#It's going to turn 5am and I have an exam tomorrow

[burningembers91]

Body Talk - Seong Gi-Hun x Fem!Reader (NSFW)

Follow up Piece to:

Back Alley Bar Help Wanted

Synopsis: A night celebrating turns to something more when your hidden feelings finally bubble to the surface.

It was quiet in the bar tonight, Mondays usually were. You were grateful for the respite; glad you could use the time to cram some more for your exam. You weren’t sure how you’d made it to the end of your first year of university, but somehow you were on track to come top of your class. You’d managed to juggle studies while working two jobs and had stayed semi-sane in the process. You knew Seong Gi-Hun was to thank for that, always there to help if you were struggling, always making sure you had a smile on your face. He was next to you now, quizzing you using the flash cards you’d spent hours making the night before. He’d become a different person in the last few months, had transformed before your eyes. Gone was the man who drank himself to death each night, who barely remembered to shower and eat. Gi-Hun now made sure his hair was always styled, made sure he was always wearing a nice shirt when he saw you. He’d been sober for nearly nine months, and had started going to the gym. A steady job at a warehouse meant he had money to pay rent, and he was saving up for a plane ticket to visit his daughter in America.

You’d been good for each other, pushing the other to be the best versions of themselves, always support one another when times got tough. You were looking forward to a break from university, looking forward to a summer free of deadlines and exams. Sure, you still had to work two jobs to afford your rent and schooling expenses, but you were looking forward to a little more free time. Gi-Hun had promised you a day trip to Busan, a chance for the two of you to get away, even for a short time. Your friendship had blossomed since that evening in your apartment, and you found that you spent most days with him. You felt his absence when he wasn’t around, feeling like something was missing. Gi-Hun had begun to feel the same. You’d saved him from himself, had thrown him a lifeline when he felt like giving up. you’d been good for him, and his feelings for you had grown over the last few months. Both of you were tiptoeing around the chemistry between you, too afraid to spoil the friendship in case the other didn’t feel the same.

“I think I need to stop,” you sighed, rubbing your tired eyes. “My brain is mush and if I study anymore my head might actually explode.” “Just remember to relax tomorrow,” he smiled, “you know all the answers.” He’d learned that you had a habit of getting in your own head, of doubting yourself when things got tough. You were the smartest person he knew, and he wished you’d give yourself more credit.

He helped you close up the bar, driving you home before saying goodnight. Every evening, he found it harder to leave you, harder to watch you climb the steps to your apartment. He wanted to pull you back into his arms; to kiss you and tell you how much you meant to him. he wanted to make love to you on the sofa you’d spent so many nights studying on, wanted to hear you moan his name. he hated leaving you, hated returning to his empty apartment. He still struggled to sleep most nights, and his thoughts were filled with you on the nights he lay awake.

Gi-Hun couldn’t stop checking his phone the next day, constantly stopping to see if you’d had your results back. You were sitting your exam at 9am and had been up texting him since 5am. He wanted to take you out tonight, wanted to buy you dinner and have a proper celebration. He had no doubt you’d pass, but he still couldn’t help but feel nervous for you. you’d worked so hard to get where you were, and the desperation in your face was evident. He was on break when you called him, your voice shrill. “I passed!” You squealed breathlessly. “I actually passed!” “Amazing!” Gi-Hun couldn’t hide the joy he felt, his smile spreading wide. “Let me take you out tonight. We’ll celebrate properly.” He wanted tonight to be special for you, he wanted you to let your hair down and celebrate the fact you were one year closer to your dream.

That night, Gi-Hun arrived to collect you from your apartment. He’d gone and bought a shirt especially, the crisp white material paired with his favourite jeans. He was speechless when you stepped outside, clad in a burgundy off the shoulder dress. He always thought you looked beautiful, but tonight you’d left him speechless. “What do you think?” you asked, giving him a twirl on the sidewalk as he stood open mouthed. “Very nice,” he finally managed to breath. “Just… wow.” You bit back a smile, enjoying the effect you were having on him. You’d picked this dress especially, knowing it showed off your figure.

You spent the evening in a cozy restaurant, feeling lighter than you had done in months. Gi-Hun couldn’t take his eyes off you, every moment he spent with you only affirming how much he cared for you. You were breathtaking in that dress, and his found his mind wandering, imagining how it would feel to kiss you, how it would feel to peel the dress from your body. You noticed him staring, noticed the way his eyes wondered your frame; the dress was having the desired effect.

You walked home slowly, neither of you wanting to part. Your hands brushed against each other a few times, sparks igniting deep within the pit of your stomach at the slightest of touches. “Do you want to come up?” you asked him when you arrived back your apartment. The chemistry between you was electric, the air almost crackling. You wondered if he could feel it too, wondered if his heart was racing as much as yours was. “Yes,” he answered, swallowing hard as you led him up the stairs. He’d been to your apartment dozens of times but tonight felt different. The tension was palpable, his heart beating so hard in his chest he was scared you might hear it.

Unlocking your door, you headed inside, the two of you standing in your hallway, neither one of you sure what to do next. Gi-Hun could see the steady rise and fall of your chest, could see the hunger in your eyes as looked up at him. “Kiss me,” you whispered, unable to resist him anymore. You needed a release, needed to feel his lips on yours, his hands on your body.

Gi-Hun kissed you gently, his hands caressing the contours of your waist, snaking up your back to the nape of your neck. He heard you moan appreciatively against him, felt your hands trail up his arms and across his shoulders. He allowed himself to be led to your bedroom, your fingers deftly unbuttoning his shirt as you went. He could feel his aching cock pressing against the tight fabric of his jeans, could feel the deep ache in the pit of his stomach as you guided his hands towards the zip of your dress. He was shaking as he helped you remove your clothes, the sight of your body setting his senses on fire. He pulled you into him, his hands exploring the delicate curve of your breasts, his fingers gently pinching your nipples as you moaned softly against his touch.

“I need to taste you,” he growled, pushing you down into your mattress as he slid your underwear down over your thighs. You were already soaking wet for him as his fingers explored you, his thumb tracing light circles over your clit. you bucked your hips, your eyes rolling back as his tongue replaced his fingers, tracing slow, delicious patterns against you. you had so much pent-up stress, and Gi-Hun was dying to release it. His tongue and fingers worked together, bringing you to the brink of ecstasy. You tasted like heaven, your tight wet walls gripping his digits as you came for him with a shuddering sob.

You were so desperate for him, so needy as you pulled his lips down to meet yours. You could taste yourself on his tongue, could feel his urgency for you in his kisses. You helped him remove his jeans, pushing him down against the mattress. You’d spent so many sleepless nights wondering what he would feel like to be with Gi-Hun, but nothing could match up to reality.

You cried out in unison as you lowered yourself onto him, his hands tightly gripping your hips as you moved against him. you were so wet for him, so tight and Gi-Hun found himself dangerously close to losing control already. You were so beautiful as you fucked him, your moans so loud and unabashed as your bodies moved in perfect sync. He directed your hand down to your clit, watching you pleasure yourself as you rode him. you were so confident, so sure of yourself and Gi-Hun was desperate to see more of this side of you. You could feel him getting close, could feel his thighs shaking as he neared the edge. His eyes were glued to you, to the way your index finger circled your clit, the way your head lolled back as you took every inch of him inside your tight core. He couldn’t hold anymore, a shuddering groan reverberating off the walls as he came, spilling every last drop of himself inside of you.

He stayed with you that night, tangled up in your sheets as you explored each other. There would be time to talk tomorrow, time to figure out what this was between you. In the morning, Gi-Hun would use words to tell you how you made him feel, but tonight, tonight he would let his body do all the talking.

[princesspumpkinseed]

Once again, there is tension in my face when there shouldn’t be. I’ve had such a nice day and the sun is shining into my bedroom window for the first time all year but I can’t get the exam fear from my mind. I think that this is because I’ve been focusing on logic today and therefore don’t feel confident with Functional Analysis or Number Theory and, worst of all, I have no visualised plan of exactly how I’m going to perfect my abilities for these two. As well as that, I did revise functional analysis this afternoon but it did a paper from a previous instructor and therefore not necessarily everything was appropriate for my course. It wasn’t a waste of time at all and it was a great re-introduction into Functional Analysis, so my clenched teeth should calm down.

Having recounted my late morning yesterday, I was once again up with the 5am sunrise today. I couldn’t help it and I did have a beautiful morning. AS standard, there was morning coffee, yoga with Adriene, and a hot shower, but unusual highlights of my morning included a Pilates class and a banana protein smoothie with breakfast. The pilates class was lovely: it felt freeing to be out of my room while doing this - rather I was in a well-lit studio with a great view of the morning sun on the maths building- but I felt like I could have done a lot more. It could have been a challenging session but the most challenging moves were for the lower abs (which I’m not willing to train while on a period).

Coming home, I did a little arm workout and truly enjoyed lateral raises, and front raises, and hammer curls, and everything really. I had a French vlog on while I was doing this, I felt proud for surrounding myself with French more frequently, and I got quite nostalgic when I saw an image of Le Jardin des Plantes.

Following that, I had an early lunch of leftover miso aubergine, some soya burger patties, a salad, and leftover spinach and pineapple smoothie. I wasn’t very hungry but the sun was inviting me outside and I wanted to go out for a walk and then revise without worrying about coming home for lunch. This turned out to be a great idea and I had a beautiful meander on my way to the Physics buidling, where I revised in one of my favourite study spots with a new friend (I wish him luck on his mechanics exam tomorrow).

I came home with hunger but enjoyed chatting with Jemima in the kitchen while I fried some basa to serve with sweet potato, cauliflower, cauliflower leaves, bulgarwheat, and red cabbage. That brings us to this exact moment, in which I have just finished my lemon and ginger tea, and I ponder what exactly I would like to leave this post to do. Having run my hands over my face in exasperation so many times today, I crave a face wash and maybe a mask. Then I think that I would like to find some revision activities for tomorrow but the only question is whether I put on pyjamas before or after that.

[gggeeeeen]

EOD thoughts

May 24, 2024

It's now 4PM here and I'm about to sleep. It's been a couple of days since my last writing. So much for my target to write everyday lol

Work has been a breeze recently with minor setbacks because our portal is acting up. Not sure if they're updating it or what.

Work out is fun. Ran 6KMs yesterday and did back (pull) earlier this day.

My schedule since my adjustment to nightshift work has been:

Work 8PM to 5AM

Sleep ideally 5AM (but does not often happen) to 9 or 10AM

9AM or 10AM prep for gym

11AM to 2PM gym

Usually home by 2:30 to 3PM

Sleep from whenever after 3PM then wake up at 8PM to work again

Body clock is fucked up. Last APE exam resulted with high heart rate. Not sure if it's because of my night shift sched or a result of me working out regularly?

Update on the man situation, I was able to get my hands on this phone this morning, after work, before going to sleep. He handed it to me so easily before he went to sleep which was a relief (Not sure pala, I had to ask for it. Said I would charge it. Magmumusic dapat sya pero lowbatt daw pala so I said give it to me, I will charge it. Before, he'd voluntarily give it to me but the past few weeks, he's been holding on to it. Playing music or saying it has enough battery pa). No messages, nothing alarming. But he's been liking photos of girls. Which idk i think is normal nowadays? It bothers me tho. Should I say something?

I saw a saved photo of him and this girl. Not sure if yun yung Pheobe, which I saw he's been talking to in IG. Nothing flirty. But idk.

Anyway, what was a bit alarming was he turned off his location in google maps. He turned it off in the past already but I secretly turned it back on. This morning, I didn't turn it back on. It was off since May 19. Or 16, I don't really remember. I'm thinking of a way to bring this up. Should I?

But what I'm most concerned about is my reaction. Like, I searched for spy apps to install to his phone. I searched for a GPS device I can secretly plant to his stuff. I'm really bothered on how I'm reacting and idk, I don't want to be this kind of girl. I don't want to resort to crazy ideas, stalking, going thru his stuff, lacking trust, thinking about things he's doing or might do behind my back.

He's been great for the most part, working out together, going home straight after work, tho he said, I think last week, that he might go with his team to eat dinner after work. He said his team has been going out to dinner most Fridays, asking him to come along and one of these Fridays, he might say yes. Should I be worried. I am tho TBH.

Biggest challenge lang siguro is time for life events. Like for example, a few weeks back, I attended this wedding in Paranaque, I wanted him to come with sana. That was a Sunday. So the scenario was, He filed a leave on Friday because ate Miq's birthday. Their original plan was to Elyu or Tagaytay for the whole weekend sana. But hindi natuloy and they decided to have dinner nalang. .Anyway, so after gym ng Friday, he went straight to Cubao. He was there Saturday and Sunday. We planned to meet Sunday somewhere after the wedding and go home to Taguig together. Like leave early on Sunday sa Cubao para sabay kami uuwi. I was actually the one that suggested na punta na sya ng Friday in the hopes of him saying na uwi nalang sya ng Taguig early on Sunday para makasama sa wedding. But no, so okay. I was hoping na sabay nalang kami uuwi. But ended up hindi padin sya nakauwi ng early. Late na din sya nakauwi kasi pinatulog nya daw yung kids. Okay. I know naman the kids are priority pero what about me? I was crying on the grab back to Taguig.

There's been other scenarios like this, one of his other priorities is RDOT (Rest day OT), I mean I get and I understand he needs money. For sustento, for going out with the kids, for car payment, cat and motor maintenance, insurance + other misc stuff. But idk. Like tomorrow, my family will be having a grad dinner for Hann, and he said he can't come kasi he has to RDOT. WHICCHHHH IF he really wants to, he can RDOT early, we can gym early para lang makasama. IFFFF he really wants. But I guess, not. So okay.

I've just been thinking about this whole relationship a lot recently. a lot if idk moments. I find myself detaching and not relying on him being present on these things. And other things in general. He would usually say, "lakad mo naman yan.". Which I think means a great deal to me. I consider us as one na kasi, which is normal naman when you're in a relationship diba? I get we still need to have separate lives pero idk. Push lang ba? Nakakalungkot kasi I think we're good together, and dami lang nya talagang other priorities and I come at the bottom.

I'm afraid if I bring these up, we'd realize it's better to be just friends/room mates?. If I bring these up, I know he's make me feel bad about feeling this way. I've thought, what if we don't live together, would this still work out? Princess said, I was the one making this relationship work. Like even before moving in together sa FTI, I was always staying in his and Nate's place already. I actually asked him this and he thinks it's going to work out naman. He's find a way na magkita kami. Pero with all the stuff he's dealing with, idk. Baka ako yung umayaw and just find someone new. I give him credit, too, pero those words got to me. I find myself asking, until when am I going to be at the bottom of his priorities? I keep telling myself things would get better. It's hard but I want to believe it, too.

Haba na neto. Okay, until next rant! Haha

[napstawantstosleep]

What if Eret's eyes worked like prisms and reflected rainbows when not covered by sunglasses???

[wickedw3asleys]

JUST LIKE HEAVEN (Pt.2)

Fred x female reader (mentions of George)

AN: it is 5am i cannot sleep i need help oh my god i am SWEATING, FRED WEASLEY WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME. he's a dom and i do not accept any kind of criticism. Okay but more seriously, thank you so much for the support for the 1st part! I truly appreciate it and I hope you'll like this one as much as the first one!

WARNINGS: smut smut smut smut and more smut... unprotected sex... and cussing

A few days had passed after your talk with Fred and George.

And still nothing had happened.

And you never thought you'd be so eager for one of them to reach out to you to fill his needs. But you weren't going to be the one to give in first.

And they knew what they did to you, because the first moment they saw you after the big talk they started teasing the shit out of you, and you were too easy to piss off, way too horny to have patience with them. Could be an accidental brush of George's hand on your thigh; Fred whispering things in your ear that weren't necessarily explicit; or again, George finding any kind of excuse to touch you, even the slightest... And that drove you crazy. And the fact that they exactly what they were doing, only made it worse, them making clear that they wanted you.

And today was the day that your patience was at its limits. So you were going to play it reverse on them, and make them suffer a little bit.

You decided to just play it cool, not to look to hard for them, and just let the big boys come to you, as they liked to call themselves. So when you least expected, you saw them appear with the biggest grins on their faces.

You were hanging out with Hermione and Luna at the library, and once again you were going crazy with your studies. You already have had 2 exams, and you could feel your brain slowly dying from all the information it was absorbing.

So obviously, when the twins saw you in such a frustrated state, they knew once again how to play their cards.

"Oh, darling... You look so stressed...", Fred came behind you, "and those shoulders! You're way too tense..."

He winked at his brother and put his hands on your shoulders, slowly massaging them.

Hermione looked at you with an interrogating gaze, not really sure if she should say something or not, to what you unconsciously shrugged your shoulders.

Fred dominantly put his hand on the back of your neck, applying a slight pressure to the sides of your neck, "Keep still, sweetheart..."

You could feel the blood rushing up to cheeks and to other unholy places on your body.

"What. The. Hell.", Hermione mouthed to you, Luna getting more and more confused about all the situation, since she was way too preoccupied reading her Astronomy book.

"I. DON'T. KNOW.", you mouthed back.

Fred continued to massage and apply pressure on your shoulder and the back of your neck, and you felt like you were going completely mad. And when you saw George glancing at his brother, you knew this was another one of their games; so why not join in?

You sighed, mouthed a quick "sorry" to the two girls and started playing.

"Freddie! Oh my god! You're so good!", you softly moaned, stretching your back and neck. You could catch a confused and nervous look on George's face, who was once again looking at his brother, expecting a reaction from him.

"Mmhhh... you like that?", he whispered down to your ear. Fuck, he was a way too good player.

You turned your face to his, just to be a few inches from his lips. "Yeah, I like it...", you said, trying to sound convincing; when you knew that you were affected by him to your bloody core.

You could feel his breath shake as he straighten up, leaving a satisfied smile on your face.

"And what about you, Georgie?", you asked, looking at him with puppy eyes, "How's my favorite Weasley?"

"I'm fine...", he said, smirking, "Why? You missed me, darling?"

You couldn't see any type of nervousness in him, he never answered wrong, always continuing the game.

Not wanting to leave poor Hermione and Luna alone, you decided after a while to semi ignore the twins, and go back to your conversation with the girls, including the boys in from time to time, and when you could feel Fred being totally distracted, you made your killer move.

"OH! I'm so sorry, Fred!", you said, looking how your ink pot just had fallen on his lap.

"Damn it!"

Everybody had taken a few steps back, not wanting to have ink all over them, and when Hermione got up to go for some tissues, you got on your knees and started wiping Fred's thigh with your robes. Fortunately you knew a spell that would make these stains go away, otherwise you wouldn't have sacrificed yourself like that.

The sight of your on your knees, a hand on his upper thigh and the other one wiping the ink stains that were dangerously close to his dick, almost made him cum in his pants. He had spent too much time without doing anything and you being you didn't made it better. You've always drove him completely mad, and the fact that you've actually accorded to be shared between him and his brother was all he could have ever asked for.

He dominantly grabbed your hand, "Bloody hell, Y/N! Stop!", he groaned between his teeth, making sure no one else but you could hear him.

"What's wrong?", you asked innocently, looking up at him through your lashes.

"Shit", he groaned.

He quickly got up, took his brother by the arm and left the library.

"Oh... Where did they go?", Hermione asked with the tissues in her hand.

"I don't know...", you couldn't help but smile victoriously. You've beaten Fred Weasley at his own game. You've put down one of the two twins. You still had to win against George, and from what you've been observing, he'd be the harder one to play against; fooling everybody with his innocent looks.

"Am I right saying that there was completely an unsolved tension in here for a second?", Luna asks.

"Y/N, what the hell was all this?!", Hermione says, clearly aware of what's happening.

"It's just a game! Nothing harmful! Don't worry", you smile, blushing.

"I don't know what kind of games you're playing with them but when I saw Fred going through that door he looked like he could spit fire...", Hermione points out, "I just hope you know what you're doing..."

"I do, Mione... I've talk to them..."

"What do you mean you've talked to them?", Luna asks, curious.

"Oops...", you say as you start getting up and taking your books with you, earning a gasp and shocked laugh from both of them. You winked at the girls and got out of the library.

There wasn't a lot of students out in the corridors at this time of the evening. It was almost bed time so everybody was either in their common rooms or still at the library, just like Hermione and Luna.

So when you felt a hand on the back of your neck again, you felt relief that no one was there.

"Good night, Freddie...", you smiled, his hand adding pressure.

"I hate you", he says between his teeth.

"Oh... Why is that?", you pout. If he'd thought he was the only one able to play this game, he was damn wrong.

"Don't play innocent here, you knew what you were doing"

"Just how you knew what you were doing to me for the past days. Both you and your brother. Am I wrong?", you tried turning your head, but his grip on your neck didn't let you, "Didn't your mother tell you to not play with your food, Freddie?"

The smirk you had on your face the second you pronounced these words could have killed Fred in an instant. It was the weirdest, yet most erotic, thing a girl have ever said to him, and he felt those words resonate through his whole body, specially under his pants.

"Fuck...", he groaned. He grabbed your arm and started leading you. You didn't knew where but you wanted to follow him so bad right now, nothing could have stopped you. You wanted him and you knew the feeling was reciprocal.

You turned a corner and arrived at the second-floor girl's bathroom. Fred quickly opened the door, making sure no one saw them go in and the second the door closed, his pressed his lips against yours. Almost with anger. He was so eager to kiss you...

Neither of you took the time to completely undress the other, you just stayed there, him pressing his body on yours, devouring your mouth.

Without breaking the kiss, he started leading you to the sinks, where he lifted you and sat you. Your skirt almost lifted to your waist and his hands fiercely groping your thighs.

"How DARE you come snog in MY bathroom?!", a whining voice made you both jump, trying to regain your breath.

"Mimi!", Fred breathed out, "Sorry! W-we..."

"Oh... Hi, Frederick...", Moaning Myrtle slowly approached Fred, not even paying attention to you, "You're looking good tonight...", she says.

"You too, Mimi, but we're kind in the middle of something right now...", he says, awkwardly.

"Oh... I see that...", she says, glaring at you in anger.

"Hi, Myrtle..."

"Come on Myrtle, please... I promise to make Harry come visit you tomorrow, but please, please, let us stay here...", he pleaded. You could hear the desperation in his voice and that only turned you on even more.

Moaning Myrtle was taking his proposal in consideration, and quickly ended up agreeing. "Tell him I want to see him in that grey shirt he always wears, he looks so good in it...", she says before completely disappearing in the darkness of the bathroom.

"Wow... So Moaning Myrtle too, huh?", you teased Fred.

"Yeah, yeah, don't start", he quickly cupped your face with one hand and started kissing you again, this time with more passion, more fire. He was kissing you as his life depended on it, his hands always groping your skin; your thighs, your stomach, your waist... He was like an animal, so eager and needy. And you loved every bit of it.

Fred pulled out from your lips and started going down, kissing your jaw... You neck... Licking it and making sure to leave at least two or three visible marks for him to admire the next day. You moaned when he started kissing that sweet spot of you, just behind your ear, as he started slightly pulling your hair. That combination would be the death of you.

"Fuck, Fred...", you moaned in his ear. He raised his head and took a second to finally admire your messed up state, which only made him want to go rough on you.

He leaned in again and started kissing you while unbuttoning your white shirt, not losing a single second. Just as he kept unbuttoning it, he started kissing your chest until it was completely at sight. He groaned to himself when he saw the black lace bra you were wearing that day.

This time, you were the one to not lose time. The second your blouse was unbuttoned, you started attacking his pants, taking of his belt and lowering it a little so you could play with the elastic of his boxers.

"Wait...", he suddenly stopped.

"What? What are you- FUCK!", you loudly moaned as you saw him going down on his knees before you and taking your clit in his mouth. Your hands directly went to his hair, pulling it gently.

You could have come by the simple sight of what was happening, Fred on his knees eating you out, his hair all messy and his arms strongly around your thighs.

"Oh my-... Yes, just like that", you moaned again, making Fred chuckle against you, sending vibrations through you.

He started placing little kisses and kitten licks all over your pussy, licking every inch of it, making it his.

"If you keep... FUCK! Doing this... I'm going to cum... Oh my god, Fred..."

He chuckled again and stopped his movements to look up at you. Fuck, you were looking so pretty, already all fucked up.

He got up, never breaking eye contact with you. He was literally towering you, you sitting on the small sink, your legs around his waist.

He was going to start kissing you again when you stopped him, putting your soft hand on his clothed chest.

"Wait... My turn...", you seductively said, slowly kneeling.

He instantly knew what you were about to do, so he helped you lowered his pants down a little.

"Bloody hell, you're so big...", you whispered.

"Well, wait are you waiting for?", he said, lifting up your chin.

Your mouth instantly started drooling the moment you took him in your mouth. You slowly lowered your head down his shaft, taking all you could of him in your mouth, and then up again.

You started licking his tip and his sides, trying to get it as wet as you could.

"Y/N... Fuck... You're so good at this...", you felt his body lean against the sink you were previously sitting on, and saw his hand grab the edge of it to gain support. "Keep going please, keep going..."

You did as he pleaded. You slowly started to bob your head up and down his dick, both of you making the most sinful sounds. You could feel him throb in your mouth as your lowered your head more and more, and you loved it.

Suddenly, he grabs you by the hair and lifts you up again, helping you sit on the sink again.

"Legs up for me, will you sweetheart?", he says, caressing your inner thighs.

"If you ask so nicely...", and you lifted your legs to wrap them around his waist.

Fred sucked his thumb and lowered it to your clit, drawing figures eight on it, slowly.

"Mmmhhh...", you moaned, throwing your head back.

"Are you ready?", he asks, his thumb still on your clit.

"Yes", you smiled back at him, locking eyes with him and not breaking contact when he entirely slid into you.

"Merlin, you're so tight...", Fred moaned in the crook of your neck.

You grab him by the shoulders and let him start thrusting in and out of you; first at an awful slow pace, making him bite your neck.

"Come on, darling...", you encouraged him. And with that, as if something lightened up inside him, he straightened himself, towering over you again, and roughly putting one of his hands around your neck and the other one around your thigh. That made him gain stability, so he started thrusting deeper and harder tan before.

"YES! Oh my god... Yes...", you put your forehead against his and closed your eyes shut, lost in the feeling.

"Yeah... Like that...", he says, going even faster, hitting that special spot of yours that made you almost scream. "That's it, darling... Show me where I am..."

You clumsily took his hand and tried to find on your lower abdomen the spot that Fred was hitting so you could show him how deep he was buried in you.

"Oohh, yes... There it is...", he says, feeling his tip brushing against his hand. He applied more pressure to your abdomen, making his dick hit that spot again and again.

"FUCKKKKK! YES!", you screamed, eyes almost rolling back in your head.

"Look at me, sweetheart, look at me...", Fred took your face and started to thrust deeper and harder just to watch your reaction, to which he wasn't disappointed. Your swollen lips, messy hair and the spots he had been leaving along your neck and chest were the most beautiful view ever.

He started massaging your breast through your bra as he once again increased his speed.

All you could do was messily breathe and loudly moan as he trusted in and out of you. He was so big. Stretching you so good. And the fact that he was being so rough yet so gentle with you was insane.

Once again he brought his hand to your clit, slowly massaging it and making you moan even louder.

"Ssshhhh... Sweetheart, do I have to remind you how to be quiet?", he says, his hand against your mouth.

You remembered the moment he first pressed his big hand on your mouth, all the thoughts that were crossing your mind and all the fantasies you've created because of that specific moment, and now all of them where becoming reality.

"Do I reckon you like my hand on you like this, right?", he smiled, thrusting deeper.

Your screams were now muffled by his hand, but he could see your eyes starting to water, which only made him increase the pace.

You were a moaning mess, your nails going to his back, his arms and chest, also leaving your little marks.

"Come on, I want you to see yourself when you cum...", he says before slipping out of you and turning you, now facing the mirror.

He put his hand where it belonged: your neck. And started to kiss you again, looking at you through the mirror's reflection.

With no previous notice, he slammed into you from behind, making your face contort in pleasure.

"Oh my god...", you say, trying to grab the edge of the sink.

He pulled your hair again, leaning your head back on his chest.

"Look at you...", he says, "so fucking... pretty..."

He brought his free hand to your clit again, the new angle making it easier for him to massage it in the correct way.

That made you scream again, feeling your legs fail you.

"I've got you, darling... Come on...", he whispered, tightly holding on to you.

He continued his relentless attack on your pussy and clit, making the pleasure almost unbearable for you.

"F-Fred... I-I'm c-cumming... SHIT!"

He smirked at your reflection and didn't stop his thrusting until he felt your inner walls tightly close again his cock. The feeling of you cumming with him inside you made it impossible for him to hold any longer, so as he was helping you riding your orgasm, he chased his own one, both of you moaning loudly in the other's ears and clinging to each other as your lives depended on it.

He stayed inside you a few more seconds, trying to regain his breath and strength.

"I think that deserves a big high five...", you say, lazily raising your hand.

He weakly moaned, trying to high five you, but terribly failed.

He finally got the strength to pull out of you with a hiss, slowly pulling his dick out and letting a pool of both of your fluids form in the sink.

"Thank you", he breathed out, kissing your forehead.

"No! Thank you!"

"I knew this was a good idea!", he says, proud of him.

"The most brilliant idea you've ever had...", you say, helping him putting his belt back on.

"What are you doing?", he asks.

"That, my friend, is a souvenir...", you laughed, patting the panties you just put in his pocket.

"Oh, you're a nasty one... Very, very nasty...", he smirks.

"You have no idea...", you say, kissing his neck again. "Let's go, before the others start asking too many questions"

"We're definitely doing that again, I hope you know that...", he says, entering the Gryffindor common room.

"Isn't that why we've talked about it, you git?" you laughed.

"Hey, where were you two?", Hermione asks, "We've been waiting for you for almost two hours!"

"Oh, we just quickly went to visit Moaning Myrtle...", you say, eyeing how George was looking at the marks on your neck, "Harry by the way, she wants you there tomorrow with your grey shirt. No discussion!"

You hear Harry groan and throw his head in his hands, "Why? Why did you this to me? Why do you hate me so much!?!"

"Come on, she's not that bad...", you say, sitting next to George.

"How does she even know I have that shirt?!", he starts whining, but soon enough, your attention was turned to George, who was playing with the back of your skirt.

"Looking good...", he whispered, "Who would have thought you're such a dirty player?"

"You have no idea...", you smirked.

He looked at you and chuckled, "You'll show me soon enough...", he said, discretely placing his hand on your inner thigh.

You looked up trying to see if anyone was looking at you, but for your luck, they were too busy hearing Harry whine about Myrtle. And then, you crossed Fred's gaze. He winked at you and raised to you his plastic bottle and drank a sip, that making George chuckle again.

For Goddrick's sake... These two were going to drive you completely mad...

[dazaiscrimes]

On that fluff prompt list do 50 with Megumi 😂

You got it, dude.

Prompt:  “I love you, but I need you to go away because you’re really bloody distracting and I have to pass this test tomorrow.”

Pairing: Megumi Fushiguro x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Warning: just pure fluff, maybe some ~spice~ at the end, crack

12 hours.

You just had 3 back-to-back 12-hour grueling shifts in the emergency department. There had been a patient who had decided that shampoo bottles belonged up their butt, there was one woman who accidentally cut off her toe, and to top it off, one of the other residents had messed up another patient’s files and you had to fix it.

To say you were ready to get home would be an understatement.

You drive home in a daze, desperately trying to keep yourself alert. After blasting screamo music and an uneventful car ride, you finally make it back to your shared apartment with Megumi. You glanced at your phone – 8pm. Megumi should have dinner ready by now. Your boyfriend was a stoic one, but was caring, nevertheless. He understood your dream of becoming a doctor and what that entailed. He did everything he could to try to help around the house and even took over most of the household chores on top of his responsibilities as a sorcerer.

“Hey, Gumi,” you tiredly sigh as you open the door. You were greeted with the smell of strong spices, signaling he made your favorite, curry.

“Hey Y/N, how was your shift this today?” You hear him call from down the hall. The sounds of him shuffling around had you giggling a little bit. He always seemed a little flustered whenever you came home from work.

You continued down the hall, turning left into the kitchen. Your jaw dropped to the ground. Before you, Megumi was wearing the “I Kissed the Chef” apron you had bought him as joke for his birthday last year.

Before you could even say a word about it, Megumi used his long legs to stride across the kitchen to give you a kiss to make you quiet.

“Shh, it was the only thing we had clean to cook curry in,” he groans into your kiss.

“I didn’t say I was complaining,” winking at him as he pulled away. “This looks absolutely perfect. How did you know today was a long one?”

“Just did,” he winks back. After a few more minutes of playful banter, you were feeling more at ease. You helped him set the table and proceeded to eat your dinner. Every bite helped relax you and by the time you were done eating, you had practically passed out at the table. Megumi gently tapped you awake to move you from the table to your shared bedroom. You didn’t even have the energy to clean the dishes tonight.

Megumi helped you undress, eyes not roaming from his task. He put you in your favorite set of pj’s and pulled down the covers while you brushed your teeth. As you climbed into bed, you let out a scream, startling Megumi.

“Huh? Are you okay?” He asked, hurrying over to your side in a blind panic.

“I have my licensing exam in 2 days! I haven’t studied for it at all!” you panicked. Your breathing had picked up and you started to hyperventilate. “I only have 1 day of actual studying I can do! Megumi, I need to go study right now!”

Megumi started to rub your back gently, already knowing that even if you did try to stay awake, he would have to move you back into the bedroom after 10 minutes. “Y/N, everything will be fine. You can study all day tomorrow. You are exhausted. You won’t be able to do your best if you aren’t rested. How about we go to bed for now and I can wake you when I get up in the morning to work out, hm?”

“But –”

“Nope, go to sleep. I will wake you in the morning. Love you, goodnight.” He pushes you down further into your pillow with little resistance. He moves across the room to climb into his side of bed, softly pulling you into him to cuddle. Your body was no longer putting up a fight and you passed out within 3 minutes of him pulling you close.

Around 5am, Megumi fulfilled his promise and woke you up from your slumber. You had around 8 hours of sleep and were feeling well enough rested to start studying. This would be easy, no problem.

There was most definitely a problem.

While you were trying to stare at your computer with intensity, you did not consider that Megumi was going to be working out in the living room. Shirtless. You could not keep your gaze off of him; you watched his strong back muscles flex every time he lifted the weights. He was doing upper body today and he was unknowingly giving you a show.

Focus, Y/N, focus. You have to become a doctor, stop looking at the sweat falling down his jaw in the most delicious way possible. BAD ME, you kept thinking over and over again. The words on your computer were starting to blur together and you’ve read this same line 15 times. You already knew the mitochondria was the powerhouse of the cell, why was it going to be on a licensing exam anyways? You peaked up again.

Oh god. It had already been an hour and Megumi was killing your soul. He had stripped down to just his compression shorts due to the humidity and now his thighs were on full display. You couldn’t stop yourself from licking your lips. All you wanted was a taste, just a small one. You could study later, right? You needed your boyfriend and every delectable part of him. Megumi had (finally) felt a pair of eyes on his back and turned around.

“Hm? You need something, Y/N?”

You wished you could die from embarrassment. How was he oblivious to his appeal? Did he not understand that he was a literal god walking on this earth? You had to get yourself together. No more distractions.

“I love you, but I need you to go away because you’re really bloody distracting and I have to pass this test tomorrow,” you accidentally shout at him.

“Ehhh? What do you mean? I’m just working out,” Megumi questioned you.

“You are shirtless, Gumi and I am not strong enough to just watch. Please leave.”

Megumi looked at you blankly for a few seconds before a mischievous grin took its place. “Well, that just won’t do. Maybe if you finish studying or need to take a break in the next 30 minutes, I may be able to give you what you want.”

Before you knew it, he had walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. You soon had the power of Lightning McQueen on your side. Speed, faster than faster, quicker than quick. I am speed. There was just no way you were going to be able to study now. You soon followed your boyfriend into the bathroom, and he fulfilled another unspoken promise.

[shunsuiken]

fluffy scenarios of kita, akaashi, and iwaizumi staying up with their fem s/o because she's studying for a big exam please & thank you

im serious when i tell u i couldnt stop smiling when i wrote this, thanks for requesting anon <3

kita, akaashi and iwaizumi staying up with their fem s/o because she’s studying for an exam.

—kita shinsuke.

kita is 100% the type of person who has a consistent sleeping schedule

like bitch will sleep at 10pm and wake up at 5am bright and early and fucking gorgeous

you’ll never catch this guy slippin’ (the inarizaki vbc will upvote this statement)

the latest he’ll stay up is midnight which means that hes going to take more of the afternoon and evening to study

you’ll be studying with him in his room and kita will make sure the surroundings are peaceful enough for you to study effectively

he never hesitates to help you with some topics you don’t understand for the classes you both take

sometimes gives you studying tips that are really helpful

you check the time just to see how far you’ve come- its almost 10pm

youre worried about kita because bby has to sleep and you don’t want him to stay up for you !!

“kita?? kita where’d you go?” you’ll call out, thinking he’s already getting ready to head to bed

but you find him in the kitchen and you smell... noodles??? you watch him pour them into two separate bowls huh?

“i know you’ll be staying up late so have some noodles to regain energy.” he’ll carefully glide the bowl over to your side of the table, his black-dyed hair tips were still damp from taking a shower earlier

oof sis were u that focused on ur work that you didn’t realise he went down to cook you sth??

you have your notes in your hands, walking over to the table and sitting down “you’re not heading to bed yet? you don’t have to wait for me yknow.”

he turns the stove off, bringing his bowl of noodles to the table. “don’t you still have a few topics to cover? let’s continue.”

your face goes :O but your heart goes 💓💓💓

unbeknownst to himself, he’ll casually play with your feet under the table while he asks you questions to answer omg :( hes so cute tf

youre basically having a midnight study date with him

he’ll also compliment you when he feels like you’re running out of energy because he knows it gives you energy boosts :”)))

—akaashi keiji.

i firmly believe that this bby is a master at all nighters and does them when necessary

so when 9pm or 10pm hits, you both are in the kitchen making coffee because you know you still have much more to study

you love watching keiji make coffee like sometimes you stop stirring your own just to watch him and when he notices hes like “😳😳 what”

and you just shrug “you’re cute”

i guess keiji’s not used to your random compliment bursts so he just //blushes//

and then u give him a kith because his cute face deserves it

youre also wearing his sweater because he has an abundance of them in his closet and you totally raid it every few days

you guys head back to his room and begin studying again

the night is tranquil and the house is silent, it truly feels so serene when you put aside the thought of your final exams

then you remind yourself of the reality and it feels like shit all over again

akaashi obviously senses your distress so he put a hand on your outstretched leg. the warmth plays with your cool skin, relaxing your nerves a tad bit

it was the little things he did that made u feel better and maybe if you squint a little harder, you’ll know he’s telling you “i love you”

akaashi’s gonna be finished with his coffee within five minutes LMAO hes a fast sipper

youre wondering how hes able to pull this off every few months but i guess everyone has their own secret super power no?

at some point you find yourself dozing off at 1.30

“you ready for tomorrow?” “absolutely not” pfft. akaashi’s gonna think. he’ll drag your ass to his bed so you can sleep properly and avoid straining a muscle

“get rest, love, you should at least be awake for the exam.” is the last thing hear before you fall asleep on his comfy sheets

—iwaizumi hajime.

lots of chaos in the beginning and thats because you two made a stupid joke about godzilla and now you can’t stop laughing like a dumbass  every time you look at iwa

“y/n look at me-” “PFFFTTT” its literally the middle of the night and youve probably awoken the dead 🤷🏻‍♀️ no biggie tho

lowkey makes it easier for you to study because you’re awake awake yknow?

iwa defs likes to take care of you. he’ll pass you a drink to sip on whenever it looks like youre about to lose concentration and asks you from time to time if you feel like youve studied enough

WILL GIVE YOU A MASSAGE but you tell him no because that’ll only make you sleepier

asks you questions about your exam material. he sometimes gets confused by the question because he doesn’t take that class

he actually finds it cute when you have to shut your eyes to think of the answer and when you open them, hes staring at you fondly

its like “😳 is there something on my face you porcupine”

DID I JUST CALL IWA A PORCUPINE

this will lead you two into tickle fights and iwa convinced (not really) you that you should have regular tickle fights because ENERGY and BRAIN AWAKE 👍🏼

“call me a porcupine one mo-” ok this is cute because he tickles a spot that is super ticklish for you and you look- omg- you look so adorable all smiley

back to the studying part haha oh no youre starting to get sleepy

but you don’t wanna sleep yet!! you barely covered enough but iwa’s been watching u study and hes pretty sure you’ve covered the entire book since you started earlier this morning

idk i just feel like it would be nice if you laid flat on his lap and he just asks you questions and you try to answer them

his touch is just very nice and makes you feel safe yknow :)

you end up dozing off most of the time but you do try your very best to stay awake pls stop ur making iwa combust

after fifteen minutes of questions, you’ll surrender, exhausted

“tired?” you’ll hum in agreement and he’ll flip you over just to carry you into bed, tucking you in

[his-mother-is-lightning]

We all know that Aziraphale hates customers. But I submit that he LOVES grad students.

- if asked (by Crowley, solely to fluster his Angel) he will say that it's completely reasonable to love people who want to study and discuss books? And that feeling he gets when they come and ask him for help isn't Pride no. It just so happens that having lived for millennia means he's the best primary source on the planet. It would be selfish to not share his knowledge really. Why shouldnt he feel good about helping young people learn? So it's really only lowercase 'pride' at most...

- ...I mean, it's just harmless satisfaction that he is spreading knowledge like God intended. Err, probably intended. This knowledge isnt that Forbidden Knowledge so it's fine, right? They're way past that at this point. Surely there is no objection to knowing about books?

- if you were to ask Crowley, he will point out that grad students can't afford to actually buy any books. But no one has ever asked him

- back when the shop first opened, poor Aziraphale was struggling with the realization that people might get suspicious if never lets anyone buy any of his books. And in walks in some poor, exhausted student from Kings or London University who has spent the last 10hrs looking in every bookstore and library around for an original copy of 'The Tamer Tamed'. So they stumble in, turn to Aziraphale and ask if he has any 17th century editions of Fletcher's work. They just need to look at it bc every copy they've found has been edited.

- does Aziraphale have a 17th century editions of Flecher's 'The Woman's Prize, or The Tamer Tamed'? What an absurd question! He has the first edition, printed in 1647. Two copies in fact, one with notes in the margins written by an early actor that Aziraphale particularly liked. It was, after all, one of Crowley's favorite plays from that period.

- (Crowley claims that he has nothing to do with the plays popularity when compared to the work it was in response to, 'The Taming of the Shrew'. Yes, he preferred the feminist-leaning work by Fletcher, but it's not his fault the audience agreed with him) [1]

- the look on this students face when Aziraphale sits them down at his desk and brings over this folio - full of relief and gratitude - have the angel feeling a bit chuffed. So much so that, as he's closing the shop for the day, he tells them to come back tomorrow if they need another look. And thus one of the great student pilgrimages of London is born

- at the beginning of each term, new students make their way to this strange, magical bookstore run by a nice, possibly-immortal man. Group visits are discouraged, as they seem to make the owner nervous.

- fellow students (and sometimes professors) warn newcomers that the owner doesn't actually want people to buy any books. But if go and tell him that you just want to look at them for a class, he will let you come and look around.

- actually, browsing isn't recommended: depending on his mood, Mr. Fell (the owner) may encourage you to look around or he may decide to suddenly close early, or find some way to get you out the door. It's always safest to ask Mr. Fell for something specific, the more obscure the better: he likes it when he has the exact thing you're looking for

- there are snakes in the shelves - well, one snake, probably. Just like Mr. Fell, this snake has been hiding in the shelves since the store opened and never ages. It loves to jump out and scare customer, but is generally considered harmless unless you damage or mistreat the books. There are numerous accounts of people being bitten for dog-earing pages, putting cups on books, and general rudeness.

note: do not refer to the snake as Mr. Fell's pet. He tends to get rather indignant if you do (Mr. Fell, not the snake. If anything, you would think the snake finds Mr. Fell's reaction amusing) Think of it as his slightly terrifying roommate who occasionally hides in the shelves or curls up by/on Mr. Fell to nap

- A. Z Fell & Co had the world's least comprehensible business hours. He could be closed for days or weeks at a time, then open 24hrs for a month without explanation. Often, he would open at 4 or 5AM then close around lunch, then open again after he finished lunch (anywhere between 1 and 4PM). There was one 11 year span when the shop was almost always closed - university's saw a drop in grades in several departments until it finally opened again. If he recognizes you, sometimes you will arrive to find the store closed, only for him to suddenly open the door and let you in because he was "just about to open up".

- Mr. Fell can easily be bribed when someone needs to stay after closing or come in early the next day. Down the block and across the street is a bakery: it has had many names over the years, but it has been supplying students with bribes in the form of cream puffs, eclairs, Turkish delights, and other sweet treats since the bookstore opened. Students scrambling before a deadline got 10 cents off their purchase.

- while he never seems to know what day it is, or what year it is (see: immortal), he always remembers when it's time for exams because suddenly the shop is open at all hours, and Mr. Fell "just so happens" to have trays of sandwiches and fruit leftover, and wouldn't they help him finish it? It'll spoil, after all. Outside food and drinks are never allowed but suddenly there are little plates and napkins on a table by the door, and stacks of strange coasters from all over the world. Coffee is not allowed but tea is. Of course, everyone knows that Mr. Fell makes the BEST hot cocoa and if you put a coaster next to you, he will bring you a mug of cocoa, always at the perfect temperature.

- as revisions comes to a close, you will find almost a dozen students at Fell & Co. They will be slumped at a desk or curled up on the floor by the windows, cups of cooling cocoa and plates of healthy snacks left in places where they couldn't spill onto the books. Colorful blankets come out of a back room as Mr. Fell tidies up, smiling fondly as he drapes them over the slumbering students

- there are stories of people whose old, cruddy laptops seem to work better in the bookshop. People listening to music (quietly, of course) may notice that the songs that come up on shuffle are always exactly what they wanted to hear. Notes you could have sworn you left at home or lost show up at the bottom of your bookbag. Documents you should have lost when your computer crashed can be recovered. One Martin Pryce insists that in 2014, he brought his broken bike to the store and when he came out again, it was fixed. He actually went up to Mr. Fell as he closed shop and asked him about it but Mr. Fell insisted he had nothing to do with it. Martin says Mr. Fell sounded like he was telling the truth, but looked very pleased and muttered something about it being a "minor miracle", which is a bit much for a bike.

- if there are a thousand stories about Mr. Fell and his bookshop, there are just as many about the man in the fancy black car who comes around sometimes. Many have speculated on the nature of the men's relationship, ranging from torrid love affairs to blackmail to Dickensian-level family drama. But the only thing you really need to know is that when you see that fancy black car parked by the shop, you best just to home. The store is most definitely closed.

1. One account survives of the audiences reactions to the two plays. 'Shrew' was performed first and was "liked". 'Tamed Tamed' was performed after and it was "very well liked". Whether or not this account is from Crawley is impossible to say.

Now with a a furiously doting Crowley sequel

Aaaand a fanfic 

[renjunvinates]

Latte Love

summary; he’s always there whenever you order coffee, he’s always asking about how your day is and is always checking up on you, and you’re only assuming he does these things because that’s his job, but little do you know. 

genre: barista!jaehyun, cafeAU!, strangers to lover, fluff

pairing: Jung Jaehyun x reader (college student)

wc: 2732

- 

Normally you’re not the type of person to drink coffee everyday, but with midterms always creeping up and then finals weeks attacking you, coffee was a requirement for you and your body. That was the only thing that would keep yourself and your body sane. Luckily, you lived close to a coffee shop, at this point you would consider yourself a regular considering you would go there everyday now. You didn’t mind it though, there was a cute barista and you couldn’t help but continue to go there because of him, he was always so nice to you, but you always assumed that he was just a nice person in general and besides it’s his job to provide good customer service. He would always ask about your day when he rang you up, and it was always funny that he would always be the one who rang you up, he would smile with his cute dimples appearing. So, as days passed and you became a regular there, you found out his name was Jaehyun, he works there almost everyday and all of the girls there are blessed by him and they always try to talk to him. You on the other hand look at him from afar and admire him from afar, and besides you had to focus on your assignments and study for tests and exams.

“Good morning!” Jaehyun greeted.

“Good morning,” You smiled.

“How’s your morning?” He asked.

“It’s going okay, just a regular day to study and finish my assignments,”

“Must be rough, well how can I help you?”

“I’ll take a vanilla latte today,”

“Sure thing! Don’t worry if you need to refill, I got your back,” He winked.

“I’ll be sure to let you know,” Your heart raced fast when he winked at you, you smiled and laugh nervously

He smiled and waved and your heart did a flip and bursted into an explosion, maybe you should stop coming here and go somewhere else… but he was so nice and cute, no wonder all the girls like him. You aren’t special, he’s just being nice and doing his job, you need to stop overthinking.

You went to go look for an empty table and luckily found one, it was sometimes super hard finding a table, considering all of his fan girls always steal the tables and just sit there and stare at him. Quite frankly it was very annoying because you needed a table to study, but then again, you were kind of like the girls, from time to time you would sneak small glances at him and see him work and make drinks. It seemed like Jaehyun didn’t mind the stares and didn’t mind working, in fact it looked like he enjoyed working and it seemed like he liked his job.

As you sat down at the table, you took all of your things out and organized it on the desk, you basically took up the whole table, but you needed too. Jaehyun walked over and placed the latte on to your table with pastries and smiled at you.

“My treat, a small snack won’t hurt,” He smiled.

“Thanks,” You smiled.

He is the death of you, and he’s going to be the death of you, he was so nice and considerate, you felt bad, you should’ve offered to pay him back, but didn’t have the courage to say anything but a simple thanks. All the girls glared at you and made nasty faces, they were jealous, but you wondered what they were jealous for. It was just a simple treat, nothing too important to be upset about, but you didn’t care, you needed to finish these assignments and study for your upcoming exams.

A couple of hours have passed and you decided to take a break, you stood up and stretched for a bit and sat down and took a deep breath. You were very tired and wanted to sleep but you knew better not too. You put your head down for a bit and it was until you felt someone's presence in front of you and heard the opposite chair move, you put you or head back up and saw Jaehyun sitting in front of you.

“I hope you don’t mind if I join you right?” He asked.

“I don’t but why me?” You asked.

“Well it just seemed like you needed a break, and well I’m on break also,” He smiled.

“Somewhat fair, I’ll say yes, because you gave me a treat,” You joked.

“I’ll take it, so how’s your studying going along,”

“Boring as usual. I cannot wait till this quarter is over, so I can be free and don’t have to drown myself in coffee,”

“Doesn’t that mean you’ll stop coming here?”

“Probably, it’s my last quarter there,”

“Can I ask what your name is?”

“That’s right, you don’t my name, I’m (y/n) Lee. Nice to meet you Jaehyun,”

“How did you know my name?”

“Uhm your name tag? And I hope you’re not dense but majority of the girls here fangirl about you so that also gives it away,”

“Right.. well I noticed you were regular here!”

“Yeah, I live close by, and it’s a good place to study and have a coffee majority of the time,”

“Well if you need anything this place is always here for you, as well as I am,”

You looked at him weirdly, and he realized what he said was kind of weird and awkward, his ears started to turn red and he was panicking trying to speak words but it was really scattered. You chucked at I’m and smiled at him, he was really cute and you didn’t know if your heart could bear this cuteness.

“I mean.. No… that's not.. I mean, I’m here to serve you coffee, because you know that’s my job,” He panicked.

“I know what you meant,” You laughed.

He looked at you and smiled, you could feel your cheeks turn red, and you looked down at your notes, trying to take deep breaths to calm yourself down.

“I think it’s time for me to go back to study again, you should go,” You said.

“Oh right, thanks for letting me sit down with you on my break, I’ll let you study again. Let me know if you need any more coffee later,” He smiled.

“Thanks Jaehyun,” You thanked.

You looked at him and he got up and smiled and waved off to you, and proceeded to go back to the counter and continue his work. After he went back you felt strong stares and turned around and saw a bunch of girls looking at you with angered faces. You turned back to your notes and heavily sighed, maybe it was better to not come back here if these girls were going to keep staring you down. You decided to ignore all the stares and continue to just focus on your studies.

More hours have passed and it seemed like it was night time already, you looked up at the place and it seemed more packed than usual, and you thought maybe it was a good time to pack up and leave and head home to do some more studying instead of here. You looked around to see if Jaehyun was still working, and you were correct, he was still ringing up customers and more girls came to stare at him. He looked very cute while working, and his smile to the customers seemed very cute. You were debating whether you should buy another drink before heading home. It seemed very busy and you didn’t want to bother and add more stress to Jaehyun, but a part of you wanted to talk to him and say goodbye to him before leaving.

You decided to wait it out until the line lessened and then decided to get your drink, you made the excuse in your head that you needed more coffee to stay up tonight to study for your exams. After the line got shorter you went up to him and he smiled at you.

“More coffee?” He asked.

“You bet, I got a big test soon, I need to study more,” You replied.

“You know, you should give yourself a break sometime,” He smiled. “You’ve been studying the whole day,”

“Oh? Were you staring at me?” You joked.

“What… No.. Of course not,” He stuttered.

“I’m joking Jae,” You laughed and then stopped, you realized you called him Jae. You thought to yourself, it was too soon to call him Jae, “I mean Jaehyun.”

“You can call me Jae, that’s fine,” He smiled. “So what would you like (y/n)?”

“I guess tonight, I will take an iced caramel macchiato,” You sighed.

“Alright, coming right up,” Jaehyun smiled.

You nodded and walked away and waited for your drink to be called, and after a few minutes he called out your drink and you walked towards him and went to grab your drink, he gave you another treat and you looked at him weirdly.

“You haven’t eaten anything the whole day today besides the other treat I gave you, take it,” He smiled.

“Jaehyun, I can’t. I don’t want you to get fired! Oh my goodness no,” You panicked.

“Don’t worry I bought the treat, just take it,” He smiled.

“You didn’t have too,” You frowned.

“I wanted too (y/n), just take it, you’re distracting me from my work,” He joked.

“Fine, thanks Jae,” You blushed and walked away.

“Bye (y/n)! See you tomorrow!” He said as he waved goodbye to you.

Your face turned red and you waved at him back and left, he knew he was a flirt and he knew he was playing with your feelings. You were falling for him and it wasn’t fair. You didn’t have time for romance, not now, but you couldn’t help it. You arrived home and debated whether you should skip out going to the cafe tomorrow, maybe it was better to avoid him, but you didn’t want too, he was just being nice to you, he’s just providing good customer service, that his job, you thought to yourself in order to convince yourself that he doesn’t like you.

In the end you lost sleep not because of studying but because of debating whether you should head to the coffee shop or not. You looked at your phone and realized it was 9AM already, you didn’t sleep until 5AM, you tossed and turned in bed thinking about Jaehyun. You felt very gross and pathetic, what were you doing? You didn’t care anymore, today was the day you were going to the cafe shop and confront him and tell him you like him, and if he doesn’t feel the same way then he should stop doing all these things for you, because if he continues to do these things, you can’t help but to fall for him more.

You started walking towards the coffee shop, and once you reached the place you grabbed the handle and closed your eyes and took a deep breath and walked in. You looked up and saw him at the register and he waved and smiled at you, your heart was beating very fast and you smiled at him and waved. You walked up to the register and he greeted you.

“Good morning, did you have a good sleep today?” Jaehyun asked.

“Not quite, I was stressed out about something and couldn’t sleep,” You sighed.

“Are the exams that stressful for you?”

“Not quite, they’re fine… It was about something else…” You trailed off.

“Oh? We can talk more about this when I’m on my break if you want. So what would you like today?”

“I’ll take a vanilla latte again,”

“Okay, coming right up!”

He smiled at you sweetly and his dimples appeared, you couldn’t help and stare, but realized there was somebody behind you and you walked away and headed towards the pick up area. As you were waiting for your drink you looked around to find a table, and this time you were in no luck, maybe today wasn’t the day to confess or ask him.

As you looked in the far back to see if maybe there was just a tad bit of hope left and you saw an empty table, your eyes shined and you felt relieved until you saw someone sat down and your feelings disappeared, you looked at the guy who sat down and realized it was Mark Lee. You smiled and rushed over to Mark and gave him a big hug.

“Mark Lee! What are you doing here! You’re suppose to be in Canada!!” You asked,

“I just got back, relax (y/n). It’s great to see you too,” He smiled.

“You should’ve texted me or called me, you big dork,” You smiled.

“Sorry, I was actually gonna show up and surprise you but I had some paperwork to do. What are you doing here?”

“Uh, can we actually wait, let me get my drink first,”

He nodded and you went back to the pick up drink area, Jaehyun looked at you and didn’t smile, he gave you the drink and then walked away without a word. Your heart sank a little bit, you grabbed the drink and walked away and walked towards the table where Mark was sitting.

“Something wrong?” He asked.

“It’s actually about the guy who works here…” You trailed off

“You mean Jaehyun?”

“What? You know about him?”

“He’s my roommate,”

“HE’S YOUR WHAT?”

“My roommate? Wait… Why? Wait… Do you like him (y/n)?”

“He’s cute,” You pouted. “How can you not like him,”

“I mean… I guess,” He shrugged, and then his eyes widened. “Wait, are you the girl he likes…?”

“What do you mean? He likes someone here?”

“Yeah, he came home after work and started talking about a girl and said that she needed a break from studying and that she’s too hard on herself. He ended rambling and saying that the girl is very cute and he admires her,”

Your face turned red and you remembered your conversation with Jaehyun from last night. You started sipping on your drink and avoided eye contact with Mark as you felt him staring you down.

“So it is you huh?” He asked.

“We had a similar conversation last night, and he somewhat said the same things you just said,”

“Well what are you waiting for! Go talk to him,”

“I can't. He didn't even look at me and give me a smile when I went to go get my drink, he was being kind of cold towards me…”

“Maybe he thinks we’re dating,” Mark joked.

“Gross! You’re like my little brother,”

“And you’re like my big sister,” He rolled his eyes. “I have an idea!”

“What are you thinking,” You asked in concern.

“Trust me you’ll thank me later for this,” He winked. Mark grabbed out his phone and started typing super fast and then he stopped.

You looked at him then heard a phone drop, you looked over to see who it was and it was Jaehyun and then he looked at you and started walking to you.

“Mark Lee, what the fuck did you say to him,”

“That you liked him and that we’re not dating and he should ask you out instead of being a stubborn prick,” Mark laughed.

“MARK LEE, I WASN’T READY AT LEAST WARN ME,” You whined.

“You better prep yourself, he’s coming closer to us,” Mark smiled.

“I wanted to tell him, ugh you’re the prick!” You pouted.

You felt a tap on your shoulder, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath and then turned around and saw Jaehyun looking at you and smiling at you.

“Hi,” He greeted.

“Hi,” You smiled.

“So, it seems like I might've assumed the wrong thing,” He nervously laughed.

“Apparently so, because Mark and I are not dating and I certainly don’t like him,” You replied.

“Sorry,” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I just assumed because I saw you came running to him,”

“It’s okay, I was just excited to see him, because SOMEONE didn’t tell me he was coming back,”

“I see,” He smiled, “Well actually… I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date… wel after you finals are done or whatever,”

“I would love too,” You smiled.

-

a/n: pls motivate me and tell me you want me to make more content bc I somehow no motivation to write and make stuff anymore this sucks, this has been siting in my drafts for 4 months lmao sorry. 

[catiov]

Okay, first of all sorry for my English, it’s not my first language and also here it’s 5am and I’m pretty tired.

this ep was… good in some way. We can see this two dork trying to survive with all the losses they had, trying to have a normal life (I want know the name of the dog), been happy together at the bunker. Also Dean died as he like, Sam had is fricking happy family, Dean had his baby and perhaps all friends too (don’t really understand what Bobby said to him, I was kinda trying to not make a sound while crying ‘cause every one here are sleeping) in his heaven. And at the end the two dork share the same heaven

Yeah it was good

But! No! At the same time so much was off. We had a happy morning and happy pie festival, everyone was happy but lil sad ‘cause Cas and Jack are gone (U guys don’t care about Eileen? Nope? Ooookkkkaaayyy). They said some sappy things and than joke (that’s remember me what happened with Misha years ago, I kinda see that scene like a lil revenge).

Than boom! Change! They found a case. A father killed, mother without tongue (right?), kid disappeared. They showed up like always and... stop, we don’t have anything more. A lil search? A lil “ask to someone”? Something? Nope. But it’s okay, I can understand that y’all have only 40min, more or less, and they wanna say a lot of things, so let's ignore it.

They showed up again in front of a house, killed one vamp and hurt the other (at first I think they killed the other one too, but thankfully no), asked some question (where was the torture part? But, right.. 40 min) and than went to the nest.

So.. guys, I know you are two dork. But how dafuck you can forgot how to fight? Really. That was a pretty shitty fight. They was knock out really fast, and what with this old character? She just “yes I’m here” and Sam “no you’re not” all in 4 seconds... guys really? Wtf? That Dean and the big vamp boy fight again. I sow the screw and I thought “this lil matherfucker thing gonna kill someone”, and I was right! But I didn’t thing it would kill Dean.

Than we had this beautiful sad part, and Jensen was was so… wow! Really wow! Jared too, so good. I cried (it’s difficult for me crying, so for me this was a really beautiful scene) I cried so much. But also I was just “Ehy! You have a dammit phone! Call someone!” Than I remembered the body but guys.. a person can’t die for blood lost so fast, belive me. At last if it’s not the heart, but it wasn’t because you are a real real mess if it’s the heart, also he move himself a little for Sam to touch his back so nope, definetly not heart. You have only some seconds not a whole minute. So Sam can at least trying to save him, call someone, move the body. But he stayed there ‘cause Dean asked him

And okay that’s sappy, what Dean said was fantastic, beautiful. And no! It wasn’t winchest = couple thing, but winchest = brother thing. I have a lil brother, I’m ready to die for him, I litteraly saved his life two times, I love stay with him, I can’t live without him, I hug him, cuddle with him, argue with him, try to “kill” him, have fun with him. Your relationship is similar to the one Sam and Dean have, and no! We never thought about each other in romantic and sexual way. We say to each other “I love you” not so much, it’s embarrassing but in a brothers way. And them too, they aren’t lovers they are brothers.

Btw Dean died in a stupid way cause this time you really don’t saw the screw while fighting? It was near you for some seconds. But in other ep you spot somthing in 1 second.... So he died and go to heaven, beautiful heaven that Cas had created for him.

and I don’t wanna say it but I’m gonna say it anyway: why dafuck he didn’t said anything? Boy! I don’t ask for an “I love you/him too”, no, I now it’s not a Deans thing, but boy at least an “thank you Cas, I miss you”? Why not? It’s not gay, if you are afraid of that. You already done in the past. So sad

But go on, he met Bobby and that’s was awesome, I like Bobby, everyone (I think) like him, but the other? I know he need a someone, only one that help him go through all that happen, help him to understand he was dead and other shit (that he didn’t really explain), but at the ending, seen everyone welcome him, only with voice at last I think it’s more… beautiful. Than he can have one or two minutes talking with Bobby and than he can decided to drive baby. But I’m not the writer so I’m stopping here

So! The end. Dean drove baby. Sam started a family. Dean drove more (time’s different in heaven). Sam got older. Dean drove more. Sam touched the car and it’s feels like he can felt Dean alive with him, remembered all past things. Dean drove like there was no tomorrow and Sam finally died.

Beautiful happy scene where Dean got out of the car, watched in front of him, felt the presence of his brother behind him, turned around and a “young” Sam was near him and “hey! Now we can have your forever happy”. Yeah lil bitch, and all the season where you aren’t happy cause you were missing someone? Where we put all of that? In the trash? But okay, perhaps a not so happy heaven (I can’t believe they can’t feel all the pain they felt on earth only cause they are in heaven with each other, I just can’t)

For Cas at the other side, I’m not disappointed, I’m sad, I wasn’t expected them to bring him back to life, he was dead and for good that time. And no one (but jack I think) can bring him back. So, not disappointed, but I was hoping for him anyway.. I know he’s never be a true protagonist, only Sam and Dean are the true protagonist, but after all this years he deserve better too. That’s all

Also we have a beautiful character development in all this season and more in these last ep, where are all of that’s in this one? Where?! Really? A flat character? Ah! Guys.. a facepalm is good at this point. They aren’t the two lil dorky boy of the beginning, they are two men now, with a fucking character development! But okay.. okay..

So. Everything happy, good and other shitty emotion, but in reality I’m disappointed. The ep is so fast, so senseless, leave with so much question and nope I can’t belive they, the people that give us 15 season, that give us 327 of beautiful ep, come out with this fast and banged up ending. Nope!

Okay I’m edit this one: I like this ending, really, I like it, they all have what they want, what they deserve (okay Dean don’t deserve to die, but he deserve that kind of death because he want it in that way), they share their heaven, they share beautiful moments, beautiful feelings, they’re gonna be forever together (when your soulmate, not romantic way please, is your brother, fantastic), it’s really beautiful and kinda perfect. I’m ONLY disappointed because something was off, because I think they can give us more, because I think it was a fast endings. It’s like when you prepare an exam the day before of that mf exam. Soo strange, so fast, so senseless in some way. And stop, only because that. I don’t wanna spread hate, I only said my opinion on this ep. If you don’t like, please, just ignore it. And also in this post I don’t really care about Cas, I was hopping, hopping so bad for his return, that’s true, but we all known he was dead for good, they sold the scene like that, so don’t came to me and say I’m disappointed ‘cause him please

Ps: you also notice the hairs of Dean at the ending? They was gray? I think yes

[ilovereadingandilovebreathing]

I wish you would write a fic where peter has some trouble sleeping and he goes to tony for help (irondad is best and I love how you write them)

A/N: I added a Read More break in this; I’m so sorry if it isn’t working on your Dash or in mobile. 

---

((WOW as per usual this took forever; I’m so sorry, and thank you for your patience!!!))

I can do that. As many of my IronDad fics are these days, this is set in a Post-Endgame Universe that ends the way we deserved it to. (Also thank you?? So much????) As per usual, I don’t know if this is what you envisioned, but here it is anyway. I hope you like it!

— 

A Week in the Life of an Overly Anxious Insomniac (a.k.a. Post-Finals Week)

-

Friday

Peter Parker crawls in through his bedroom window after the fullest week of his whole life. He’s just finished his Junior year of high school, meaning that his end-of-year finals are the roughest and toughest, and he’s barely made it through them unscathed. Peter’s an above average student for above average students, much less the general population, so he keeps up with his studies well, especially after Tony and May teamed up to implement some Big Brother-level safe guards to make sure he was held accountable for his allotted homework and Spider-Man hours. 

The teenager pulls himself upright and runs a hand through his hair, a deep sigh emanating from his chest as he pulls off his Spider-Man suit. He glances at the clock; 1:30AM shines back silently at him, the one-time extended patrol hours Tony and May had allowed him in light of the end of the school year and successful exams.

Once he’s free of his enhanced spandex, Peter pulls on a t-shirt and sweatpants and collapses onto his bed, his nose buried in his covers, but his eyes remain open. He stares languidly at a spot on his wall, likely food from his and Ned’s last sleepover. 

The seconds tick past, soon turning into minutes, and then an hour has gone by, and somehow he’s still wide awake. He’s tried to drop off multiple times, but a prickling sensation across his back, like’s he’s being watched, keeps him from relaxing into sleep.

Peter sighs in frustration and takes out his phone, scrolling through countless ridiculous news articles until his body shuts itself off around 5AM.

Saturday

Peter awakes at 9:30AM and groans. At least it’s Saturday, so he can sleep more. He rolls over just in time for his phone to go wild where he’d discarded it beneath his bed earlier that morning. He gropes blindly for the device and clicks it on, sleepily scrolling through the barrage of messages in his group chat with Ned and MJ. 

Ned: Expo day!

MJ: Expo day.

Ned: Peter!! EXPO DAY!

Ned: P

Ned: E

Ned: T

Ned: E

Ned: R

Ned: WAKE UP

Peter rolls his eyes but can’t suppress a grin as he types out his response.

Peter: I’m awake geez

It’s not even until 4PM

Ned: Yeah, but still. We have to make sure we have our itinerary down and the layout of the place just in case something ya know crazy happens.

Peter: Right yeah sure

MJ: I’m not wearing the matching t-shirts

Ned: Pleeeeeaaassse MJ!!!!!!!!

MJ: …..without something else over it

Ned: *peace fingers emoji*

MJ: why didn’t you just send the actual emoji

Ned: You have an IPhone. The emojis always show up differently.

MJ: Not that one, idiot

Ned: Oh whatEVER

Peter nearly drops his phone on his face, so he rolls to his side and types out a final message.

Peter: I’m hitting snooze. See you guys this afternoon.

Peter switches his phone to silent mode and lays an arm over his face. After a week of multiple all-nighters on top of a full patrol and 4 ½ hours of sleep last night (this morning, he corrects himself with a grunt), he just wants to sleep until he absolutely has to be up. He sends a quick wake-up call request to May before pulling his covers back over his head.  

-

Peter, Ned, and MJ crash at Ned’s apartment around 12:30AM. The Expo (an invitation courtesy of Tony Stark, of course) had been incredible, showcasing the latest and greatest technology on the market and coming to the market, from Stark Industries to OsCorp and everything in between. 

The trio reclines on the Leeds’ comfy sectional, Ned passing out as soon as his body hits the cushions. MJ is curled in a half doze in the crook of the couch, and Peter spreads along the unoccupied middle section, propped sidelong against the back. He stares at his crossed ankles as the TV plays quietly in the background. His vision swims in and out of focus, trying to let him fall into sleep, but something keeps pulling him back just as he’s on the brink, like fingers trailing across his back. 

Peter knows no one else is in the room with him. He hears Ned and MJ’s separate, steady breathing on either side of him, but something about their presences, how strongly he can sense them, keeps him from falling out of consciousness. Their presence should be a comforting tether, but he finds it more restrictive now. He shakes his head minutely at the thought.

After about fifteen minutes, Peter sighs in defeat and positions himself to watch Nickelodeon’s late night programming, finally dropping off around 4AM.

-

Sunday

Sadly for Peter, Ned and MJ are both early risers; they stir around 7:30 but lay poking at their phones until 8. Peter tries to fall back to sleep, but MJ’s accusatory “faker” has him popping his eyes open to defend himself. 

“I think I deserve it.” Peter grumbles while rubbing an eye. “My longest night of sleep all week was like 5 ½ hours. Maybe.”

“That’s unhealthy.”

“That’s finals week.”

“I wish you’d told us, Peter.” Ned chimes in with a yawn. “We could have come home way earlier last night.” 

“It’s fine.” Peter sighs and pushes himself up. “It was totally worth it. I’ll probably pass out tonight, so it’s fine.”

-

As if the universe loves proving him wrong, that evening once again finds Peter restless. He can’t seem to get comfortable in any position.

Left side.

Right side.

Back.

Stomach.

He even swaps his head to the foot of the bed and tries a diagonal position.

No dice.

He tenses up every muscle in his body and releases.

He keeps his eyes open for as long as he can without blinking.

He tries to force his breathing to become heavy and even.

Nothing.

His mind and body are exhausted, he can feel it, but they just refuse to shut off.

Peter pulls his pillow over his face and groans loudly.

-

Monday

Peter gets about 3 hours of sleep before May pokes her head in to ask for his help; she’s been on a minimalist kick lately and wants Peter to help her carry her donations to her car.

He smiles bitterly when he sees the black Sharpie scribbles on the outsides of the boxes:

Ben’s Clothes

Peter’s Toys

Wedding Pictures

Kitchen

Labels marked over and re-named Donations. 

Peter’s eyes are suddenly watery, and he quickly deposits the boxes in May’s car before running a hand over his face. 

May shoots him an inquisitive look but drops the issue, giving him a quick squeeze of a hug before thanking him and getting in her car. Peter waves as she leaves and sighs.

He could text Ned or MJ to go get coffee, but the walking distance just seems to far today.

He goes back upstairs and spends the day watching lame TV on the couch.

He doesn’t sleep at all that night.

-

Tuesday

Peter spends the whole day keeping busy. He organizes and cleans the apartment. He volunteers to walk his neighbors’ dogs. He goes for lunch with MJ and Ned and even sets out early as Spider-Man. 

The evening hours come around, and he settles in with May on the couch watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. They keep score, Peter easily beating all of the contestants, and he begs May to stay with him and play with his hair as he puts on the most boring documentary he can find.

May acquiesces after studying him briefly, but she nods off after about half an hour, her hand resting in his hair. 

Peter puts his hands over his face and swallows a sob, painfully, fully awake.

-

Wednesday

It’s starting to get to him, the lack of sleep.

He ignores May that morning when she calls to him to join her for french toast and fruit.

He tells Ned and MJ he can’t swing lunch that day though he has nothing planned.

He nearly cries when his phone lights up with his reminder that Tony Stark is back from his business trip, and again when said man sends him a message.

Tony: Hey, squirt. I’m back stateside. You free to come to the Lakehouse for a few days? Mo misses you.

Peter actually takes a few moments to consider before he catches himself. Not a good sign.

Peter: Yeah, I’m free. I’ll come tomorrow.

-

Thursday

Peter kisses May goodbye that morning with a promise of letting her know when he gets to the Cabin. 

Happy comes for him around 10:30, and it’s after noon by the time they pull up to Tony Stark’s home away from home. 

Morgan is on the porch the moment their car doors slam and is tackling Peter nearly to the ground before he can reach the trunk to get his bag. She squeezes the air from his lungs as she babbles excitedly about how they’re going to spend the next few days, her first days of summer vacation, together. 

“Let him breathe, Monkey.” 

Peter looks up to find Tony on the porch, metal arm on a post and flesh arm waving lightly. Peter ushers up a smile and a small wave in return before hoisting Morgan up into his arms. The teenager crosses to the porch stops before his mentor. 

“Made it through another finals week, huh?”

“Barely.” Peter’s tone is more biting than he wants, and he hopes Tony didn’t notice. He’s definitely giving Peter a once-over now.

“Hap? Take Morgan inside, please?”

“Sure. Come here, Princess.”

“Uncle Happy, can I have cookies?”

“Don’t let her fool you, Hap; she’s already had her post-lunch snack.”

Morgan folds her arms and pouts as Happy chuckles and takes her inside. 

“He didn’t say anything about juice pops-” 

“Traitor.” Tony mumbles as Happy shuts the door behind them.

It’s quiet for a moment, the lake lapping at the shoreline barely audible as they look out and then at each other. Tony’s gaze stays on Peter, and the boy can’t help but look away.

“What’s up, kid?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your eyes are bloodshot. And last time I checked, Pep didn’t pop out a ten ton toddler, so Morgan shouldn’t be able to knock you over like that.”

“I was just playing with her.”

“Uh huh. Well,” Tony is clearly a bit peeved with Peter, but he drops the issue. “I assume you haven’t had lunch yet, so maybe some food in you will make you more talkative.”

“Thanks.”

“Turkey?”

“Perfect.”

-

Peter passes the afternoon between Tony and Morgan, the former occupying him with projects in his small workshop and the latter demanding to be occupied by him all over the property.

For all intents and purposes, he should be exhausted. 

And yet 2:30AM finds him wide awake and near to breaking.

He’s laying on his side facing his clock, the red letters displaying “2:31AM.” He stares and stares and stares until he feels like the letters are bored into his brain. He closes his eyes, and they pop back open again like they’re on a spring.  

Peter rolls into his back and stares at the dark patches on his ceiling, remnants of the knotholes that used to be, tensing and relaxing his gaze, squinting and releasing, rolling his eyes around in vain hopes of exhausting his eyes to closing with no luck.

He flips onto his left side with a huff and curls into the fetal position, hoping somehow he can trick his anxiety-ridden brain into believing he is safe and can sleep soundly. He’s in the middle of the woods of New York in what is likely the safest cabin in the entire world, and yet his body refuses to relax and let him sleep. 

Peter slaps his comforter in frustration and bolts upright, his heartbeat drumming painfully in his chest and blood pumping in his ears. He swings his feet over the side of the bed, grabs his Midtown hoodie, and slides open the window; he sits on the edge for a moment or two before dropping silently to the ground. Slipping his hands into his hoodie pocket, Peter quietly follows the moonlit path to the dock; he stands there for a little while, tracing every shape and shadow the reflected glow will let him see, listening to every scuttle and shuffle in the trees and on the ground. 

He wouldn’t pick out the light footsteps in any other circumstance, but their contrast to those he’s more familiar with sets him at ease.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up.” Peter chokes out as Pepper comes to stand beside him.

The woman is hugging her bathrobe to herself despite the warmth of the season, but she doesn’t seem agitated from what Peter can tell. 

“You didn’t.” There’s an undercurrent of a scoff in her tone. “Overseas conference call. We had to meet on their terms.”

“That’s not fair.”

“We trade off.” 

“Oh.”

They stand in silence for a few beats before Pepper sighs.

“He struggles with insomnia, too, you know.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Afghanistan. His heart. New York. That crazy Russian. Hammer. Ultron. Thanos. St-….Everything. I’d be amazed if he went through everything he has while maintaining a decent sleep schedule.” Pepper’s tone is a little hard, but Peter knows she doesn’t mean ill will toward him. She’s been with Tony through far longer than he has. She’s quiet for a few seconds before quietly adding, her tone lighter, “He called an Iron Man suit on me once.”

Peter sucks in a breath. 

“I don’t think he meant to, but he had so much going on that he wasn’t dealing with already, and…we were going through a rough patch…The anxiety was eating him alive. Don’t tell him I told you all of that.” Her tone is more conspiratorial than regretful. “He’s never forgiven himself for it, but you should know. He deals with it, too. The anxiety. Feeling unsettled all the time.”

“There’s just…always something. I feel like can’t really rest.”

Pepper nods. “I don’t know the full scope of your abilities, but May’s told me about your…Peter Tingle?”

Peter cringes. “Spider Sense is what I prefer, but yeah. Maybe that’s related to all of this.”

“Probably.” Pepper is quiet for a moment. “You know…he would do whatever he needs to help. All you have to do is ask.”

“Okay.” Peter turns just a bit and gives her a tired smile. “Thanks, Pepper.”

“Of course, sweetheart.” Pepper holds out an arm for him, and he gladly steps in to it. 

Peter will always be secretly, selfishly thankful for how Morgan softened the Starks while he was gone, allowing him to fall in their never-ending streams of comfort that didn’t exist before he disappeared. 

Peter feels a pull where Pepper’s hand rests on his shoulder, and he allows her to guide them back inside. He falls asleep an hour later.

-

Tony has multiple business calls the next day, so it’s mid-afternoon when Peter finally gets some alone time with his mentor-turned-father-figure. They’re sitting on a small pier Tony built over the lake, swinging on a bench swing Morgan insisted they needed after Pepper had one installed on the front porch months earlier. They’re seated on opposite ends of the swing, Peter’s feet propped between them as they gaze out over the water, each lost in their respective thoughts. 

Peter taps Tony’s arm with his toes after a while, and the man scrunches up his nose in false disgust. 

“The last thing I want on my arm, even lower on the totem pole than Morgan’s boogers, is stinky teenager feet.”

“I will have you know that I clean my feet quite well and quite regularly, my good sir.” Peter falls into a vaguely British accent, accentuating each of the last three words with its own individual toe tap to Tony’s arm. 

“Disgusting. I’m tainted.” Tony rests his arm over the back of the swing. “So, I hear you and Pepper had a little late night stroll to the dock.”

“She told you?”

“FRIDAY did. She’s a bit of a tattletale.”

“She really is.”

“Woke me up and everything, and I was finally getting a good night’s sleep.”

Peter feels heat rise to his cheeks. “Sorry. Uh, and sorry you haven’t been sleeping well.”

Tony shrugs. “It happens. Especially when I go from being in the city, as we were in Bangladesh, to being back out here in the quiet. Hard to adjust sometimes. To relax fully.”

“Yeah.” Peter stares resolutely out at the lake.

“So, what were you and my wife chatting about at such an hour?”

“Just…business?”

“So you got up and took Pepper out to the dock to ask her about her business call?”

“Not exactly. I mean, it came up, but…I was out there first.”

“Oh, really? So she came out as a recon. mission, then?”

“I guess so.”

“Why were you out there in the middle of the night, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“….I couldn’t sleep.”

“Yeah? Why not?”

Peter inhales through his nose. “Not sure. But it’s not a big deal.”

“If you say so.” 

Peter looks through the corners of his eyes and finds Tony studying him before the man decides to stand, stretching and popping his back as he does so. 

“Care for a walk around the lake?”

-

Peter collapses onto the couch when they return, staring through the windows to the side porch and watching Tony and Pepper prepare dinner together on the outside grill. 

Morgan is hunched over at his feet, scribbling furiously in her current favorite coloring book. 

“Whatchya doodling, Moomoo?”

“A cat.” Morgan holds up a good-sized image of what is now an orange tabby.

“Looks good.”

“Thanks.” The little one goes back to her coloring, more quietly this time, and Peter settles back against the arm of the couch. He stares at the ceiling, willing himself to relax if it means he can even get a nap in before dinner, but his body just won’t have it. He can hear his heartbeat. Morgan’s heartbeat. Every mechanical and electrical noise in the house goes in and out of focus as he just lays there, trying not to show his frustration and upset Morgan.

“Hey, Pete.” Tony pokes his head in and nearly makes the teen jump. “Can you grab the meat out of the fridge?”

“Yeah.” Peter sits up slowly and stands, feeling Tony’s eyes on him as he crosses to the kitchen. “Sh-oot.” Peter catches himself just in time after his toe has a gnarly collision with a dining table leg. “Missed that somehow…” He grumbles as he pulls the food out of the freezer and brings it back to Tony. Peter just catches the man’s critical gaze before it snaps into easy speculation.

“Thanks, bud.” Tony claps a hand on Peter’s shoulder, and they go out together, Peter’s hopes of relief forgotten as the afternoon melts into evening.

-

It’s the same old story, and one he is so tired of re-living.

Peter full on glares at the ceiling as his heart pounds in his chest, refusing to slow down no matter how he tries to force out slow, even breaths. He clenches his eyes shut but the frustrated tears have already bloomed there and spilled over his cheeks, drawing twin lines down over his temples and pooling on his pillow. He swipes a hand over his face and sniffs hard, rolling onto his side to glare at the clock now. 

3:33am.  

The witching hour. Or at least that’s what MJ calls it. It definitely feels like he’s being hexed right now as his eyes seem to remain open of their own accord, in spite of all of his efforts to get them to comply with the exhaustion in his limbs, his bones. 

“Why the hell can’t I sleep?” He mouths silently at the glowing numbers, the frustration spilling over again, but he doesn’t bother to wipe them away this time. He doesn’t cry all that often, really, not when he’s mad, at least, but night after night of not sleeping enough, especially after exerting himself so much, has worn him thin, and crying is all he can do to keep from screaming, stomping, hurling and throwing things. He’s past the point of being upset with his insomnia and reached the point of searing anger, at himself for not being able to overcome this obstacle and whatever power has placed this plague on him. He grits his teeth until his jaw aches, and he nearly cracks a tooth when an owl sees fit to chime in on his thoughts from outside his window.

Peter pushes himself up and gazes toward his window, the scene from last night playing through his mind in a strange 3rd person point-of-view, as if he is FRIDAY watching him from the house instead of himself experiencing it. Something Pepper said pokes at his consciousness, and he frowns.

You know…he would do whatever he needs to help. All you have to do is ask.

All you have to do is ask. 

Peter stares intently at the window for a moment, contemplating before he finally sighs deeply and throws his covers off. As much as he hates to put anything else on the man’s plate, Peter knows that Tony will understand his plight; plus, he’s been eyeing Peter ever since he arrived, so the teen figures it’s more merciful to put the man out of his miserable curiosity.

Peter stops outside of Tony and Pepper’s door, listening for a moment and frowning when he only hears one person breathing and snoring softly. Definitely not Tony. He quietly pads to Morgan’s door and listens, only hearing the even lighter breathing of the little girl, and his brows crease. 

Peter heads toward the stairs and picks up the faint light shining from downstairs; he quietly mounts them and steps down to the ground floor, absorbing Tony sitting on the couch with a book in one hand, a cup of tea in the other. It’s so domestic that it brings the tears back to Peter’s eyes, the idea of Tony finally being this relaxed and at home somewhere pulling at something deep in Peter’s core. 

“I was wondering when you’d show up.”

Tony’s voice startles Peter, the silence Peter hadn’t realized he’d settled in to shattered, and now the air holds an expectation of being filled with vibrating waves that Peter isn’t sure he’s ready to relinquish. The idea of finally confiding in Tony had seemed palpable when he was upstairs, alone and breaking anyway, but now that he’s here and sees Tony, thinks back to everything he’s been through, Peter suddenly feels selfish and silly.

“Quit overthinking. Come sit with me.” 

Peter’s gaze snaps from the window to which it’s wandered and back to his mentor. Tony has put down the book and tea by now and is watching him intently but not oppressively; there’s no scrutiny in his eyes or demand in his body language, just an open invitation.

Peter crosses the room stiffly and sits beside Tony, staring ahead and body refusing to relax right away. 

“Geez, you’re wound up tight. Come here.” Tony beckons Peter toward him, and the teen stares. 

“What?”

“I’m gonna rub your shoulders, kid. Don’t make it weird.” Tony rolls his eyes. “Unless you’re genuinely uncomfortable with it, then I won’t.”

“No, it’s okay….I’m just….getting used to it.”

“To what?”

“To you being all…”

“Domestic?”

“Exactly.”

Tony snorts.

“That’s like, the one benefit of disappearing for five years.”

Tony clenches his jaw, and Peter sighs through his nose. It’s always too soon for Tony.

“Sorry…I just mean…You had a kid while I was gone. You got all paternal and stuff, and now I get to reap the benefits of that, I guess.”

“Yeah, we’re definitely more touchy feely than before, huh?”

“I just figured that was because you missed me.” Peter smiles a bit, mischief tugging at the corners of his lips. 

“I did, kid. So much.”

Peter’s smile falls to neutrality. “I know. I….I guess I missed you, too. I don’t remember much.”

“Hopefully we’ll keep it that way.” Tony mumbles. “So, shoulder rub?”

Peter considers for a moment. “Sure, why not.” He scoots closer to Tony, and the man’s warm hand on his tense neck and shoulder muscles immediately help him relax just a fraction.

“Geez, kid; you been working out these muscle groups or have you been that tense over finals?” 

Peter blinks. “You know, now that you mention it, I guess I have been pretty tense over the last couple of weeks.”

“Yeah? You think that’s causing your sleeping problems?”

“How did you know about that?”

“This is the second night in a row that you’re awake with a Stark parent in the dead of night in one of the safest places in the world. Call it a hunch.” 

Peter lets out an involuntary snort. “Yeah…It’s been a solid two weeks since I got a good night of sleep.”

“Two Fridays ago?”

“Yeah.”

“Why? Did you procrastinate? Too many Spidey hours?”

“No, no, I was ready just…nervous I guess. Not sure why. I guess because I had a lot of tough academic classes this semester. There’s just kind of an air of tension, you know? Even if I feel okay, if everyone else is stressed out, I just kind of pick up on that. I guess it’s my senses.”

“That makes sense.”

“And sometimes I tend to just….hang on to that tension even after the school year is over, you know? After I took my first AP Exam, I had three separate dreams that I was taking the exam over again. It’s like a high that I can’t come down from or something.”

“Mmm.” Tony hums his attention while giving special care to a particularly tough knot near the base of Peter’s neck. “Geez, kid, we really have to work on your posture. No more studying in bed.”

“Oh, yeah, May told me not to do that.”

“Wait, did you actually study in bed?”

“…..Yeah.”

“Pete. Kid. You’re too smart for this. Seriously, you should only sleep in your bed. Anything else encourages you to be awake in that space.”

“When did you become an expert on this stuff?”

“When I became a workaholic and was doing work in the comfort of my bed that I couldn’t ever sleep in because my mind was always buzzing with work to be done.”

“Oh….ah!” Peter flinches as Tony pushes his metal thumb against the aforementioned knot. 

“Sorry, bud. This one’s a booger.”

Peter squirms uncomfortably as Tony presses on the tough spot in his back, sucking in a harsh breath when the man ups the pressure but sagging in relief when he eases off. 

“Anything else bothering you?” Tony prompts quietly as he places his flesh hand over the base of Peter’s neck to massage the top of his spine. 

Peter nearly groans as Tony works at the new spot of tension he’s found. “….No, not really.”

“You hesitated.”

“So?” There’s more discomfort than bite in Peter’s tone.

“You’re not exactly one to choose your words carefully, Pete.” Tony’s lowers his voice and evens out his tone as much as he can. “You speed through every conversation like that ugly blue hedgehog thing.”

“Sonic.”

“Sure,” Tony shrugs. “But we were talking about you hesitating.”

“You were, really.” 

“Sure, I was, but it really is one of your tells for when you’re not being totally honest with me.”

“Since when do you pay so much attention to me?” Peter’s nostrils flare just a bit after the fact.

“Ooo so that’s it, then? Feeling neglected by your mentor-slash-idol?” Tony has laced jest into his tone to compensate for the pinched brows Peter cannot see. He knows Peter looks up to him as a father figure, especially considering all they’ve been through together, and icy guilt stabs through him as he thinks of Peter missing him and longing for his re-assurance in these last days of the semester. “You know I’m always a video call away, buddy.”

“I know….” Peter winces, and Tony apologizes quietly. “…but you’re busy.”

“I’m retired, kid. Not a superhero anymore, remember? And Pepper and her people run Stark Industries.”

“You were just in Wakanda for two weeks.”

“That was…a friendly visit, we’ll call it.” Tony pats Peter’s back lightly and reclines against the couch cushions. “That’s all I can do for now, kiddo. Hand’s too tired.”

“Thanks.” Peter rolls his shoulders and settles back, too, distanced from Tony at the other end of the couch. 

“Seriously, though.” Tony levels Peter with a gaze, and the teen can’t look away. “Anything you need, any time, Peter. I’m here for you. I didn’t invent time travel to get you back and pawn you off on May again.” 

Peter nods, his face unreadable as he continues to stare at Tony like an animal deciding if he’s trustworthy or not.

“C’mere, squirt.” Tony holds out an arm and blinks when Peter hesitates before crawling into his partial embrace. The man sighs and leans his head back, tracing the barely visible grooves in the wood paneled ceiling. “Do you remember the last time we sat like this?”

“Yesterday?”

“Yes, smartass, but I was thinking more about the hour. The last time we were both up at 3am.”

Peter considers for a moment, following Tony’s gaze before realization seems to strike him; his eyes widen a fraction before falling to the coffee table. 

“Oh, yeah.” 

Tony squeezes Peter’s shoulder.

“We didn’t do a lot this year. We were both too busy on the day of to go to his grave.”

“Does that bother you?”

“A little…but it’s not like he knows. And…I don’t know if we really wanted to this year, you know? With everything that’s happened, death is just such a weird thing to think about right now.”

“That makes sense.”

Peter’s breath catches just a bit. “She gave some of his stuff away the other day. She asked me to help her carry it out to her car, and she didn’t even…acknowledge it or whatever.”

Tony is quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry, buddy.”

Peter is lost in thought for a few moments. “Well, I think so, anyway. She had donation boxes, and they were taped up, but the side was marked, ‘Ben’s Clothes’ and ‘Wedding Pictures.’ I never saw inside, so I don’t know for sure. And like I said, she didn’t say anything, which is weird for her, honestly, so maybe she was just using the boxes.”

“You could ask her.”

“I don’t think so. That would probably upset her…Besides, I doubt she actually did get rid of them, but something about loading all of that stuff into her car just…it felt like the day I first came to them, or when we moved after the blip. So much transition, and the thought of transitioning past Ben on top of how much I haven’t been sleeping was just…”

“The straw that broke the camel’s back.”

“Exactly.” Peter’s voice is thin and quiet, wispy like a passing breeze, strained like a taut muscle, and weighted with meaning like a fierce whisper. 

Tony is rubbing his hand over Peter’s shoulder and pretends not to notice when Peter rubs his hand over his eyes. He does notice the second time, though, and laughs a bit when Peter lets out a loud yawn. “You sleepy now?”

“Yeah. I could sleep for days.”

“Do that. I’ll keep Momo occupied tomorrow-” Tony snorts. “Today. Sleep as long as you need to.” 

“Thanks, Tony.” Peter smiles tiredly and leans his head against Tony’s shoulder; he stares blankly at the fireplace until his eyelids begin to droop. 

“Oh, no. I can’t sleep here tonight; my back is too bad for that.” Tony roughly rubs Peter’s shoulder before shifting to get up. 

Peter grunts and pouts, slouching into the couch. 

“You can’t, either. Morgan won’t let you sleep if you’re down here.”

“True…” Peter rises with him.

“Hey, if this sleepless stuff persists, I’ll get some of the stuff we gave Steve when he was fighting insomnia after-….some stuff happened.”

“Yeah, okay. Thank you.”

“No problem at all, bud.”

They climb the stairs in silence, pad down the hall and turn to face each other when they reach their respective doors.

“Night, Pete.” Tony whispers, hand on his doorknob.

“Night, Tony.” Peter lingers for just a moment as Tony goes into his room. 

The man turns to close his door but stops when he catches Peter still waiting. His brows crease, and he moves to come back out, but Peter shakes his head and looks at the floor shyly, before waving for Tony to go. Tony considers Peter for a moment, squinting at the kid before he sighs silently and nods, closing the door all the way. 

Peter sighs and goes into his own room, closing the door silently behind him before he crawls into bed and falls into a dead sleep until that afternoon.  

(Tony only slightly regrets promising to entertain Morgan on 4 hours of sleep.) 

[storiesfromtheeye]

Habit

I’ve always had a habit of cracking my knuckles. Well, not always. When I was younger, I wasn’t able to do it at all. In fact the most impressive I could do was the occasional snap of my toes when I scrunched them up in the early morning. But as I grew older, I watched the people around me more and more. I was young, just starting high school. Of course I wanted to fit in. So I would try. At first all that happened was a rather unimpressive pop from one finger on my left hand. But as the days stretched longer and longer, I found I had built up quite a habit. Now I struggle to make it through a day where I don’t hear the satisfying crack. I can do it with one hand. One finger pushing on another. I think I saw it in a movie or tv-show once.

I was used to accidentally cracking my knuckles too loud. Once in the middle on an exam, the entire row turned to look at me. It’s ironic really; the thing that I learned to fit in had made me stand out even more. Not that I minded too much, I loved things that I could talk about. I could make a story from any little inconvenience. I think that if I had better social skills and charisma, I might have pursued quite a successful career in stand up comedy. But that was not the case. No, instead all I had were funny little tales to tell my friends and an annoying childhood habit to carry with me.

It was on one such occasion that it happened. It was a summer night, still air that hung thick with warm damp, promising rain to come. I never slept well on those nights. I always felt like I was on holiday, the first night in a new country. The pillow would feel too soft or too high and the mattress would make your shoulders stiff by the next morning, giving little chance of a restful night. They would always be what I would blame for the bags under my eyes or my sour attitude once the sun had risen. But that was only because I knew those issues could be fixed. The worst thing was, and always would be in my mind, the heavy humid air. Night air is not supposed to be warm. Night air should not hang but be blown by the wind, cutting through the people on the streets below and letting central heating and large blankets protect those inside. But at least on holiday, you could find a fan of sorts close by. And when that was running, you could feel the tip of your nose turn to ice and then bundle up in your covers as it should be. And at least on holiday, that kind of weather isn’t unusual.

You see, unusually warm or cold weather does something to houses, or at least houses like mine. It causes them to shift slightly. To the point where stairways will creak with nothing on them, and window frames will crack like a bullwhip; startling you from sleep. An old house settling is normal, but the dark and alien feeling of the night air on your skin sends your mind into havoc. Each sound is a killer, every stray movement in the corner of your vision is a spirit. And each time you slip off, on the cusp of dreaming, your mind convinces you that those strange black figures in your mind’s eye are right behind you. I hated it.

So I was up late, using a thin hardback book as a fan, while I scrolled mindlessly through some social media site or other. My body was so tired. I could feel my muscles, aching from the run I had been on earlier in the day. My eyes were half open and I had convinced myself that if I closed one eye at a time they would stop feeling like lead. I wanted nothing more than the climb under my bedsheet and drift off to sleep. But something stopped me. Perhaps it was the beginning of the Insomnia I was diagnosed with a few months after this. Perhaps it was something else. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I was awake and mindlessly, as I so often did then, cracked three fingers on my right hand in quick succession. I thought nothing of it until I heard the accompanying crack of the windows in the house settling. I didn’t think of it as being an echo of my own actions. I think I more saw it as expected. I had allowed for noise to exist so late into the night when usually there would be nothing. It made me jump, slightly. And I was very aware of the fact that if there was anyone awake in the house, they would know I was awake too.

It was a strange, unbidden thought. And I dismissed it out of hand. I was always paranoid at night. There was a certain danger to being awake too late. As a child that danger had been my parents. I had been caught once or twice reading well past midnight and it hadn’t taken long for me to learn that it was far better to finish the chapter tomorrow than to risk leaving the light on and being found out. I suppose that stuck with me into young adulthood. Maybe pop culture helped too. Bad things always seem to happen after midnight. They were right. At least in my case.

I was really struggling to stay awake now. Deciding it was time to hit the hay, I stretched myself out from the crouched position I had been in. I felt a few small pop’s in my lower back. And then, almost immediately after, I heard the sound of the walls in the house settling. The wood creaking a crude imitation of me. Though strangely, the sound seemed much further off than it should have. That was enough to make me keep the light on, regardless of the electricity bill I was trying so hard to stay on top of. It was hard to sleep in the harsh yellow light, but at least I felt safe. As I fell into unconsciousness, I could convince myself it was daytime and that I was dozing off peacefully under the midday sun.

When I woke up, it was early morning. Not too early, maybe 5am or so. There was knocking on my door, harsh and abrupt. The kind that expects an answer. So I pulled myself out of bed and opened it. A police officer stood there. He looked much too serious for the time of morning and if he was shocked or embarrassed by seeing a woman in boxers and a sheer T-shirt open the door, he didn’t show it.

“Sorry to wake you, miss” he said. “There’s been an incident last night. We was wondering if you’d seen anything.”

I grumbled out some half coherent sentences saying I “hadn’t heard anything“ and “did he know what time it was?” and that this was a “very nice neighbourhood so what could really be so bad?”

Apparently when I had been busy trying not to pass out at my computer, two young women had been attacked when walking home from a night out. Apparently they had been at a friend’s house and decided to leave around 2am. When they were making their way home someone had followed. That someone had smashed the fingers of the first girl and then pushed the second where she had fractured her spine. I saw the photos online later. And I remember thinking how strange it was that the police had determined the attacker had used a hammer. Because the bones of the first girl had been broken completely, but there was no bruising at all on the skin. It was a healthy, fresh pink with no visible wounds at all. Even the skin stretched over the bone that had impaled the middle of her hand seemed healthy.

That had been...unnerving. They never caught the guy. My mum had called to tell me, very sternly, that I was to take a taxi home whenever I was out too late, no matter how drunk I felt. And that was really the extent to which it affected my life. It seems cruel to say but I never thought about those girls except when they were brought up in conversation. Then I would get to tell my story of being woken up by a burly policeman and questioned. It was fun, to insert yourself into a narrative. Even if you did somewhat belong. But the character of bystander always needs some embellishing. And my friends all knew that.

Then, before I knew it, it was another humid night. And I was up late again. It had been a sunny few days but that day had been the first warm one. Very warm in fact. I remember thinking it was perfect weather for a summer gala. It was much the same as last time. I was lost in my thoughts scrolling through some blog and then absentmindedly cracked my shoulders. Well maybe not absentmindedly...It was like an itch. Something that begged you to pay attention, something you couldn’t ignore. So I didn’t. I had no reason too.

This time I heard the scream outside my bedroom window. My first reaction seems silly in retrospect. I hid. Under the covers. I pulled them tight around me and held still, waiting for something to happen. I was scared of course. A man was screaming right outside of my home, and it was a bloodcurdling scream. I’ve never heard anything like it. I don’t want to hear anything like it again. And what if some crazed lunatic had done something to him? What if it was the same man that had attacked the girls. What if...he saw me look out of the window and came for me.

My mind has trouble at times from distinguishing the possible from the impossible. Or at least the very improbable. Even so, after a long few minutes, the screaming hadn’t stopped. I told myself I had to look. Because if this man was suffering, I had to know so I could call an ambulance. Or perhaps the police.

I don’t know what I expected when I pulled back the curtain. I think I at least expected blood. There wasn’t any. What there was, at first glance, was a normal man lying on the pavement. He looked a bit pale but that might have just been the moonlight. I was ready to lean out the window and tell him to shut up. I was so tired and he was so loud and fearful and quite honestly I did not want to hear some crazy man scream for no good reason. It’s as I opened the window and leaned forward that I saw what was wrong. And it was very wrong.

His shoulder seemed to be cut in half. And not a clean half. There were jagged pierced of what I could only assume were bone jutting out of the skin at strange angles. It seemed as though his arm had been grabbed and then pushed upwards while the rest of his body had remained completely still, some of the bone going through his shoulder, stretching his skin to below his ear. The rest had been forced through his collarbone, creating a terrifying picture of skin was stretched impossibly across a mosaic of shattered bone. No fall could’ve done this. This was deliberate. Some psycho must have came at this poor man with a shovel or a sledgehammer or something. And then left him to die, to bleed out on the streets.

And then I remembered. The horror had taken me away from my first observation. I was so sure this man’s injuries would kill him. There was no blood anywhere. No wounds. Just the awful contortion of his upper body. It didn’t seem possible.

It was there, leaning out through my bedroom window, that I felt it. An itching. It started at the middle of my shoulder blades and crawled up further, becoming more insistent. I don’t know why I tried to ignore it. I had no reason to believe anything bad could happen from cracking my back.Maybe it was the shock from what I was seeing. I couldn’t indulge in a stupid habit when there was a man below me who so clearly should be dead. Instead I let it travel up further and further until it surrounded my neck. And stopped.

I gasped. I must have been quiet before, observing in shocked silence. It was the first noise I had made. The man look up at me. The action looked painful and he had not stopped screaming, though it had gotten quieter. Perhaps he was losing his voice. It was as he looked up at me that I felt the itch grow stronger. I needed to crack my neck. I needed to in the way that you need to breathe. No matter how long you hold your breath, it’s an eventuality that at some point, you have to breathe. The feeling gripped me, and I suddenly had a terrible, terrible feeling about this.

I stared back at the man who had gone quiet. His eyes were filled with undiluted fear. I watched those eyes follow my shaking arm as it gripped the side of my head firmly. And pulled.

There was a stunningly loud crack. One I hadn’t expected. It echoed around the room. My gaze hadn’t left the man who was lying there. It never left. Not even as the bones in his neck popped out of place and shattered. One by one. Even as the pieces drove themselves into his spinal cord and blood vessels and windpipe. He was breathing faster and faster, sucking those hard little fragments into his lungs where they tore away at his insides. I did not move as he spluttered dark red and made a sound no human should be able to make with their voice box intact. Looking back, I don’t think it was.

He collapsed in a heap, half on the road, blood leaking from his mouth and nose. And still I could not turn away. Because his neck was still convulsing. I could still see the bones shift and push through muscle, stretching the skin. And then finally, after what might have been hours, it stopped. And I could be sure he was dead.

The ambulance arrived after a woman on a jog had found him, or so the police told me. I told them I hadn’t been awake. I had no idea what had happened. They said other neighbours had been woken up by the screams, why wasn’t I? I told them how heavy a sleeper I was, and a classic family story of how my mother had slept through an actual hurricane. They exchanged looks. As if they were not in the mood to listen to a chatterbox at 6am on a Sunday morning.

They let me go. Of course they did. There was no evidence to convict me. Still, I laid in my bed for days afterwards. Fighting the urge to cry or scream. Constantly fighting the urge to crack my aching back.

I know better now. I know that if I keep busy, I can keep my mind off the itching. I moved as well. To a small run down cottage in the country. Very far away from anyone else. I have to leave an hour before my work to get there on time now, but that’s okay. I think this thing has a radius of sorts. The closest person is affected. But if there is no-one close, I don’t think it does anything.

That’s not to say there haven’t been accidents. People out walking on horribly warm summer nights. How am I to know they’re there until it’s much too late? People tend to avoid coming close anyway. The stories of mangled dog walkers are enough to keep the young kids away. The pictures do the trick for everyone else.

I am trying to stop. I don’t crack my knuckles much anymore. I don’t crack anything much. It’s only when that insatiable need crawls across my skin that I do. I have to leave work sometimes and drive home just to crack a few fingers. Once or twice I haven’t made it that far. I have learned to keep a looser grip on the steering wheel now. So it can’t be said that I’m not trying. But even now, my whole body itches and shudders and I can’t help but hear the soothing pop of joints as they ease up again. And it is so very soothing. As I said, it’s a habit. And a habit is a very hard thing to break.

[foughtdragonswithyou]

WHEN I WAS 4, I remember waking up on Christmas day to the Taylor Swift album, little did I or anybody else know how this would impact the rest of my life.

WHEN I WAS 5, I remember getting Fearless and ALWAYS jamming out to it on my way to school with my mum. I remember the first time I heard The Best Day and I LOVED IT!!!

WHEN I WAS 7, I remember Speak Now arriving at my house after pre-ordering it. Looking back, I can now see how that album has changed my life. It taught me that people are going to be mean, it taught me that something's are done better independently, it taught me that I can be whoever I want to be.

WHEN I WAS 8, I remember going to the Speak Now world tour. I was on the front row yet I was too small to reach for Taylors hand. I remember my brother and mum getting a high five but I also remember the security guard going to find someone in Taylor's family (probably Scott) and he came back with a guitar pick for me, which I will cherish forever.

WHEN I WAS 9, I remember waking up and being shocked because I had received RED a day early as I had pre-ordered it but it was released on a Sunday which meant that it would be posted a day early. I remember driving through local villages jamming out in the car with my mum just so we could listen to it.

WHEN I WAS 10, I remember getting tucked up in bed and not being able to go to the RED tour as it was a school night, and the only tour date in the UK was in London, and my mum was a teacher. It was the first time I had really been upset.

WHEN I WAS 11, I remember jamming out to Shake It Off at my grandparents house in France and remember me and my brother dancing around the houses. I then started high school and I felt like my life was falling apart, my best friend for 7 years left me for a new group of friends and the new "popular" friend group that I joined turned out to be a group of bullies but I didn't know that yet. However, when 1989 was released I remember listening to it when I was walking to and from school, when I would sit alone and when I felt like I had someone to dance with around my bedroom. I remember the presale for the tour like it was yesterday, it was on Bonfire Night and the code was sent to spam mail and all of the tickets were gone in a flash. I remember crying all night. The next day, my, amazing, mum tried again and I remember being in the bathroom after a violin lesson at school and I checked my Nokia, mum had got tickets and I cried so much, I was SO happy.

WHEN I WAS 12, I went to the 1989 World Tour Manchester with my mum and brother on my Grandad's birthday. We went to wagamama and then watched the incredible show. When Welcome To New York started playing, I was sobbing, I was so thankful to be there and hugged my mum as tight as I could. I remember thinking that I had my family and Taylor and that was really all that mattered.

WHEN I WAS 14, I remember a snake showing up on Taylor's Instagram and I was shook. I remember the LWYMMD lyric video getting released at 5am and to be honest, I was scared, I watched it for the rest of the day and made my whole family watch it 13,000,000 times and by the end of the day I was screaming it at the top of my lungs. I was in a hotel room with my mum and brother, which we resorted in going to after our plane to France was cancelled, and the LWYMMD official video came out and I LOVED it, it explained Taylor's life for the last few years so well. The night before the album was released, my mum got an email saying that our order was cancelled. She had a meeting on release day in Liverpool so she trekked to the other side of Liverpool to pick a copy up for me. She then picked me up from school and I remember hugging her endlessly and listening to it on the way home from school. I still had bitter friends, but Reputation taught me that I didn't need them anymore. I stopped hagging round with them and I found some new friends, I still didn't get invited to anything but I felt better. I remember being at the bus stop, waiting for my bus to school, when I SCREAMED at the top of my lungs that you were coming to Manchester and I'm pretty sure I woke up the whole neighborhood. I called my mum and we were so excited. I woke up on Christmas day to two tickets to The Reputation Stadium Tour.

WHEN I WAS 15, I was counting down the days to tour and was so excited. The day before, our section of seats had been moved and I ended up sitting one section away from the front. IT WAS THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE. During CIWYW, I saw Andrea, I ran up to her and she gave me a hug that I had waited for for years and it was the tightest, most lovely thing ever, it was the closest I had ever been to Taylor and I thanked her for everything. I remember the lead up to April 26 and it felt so magical. I stayed up all night, and morning (even though I had a 5 hour art exam in the morning) and remember ME! being released, it felt like the best birthday present ever, as my birthday was the next day. I remember my brother putting it on his Instagram story, telling everyone to stream it and I was thinking, yes, he's doing his duty.

NOW I'M 16, on my birthday me and my mum drove to Manchester to meet up with my aunties for the Take That concert and for an hour and a half we listened to 100% Taylor Swift, which included ME! about ten times. The day Lover was released was the most magical day ever, I loved the album so much and I cried all day, whilst I ate Lover inspired biscuits and cupcakes. That was the day that I decide that I was going to start completely new in sixth form with new friends. I have done so, and it's the happiest I've been. Now, I'm counting down the last few days until I get to see you at JBB and am anxiously waiting to see if I get tickets tomorrow to Hyde Park.

Taylor, thank you. Thank you for being there when I had no friends. Thank you for the music that you make. Thank you for teaching me so much. Thank you so much for everything @taylorswift, I love you xxx

@taylornation

[burnt-tomato]

Something I found in my drafts that I might finish in the future but for now I'll show what I've done

I think it was about Fem!reader x Daichi and the storyline are real or actually happened plus the part that you'd suddenly break (except the part where I'm studying in Karasuno obviously and the grade year and the relationship with Daichi lol)

This was made a year and a half ago, but I didn't bother to finish it lmao

Initial Title: "I'm always here for you, so don't hesitate to show me a side no one's ever seen of you"

This is mostly just fluff since I'm not used to angst yet lol

Theme: Fem!reader × Daichi Sawamura; s/o's father died and she tried her best to hide her emotions and remain strong, but one time breaks down and Daichi comforts his s/o

As usual, you spent the entire afternoon in your room, staring at your phone. This phone that he once held that's now yours.

Everyone saw you as this tough and independent girl. To them, you were really cool, physically and emotionally strong, talented and smart, so they expected alot from you. It has always been hard to live up to people's expectations, but you didn't mind and kept doing what you usually do. You hung out with your school's boys volleyball club, mostly with the third years, but you spent the most time with Karasuno's captain, Sawamura Daichi. Rumors has it that you two are even dating, which isn't just a rumor, but you didn't want anyone to know because they saw you as someone who wouldn't put romance on top of studying. So after their team practices, he would walk you home because of how late it is.

- _ - _ - _ - _ - _ - _ - _ - _ - _ - _ - _ - _ -

Everything was way too sudden. It was the 13th of November, you woke up at a normal daw early in the morning at 5AM. You were on the first year of your high school. You get down to the living room, then greeted by your two parents that are both getting ready to leave for work. You eat breakfast with them, after they kiss you on the forehead and leave, while you go and take a bath and get ready for school. You arrive at your school, greeted by your classmates and friends, classes dragged on like forever, and your head fell face first on your desk, and before you know it you fell asleep. Your friends wake you up when classes ended, then you rush to the volleyball team's gym to meet with the club. After the club finishes practice, you get home, and unusually, some of your relatives were at your home. They all happily greeted you and led you inside, but why are they here? It's not like there's anything special that happened except tomorrow is your mother's birthday, but your relatives don't usually come at birthdays.

"Ah y/n, you should remove your uniform now, you must be exhausted! Here, I'll carry your bag inside" your cousin said.

You still didn't know what was going on. When you changed your clothes, you tried asking your older cousin why they were all here.

"Y/n! Uhh... hey you should do your homework already. Your mom told me to pack some of your outside clothes"

"But why? I mean, I know tomorrow is my mom's birthday, but why pack clothes?"

"Mmm... I'm not sure either" she smiled and chuckled a little after.

Everything seemed normal enough you guessed. Until your mother got home.

(I won't really elaborate this part, but this is when mom got home and told us what happened.)

.

.

This couldn't be real. This is way too sudden. He didn't show any signs of pain or fatigue, so how could this happen out of the blue... these thoughts flooded your head. Your entire family started to cry, except you. You sat there, frozen, trying to process what they said and tried to think the best way to react.

After the funeral, you decided to attend school already so you could catch up with what you missed. When you arrived, all of your classmates and teachers offered condolences, which honestly you didn't really want right now... Even if it's been 4 days already, you tried to act normally and didn't think much about it. This went on for 2 to 3 hours, trying really hard to keep your emotions intact and your head clear.

.

2 years later...

.

You and Daichi have been dating for 2 years since your first year of highschool. Both of you tried your best to keep your relationship a secret so that you could both have private moments together that even the team doesn't know (even if there was one time Suga almost found out), just cuddling (because both of you are too awkward to kiss, so both of you haven't had they firsts yet lmao). Both of you, due to your awkwardness, just cuddle when together, both of you are also really reliable and always there for each other. So one day you asked Daichi if he wanted to have a study date (if that's what it's called). He agreed and you both walked home together to your house. Both of you studied really hard for the upcoming exams and since both of you are smart, you'll probably be fine.

Daichi stood up and stretched his arms upwards.

"Hey y/n, I'm going to get a glass of water, do you want anything?"

"Ah, no." You answered immediately.

He bent down to wrap his arms around you and kissed you gently on your forehead, and walked out. You turned on your phone to look at the time and..

Unread Messages:

Mom: Hi y/n I might be home late again, so you and your friend can help yourself if you get hungry. Love you and goodnight. Sent 10:15 PM

Of course. They always come home late. But either way, even if they say that they'll be home late, you always stay up so that you get see them when they get home. Mom and dad...

Dad...

Dad....

Your hands trembled. You took a look at your phone and stared at it intensely, then you dropped it. You backed away slowly, keeping your eyes on your phone. Your head was filled with thoughts that you had a hard time sorting out, and you couldn't process how you should react or what your emotion should be.

I... how could I forget? Whatever I do, however times I pray or wish, whatever happens... he'll never come back. What happened has happened. It's been a year and a half, I did my best to hold myself in... i didnt even cry that much when they told me... why am I just reacting like this now??? No... y/n... hold it in... hold it in... get a hold of yourself... hold it in... hold it in... hold it i-

"Hey y/n! I'm bac-!"

Shit... it's too late... why... why of all people... why Daichi.... why now.. why infront of him...??? Shit I can't hold it in....

Before you knew it, tears were rolling down your cheeks. You tried to stop them but something kept them going.

"Y/N!! Are you okay??? What's wrong??? Y-y/n!!! How can I help???" He tried to ask you properly and tried to calm you down, but he was in a panic because it was the first time that you cried. It was unexpected of course. The y/n that was really tough, crying.

He rushed to your side and flew his arms around you and pulled your head on his chest. You kept on crying, and you couldn't stop. You've been holding it in for so long, and right now is the time when all of the pain building up has come out. He tried and tried to tell you that everything would be fine and that he was there for you. He also tried asking what was wrong, but your mind was too foggy and your throat hurts from crying so loudly.

Finally you managed to settle down and tried your best to tell him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cry so suddenly."

"Don't EVER apologize because you cried." He said.

You explained to him about your father's death and how you've been hiding your pain. You told him how you hid everything you felt to keep your reputation and to not disappoint those who looked up to you. You didn't want anyone to see this side of you.

"Y/n... why did you hide all of this? For your reputation? To not disappoint anyone? Crying is normal for everyone. Crying doesn't mean you're weak, it means you're strong. You didn't have to suffer all through this pain. You could've opened up to me!"

"B-but... don t I look pathetic this way...?"

"Y/n... any side of you I will accept. I love you the way you are. I love you whatever happens. I love you and will always love you y/n. And please remember that for the rest of our lives..."He said softly.

He looked into your eyes. You stared back at him while he wiped your tears away, and kissed your forehead.

"Sorry... I'm sorry about not telling you this..."

"Y/n... You don't have to apologize, alright? I'll always be here for you and with you. I'm always here for you, so don't hesitate to show me a side no one's seen of you."

Starting that night, you both swore to be there for each other, to love each other no matter what, to never leave each other's side. Starting that night, you never once more hesitated to tell him your problems. Even if people saw you as really strong and tough, you didn't mind being weak and vulnerable around Daichi. You were happy. He reminded you so much of your father, reliable, helpful, caring, and really loving.

"I love you too, Daichi"

Lmao what is this garbage. I feel like it's finished but it has holes in the middle so I think that's what's missing here. The story isn't well written out lol. It's just a draft that I didn't bother to come back to lol. Sorry if it's bad a a a a a a a. Also to clarify, the reason y/n backed away from her phone was because her phone now used to be her father's phone (this is true)

[cyrinepamalandong]

My 2019 in Review: The Triumphs, The Obstacles and The Lesson

January, it is the first month of the year but it seems like it is in the middle of the year. It was one of the hardest month of the year for me because of the problems that we faced together with my family. Even though we are facing a huge obstacles it is not a hindrance to stop our dreams and goals in life instead we make it as the reason why we are keep fighting. In this month also, I met those people that I can trust in small and in big things. People that knows how to manage my moods and everything, in this month it proves me that if someone will leave there's someone will come.

On the next month which is the month of February, it was one the month that I can't forget, because we have our family day in this month. I can't call it as family day because I come at school all by myself. It is not new to me because every year I have no parents that is present in every family day, I'm always alone in every family day. And also we celebrate the valentines day at school together with my classmates and schoolmates. We enjoyed the moment because we all know that it will never be happen again next year because we are graduating students next year and we are aware that we can't attend the valentines day celebration next year because instead of having valentines day celebration we will have our prom.

March, it was a very stressful month because we need to complete and pass our projects on time, also, I can't forget the month of March. Our teacher in General Chemistry told us to make an invention that connects to our topics from the first semester to second semester. We are having a hard time to make our group project in General Chemistry, our group is the lucky one because our teacher is always rejecting our project, that was the reason why we didn't take our exam on the scheduled date. While we are doing our project at the lounge area the teachers are calling us because we are needed at the gymnasium for the moving up ceremony of Grade 7,8,9 and 11. After the ceremony, we go back at the lounge area and we continue our project and we passed it to her but of course she rejected it again, we told her that we will pass our project tomorrow and thanks God she agreed. Early in the morning we go back at school and we pass our project and we are so grateful because she accepted it and we took the exam.

April, the month that I will treasure the most, in this month, I visited my school when I was junior highschool. It was the month that I visited the clinic of my doctor at San Pedro. It is also the month that we hang out together with my classmates at the resort in Tacurong. The month of april is very memorable for me because our parents allow us to have some fun with my classmates, we are all happy because we see each other at the resort. We enjoy the moment when we go there because we all know that we can never bring the memories back.

Before 5:00pm, we decided to leave the resort because we are all afraid that some of our classmates will scolded by their parents because it is late at night yet we are still at the resort. We arrived at Esperanza at exactly 6:54 pm, instead of going home at our own houses we decided to spend our night at Gazebo and we will pack our things tomorrow morning. So we checked in at Gazebo and we make it as a memorable night for us, instead of sleeping, we shared a lot of horror stories while eating popcorn, nachos and many more and we didn't notice that it is 4 o'clock in the morning and only five out of nineteen are still awake at that time. 5am in the morning we decided to nap because we also need an energy, and after a couple of hours we decided to go home, that was the memorable one of the year

May, the fifth month of the year, this month, I'm at Davao and I am spending my vacation together with my family. May 10, we packed up our things and we travelled Kauran from Davao. May 11, we attended the birthday of my cousin, and she's very happy that I attended to her birthday. May 15, it was the feast day of our saint, Saint Isidore the farmer. We cheer our basketball team in their championship.

June, the sixth month of the year and the most awaited month of the year because it is the opening of another school year. And of course I woke up early so that I won't be late on the first day of class, im so excited to see my classmates and my friends and share my own experience during my vacation. Of course, In the month of June, we always have an acquaintance party where we can meet a new friends. In this party, we are having fun with my friends, we're enjoying the night like there's no tomorrow, we enjoyed the party so much because we all know that it will never be happen again. That's why we really enjoy the night until the last hour of the program.

July, the seventh month of the year, it was the month of the fruits and vegetables. In this month, we are preparing for Adusay, Zumba and many more, as a member of Adusay, we always spend our time for our practices. We always keep in our mind that it is our last Adusay in this institution. It was so unforgettable because even though we didn't win atleast we know to ourselves that we did our best to win the contest. We did all our best that's why we didn't feel any regrets at last.

August, the eighth month of the year, it is also our last to celebrate our Buwan ng Wika in this institution. As we celebrate Buwan ng wika, we have also a competitions like Sabayang Pagbigkas, Folk Dance, Sabayang Awit and many more. We did our best in every practice, because we don't want to disappoint our teachers who gave their full support to us, who sacrifice just to give what we need and what we want. So when the day of buwan ng comes, we are all ready to perform because we all know that we can make our performance perfect. When the announcement of winners, we can't believe it, because all of our hardships, and sacrifices are worth it.

September, the most unforgettable and memorable month, because we defend ou title as a defending champion during the Notre Dame Day, Battle of the festivals. Before we have our Annual Retreat we take our exams first, after our exams I immediately packed up my things so that I can go to the retreat house together with my classmates. I prepared my things the night before so that it will not be hassle for me because we will go to Digos early in the morning. Our call time is before 5am and we're complete before it turns to 5am in the morning, then we headed our way to our destination. We arrived there at exactly 9:27 am, brother John told us to roam around first and enjoy the rest of our stay at the retreat house. We enjoyed a lot at the retreat house and after 3 days and 2 nights staying at the resort we enjoyed it a lot.

After our last session at the retreat house we immediately proceed to our next venue which is at the White Haven. We have a hard time to get there because of the situation of coaster, at exactly 5:47, we arrived at the White Haven. We swim at the beach, we enjoy it because it will be the last and it will not happen again in the future. We also play a cards like, 1234 pass, tongits, lucky nine, first three, heart attack and many more. At exactly 8am we headed our way to Gensan for our Educational tour. U

October, the tenth month of the year, it is the month of the Holy Rosary ,everyday we used to pray the Holy Rosary in front of the Statue of Mama Mary. And also, in the month October we celebrated the Boy's day and we cheer our contestant. We also screamed because all you can see in the eyes of our contestant which is our classmate is the eagerness to win. But our contestant didn't win but its okay, because we all know that he did his best just to win this kind of competition.

November, this month is the saddest month for me, because this month I always feel alone even though im with my friends and I think this month is a suicidal month for me. Because I tried to kill myself slowly but with the help of my friends I realized that they value and cared for me. I'm always sad because I always missed my grandparents where I used to tell my problems. In this month also, we celebrate our 1st and last feast day, we played a lot of parlor games and we also won that's why we save ourselves by cleaning our classroom. But we also helped the cleaners even though we are not assigned to clean it, but we just wanted to help them in cleaning the room and besides all of us used the room that's why we helped them.

December, this is the last month of the year and it is also an unforgettable one and in this month is our christmas party. I know it is not that enjoyable compared to our feast day but it still make our christmas party memorable. This month also, I spend my christmas vacation with my family and we also have our family gathering and also we have our exchange gifts. And I spend my new year with my whole family and Im hoping that Love will always be present in our family.

[neighbours-kid]

Christ, It‘s December Already?

December is not fully over yet, but since I‘m fucking off to Berlin tomorrow until the end of the year, I decided to wrap up this month now already. You can expect a full round up of 2019 once I‘m back home in the new year, but for now, December.

I want to say December went over even quicker than November did, and I think it actually rings quite true. December began for me with the final day of the candle making event in our church, and then stress. Well—technically. In theory. The practical part of brain didn‘t actually quite catch up with that stress. I was highly aware of the fact that my exams — important ‘I definitely have to pass these’ exams — were coming up and that I should be studying for them. In reality? Yeah, not that much. I wanted to, yes. I tried, also yes. But there isn‘t always a way where there‘s a will. Not always. It did turn out mostly okay though, I think. I know I definitely passed one of them. Haven‘t heard back yet from the others. But we‘ll see. And hope for the best.

But there were also some fun things in this month, not just exam stress and time seemingly running away from me. A dear friend of mine celebrated her birthday early on in the month and that was an incredible blast. Walking home at nearly 5am in pitch black night, the sky clear and scattered with stars was equally as beautiful.

We celebrated Christmas at our annual English Department Christmas Party and that has got to be my highlight of the entire term. It was wonderful. Having my lovely friends there, drinking great booze, eating chili and all kinds of cakes and cookies and whatnot. Being able to let go for a moment even though exams were still coming up the week after? It was just so good. Dancing like there‘s no tomorrow. Singing Christmas carols with our favourite professor. Changing the tune to Irish drinking songs and not-quite sea shanties after we give our all with 12 Days to Christmas? More dancing. Screaming along to Bohemian Rhapsody, knowing that everyone in the room is doing exactly the same. It was a wonderful fucking time. I look forward to this party every single year. Every year. There‘s just something so grounding and pure about it. I can‘t really fully explain it. Guess you‘d have to be there.

Exams and the term finally over, I had my dearest friends over at my place for a wonderful little Christmas celebration and it was everything that I‘d hoped it would be. We played games, we ate, we joked, we exchanged gifts and made each other cry. These insane fucking beautiful idiots bought me the Occult version of the Illustrated Good Omens and I haven‘t completely processed it even now, I don‘t think. I am just so lucky to have these people in my life. And to think that the majority of them I only really met a year ago? I am amazed.

I am just now getting home from Christmas at my dad‘s place. We ate great food, played cards, watched movies, had an over all wonderful time. Before that, I was at my mom‘s place which was also very lovely. And I was at my not-quite-family‘s place and celebrated with them too, which I hold just as dear to my heart as all my other Christmases. It‘s, overall, been a very lovely and warm few days of celebration, really. I have enjoyed it greatly this year.

The holidays aren‘t always easy, especially not for people like me. Being around family that might not know who you truly are, or not care, or not care enough, is super challenging. I‘m lucky with mine, for the most part. I still had to sit through the whole misgendering hell, but it‘ll get better, I know it will.

I am very excited to spend some days away now, allowing me to get my mind off of things a bit. The financial aspect of it all is gonna be a thorn in my side, but it‘ll turn out okay, I‘m sure. December just isn‘t a friendly place for the bank account, that‘s all. But I‘m excited, I‘ve never been to Berlin and neither has my friend who I‘m going with, so this should be very exciting and fun. Museums, bookshops, coffee, history. All the good things we both like a good bit.

That‘s all for now. I hope you‘ve had most pleasant holidays and will continue to have a wonderful time in these last few days of 2019. I‘ll see y‘all on the flip side.

Happy Holidays.