#It's killing me that I will probably never know why Baroness wrote it like that

[burnsopale]

Question!

Did anyone else reading The Elusive Pimpernel for the first time think Percy had intercepted Collot D'Herbois on the road from Paris and taken his place?

To be fair I had read a tumblr post saying Percy once disguised himself as a frenchman working for Chauvelin, so I didn't make the assumption just based on the text. Also, I didn't know just how much of a famous historical figure Collot was, so I had no idea how likely it was that Chauvelin would have met him before. In fact, I kept waiting for a mention of whether or not Chauvelin had met him in person, because that would have been the obvious clue to whether I was right or wrong.

But there is the way Collot is described as a big guy all covered in filth that's just so typical of Percy's disguises, and also he and Percy don't interact at all in the book until the very end, so I was strung along for a good while.

I'm just curious if anyone else had the same idea.

[bitchbrisket]

Thanks to @slightlyintimidating for tagging me in the fic writer 20 questions game, I haven’t done one of these in a couple of years.

How many works do you have on AO3? 515

What’s your total AO3 word count?

Too many words to count?

What fandoms do you write for?

In the past there was a bit of Wicked, the three musketeers, more recently the Miss Fisher murder mysteries, Berena, Mamma Mia every so often but for the past few years it’s been a smidge of ghosts, an occasional foray into the wheel of time, a hefty dose of the worst witch (both 1998 and 2017) and a sprinkling of the Mallorca files.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

All of these are Berena. Mainly AU which is great. I do love an AU. I’m fond of most of these fics.

Lonely hearts of Holby (fics featuring radio are criminally underrated)

Love endures & love is kind (what possessed me to write a vicar ffs?)

Wolfesbane take me away (this turned out better than I realised it would)

Oh Major (smutty smut smut smut)

Love of a lifetime (I think I would have written this a bit differently, in hindsight) .

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always. Comments and kudos are never guaranteed and someone took time out of their day to show me that they appreciate my scribbles.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I’m not a fan of ending with angst but I have written a couple that end in death or a breakup usually because the character has been killed off. The most recent was won’t find the answer by staring at the stars.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them.

Do you get hate on fic?

Every so often. Got a bit more a few years ago but I’ve recently had an anon who’d acted as if I’d forced her to read the story under duress and she decided I had psychological problems. Absolute lol.

Do you write smut?

I do. I try not to repeat the same phrases and wording all the time and I have a list of phrases I can’t stand reading so that makes it even more of a challenge.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I’ve written a handful of crossovers. The most popular one I’ve done is Chessy from the parent trap and Miss Honey from Matilda. Someone on tumblr shipped them so I wrote the story and gifted it to them.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I contributed to one with my friend Jaqui (I never knew you were the someone waiting for me)

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Got lots; Serena Campbell & Bernie Wolfe, Siuan Sanche & Moiraine Damodred, Ada Cackle & Hecate Hardbroom, Agatha Cackle & Dimity Drill, Maria (?) & Baroness Schrader, Elizabeth McMillan & Concetta Strano, Bill Anderson & Harry Bright.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

I deleted it in the end but I was trying to write a crossover with Poirot and Mrs Bradley. But I’m terrible at writing murder mysteries so I gave up on it in the end. I just know that the butler didn’t do it.

What are your writing strengths?

I’ve been told that I write great comedy one liners. That my writing isn’t cliched and the way I describe a character’s emotions and actions feels very real.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Extending dialogue for a long time is a struggle for me. I do well without much dialogue. Feels like a script and it seems wooden to me. And action. Can't write any action whatsoever.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Fine. I’ve done it occasionally.

First fandom you wrote for?

I think Elisabeth the musical?

Favourite fic you’ve written?

I can’t pick just one. But I really enjoyed writing Sweet nothings & Wind's in my eyes, I heed your call

Tagging: @batnbreakfast @marvelousmadmadammim @sosaywefrakkinall711 @hovercraft79

Questions to respond to:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fic?

9. Do you write smut?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

[miscreantsmadness]

Day 1

Main quests day 1

Summary

The player first arrives at Moorland Stables and gets introduced to everyone working there, and of course their very own horse! We also help Thomas sabotage GED so that he gets more time to figure out how to handle the situation. Eventually he gets the title deed back, but a masked rider steals it from him! Luckily, we manage to get it back. 

We help Ydris set up his circus. 

We try to deliver some buns to the castle, but no one answers the door. We eventually meet up with the butler for a delivery of wine samples and he explains that The Baroness has been very busy. He tells us that if we want to explore the the Equestrian Center we should speak to Linda, but quickly corrects himself and instead says that we should speak to some other stable girl. 

Complete quest dialogue below the cut

Justin: Hi! You must be Name. Nice to meet you and welcome to Moorland! My name is Justin and I run this stable with my dad. 

It’s pretty hectic right now... A lot of things are happening here, but forget about that for now! You’re new and I don’t want to bother you with out problems during your stay. 

Over there is your horse who will be your horse for the summer. Take him for a quick ride so that you get to know each other. Ride off and talk to Maya who is in the yard next door. 

Maya: Hi, I’m Maya! Nice to meet you, Name! It’s great that you chose to come to Moorland! Welcome! 

This is the best place ever to spend your summer vacation. I’m doing a bit of work in the stables around here to earn some extra Jorvik Shillings, it’s always good to have pocket money. Come back to the stables later and I’m sure we can find you a job. 

There is so much to show you and talk to you about, but first you should go and speak to Jenna. She can tell you a little more about how things work here in Moorland. 

Jenna: Hi, Name! I’ve been expecting you!

Hi! You’re Name? Welcome to Moorland Stables! 

Normally Thomas Moorland shows new visitors around, but he’s very busy right now. I don’t know if you’ve heard about the horrible company, GED, who want to demolish the stables and build luxury condos? 

But enough about that. Before I let you ride off beyond the stable gates, you have to show me that you can ride. There is a small yard behind me. Show me that you know the basics and ride around the square track. Ride one lap and come back to me! 

Fantastic! Nice work on the square track. You and Your Horse really worked as a team. Keep it up! 

I think you’re ready for some bigger challenges. As promised, you’re now allowed to gallop freely outside the stable walls! 

A while later the same day

Justin: My dad, Thomas, wanted to meet you. Apparently he wants to ask you about something important. I’m scared it might be about our troubles here. 

Mr. Kembell, a nasty boss from the company, GED, is doing everything he can to evict us so that he can demolish the stables and build luxury condos here. We’re still trying to figure out what we can do to stop him, but he’s as slippery as an eel. 

Thomas: Thank you for coming so fast, Name. The situation with Mr. Kembell from GED is getting out of hand and I need your help. 

I just heard that he has almost convinced the Council that GED has the rights to the land and there is hardly any time left to stop him. Right now his creepy surveyors are setting up their equipment so that they can make a detailed map for the planned demolition. 

I’m the true owner of this land but I need time to prove that to the council. 

Can you help me save Moorland stables?

We have to delay Mr. Kembell’s surveyors to buy some time. All you have to do is turn off their GPS equipment. They’re setting them up in the area outside the stable, between here and the hills where their construction site is. 

I’ve marked more or less where the GPS equipment is on your map. Good luck! 

Splendid! Good work! I truly appreciate it. That will delay them for a while. Now I’ve at least got a little time to build my case against Mr. Kembell for the Council. 

What am I going to do, Name? Mr. Kembell is really putting pressure on me with all these legal documents. I’m sure I could stop him if I just had a little more time. Hmm...If he wants to play dirty I’ll show him that he has met his match. 

Let’s see, ride past the blacksmith’s and up towards the hills. Along the road there is a power distribution box, just where the road turns at the construction site. It should be possible to turn off that horrible sign by turning off the power there. Here, I’ll mark it on your map. 

Ha ha! I think I can hear that nasty man shouting all the way over here! Now I have a bit more time - just what I needed. Now we don’t have to see that horrible GED sign anymore! 

All I need to do is prove that I actually own the land. Then I can stop Mr. Kembell. There is a deed to Moorland Stables that my father was given over fifty years ago by The Baroness of Silverglade, who lives in the castle. 

I can’t find the documents here but I think that our old accountant, Mrs. Holdsworth, must know where the title deed is - she knows everything about our business. She retired last year and now spends her days taking care of the flowers outside her little cottage. Go see her, she should be able to tell you where the documents are. 

Mrs. Holdsworth: Why hello, dear. What can I do for you?

Hmm...Let me think. I believe there was a deed of ownership, but it got lost some years ago. When Thomas Moorland’s wife, Catherine, died in childbirth, Thomas lost all interest in papers and documents and just wanted to spend time with his horses. All the paperwork was put in a chest and sent over to Catherine’s father, and there’s a good chance that the title deed was in that chest. Her dad is Jasper Holbrook and the child that was born is, of course, Justin. 

Jasper blames Thomas for Catherine’s death and they haven’t spoken in twenty years. It’s a tragedy that this feud has been going on for so long, but if anyone has the title it would be old man Jasper. It won’t be easy convincing him to part with it, though. Good luck, dear!

Jasper: Well you found me! And now you can leave me alone again!

Bah! What do I care if Moorland Stables is razed to the ground? That place killed my daughter and I have hated the Moorlands for the better part of twenty years. If you think you can change that you’re welcome to try, but I won’t help you. 

Justin: Hi Name! Have you been to see my grandfather, Jasper? That crazy old man hates us and nothing would please him more than to see our stable razed to the ground. 

I don’t know how I could make that old fool of a grandfather change his mind. I know that my mom really loved my dad, Thomas. What happened was a terrible tragedy. 

I have these letters from my mom and dad that they wrote to each other before they got married. They prove it was true love. I’ve been thinking of showing them to my grandfather, Jasper, but never really dared. If he saw them he would realize that Catherine and Thomas really loved each other. Maybe you can show him? 

Take these letters and show them to Jasper, they should make some kind of impression on him!

Jasper: What? Are you here again? What’s with all the papers? 

Let me have a look at that - it looks really old. 

I recognize that handwriting...

Is it true? Were they really written by my daughter? 

When I read these letter from by beloved daughter, my heart weeps! I’ve been such a proud idiot all these years and it’s cost me my grandson...Sob sob! 

I have the title deed and of course I will give it to Thomas Moorland. That slime ball, Mr. Kembell, is a disgrace to this island. Here is the key to my deposit box in Fort Pinta - you’ll find the title deed inside. Collect it and bring the key back to me before you say anything to Thomas Moorland. 

From now on you can ride across my land whenever you want. 

Thanks for getting the title deed! These are the old legal documents that show that Thomas is the rightful owner of Moorland Stables. 

And you brought my key back too. Great, thank you. Thanks once again! 

Well, what do you know? My frosty heart is now warm, after twenty years in the cold. Young lady, I give you this title deed to Moorland Stables, you have certainly earned it. Thomas will definitely be happy now. 

Thomas: Holy horses! You have saved the stables from demolition! 

Finally, I can prove that I’m the rightful owner of Moorland Stables and it’s all thanks to you. I will show this to the council and then Mr. Kembell will have no choice but to stop construction of the new buildings. 

I don’t know how to thank you, I owe you more than I could ever repay you. 

A while later the same day

Maya: I don’t suppose you lost a horse? A big foofy girl with a black coat, a draft horse I think? Sorry, I can’t be more specific but we don’t see a lot of horses like that around here, especially not ones with an attitude like that. She’s so...

Y’know what? You should probably just go check her out for yourself, see if you can find any leads about who she belongs to. I’d rather this get sorted before the boss finds out. We’ve got a lot of new arrivals here at the riding camp who don’t know their way around horses the way you do, so it’s sort of a liability thing. 

She’s over at the dock on the beach just west of here. 

Player: This must be the horse Maya was talking about. 

(There’s a note attached to the bridle). 

“Property of the AMAZING YDRIS! If found, please return to Nilmer’s Highland along with any cargo and you shall be rewarded handsomely” 

“P.S. -- In case of stubbornness, use cookies”

“P.P.S. -- But not too many, no matter how much she begs.” 

Ydris: Stop! Do not tell me who you are. The Amazing Ydris knows all! 

I am Ydris. “Ydris the Amazing!” “The Magnificent!” “The Phenomenal!” Call me anything you wish as long as it’s not “ordinary.” 

And you must be...Xanthippe? Yosephine? Zoriya? ...Name? I must have a little psychic power after all. 

A great fool once said, “the noblest art is that of making others happy.” That is just what I intend to do here, in Jorvik -- make people happy. And, who knows, perhaps someday the joy I bring can spread to the entire world! Wouldn’t that be grand? 

How do I hope to spread my gospel of delight? By following in the footsteps of the aforementioned fool. With a CIRCUS! 

And what a circus it shall be! Magic, miracles, mischief! Your every dream will come true. And of course, this being Jorvik, there will be a special place for horses. 

But I can’t do it alone. That is why I sent dear Zee on a very important mission. Did you find what I asked for, my four-legged friend? 

Zee: *nudge* 

Ydris: Name, if you would be so good as to open the box and place the contents on the pedestal there, I will show you another good trick that I know. 

Voila, a simple wooden mask! Masks are one of the most powerful forms of magic. They allow one to become someone else. They can render the wearer’s true self invisible. So, perhaps this mask is not so “simple” after all?

Xin, what a proper fool you are! It’s no wonder you’re my favorite companion! 

Zee: *snort*

Ydris: Of course, Zee. You are also my favorite. We are all one big happy family of misfits. No need to be jealous! 

Xin, say hello to our new friend Name, brought into our circle as if by destiny. Now now, don’t be shy! 

Xin: .............

Ydris: Merci, my sweet. 

Now that we are all properly introduced, let us det down to brass tacks. 

The four of us are going to build a circus together. Actually, make that five of us. Your Horse is part of our family now too. 

Zee: *glare*

Ydris: First up, the big top! Name, if you wouldn’t mind pulling the tent out of the crate over there -- it’s not there is it? Hold on, I know it’s around here somewhere. Whoops! Well, one of those has to be the right one. Step to it, Name! Find our tent! 

After building the tent

Ydris: Our big top is missing something... Of course! The cherry on top of our sundae of dreams. A luminous sign to welcome my guests to the show. Now where did I put the sign...?

Perfect! Our circus shall light up the night, bringing in guests like moths to a flame! Yes, a conflagration of delights! We will put on such shows here, the likes of which this world has never seen. And I have YOU to thank. 

Let no one tell you that you’re just another silly girl with a head for horses. Stick with me, my dear girl, and we’ll bing down the house! 

A while later the same day

Thomas: What in the world? A masked rider just came by and stole the original deed! Ride after him! He’s over there by the gate! Hurry!! HURRY Name! Catch him! 

Well done. I will try to hide the papers better this time, sorry. There was something strange about the horse? Ghost-like, you say? Um...I really can’t say - it all happened so fast. I’m sure it was just a regular horse with an unusually nasty owner. 

I need you to visit the town hall for me, ok? These copies of the deed should be there if something should happen to the original. There must never again be the slightest doubt that I own this land! 

Here are the documents. Hold on to them tightly! 

Council man: And what have we here, young lady? A deed from Mr. Moorland, I see. I’ll file these away safely. 

A while later the same day

Harold: Once a month we deliver a jar of cookies to the castle. These cardamom cookies are greatly appreciated by The Baroness. Will you take them over there, please? Ride there on thet beautiful horse of yours and you’ll get there in no time. 

Player: Nobody is answering the door. There’s nothing to do but head back to the store. Unless I want to taste one of those cardamom cookies...They smell divine. 

As nobody is answering the door, I guess the best thing to do is head back to the store. 

Harold: The castle was closed? Nobody answered the door? You know, lately there have been some rumors about that place. Someone said they heard what sounded lika a young girl crying. Frankly, I don’t know what to think. Lately, The Baroness has seemed anxious. 

Have I heard the crying? I can’t say I have. Actually, it kind of sounds like a silly ghost story to me. The Baroness’ family, the Silverglades, run way back in history. They have been the most influential family in Jorvik since...I don’t know when, maybe hundreds of years. 

Here are some wine bottle samples that The Baroness has requested. See if you can deliver them to the butler, he should be at the vineyard. Ride carefully! The bottles are fragile. 

Godfrey: Miss? Oh, the bottle samples, great. Thank you. What? Yes, the Winter has been hard indeed, for the manor as well. How is The Baroness? You heard that she was very busy - I see. Well, one could say that she’s had a lot on her mind lately with GED exploiting the land and all. She’s building a new racetrack as well, which of course takes a lot of time and effort. But I’ll see that she gets these. Certainly, miss. Good bye. 

Sorry? A stable? Why of course we have a stable here: the Silverglade Equestrian Center - the noblest stable in Jorvik, miss! You come from Moorland? Well, you should indeed pay a visit to the Equestrian Center: it houses some of the best performing horses on the island. 

Why don’t you speak to Linda...Hold on...What am I saying - not Linda! Ha, ha! Not Linda, miss. There are other stable girls over there, however. I think one of them is called Judy. Judy will be able to help you. 

Judy: Hi, Name! Of course I know who you are, I’m so glad you’re here! I’m Judy by the way. I spoke to Thomas Moorland earlier and he told me that you and Your Horse are really great together, like you’ve truly bonded. That makes me happy since You Horse is the horse I used to ride when I first started out as a stable girl at Moorland. He’s a wonderful horse and deserves a rider that understands him. 

Anyway, we’re short on people here since Linda went away. Thomas said that if you happened to come by, I should ask you if you would be willing to help out a bit here. 

End of day one. 

----------------------------------

Masterpost  - find all the parts of the main quests here

FAQ

[charlesoberonn]

Dr. Destiny #3

Dr. Destiny #1 Dr. Destiny #2

A few years a ago, a Necromancer going by the name The Enchantress has raised an army of the dead and attempted to use it to take over the world.

After her death, her army remained. No longer under her spell, the ghouls, zombies, skeletons, phantoms and ghosts started wandering the Earth aimlessly, looking for a purpose.

Dr. Destiny, a graduate Necromancer, decided to take it upon herself to return as many of the undead as she can back to the other side where they came from, and grant them peace.

Vena Destiny sighed as she sunk back into her chair and stared at the ceiling. She glanced down at her desk, rolling her eyes at the mountains of paperwork. As it turns out, putting the dead back in the ground was much easier than legally changing their undead status. At least half of Dr. Destiny’s time was wasted on verifying death certificates, calling graveyards about their missing skeletons, and removing her patients from various ‘undead lists’ posted by paranoid small town sheriffs and lazy district officials.

She was just about done with today’s mound of papers when she heard a knock on her office door. She straightened her back and shuffled to a sitting position.

“Dr. Destiny? Hello?” she heard a feminine voice from the other side of the door.

“I am not available right now. Can you not read the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign?” she seemed more annoyed than surprised. “Unless you’re a Wraith and your entire existence is pain and dark desires, you’re gonna have to make an appointment like everybody else. And I would know if you were a wraith. Their screams are unbearable.”

“I’m not a Wraith, I’m sorry.” the woman opened the door to a crack. Dr. Destiny got a good look at her. Bright red hair in two pigtails, a t-shirt and tight jeans.

Vena shuffled awkwardly in her chair, and began tidying up the unsightly pile of paper on her desk. “Oh no, no, I’m sorry. Please do come in.” she coughed, trying to hide her slight blush. “What can I help you with?”

The woman walked inside, looking around the messy office. The carpet was crooked and the cabinets filled a variety of items were dusty. She was about the same age as Dr. Destiny, but a bit taller, and looked to be in much better shape. Vena couldn’t help but stare. As the woman sat down on the other side of her desk, she quickly averted her gaze and tried to look professional.

“Well, you’ll think it’s a bit silly...” the woman rubbed her forearm. “I’m Lilac, by the way.” Dr. Destiny noticed the antique-looking silver watch on her wrist.

“I’m not gonna think that.” Dr. Destiny said with a sweet voice. “I promise, Lilac.”

“Are you sure?” Lilac said as she sat down. “Because this is a really important matter.” 

“I’m sure. Say it.” Destiny leaned in.

“What do you know about the...” Lilac whispered. “...Enchantress conspiracies?”

Dr. Destiny giggled. “Which one? The ones about how she was a government agent? The one where it wasn’t a government agent who killed her? Or the one where she was from outer space?”

Lilac blushed and frowned. “I knew you would make fun of me.”

Destiny winced. “No, no... I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it... please. What conspiracy are you talking about?”

“Okay...” Lilac took a deep breath and her voice became serious. “You probably heard of it. The Crystal Shards Hypothesis.”

As she heard the words, Dr. Destiny’s spine tingled. She intertwined her fingers and leaned her elbows against the desk. “I have heard of it. I don’t know if to believe it.”

“Do you trust the government, Dr. Destiny?” Lilac asked, leaning in as well.

Dr. Destiny gestured to the mountains of paperwork on her desk. “I have a complicated relationship with government, as you can see.”

“Do you believe their official story? It’s full of holes. They never showed The Enchantress’ body. Nor did they confirm her death with a third-party Necromancer. They didn’t even raise her soul for questioning, as far as we know. They just killed her and that’s it. How realistic do you think that is?”

“I don’t know how realistic it is, but it seems a lot more realistic than the Enchantress putting her soul in a crystal before death and then breaking it, and spreading the shards around the world.” Dr. Destiny said. “If I was the Enchantress and I somehow survived my assassination, I would’ve just go live on an island or something.”

“That’s what I thought too. Until I found this...” Lilac pulled something from her pocket, it was a crumpled envelope. “It’s a clue to the location of one of the shards.”

Dr. Destiny examined the envelope. She opened it and began reading it. It was written in very archaic language, but the ink paper was modern. “Do you know who wrote this?”

“Look at the sigil.” Lilac pointed at the signature in the bottom of the paper. “It’s an order from one of her generals. The Ink Baroness.”

“Yes. I see. How do we know if it’s the real thing?” Dr. Destiny examined the paper up and down.

“Does that mean you believe me?” Lilac smiled enthusiastically, a positive change from the gloomy and serious mood she was in earlier.

“I’m considering it.” Dr. Destiny said. “Listen, if we’re going to do this, we need to do it properly.” she explained. “There’s a method to this. When a spirit is possessing an object, you can’t just pull it out of there or trap it. You need to verify three things first.”

“Presence. Identity. And intent. I know.” Lilac responded.

“If you use the wrong spell on the spirit, you could end up being badly hurt.” Dr. Destiny continued.

“Well, I think once we find the shard we could verify presence using a simple detection spell. We could then question the Ink Baroness about the identity and intent.” Lilac smiled cockily.

“You’re very knowledgeable. I like it.” Dr. Destiny smiled, blushing a little. “You know what? I think we can do it.”

“Yes!” Lilac raised her arm excitedly. “How do we start?”

“Unfortunately, with paperwork.” Dr. Destiny sighed as she pulled a few papers out of her drawer. “This is a standard expedition contract. I think it should be enough for now. We’ll hash out more details on our next meeting.” she said as she handed Lilac the hefty stack of paper.

Lilac started humming as she looked over the contract and signed her name at the bottom. She smiled as she handed the signed contract back.

“Great.” Dr. Destiny smiled before her smile faded. “Now, one last question.” her voice became serious. “Why me?”

“Well, to be honest...” Lilac blushed. “You were my first choice.” she smiled shyly. “I just thought you’d be the right person to help me find the Enchantress Shards.”

“Thank you.” Dr. Destiny said as she straightened her papers. “That’s all I needed.”

And with that, Dr. Destiny shot her arm forward and a glowing green light burst from the open palm of her hand, aimed directly at Lilac’s chest. Vena didn’t bat an eyelid as the burst of green energy penetrated through Lilac’s chest and went out through the other side, pulling a pale ghostly figure out with it.

The ghostly figure screamed, her dark echoes filling the room, rattling objects, and making colors disappear. Meanwhile, Lilac’s eyes closed and her now motionless body slumped forward in her chair before Destiny caught her.

“How did you know?! How?!” the ghostly figure snared at Destiny, her long white hairs wriggling like snakes, her tattered ethereal gown blowing in the wind.

“When you entered, I already knew you were present.” Destiny gestured towards her door. “My ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign has spirit detection magic that alerts me when a spirit enters my office.” Dr. Destiny smiled smugly. “Then you were stupid enough to give me your identity.” she showed the spirit two pieces of paper, the Baroness’ letter, and the contract. Both of them had identical handwriting. “And then you professed to me your intent.”

The Baroness screamed in agony again, Dr. Destiny’s spell binding and crawling around her like rope of green light.

“Presence. Identity. Intent. You said so yourself.” Dr. Destiny grabbed Lilac’s wrist, removing the antique watch from her hand. “This used to belong to you, I presume, when you were still alive. Nostalgic, perhaps? Seems like a fitting place to put your soul as any.” she raised up the watch and closed her eyes. The green ropes started pulling on the Baroness, dragging her down into the watch.

“No! You shall not! I shall return! She shall return!” the Baroness screamed, her voice fading away as she was sucked into the antique watch. The colors returned to the room.

Dr. Destiny walked up and put the watch inside her cabinet, alongside other possessed and mystical items. She turned her head as she saw movement from the desk. Lilac was waking up.

“Hey. I’m sorry she did this to you.” Vena said frowning.

“She was... whispering, such awful things in my ears. Making me do what she wanted... it was horrible.” Lilac said, rubbing her head and her wrist.

“Yeah. Those Enchantress types aren’t a very courteous bunch.”

“No kidding.” Lilac chuckled. “I’m sorry I made you go through this.”

“Nonsense. Hey listen, if you really wanna make it up to me, maybe go for a coffee later?”

Lilac blushed as she moved her red hair out of her eyes. “I’d like that.”

[fae-fucker]

Zenith: Chapter 17

Andi enters Dark Matter and it’s all dingy and weird and there’s a bunch of unexplained aliens everywhere, prompting Andi to think that nobody would recognize her even if she wore a sign on her forehead.

Meaning that her bragging about how people would kill each other to capture her in the last chapter was useless.

Thanks for wasting my time, Shinsay.

The individuals in this pub are all war veterans and very fucked up and Andi angsts about it.

“This,” Dex said, spreading his tattooed arms wide and pulling Andi from her thoughts, “is the gem of the Olen System.”

“You haven’t seen very many gems, then.”

Oh no she di-unt!

Seriously, is this supposed to be the witty banter? I’m weeping.

Dex is having a great time in this place and Andi angsts about how she prefers "solitude and silence” over going outside, which is probably the most relatable thing that’s come out of this idiot’s inner monologue so far. We also find out that she’s used to attending fancy balls, because even when the story is about space pirates, Shinsay can’t stop sucking SJM’s crusty dick.

Andi also angsts about how nasty Dark Matter is. 

Bitch, I thought you were a space pirate? The Bloody Baroness? This is where you should be at home. Why are you whining like a little baby?

Apparently they’re all in one big room, but they first have to find Dex’s informant, so Andi suggests that they split up. Did they not decide on a meeting spot? God, these people are so incompetent. 

Also, Andi’s team are there as well. I don’t ... I don’t even ... Why were they all worried about leaving Andi with Dex in the previous chapter?

WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

“Soyina can be a little...off-putting,” Dex said. “The two of you have that in common.”

Andi gave him her trademark glare.

“I simply meant that you can both terrify any man with a single glance.”

She flashed him her teeth.

TrADeMarK glARe

God, this dialogue could kill a man to death.

Dex bribes the bartender for info about his informant (god, all of this is so fucking stupid and badly planned), though Andi was ready to beat the info out of her. 

Subtle. 

“There are other ways to get information, you know,” Andi said as Dex turned back to look at her.

He threw his head back and laughed so hard, she got a glimpse of a chipped tooth in the back of his mouth. Andi was pleased to see it. She’d broken it with her elbow long ago, and it was worth the tiny scar she still had as a trophy.That was the day she’d completely disarmed him during training for the first time. The day that led to their first kiss, which led to more kisses, and a night spent...

“Why are you laughing?” Andi growled.

Dex held out a hand for her to pass by, feigning courtesy she knew he didn’t possess. “There’s one thing you never did learn from me, Androma.”

“Loyalty?” Andi asked. “How to keep my mouth shut?”

“No.” Dex patted her on the cheek, then sidestepped her swing at his face. “How to have fun.”

I had to read that, and now so do you. 

Also, that implies that Andi learned it from somebody else and that Dex doesn’t actually know how to have fun. Which the book seems to realize, based on Andi’s reply. 

It also implies that Dex thinks bribing people is ... fun?

We switch to Dex’s POV.

The last time he’d seen Soyina, they’d shared three bottles of Griss and locked themselves in the bathroom of a wealthy Tenebran’ s mansion until morning.

The night had been glorious, but when he’d woken the next day, his Krevs were missing, and his pants along with them. He was tied to the golden toilet pipes, all his glory out for the poor servants to see.

HIS GLORY 

I’M CACKLING

Can someone please take the word “glory” and “glorious” from Shinsay? To stop them from using them in quick succession if nothing else.

And of course, despite Dex being an alien, I guess he’s got universally compatible junk? How convenient.

Soyina has “migratory” tattoos, which change location constantly. Not really tattoos then, are they?

Soyina wants to take a proper look at Andi, but:

Andi didn’t move, a silent statue in the darkness.

As opposed to a ... very chatty statue, I suppose.

Dex is worried that his two hot, dangerous exes will team up and fuck shit up together. But we all know that’s far too cool for Shinsay.

Soyina demands to see Andi’s dumb face in exchange for help, because

Soyina had a passion for darkness, and Androma Racella’s soul was the darkest of them all.

I’m gonna piss my fucking pants. 

Of course, both Soyina and Dex admire how hot Andi is, and Soyina (whom I’ll just call Soy from now on) reveals that she knows that Andi is the Bloody Baroness, which is apparently a secret because Andi acts surprised. 

I’m ... I’m so fucking confused, y’all. 

Turns out that Soy works for Nor as one of the torturers on Lunamere, and Soy asks Andi if she’s ever tortured anyone and how good she’d be at it because she carries all this DAAAHKNESS inside her.

I can’t believe two adult women wrote this in all seriousness. Are we sure they’re not taking the piss?

Soy waxes orgasmic about how fun torture is, and reveals that she’s also a Revivalist, which means that she can bring people back from the dead as long as no more than three minutes has passed since the time of death. 

How does she do that? Uuuuuh “with science, dear girl!”

No, really. That’s exactly what we get for an explanation.

Ya didn’t even try there, huh.

Also, if Andi is young enough for Soy to call her “girl,” how old is Soy? Did she bone down a much younger man with Dex? Damn, Soy here is a cougar. Or a felon. I guess she for sure is the second, being a torturer for a dictator and all.

Dex’s head was beginning to spin, wondering how he’d ever taken an interest in a woman who was so clearly off her axis.

He glanced sideways at Andi.

Two women, then.

Shinsay, beating the reader with their 500-page book: THEY’RE BRUTAL AND EDGY!! DID YOU GET THAT, YOU PIECE OF SHIT?! YOU WORTHLESS, SPINELESS SLUG?! ADMIRE THEM!! BE IN AWE!! SO BRUTAL AND EDGY!! BLOODTHIRST AND ANGER!! ARARARARARARARARAR!

Anywhoo, half of Soy’s payment for helping them has already been sent to her, but the other half is ... Well, this:

“I haven’t forgotten...” Dex felt heat sliding into his cheeks as he glanced sideways at Andi, then back at Soyina. “The other part of your payment, you’ll receive...”

“Now,” Soyina said, smiling like a predator. Her lips pressed together in a pout as she saw the look of horror on Dex’s face. “A deal’s a deal, bounty hunter. I’ll be waiting.” She stood up from the table, her chair scraping against the floor as she walked away.

Dex watched her slip into the bathroom, waggling a finger at him as she disappeared behind the closed door.

Who wouldn’t want to fuck this guy in the public bathroom of the most disgusting pub in the galaxy?

Imagine his face right next to yours. Innit a dream come true?

“You can’t be serious,” Andi said, her face aghast. “You’re actually paying her with...”

“I’m not paying her. I’m simply offering her memories,” Dex said. He stood up, mussing his hair with a hand as he backed away from the table. “You should know, Androma, how much fun five minutes with me can be.”

“Three minutes,” she said. “On a good day.”

1) Sounds a lot like Soy thinks you’re paying her.

2) Shinsay, if you’re not mature enough to let your characters say the word “sex,” then maybe don’t write about sex. When they constantly make references to their nights of passion but you won’t even let them say the word, it looks kind of childish, like you want the prestige of your characters being sexy and mature but can’t say the word because it’s too dirty. Just a thought. 

We go back to Andi’s POV, and Soy, no joke, calls Andi “Dark Heart” while they discuss the Lunamere prison.

Shinsay ... bleapse ... stop this ...

There were no elevators to reach the seventeen floors of the prison, and each stairwell would only allow them to descend one level. Andi and Dex would have to traverse the entirety of each hall—and dispatch any guards they encountered—in order to reach the next stairwell down.

This sounds like incredibly dumb and inconvenient design but I guess Shinsay really want that cool action movie shot of their two faves fighting through SEVENTEEN corridors of guards, because I bet Valen will be on the lowest level.

Andi angsts.

In her mind, she saw herself four years ago, seated on a marble bench while hundreds of Arcardian soldiers stared back at her. Classmates, who now hissed her name like a curse. Teachers and trainers, whose bodies were rigid with hatred for her failure.

She saw a silver gavel gripped in an angry fist, the boom as it came down like a war hammer. The general’s twisted expression as he stared down at her, and Kalee’ s mother with tears in her eyes, a sadness burning so deep that it scalded like the still-fresh lacerations on Andi’s wrist.

Guilty, the judge had intoned. Guilty of treason.

So ... if a bodyguard and a general’s daughter get in an accident and the daughter dies ... Why is the bodyguard accused of treason?

It was an accident. Also, treason implies that the general is the leader of the country/planet, and that Andi tried to murder him. But that’s not what happened. Andi didn’t deliberately try to murder him, she was in an accident which killed his daughter, who was a dear friend of hers.

I doubt that Shinsay are trying to imply that Andi’s sentence is the work of some corrupted officials who wanted her dead for some reason (which would explain only some of the stupidity), so none of this makes any goddamn sense. 

The plan involves Andi and Dex offering themselves up for the prison guards to just take them in, getting locked up in separate but conveniently close cells, and Soy getting them out of there so they can find Valen within an hour, before Soy sounds the alarm to save herself from Nor’s wrath and not look like an accomplice.

Now ... y’all don’t need me to explain how stupid this sounds, do you?

We’ll see if their plan really is this dumb before I start ranting for real. 

The prison only has one entrance and one exit -- the former is for the prisoners, the latter for the corpses. Andi and Dex are supposed to exit, with Valen, through the latter.

“That, my dear friends, is my playground. My palace of pain. The prisoners come in, and I pick and choose the tools that will make them sing. And when they die? They go out that doorway on a transport ship. Up and away, out to float with the stars.”

God, Soy is so fucking edgy, we get it, Shinsay.

Andi hates that she’s so edgy, because Andi has a pure soul.

[Andi] killed to stay safe, to keep her crew alive when all the other options ran out. Afterward, she meditated and mourned the deaths. In sleep, the faces of the dead haunted her. But Soyina smiled about stealing lives, as if each death only upped her pride.

SHINSAY YOU CAN’T HAVE YOUR CAKE AND FUCK IT TOO.

IS SHE A RUTHLESS, BLOODTHIRSTY MURDERER OR IS SHE A SAD WOOBIE WHO HATES WHAT SHE DOES!? SHE CAN’T BE BOTH THE PROUD AND EPIC BLOODY BARONESS AND A SMOL BEAN WHO JUST WANTS TO MAKE IT ALL STOP.

YOU FUCKING HACKS. 

Andi asks if Soy can smuggle in their weapons, and Soy is like “my mind is my weapon my good bitch,” which makes Andi think about how she’d totally beat her in a fistfight.

Alright, Andi, put your dick away.

“My cuffs,” Andi said, glancing down at them, “cannot be removed. You’ll see to it that they stay intact.”

Not a question. Rather, a demand.

If they can’t be removed, what does Soy have to do with them staying intact?

I swom to jon.

Andi thinks this is all too easy (you don’t say?) and asks Soy why she’s helping them. Soy and her family were apparently visiting the Olen system when the war began, and the Unified Systems refused them reentry in fear of them being spies, so they were forced to stay in the Olen system and join the war. 

So uuuh ... how old is Soy? Cuz her fucking Dex is kinda gross now that I think about it.

“[...] Many would think my allegiance would still be to the Unified Systems, that I would hate the Olen System even more for forcing us to fight in a war against our own home planets. At first, I did hate Olen. But my allegiances changed when I saw what the Unified Systems put the people of Olen through for nearly a decade.” She sighed. “Ah, well. I guess I’m considering this job a chance to leave Olen behind, head back to what was once my home and rally for change in my own ways.”

Can someone please explain to me how this answers Andi’s question?

Cuz I still have no fucking idea what her motivation for helping them is, and I’ve read this paragraph at least five fucking times. 

Does she want to return to the Unified Systems, which she hates, to rally for change to help the Olen system, which forced her to fight for them in a war she wasn’t a part of?

And how exactly will helping these people get Soy out of Olen, when she’s clearly planning to stay in Nor’s good graces and enjoys her work as a torturer?

What the fuck?

Soy makes a joke about how no matter what happens to Dex and Andi, they’ll be meeting her in the corpse pile one way or another.

Cold dread slithered its way up and down Andi’s spine.

Dead or alive. Andi hoped for the latter.

Uhh ... Thanks for ... clarifying? 

She winked at Dex. Before she left, she leaned down and whispered into Andi’s ear.

“We didn’t, by the way. Earlier, I mean. Your comrade wanted to whine like a baby about his feelings for you.”

Oh my god. Are you telling me that this badass war veteran and torturer and necromancer accepted Dex’s whiny manpain as payment instead of a quick fuck?

Shinsay, you goddamn hacks. Are you too cowardly to make Dex fuck anyone else than Andi, to make him sell his body?

Cheap and garbage. That’s what your book is.

Goddamn cowards.

Soy leaves and then Dex asks Andi if she trusts him. Her heart flutters or whatever, but she says no, which Dex approves of. He tells her to play along with him and then this happens:

He grinned like he was holding on to a secret.

Then he lurched forward and, in one sweeping movement, mashed his lips up against hers.

Non-consensual kissing?

Happy Valentine’s Day, motherfuckers.

[dragon-moms]

Entry 92 - Baroness

Conquest continues.

Early in the morning, before I normally arose, there was a loud pounding reverberating through the halls. I tried to ignore it. Soon, it stopped. Myrmidon must have dealt with the situation. But to my surprise, Myrmidon soon appeared at the door to my chambers.

“Excuse me, my lady, but there is a situation I believe you should be involved in,” they said. “Could you come to the lab?”

“...yes…” I said, getting up. “Is everything alright?” I glanced to the wall where I kept a staff for more… dangerous emergencies.

“At the moment,” Myrmidon said. “Gloria and your apprentice have arrived.”

I nodded, and then took a moment. “But not the mother? Merry?”

Myrmidon smiled a smile that failed to cover how worried they were. “No, Merry isn’t here. I have been told they will explain once you are in the lab and that is a matter that will affect the entire family, if I may use that term. I have invited Dagger as well, though I do not know if ey will show.”

“Alright,” I said. I looked, then, to my wing prosthetics.

“Shall I help you get ready, my lady?”

“It should not be necessary for the discussion,” I said.

They started preparing to strap them on anyway. “You will feel more prepared to deal with potentially difficult news.”

“Difficult news…” I said.

“I… cannot think of another reason why Philly and Merry would be separated, besides your lessons,” Myrmidon said, securing everything. “So it must be difficult.”

Soon I had my claw covers on, and we entered the lab. My apprentice was sitting on a large pile of objects, many of them books, which were not on my worktable before. The Council, Gloria, stood next to it, looking exhausted but determined not to let it show. She looked up as Myrmidon and I walked in. “Hey,” she said.

“Hello…” I said.

“How are things?” Gloria asked.

“...normal,” I said.

“Well, we’re about to make it not normal. Sorry about that,” she said, sighing.

“I need to stay with you for a while,” Philly said, standing atop the book she was previously sitting on. “It’s important.”

“You may spend the day if necessary,” I said, wondering why this was a concern or why Gloria was involved. “It will not be an issue.”

“It’s going to be longer than that,” Gloria said.

“How long would be necessary?”

“We don’t know,” said Gloria, shaking her head. “Indefinitely?”

“That seems a bit much. Surely Philly must get home to her mother soon,” Myrmidon said.

“I have to stay away from Merry until it’s safe again,” Philly said. “So I can keep her safe.”

“Keep her safe?” Myrmidon said, sounding ready to rush out and fly to Merry’s place immediately.

“You tell them, like you should have told your mom,” Gloria said to Philly.

She nodded, and took a breath. “Back before Merry saved me and adopted me, before I was a dragon-in-training… I was a royal to a human kingdom. I put that behind me. I don’t want that anymore. I never really did. I want to be a dragon, and a wizard, and a lot of things… but my birth mother is trying to get me back by striking some kind of deal with the Queen. So there’s going to be a search for me. And if they find me with Merry… they’re going to do bad things to Merry, I know they will. I can’t let that happen.”

“So we’re hoping she can hide here, until the Queen gives up on searching for her,” Gloria said.

“So you just want to put us in danger, instead of Merry?” Dagger said, fading into view. Philly jumped at eir appearance. Gloria just examined em.

“Hey, Dagger. New look?” Gloria said.

“Trying some things,” ey said.

“I like it. Gives you some edge.”

“T-thanks,” Dagger said, averting eir eye, clearly affected by the compliment. “But you’re dodging the question. You’re just moving the risk to us.”

“Possibly,” Philly admitted.

“So why not just turn her in and be done with it that way?” Dagger asked. “Save us the trouble.”

“My dear sibling, we simply can’t do that,” Myrmidon said. “I cannot allow my girlfriend’s daughter to be put in danger.”

“Danger?” Dagger said, glaring at Myrmidon. “She just said she’s a royal. The only danger she’d be in is having too much expensive food and jewelry. Your girlfriend would probably be safer that way too. I know you both like the kid, but why does that mean we should have to risk our life here for a human?” Ey swung eir claw through Philly to punctuate this. My apprentice shivered intensely. “I was just starting to be okay with all this…” ey mumbled.

“You’re wrong!” Philly said with force. “I can’t go back! They’ll kill me!”

“Kill you? You can’t be serious! Why…” and then Dagger fell silent.

Everyone looked to Dagger as ey floated, eye glowing.

“Are… ey alright?” Philly asked.

“Ey are about to pull us into a vision,” I explained.

“Fuck,” Gloria said, clearly having a reaction to that.

And there there was a bright light.

We were all in a room. How it worked, though, was unclear, as the room was clearly sized for a human, not a dragon. And yet, we all fit inside. The room had bedding, a lot of parchment, a desk, a lot of writing things. Sun shone in the window.

In this room was a past version of my apprentice. Only she was moving unnaturally fast. She read at her desk, and wrote notes, moving with a speed that was impossible under normal conditions. Books were completed in minutes. Occasionally she would stand, zip to the door almost imperceptibly, to bang on it, crying out, before lying down in bed, looking like she was crying, or sleeping. Moments later she would be back up at the desk.

“Are we seeing this in an accelerated form?” Myrmidon said, quietly.

Philly was trembling as she watched. “I don’t think so…” she managed to say.

Gloria picked her up and shielded her from the scene. “You don’t have to watch this if something bad is coming,” she said.

Suddenly, past Philly laid down on the bed again, and then she started breathing at a normal speed. I could finally see her. She was wearing a simple, worn outfit. On her chest, a large, still healing scar was visible.

The door opened. A bearded human with a tray of food entered, placing it on the table. Behind him, a woman I recognized followed. It was the woman with the golden book, the one who had sent the human armies after me right before I was freed. It had been a while since I had seen her, but I felt confident in her identity.

“How long are you keeping her under for?” the woman asked.

“The equivalent of two weeks,” he said. “Much better than last time. I believe my experiments to ease the process were successful.”

“Make it three weeks,” she said.

The man with the beard frowned. “Two is already a bit much. When she rebels, it is difficult to take corrective action quick enough.”

“She rebels?” the woman asked. “Have you not beaten her place into her yet?”

“She’s your daughter,” the man said. “She won’t give up, nor would you want her to. It would affect the transfer.”

“Fair. Still, we need to train her faster. This body is already giving up on me… I had her much too late this time.” The woman looked at her hand, like it was some piece of filth.

“It might be possible if I gave her occasional recuperation time at a normal speed,” the bearded man said, thinking. “The net result would likely still be faster.”

“Try it,” the woman said, turning to leave the room.

With that, the vision faded. We watched as Dagger collapsed onto the floor, or as close to the floor as ey got.

“My word…” Myrmidon said. “What was that?”

“The past of my apprentice,” I said.

“Ah, yes, of course, my lady,  but what was going on?” they inquired.

“You alright, Philly?” Gloria asked.

Philly shook her head.

“Here, sit down, breathe…” Gloria said, setting her back on the table.

Dagger groaned. “My head hurts. I didn’t know my head could still hurt,” ey said, getting eirself back to floating normally. “That was more people than I’ve ever brought along… maybe that’s why…”

“Are you alright?” I asked em.

“I… suppose so,” ey said. Ey looked down to Philly, thinking. “Maybe I was a bit harsh, though… before that triggered…”

“It’s fine. We get it,” Gloria said. “Humans are… cruel. Even to their own, apparently.”

“I’m not going back to the tower,” Philly said, barely loud enough to hear. “I’m not going to be human anymore… I’m not going to…”

“Myrmidon,” I said.

“Yes, my lady?”

“Are our forces still combat-ready? We have not used them for anything other than maintenance and construction tasks in quite some time.”

“It… should be trivial to get them back up to speed,” Myrmidon said. “But we never truly rebuilt after our last defeat, so they are not many in number.”

I turned to Gloria. “They are searching to take her back to those conditions? Where she is locked in a small room with no contact for the equivalent of weeks? I am to understand this would be unpleasant to most.” It did not sound quite so bad to me. There was a time where I could have thrived in similar conditions, but now, with Myrmidon, and my apprentice, and even my child… I felt losing contact with them for such long periods would not be optimal. And I could imagine that feeling being much greater in those who wanted to interact with others regularly.

“It’d be torture,” Gloria said. “And I wouldn’t doubt that’s where they’d take her. If that woman was the human Queen, she wants Philly back for something. Probably whatever that transfer that was mentioned is.”

“And they will likely attempt to search here,” I said.

Gloria nodded. “And find you, even if Philly isn’t here. Which is why we figured she’d be safe here, as you’d be protecting yourself in some way anyway, so she wouldn’t be a burden.”

“That’s logical,” I said. “We will have to prepare additional defenses regardless.”

“So she can stay?” Gloria asked.

I looked to Myrmidon. They nodded, clearly wanting to help. I looked to Dagger. Ey sighed. “Yes. We shall look after her.”

“Perfect,” Gloria said, letting out a breath. “I have to go, then. I have… too much to do, and then I have to be back at the Peak for emergency sessions…”

“You seem exhausted, Gloria,” Myrmidon said. “Perhaps you should take a break first?”

“No time for that,” Gloria said. “But thanks. I’ll try to once I get back to the Peak. And I’ll check in when I can.” She hurried out of the lab, muttering something about how she was going to keep things together.

“Hey,” Dagger said, looking down at Philly. “You okay?”

“I… yeah…” she said. “I just… didn’t want to see that place again…”

“I’m sorry… I can’t really control those flashes,” ey said. “It’d be nice if I could… make me a little less worthless…”

Philly seemed unsure what to say to that.

“Myrmidon, prepare a chamber for my apprentice,” I said.

“Ah, yes, of course, my lady. Right away.” They hurried off.

“Sorry… about saying you weren’t in danger too,” Dagger said.

“It’s… okay… I just… I finally felt like I belonged somewhere, and then all this happened…” Philly said. “Came back like I can’t escape it…”

“I… get that, actually…” Dagger said. There was some silence. “I’m going to go now,” ey finally said. “You… you know. Feel better.” Ey disappeared.

“Thanks…” Philly said.

And then I was alone with her.

“And thank you for saying you’ll protect me, Baroness,” Philly said.

“It will help speed up our experiments immensely,” I said.

Philly nodded.

“And also… I am to understand it is the kind of activity a friend would engage in…”

She smiled.

We spent the rest of the day getting her situated. With her size, it was easier said than done. Many accommodations needed to be added. Myrmidon attempted to create nourishment for her. She ate, but did not react the same way as when she would consume her mother’s packed lunches.

For now, our forces are on heightened alert. I do not wish to engage in direct combat, but if pressed, I may have to.

For now, I have much planning to do.

[katieswinforddiaries]

Kurt Seyit and Sura Reactions Episodes 17-18

^When I finally get to come home and watch my show after a very long day. Like not that long ago I was in tears and had to calm myself down before watching. And yes I did just use a Sura gif for this. hahaha It’s been a day I really need Seyit time to make me smile.

Episode 17:

^When I realize just how much Seyit never tells Sura what’s going on when he has to go do something. Like I know he feels the need to take immediate action and help when something is wrong he is just one of those guys, but damn. How hard is it to say as you’re walking out a general idea of what the fuck is going on. And yes I did finally find a flaw in the perfect Seyit. Like I wouldn’t be doing as he says just waiting there. I’d be following his ass telling him if he isn’t going to tell me what the fuck is going on I’m not taking his damn orders. I’d be pissed.

^When you find out Seyit bribed people to say the soldier they killed was killed in a drunken brawl. Like that’s one way the get shit done, but aren’t you worried about money already?

^How excited Sura gets when they agree to let her help with the cooking and teach her. Like I swear to God she has to be one of the cutest things ever.

^When they keep timing things so Sura sees Seyit with the girl who he defended earlier. Like really!? Even if I was her I would think he was possibly cheating after some of this shit.

^Seyit’s reaction to seeing Sura all dressed up again. Like these little shits are so cute. Also I’m betting Sura is getting majorly laid later that night. hahaha

^When the Baroness of all people saves their asses from getting caught smuggling out the guns. Like what? Since when did you become not the same major bitch who tried to ruin their lives and happiness.

^When Sura talks about how having grown up since Petro last saw her and realized fairy tales aren’t real. Like on one hand fair enough your living through your entire life and world going to hell, but to be fair don’t almost all fairytales have a portion where everything goes to hell before the happy ending? You have the closest to prince charming I’ve ever seen in your bed every night so there is still hope your life will be like a fairytale with a happy ending. Don’t give up the hope for happy life just yet sweetie.

^When you find out the girl who Seyit helped rescue obviously has a crush on him and is fantasizing about being in Sura’s place. Like no no and no! That is my ship you leave them alone!

^When The Baroness follows Seyit outside and is saying things like he can see the future flattering him and he is obviously so done with her shit. Like honey come on. He’s done with you you’re not getting back in his pants.

Episode 18:

^When Celil starts acting crazy at the party. Like honey you need to get your drunk ass home. I’m calling it now that Seyit is probably gonna have to haul his drunk ass out of the party.

^When not even 30 seconds after I wrote out the last part Seyit come back in the room and has to haul Celil’s drunk ass upstairs. Like yup I fucking called it. Hell I’ve been that friend taking care of people’s drunk asses and making sure they get home safe. On the bright side Seyit and Sura can think of it as practice for any future children they might have.

^When Petro has been trying to help Celil for months after Tatya died and it takes Seyit to bring him back to his old self. Like you’re telling me all it took was his best friend sobering up his drunk ass, backhanding him and screaming some sense into him? I guess it’s true that sometimes you just need your best friend. Even wen you’re a badass soldier. This why you don’t lie to your friends during hard times. You tell them how it is and make sure they know you do it because you love and respect them enough to not feed them bullshit.

^When the baroness reveals the still wants to ruin Seyit and Sura’s relationship and get Seyit back. Like no no and no. Fuck you in particular ma’am. Like I know you’re still in love with Seyit, and I’m sure he is one hell of lay, but he’s made it quite clear he’s done with you. Your relationship has been over for along time. Move on sweetheart.

^When the Baroness is obviously trying to pull Seyit into all the fuckery she is now involved in. Like come on. Don’t be that asshole. He just wants to have a normal life with the woman he loves. Leave them the fuck alone already. They don’t want you ruining the life they are trying to build.