stimulations running through your lower region. “How does it feel, love?”

“So good..” you murmur and Shanks chuckles, pulling your body closer to the edge and getting down on his knees.

His hands are pulled to his sides, leaving you in a questioning silence before you feel his hands grasp onto your ass cheeks and spreading them apart, before a wet muscle presses itself onto your little folds.

Shanks’ tongue slides up your sweet pussy, tasting the wet juices you had and was quick to start giving deep, long licks, before burying his face deeper into you.

Moans after moans escape your lips and fill the room at Shanks slurps up your tasty juices, his hands squeezing the flesh of your cheeks.

“A-Ah, Captain!~” you cry out in ecstasy, muffling them into the mattress as you lay in the growing pleasure, feeling the tight knot forming in your gut. “Fuck- that feels so good, Captain..”

It was then that Shanks inserts two digits into you, his hands quick to get wet with your slick as he pumps his fingers in and out of you, your moans growing in volume, it was clear of the activity going on in his room.

“Let go, sweetheart. Cum for me, won’t you?”

He exhales out at your squeal before you do as told and cum, where Shanks is quick to lap at them and swallow every drop, cleaning you up well.

He hears your quiet pants and pulls away from you, wiping his chin as he laughs. “Tired already? We barely got started.”

With that, the red-head begins to strip himself, pulling off his white long-sleeve and letting it fall to the floor before unbuckling his pants.

“I ate you so well, dearest. Delicious, I have to say. You’ll return the favor, right?”

You nod eagerly, desperate to give him what he wants so he can give you your desires.

Forcing yourself to turn onto your back, Shanks helps you up and guides your mouth towards his throbbing cock, tapping the tip against your lips. “Now, show me what you can do.”

And you did, obeying his orders almost immediately and letting your throat take all of his thick cock in, feeling the way he hits the back of your throat with ease.

“Oh fuck.. it seems there is more to that pretty little mouth of yours than just shameless flirting.” Shanks breathlessly chuckles, placing a gentle hand atop your head, petting your hair with care. “You’re doing great, my love. Use that tongue of yours for me?”

Tilting your head just a bit, to the best of your ability, you glide your tongue along his shaft, ensuring you get most of him and swirl your tongue around the slit of his tip.

It seems that had done the trick, because you hear Shanks curse out under his breath, his hands instinctively grabbing a fistful of your hair.

“A-ah, shit.”

Shanks didn’t waste time, unconsciously thrusting his hips and forcing more of himself down your throat. Your gag reflex reacts and Shanks grunts put a noise of pleasure. “Fuck, [Name].. I’m about to cum.”

Just then, a loud knock comes at the door and Shanks was about to respond when the voice behind it does first. “Oi, Shanks! Have you seen [Name] around?”

Recognizing it to be Beckmann, Shanks slowly pulls out of your mouth, allowing you to breathe properly once again and look up at the captain.

Shanks quietly fixed his pants, leaving his torso bare as he makes his way to the door and opens it just a bit, while you turn to the door, wondering what Beckmann needed.

“Beckmann, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

Beckmann, a cigar between his teeth, looks at Shanks and his appearance, quickly having a guess at what the red-head was doing and sighs. “You see [Name] around? I gotta speak with her about some things regarding the stocks,”

As he spoke, Shanks quietly opens the door wider until it exposed your figure on his bed, bounded and bare, naked body on display in front of them both.

Beckmann widens his eyes, his cigar nearly dropping out of his mouth as he clears his throat.

“Have some decency, Shanks!” He reaches to shut the door, averting his eyes to give you some sort of privacy but you weren’t fazed at all, only shifting and smiling lightly. “It’s okay, Beckmann.”

You truly didn’t mind, since you had to admit, Beckmann was honestly hot. And he was Shanks’s first mate, you trusted him as much as you did Shanks.

Shanks grins at your comment and pulls the first mate inside, shutting his door and locking it. “See? Our lovely [Name] doesn’t seem to mind, so come on in.”

You eventually manage to sit up and smile at Beckmann, though your cheeks were still visibly pink. “Hi Beckmann.”

“..Hi..” Beckmann just looks to Shanks, but Shanks just keeps his grin and pats his back. “Don’t be shy now, make yourself comfortable and I’ll even let you have a go at her first, before me, as long as you can help me punish this little lady.”

Shanks then gestures to his clothes. “Now, it’s not fair that you’re the only one clothed, now is it?”

Now turning to you, Shanks smirks at you and winks. “Hope you’re excited, darling, because now you get twice the pleasuring punishment.”

And with Beckmann’s slow, hesitant movements of removing his clothes but still doing so, let you know Beckmann’s interest in doing this.

After all, he too found you quite attractive like the captain, but refrained from making any movements when he saw Shanks’ interest in you.

You flush and bit your lip, feeling your lower areas already growing wet in anticipation and eagerness.

Of course you were excited— you were going have both Shanks and Benn Beckmann of the Red Haired Pirates fucking you all night.

And indeed they did. The night was long, and you most definitely learned a side of Beckmann you’ve never witnessed and a lesson you’ll never forget.

But you three couldn’t wait to do it again.

i can not write smut, I cannot care less about this shitty ending but I give my deepest apologies for something so crappy.

i might not write smut again, please forgive me for making you wait for so long for something so horrible.

I am terrible at this.

Please do not tell me your thoughts because I’m afraid of people getting upset with me :’)

thank you.

[bitchiha]

Kakashi and/or Yamato NSFW headcannons? I high key love ur blog btw 🥺✨❤

A/N: UHM YES LETS DOOOO THIS I LOVE YOU BTW AND THANK YOU!! <3 Yamato and Kakashi are like.. my favs. So thank you. I wrote for both of them!

Another side note: I decided to post some requests b4 my angsts bc Im almost done them and I can't neglect them anymore. I am the worlds biggest procrastinator, but I am trying my best.

✎ NSFW (Yamato, Kakashi)

Kakashi

I mentioned this before but both him and Yamato are touch starved. The only difference is that Kakashi needs it more. Like Yamato can control himself a little bit at least, but not Kakashi. Like if he’s gone on a mission longer than 3 days Kakashi is losing his mind.

Best horny Kakashi is horny Kakashi after reading his nasty books. Hands down. Man, it just gets him so worked up because he’s not imagining the characters in the books. Noooo. He’s imagining you and him.

Once when he was reading Icha Icha in bed he was reading a particularly nasty chapter I hope you know where this is going... Once the chapter was done he put the book down and looked over at you like all sly and shit. All the sudden he’s like “come sit on my face.” And the way he says it is so like.. idk how to describe it, but it’s like sly and cocky and curious all at once.

First time you ever sat on his face and it was the closest thing that you’ve ever gotten to heaven girl. Like you were seeing stars.

He’s into anything and everything tbh. Wants to try everything he reads in Icha Icha for himself. Which is amazing bc there’s always something new he wants to try. Everytime.

Loves pet names. Definitely calls you a whole dictionary full of them and they vary depending on what you two are doing exactly.

He likes giving oral a lot tbh. Like a lot a lot. It’s probably bc he knows he’s so damn good at it lmfoaoaoao. He’s read this stuff a hundred times over in his books, so he knows how his tongue should be moving and all that good stuff. Wants you to sit on his face all the time bc he likes how good it makes you feel. Also, likes when you are vocal.

Likes lingerie but he will have it off you in 0.5 seconds so he can drill your shit tbh. You’d have to swat his hands away from trying to peel them off, but you can’t keep them away for more than 5 minutes.

Such a tease. He won’t admit it, but he actually likes making you cry when you're getting it on lol. Just a little. It makes him feel like he’s living out a scene in one of his books and it makes him so much hornier. Like he’s probably denied you 10 times now and so you’re just a mess and he gets so carried away. But when he finally gives in it’s the best dick ever. Bye lol.

Will want to do sooo much nasty things in public. He’d actually be good at hiding what the two of you are doing though, for the most part. I don’t think he’d do anything super crazy though. Mostly things that work you up to get prepared for when you two go home.

Has definitely done it with you in a public washroom. Clamped his hand on your mouth so you wouldn’t get caught and girl he rocked your shit good.

Kakashi is both an ass and tits guy, but you know what he likes better? Thighs. Loves having them wrapped around him, straddling him, lol likes his face being between them and anywhere he can grip them tbh. Like even in public he’ll have a hand somehow on your thigh 24/7. Doesn’t matter if their chubby, small, whatever. He. loves. them. Also loves hips.

Doesn’t mind if you ever wanna take the lead. Go down on him after he comes back from a mission. Shower w him, take a bath with him, literally just do it. But take care of him good. He will repay you later.

I don’t think he’s loud. Probably likes giving you validation a lot, but you’ll only get some noises out of him. That doesn’t mean he isn’t enjoying himself bc he is, my goooosh he is.

However, after missions he’s just too tired to stop himself and he will get a lottt more vocal. Plus it’s his tired voice so it’s 10x more attractive. Lots of Groans.

So like I said, he may not be loud but look at his face. You can tell he’s enjoying himself by his facial expression. Like if his eyes are squeezed shut and his mouth is open slightly you are making him see stars. Or if he’s really focused and intent, that’s when he is doing something he just read about in one of his books and boy is he enjoying it. Orrr if hes got a cocky smirk that’s when you know he’s gonna tease the life out of you.

Has dealt with Naruto, Sakura, Sai and Sasukes attitude problems all day. So if you wanna try and give him some at home he will lack the patience. Will be so rough and you’ll like it, but it will hurt to sit down for a few days.

Has 0 self control if you wear skirts or dresses. Like he just wants to put his hands under it. You look so pretty in them too and he can’t stop staring. Has definitely left your skirt / dress on when he’s fucking you at least once.

CEO of making you blush. Gets you flustered all the time. He literally can never get enough of you. Sometimes you’ll just catch him giving you that stare. Or just like checking you out and you’re like: Kakashi we are in the middle of the village control yourself.

You really can’t get him to be jealous. You’ve tried everything and anything but he never gets riled up. He can make you jealous, but he doesn’t do it a lot. I think the only time you can really get him worked up like that is if you unintentionally make him jealous. If he knows you’re trying to, he won’t let it work. But if you don’t know it makes him so flustered. Like if you tell him you’re going on a 4 day mission with Yamato. He’ll be pissed lol. Why the fuck didn’t Lady Tsunade tell you two to go together?? Why you and tree boy?

Then all the sudden he’s making out with you in the middle of your kitchen. Muttering under his breath about how unfair that is. Like this man is gonna have to sit here for 4 days by himself while you’re out on a mission with Yamato?? Frustrated sex lol. Also will definitely leave hickeys. Have fun covering them up on your stupid 4 day mission with yAmATo. <3

Another thing; you’ve done it on every surface possible in your apartment. The kitchen table, the bathroom counter, the shower, every gosh darn wall. Probably even on a chair at your dinner table... What can I say. HES WHORE KNEE

Yamato

You will definitely be eachother’s first times. If you’re with him you’re with him for the long run. He isn’t gonna give himself to anyone like that. Nope, you’ll know you’re stuck with him once he starts to get intimate.

That being said, I don’t know why but I don’t think he’d be very self conscious about himself tbh. Like he’s touch starved as fuck already and so inexperienced so like.. now that he’s experiencing physical contact like he’s never had before my guy is short circuiting. Any touch from you feels wayyy to good for him and he could care a less about anything else when he gets going.

Also, he’s kinda loud - like not the type to scream lol but I mean like .. if you’re making him feel good (literally anything you do makes him feel good tbh), then you will know. Looots of groaning and grunts. Omggg and if he needs to keep really quiet he will probably muffle his moans by burying his face in your neck or tits lol.

I don’t think he’s the type to dirty talk too much or degrade at all. The only time he will really get into dirty talk, being rough and maybe some degrading is if you make him jealous. It only works if you use Kakashi for it and my god you’re asking for trouble if you do

Say something like “wow Kakashi you’re really strong,” or laugh at all his jokes and Yamato will seethe quietly. You’ve got to keep that up for a while to get him super worked up and when you do.. HE WILL DEFINITELY GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT.

When you get home he drilllls your ass girl. Like you’re all teary eyed because he’s been denying your orgasms and now he’s drilling you into the mattress oml. You’re like begging him and sobbing and he’s so fucking mad lol like he doesn’t care

“Stop crying. You thought everything Kakashi said was just so funny tonight, so go ahead and laugh, laugh like how you were laughing with him. Not so funny now is it?” “Think he can make you feel like this? Didn’t think so.”

Will feel so bad in the morning. Like he’ll actually feel so bad. Will make up for it in any way you ask him too. You liked it though and you riled him up on purpose, you won’t tell him though. You 1000/10 do it again. Kisses you all over to make up for it.

Everytime you do, you can’t look Kakashi in the eye for a good week bc you’ll only think of Yamato drilling your ass.

Praise kink 10/10. He will probably be so depressed and will lowkey cry if you degrade him. What he likes is praise. Fucking fuel that mans ego and be a vocal for him too ;) he likes knowing that he’s rocking your shit good.

CALL HIM CAPTAIN like he’s not really into being called sir or daddy or anything like that but my lord.. if you call him Captain.. ugh. It gets him everytime. Also darling too.

Uhm he realllyyy likes when you take care of him after missions. Especially if it’s a long mission or one with Team 7 because that shit stresses him the fuck out. He’ll have so much frustration he’ll need to get out by the time he comes home.

Perch your ass on the couch and wait for him. Bonus if you cooked him food first. Or if you wanna run a shower for him while he eats. He will insist you join him.

Also... He’s not slick at all when he introduces ideas like that, he probably says it bluntly like.. “y/n.. I really want to take a shower with you right now.” and his face would get all red too lol

But after some missions he’s just way too tired to fuck your ass up. This is usually like after most of his missions with Team 7. He will still somehow manage to be horny tho. Like he’s been gone for days and had to deal with moody teenagers the whole time and he would really love if you just sucked his dick rn. That always reallyyy gets him going. Probably will cum fast bc of how good it feels to him tho, but there’s a lot of it y’know. He’d also be loud too. Like too lazy to try and keep it down loud. Lots of groaning.

Like I said, he’s horny as fuck. Literally being around you just turns him on sometimes. Even at home. Like If you wear a tank top with no bra when you’re lounging around, he’s already horny. Short shorts? Hor-fucking-ny!! Sometimes he’ll get embarrassed and hide it from you, but let’s be real you feel the same way about him so it’s fine

Titty guy 100%. I’m sorry but like if you have big tits don’t expect him not to bury his face in them. Always gives them extra attention. Likes when your riding him and their bouncing. Wear Lacey bras, he loves them so much and he will keep them on the whole time so he can just admire it on you.

He doesn’t like the idea of doing anything in sexual in public. He has a reputation to uphold and he is not about to throw it out the window like that no matter how much he wants too. Its frustrating sometimes bc like you could be walking around the village together and he gets a good glimpse of your ass and now he’s thinking some nasty things. Then he’s got a really uncomfortable hard on to hide till you get home.

He gives you splinters by accident sometimes. Like idk how. Especially if youre sucking him off. His hands are gripping your shoulders and you feel a prick on your collarbone and you yelp. He’ll apologize profusely, but he can’t control it when he feels like this so it happens sometimes. You get used to it though. Won’t admit it but he doesnt even try to control it if his dicks down your throat bc.. when you yelp it feels reallyyy good.

I’ve always had a thing for Yamato.. so I kinda went off on this LOOL <3

[ithinkilikeit-reactions]

San “Boyfriend Headcanons”

Hongjoong version // Seonghwa version // Yunho version // Yeosang version // San version // Mingi version // Wooyoung version // Jongho version

- SHiba San 

- Mr. Passion

- I mean the passion this man has absolutely insane

- This goes for his relationships

- OkAYYY let’s go

- He acts so confident on your first date

- when in reality he shitting bricks 

- everytime you look away from him 

- he takes a deep breath

- only to pull a small smile when you look at him again

- he doesn’t want to show you how nervous he actually is

- but San will tell you about it more later on in relationship

- (don’t forget to tease him about it)

- But yeah he puts up a strong front

- Anyways

- He just wants something casual 

- where you can eat and enjoy yourselves

- maybe a small realllyyy good sandwich shop

- and maybe ice cream afterwards.

- maybe not this necessarily but

- he wants to go out and do something too

- maybe even a zoo and after going out for lunch

- San can be lazy and very active so he wants to put his best foot forward at first

- He would 10/10 kiss you on the first date

-  only if you want it of course

- but he isn’t scared of it

- looks at you with the biggest happiest eyes

- that sweet half smile

- as he asks you

- hand coming up to cup your cheek

- just very uwu

- his eye smile afterwards is everything 

- Also is kinda blushing but don’t bring it up

- bring it up a few months later

- Anyways when San is upset 

- I can see him needing to get some anger out

- like not on you obviously

- i feel like he’d need to go to the gym 

- punch some stuff 

- or just work out intensly

- he needs to do that 

- before coming home and going baby mode

- crashing into your arms and ready to rant

- BIG sucker for playing with hands

- you playing with his

- him playing with yours 

- it’s just something that soothes him 

- so when he’s ranting

- his hands will absentmindedly finds yours 

- just to play with them and calm down

-If you’re upset 

- San wants to fight what’s making you sad

- wants you to fight what’s making you sad

- San motivates you to take the power back from your sad emotions

- and get back up

- he’s really good at that

- he makes you realise

- “I am better than the thing making me sad and I will overcome” 

- he’s just very motivating in that sense

- again plays with your hands while doing so

- arguments with San are

- interesting???

- he’s almost childlike

-  if he’s wrong in the argument 

- he has a very hard time admitting he’s wrong

- It takes San a hot second to admit it 

- after some big eyerolls

- he’ll realise he’s being a kid 

- and apologizes

- with his head hung

- and a quiet voice

- he does feel really bad about it

- just has a hard time admitting it

- San likes making things up to you in small ways

- Letting you cuddle Shiber that night

- Letting you choose what to eat for dinner

- Skipping on playing games with Yunho that night

- small things 

- just to make sure you know he’s sorry

- He has such a fierce appearance but he’s so the opposite

- he’s so soft and loving

- very affectionate

- likes nestling his nose into your skin

- likes eskimo kisses alot too

- petting your hair

- it’s his way of showing you affection in public but also not going too far

- Sometimes you worry if San doesn’t go too hard in their performances and practices 

- You have to remind him to take a break

- or go easy it’s only a practice

- he works so hard though

- And just wants that effort to be seen

- so remember to tell him

- that his efforts are noticeable and working

- let him know he’s doing amazing

- and that he can take a break

- it’s still hard for me to believe San couldn’t dance when he started training

- because he moves with so much power and control

- but anyways

- remind him how awesome he looks 

- that he catches your eyes the most on stage etc

- Cuddling with San 

- it’s just 

- so lazy

- it’s great like 

- both in nice oversized clothing

- arms wrapped around eachother and just comfortable silence

- cuddling really happens when you two are tired and it’s late

- so it almost always leads to sleeping

- Shiber crushed inbetween you both

- loves waking you up with kisses over your whole face

- he thinks it’s fun and hopes it inspires you to wake him up that way

- loves loves loves it

- when you are affectionate with him

- San really likes staying in and being lazy 

- like alot 

- SO dates are mainly at your place or the dorm just hanging out

- very chill

- But when you two actually like go out

- he puts in such an effort

- really dresses up 

- is very excited to go and do things 

- even if it is just to see a movie

- he gets very excited

- loves to see you all dressed up too

- but loves it even more when you’re just chilling at your house

- messy hair

- sweatpants 

- that’s when he thinks you look the best because you are 100% comfortable

- would think it’s fun to work out with you

- but won’t ever force you or pressure you

- but would like it if you joined him every once in a while

- 10/10 checks you out while you’re working out 

- call him out on it and he will deny it

- only to peak at you more

- he would also love if you liked video games

- would love to be that nerdy video game couple with you

- sitting next to eachother with your pc’s and gooooo

- would find it fun if you sat and played games with the others too

- Now jealousy

- San gets jealous

- idk why I feel this I just do

- He’s quite observant

- so he sees when guys/girls look at you 

- or when they flirt with you and you don’t detect it

- but he never gets mad at you EVER

- he shoots them some lethal dirty looks 

- before pulling you closer 

- and whispering sweet nothings in your ear to make you smile

- he knows it’s not your fault  

- he knows that you’re absolutely perfect and others can’t help it 

- but he has you 

- he doesn’t want to lose you

- so he just whispers these sweet things to you and reassure you

- and himself a little bit

- San isn’t very clingy however he loves your affection

- but he loves your affection when he knows you want to give it

Let’s move on to San’s hip thrusts

- now we know this boy moves with a lot of passion

- that happens in the bedroom too 

- San is a switch 

- every headcanon I say almost all of Ateez are switches 

- anyways 

- San loves holding your ass

- squeezing it

- spanking it

- biting it 

- loves your ass

- therefore 

- loves doggy 

- he really likes the sight of himself disappearing into you 

- also loves slapping your ass while he fucks you from behind

- When you’re face eachother 

- he loves biting your skin 

- everywhere

- leaving marks 

- rolling his hips for days

- we all know those hip thrusts 

- they do damage

- like literally they take your breath away

- and it makes him laugh a little

- he can be quite teasing when it comes to that

- not scared for dirty talk: 

- “You like it when I move like this?” 

- “I must really get to you when I’m on stage then.” 

-  Loves it when you ride him 

- especially like lazy sex

- just leaning back 

- barely bothering to take off your clothes

- very lazy

- with some teasing hip thrusts on his end

- he’s into experimenting

- i feel like he’s the most open to it out of all the members

- likes tying you up 

- but doesn’t mind being tied up 

- however won’t do anything like enflicting pain aside from biting

Aftercare

- Aftercare is very chill 

- you guys work together 

- checking eachother over

- quietly and thoughtfully

- every now and then you can catch San looking at you with heart eyes

- and he blushes before looking away and redirecting his attention

- kinda lazy aftercare

- on both ends not just his

- kinda like 

- ���You good, you feel okay?” 

- “Yeah, okay awesome.” 

- However that’s after lazy sex

- after rough sex however 

- he’s almost frantic

- making sure you aren’t hurt at all 

- especially after experimenting

- make sure to let him know he made you feel good 

- and that you’re okay 

- MAKE SURE he’s okay 

- We always talk about the idol giving you aftercare

- but don’t discuss giving them aftercare enough 

- afterwards 

- he just kidn of sinks into you 

- pressing his forehead into yours 

- smiling softly

- playing with your hands 

- tends to fall asleep with his head on your chest

- so he can hear your heartbeat

- Your relationship with San is easy going

- Comforting and relaxed

- very stress free 

- and very filled with soft love

A/N: 3 more members left! Are you guys excited?? I am. I’ve never finished a series before so I’m excited to actually do it. Anyways as usual feed back is kind

[blackkwidowed]

a reminder

Requested: 

Hi! I absolutely love your Nat x Reader stories, OOOF. Can I request where the reader is an Idol (singer and hardcore dancer) and the reader is at dance practice at the avengers compound. Then when the Reader goes to their shared room, they get into an argument because of not spending time with each other and then it leads to reallyyyy hot sex where Nat is extreme sub. Reader is also an Avenger with abs and muscle. (girl on girl) THANKS DOLL!

Summary: Natasha perhaps appreciates bad ideas too much. 

Rating: E. Filthy smut. Sub!Nat (my fave *swoon*). Uhhh spanking, The Strap, light dirty talk, light choking. Nat’s a size queen. Slight daddy kink but not realllyyy. Up to interpretation. Sorry.

Word Count: 2,401

I’m so sorry this is filth. It’s thirsting hours (send me smut requests) and i am h word

To say you enjoyed the attention was perhaps a little narcissistic, but when you’d been working on your dreams for so long, success was something you were grateful for, more than anything. You were humble about it, and you were quite widely known for that quality. 

The last year or so had been your best professionally, with the release of an album and too many performances to count. It had been thrilling, every minute of it. 

But now, you were tired. 

Tired, because keeping all of that up full time as well as working on super secret stuff in Stark Tower, was exhausting. 

You kept it all balanced at first, but you’d been away a lot recently and you’re starting to think Natasha is growing less fond of being apart from you. Admittedly, you hated it too, but you also knew how happy Natasha has and always will be for you. 

You’re thinking about it while you finish up your practice for the week, a promise to Natasha that since you hadn’t seen each other much the last few weeks, you’d spend some time together. You miss her every day. Sometimes she gets the chance to come with you, but with how demanding her role is too, it makes everything a little more difficult. 

You gather your things and call it a day, riding the elevator straight to your shared room with Natasha. You hope she’s waiting for you already, you hope she’s missed you as much as you had missed her. 

“Nat?” You call, kicking the door shut behind you. 

She emerges from the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed. “Hi, baby. You done?” 

“Hey, you,” you grin with a nod. “All done.”

“Good.” You don't miss the way her eyes linger on your biceps, slightly sleek with sweat from practice. A blush stains her cheeks and she moves to kiss you, fingers playing at the hem of your tank top. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, Natasha.” You pull her into a hug and God, that feeling of home and comfort is indescribable, unable to compare to anything else. “I have a meeting tomorrow afternoon but it should be over quickly, then I’m all yours.” 

You feel her sigh and your heart drops to your stomach. The noise alone screams this is about to get ugly. 

“We never spend time together.” She states, pulling away from the hug and looking at you, her expression sad more than anything else. 

You frown sympathetically at her with a nod. “I know. Things have been crazy lately. I’m sorry, Nat.” 

She runs a hand through her hair, shutting her eyes and sighing again. “I know, I just thought you’d finally spend a weekend with me instead of being all over the place with work.” 

You raise an eyebrow. “You know that’s selfish.” 

“Is it?” 

“Yes! My work is important, too. I can’t help it.” You shrug. “You work too, a lot, might I add. Don’t be a fucking hypocrite, Natalia.” 

She shoots you a look, but you don’t back down. How could you when she was being a little bit unreasonable.

“I just. I miss you. Feels like we don’t have enough time anymore. I mean, when was the last time we had sex?” 

You roll your eyes. “Is that what this is about? That you haven’t been fucked in a few weeks?” 

Natasha huffs and shakes her head. “No, I was just trying to make a point.” 

“Really? Because I can certainly change that.” 

She eyes you curiously, noting a change in your expression. You stand defensively, shoulders broad but still beautifully feminine, raised up a little in rising anger. You always look incredibly sexy like that, and she can’t help but let her mind run. 

“Don’t.” Natasha whispers. 

“Maybe you’re right,” you smirk at her, stepping forward and raising a hand to her cheek. You run your thumb across it, relishing in the growing warmth beneath it. “That isn’t the best way to solve a fight.” 

She shakes her head, staring intently at you, searching for an answer in your expression. You put on such a good façade that even Natasha can’t read you sometimes. 

“Definitely not,” she agrees. “We shouldn't.”

It’s barely even a second that passes, but your hands find the back of her neck and you pull her closer, leaning down to crush your mouth to hers and press your tongue against her lips. 

She doesn’t hesitate to kiss you back of course, but she’s disappointed when you pull away, the hands that initially brushed your waist now pinned above her head as she’s slammed against the wall. 

“Don’t fucking touch me.” You hum in her ear. Your free hand pins Natasha’s hips to the wall behind her. You feel her shiver and you grin, sinking your teeth into her neck and sucking harshly. You feel the vibration of a moan in her throat and you shove a thigh between her legs. “And don’t you dare move your hips.”

Natasha does try to stop the whimper threatening to fall, but the assertiveness in your voice and the tightening of the hand on her hip, fingers pressing into the flesh hard enough to bruise, makes it impossible and it slips out. 

With another nip at her neck, you step back and leave her slouched against the wall. You don’t fail to notice the way she squeezes her thighs together at your next order. “Strip. Now.” 

Natasha nods and does as she’s told, standing completely naked in front of you under your hungry gaze.  

“On the bed.”

Natasha just smirks, her own hands running up her stomach to her breasts. You bite your lip and shake your head at her. 

“On the bed, now, Natalia.” 

“Yes, daddy.” 

You release an animalistic noise in your throat, deep and slightly threatening. Natasha almost lets you win at this game when she hears it.

You grab Natasha’s hips as she strolls past you to lay on the bed, forcing her to her knees to bend her over one side of the bed. You adjust her so you can press against her ass. Your hand runs across her lower back, before lowering and delivering a slap.

“Jesus,” she yelps in surprise, the harsh sting causing a flood between her thighs. “More.”

“Yeah?” You hum, fisting her hair in your free hand. You use more force the next time you do it, and more after that progressively. By the time you’re satisfied with how obvious your marks on her ass are, she’s a whimpering mess beneath you. “Naughty girl. You gonna behave for me now?”

She nods quickly, frantic and desperate for whatever is about to come next. 

“Hands and knees.” You order. Your voice is heavy and thick with lust, Natasha can’t handle herself. 

She scrambles to meet your request and you kneel behind her again, running a hand over her ass softly this time to soothe it a little. You run your fingertips down the back of her thighs. God, you can feel her trembling, you can see it. You glance down at the bed sheets from where she was bent over the bed before and you tut, loud. The sheet is soaked from where she was pressed against it, the slaps to her ass evidently doing more than you thought. 

“Dirty girl, look at the mess you made,” you chuckle, glancing back down at where she’s raised her ass up before you. Her thighs are slick, she’s so fucking ready to be taken that you can’t believe it. “Such a messy little slut. You just can’t control yourself, can you?” 

“Mmf.” She moans at your words and you grin to yourself because dammit you’ve got her slick and ruined and moaning for you without even touching her. 

“Spread your legs.” You deliver a light slap to the back of one thigh, running your hand back up to sink a finger inside her without a warning. “Just like that. Good girl. That’s it.” 

She drops her head and groans, hips pushing back to take your finger deeper. She needs more. Well, in reality you know what she really needs from you right now is something else, something bigger. But you’ll make her wait for that. 

You add another finger, sinking deep and curling perfectly. She whines and moans your name quietly, the sound forcing you to drive deeper inside her. Your thumb moves to circle her clit and she cries out, tightening around your fingers in a plea for more. 

She’s stunning like this, spread out and sweaty and begging for more. 

With the addition of a third finger, you thrust hard. The pressure on her clit is wonderful, and you know she’s close already. She whimpers, fingers grabbing at the sheets and balling them in her fists. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” 

A dark smile paints your face and you fuck into her harder, speeding up the circling and the pressure on her clit and she comes with a cry of your name, hips bucking erratically. 

Pulling your fingers out, you reach around and slip them into her hot mouth. She groans around them, sucking them clean and clenching her thighs together. 

You kiss her shoulder and hop off the bed, heading to that special drawer you share with Natasha. You can hear her breath hitch as she watches your every move, not moving from her position on her hands and knees. Such a good girl. 

You’ve put the harness on so many times you may as well start packing with it, and at the mere thought you make a mental note for later. Natasha would definitely like it if you packed for her. You contemplate with sizes for a moment before picking up the biggest one, the need to fill her up and split her open and show her who’s in charge becoming overwhelming, to say the least. 

When you return to the bed, her thighs are shaking in anticipation and you shudder, the thought of being so deep and so thick inside her ruining you and setting you alight. 

“On your back. I want to watch you come for me.” 

Natasha does as she’s told, turning over and laying back against the pillows. Her legs are already open for you and you crawl between them, leaning over her to kiss her slowly. She hesitates to touch you, still following your rule from earlier. 

You pull away and move to take a hard nipple into your mouth. “You can touch, sweetheart.”

She breathes relief and her fingers sink and tangle through your hair, pulling you up to kiss her again. She bites at your bottom lip and groans. 

You know she can’t wait any longer and you reach down to grasp the base of the toy, guiding it through her folds slowly, brushing her clit. She whimpers, bucks her hips, eyes pleading for you to just fuck her.

“Hush, baby,” you whisper, placing a kiss below her ear. “Shhh.”

She gasps, mouth falling open as you press the toy to her cunt, slipping the tip inside as her legs part further to accommodate the stretch. The toy is big. Not unrealistic in size, but definitely well above average. 

You pull out and she whines. Placing a soft kiss to her cheek, you push in again, further this time, a little faster. You know she can take the stretch, you’re desperate to see it happen, but teasing her is near amusing, so much so you can’t resist. 

You continue to push deeper, your hips eventually meeting hers and you groan. She’s completely full of you, stretched around that cock like it’s what she knows best. The feeling of being inside her like this is like nothing else. 

“Please move your hips,” she murmurs, begging. “Please, Y/N.”

“Okay, baby,” you smile, kissing over her chest. “Okay.” 

You pull out almost all the way, just leaving the tip inside her, and you thrust back in, faster than before, a little harder. A low, raspy groan forms in her throat and fingers dig into the muscles in your back, clawing and scratching for support. You growl in her ear, “harder.” 

You can feel the smirk against your neck as she bites, scratching down your back with more force as your thrusts speed up, setting a delicious pace as you fuck into her. 

You slow your thrusts a little so you can grasp at her legs, hooking her thighs over your shoulders and speeding up again.

“Oh fuck,” she damn near screams, the new angle surprising her pleasantly. “Fuck me harder.”

You smirk and obey, your hips moving at an incredible force just to keep her greed at bay. You’re struggling to move as she clenches around the toy, your thumb circling her clit. “So tight. Can barely move.” 

She whines and scratches harder at your back. You’re certain she’s leaving marks and you can’t wait to see the bright crescent shapes littering your skin when you wake up in the morning, the aftermath of sex with Natasha being almost just as exciting as the act. 

“I’m close,” she warns. A devilish smirk appears on your lips and she reads it immediately. “Don’t make me say it.” 

“Say it, pretty girl.” You command. “Say it or you don’t get to come.” 

She huffs and you get a new idea, reaching up to wrap your fingers around her throat. Natasha can’t help it now, keening under the rough touch. 

“Please, Y/N.” She gives in. “Please can I come?” 

“Mhmm, come for me.” Your lips find hers, an attempt to stop the screams coming from her which you know you’re gonna get complaints about from the rest of the team come the morning. 

She comes again with a breathy whimper of your name, her nails raking down your back so hard you hiss in pain. You’d be stupid to stop fucking her so you don’t, forcing her to come again right after and she screams, your hand still around her throat. 

“Oh my God,” she mutters. It’s broken, raspy, she can’t really talk properly considering how hard she just came and you love it. “Don’t tell me you’re done.” 

“Nope.” You smirk, pulling out, and you flip her so she’s straddling your hips. You pat your thighs and grab the base of the toy to hold it steady. “You’re gonna fuck yourself on this toy while I watch.”

[floorbed]

7 19 23 35 40 52 69 for The Jester and The Crimegirl

thank you so much bee omg i loved the questions u made sm!!! time for Them. this is super super long im sorry njdkkfkrenkjr

7. which party member do they understand the least?

for pen it is probably alba if he had to pick anyone? just because he can do Crazy Shit Sometimes. but pen still feels like he understands him v well!!

for agni its probably elvira! she is from a place she knows next to nothing about besides what elvira’s explained or what she’s learned from school, she is 100+ years old, yeah! while agni doesnt like fully Understand her she still thinks she’s really cool!! it was rlly nice of her to try and comfort her when she initially found out abt Rei Time. and also knitted her a pretty holster that was so nice of her!!

19. what haunts them? what doesn’t?

pen’s is home. so mf much he genuinely loves his party a lot and has gotten really attached but also like he misses home so bad it hurts. he felt like he was an intrinsic part of something that he fit perfectly and was never gonna have to give up, and he got to be w everyone he cared about all day. he’s haunted by mikolai’s wedding lol. he’s also haunted by The Shit That Went Down Pertaining To His Exile, His Subsequent Exile, Making the Pact,  Dying, Making The Pact Pt 2, The Thing He Had To Do After He Made The Pact, And Then Also Dying Again. he’s haunted by holding ori dead in his arms and bringing her back using power he now understands was from a Not That Great Place. he barely knew her then but he still thought about it all the time, and now he thinks abt it even more lol! he just is not used to life being. Like This. at all. he was a vvvvvv spoiled kid. (some nobility complex part of him is haunted by lydia! stupid jester!) 

he’s not haunted by everyone he’s been a bitch to lol, unless he vocally apologized for it later nfjnf. he’s not haunted by vargas. uh

agni is not haunted by most things and That’s On her super healthy coping mechanism! she tries to not think about her personal life with that much weight, she tries to keep it abstract in her head? but also there are some things she can’t help but get Unnamed Bad Feeling from instinctively. rei. w how last session fucking turned out lol, watching seras collapse in the doorway Will Def Become One. Moms Time, both for individual reasons. sometimes, not being accomplished, but that also filters into Moms Time. everything else tho she kind of just vibes through. 

23. how do they feel about nicknames, titles, or labels that have been given to them? how do they feel about their name?

pens Official Title is penance the jester, court jester of tarbyen (and he makes sure no one forgets it lol.) everyone he grew up around had official titles so it made him feel realllyyy good abt himself that he had one too! (he likes that the party’s nicknamed him pen tho, he thinks its sweet >:) ) his Name name is camil, but only his mom n mikolai called him that, so he thinks its very like..... informal, and he likes being a Formal Title Boy, but also it makes him go all soft bc the two ppl he loved most called him that!! conflicting feelings. 

agni’s had her nickname since she was really young i think, one of those like, you’re in fantasy kindergarten and learning how to spell and your first name is rlly long, so u employ a nickname very early Kind Of Moments. her full name is agnodice and she likes it well enough! it feels very kind of like. stiff and formal to her tho. she thinks agni suits her better!

35. which party member do they worry for?

pen worries for All Of Them. he tries to follow juni when he’s having one of his (as pen puts it) “freak out moments” bc he’s scared someday it’s going to be something that really hurts him, and he wants to be there to help if it does. pen has fully accidentally triggered ori before, and he feels really bad about it, especially since her triggers literally Set Her On Fire. so you know. he tries to be really careful with his words around her, especially since the incident a couple sessions ago. also, he is Very Concerned abt all of her past stuff with the mahne that he’s recently learned abt, especially putting together all the past knowledge she’s given him abt the river and what to do in a pact and Where Exactly She Got That Info From. he’s grateful she’s not in any of that anymore, though, whatever the mahne is exactly. alba’s impulsivity worries pen n he wants to make sure alba doesnt accidentally Put Himself In A Situation accidentally w that someday. 

agni worries for theodosia, just because she seems to know a lot about the fucked up illness time thats going on and it seems to rlly effect her and she knows it cld be coming from prior past experience? she also worries for cyrus because of the whole you know. his family’s shop and home being burned to the ground Situation, even though theyve since recovered it couldnt have been good for him. worries for kai, also, because he is Small Baby Boy. but worries as in like. does so in her agni way and it may not come across as such?

40. do they enjoy poetry?

pen loves poetry he heard a lot of epics at home!! the stories were Less fun when it was about like, war and bloodshed and stuff, but he loved them when they were all pretty n flowery or like romantic 🥺

agni likes hearing poetry recited, especially when it has a specific repetitive syllable pattern she can get lost in!

52. from whom do they seek validation?

pen simply be like [wants validation from nobility noises]. its his Complexes. thats why being @ ravenloft rn is so... bad for him lol bc hes getting like all the positive attention from important people hes wanted for his entire life, oops. hes literally living out a dream being asked to dance with someone so important!! he also seeks validation a lot from like powerpful women bc of growing up with his mom and how much he looked up to her and cared about her, which manifests itself a lot w wanting attention from ori and jenny (and previously w lady wachter lol) and also the lady of delights. 

growing up agni sought validation from her mothers n instructors, now (while she still wants momsvalidation) she looks for validation mostly from herself, which is kind of bad bc she never feels fully satiated w her work n accomplishments! 

69. how would they describe their party members?

for pen: ori feels like an older sister to him, hes too scared to express as much, but yeah! she is warm (he means figuratively but also lol) and Kind and Competent and Smart and above all, Safe. he defintely feels like, the safest with her than anyone else he’s encountered in his life, both i mean in the physical protection sense but moreso the emotional sense! yeah. juni is.,, complicated. at first pen was uhhh scared of him bc of the whole Sorcerer Thing, but after all of them talked abt it at jenny’s, that feeling passed and he was more just concerned for him than anything. he is Powerful and Pretty and even though he’s been thru a lot of things pen himself cant even comprehend juni’s still Soft and Understanding and pen really admires that about him! alba is Also Complicated, for different reasons. pen thinks he is Reckless and Impulsive but also Smart in his own little scheme way, and pen really appreciates him as like a constant in his life? like yeah, he is scary and concerning sometimes but he’s always Predictably as such and while pen doesn’t see alba as all that loyal in general pen is kind of blind to that stuff when it comes to ppl in relation to him, so he’s just glad he’s met someone that wants to stick with him.

for agni: cyrus is so nice to her!! he feels like a capital f Friend in her head and so far like. she’s only had one of those before so thats really cool!! he helps her out a lot and she tries to do what she can to be there for him too! it was nice of him to teach her abt Beach Swimming. theo is really cool and agni loves seeing her in her element doing Medicine Stuff she thinks she is really smart w that kind of thing and rlly respects her practice, agni’s also very interested in her magic!! she thinks dendy is small little lizard guy who sings silly songs. greatly appreciates him. she wld follow kai blindly into terrible plans because she wants to make sure this cool teen is alright , is thankful to know he can turn into a bear at will and she didnt do that on accident that one time! amadeus is confusing and hard to keep track of in her head, but at the end of the day she thinks he’s very caring and just looking out for people. adaeze is really fun to hang out with and she is both concerned and greatly impressed w her just straight up downing one of fer’s Fucked Up And Evil Potions no questions asked, bc thats something even Agni’s too scared to do. thinks her sword is very interesting in terms of the arcane, wants to see what happens w all that! elvira is super different from anyone agni’s been around but she thinks she’s an amazing artist and would love to see her home bc she talks about it so vividly!! 

[marvelsbestsuperheroine]

New York is a Lonely Place

Prompt: I don’t know if you’re writing Ironwidow any longer but I realllyyy wanted to read a period drama with Tony Nat in the 60s or 70s? Or something along that line. Thanks in advance

A/N: Hello, there! I’m so sorry this took me so long. I went on vacation and then I got sick and then I had to catch up with life and then I had to do research because I don’t know much about those decades. This takes place in the early 60s. I hope you like it and apologies once again.

New York City was a lonely place. So many people who didn’t care enough about others to even glance their way, too focused on their own downtrodden-ness. It was the perfect place for a Russian spy to go about her business and follow everyone else’s. 

During the war, Natalia Romanova had not felt the loneliness that others had described in overheard conversations and intercepted communications. She had been in her element, focused, single-minded, content. But then she had come to America. Then something had gone horribly wrong in her mother country. She lost all contact with her superior officer, waited for days, weeks, months. She never heard from him again.

Stranded in a foreign country with no new orders, Natalia continued with her routine. She observed, she followed, she took notes. She filed away all the information she could on her target, waited for the day to be given permission to finish it.

The papers piled up. She bought more filing cabinets. She rented a new apartment. She bought a big storage locker. 

She had been following genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist Tony Stark for 15 years before he finally caught her. And that was only because she let him, so tired was she of this stupid game, of her stupid fixation. She was meant to kill him but she never received the order. She’d been waiting for the right moment, holding out for the faintest sign of Russia trying to contact her. She told herself that that was the reason she had never taken initiative.

But she had always prided herself on not being just a cog in a machine. She wasn’t the machine. She was the whole damn gun and she would fire when it suited her best. Her S.O. had known and understood that. She wondered vaguely what happened to him.

So why was Mr. Stark still alive? She asked herself this question as she stared him right in the eyes, his knife pressed gently against her throat, her back bent over a table in his spacious loft.

“Who are you?” He asked, brows furrowed in confusion and anger. The hand that held the knife was unsteady. She could feel the vibrations against her skin. His other hand had one of her wrists pinned to the table, as if that could stop her. Even that hand was delicate, avoiding putting too much pressure.

“I’m a Russian spy,” she said, plain and simple, in perfect English. No Russian accent.

Stark blinked. “You- you are? I mean- why are you following me?”

Natalia blinked calmly back. “I was waiting for the right moment to kill you. But that moment never came. I have been following you for 15 years. The war is over. We are at peace. You Americans have your own troubles, of course. The drugs, the protests, the conflict in Vietnam. I was supposed to receive an order but something went wrong back home and I lost all communication. The order never came. So I never killed you. But I kept observing, kept waiting. Fifteen years and now we are old and I am tired of waiting.”

Stark blinked again. His skin seemed to drain of colour, his hands shook even more harshly. “Fifteen years... Why so long?”

Natalia shrugged, unconcerned by the knife ready to pierce her veins. “I am a patient woman, Mr. Stark. And besides. I like New York. It is lovely at night. But it is, as they say, a lonely place.”

She couldn’t see his eyes in the dark of night but she could feel the way he shifted his stance, the way his grip on her loosened. “What did you mean to do, when you came into my apartment just now?”

In the adjacent bedroom, the television was still playing, casting its flickering white light and broadcasting static-y music. The Beatles, Natalia figured. She glanced at the doorway. Inside, the large bed was illuminated by the television, glowing like an invitation.

“I came to meet the man I know everything about but have never spoken to,” she replied honestly. “I did not come to kill you, Mr. Stark. I came to you because I have no mission anymore. I have nothing. And as I said: New York is a lonely place.”

Her heartbeat never wavered, never skipped. It pulsed beneath the dull edge of metal twice, thrice, four times. He let go and pulled back, stepped back some more. He looked so awkward, dressed in his pajamas and holding a clean kitchen knife. She almost wished he was still on top of her, still pinning her down.

He set the knife on the counter in the kitchenette, just across the way from her, and turned on the lights. They were bright and harsh. Obviously he did not feel the same.

“Would you... Can I offer you a drink?” His hands fidgeted perpetually, twitching and rubbing and tapping.

She hopped onto one of the bar stools at the island. “Vodka. Please.”

He hesitated, whispered “fuck it” and then proceeded to grab two glasses from the shelf. “Can I at least know your name?”

Now it was her turn to hesitate, but only for half a second. “Natasha. Romanoff.”

If he noticed that her name wasn’t Russian, he didn’t mention it, for which she was grateful. 

“And you know my name.” He popped open a bottle of vodka and poured. “Apparently.” He screwed the lid back on. “So why not kill me? You must’ve had the opportunity sometime in the last 15 years.” He slid a glass to her and then came around the island to sit on the stool beside her.

She shrugged. “I did not see a need to. I know everything about you. Your public face, your private face, your interests, your hobbies, your secrets. I know you fund charities anonymously, which ones and how much. I know you tinker with cars in your many garages. I know exactly how much money you have at the bank, how much you’ve taken out, what you’ve spent it on. I know you see lots of women in lots of places but you are always courteous. I know how good you are in bed, how often you think about sex. I know that despite everything, despite my mission to kill you and despite my breaking into your home, you are thinking about taking me right now, on this counter.”

She watched his adam’s apple bob up and down, heard the squeak of leather beneath his bum as he squirmed beneath her penetrating stare. She watched him throw back his drink, shake his head, sigh, then reach for the bottle to pour a second glass. Natalia downed hers as well and held out her own for a refill.

He obliged. “How did you get in here?”

Avoiding the topic. Alright. She would humour him. For a little while. She had waited this long, what was a little longer?

“Through the window.”

“We’re on the top floor.”

“And?” Now she smirked at him over the rim. When she set the cup down again, it was empty and stained with bright red lipstick.

He eyed it thirstily. “I need better security.”

“You do,” she agreed and poured herself a third.

Not to be outdone by a woman, he chugged his as well.

“If you know me so well then you know my vices,” he said. “My weaknesses.”

“I do.”

“Be honest with me. Did you poison this somehow?”

She chuckled. “No, Mr. Stark. If I were here to kill you, it would be much quicker than that. And less terrifying. For you.”

“Right. Great. Fucking fantastic.” He polished off his third. Or was he on his fourth now? He was losing track.

“I know so much about you,” Natalia continued. “It’s only fair that you know things about me.”

His eyebrows raised and he turned to face her fully. He gestured for her to go on.

“I was born in Stalingrad in 1930. In 1931, my parents died in a house fire. I was given to my uncle, a high-up director in the KGB. He raised me to be the perfect spy, put me through a rigorous training program called The Red Room. I was taught how to manipulate, how to lie, how to kill. At 16 I was the best in the school. They graduated me early and put me in the field. My English was the best so they sent me to America undercover. You were my first and last assignment. I had only been watching you a few weeks when everything went dark. I had no more communication with Russia, not even my uncle. Everything I tried failed. There wasn’t even anything in the news to tell me what might have happened.

“I was a skilled girl but young and naive and without direction. When I wasn’t watching you I was studying you. When I wasn’t studying you I was sleeping. Eventually I knew everything there was to know. That’s when I got sloppy. I ate out. I drank out. I danced. But I never formed connections, never made any commitments. I moved from place to place, worked where I could, stole where I couldn’t. I was never tied down to anything in case I heard word, in case I got the order, in case I needed to go back.

“I have been living in fear of going back, I realize now. I enjoy your music, your fashion, your ways of life. Women are demanding more rights. Men are more carefree. Americans are open-minded, they are passionate, they fight for their rights and the rights of others. I have been following the news and I am most impressed by some of the more political figures. And your sports are enjoyable. And I can watch them on the television. Your country focuses too much on money and is very rowdy, but you are also free in many ways. Emotionally, physically, sexually.”

She placed a hand on his thigh and slid upward. He had been drinking all through her story. She knew he could hold his alcohol but she wondered if he would even be conscious for what happened next.

“I have wanted you for so long.” She climbed into his lap. He did not stop her. Instead, he grabbed her waist and held her there, as if afraid she would fall off, as if afraid for her safety.

“In the Red Room, they also taught us how to please, how to tease, how to make the most of everything. I can make you feel things none of those other women have.” Her voice was a whisper now, a breath on his neck before she placed gentle kisses along the tendons. His head fell back, his mouth fell open. “Would you like that?”

“Y-yeah,” he could only stutter.

She pressed the lightest of kisses at the corner of his mouth. He was still as a statue.

“I will hold you to that.” Then she stepped off of him and back. “Thank you for the drinks.” She left out the front door this time, figuring he wouldn’t make her go out the window.

Tony Stark blinked and she was gone, melted into the shadows and the sound of her heels against his wooden floors echoing in his head.

New York was a lonely place indeed.

[creepypastashavecomittedtaxfraud]

Hi!! if requests are still open, id love to see jane, jack and toby w a s/o whos kinda an eldritch terror. Like, mostly human looking, but w some uncanny valley thing, probably w a “true form” or w/e thats got a bunch of teeth and eyes and arms n all that good stuff. Bonus points if s/o eats ppl :)

oh helll yeahhhh i dig this request u got it!! janes section is for x girl or nb reader since she’s a canon lesbian though oki ^_^ jack and toby r gender neutral though like my other scenarios and hc pieces 

Also sorry this kinda turned more into like a meeting/reaction to that turns into being s/o’s post i hope u still like it!!

jane:

Definitely not the first time she’s seen someone like you down here so it doesn’t phase her, its not like she’s totally human looking either haha, 

 she does take a certain interest in you right away though. but she tries not to stare cuz thats rude (she’ll definitely try to start a convo with you though!! She’s drawn to anyone she thinks looks as cool as her) but despite her efforts to keep it cool you probably notice right away how much attention she gives to you, the non-invasive but genuine questions

 when you first show off your true form, she is...Very impressed to say the least hehehe, expresses her admiration while maintaining her cool collected demeanor but on the inside her interest only grows, and the pre-existing soft spot for you only gets that much softer. (won her over with the cool eldrich horror stuff)

 Thinks you’re just lovely, in ‘normal’ or true form, privately cant help but be a tiny bit curious about the details of your appearance !! You might catch her staring at your big teeth or getting lost in those multiple eyes sometimes💕💕💕, and if you invite her in for a closer look she’ll take it! Finds you so very endearing, a real testament to the wonders and joys of living in the underworld :’)

 She’s usually the strong stoic-y one in relationships, but something about your uncanny horrifying appearance just tugs at her heart, scoop her up in your multiple arms and give her a hug and a kiss and she’ll go so soft just for you 💕💕💕💕💕

 Doesn’t mind the people eating thing, finds it kind of funny how years ago it made her so uncomfortable but now it’s just whatever. Whatever makes you happy!

 even if you’re a powerful eldritch horror she wants to be so strong for you and impress you,  and talks semi-jokingly about protecting you, no matter how powerful you are you’re still her sweetheart  💕 💕💕And she thinks you two are quite cool and good together, true form or not! The uncanny vaguely not-human look suits the both of you well,

 She’s very sweet with you , and treats you very tenderly despite your terror being status, gently runs her hand over your cheek, frequently peppers your cute monster-y self with kisses,

Jack:

oh FINALLY . SOMEONE WHO’S FREAKY LIKE HE IS!!!!!!!

 immediately very drawn to you, whether you’re a ‘demon’ as well technically speaking or not, finds a lot of solidarity with you. From the weird and uncanny appearance to the people eating thing

  Is a little reserved at first just by nature but definitely wants to get to know you...and once you two start talking for real, he’s smitten💘. sorry if its corny but it feels like he’s got someone who like...understands him. since moving here he’s been around mostly humans, and it can feel weird or isolating sometimes is all....

 Will try to win you over by sharing food, he hopes you like organs too!! And if you prefer something else, he’ll go out of his way to start collecting that just for you while he’s out

 When it’s just the two of you hanging out you can probably just chill in your true form. He doesn’t really have one himself but he feels more comfortable with the inhuman parts of himself around you. His demonic distorted tint to his voice slips in a bit more, he straightens his posture out more to his full 6′ 9′’ height, laughs a little louder letting his rows of freaky demon teeth show up better, keeps his mask off around you, little things like that. Doesn’t feel like he has to worry about scaring anyone or having to be more human-y to fit in when he’s with you

 probably one of those close couples who are around each other all the time, finish each others sentences, whats-with-their-weird-mental-link situations. “It’s an inhuman monster thing u wouldnt understand”

 You’re still by far more inhuman than him in your true form, you seem really powerful and are just...so cool ... 💕💕💕he realllyyy likes you

Toby:

The first time he sees you he’s mostly just, curious. Wants to know “what your deal is” to put it in a way. Not in a mean way, but he’s still super human, so more inhuman seeming people just make him feel curious yknow!

  If you pay attention you’ll probably catch him staring at you from around corners or from other rooms. Maybe you’ll think its annoying, maybe you’ll think its funny, depends

  You two should talk ! He’s nice of course, doesn’t even ask any rude questions! At first. But eventually he finally just asks out right “So...Are you like a uhhhh human?”. Now would be a great time to unveil your true form!

 “WOAH!!!!!!!”

probably drops his drink, and stares at you wide eyed not out of fear but it’s surprising!.... and fucking COOL. and kind of....hot

  Asks nicely if he can see your teeth up close a lot. not only are they awesome looking but its kind of just an excuse to get all up close to your face...Which only feeds into his new crush on you haha

  Thinks you must be really strong with all those arms of yours...Asks to be picked up, which whether you actually can or not is up to you

  His crush is so obvious no lie. Very flirty and always asking you to show off your cool true form and whatever powers you might have, and always has such a blush on his face too. Might as well just kiss the poor guy already!! He might faint though and you’ll have to catch him in those many arms of yours

 youre very very cute together, its a sweet dynamic💕cute human guy who’s all affectionate and very pda and sweet paired with you: a very strange and uncanny not-human who has that distinct horror-y creature aura even in your human-y form . But he loves you so much, you’re his perfect horror inhuman cutie 💕💕💕

 oh and about the people eating thing- not a problem. wouldn’t be his first time around someone who does that. often jokes about letting u eat one of his limbs if you got hungry since he cant feel it anyway LOL

[crpingdeath]

i was tagged by @moonchildwildheart thank you love!! 🌿🌻

what was the last thing you read?

i genuinely don’t even know 

favourite movie?

once upon a time in hollywood

favourite book?

wuthering heights 

dream date?

a concert (i really want the guy i’m with to love the same music that i do) and then drinks after

do you have a crush?

nope. i haven’t had a crush on anyone in literally a decade and thank god honestly 

what are your hobbies?

i don’t have any..all i do is sleep and watch tv...which is maybe a problem lol

what’s your favourite time of day?

mid morning and late night 

if you could look like anything, what would you look like?

i like the way i look, i just want my acne to go away and to lose some weight

are you a romantic?

yeah

what’s your favourite type of weather?

sunny and cold 

what do you like talking about?

music, tv, movies. i like talking about anything with people who i'm comfortable with and enjoy being around 

what are your turn ons?

just brad pitt in once upon a time in hollywood djkbkdq but seriously open mindedness, kindness, intelligence without being smug about it, laid back energy. that’s a boring answer but a mans personality and mannerisms are so important to me that if i don't like those things about him then i won’t find anything he does attractive at all 

turn offs?

ignorance, cruelty, stubbornness 

if you got a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

i probably won't get a tattoo because i have commitment issues and just the fact that it’s permanent would make me hate whatever it was eventually but if i had to i'd get queen lyrics on my inner wrist or something 

do you want any pets?

i have a dog and two cats that are my babies 

dream job?

i thought i wanted to be an interior designer but i don’t feel passionate about it anymore so i don’t know. my dream is to not need to have a job lol

dream place to live?

i'd love to be able to live in a bunch of different places and go back and forth between them like new orleans, california, london and probably stay in texas too just in a different city than where i live now 

dream vacation?

i want to go on a road trip across all of north america and stay at unique motels and stop at all the weird road side attractions 

do you want any piercings?

no. again it’s like with tattoos even though a piercing isn't permanent it would still feel like it was a big deal for me.  i don't even have my ears pierced 

if you had kids, what would you name them?

i’ve never wanted kids so i haven’t put much thought in to it but i think naming a girl “may” after brian may is kinda cute or even freddie because i think girls with names that are stereotypically guys names are cool (me being one and all lol)  

what are your best traits?

i always try to be open minded and treat everyone with kindness

worst traits?

avoiding my problems, shutting myself off from people and procrastinating 

what’s your worst fear?

that i'll never be able to accomplish anything in life because of my mental illness and that i'll lose my mom while i'm still young. losing her scares me period but i still need her so much at this stage of my life that it realllyyy terrifies me

what do you want to eat right now?

i could eat curry every single day of my life 

what’s the best vacation you’ve been on?

every time i’ve gone to new orleans with my mom

favourite city?

new orleans 

favourite social media platform?

i only have tumblr now and it was the best decision ever 

favourite article of clothing?

my saint laurent boots. i am poor as all fuck but my mom got them for me a few years ago when they were on sale and i do not take them for granted

do you play any sports?

no

favourite meal of the day?

dinner. i don't eat breakfast and i'm too lazy to eat lunch a lot of the time so i always eat a big dinner 

what are you excited for?

harrys album 

not excited for?

either finding a new doctor or seeing my current one for my meds. either way i just wish i didn’t have to do it

when was the last time you cried?

watching doctor sleep 

dream house?

i love the 60s and 70s laurel canyon cabin vibe

what’s something you hate about the world?

ignorance and greed and the cruelty people are willing to inflict and ignore because of it

what’s something you love about the world?

the beauty in nature and innocence in animals, the courage and kindness that’s brought out of good people in the face of cruelty and greed from the bad 

what scents do you like?

woodsy, spicy scents 

what kind of sleeper are you?

i’ve had the worst insomnia for my entire life so my sleep has always been terrible 

are you a cat or dog person?

love both

how long would you survive in a zombie apocalypse?

i feel like i'd die within the first year but my sheer force of will when i'm angry might get me farther and i imagine i'd be angry all the time lol

are you trusting?

not at all. it takes me a long time to trust someone and even then i keep a bit of a wall up 

what fictional characters do you identify with?

pam beesly, april ludgate, nell crain from the haunting of hill house

what labels do you commonly get?

everyone tells me i still look like a kid when they first meet me

what song would be your life anthem?

doing alright by queen

what issues are you dealing with right now?

my shit mental health and financial problems 

how can someone win you over?

just by being kind and having a good vibe over all

what’s something about you people don’t know?

i only got my drivers license this past january because i was too scared to do it before then (i’m in my 20s) and i only got it because i was at the point where i felt pathetic not being able to drive myself anywhere. and i still get massive anxiety every time i drive 

[echodrops]

My KH3 Fix-It Dream

(Warning, long post is long because part way through I just started writing bits of the actual fic, oops.)

There’s a lot of people complaining about this and that with the KH3 plot, but I honestly don’t have too many complaints because the story we were given was about what I expected (did anyone realllyyy believe that Kairi was going to become a badass Keyblade wielder? Search your heart, you know you saw this travesty coming), except on one front: Vanitas was tragically under-utilized. After being hyped up so much in the trailers, you’d think that he would have at least had a go in the game that was worthy of his character. But KH3′s Vanitas was little more than a shadow of BBS’s, and that’s a darn shame.

So, I present to you: a fix-it fic plot bunny that fixes several things at once:

1) Vanitas doesn’t die. Okay, actually, it still works fine if he does die, but we’ll take his “I’m always with you” suggestion literally--Vanitas is a heart of Darkness wrapped in a body made of bad feelings, and that final battle was one brutal attack on the feels after another. The fear, anxiety, horror, and desperation the Lights, especially Sora upon witnessing what happens to Kairi, manifests as so much accumulated negativity that Vanitas--even though he actually wants to!!--can’t stay dead, and his heart, which naturally lingered with Sora and Ventus even after his defeat, gets shoved back into another body made entirely of other people’s suffering and pain, now even more unstable and dysfunctional than before.

2) The final battle happens. Kairi is saved, but Sora disappears. While the finally-reunited good-guy crew are busy coming out of shock planning how they’ll inevitably rescue Sora, they’re also struggling with another major issue: what to do about Vanitas, who is as comatose as Ven was at the beginning of BBS, a broken heart in a broken body.

3) Nobody wants to say “mercy kill”... The idea is there, but none of the gang is really willing to do it barring maybe Roxas, whose practicality is actually alarming (”You’re not going to be feeling so sympathetic when he wakes up and stabs somebody, you know. Don’t say I didn’t warn you”). Even Aqua, who knows as well as Ven how much of a danger Vanitas is, can’t really convince herself to attack someone who's completely helpless. But what to do, if not that? He isn’t waking up, and anywhere they leave him, he’ll have to be guarded around the clock--he still, technically, has the ability to trigger the apocalypse if left unattended to chase hearts of light, you know.

4) It’s Ven’s idea to take him to Destiny Islands. That was Master Xehanort’s plan for Ven, after all, when they were first separated: let Ven’s empty body waste away, forgotten, in a backwater world. Instead he’d made contact with Sora--and nobody wants to say that either, that maybe there’s the tiniest bit of hope: somehow, some way, maybe Sora can still be reached, maybe the call of yet another heart in need will be irresistible enough to make the unfailing hero claw his own way back from the brink...

5) What really happens is this: Sora’s mother has had MORE THAN ENOUGH. Spaceships start dropping out of the sky, the deserted play island is somehow brimming with grown men and women running around, she sees Kairi of all people wandering right back into town as if she hasn’t been inexplicably absent for months... So where is Sora? Where is Sora and why is he not coming home? Finally, after three days of radio silence from Kairi and Riku (Riku’s been gone for years, and now he’s suddenly here, without Sora? When has there ever been a such thing as Riku without Sora?), Sora’s mother prepares a scolding on the level of God casting humans out of the Garden of Eden and indignantly rows her way out to the play island. It seems there’s a whole crowd gathered at a bonfire down the beach, but she never makes it there. Because there’s Sora right there on the paopu island, there’s Sora, only everything’s wrong--who let him dye his hair like that, what is he wearing, why won’t he wake up--”Sora? SORA!”

6) It’s Riku who tells her the truth. That Sora is gone, in the wind, not even a body to bury except this one, this boy who’s wearing the face of the son she hasn’t held in her arms in ages--maybe never will again. This is what he looks like now, Riku says, but this isn’t him. (How? How is this not her son? Under his bangs there’s the same freckle at the edge of his forehead she used to give good night kisses to--)

7) They make several attempts to stop her (”Ma’am,” the man with brown hair and guilty eyes says, “Ma’am, you really can’t--he’s a danger to--”) but none of them stopped her son either and if they’ll stand by and let the light of all the worlds extinguish itself, let’s be honest, they’re just not that good of guardians. She takes Sora the boy named Vanitas home. In Sora’s old bed he looks comical, the only time, maybe, that he’ll ever look tall, and the shadow of the toys and clutter she hadn’t had the heart to clean (not after the day she remembered that the room up the stairs wasn’t just sealed up storage, that a boy had lived there, that his worn clothes were still strewn across the floor, that she’d had a son at all, Sora, for a whole year she’d forgotten the name, the sound, the jut of his lip in a pout--) falls over his face. They say he’s not her son.

8) Well, she thinks, we’ll see about that.

And lol I know that was a million words but like that was the prologue and the actual rest of the fic goes like this:

Sora’s mom takes care of Vanitas’ comatose body because hey, she’s a pediatric nurse, that kind of thing is literally her job. Riku and Kairi try to bodyguard her for a couple weeks, but the longer Vanitas stays asleep, the less and less often they come around--they’ve got to find Sora, after all.

The longer she takes care of Vanitas-not-Sora though, the worse her loneliness gets, until the deep vein of Darkness sadness (she lost her son not once, not twice, but three times) resonates with the shattered remnants of Vanitas’ heart and she forcefully because Sora got his busybodiness from somewhere generously connects with him enough to wake him up.

(“Go away,” answers a voice without speaking.

“Why?”

“You’re annoying me. I’m tired.”

“You’re hurt.”

“That’s what I said.”

No it isn’t.

There’s a certain sort of sadness only people who’ve lived through losing the light of their lives will ever know. There’s a kind of kinship in surviving separation. Her heart aches, goes out of her all at once, reaching--

“I made my decision. Leave me alone.”

"Did you make that decision because you were alone?”)

Only, you know, Vanitas doesn’t want to be awake or even alive now that he has absolutely no purpose, no master, no X-blade, no mission, nowhere to go, and no chance of ever reuniting with Ven--so fuck off, he’s not going to eat those home-made muffins and he’s not going to go take a bath even if he does stink, and he’s not going to talk, and he’s not coming out from under the covers for anything less than the sweet release of a swift execution.

...But that’s so boring.

So he insults her instead. And threatens her and mocks her and knocks over the water glasses she brings and lets the Unversed chase her out of the room and picks out all the stitches on this ugly hand-sewn quilt and asks her why she’s got a room full of toys but no kid to go in it.

No sell: she’s a pediatric nurse and dealing with sick, miserable, screaming children is what she does every day. And anyway, from seven to eight Sora threw a year of temper tantrums that make this boy look positively mild.

There’s one more thing working in her favor: he’s still curious. She learns: he’s never had a fruit smoothie, read a comic book, or slept in sheets fresh from the dryer. Sora’s old action figures aren’t played with so much as dismembered in effigy (is it that Vanitas is vindictive or that he’s jealous?), but the new electric toothbrush somehow wins grudging approval. The vacuum cleaner startles him the first time she turns it on, but one night when she goes for a drink at 3am, she discovers he’s been teaching himself to use the TV. Finding out the water can come out of the taps already hot buys her a whole seven minutes of intrigued silence, but the existence of ice cube trays might as well be a mortal offense. (”Don’t tell me you people actually wait for the water to--?” Given that he then summons a block of ice longer than the dining room table out of thin air, she thinks on this occasion he might be right though when he leaves said ice block to melt, her charitable feelings dry up.) He has to watch her pick herbs from the garden and cook with them before he can be convinced that the “weeds” are food. In short, he’s barely half way back from feral, and if the man who made him wasn’t already dead, she’d happily go kill that piece of shit herself.

It turns out, with spit, polish, and proper motivation (read as: bribes, read as: hot pot and honey castella), he’ll do the things she asks (sometimes). When he actually commits himself to a task, he’s focused to an alarming degree, meticulous and self-critical, and he stubbornly refuses to give up until he’s content with the results, which means that sometimes on her way to work she finds him where she left him the night before, still glaring, bleary-eyed and bratty, at the broken stand-mixer or mantle clock or book spine that she hoped he could fix with magic. If he spitefully tracks mud all over the house after he relentlessly weeds the whole garden, well, she’d say the benefits still outweigh the costs.

The hoard of creatures that follow him around (”They’re my feelings,” he says, and kicks one without the slightest hesitation) take getting used to, but it’s easier to share space when they make themselves so useful--sometimes even when he can’t be badgered into work, he’s willing the boss the underlings into action: the crooked door on the backyard shed finally gets rehung thanks to a towering brute with a banana peel on its head, and once she opens a jar in the kitchen she doesn’t remember buying and finds it full of rich, warm apple pie.

He gets... better. It’s not linear. They have bad days, days when he breaks things without warning and won’t talk except through stinging barbs, one day so bad he let a flock of his worst feelings pound enormous holes in the living room walls, burns up her favorite rose bush--but they have good days too. Some days he laughs and it isn’t malicious at all; some days he eats with her at the table without even being asked; some days she comes home late to find he’s still awake, ready to poke fun at the tired way she toes off her shoes, and it takes everything she has to keep from saying You really didn’t have to wait up for me.

One day he smiles for no reason at all, and she thinks: The boy’s going to be okay.

(But how in the world is she going to explain all this to Sora?)

And there’s sooo much else I want to write but I can’ttttttt, I don’t have time, so here’s a bullet list of “also featuring:”

Vanitas being a natural Heartless deterrent because none of them want to mess with the biggest Darkness on the block.

Ven, Terra, and Aqua sniffing around trying to figure out whether they need to take Vanitas back (just to make sure he’s properly under watch, of course); Sora’s mom giving them the politest “Fuck you” this side of the universe.

Kairi and Vanitas friendship. Vanitas doesn’t even know it’s happening. Kairi is devious. Vanitas taking over Kairi’s training even though they can’t physically spar because they’ll literally end the world if they fight lol. Kairi taking advantage of Vanitas’ lack of interest in social cues to get him to do things none of the other boys will do with her like clothes shopping.

Kairi and Axel friendship with Roxas being the weird middle man who doesn’t know why they can’t just text each other instead of sending handwritten letters back and forth through him of all people.

Vanitas and Roxas reaching grudging levels of respect because sarcastic bitches gotta support each other.

Roxas and Sora’s mom being hilariously awkward because Sora’s mom doesn’t know if she should also be claiming responsibility for this child too and Roxas is absolutely clueless about the concept of having parents in the first place.

After many chapters of redemption arc, Sora’s mom taking Vanitas with her to work at the hospital so he can turn the sick children’s negative feelings into Unversed and then defeat them. She doesn’t know this hurts him and he sure as fuck isn’t going to tell her.

Everything going to shit when Chirithy shows up, insisting Vanitas is its master and calling him “Ven.” Vanitas was getting better--he was getting over the fact that he’d never be “Ventus” again--

Discovering memories of Daybreak Town and the first Keyblade War with Chirithy’s (and Namine’s!) help. Remembering the existence of old friends--Ephemer, Skuld, the other Union leaders--and the realization that they might still be alive, trapped in a timeless world of sleep.

Vanitas and Riku teaming up after someone (Mickey? Yen Sid?) suggests that Sora’s heart may have returned to the place where all hearts eventually go--the core of light that lies sleeping in the deepest depths of the realm of Darkness. Realm of Darkness road trip! (This is just my excuse to wax philosophical about how being made of Darkness doesn’t actually make anyone evil.)

Finding out that saving Sora will mean finally, actually opening the door to the true Kingdom Hearts, which can only be accessed via Scala Ad Caelum, or, more specifically, the ruins of Daybreak Town that lie beneath it.

Insert some Nomura-esque convoluted plot here about how the clock of Daybreak Town isn’t actually a bell tower but the mechanism for protecting the original X-blade and the door to Kingdom Hearts, and Daybreak!Ventus’ very existence was somehow tied to this clock tower--that’s why Ventus’ and Vanitas’ Keyblades form the two halves of a broken gear: they’re maybe literally the gear that turns the hands of time in the world that once lay closest to the heart of all things. The bell, the sword, the door--they’re all linked, and the only way to save Sora--to save everyone, including the sleeping Dandelions--is to reunite (to wake) their fractured dream of Daybreak with reality, restore the X-blade, and retrieve Sora’s wandering self with the power of Kingdom Hearts’ connection to all worlds and all hearts.

In short, like Nomura, I don’t actually know how I’d ever make it make sense, but the X-blade would get forged by Ven and Vanitas in a safe and sane way (this is just my excuse to give Vanitas a scene where he finally recognizes that he is content to be a separate being from Ventus; that he wants to stay his own person)... Kairi wields the X-blade because fuck you KH3, and everyone gets the damn happy ending they deserve--but most especially Vanitas, who gets to be the big damn hero to finally bring Sora home safe to their mother.

Like guys, I just need Vanitas’ narrative arc to feel coherent and complete. I need to know why he and Ven have a gear motif. How they’re connected to the Dandelions. Whether or not Ventus and Vanitas could ever both simultaneously be at peace despite remaining separate people. Whether Chirithy would have recognized Vanitas. Why Ventus alone had the power to forge the X-blade by reuniting with his other half when it would otherwise have taken 13 Darknesses and 7 Lights. What Sora’s mother would say finding out her son has like five clones now. If anyone would ever recognize that Vanitas had never been shown basic fucking human kindness.

Nomura. Plz.

[pip-pirrup]

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25

omg is that all of themwill do!

Favorite character(s)

pip, the goth kids, kenny, craig

Favorite episode(s)

uhh let me think well literally all the episodes with pip, for onei also realllyyy love the pandemic episodes bc of that good craig contentraisinsthat coon and friends trilogy the creek episodes for giving me life againgod now that I’m thinking about it I love so manyTMI the listthat jersey episodeand the ungroundable is a fucking classic

Least favorite character 

RANDY

Least favorite episode

all of season 20, most of season 21

Favorite season(s)

i don’t think i specifically have a favorite season but obviously the newer ones have been… not so goodI did really like season 19 though because speculating about the plot was super fun and i loved leslie a lot

Favorite musical number(s)

ok this technically doesn’t count but I absolutely love the music the goth kids play in the backgroundas an actual goth I’m extremely shocked by just how accurate they got the music like it literally sounds like actual songs by goth bands I know

Favorite SoT character design

man it’s been so long I hardly rememberI think I really like kyle’s

Favorite TFBW character design

mysterion will always be my favorite but I really liked call girl also

Favorite quote(s)

god I don’t think I could possibly choose there are too many that are gold and honestly I forget about a lot of them until I’m rewatching and I die when I hear them again

Favorite friendship

style!!!also, I’ve spoken about this before a long time ago, but i absoluely love stan’s relationship with the goth kids and how you can kind of still see evidence of their friendship even after parting

Favorite ship(s) (If you have those)

I literally only ship creekI have a really complicated relationship with shipping in this fandom

Favorite fanfic(s) (if you read those)

tbh I haven’t really been reading fic lately, and I rarely ever do for this fandom in particular

Favorite location in town, if there is one

every time I see the back part of the school I get really excited because I know the goth kids hang out therebut honestly I don’t think I really have a specific location that I like 

Favorite celebrity guest

robert smith!!!I’ve never been big on the cure but they were a goth band back in the day gotta represent

Favorite celebrity impersonation

tbh… I don’t really pay attention to celebrity stuff

Favorite Kenny death

literally all of his deaths in the coon and friends trilogy were iconic

Favorite group (of any type)

goth kids!!!

Favorite “I learned something today” 

omg I don’t remember any of them specifically 

Scene that made you cry

SAY SOMETHING I’M GIVING UP ON YOU

Character that is most like you - personality and actions wise

fuckn. tweek.also a healthy mix of kyle and stan

Character that is most like you - looks wise

real talk I’ve been considering closet cosplaying henrietta for this reasonwe’re both goth and have similar hair styles

Character you’d be friends with if they were real

the goth kids we gotta stick together also?? pip how could I resist

Character that is overrated in your opinion

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmI meanI really don’t like cartmanI feel like more focus is put on him than the other kids

Character that is underrated in your opinion

P I Palso the goth kidsplease,, love them

The episode that got you into the show

I’m pretty sure it was rainforest shmainforestmy one friend found out I never saw SP before so she put her DVD in and played that episode

[sarahunfiltered-blog1]

“This Little Light of Mine...

...I’m gonna let it shine.”

I’ve now sat down 2-3 times to write this blog post. I’ve deleted it every time and restarted and backed off, then came back, then backed off because what I was typing didn’t feel right, but it keeps coming up that I need to sit down and blog about this, so I’m going to go with my gut, set my own fears aside from it that no one gives a shit about how I let my light shine, or what I have to say and that this is stupid because these are all the thoughts that swirl in my head when I go to blog about something more personal and touchy, but I know from reading others people’s personal/vulnerable blogs I love them most because they’re real, raw, unfiltered and genuine which are all ways I work at showing up as... so here goes.

The word light keeps coming up for me. In conversations, mediation, yoga, visions, oracle cards, you name it, it’s present in my life.

What comes to mind when I think light is how I let my light shine and also in what ways I haven’t let my life shine throughout life, which has been more often than not. I would let life, work, family, friends and my own self-judgement keep me from letting my true light shine. It has never felt safe to be me and express myself fully. 

I feel like I’ve always had to down play myself, and keep everything to myself, stay quiet and ultimately just hide in my shell because I’m scared of others judging me about what I’m into or how I go about life or what I’m interested in and how I’m growing and what I’m learning about.

In the past my standard has been:

“Look how cute my dog is!” 

“Look at this dish I just cooked!”

“Look at this new diet I’m on!” (that I actually really hate and I’m hangry)

“Look at my progress pics!” (when in reality I’m not loving how I look)

“Look at my on point make up today!” (when in reality I feel ugly that day)

...now I’m not saying those aren’t parts of me and my life and journey, but that isn’t me. That’s not me letting my light shine. It’s me showing everyone what I think they want to see from me, but how fair is that to me or anyone really?

This isn’t to say I want to use my social platforms as this dirty laundry basket and talk about how shitty my life and day may have been (to me that’s what journaling is for). No, it’s the opposite. It’s me talking about how I love using palo santo to cleanse me and my space and why, how I’m into crystals, what realization I had during yoga, or the vision I had during meditation, how self care and love is so important to me and how I practice it, or how I LOVE using oracle cards, how holistic I love to live, how connected to the universe I feel, etc. 

I have thoughts of... 

“Oh, is so and so going to think I’m weird cause I use palo santo to “clear my space”?“ 

“What is someone thinks I’m a woowoo witchy bitchy?”

“What if someone judges me for having a potty mouth?”

“OMG... does so and so think I’ve gone crazy since I enjoy meditating with a crystal?”

“What if my friends feel weird around me now?”

“Ugh, what if my mom sees this and I get a text about what I’m doing wrong in her eyes?”

“What will my religious family/friends think of me?”

“What if someone labels me as “Mrs. Perfect” who does everything “right” and look at her waking up at 5 a.m. just to show off? Who does she think she is?

and the list goes on and on... but then I had this realization...

What if ALL of this is just me judging everyone else on judging me which ultimately just means I am judging everyone else? tf.. O_______o

Funny how that works though. I think it’s everyone else when I really need to take a look in the mirror and look at my own self-judgement I have towards myself because what others may or may not have to say is 100% OK. It doesn’t mean I need to hide in a closet and never come out and speak my truth and shine my light. Just because xyz may feel a certain way, that doesn’t mean it needs to dictate how I go about life. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, just as much as much as it’s OK for me to let it go in one ear and out the other and not OBSESS over what so and so thinks of me. 

I’ve really been working against the fears I have with me sharing more than just surface level content. It’s not easy and sometimes as I am writing out the post and I want to say “fuck it” and not post the really long caption or a yoga pose I practiced or something encouraging because I think who really cares? like whoooooooo REALLLYYY cares? But you know what? Me stepping out of my comfort zone and letting this little light of my shine has brought so much positive outcome, feedback and even new friends. LIKE HOW EFFIN’ COOL. 

Like my best friend for example is practicing yoga and loves using palo santo and crystals and is learning more and more about a healthier way of eating, I reconnected with a college friend for SEVEN years ago we just click so well, 2 of my friends asked recipes for the smoothies I drink every morning, my husband is interesting in the coffee and smoothies I drink along with looking into eating more keto/paleo friendly, one of my close friends used my oracle cards and the card she pulled really spoke to her and she looked into purchasing a deck herself, I noticed shortly after I started a blog on tumblr a friend that follows me started one too and I’ve also been able to connect with some of the people who inspire me the most through social media and they’ve cheered me on. 

It’s getting easier day by day and post by post and what’s really cool is during my last few meditations I’ve had visions of this bright white light completely surrounding me and to me that means protection, safety and that I am bringing light into the world and despite how silly I am feel in the moment I know I’ll attract the right people for me by doing me. 

Some people may not feel drawn to share their lives more publicly and some may not understand why this is important/big for me, but something that has always been huge for me is communication, leading, teaching and inspiring others, so me holding back is doing me and everyone a disservice and well.. I am just not OK with being quiet, playing small, and laying low anymore. I have a lot to share and I know you lead by example and need to walk the walk. 

So here is me letting my little light shine more and more in the days to come. :)

Sarah xo

[alexhatesmusic]

Alex reviews the song Closer by the group the Chainsmokers

The beginning to {insert your favorite crime show here} always unfolds in the same way. Someone is running through the woods, breathing heavily, and looking back over their shoulder. The viewpoint juggles between tight, close-ups to far away landscapes to point-of-view as we watch this character sprint through the wilderness. It becomes pretty evident that this person is running from something, but we never get a clear view of what they’re running from, only that it’s terrifying and evil. The escapee crouches behind a tree/fallen tree/randomunexplainedstructure and we think, “Hey, they made it!” Right as relief washes over the character (and us), the poor soul is stabbed or shot or something and we learn an important lesson: You can never escape evil.

That’s how I feel about the song “Closer” by the Chainsmokers. It had been a few weeks since I had last heard “Closer.” I was enjoying life; a soul-crushing burden removed from me. I let myself believe that I had escaped this song and perhaps I would never hear it again. I thought that maybe (just maybe) I was free.

And then some fuck tagged me in this.

First of all, let’s talk about this band. “From Lambs to Lions???” realllyyy??? You wanted to start a faux-screamo band with your fake-metal friends and your fake-metal aesthetic and overdone haircuts that are now both out-of-style and the go-to Nazi style (s/o Richard Spencer) and you call yourself From Lambs to Lions? 

Okay. 

I would have gone my whole life not knowing who you are, but because you somehow thought “punk goes pop” was still relevant and because someone out there decided, “Hey, Alex would looooooove this,” I have to watch you sing shizzy autotune and do awkward choreographed instrument dances in an empty barn (so very punk). But enough with you.

I’ve been asked before why I don’t like the song “Closer” by the Chainsmokers. Somehow the answer “well, have you listened to it?” isn’t good enough, so I’ll elaborate here. Line by line.

The song starts with what I can only assume is a walrus slapping his fin down on a piano and hitting the same two chords over and over again. A voice pops in nonchalantly and says, “Hey.”

Before we go further I’ve got to note: Some people are really talented. Some people are really, really great at singing. Andrew Taggart of the Chainsmokers is not one of these people. I thought the singing might be coming from the walrus playing the same sparse notes in the background, but upon watching this video, I learned that there is in fact a man behind the voice.

So the song goes:

“Hey, I was doing just fine before I met you/ I drink too much/ And that’s an issue, but I’m okay”

Where to start? Easy knocks: I was doing just fine before I heard this song. I would drink too if I heard your voice on the daily. Blah blah blah. Beyond that, he’s obviously setting up a narrative. There’s a love interest and he drinks a lot.

“Hey, you tell your friends/ It was nice to meet them/ But I hope I never see them again”

Hey again! Not a greaaat way to start off a relationship, telling your so’s friends to fuck off and all, but alright. That last line is super wobbly vocally, but not the worst vocal experience of the track, because that belongs to the following pre-chorus.

“I know it breaks your heart/ Moved to the city in a broke-down car/ And four years, no calls/ Now you're lookin' pretty in a hotel bar/ And I-I-I can't stop/ No, I-I-I can't stop”

We don’t really know what Taggart can’t stop doing (the narrative foundation isn’t super strong here), but if it’s singing, I implore him to just try really hard for everyone else’s sake. 

So the narrative timeline is a bit wonky here. He told the girl’s friends to fuck off, he admits that he’s a drunk and that he was doing a-okay before she waltzed into his life. They obviously moved from somewhere into the famed, archetypal CITY in the famed, archetypal BROKE-DOWN CAR; they haven’t spoken in four years; and, above all, he-he-he can’t stop. He runs into her at a bar, so what’s the logical thing to do next? Hook up.

“So, baby, pull me closer/ In the backseat of your Rover/ That I know you can't afford/ Bite that tattoo on your shoulder”

I guess my biggest thing is: If you own a Land Rover, why are you having sex in the backseat of your car and not indoors like a normal person? Don’t get me wrong, Car and Driver reviewed the LR4 and noted, “The LR4 is one of the few modern vehicles with a genuinely low cowl, and combined with the tall roof it returns the sensation of extreme roominess,” which means there’s probably plenty of head room to get head, but come on, man. You’ve had how many #1 singles and you decide to get it on in your girl’s Range Rover? SHE CAN’T EVEN AFFORD IT! YOU’RE GOING TO GET STAINS ON THE “luxury-lined interior” (s/o Car and Driver). 

“Pull the sheets right off the corner/ Of the mattress that you stole/ From your roommate back in Boulder/ We ain't ever getting older”

So your girl’s a criminal, Taggart. Wow. At least now you’re having sex inside like a normal adult and not like a high schooler trying to hide from your parents. 

So, you haven’t seen this girl for four years and you run up on her at the bar. You hook up, not only in the back seat of her car, but on a mattress that she’s had since college and your excuse is, “We ain’t ever getting older.”

Alright.

Meanwhile, the world’s laziest EDM drop is happening as the walrus continues smashing his head against the same four notes that he’s been hitting all song. 

So, let’s hear what the other side of this relationship has to say. 

Picture Halsey, sitting at the bar, sipping on a (lets say) Irish car bomb and (enter frame) ex-bf walks in. You haven’t spoken in four years. So far we know that you used to go to the University of Colorado, you stole your roommate’s mattress and somehow brought it 1023 miles to what I can only assume is LA. You own a Range Rover that is way out of your price range, your ex is a drunk who can’t sing, and you have a tattoo on your shoulder.

And action!

“You look as good as the day I met you/ I forget just why I left you, I was insane”

Okay, on that last part, make it a present form of the “to be��� verb and we’ll talk. Maybe it was because of his alcoholism? Maybe it was he was a dick to your friends? Does he really look as good as the day you met him? It’s been at least four years plus however many years you were together (healthy estimate based on time at Boulder and time in Tuscon (see upcoming lyrics) is that you met at least six to eight years ago). 

What water are they drinking in the archetypal CITY? Are y’all really not “getting older?”

Stay and play that Blink-182 song/ That we beat to death in Tucson, okay

You really couldn’t find a better band to prove that you’re a badass than Blink-182? Don’t get me wrong, “I Miss You” is a hit, but you’re hitting low-hanging pop punk fruit here. 

The worst part though? SHE SINGS FOUR LINES BEFORE THE PRE-CHORUS COMES BACK INTO THE SONG. She’s the redeeming factor of this track. She doesn’t have a terrible voice. She’s pretty and provides the narrative contrast to a so far confusing son. Why in the world are you only giving her four unique lines before shoeing her into the chorus?

“I know it breaks your heart/ Moved to the city blah blah blah blah” 

Same lyrical content over again. You’ve heard this song, so you know it repeats this pre-chorus and chorus another time in a charming (eh) duet before finishing the track in anthemic shouts of “We ain’t ever getting older” over the same lazy beat and same three or four electronic chords that have plagued the entire song.

And that’s the track.

So what does this story tell us? I honestly couldn’t tell you. The narrative is cloudy and the music is too devoid of variety to be able to make anything out.

The best I can tell you is that these are obviously the rantings of a drunkard and his borderline kleptomaniac ex-girlfriend. They find each other again in the archetypal CITY and hook up in a station wagon and that is the song.

This is pop music.

I don’t like this song. It’s lyrically dumb, instrumentally inept, and vocally horrifying. 

That being said, I know a lot of people do (897,256,229 plays on spotify and counting). Honestly, there’s really nothing wrong with liking this music. The music industry has spent decades and billions of dollars engineering pop music to be aesthetically pleasing, so it makes sense that people out there like this track. I just can’t be one of those people.

At the end of the day though, I spent an hour or two typing all of this and I learned something. I really am no better than Andrew Taggart. As I said earlier, “Closer” is just the ranting and raving of a post-hook-up, drunk boy in the city. This review is nothing more than the ranting and raving of a no-hook-up, sober boy in the country. The only difference is I don’t have festival headlining appearances and 39 million monthly listeners. Which, truth be told, is probably for the best.

So that’s that. My review of “Closer” by the Chainsmokers featuring Halsey. If I had to assign it a value, I’d give it a 1.5 star out of 5. If you’ve read this far, god bless you, you crazy person. If you gave up long ago, I honestly don’t blame you.