#It’s cause I was messing around with my artsyle

[milolovesbmc]

The sillies ever, they’re everything to me <3

[randomimaginesforrandompeople]

Little tease | Riven smut

Summary: You tease Riven during training, he shows you what happens to little teases.

A/N: I do not own the gif but I thought it would fit! This is just smut, but we need more Riven smut out there. It’s a little filthier than I have written so far so I hope it isn’t too bad. 

WARNING: SMUT read at your own discretion, Daddy kink (because come on, Riven totally has one) teasing, dirty talk (a little degrading),  little rough but nothing too crazy.

Taglist: @novawrts @americaswritings @voidmalfoy @reader101k @teaandcoke @glowingatdawn @fandomwalflower @blahhhhhhhaaa @artsyle @criesinlies​ @orphan-with-a-stutter​

If you want to be added/removed from my taglist please let me know!

You had never had an attraction to someone like this, you couldn’t explain what it was. Riven just made you feel some type of way. He could give you one look  and set your body on fire, it didn’t help that he was the worlds biggest flirt and liked to show off. Luckily for you, the feeling was mutual and Riven focused his attention on you.

Riven and you had been together for a while now, you knew all his quirks and habits, and you also knew what really got him going. You were in a mood, there was a training scheduled and you did not want to go. You wanted to spend your day in bed with Riven. So to say you were a little annoyed was an understatement. The only good thing about this training was that the second year specialists were assisting, so you did get to see your boyfriend, just not in the situation you had hoped for. 

The training was in full swing and you were getting frustrated, sexually. Riven was looking way too hot for a normal training day. All sweaty, flexing his muscles and being in charge? Yeah that definitely got you going. You huffed in annoyance, you knew that training would at least be another hour. 

Silva asked Riven to demonstrate a new move and asked for a volunteer, you had never been this eager to help out, you wanted to get pinned against the floor by Riven and you were getting more desperate with the minute. Luckily Silva chose you, Riven raised his eyebrow, you never volunteered to help demonstrate. You were one of the types that liked to learn quietly to themselves. You got in position and launched at Riven, he blocked your attack and pinned you to the floor in one swift move. Silva explained the mechanics of the move as Riven was still pinning you down, you decided to tease him a little and whispered ‘’Sorry babe, needed an excuse to be underneath you again’’ He gulped and you grinned, liking the effect you had on him. The two of you rose and you knew exactly how to make this training more fun.

It was your personal mission to get a rise out of Riven. You took every oppurtunity to practice with him. Pressing your body against him, whispering things to him whenever you had the chance and making other innuendos. You could see that it was getting to him, he got a little snappy towards the other first years and looked increasingly more frustrated.

Riven had no idea what had gotten into you, but it had him going crazy. The way you moved made it more difficult to focus, especially when you kept touching him and giving him sly looks. It was killing him, Silva had asked him to help because of his improvement and he didn’t want to mess up. But god did you make it hard, pun intended. You were drinking from your water bottle when Riven stalked over to you ‘’What the fuck do you think you’re doing?’’ he hissed at you. You smiled innocently ‘’I have no idea what you’re talking about’’ Riven looked at you, clearly irritated ‘’Knock. it. off’’ He walked away, huffing loudly. You had definitely gotten to him.

You were sparring with Dane when you called Riven over, you were going in for the final move. ‘’Riv, can I try this move on you? Dane was asking about it’’ You smiled sweetly, he already knew it was a trap but he couldn’t say no to you with all the others around you, so he nodded. He launched at you and this time you had him quickly to the ground. You were sitting on top of him and stretched out your whole body over his to ‘lock him down’ you leaned down and whispered innocently ‘’Am I doing it right daddy?’’ He could feel himself twitch in his pants, you had really done it now. You slowly got off of him, brushing past his growing problem. Riven was pissed to say the least, you were actually kind of nervous when you saw the bitter expression on his face. But training was finally over and before you could do anything, Riven had grabbed your arm and dragged you off of the training fields. 

‘‘You fucking tease’‘ You were barely in his room when he had pinned you against the wall. ‘‘Trying to distract and tempt me the entire training session’‘ He smirked, his pupils full blown and dark ‘’Want me to show you what I do to a needy little tease?’’ He forced your legs open with his thigh and roughly pushed it against your heat. You let out a small noise at the contact, making him grin bigger. ‘’Not so bold now huh?’’ He pushed his thigh closer against you, making you moan. He chuckled ‘’You’re so fucking desperate’’ You tried to move against his thigh, needing any sort of friction but he held you still, breath ghosting over your neck but not doing anything. You let out a whine, you were indeed desperate and needed him to do anything ‘’Come on baby, use your words’’ You had difficulty making up a coherent sentence, especially when his lips started to lightly touch your neck before pulling away from you completely. The loss of contact made you whimper ‘’I-I need you to fucking touch me, please’’ Riven cupped your cheek ‘’Please what?’’ ‘’Please daddy’’

That was it, he was on you in a second. Attacking your mouth with his own. His hands were groping your ass, your legs around his waist and your hands in his hair as you moaned into the kiss. He carried you over to the bed and roughly dropped you. He wasted no time, taking of his shirt and your sports bra before getting on top of you again. Kissing you once again, shoving his tongue into your mouth. You could feel his growing errection being pushed into you, you were soaked at this point. He bit on your lip before assaulting your neck, he was marking you. Normally you’d mind because people were going to see but you were so lost in all of it that you didn’t care at that moment. Your hands were in his hair as you moaned, you wrapped your legs around him again to push him closer into you, earning a groan from him. You loved it when he made his little noises, and you’d do anything to hear them over and over. 

He was leaving marks all over your body taking his sweet time, way too long in your opinion. You loved his mouth on you but you needed something else more. You started grinding against him making him chuckle ‘’God you really are desperate today huh?’’ He leaned in closer to you ‘’Does baby need to be filled?’’ You nodded. He grinned while he looked at you, you already fucked out and he had barely touched you. ‘’Do you deserve it?’’ Your eyes widened ‘’Cause only good girls get filled up’’ His thumb traced over your lip ‘’Please’’ you croaked ‘’I need you so bad’’ He pulled you into a surprisingly sweet kiss ‘’Alright baby, you get off this time, but don’t pull that stunt on me again’’ you nodded, you’d do anything at this point. 

Suddenly he tore down your leggings. He whistled when he saw your panties, they were red and lacy just as he liked. ‘’You planned this all along huh? my naughty little girl’’ He nudged your legs open and touched you over your underwear, they were completely soaked and you knew it. The little friction was appreciated but it was not nearly enough ‘’Riven... please’’ He pressed a little harder ‘’Tell me what you want’’ He pushed your underwear to the side and raked his finger over your slit making you gasp ‘’I want you to fuck me daddy’’ He grinned ‘’Anything for you baby’’ He plunged two fingers into your heat and kept a rapid pace making you throw your head back and moan loudly. You didn’t even care who heard anymore. He pulled away from you after a few minutes and licked his fingers clean ‘’You taste so fucking good’’ You whined at the loss of contact but saw that he was removing his pants and boxers and licked your lips when you saw his already leaking dick. He pumped it a few times before getting back to you.

He pushed your legs apart even more and took your legs and rested them over his shoulders giving him an interesting angle. He pushed at you all at once drawing out a long moan from the both of you. He didn’t give you any time to adjust before slowly pulling out and pushing back in again. He groaned ‘’You’re so tight, I love being inside of you’’ his hips snapped deliciously into you and you let out a few breathy moans when he started picking up his pace. It didn’t take long before you felt the familiair coil burning inside your stomach. Riven noticed too ‘’Come for me babygirl’’ He thrusted a few more times and you came undone, seeing stars. Your orgasm washed over you and that was all it took for Riven to snap as well, coming inside of you. 

The two of you were breathing heavily next to each other. ‘’That was mindblowing’’ you rested your head on his chest and he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer ‘’Damn right it was, but please don’t ever tease me again during training’’ you giggled ‘’Well I might have to if you fuck me this good afterwards’’ Riven laughed he pulled you in for a slow kiss making you melt  ‘’I can fuck you good anytime babe’’

[lovabletomholland]

False Pretenses - Chapter 5

Fake Dating Series (College AU)

Tom Holland Imagine (Tom Holland x Reader)

Word Count: 1,689

Warnings: Language, Angst, Fluff, Mention of alcohol 

Summary: You and Tom have a talk about the events that happened on Christmas. Once you’re back at your apartment you meet up with James to have a conversation with him. You get ready for the New Year with new hopes.

A/N: So this is the last chapter, other than the epilogue. Thank you guys so much for taking this journey with me with my first series. I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thank you all so much! Happy New Year!!

Previously: Chapter 4

"I'm sorry about this morning. I wasn't thinking and it just happened. I know you just got out of a relationship and you were vulnerable and I took advantage of that." Tom said in a rush, "Which is why I've been avoiding you. I feel horrible. I know you only kissed back because you were feeling emotional over your break up and were rebounding. I don’t want us to start out like that because if that's how it starts, it usually ends badly. You mean so much to me. I can't lose you." Is that what he thinks? That you would just use him as a rebound? Doesn't he know you better than that? "Tom, I would never use you as a rebound. I'm not even upset over my break up with James. Honestly, it's been a long time coming. I feel at peace with it." You sigh, "I kissed you back because I wanted to. You mean everything to me as well. You're my best friend, you're always there for me. My feelings have changed. I don't know exactly when, but they have. I mean I think I've always had deeper feelings for you, I just didn't want to admit it because it's scary. I don't want to lose you and if that means just being your friend then I'm okay with that." Clearly you have to be, he made it obvious he didn't care for you that way. He said he wasn't thinking when he kissed you. You see his mouth open and then close. When it opens a second time you hold your hand up to save him the trouble, "Seriously it's okay, Tom. You don't feel the same, I get it. You care for me, just not that way." You feel your cheeks heat up from embarrassment caused by being rejected. You really just want to get out of here. Spend the rest of break by yourself in the apartment you share with Tom. At least then you'd have time to get over this before having to see him again. God, it was all so embarrassing. You start to get up but feel his hand grab yours. "How do you not know?" He asks. "What?" You ask confused, slowly turning to look at him. "How do you not know that I am hopelessly in love with you?" Tom says sitting up in the bed and turning so he can properly look at you. "You're the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the morning, the last when I go to bed. These past few days have been so hard. I've had to constantly remind myself that it's all a lie, you're not really mine, when it's all I've wanted for so long," he sighs and runs his fingers through his curls. "I just don't think right now is the time for us to start anything. You did just get out of a relationship and I don't want any unresolved emotions to mess us up." He pulls you against him and kisses your forehead. "Our time will come. I've always believed that." You know he's probably right but you still feel like you've been rejected. Still it feels nice to be in his arms. You wrap your arms around him and give him a squeeze, "Still friends?" You ask pulling away to look up at him. "For now," he winks at you and pulls you back in for a hug. "Sorry for being a bit of a dick today especially after I brought you here." "It's fine," you pull away and snuggle under the covers, "your family and Harrison are all really great. So I still felt right at home." The two of you also leave in a couple days because you're attending a New Year’s Eve party with some friends from university. So you'll be back in your own bed which is good and bad. You'll miss cuddling with Tom but you're still embarrassed so at least you can avoid that awkwardness once you get back to the apartment. *** Saying goodbye to everyone made you sad, you had got so used to being around the boys but it does feel nice to be back in your own bedroom. You sort through your suitcase putting things up that can be and making a pile for what needs to be washed. You're going to meet James in an hour, he's been texting you non-stop and you finally agreed to meet him. You're so ready to close that chapter of your life and begin a new one. You look at the pile of clothes that need to be washed and sigh, you'll tackle that mess tomorrow. You walk out of your bedroom and see Tom sitting on the couch. He looks up and gives you a smile that speeds your heart rate up, "Done unpacking?" He asks. You nod, "Yeah, or at least close enough." You grab your jacket and put it on. "I'm going to meet James so he'll stop texting me," you tell Tom, "then we can go grab something for dinner, okay?" You smile. His smile disappears for a second but then it's back but it doesn't reach his eyes, "Sure. Let me know if your plans change though." He still doesn't think that you're over James but you are. James never made your heart speed up like Tom does. When you finally stopped denying the obvious, that you have a crush on your best friend, it made everything else come into focus. You've been really dumb the past year trying to push away your feelings and date other guys that you really had no interest in, you just made yourself believe you did to hide what you felt for Tom because it scared you. "I'll be back in a bit," you say heading out the door. You sit in the back of the café and order your drink. Once the barista gives it to you, James comes in. He looks around and then starts heading your way when he spots you. "Hey," he sits down in front of you, "Thanks for agreeing to meet me." "I only did it so you'd leave me alone." You tell him honestly. "Look. I was an ass. I only took that picture and posted it online to make you jealous. I was just so pissed that you went to Tom's for Christmas and I kept seeing the pictures you posted with him and it made it worse." He sighs, "Not that it's an excuse for my behavior." You take a sip of your coffee before speaking, "I only went to Tom's because you didn't invite me to your place. I'm really glad you didn't though because being away from you, I finally realized something." You look up at him, "And I probably wouldn't have, if I had gone with you, so thank you." You say sincerely. You see the confusion in his eyes, "And what did you realize?" He asks. You put your mug down, "That I have feelings for Tom that aren't just platonic." His eyes narrow at you in anger, "I fuckin knew it! I knew you were cheating on me with him. That's why I didn't want to bring you home to meet my family." You sigh, "I never cheated on you James. Tom and I are just friends, even right now. You are the only one who cheated but I'm not mad. I'm sorry. I hope you find someone to make you happy. I truly do." Because in a way you kind of used him to hide behind so you wouldn't have to admit your true feelings for Tom. You stand and leave some money on the table for your coffee. "Happy New Year," you tell him as you walk away. He says nothing as you walk out the door which has you relieved, you didn't want to make a scene in the café. Honestly, you don't think he ever had feelings for you either otherwise he wouldn't have done what he did. You smile to yourself feeling happy. You've closed this chapter in your life and you're ready to start a new one with Tom, whenever he is ready. You'll give him his space though, for now. A couple days later you're at a New Year’s Eve party with your friends. Most of them are drunk but not you, drinking has never been your thing. You spot Tom and even though he's had a couple beers you know he isn't drunk either. He smiles at you and you make your way over to him. "Having fun?" You ask him once you're close enough for him to hear you over the music. "Yeah, I lost Harrison though, or well actually I think he ditched me since he saw a girl he wanted to talk to." He shrugs and gives you a look that says what can you do? Harrison came down for New Years and you were happy to see him, plus it made Tom really happy and seeing him happy made you happy. "I'm sure we will find him when he wants to be found," you giggle and Tom nods as you hear someone yell it's a minute until midnight. Wow, it's really almost midnight? You look at the clock and it definitely is. You look up at Tom, you really want to kiss him when its midnight but you don't know how he will feel about that. You are ready for this, you've told him you're over James but he has yet to make a move and it’s frustrating. You hear people start to countdown 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! You smile at Tom and decide to go for it. (4!) He smiles back, "Happy New Year, Y/N." (3! 2!) You wrap your arms around his neck (1!) and pull him down, your lips meeting his. He stiffens at first but then he relaxes and you feel his arms go around your waist bringing you closer to him as he deepens the kiss. You pull away just enough to mumble against his lips, "Happy New Year, Thomas."

Epilogue 

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added:)

@averyfosterthoughts​, @artsyle​, @photoshopart15​, @peterisparker​, @rebekkah4766, @jackiehollanderr​, @myr5heart​, @143amberrose​, @mendes-fan​, @peteparkersdarling​, @jdroman5432​, @stxfxniexreads​, @nightxshadex201​, @literalfsngirltrash​

[ask-chibijeff]

I don’t know if any of you will really care about seeing this but I know there are 5,606 of you and I feel the need to address something. 

I havnt posted anything in like... 3 months? And I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation but I feel like ya’ll do since you all were the most dedicated lil shits I knew. 

I have lost touch with this blog. A lot of touch. It came to a time where I dreaded updating it cause of reasons I was really to afraid to bring up.

I’m gunna bring them up now. Let it all loose and maybe then can I start fixing it.

-I hated my artsyle. 

Full on loathed it. It was generic and always changing and I felt that it was a bad thing since a lot of ask blogs had consistent and recognizable artstyles and I didnt. 

-I was super jealous of other ask blogs. 

I have been making content on this blog for 3 years and yes Ive accumulated a nice following and I love all of you  but it really hurt to see some bright eyed and bushy tailed newcomer start a blog and literally hit with so many followers. 

It felt like i spent my time crawling up a wet dirt wall for attention and validation for the work I made and this new comer was given a ladder to clime cause they had a nicer artsyle.

Ofcourse I don’t think like that now. Yes I’m still jelly as hell, but in a good way. Those blog inspire me. And I couldn't be more happier for them. Hell I proud. 

I know now that neither of us have a say in who views our content and its all a literal lottery only a few can win at.

- I’m not that great at story telling

It came to my attention when i started making harder hitting storie lines and tried to add depth to the characters I created (By created I mean the versions I use in my blog) 

I was completely unable to finish the now named “Unspoken ark” Where we see the underlying issues of BEN’s trauma with water and drowning. 

I literally hit a road block and ultimately refused to do anything. Ever time I tried my art faltered and I began making mistakes in the craft I thought i had down. I began to crumble and make excuses to not finish it. 

There are more reasons I stopped doing this (and art in general) but they are very personal and would require a deeper explanation which I want to save for another time. 

But I don’t want any of you to worry.  Alot can happen in three months.  

I’m not giving up on this blog.

While i was the most stressful thing ive ever done it was also the most fun and consistent thing I ever did.  I had never stuck with anything for so long and it makes me happy that I feel motivated to continue it. 

But I’m gunna change how I do things. 

This will never be a professional ask blog. It is now and will forever be something I do for fun. It will also double as a place for me to mess around and play with my art. 

You all will see first hand how I’m developing as an artist. 

I just hope you’re all ok with that. 

- Mun Jay

[imkylotrash]

Heyy, could I request a Saul x student!reader, of age, where they're in the middle of an argument and someone utters those three words, i love you, and clearly they've not said to each other before... ends with fluff? also angst first cuz we all love that (hides in the corner with my blanket)

I hope this is what you had in mind 💛

The day starts out good. Like really good. As in showering together, laughing when he creates a foam beard, hot kisses behind closed doors. It starts out good. By lunchtime, you’ve stolen several moments in empty classrooms and in empty corridors. Even though you’ve been together for almost a year now, it still feels like that honeymoon phase in the beginning of the relationship. 

“I have to go,” you whisper giving him a final kiss before running to class. You’re not sure when things turn sour but when you return to his chambers that night, he’s definitely not in the honeymoon phase anymore. 

“Something wrong?” you ask closing the door behind you. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed his entire body rigid. In the entirety of your relationship, you’ve had exactly one fight right in the beginning and it was so unimportant that you don’t even remember what is was about. But this right here is new territory. You’ve never seen him this upset. 

“Saul?” you ask wondering if he even heard you. He looks so lost in his thoughts you’re not sure he’s even noticed you yet. Carefully, you walk in front of him getting on your knees so you can look at him properly. 

“What happened, hon’?” you ask attempting to cup his cheeks but he pushes your hands away. His anger is definitely directed at you yet you have no idea what you could’ve possibly done in the last few hours since you saw him last. 

“Did you tell someone about us?” he asks getting up to pace the room. You stay down trying to figure out how on Earth he’d find out that you told one friend. She promised she wouldn’t tell anyone and you’d been desperate to talk to someone. It’s hard not being able to talk to your friends about relationship subjects. Sometimes you just need a second opinion. 

“I... I told-”

“So you did? Who?” He paces even faster not even looking at you as you slowly get on your feet. You have a feeling this is going to be more than just a calm chat. 

“I told Amber. But she promised she wouldn’t say anything. I’d trust her with my life!” you defend her hoping he’ll believe you. There’s no way Amber would tell anyone. In the five years you’ve known her, she’s kept every secret you’ve ever shared. 

“Clearly, she did. Because I just had to lie to Farah’s face and say that the rumours most certainly weren’t true.” You understand his frustration but you also think it’s a little misguided. You’ve kept the secret for a year at his request, he was the one worried what everyone would think despite him not being your headmaster. You were a fairy meaning you had nothing to do with the specialists and in turn with Saul. But he had remained adamant that he couldn’t date a student publicly, so you kept the secret. 

“Someone must’ve overheard us then. I can vouch for her,” you say trying to think logically. There’s a lot of young teenage girls who harboured a crush on the soldier standing in front of you. You wouldn’t put it past one of them to try to ruin your relationship by telling everyone what they’d overheard. 

“Why would you tell her in the first place? Why risk it?” he says trying to keep his cool. You know he’s not one to yell easily but the vein in his neck tells you he’s about to blow. 

“I just needed to talk some things through,” you say weakly not wanting to admit the real reason why you talked to Amber. Not when he’s acting like this. 

“What things could be so important that you’d risk this entire relationship?” he yells finally giving in to the urge. It’s the first time he’s ever yelled at you and it makes you feel incredibly small.

“I risk our relationship by having a private conversation with someone I trust completely?” you ask feeling yourself get angry too. This is so unfair. Maybe he doesn’t need to talk to others and consult but you do. And you should be allowed to do so with just one person. 

“Yes! I told you I wanted to wait until you graduated!” he exclaims throwing out his arms in a real tantrum style. This is so far from the Saul you know and adore. How did today get so twisted? 

“You better choose your next words very carefully,” you say trying to regain some of your posture. You don’t want to yell at him. You want him to calm down and have an actual conversation with you. 

“You certainly didn’t pick your words carefully. Or we wouldn’t be in this mess.” Your brain is begging you to walk out and end this fight right now but your heart is telling you to stay and fix this. 

“Mess? That’s what you want to call this? What is your problem?” you ask feeling your hands shake with actual anger. 

“My problem is you blabbering to everyone when I told you to keep it a secret and you can’t even tell my why!” 

“You want to know why I told Amber? What I needed to talk about?” you yell losing your cool once again. You are so over taking the high road. If he wants to insult you and yell at you, you’re not just going to take it. 

“Yes!” 

“Fine! I needed to talk to her because I wanted advice on how to tell you that I love you!” Deafening silence. Out of all the reasons you’d need to talk to Amber, he definitely wasn’t expecting this. 

“You love me?” he asks very quietly compared to his yelling before. Of course the answer is yes, but right now you don’t. Right now, you want to walk out and never talk to him again. 

“Not right now, I don’t.” You cross your arms waiting for him to throw another fit but he stays silent. You’re pretty sure you’d rather have him yelling than this state of shock. Is it so unimaginable that after a year you’d be ready to tell him that you love him? Is it because the feeling isn’t mutual? Maybe he wanted to keep it a secret because he never thought it would go further than a fling. 

“I’m going to go,” you say not ready to hear all the reasons why he doesn’t feel the same. He grabs your wrist as you pass him causing you to stop. Even now his touch sends a chill down your spine. 

“Don’t go. I’m an asshole.” 

“You won’t hear me argue that.” It helps to hear him admit it though. You truly are sorry that word got around but you never intended for that to happen. You just needed advice from someone you could trust. 

“Do you still love me after the way I just behaved?” he asks stroking your arm gently instead of gripping into your wrist. It’s such a small thing but it sends your nerves into overdrive. It’s always like this when he touches you. 

“Of course I do. I just won’t be treated like that and be expected to take it.” 

“You shouldn’t have to. I was worked up and you were in the line of fire. I’m truly sorry.” You take a deep breath just wanting this fight to be over with. You hate fighting with him especially when you only have so much time with him throughout the day. Mornings and nights are times where you should be cuddled up in the bed talking about everything and nothing. 

“Well?” 

“Well what?” he asks confused at the question.  

“I told you I love you. It’s pretty natural to at least give some sort of response.” He laughs quietly looking straight into your eyes. 

“Do you honestly think I’d ever say anything other than I love you too?” Finally, you can relax. You’ll admit this hasn’t been ideal, but you’re happy you got to say it. You’ve been wanting to for the last month just waiting for the right time. Turns out there never really is a right time for these kinds of things. You just have to throw yourself in the deep end and hope you’ll float. 

“It’s nice to hear you say it though.” He leans in to kiss you and you let him. You don’t want to be mad at him anymore. 

“I love you,” he whispers against your lips before kissing you again. He tells you a third time before lifting you up and carrying you to the bed. A fourth time before he carefully places kisses down your neck. A fifth time before he starts unbuttoning your shirt. You stop counting after that. 

-----------------------------------

Tagging: @grey-girl @intoanothermind @artsyle @baueoud @glowingatdawn @anreeixcobra @kingunder221b @lflores2008 @alexiapayne12 @quuenofblacks @quarterback-5 @estelmei @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody 

[imkylotrash]

Make You Feel My Love

Pairing: Saul Silva x reader

Request: Silva is dying and the reader goes after the burned one as Sky stays with him, and have Silva die then them comforting each other cause of Sky’s loss and the reader feeling like they failed him (so Sky isn’t mad that they couldn’t kill it/killed it too late). Anonymous.

Warnings: Angst, death. 

Tagging: @grey-girl​ @intoanothermind​ @artsyle​ @baueoud​ @anreeixcobra​ @kingunder221b​ @lflores2008​ @alexiapayne12​ @quuenofblacks​ @quarterback-5​ @estelmei @bitchwhytho​ @music-of-melody​ 

“I will make this better,” you whisper holding his hand in both of yours and hoping he can hear you. At first, you had thought there was plenty of time and that Markus would find the Burned One, but now you were running out of time and you didn’t feel nearly as confident things would have a happy ending. 

“You’ll stay with him?” you ask looking at Sky who’s been watching over Saul for the past three days just waiting for good news. He wants to come with you but it’s too dangerous. And someone needs to stay here to check if you get the right one.

“You have to hurry.” You know. You know you get one chance to find the right one before it’s too late. You place a gentle kiss on his forehead taking a moment to hear his breathing. It’s rattled and weak but it’s there. Your hand comes to rest on his chest feeling his feeble heartbeat. Even in his fever dream, you can feel his mind clear as day. He hasn’t been conscious for the past few hours which only made it clearer to you that you would have to act now. 

“You stay alive for me, okay?” you whisper holding back tears. You will not cry when you have every intention of returning to Saul having fixed this mess. It’s just that you don’t. You find a Burned One easily but it’s not the Burned One. By then you’ve been tracking it for far too long and there’s not enough time. Saul dies before you get back to school. You feel it in your bones the moment he slips away leaving this world behind. A crushing weight comes to land on your shoulders forcing you down on your knees. The sound that leaves your body doesn’t sound anywhere close to humane as you feel your soul being ripped apart. 

Returning to the school, you head straight for the greenhouse where you know he’ll be. They won’t have moved him before you came back. You see Sky first eyes red and puffy clinging onto his still body. 

“Oh God.” You feel like you’re going to be sick as you watch his pale skin knowing it’s only a matter of time before it’ll start to decay. 

“Sky, you have to let go,” you say gently grabbing his arms in an attempt to drag him away. You failed him. Not only Saul, but Sky. Once again, Sky had to lose a parent and once again, it left him alone. You failed him. 

“Let go of me!” he yells desperately trying to hold on to Saul’s body, but you know Harvey is waiting outside ready to start the preparations for the burial. You can’t let yourself fall apart right now because if you truly let yourself feel the excruciating agony that’s waiting in the dark corners of your heart, you don’t think you’ll ever recover. So, you have to stay strong for Sky as you refuse to fail him once more. He needs you now more than ever. 

“Sky, listen to me. He’s gone. He doesn’t have a heartbeat.” You try your hardest not to look at Saul’s body but it’s like it’s screaming for you - demanding your attention. It looks so wrong. 

“You said you were going to fix this,” Sky cries out. You failed him. You can’t let go of the feeling that Sky trusted you with the most important task and you failed him. Worst of all, you failed Saul. He was supposed to see Sky graduate, you had plans involving a white dress and a ceremony. God, you were supposed to grow old and grey together. 

“I know. I’m so sorry.” Something breaks inside of you as you try to convince Sky that you have to go so that Harvey can begin. A string rips that you just know can’t ever be fixed. He spins around abandoning his attempt to hold onto Saul and instead clings onto you. 

“I’m so sorry,” you repeat wishing you could change the outcome. Wishing Saul was still here even though you know it’s futile thinking. Nothing can bring him back. 

“Sky. let’s get some fresh air.” You look to the door where Riven is standing. He locks eyes with you and gives you a little nod. He knows you need to say goodbye too and Sky can’t be there for that. Very slowly, Riven coaxes Sky outside and you allow yourself five minutes to fall apart. 

“I love you,” you whisper placing a kiss on his forehead but this time his skin is clammy and cold. It’s only been a few hours but his body has already begun to smell. You can’t stop crying long enough to say anything else but Saul already knows. He knows just how much you love him and that you wish you could’ve saved him.

“I’ll take care of him,” you croak right before Harvey enters the room. He doesn’t say a word but just hugs you to let you know that he’s here. It’ll take a few hours to get everything ready for the ceremony. Time you spend walking the grounds of the school. You don’t want to think about how quiet the world has gone without his heartbeat. You don’t want to remember him lying in that greenhouse but alive and vibrant with that serious look on his face during practice. You want to remember the nights wrapped in each other’s arms under the moonlight and sweaty bodies colliding in embrace. That’s how you want to remember Saul. 

“I took him to his room to cool down before the ceremony,” Riven says making you jump. You’d been too caught up in your thoughts to notice him approaching. 

“Thank you.” You find a log to sit on watching the school from afar. How are you going to return to the school knowing that he’s not there anymore? 

“Do you think he blames us?” Riven asks sitting down next to you. Riven and you have always been friendly with each other. You were a sort of mentor to him but now it just felt like talking to an old friend. 

“Why would he blame you? This wasn’t your fault,” you say shocked that he’d even think like that. If Sky should blame anyone, it should be you. You were the one that failed to kill the Burned One. 

“I didn’t do anything. I wasn’t even there until after the fact because I was too busy with Beatrix. I wasn’t there.” You take Riven’s hand in yours knowing you’re seconds away from completely falling apart. 

“You didn’t know. But you came as soon as you heard, right?” you ask and he nods with tears streaming down his face, “then you have nothing to be sorry for. You were there for him and you’ll continue to be for as long as he needs it. We both will.” 

“But what if he hates us now? What if we’re just a remember of what he lost?” You can’t help the tears escaping your eyes this time. Losing Sky at the same time as losing Saul is too much for you to handle. You have to believe that he’ll understand you did everything you could but that voice in your head won’t stop whispering. You failed him. 

“Then we give him space. And make sure to be there when he needs us again.” You both walk back to the school not wanting to miss anything. Seeing Farah somehow makes everything worse. You’ve known her for over a decade now and you’ve never ever seen her cry. It’s too much for you to handle right now. You head straight outside again feeling like you can’t catch your breath. That’s where you spot Sky and Riven. Both dressed in battle gear same as you to give Saul a proper goodbye. 

“Stay close, please,” Sky whispers when you walk over to him and you feel his sorrow as if it were your own. There’s no hatred or anger towards you but you still can’t help but feel as though you failed him. Your broken promise served as a cruel reminder of what you had failed to do and what it had cost you. 

“Of course,” you say vowing to always take care of Sky no matter what. You’ll make sure Saul is proud of you both. You don’t pay attention to the ceremony or the beautiful speeches. You already know Saul was the greatest soldier and a caring teacher. They can’t tell you anything you don’t already know. Every last student is crying mourning the loss of their teacher and the weight of their emotions almost kills you. It’s suffocating but you promised Sky to stay close and you have every intention of staying true to your word. 

“We’ll give everyone a moment to say goodbye before we lower the casket.” It seems a cruel torment to have Saul be so close but still a million lifetimes away. You put your hand on the casket letting your powers search for his mind one last time but the nothingness steals the air from your lungs. 

You can’t feel him anymore.