#It would’ve looked amazing from the big screen :’D

[bunibelles]

I should’ve watched puss in boots the last wish while it was in theaters :’D

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

just because you’re afraid it doesn’t mean you’re broken.

Titans 3.05

once more into the cold dark void of the internet with my stream-of-consciousness take on a superhero tv show...

spoilers ahead.

1. i cannot believe that among the first things i get to hear in this episode with my own two ears is the line 'eluded our overdudes'. why must you give me such pain along with so much joy, show?

1.5. scarecrow stringing jason along on this path to red-hood-dom is not something i would’ve ever expected, but does kind of make sense. 

1.55. i don’t know all the details of the original resurrection arc in the comics but i like that jason, weirdly, has a greater role to play in his own demise and rebirth? i think it makes it easier to draw a line between his past trauma, the demonstrably shitty and terrifying responsibility of being robin, the ways bruce and the titans wronged him, his responses to that, the reasons he turns to scarecrow, and his final evolution to red hood. it makes for a smoother character arc rather than a one that was interrupted for two decades before somebody went oh hey let’s resurrect that kid that the audience once voted to kill and make him an anti-hero!

1.75. what’s crane giving him? anti fear toxin? anyway, crane is a fucking creep and i’m not sure i want to see a whole lot of him on my screen.

2. oh, um, heads up: there’s a long sequence of unsteady cam + flickering lights right after the title card upto the 3:16 mark. it’s a bit headache-inducing so if you want to skip, you can go ahead and do that. 

2.45. that’s... weird... why would he dream about... donna...

ok, who am i kidding. i’m going to jump right into my theory about Why Titans Makes Sense Actually because the show itself is apparently not interested in explaining itself:

a) it makes no sense for jason to be conjuring up donna--who famously did not care much for him!--in his dreams. (he wasn’t even there when she died.) or for her to be telling him don’t go or there’s still time.

b) this leads me to think that that’s actually donna, in some sort of limbo between life and death, the kind of place where jericho used to be

c) rachel has demonstrated that she has the power to link the minds of the titans across great distances--she called jason and hank/dawn for help in 2.01, she linked up everybody later in the season, projected dick’s hallucination of his father into their brains without even realising she was doing it, and in the finale, she managed to get dick into conner’s brain. she’s in themyscira now. is this how she gets donna back to life? but reaching out to her in that non-space between life and death?

d) the next obvious question is: why isn’t donna appearing in the dreams of the other titans? she probably is, but they have better reason to be dreaming about her since they were actually close to her, unlike jason.

e) but why would she warn jason in particular? does she foresee jason entering the afterlife--however briefly? does she have an idea of what jason plans to do and what he will become?

f) anyway, more trippy mindscapes and weird psychic powers, yay!

2.5. my heart clenched when bruce comforted jason post-nightmare: clearly i’ve been reading way too much batfam fic. this is a side of bruce we haven’t really been told to expect by all the characters on the show calling him a ‘psychopath’ (*cough*unreliablenarrators*cough*) and him getting jason to speak to a professional speaks volumes about the kind of self-reflection he’s done post dick’s departure, and maybe some of the regrets he has with regards to how he dealt with dick’s traumas.

i mean, just look at him when jason dismisses his concerns! BRUCE IS TRYING JASON

anyway, i have a whole lot more i want to say about this, but i’ll save it for later. 

also: LESLIE THOMPKINS!!!!

3. i really like molly--and i love that she’s a friend from before jason got taken in by bruce, the implication that they meet up regularly and that she’s a grounding influence on him (tho clearly not grounding enough to not go along with his dumbass idea about confronting a child trafficker alone). 

3.5. aw, jason. robin was his armour against everything in the world that would throw him down and chew him to bits, but san francisco proved that even robin wasn’t enough to protect him. it’s really interesting how ‘disillusionment with the idea of robin’ is so integral to the traumas of both dick and jason but in such different ways. 

4. LESLIE!!!!!!! i even forgive her office being so goddamn blue because leslie! 

4.5. it makes so much sense for titans!verse leslie to be a therapist, because this show is so inward looking anyway, and therapist sessions are a useful tool to showcase this character work in a story. besides, at least in fanfic, leslie often seems to double up as a counsellor anyway. 

4.6. oh man. i’m not terribly convinced by walters’ red hood (tho i think that may be the point--argh. i’ll come back to this thought later. have to stop getting distracted!) but he plays the asshole kid that’s trying not to let any real emotion seep through really well.

“you’d like me to punch you, wouldn’t you”

5. not sure what to think of batman’s little trophy case other than the show winking unsubtly at us and going look look - catwoman! the riddler! two face! you excited yet?! it’s like the scene from the end of amazing spiderman 2 when they were trying to drum up excitement for a sinister six spinoff by having harry osborne walk by a bunch of display cases with stuff from iconic villains in them.

... but then again, bruce does like to display a lot of shit in his batcave, including his dead robin’s bloodstained costume, so.

5.5. bruce is so soft with jason it’s killing me. beyond just trying to learn from his mistakes with dick, it speaks to his own genuine desire to balance his dedication to gotham with doing the best by his sons, although he’s often not successful with that. 

i love that titans is really playing the long game with bruce wayne, with each season and character-perspective sliding in fresh pieces of a bigger puzzle. titans’ bruce has always been a phantom of other peoples’ making, but now we’re getting the idea that he’s a whole lot more complicated than other people make it seem.

5.75. it really recontextualises some of his actions from previous seasons: the fact that he locked dick out of his security systems in 1.06 is likely his way of respecting dick’s independence and his desire not to be associated with batman/gotham anymore. jason knowing about bruce’s tracker while dick doesn’t is probably bruce trying to be more honest and upfront with his charges. bruce sending jason packing off to sanfran to spend time with the titans is probably not him passing on a big responsibility to dick (as i first uncharitably thought) but him trying to get jason out of the toxic influence of gotham for a while and a sign of his trust in dick as a leader and a mentor,

5.8. i mean, bruce is a prick, but he’s also human.

6. i think leslie is doing some good work with jason here, though she may have overstepped the line with her line about robin as a construct being projected by a man with BPD. her speculations about bruce’s diagnosis have no place in her session with jason, and if bruce confides in her, an egregious violation of patient-therapist confidentiality. 

(about the diagnosis itself... i don’t know. i can’t really confirm or refute this without a whole lot more information, and i’m not sure if the writer of this episode means BPD in the same way an actual professional might.)

6.5. i think a huge thing that gets missed out in a lot of recent comics as well as movies/shows is that bruce didn’t create the robin persona out of whole cloth. dick did. he’s the starting point of that legacy and to call it entirely bruce’s creation is blatant erasure of that. in fact, i’m surprised that dick doesn’t feature more in the conversations they’re having about the pressures of being robin. after all, the guy had been robin--bruce’s partner--for such a long time before jason. 

6.8. (and here’s the primal part of me that resonates the deepest with dick grayson--the Eldest Daughter part--that’s sort of resentful: that jason gets the therapy and softness and the learning from mistakes when it took years and years for bruce to reach out in any meaningful way to dick.)

7. oooh that was a great scene!

it’s fun to do these stream-of-consciousness live reactions, because the moment you step down from your soapbox, the episode goes right into tackling what you were just complaining about. bruce means well, he’s learning, but he goes about exactly the wrong way to help jason: taking away robin now can’t be read by jason as anything but a devastating judgment call from bruce. and iain glen really sells the moment that bruce realises this--too late--and his helplessness in trying to get jason to see that it isn’t jason’s fault that he’s trying to do this. he loves jason enough that jason is enough. 

7.5. aaaah so jason brings up the elephant in the room at last. dick got everything makes sense from his perspective, where getting to put on a costume and fight crime means approval, means being something stronger and better than you are. dick got to be robin, then nightwing, and a leader of a whole team of other costume-clad heroes. 

8. ... how did jason just walk into arkham????? this is ridiculous.

8.3. i mean, clearly jason’s not thinking straight, but betraying batman like this puts his possibilities of being robin again even further away. 

8.5. watching that chemistry experiment montage was strangely funny. this guy is looking for an antidote to fear? well, constantly mixing up and inhaling gases concocted by a mad-scientist supervillain is something only the very fearless--reckless to the point of foolishness!--would do. what’s to say crane’s not given you a formula for a drug that will keep you tethered to his every will and whim? hmmmm?

8.7. so he sought out the joker to... test the formula??? 

9. wow the “loud and clear... boss” hits different after a whole episode of them referring to each other as father and son.

9.3. waitwaitwait HOLD UP. wait a DANG MINUTE. you’re telling me that scarecrow had enough resources that he could not only have folks on the outside steal jason away and dunk him in a lazarus pit (i TOLD you that this show would bring up and dismiss ra’s al ghul in a ten second aside! I TOLD YOU) but also have his own little chemistry lab in the basement, AND have enough resources for jason to build his red hood persona???????? all of this in barely twenty four hours?

well there goes my ‘jason orchestrated his death’ theory. it was nice while it lasted. *cups hands to the sky* fly away, my baby.

9.6. a part of me is gleeful at the rushed nature of such an iconic transformation though, especially when compared to all the character work that went before it. we’re so used to getting the opposite that it’s fucking delightful to have a show that’s more interested in exploring its characters’ minds rather than battle scenes or recreating transformations from the comics. that’s taken such bold and exciting steps to fully convey all the nuances of its most recognisable character, bruce wayne, from casting an older actor to play him to unflinchingly showing just how damaging the vigilante lifestyle has been to him and the people he loves. BRILLIANT

*sporfle*

10. again, heads up: a whole lot of flashing lights between 40:28 and 42:00. 

10.3. i guess it’s the super-compressed timeline that’s really throwing me off. where did he have the time to get/develop the mind control thing from? or is it something that he got from the cabal of villains that he intimidated at the beginning of 3.02? very messy.

10.5. i love molly, i hope she shows up again this season.

11. aaaand that’s it! that was a solid episode as flashback episodes go, but now i can’t wait to return to the present.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers (February 22nd, 2021)

Hello! Here’s another collection of anon ask answers all put together in one big post.

This might be strange considering how upbeat yall are about the fandoms for your games in general, but is there any particular trope or ship you WOULDN'T want us writing/drawing/etc. in relation to your stuff? (IE, any canon you don't want us 'overwriting' or something like that?)

Of course we would want the fan content people make to not be racist, sexist, homophobic, bigoted, harmful, etc. But in terms of generally doing non-canon pairings or adding in headcanons or stuff, we really don’t mind that. People are welcome to have fun and explore their own ideas.

for the 1.2 Android update was it meant to download as a  separate app? I really want to keep my previous save files but they don't show up (also thank u for the updates I'm really excited to get back into the game!!)

We had to change the name of the file and unfortunately for some phones that meant it’s treated as a brand new game. I’m sorry your saves didn’t transfer over to the new version. You can try to look up your specific phone and see if there’s a way to access save files for games on your device and then transfer those saves over to the new build manually. It may or may not be possible.

I'm having some trouble figuring out how to get the update from Itichio without losing my save files? Is it the same game or a folder I can put in the properties? Sorry if this question is not worded well or if this isn't the avenue you'd want to take technical questions on

Are you using Android? If so, the above answer may apply to you. If you’re on PC or Mac, the save files will automatically still be included.

Hey. I really loved playing our life. It was a fun experience and I never thought I would like it this much. I do have a question, I am currently replaying the game and I am choosing choices I never chose at first. In step 2 during the road trip arc, I decided to ask Cove about what he liked to see on people. One of his response was anklets and black eyes. My MC have just happens to have black eyes. Do Cove say black eyes cuz my mc have it or it was just a coincidently programmed into the game?

He uses your eye color intentionally! If you changed your eye color he’d change what he said.

Will step 4 have 10 moments like steps 1-3? 

Step 4 is only an epilogue. It plays like the openings/endings of the earlier Steps where it’s a bunch of scenes all in a row, there aren’t any individual Moments.

hi! who was/were the artist(s) for our life? 

&

who is the artist for Our Life: Beginning and Always?

Main Sprite and CG Artist: Addrossi

Main Background Artist: Vui Huynh

Main Interface Artist: Winter Slice

Other artists who helped out can be seen in the credits of the game.

In the new ol, there are two main love interests... Would it be possible to pair them together or is that weird? 

You can’t stay single and pair them together. If we are going to add all the extra content to have a route where the two LIs get together, it’d be a full poly route where them and the MC were all dating. And that’s not a for sure option yet because it’d add a lot of extra complications. But either way, in OL the relationships all gotta be about the MC, haha.

In OL2, there will be extra LIs in form of DLCs? Like Dexter and Baxter. 

Maybe! We’ll see how it goes.

Since Cove will have 2 diff body types in s4, will the storyline and dialogs reflect this? Or all of it will be the same? Btw love the game and sorry for bad english. Hope this doesn't sound rude 😅 

Some descriptions and pieces of dialog will change, but it won’t impact the story really. And you don’t need to apologize! It’s all good.

Will you ever release the transparent sprites of the Our Life characters? 

Probably not, I’m afraid. They’ve got a lot of pieces and it’d just be kind of hard to deal with, aha.

Something I was curious about, what was your inspiration for making a game with so much customization?

Initially, the idea was just about having a romance where you actually grew up with the LI. But it was pretty stressful to try deciding how fast the relationship would progress with it taking place over such a long period of time and with no real storyline carrying it. People might not wanna play a game where the characters don’t get along as kids, but other people might not bother with a game where kids immediately liked each other. So the obvious answer came, just let the player pick themselves how it goes. From there we simply continued to add more flexibly with the MC due to the same thought process of wanting to make sure people were onboard with how their life was going.

What made you decide to change the artstyle for ol 2 so much? I of course respect all your decisions and will buy the shit out of everything related to ol 2, but i love the original style and i m honestly not a fan of the styles shown on patreon, despite me liking the painterly style in general. (I don t mind the style being changed, just that the examples shown so far all feel like there s something wrong with them.) 

We’ve always used different art styles for each of our projects. They all have distinct looks from each other. It’s just nice to do something new. I’m glad you really like how the first game looks, though. And those samples were only general concepts, rather than the exact options being decided between. We wanted to see reactions to different options. The art style we’re going with won’t be exactly like those, though I personally like all of them. I think players are gonna enjoy the style Our Life: Now & Forever when it’s revealed.

Hey! Is it ok to ask what gender ourlife2 protagonist will be and if we'll be given the same opportunity to customize an MC? Totally understand if you're keeping this under wraps for now if u don't wanna say! 

OL2 will have the same type of MC customization as OL1, but even more refined! So their gender will be up to you.

Hi! I happened upon Our Life on Steam by pure chance. It is such a great game, I am super excited about the DLC, and I just want you all to know that you are awesome! :D I have a question, and I'm sorry if it's been asked before. Do you have plans of making more games similar to Our Life, with customizable player character? The customizable player character was probably the one thing I personally have been desperate for in romance VNs. So glad there finally is one and would love to see more.

Thank you! And yep, we do have plans for more games like Our Life, most notably is another game in the franchise- Our Life: Now & Forever. We’ll also likely have other, non-OL, games with customizable MCs, though we may still have some games with set MCs in the future as well.

On the patreon dlc just curious but is it possible to play it without actually sleeping together/getting the nsfw content? I just want to spend more time with Cove 

Yeah, you can still choose not to go that far. Though the event is shorter if you pass on the 18+ stuff.

At the beginning of Step 2, did Cove end up accidentally falling asleep in your bed? Or did he fall asleep on the floor? 

He fell asleep sitting on the floor with his body/head leaning against the side of the bed.

This may seem like a weird question, but what exactly is the difference between "direct" and "relaxed" on the comfort scale?

Direct is blunter and more teasing, relaxed is lighthearted and goes with the flow.

can the MC have tattoos in step 3? 

Not in Step 3, but you can in Step 4.

how would Cove react if he visited somewhere like North Carolina in winter where it can get in the 20s(F) at night sometimes? 

He would be shocked and unprepared for what serious coldness is really like, haha. The poor beach baby would wanna go home.

Hello! I just joined the PATREON!! It’s amazing! I love your games! I have a question, approximately how much after will the nsfw be out? After or before the dlc 3 and step four? Sorry my English isn’t the best!❤️❤️❤️ 

Thanks so much! The NSFW DLC will be out after the Step 3 DLC but before Step 4. And you don’t need to apologize for that ^^.

This might be obvious but, will step 4 have dlcs? Also, where will the nsfw dlc happen? Won't bother me at all if it s in in our or his house but i do think it d be moderately funny 

Step 4 will have the Cove Wedding DLC and the Derek and Baxter romance DLCs each add a lot of new content to Step 4, though they’re also partially set in Step 2 and Step 3 respectively. The NSFW DLC happens in Cove’s room.

I keep wondering what would've happened if Mr. Holden met Lizzie first instead of the MC. I can't see that turning out well somehow lol. 

It wouldn’t have made a difference. He met the MC’s parents first and they told him about their two kids. He wanted the MC specifically to be Cove’s friend because the two were the same age.

Even though we have a way to go I'm really excited for OL 2! I was curious though, is the next main character going to be adopted again? I thought it was really clever to make the first main character adopted so when players are customizing,  they can make them look how ever they like without worrying about pesky genetics. Just wondering! 

The OL2 MC is not adopted. We wanted to go for a new dynamic. Instead their parents are their biological single mother who is partially customizable and an off-screen sperm donor father. So the mom will look generally like the MC and any other traits not from her can be assumed to come from whoever the father was.

—– —– —–

Thank you so much for all the asks ^^

FAQ   If you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[daadddysprincessss]

(REPOST FROM MY OLD ACCOUNT)

We aren’t even related

paring: Jim Mason x reader

Summary: step siblings are not blood related - Your dad had been dating Sandy Mason for over a year now, and they had both agreed to move in together(unfortunately they chose your dad’s house), Sandy had 2 kids of her own, Medina and Jim - they were twins, but 2 very different people. You could admit you did have a small crush on Jim when you saw him at school, but so did every other girl, and now that the both of you would basically be step siblings you would never have a chance now. // 3.7k words, part one

Warnings: step siblings are not blood related, harmless flirting

tagging: taglist: @ghostiesbedroom @lovelylangdonx @queencocoakimmie@langdonsinferno @peachesandfern @gold-dragon-slayer @charlottelouise135 @hplotrfan @rosegoldrichie @taryn-just-happened@little-grunge-flowerz @ccodyfern @1-800-bitchcraft @langdonsoceaneyes @sojourne @starwlkers @bellejeunefillesansmerci @chicaluna2410 @crazycatchloe (hope its okay if i tagged you)

Today was one of the worst days of your life, your dad’s girlfriend was moving in with her 2 kids - you either had to move your room to the basement of share with her daughter, you quickly opted out of sharing with a complete stranger. After you settled into the basement room you came upstairs and awaited the Masons arrival with your dad - he looked so happy, you couldn’t remember the last time you had seen him happy -

“Nervous?” you tilted your head and looked up at your dad

He continued to bounce his leg up and down - “a little” he smiled at you

“Don’t be, it’s gonna be amazing” you gave him a weak smile, trying to hide the annoyance in your voice - the only highlight of the day was staying home from classes, it seemed odd for someone to move in on a thursday but whatever - it kept you out of class.

The both of you had waited till 10:30 when your dad quickly jumped up when he heard the soft knock on the door - “hi Sandy” he smiled as he opened the door for her

You stood back as Sandy walked into your home - she gave you a weak smile - “Kids, come on in” she yelled

You placed your hands behind your back and fiddled with your fingers as you waited for them to walk in - you’ve seen them around the school before and never really talked to them so this was definitely going to be a big change - both Medina and Jim walked in, Medina smiled at you, and Jim didn’t even look up from his phone.

“Hey y/n” Medina smiled

“Hi Medina, Hi Jim” you said as politely as possible

“Hi” Jim’s voice was deep - he didn’t even look up from his phone

You rolled your eyes at him - Medina let out a little laugh, she noticed you roll your eyes -

Your dad walked in holding a few boxes labelled with JIMS ROOM “where should I put these”

“Whatever room I get I guess” his tone was rude

Your dad walked towards your old room placing them down

“If you want to follow me, I can show you guys your rooms” you walked towards Jim and Medina

“Yeah that would be cool” Medina smiled - she nudge Jim’s shoulder in hopes he wouldn’t be so rude but it clearly didn’t work

“Medina this is your room, im sorry its kinda small - it used to be my dads office” you turned to Medina

“It’s alright, there’s room for my bed, desk, and surfboard” Medina said with a shrug, she stepped into the room and walked towards the window. “it has a killer view - wow” she turned to look at you

“My dad said you love the ocean, so I made sure you’d get this room” you smiled at Medina - “Jim, your room is right over here” you turned to look at him

You walked towards your old room - “Jim this is you room, it uh used to be mine” your voice was monotoned

“Cool, so ill be sharing a room with you I take it” Jim raised his brow

Jim is one of the cutest guys at school, you knew you never had a chance with before - but now you really didn’t have a chance - “Uh no, my room has been moved to the basement” you said nervously

“Damn it would’ve been nice to share my room with a hottie like you” Jim smiled and walked into the room

You were a bit taken back by his confidence - a little bit of blush swept across your face from his weirdish compliment - you turned on your heels and walked back towards your dad and Sandy

“Thank you so much y/d/n” Sandy said as your dad carried in the last of the boxes - “JIM, MEDINA! Coming grab your boxes” Sandy yelled

The first thought that ran through your mind was ‘does she ever shut up’ like who yells that much for their kids

Medina was the first to come and grab her boxes, and than her surfboard. Jim came much later - as if he was preoccupied in his room - the first thing he grabbed was his surfboard(probably checking to make sure it wasn’t damaged) and than his boxes -

“The beds will be here later today - if that’s okay” your dad said nervously to Sandy

“I’m sure Jim and Medina won’t mind” she smiled

You went downstairs to your room, and flopped down onto your bed - you pulled out your phone and clicked the group chat labels ‘baddies’ - ‘well they are moved in now :/‘ you sent to the chat

‘Ooo at least you have that hottie to stare at!! ;)’ Heather texted

Heather wasn’t wrong Jim was the schools biggest eye candy, to us girls he was like a shiny new toy - of course you wanted to play with him but now that he’s technically your step-brother you can’t even touch him -

you tossed your phone aside to try and clear your mind “I can’t think of him like that anymore” you whispered to yourself - you looked up at the ceiling above you, you were directly under Jim’s room, you could hear him walking around above you - you even heard your window slide open a few times, probably testing if it will be quiet enough to sneak out (which it was). You turned your head to the side and looked at your new windows, they were big enough to get out of but a little high to reach, you quickly got out of bed and moved your nightstand under your window so you could still sneak out whenever - or so your friends/boys could sneak in without making a sound.

You laid back onto you bed - *ding* your phone buzzed on the other side of your bed *ding*

“Fuck who is it” you sat up reaching for your phone -

‘Bay party tmrw nite - u in?’ Heather texted

‘If ur cuming to the party wear something sexy - gotta impress the boys’ Amber texted

You rolled your eyes and laughed - ‘only if you were something cute with me;)’ you replied to Amber

‘Yeah i'll pick up Ambs and Vana’ you texted back to Heather - “fuck shes so annoying” you tossed your phone aside again - you turned to your side and started to doze off slightly until you heard a light knock at your door - “come in” your voice was soft

The door slowly opened “I was wondering if you wanted these back” Jim’s voice appeared from the doorway - he was holding up a lighter and incense

“Uh yeah! Thanks” you quickly walked towards him grabbing the items

“The best way to cover up the scent of pot is the smell of glass cleaner” Jim laughed - he knew exactly why you had incense

You smiled awkwardly “thanks” -

Jim pulled out a joint from his pocket - “wanna smoke up before dinner?” He smiled

Jim never talked to you - he actually labelled you a ‘snob’ for not showing up at bay boy parties often, so what was the change of heart here - “uh sure, why not?” You said softly - you flicked the lighter on and lit the incense -

The soft smell of lavender filled your room as Jim lit the joint - he inhales deeply, holding it for a moment - the smoke ghosted form his lips, he held the joint up for you. You took the joint and inhaled deeper than Jim(trying to show off) you held it in - when you parted your mouth to blow out the smallest bit of smoke came out - which made you smile.

“Wanna sit?” You tilted your head as you inhaled again

Jim nodded and took a seat on the end of your bed, you joined him on your bed, sitting with your back to your pillows - you leaned over(practically on your knees) to hand him the joint - Jim took the joint and smoked it

“I never would’ve thought a girl like you was into this sort of stuff” Jim laughed

“Into what? Smoking? Pv can be boring when there’s no parties, you have to find your own fun, you’ll quickly learn about me Jim” you smiled at him - you both were getting along, it felt slightly weird

“And what other things do you like to do for fun y/n” Jim’s voice was a bit higher as he held the smoke in

“Sometimes you can go whale watching, party at the bay, sometimes my friends and I go down to the train tracks and drink mindlessly - sometimes I go down there with guys” your eyes went wide realizing you overshared -

“Go on - im interested in what else you do at the tracks” Jim’s voice was low and raspy

You gave a weak smile as you reached over to grab the joint from Jim - you nearly fell face first onto his lap, but you quickly caught yourself before it could happen. Both of you started to laugh hard, “I’m so sorry” you took a deep inhale

“It all good babe” Jim laughed

You were a bit taken back by Jim calling you babe, like sure he probably called every girl babe but you never actually hung out with him - you took another deep inhaled before handing the joint back to Jim - you could feel your high kicking in, making you feel more relaxed. You watched Jim place the joint between his plump lips and inhale - god you wanted to kiss those lips - he parted his lips and exhaled the smoke softly, your eyes flickered up to his face - he was so fucking hot

“Y/N! JIM! Dinner is ready!” Your dad yelled from the top of the stairs - quickly getting you to focus

“Wait what time is it” you said softly as you grabbed your phone, ‘6:45’ was across the top of your screen - “we’ve been down here for almost 3 hours??” You started to laugh

Jim bit his bottom lip and looked at you “it was the best 3 hours I’ve spent here so far” he stared at you for a moment - you could feel the tension building up between you

“JIMMY! Y/N!” Sandy yelled

You both stood up together and walked towards the stairs to go up - Jim let you walk up first. When you came from behind the door the dinner table was set up with a nice dinner, there were 2 open spots next to each other - Jim and you had taken both those seats.

Dinner felt more full than normal, it wasn’t just you and your dad anymore - but it was a good feeling, you saw him laugh and smile a lot more than normal which warms your heart. After dinner you cleaned up the table with Sandy trying to get to know her more - she was a bit odd

“Thank you for dinner Sandy, it was delicious” you smiled as you load the dishwasher

“It was my pleasure - i'm glad you enjoyed it” Sandy smiled

You turned your head slightly and noticed Jim standing in the entrance of the kitchen gawking at you - you gave a playful smile and quickly stood up

“Hi” your voice was sweet

“H-hey” Jim stuttered out

“Do you need anymore help in the kitchen Sandy?” you turned your head to hide the blush sweeping across your face

“No dear, I got it from here” She smiled at you

Jim’s lips were pressed into a thin line - he parted his lips to say something but nothing came out

“Cat got your tongue” you teased - before Jim could say anything you walked towards the basement door, you went down into your room and threw yourself onto your bed - “why did I just do that” you raised your voice as you pushed your face into your pillows. Why were you being so flirty, you knew you couldn’t have him - you could feel your body tensing just thinking about him, your mouth started to water at the thought of kissing Jim’s plump lips, you could even imagine the of his ribs if he lied between my hips - your hand started to trail down your body, getting closer to the band of your leggings - *ding* you quickly removed your hand from almost entering your pants, you quickly sat up to see who messaged you -

‘Hey, I really enjoyed our smoke sesh. Maybe we can have another one soon;)’ Jim texted you

The first thought that ran through you head was ‘how did you get my number?’ -

‘Yeah, maybe tomorrow’ you texted back

‘Before the party ;)’ Jim texted back quickly

How did he know you were going? He never asked you - who told him? ‘Yeah sure, whatever works’ you texted back trying to sound cool

‘Sweet dreams ;)’ Jim texted back

You stared at your phone with a smile plastered across your face - “sweet dreams” you said softly out loud - you never texted him back that night. You laid back in your bed, you felt like you had a little school girl crush on Jim, but there was that little voice in the back of your head screaming at you ‘HE’S BASICALLY YOUR STEP BROTHER YOU CAN’T GO FOR IT’ - you closed your eyes to drown out the screaming in your head - after you closed your eyes you quickly fell asleep.

You woke up Friday morning to the smell of your dad’s world famous pancakes, you quickly jumped out of bed and threw and oversized shirt on, you ran up the stairs to see your dad humming as he was flipping some pancakes

“Good Morning sunshine” his voice was cheerful

“Good morning daddy” you smiled - you had forgotten what he looked like when he was this happy

“I made these ones special for you” your dad smiled and handed you a plate

When you took the plate you looked down to see mickey mouse shaped pancakes - “dad, you really didn’t have to” you smiled so hard your face started to hurt

“Think of it as a thank you” your dad pulled your head to his chest and kissed your forehead

You walked towards the kitchen table with your plate - you smiled at Medina who was eating her breakfast

“Morning” you spoke softly

“Morning y/n” she smiled

You placed your plate down and turned around to grab a drink - “Medina do you want anything to drink?”

“Yeah sure, I wasn’t sure where anything was” she laughed

You grabbed to fruit juices and walked back handing one to Medina, you both sat in silence, eating breakfast till Jim came out of his room - he stomped his way to the kitchen, his hair was a complete mess, dark circles under his eyes - almost like he didn’t sleep. He didn’t say a word to either of you, he grabbed a plate of food and sat next to you - he closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled deeply -

“Morning Jim” your voice was low

He turned to look at you, giving you a weak smile along with a nod - he acted as if you meant nothing to him..

You ate your breakfast in silence, after you were done you brought your plate to the sink. You looked at the clock to see if there was enough take to shower before class - which there was -

You walked towards the bathroom(since the basement bathroom was being worked on) -you grabbed a towel and set the water temperature, you tossed the oversized shirt aside and stepped into the shower, you put a little bit of shampoo in your hand and started to massage it into your scalp -

“Holy fuck” Jim’s voice was muffled

Your eyes widen and you quickly covered your breasts - “Jim what are you doing in here, don’t you knock” your voice was full of embarrassment

“I did” Jim blurted out as his eyes trailed down your body

“Jim get out” you pointed at the door

“Or I could just join you, save water right?” He laughed - Jim walked towards the shower

“Jim no” you turned the shower off - you really did want him to join

“You know you want me to” Jim winked

There was a knock at the door - “Jim? Y/n?” Medina’s voice came from behind the door

“Sorry medina I’m almost done my shower” your voice was shaky

“Oh sorry y/n” Medina’s voice was quiet

“Okay Jim when Medina walks away your out” you covered your breasts again

“Nice ass” he smirked

The corners of your lips started to curve from the compliment(kinda compliment) Jim gave you -

“I worked hard for it” you spoke with confidence

“I bet it would look nicer with a few hand prints” Jim teased

You were a bit taken back by his boldness, you tilted your head and raised a brow - “Yeah I bet it would” you smirked

You could see a bulge build in Jim’s pants - he looked down and back at you, pink blush crept across his face from embarrassment - “Medina’s gone - sorry for the blue balls” you smirked

You could admit telling Jim to go away instead of fucking you senseless hurt a little - you gave yourself blue balls too, you quickly showered and went to your room, you got dressed and brushed your hair out.

When you walked upstairs and headed towards the door you saw Jim and Medina grabbing their bikes to ride to school - “do you guys want a ride?” You asked

“If you don’t mind” Medina squinted her eyes from the sun as she looked at you

“Yeah - please” Jim said as he walked towards your car

You unlocked the doors and Jim got in the passenger seat of y/car, Medina got in the back seat

“Thanks again y/n” she spoke softly

You smiled at her through the rearview mirror - you just wished she wasn’t so shy with you

You plugged your phone in for music and started to drive towards school - you got to school within 15 minutes which was early for you.

“Do you guys want a ride home after class too?” You asked as you parked

“Please” Medina nodded - she quickly got out of the car and walked towards her friends

“Yeah” Jim nodded

You both got out of the car at the same time walk separate ways. Jim didn’t acknowledge you at school for the rest of the day, it annoyed you how different and unflirty he was with you.

After class when the last bell rang you went to your locker as normal, and put your stuff away- you texted Medina and Jim letting them know you’d be a few minutes. When Amber and Vana walked up to their lockers(right beside yours) they wanted to know everything

“So what’s it like living with the Masons?” Vana raised a brow

“It's only been a day” you laughed

“Ugh fuck talking about that - so for tonight what are you wearing?” Amber asked

“Probably shorts and a tank, how about you guys?” You said as you put your backpack on -

“Y/n you gotta show a little - I heard Alex likes you” Vana teased

“Oh yeah right - I have eyes for someone else” you laughed

“No y/n Vana’s right, Heather heard that Alex was gonna invite you over after the party” Amber was trying to be serious

“Don’t pull my leg” you laughed

Both girls looked at you with a straight face

“I’ll see you guys tonight, you'll both be at Ambs?” You said as you turned to walk away

“Yeah - see you later!” They both said in sync

You walked quickly down the hall in hopes not to see Heather or Alex - they really annoyed you.

When you got to your car Jim and Medina we’re both patiently waiting for you - “sorry guys, my friends just wanted to talk” you quickly unlocked the doors.

The car ride home was silent again, you were thankful you had music to play though - when you got home, your dads car wasn’t in the drive away and no sign of Sandy anywhere - you went down to your room and picked out your clothes for tonight - placing them on your bed neatly.

Jim came down and knocked on your open door “you told me to knock right” he smiled

“Hi” you said coldly not caring

“Smoke?” Jim questioned as he held up a joint

“Why not” you stood up from your vanity

Jim lit the joint and inhaled, he nodded his head as he exhaled “its good” he handed you the joint

You walked towards Jim, taking the joint - your fingers brushed against his - you inhaled deeply and tilted your head back as you blew out the smoke. Jim and you sat in your room smoking - something about being with him comforted you, this joint hit you harder and faster than last time, your head went fuzzy, and your palms went calmly-

“I don’t know if I ever told you, but your so fucking hot” Jim’s voice was low - his eyes were glossy

“Wait what?” You were caught off guard-

Jim leaned towards you - his lips ghosting over yours - he placed his forehead against yours. You tilted your head up slightly - your lips meeting his - kissing gently, Jim’s lips parted slightly biting at your bottom lip. Jim’s tongue swiped against your bottom lip begging for entrance - you parted your lips, kissing Jim with an open mouth, his tongue massages against your tongue, you let out small moan into Jim’s mouth -

Jim pulled back from the kiss, a small trail of saliva trailed from your lips, his eyes were hazy as he started back at you -

[caiuscassiuss]

Birched⎮D. Sicheng (M) P.2

Description: There was something that lurked beneath that pretty boy smile of Dong Sicheng— something dark, something dangerous… something you knew you would get pulled into once you got too curious. (Or, your ill-tempered coworker turns out to be your dominant.)

Part One is HERE 

Genre: BDSM/ enemies to lovers winwin! smut | romance | angst WC: 11k+ Warnings: graphic smut (dom! sicheng + sub! reader, BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Submission, and Masochism) choking, rough sex), taboo relationship, blatant sexism, TW: mentions of an abusive relationship

(A/N: Thank you to my amazing beta @won-markiepooh-woo​ for helping me. This wouldn’t have been possible without you!)

Saturday February 1st, 2020

Y/N’s Apartment

10 AM HKT

The little jingle of a FaceTime call echoed through your silent apartment, and you snuggled into the sheets of your bed.

“Hello? Kun huang?”

A flash black hair and a sweet smile appeared within the view of the camera.

“Huang Gua!” you exclaimed.

Instantly, the happy smile slipped off his face and transformed into an annoyed expression.

“Can you not? We’ve been over this,” he complained.

“Oh come on! It’s so funny,” you jibed.

“It’s not.”

“You only used to eat cucumbers for years. You earned that name yourself.”

“So?” he snorted. “You used to eat shrimp chips as a kid. I don’t call you shrimp, do I?” A devious expression flashed over his face.

“Kun Huang…” you warned.

“Maybe I should start now. Right, shrimp?”

“Oh my god, stop!”

“No, shrimp. I can keep going, you know.”

“Okay, fine, fine. I submit!” You laughed.

He chuckled. “That’s what I thought.”

“So how are you now, Hendery? How’s your mom and dad? Oh my gosh, Hengwai!”

“I’m doing fine, as are mom and dad. Hengwai misses her little sister. They all want you to call them more. Sometimes I think they miss you more than me.” He pouted.

“Awww, poor baby. But give them my well wishes too! I miss everyone so much,” you said. For some reason, tears welled in your eyes.

Obviously, Hendery could tell you were about to start crying and started to panic.

“Y/N? Talk to me. Oh, you know I can’t take it if you start crying!”

He never really could. Even after many years spent together in your childhood, he was still awkward as hell around your tears.

You waved him off, swiping the tears. “I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s just so lonely around here.”

“Y/N…”

“I’m fine! I swear!”

“Literally, one word and I’m on a flight to Hong Kong. I’m not playing,” he said gravely.

“Hendery, no. Besides, don’t you have some farms to run? I would never expect you to do that.”

“One word, Y/N. Just one.” He looked you dead in the eye. 

You looked away. “Anyways, how are your farms going?”

A smile split his face and his eyes sparked. “Guess who just got their hundredth farm?”

Your jaw dropped. “No way, you’re fucking joking! One hundred?! I’m so proud of you! Kun Huang!” you squealed.

“Yeah, I know right? It’s so weird knowing so many people depend on me for their livelihoods now. I get sort of scared when I sit back and think about it…”

As Kun Huang went on about his day to day troubles in agriculture, a small, wistful smile played upon your lips. Why didn’t you just stay back and fall in love with Kun Huang? It would have been so easy. Being with Kun Huang was like breathing, and you could’ve spent the rest of your life like this. No Minghao, no BDSM, and most importantly, no… him.

Dolos.

Master?

Sicheng.

You hated how smoothly the puzzle pieces fit together. Sicheng always left early on Fridays, even though he always stayed late. At office parties, he lacked a significant other by his side, even when many would drop everything if he so much as winked at them.

It was hard not to think about him. You had started to feel an increase in your heartbeat whenever you thought of Dolos before Wednesday. You had originally wanted to know who was behind Dolos’ mask and if he returned those feelings. But, fuck, he would be so mad if he found out who you were.

Not to mention, how humiliating it would be if he knew. You had staked everything on being a cold-hearted bitch when Sicheng took particular pleasure in sneering at “the inherent submissiveness” of her gender. So if he found out Dove, who liked to be slapped during sex, and her, the la dame sans merci of the company, were the same person, it would destroy any chance of credibility you may have had in his eyes.

This was all one big mess. One big, gigantic and catastrophic mess. For so long you had rigorously kept your professional and personal lives apart, but the universe had conspired against you: to make the best dominant you ever had to also be your work nemesis.

Some higher being was laughing at you, you knew it.

Sunday February 2nd, 2020

The Dong Family Villa on the Shek O Peninsula, Hong Kong

1 PM HKT

A curl of disgust twisted his lips as he looked down on the lawn party going down below him. 

“Don’t you look happy, Sicheng.”

Sicheng acknowledged ChengCheng out of the corner of his eye and went back to glaring at the party in contempt.

“This is not how I wanted today to go.”

His childhood friend snorted and plopped himself down in a lawn chair, contemplating the blond haired man.

Sicheng spun around and picked up his glass of wine, downing the drink in one gulp. He settled himself next to ChengCheng with a frown.

“I just wanted to come here and fucking relax, but, no, my parents just had to use it for the fucking party. Fete. What-fucking-ever.” He exhaled loudly and ran his hands through his hair. 

Chengcheng looked over the balcony railing curiously. “Looks like a luncheon to me.”

“Fuck off.” 

“Christ, what’s up your ass?”

“Just some work stuff. It’s nothing.”

The brown-haired man frowned. “Then why aren’t you at Black’s then? Nothing can’t be resolved by a good fuck.”

At the mention of the club, a pained expression flashed over Sicheng’s face and his knuckles inadvertently tightened around the stem of his glass. The tension that had been in shoulders wounded itself up even more and this clued ChengCheng in.

Something other than work had Sicheng in knots. Very rarely did the blond man ever show he was angry—not even when his father lashed him as a child, nor when the family forced him to work for the company—so he was evidently very troubled by this ‘something’.

Sicheng’s phone rang and broke the silence. The man himself fished it out of his back pocket irritatedly.

“Excuse me for a moment, ChengCheng. I need to take this phone call.”

“Sicheng speaking,” he spoke as he stalked into the study.

“Hello sir, how are you—”

“Did you get the information or not?” Sicheng asked, cutting off the family’s retainer. His leg bounced, as he sat against the desk and he ran a weary hand through his hair.

“A-ah, unfortunately, Black’s doesn’t record pseudonyms digitally or on paper…”

“Fuck!” Sicheng yelled. Mr. Lau just had to be fucking careful, he thought irritably.

“... However, sir, I was able to obtain a membership list since the club was digitally updating their monthly list. I then compared it to the list from the previous month and found several missing names, indicative of them terminating their membership. I have compiled a dossier of several females that match your description of Dove and forwarded it to you.” 

Sicheng quickly logged into his laptop, his blood rushing through his ears. The identity of the most perfect submissive he’s ever had could literally be sitting in his inbox right now.

With trembling fingers, he opened the attachment.

Wang Fang, age 25—

“Sir?”

The blond man glared at his phone. “Thank you for your service, Liu Wei. Goodbye.”

Wang Fang was a tall, spindly woman with a face like a horse. The policy of privacy by masks was kind to her at Black’s. However, the jaw was all wrong and he knew in his gut she was not his Dove.

He scrolled to the next page. Leila Williams, age 27—British expat, was absolutely gorgeous. But, even through the screen, she exuded an unshakable aura of self-assurance. A dominatrix, probably, so that excluded her from his search.

He went through 2 or 3 more documents; each one too plain or too ordinary to be Dove.

Y/N L/N, age XX.

Sicheng blinked rapidly, sagging into his office chair.

Y/N is—was—a member at Black’s?

The picture provided was the one from her LinkedIn profile: a professional headshot with a grey background. She was smiling tightly, coldly—just as she was in the office. The other image provided instantly tented his pants.

It was her, clearly on a night out. She was in attire that flattered her body and he could easily see himself running his hands over her. Y/N looked fucking fantastic with her unbound hair, so unlike her tight updos at the office. However, what drew his eyes was the most vibrant shade of red painted on her lips, which was parted slightly as she was laughing.

He recognized that lipstick. The same shade of firetruck red had been smeared across Dove’s cheeks many, many times. YSL Rouge Satin Lipstick—the one he told her he liked and she, like a good girl, had religiously worn.

Could that mean…?

Glancing at the side bar, he noticed there was one more page left in the dossier. Please let the next one be Dove…

His hopes were instantly deflated. Kwon Myunghee was too old and too artificial to be his gorgeous submissive.

With his heart in his throat, he scrolled back to Y/N’s page. Enlarging the picture of her laughing, he put a hand over her eyes and leaned back to observe.

Sicheng would be an absolute fool if he did not recognize that mouth. Red fuck me! lipstick on an equally fuckable mouth parted in pleasure, or screaming his name while strung up on a cross. He would be an absolute fool if he did not recognize that neck, covered in purple and red hickies or his fingermarks. An absolute damn fool.

Yet, at this moment, he would’ve given anything to be one.

He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. Y/N was… Dove? And Dove… was Y/N?

So why did she leave? How did she end up at Black’s? Did she know? Did she end up there on purpose? Why—

Eventually, all the questions piled up in his head until he was left winded. Sicheng buried his head in his hands, pulling at his blond locks and breathing heavily. Something was bubbling in his chest and—

He started to laugh. He cackled, howled, at his shitstorm of misfortune, luck, and confusion until he was sprawled undignified on the Oriental carpet, staring up at the intricate wood carvings on the ceiling.

Monday February 3rd, 2020

Sinochen Enterprises, Chater House, Central, Hong Kong

6 PM HKT

Shutting the door to your office, you collapsed into your chair and massaged your temples.

Today was the day Mr. Lee had left the office, leaving his official resignation. The top sales officials (including an off-color, brooding Sicheng) gathered in his office to congratulate him and give him an official goodbye. What was supposed to be a quick meet-up turned into afternoon drinking when Mr. Lee pulled out the good liquor from a secret cabinet underneath his desk. You accepted a drink with a grimace, but Sicheng declined and remained uncharacteristically detached the entire time. Granted, you too were detached from the conversation, uncomfortable with the lewd retirement and mistress jeers spouted by the older sales officials as they steadily got drunker and less inhibited.

As the time ended and a consensus to leave had been reached, you thought you could escape and actually work... that was until Mr. Lee walked alongside you and stuck himself in the elevator with you.

The bastard had the audacity to grope your ass in the crowded elevator. You shivered, remembering the awful and grimy feeling as his hot breath whispered in your ear that he was available any time for a “catch-up”.

This day was a mess. You had a shit-ton of work to catch up due to that fucking meeting and you had been sexually harrassed; you were also anxious about the promotion and, on top of that, you couldn’t seem to stop thinking about Sicheng.

Huffing, you ate some red-bean bread as you powered up your desktop. This was fucking ridiculous. You knew Sicheng had noticed your odd, reticent behavior around him and this skittishness was impeding your ability to work. Well, no better way to forget about your problems was to solve other ones at work.

For the next two hours, you slogged through work emails and analytics as the sun set over Kowloon Bay. Your hair had been unbound and your blazer had been messily thrown over the back of your chair as your work progressed. Since most of the office had left by now, you figured it was safe to relax in your office.

It was night time by the time you had finished your last project and you sat back in your chair, staring at the skyline. Was this how your life destined to be? At the top, surrounded by the comforts of life, but alone?

A knock sounded at the door, jolting you out of your thoughts.

Who the fuck would be at the office at 8 PM?

“Come in.”

You caught sight of a golden head of hair slipping inside of your office and you sighed. Of course, it was Sicheng.

He took a seat unbidden and stared at you with an indecipherable expression on his face. His eyes roamed the contours and curves of your features.

You arched an eyebrow. “Can I help you with anything, Sicheng? I’m about to leave the office.”

He fought with himself inwardly, his mouth opened and closed several times before he finally settled on what he wanted to say. “I’d like to ask a question.”

You adjusted yourself in the chair. “Feel free.”

From his blazer’s pocket, he pulled out an aged sheet of paper and slowly opened it, before setting it in front of you. Sicheng settled back in his chair and steepled his fingers over his lap, the lights of the Hong Kong skyline playing across his face and making his sharp features stand out.

“Do you recognize this?”

The blood literally froze in your veins as your eyes caught sight of your handwriting in the letter, along with the tear-stains that blotched the paper and the text. Your heartbeat rose to your throat and all you felt was the blood rushing in your ears.

“Y/N?” he prodded.

You gulped and straightened out your top, your fingers trembling as you did so.

“No, I don’t. W-who’s Dolos? Why does this concern me?” you lied, stumbling a bit.

He watched you, his eyes narrowed and his lips pursed.

“Don’t lie to me, Dove.”

“I-Dove? My name is Y/N,” you replied shakily. Grabbing your purse, you hurriedly stuffed all your personal belongings in while avoiding catching his seething stare. “Excuse me, I’d really like to get home.”

His jaw clenched and his palm twitched as he saw you had no desire to come clean.

“Look at me.”

Unthinking, you ceased all movements, put your trembling hands in your lap and looked up at him. “Sir?”

Your eyes widened and you slapped a hand over your mouth; your eyes darted around the room in search for an escape. You felt akin to a caged animal as he grinned meanly, incongruous on his cherubic features.

“That’s what I thought.”

“No—”

“You thought you could get away with this? You thought you could fucking play me?!”

You were aghast at seeing Dolos and Sicheng finally merging together in front of your eyes, and the result was grotesquely beautiful. His grin slipped off his face and twisted into a malevolent sneer. The naked fire in Dolos' gaze was finally unveiled in Sicheng’s eyes and, for the first time, you could see who Sicheng really was.

“Answer me, Dove—Y/N! Fuck, I don’t even know who you are anymore!” Sicheng shouted, running his hands through his hair while he paced around your office.

You stared unblinkingly at the bookshelf at the corner of the room. Fuck, this was all your nightmares coming true. You were going to be ruined and he was going to laugh on and on now that he knew you and Dove were the same.

“It was never supposed to end up like this,” you whispered hoarsely, tears welling up underneath your lashes.

“How was it supposed to end, huh? Fuck, you strung me along for six months—half a fucking year—”

“I didn’t fucking know, you ass! I wouldn’t have touched you with a ten foot pole if I knew who you were!” you hissed.

He laughed harshly. “You did a hell of a lot more than touch me, Dove. But after you got your fix, you pretended that this never happened.”

“You would’ve done the same, so this never did happen. Walk out right now and this will have never happened and we can go back to our normal, spiteful dynamic—”

“You’re out of your fucking mind, if you think—”

“You don’t understand, Sicheng! Can’t you see I’ll be ruined by this? That we’ll both be ruined by this? I can’t afford that!”

“So you thought to just leave me? With just a fucking letter and nothing else?”

“I didn’t know, okay! I didn’t know what to do!”

“You lied to me, Y/N. Fucking lied to my face!”

“I had to! Because you and I were never supposed to find out!”

Sicheng moved to yell, but clamped his jaw shut. “You lying, cheating, slut,” he seethed.

Your mouth trembled for a moment at the sheer vitriol that sprouted from his lips, but you stood tall. “You know what? Maybe I am. But I can live with that if you’d just fucking let it go!”

“You think I’d be able to let go of this?!” He cupped your jaw roughly and pulled you into a hungry kiss.

It wasn’t a smooth kiss—not one with even a hint of finesse. Lips smashed into lips, with tongue and teeth grappling against each other as his hands bruised your wrists.

Your back hit your desk and he swept your belongings off the desk haphazardly, letting go of your chin to lift you onto the desk with no effort.

“Forget my tongue on your skin? Forget my hands in between your thighs?” he murmured between hungry dips of his tongue. “I’ll fucking show you.”

He kissed down your neck, stopping to nip at your collarbone, and left a trail of stinging lovebites all over your shoulders. Sicheng’s hips pinned you into the desk as he popped each button of your blouse, hurriedly ripping it to the side to leave more hickies upon your chest and breasts.

You moaned as he pushed the cups of your bra down, using his wicked tone to swipe complicated patterns but never once touching your tips. Finally, he nipped at them hard causing you to squeal embarrassingly.

“S-sicheng,” you whimpered, gripping his hair as he pushed up your skirt.

The blond man carelessly pulled your underwear aside and thrusted two fingers in.

“Fuck!” you gasped, as you buried your red face in the crook of his neck.

You couldn’t see it, but you knew he was smirking smugly so your hands drifted down to his tented trousers and gripped his erection hard.

“You wanna fucking play? Let’s play, baby,” he grunted and hastily unbuckled his belt. His glorious cock sprung up in the space between your thighs.

Sicheng pushed your back down onto the desk, leaving him to tower over you. Without warning, he roughly pushed his cock into your slit.

You both groaned at the pleasurable friction. Fuck, how could you forget this? His length stretching you out deliciously? His broad shoulders heaving in exertion?

He bottomed out slowly, stilling as his hips pressed into yours. A sly smile glanced over his face as his hand drifted over your neck.

“Sicheng! You asshole, fucking move!” you said to him, thrusting your own hips weakly for effect.

His devilish smile split his angelic features, and he shook his head. “Wrong name, Dove.”

His hips pushed into yours roughly and you whined, scratching at the edges of your desk. Sicheng withdrew just as quickly and thrusted in again, watching the lust ripple upon your expression. He had missed the way your left eyebrow ticked when he brushed against your G-Spot, your nose scrunching as you clasped his shoulders. Finally seeing your full expressions fulfilled something in him that he didn’t care to reflect upon.

After deep, staccato thrusts that had you gasping for breath, he settled into a smooth rhythm. You slapped a hand over your mouth as your back bowed, thrusting your breasts up to his hungry perusal. Unable to resist temptation—the godless Tantalus he was—he settled his plump lips over your nipples, raised his eyes to yours, and sucked.

Even with your palm practically stuffed in your lips, your keen echoed around the room loudly and slick dripped down your thighs, making the desk underneath your bottom sticky and wet.

He tsked, lifting his head up and looked deeply into your eyes. A slight grin settled over his lips and Sicheng tilted his head mockingly. “Oh sweet girl, haven’t you forgotten we’re in an office?” His eyes darkened even more. “I’ll have to keep you quiet, then, whore.”

His featherlight touches on your rib cage was replaced with a bruising grasp to your throat, stealing the air out of you. His wrist settled into your collar bone and his slender fingers mimicked playing the piano, placing pressure on different parts on your throat to an unheard rhythm. The blood rushed to your ears, the dizzying sensation of it blurring your sight and distorting your thoughts. The veins on his forehand, twisting and rippling in the light, caught your vision and he moved—ever so roughly—into you.

Sicheng set a new pace, stretching your legs even wider and your head fell back onto the desk with a thunk. You couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe; you just felt the numbing sort of pleasure that radiated from your pussy.

“Fucking slut,” he gasped. “You’ve bewitched me, haven’t you? Wrapped yourself around my brain and haven’t let me so much as breathe without thinking about you.” His grip tightened around your neck. “I’ll show you.”

Suddenly, your phone on the floor rang and you both froze. He released the grip on your neck and bent down.

His back was like one of those old sketches the masters of the age practiced with, the light played upon his back and his muscles rippled under his skin—belying the power hidden within him.

“Who the fuck is Kunhuang,” he said flatly, wrath bubbling in his words.

You sat up. “H-he’s a friend. Nobody. No one.” 

“See you soon, love,” he read mockingly. “Call me when you have time.”

Sicheng crowded into your space, your eyes jumping around to avoid looking at his incensed face.

“Kunhuang.” He spat like it was filth upon his lips. “You left me for him?”

Feeling his constrained fierceness and his frantic gaze, you pushed harshly at his chest and bared your teeth at him. “It’s not like that. He’s my childhood friend!”

His rage bubbled to the surface and his nostrils flared. It was all the warning you had before he suddenly took your hips and flipped, forcing a scream out of you.

Your chest and breasts now pressed against your desk. Sicheng tugged you down to his hips, lifting one of your legs to rest on your desk and exposed your core to him shamefully. 

“I’ll take you from behind like the whore you are,” he stated. His rough tenor the grating upon your ears and scraping upon your skin.

He lined up and thrusted hard and you bit your lip, cheek against your deck and tears streaming down your face. It felt so good to be in his embrace, feeling every vein and ridge of his cock rub against your muscles.

Soon, you felt that feeling rising in your stomach, burning behind his eyelids as your orgasm began to build. His hands grasped your throat and he pulled, bowing your back to his chest and forcing his mouth to yours.

Teeth and tongue clashed and his cock hit this spot in you and you screamed into his mouth, tensing up beneath him as you shuddered painfully.

A grunt left him as he felt your muscles nearly strangle his cock and he only lasted a few, staccato thrusts until his vision went white.

Wednesday, February 13th, 2020

Sinochen Enterprises, Chater House, Central, Hong Kong

7 AM HKT

You purposely did not look into Sicheng’s office window as you strode briskly down the hall with a coffee in your hand. 

A few days ago felt like a watershed moment, but after you two had caught your breaths, the sheer amount of emotions in the room—frustration, satiation, anger, hunger—weighed upon your lips and forced them shut. He had quickly dressed himself, not saying a word, but he casted a glance in your direction that was undecipherable and left.

You, at the moment, did not know how to feel. Hurt? Angry? Sad? But you settled upon your usual solution: ignoring that anything had happened and resuming the normal.

Alas, the fates were unkind. They neatly disposed of your plans to avoid the man when the two of you were scheduled to meet with other sales heads in the afternoon. Unfortunately, when the time came to be, you and Sicheng were the first ones there.

He studiously avoided looking at you, busying himself by opening up his laptop and flipping to a new page on his legal pad. You ignored him as well, scrolling through the latest news on your webpage. However, as the seconds ticked by, you could not resist resting your eyes upon him. It felt like a damn magnet was pulling your gaze to him.

He looked good today, from the brief glances you stole at him. Freshly shaven, his hair was styled neatly and he was in a dark green, cashmere sweater. Was this your fate? To be shamefully attracted to a man that equally repelled you?

“Interesting.”

The both of you shot a look at the door, where an unrecognizable, lanky man with a proud, straight nose was peering down upon you and swinging a plastic bag in his hand.

“Chengcheng? What the hell are you doing here?”

Completely ignoring Sicheng, he settled his lidded gaze upon you before his eyes lit up in recognition.

“So you’re the one that has shaken him, then.”

Dead silence permeated the room. He looked at the two shocked faces, both ashen. “What? Are you going to tell me I’m wrong? Please. I’d have to be deaf, blind, and dumb to ignore the way you two gravitate to each other.”

Your two quick glances that were meant to be unnoticed clashed, resulting in your eyes meeting. You both turned your eyes away.

Chengcheng snorted, as if that moment confirmed everything for him, and he chucked a bag at Sicheng.

“You forgot your lunch, remember?”

Sicheng’s jaw tightened. “Thank you.”

Once again, awkward silence reigned and ChengCheng’s eyes switched back and forth between you like a particularly exciting tennis match.

“You two need to talk. You’ll both age prematurely at this rate, with the angst you two are producing. Talk.”

He left with a wave, striding down the hall casually and stealing many of your female coworkers’ gazes.

“... He’s right, you know.”

Sicheng’s eyes flicked up to yours and he focused his full attention on you. Intensely, he contemplated you, tongue poking at the sides of his mouth.

“I agree. We can meet—” he cut himself off, looking around surreptitiously. “—at Black’s.”

You sucked your lip in between your teeth. “Fine. Neutral ground.”

He took a good, long look at you, like a man seeing water after seeing nothing but sand. 

“Tonight. At 8.”

Thursday, February 13th, 2020

Black’s

7:50 PM HKT

Strangely enough, you felt comfortable despite the jittery nerves under your skin as you walked into Black’s. 

The receptionist had given you a knowing look as you repeated the guest password, letting you in without question. You strapped on the standard, white lace mask and steeled yourself, opening the mahogany doors.

The club was abnormally busy; the guests and members crowded the couches and loitered on the floor. The quiet string music that could usually be heard was masked by the loud chattering of the people in the room.

“Is that you, Dove?”

You spun around to see the smiling, wizened face of Mr. Liu.

A grin broke out on your face and you took his hands. “Mister Liu! It is wonderful to see you.”

“I am happy to see you as well.” He chuckled with his eyes gleaming fondly at you. “Have you decided to visit this old man?”

Playfully, you lightly smacked his shoulder.

Mr. Liu was an important figure to you. All those months ago, when you arrived at Black’s to be screened, as a potential member and straight out of a relationship with Minghao—broken, shattered, hollow—he took one look at you and said no.

Why? You remembered asking tearfully. Am I not pretty enough? Rich enough?

He searched your pale, wan face, as if seeing the emotional scars Minghao had lashed into you, before sighing.

You shouldn’t be asking me that. Are you enough for yourself?

Confused, you had asked him to elaborate. He sympathetically replied that he could see you were entering the club for the wrong reasons. You were different, he’d said. You looked so innocent that he could not morally allow you into the club, despite the depraved patrons that gained membership. He knew, at the time, entering the club would cripple you.

So, what now? You asked, confused. He said he would keep your file open until you came back ‘at the right time.’

The ‘right time?’

You will know it when it comes.

And somehow, you did. After a few months of picking the pieces of yourself together and stabilizing your life, you had grown into a physically and emotionally healthy person. The “right moment” came and you sat in his quaint little office again, opposite of a smiling Mr. Liu as he stamped his approval.

After chatting a few moments, the volume in the room increased slightly and you frowned.

“Why is it so busy today?”

He arched an eyebrow. “Do you know what today is?”

“No?”

“Today is the evening before Valentine’s day, dear girl.”

“... Oh.”

New information in hand, you looked at the scene more closely. You could see that some couples in the crowd seemed to curl into each other, the affectionate brushes and knowing glances giving you a sick, sick feeling.

And that’s when you saw Sicheng.

Even masked, he drew attention from the members—attached and non-attached. His lean, fit form struck a figure and you couldn’t turn away from him.

He looked directly into your eyes and only a few seconds passed by as you two observed each other.

“Sicheng somehow found out, hm? Clever, devious boy.” Mr. Liu observed the dynamic much like ChengCheng earlier. His gaze was enraptured how the two of you clashed yet sunk into each other, the way two tidal waves—in a rare moment of offbeat rhythm—struck each other and subsequently merged. Push, pull, push, pull.

“Listen to him and he will listen to you. You two match more than you think,” he advised, bowed, and sunk off into the backrooms.

“Sicheng.”

“Y/N.”

Frustratingly, his face was unreadable. Nevertheless, he offered you his arm (a surprising show of manners) and he led you to a place you had never seen before.

This place was much less pristine than the rest of the club. The wallpaper was older, much more faded, and the wood looked much more worn.

This was one of Mr. Liu’s apartments.

The pair of you entered a comfortable sitting room with the lights low, to which only large candles had been lit.

He made sure you were properly ensconced into an armchair before he turned his back towards you and made his way to the drink carts.

“Would you like something to drink?” Sicheng asked, voice measured.

“A gin tonic would be wonderful.”

After carefully making your drink and pouring himself a healthy 4 fingers of bourbon, he handed your glass to you and sat down in the chair opposite of you.

Silence permeated awkwardly and you turned your eyes towards the tapestry in the middle of the room, giving yourself something to do.

“Were those feelings true?” he asked, not looking at you.

“Elaborate, please.”

“The last night…” He looked quickly at you, before turning his eyes away and clenching his jaw. “The last night we were together.”

“Ah.”

Absolutely, unequivocally. Dolos was everything you had searched for in Minghao and, while your relationship was unusual, you could not deny the string between you two.

Something burned at your eyes and you bit the inside of your cheek.

“Yes. Then and now,” you stated, opening yourself up for an attack.

His eyes widened and the twitching in his fingers stopped.

“And you, Sicheng?” you enquired boldly.

“Always,” he stated without hesitation. “It was never something as trivial as pillow talk.”

Seeing as he was on the brink of closing off, due to his rare moment of vulnerableness, you wrapped your hand around his.

His eyes shot to yours, then to your linked hands, before tightening his grip.

“I don’t know where to start,” you confessed. “I… One thing that has always been on my mind—why did you dislike me so much?”

He smiled bitterly. “Sometimes, I forget that you don’t see the way I see you. You are a smart, dauntless woman, who’s pushed all my buttons. It all just built and built upon each other until I found you—Dove—here.” He pauses. “I projected my frustrations onto Dove—you—here. But never, for a moment, doubt my feelings aren’t genuine.”

You pursed your lips. “Forgive me, but I cannot accept your accusations of me being the office slut—very rude, by the way—were without malice. You constantly pushed me down, clashed with me in the workplace and you were just plain classist.”

Sicheng’s eyes were casted down, but his grip was steady. “I will not lie. Those words I spat at you were with malice. But now, in retrospect, they were nothing more but words of immature frustration that I channeled towards you. I know that I cannot take them back and they will forever linger in the air between us, but I can apologize and recognize those words were completely unacceptable.”

He angled his body fully towards you and clasped your hand in both of his. “I am sorry for my actions. My anger was misplaced and the sentiments do not represent me anymore. I am sorry and I hope you can forgive me.”

“And then what? What do you want now, Sicheng?” An edge of desperation tinged your voice.

He smiled bitterly at you. “Everyday, the smell of you lingers and I, like Pavlov’s dog, cannot help but feel an ache in the marrow of my bones when I see your crimson red lips. Every night, when I go to bed, you are seared across the back of my eyelids and I cannot escape you, even in my dreams.” He paused. “I want you, or whatever scraps you’re willing to toss me.”

A sharp exhale left you nose and you blinked rapidly. “I don’t want to get hurt. You get off on hurting people.”

“With your consent.”

“Say I want a completely vanilla relationship,” you challenged. He didn’t flinch. “What about then?”

Sicheng clenched his jaw and held your gaze fiercely. “Anything.”

“I hate that you are all I’ve wanted in a man,” you admitted unwillingly. He hummed. “Will we be each other’s destruction? Or will we be each other’s maker?” you pondered nonsensically.

“Aren’t we already both?” he retorted.

Slowly, without releasing his hand, you rose from your chair and lowered yourself into his lap. His eyes traced your every movement. For a few, brief moments, you looked into each other’s eyes without the obsurance of a mask or the encumbrance of a workplace rivalry. Your left hand cupped his cheekbone and stroked the skin underneath his eye.

“This will be interesting,” you said.

He gave no sign of reaction, but tilted his head into your palm and closed his eyes. “After us, the flood,” he recited.

Monday, March 2nd, 2020

Sinochen Enterprises, Chater House, Central, Hong Kong

7:50 PM HKT

A secret grin tugged at your lips as you looked across the table at Sicheng, who was intensely focused on the presentation your coworker was giving. Perhaps he’d felt the weight of your gaze on him as he chanced a glance at you and gave you a small smirk.

The past month in your relationship with Sicheng was equally fulfilling and frustrating. There were times where both of you deliberately looked for a fight or misinterpreted each other, but there were also times you could shed your layers and just be yourselves with the other.

Even each fight, where you or Sicheng stormed out, or broke things, you came back to each other at the end. Pushing, pulling, pushing, pulling relentlessly. The flood, indeed.

You focused back in on the meeting and contributed to the smatter of clapter for the end of your coworker’s presentation. As he turned off the projector and people stood up to leave,  Xiao Daiyu—the interim head of the Sales department—stopped you and Sicheng.

“Y/N, Sicheng, please stay back for a moment. I’d like to talk to you about Mr. Lee’s replacement.”

You and Sicheng glanced at each other and you sat back down. A while ago, you had both agreed the decision wasn’t going to break the quiet relationship you had built. It was going to be sour. You knew, when someone was chosen, things could get messy and awkward. But this… this was too good.

Daiyu sat down and put her hands together. “After much decision and going through your interviews, the CEO has stepped in and we are sorry to say neither of you are getting the position.”

You jerked your head around to Sicheng and he did the same—wild confusion and anger in both of your eyes. Both your years of loyalty and dedication are being passed over?

“Instead, we have decided to hire outside the company for some fresh intake. He may be young, but it comes to us that he’s highly recommended and would fit in with our culture well.”

A sour feeling came to your stomach and you narrowed your eyes, resisting the urge to frown. They had decided to hire outside the company? This is how they decide to reward their workers? This was betrayal.

Glancing over, you could see Sicheng felt the same. His right hand grasped the arm of the chair tightly and you could see his knuckles turning white.

“I’d like to meet him and he’s coming—” She took a glance at her watch. “—right about now.”

A knock came from the door and a head of messy black hair peaked into the room.

“Daiyu laoban, great to see you.”

No. This could not be happening to you.

The wire glasses. The tall, lanky frame that filled the doorway. The almond shaped eyes hiding behind pitch-black hair, as black his shriveled little heart.

Daiyu, like the little bitch she was, giggled. “Y/N, Sicheng, please meet your new Sales Head: Xu Minghao.”

His eyes focused on you and your world suddenly felt tilted, careening sideways while the nausea hit you all at once.

“Nice to meet you,” he said cheerfully.

You could feel Sicheng’s concern radiating from him at your ashen face and look of shock, but you couldn't even think as flashes of blood and tears and pain shuddered throughout your body.

His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m pleased to be working with you!”

(”After us, the flood” or “Aprés nous, le deluge” is an expression from Madame Pompadour, King Louis XV’s lover.)

And it’s finished. Thank you. Please don’t forget to read, comment, and reblog. I love you all and goodbye.

[btsqualityy]

We’ll Be Okay

Jimin x Reader

Genre: Major Angst, fluff, established couple 

Warnings: miscarriage, description of a medical procedure (it’s kind of vague though), grieving parents

“That’s not a plus sign, is it?”

“What the hell else would it be, a cross on a pregnancy test?”

“Wahh,” Jimin gasped, looking up at you with wide eyes as he clutched both of the pregnancy tests in his hand. “You’re pregnant again jagi.”

“Let me see,” you demanded, reaching out and plucking both tests out of his hand. When you held them up, there was a clear ‘plus’ sign on the face of both tests. “Wow.”

“Aren’t you excited?” Jimin asked, his smile slightly dropping from your reaction. “We both agreed to try for another baby.”

“I know we did, but it’s literally only been two months,” you chuckled in disbelief. A loud cry sounded from Sydney’s nursery, so you set both tests down on the bathroom counter and walked out of the bathroom, with Jimin following close behind. 

“Jagi, we’re both still young and have never had any fertility issues so there’s no reason why it wouldn’t have worked,” Jimin pointed out, watching as you walked over to Sydney’s crib and picked her up, cradling her against your chest. 

“I know, but I’m still shocked,” you shrugged. “I mean, Syd just turned one three months ago and it’ll be a lot to handle three kids under five.”

“So what? Do you not want it?” Jimin wondered and you immediately shook your head.

“Of course I want it, I’m just nervous,” you admitted. Sydney then lifted her head from your neck, reaching out towards her father. 

“And that’s ok,” he assured you as he took Sydney from you, lifting her up and setting her on his hip. “But you’re not gonna be alone Y/N-ah, I’ll be right here with you the entire time.”

“I know,” you nodded, smiling fondly as you watched Sydney snuggle up to him. “Seeing you with them is what makes me want more babies with you, because you’re amazing.”

“Ditto jagi,” he smiled. “And hey, look at it this way: at least you got to find out like a normal person and not by fainting this time.”

“That’s definitely a highlight of this pregnancy,” you laughed, making Jimin do the same. 

“I got you, ok?” He whispered and you nodded. “We’ll be okay.”

............................

“So, I see we’re expecting another little Park,” your doctor smiled as she walked into the examination room where you and Jimin were waiting. 

“Yep,” you nodded with a grin, the nervousness having waned and been replaced with excitement over the month and some change that had passed since the positive pregnancy tests and your first doctor’s appointment. 

“Alright, let’s see what we have here then,” your doctor said, motioning for you to lay back. You did so, making sure to pull up the hem of your shirt a little so that your lower abdomen was showing. Your doctor grabbed the ultrasound gel, squirting a healthy amount onto your skin before grabbing the ultrasound wand and setting it on top. Jimin reached down and grabbed onto your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours as the both of you watched the screen for any sign of your small little baby. However, about two minutes passed without a word from your doctor. 

“How long ago did you take that pregnancy test Y/N?” Your doctor wondered.

“About a month ago,” you replied. “Plus another week.”

“And how many days late was your period before that?”

“Three weeks,” you answered with a raised brow. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just trying to make sure that I have this right,” she mumbled as she focused intently on the screen. “So, you’d be eight, almost nine weeks pregnant then.” 

“That sounds about right,” Jimin confirmed and your doctor sighed.

“The baby’s heartbeat isn’t exactly as strong as I’d expect it to be at this point in the pregnancy,” she admitted. 

“And what does that mean?” You asked. 

“I’m sorry you two, but I don’t think this pregnancy is going to make it to full-term,” your doctor said apologetically. “Of course, I’d like to run some more tests on you just to be sure, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you miscarried within the next few days.”

“But...what?” You chuckled in disbelief. “But I’ve been feeling great this time around. I haven’t even fainted like I did with my past two pregnancies.”

“I’m sorry Y/N, and Jimin, but sometimes these things just happen and there’s no real rhyme or reason to it,” your doctor told you. “I’d like to run those tests on you though so we can be sure, so I’ll go set that up now and give you two some time alone.” Your doctor bowed lightly before quickly excusing herself and walking out of the room and as soon as the door shut behind her, you sat up as tears began to stream down your face.

“Jimin-ssi,” you whimpered, turning to look at him and he just wrapped his arms around you, hugging your body tight to his. 

“I know,” he replied, feeling his eyes starting to become cloudy with tears as well. 

“I’ve been feeling fine, I swear!” You sobbed against his chest. “I would’ve said something if I weren’t!”

“I know baby, I know you would’ve,” Jimin soothed you. “We’ll be okay, though. I promise.”

............................

After getting more tests done, your doctor found that your HCG levels, which is a hormone produced by the placenta, were extremely low and this only confirmed your worst fears. You requested another ultrasound just to be sure, and your doctor found that the baby’s heartbeat was still just as slow as it had been earlier in the day, and had even slowed down more. 

At that point, you had to start to think about how you were supposed to mentally prepare yourself to miscarry your child, but you weren’t even able to leave the doctor’s office before the pain in your abdomen started up and you knew that it was the beginning of what would surely be one of the most painful experiences in your life. 

To be on the safe side, your doctor opted to admit you into the hospital rather than have you go home, so that she’d be able to keep an eye on you and your physical condition. Once you began to bleed, you and Jimin talked to each other and decided that it would best for you to have a dilation and curettage, or a D&C. This was so that you could be sure that the baby passed completely, and that there’d be no issues with any future pregnancies.

Once you had the procedure done and had gotten settled in your hospital room, Jimin crawled into the hospital bed with you and cuddled up to you as you both cried into each other’s arms. It was hands down the worst day of your life thus far; such a happy day turning into a nightmare in the blink of an eye. 

............................

“Mommy?” You heard a soft voice whisper and you opened your eyes to see Noah standing next to your side of the bed. “Are you ok?”

“Not really,” you replied honestly, doing your best to give him a small smile in order to make not him worry completely but you knew that he’d be able to see through it. 

“I thought so,” he said. “You’ve been in bed a lot, and you don’t usually do that like how uncle Yoongi does.”

“You’re right, I don’t,” you agreed, sitting up and scooting back so that your back was pressed against the headboard. “I’ve been really sad though, and so has Daddy.”

“Why? What happened?” Noah wondered and you sighed, the pain of the miscarriage still extremely fresh since it had only been about a week, but you figured that you could tell Noah in a way that was age appropriate. 

“Come here,” you said, holding your arms open and watching as he climbed up onto the bed, immediately snuggling into your side. “Well, Mommy was pregnant.”

“I’m gonna be a big brother again?” Noah gasped and you shook your head.

“Noah, the baby died and went to Heaven,” you explained and the smile immediately let Noah’s face, being replaced by a pout.

“I didn’t even get to see them first!” He exclaimed and you almost wanted to chuckle at how outraged he was.

“We didn’t get to see them either baby,” you told him. 

“Well, if the baby went to Heaven, then you should be happy right?” Noah questioned. “Because Heaven is a place that’s good.”

“I’m sad because the baby was still a baby, and they should’ve been down here with us, growing in my tummy for a while and then being born,” you explained to him. “Just like you and Sydney did.”

“But since it’s in Heaven, the baby can look over us, like the ancestors do,” Noah replied. “You know, like Daddy said.”

“Yeah, but I still miss them,” you sniffled, reaching up and wiping at your eyes before the tears that had been welling up could spill over.

“Can I cuddle you Mommy?” Noah asked and you nodded immediately.

“I’d love that Noey,” you smiled softly, watching as Noah wrapped his arms around you tighter and threw one of his legs over yours, the same way that Jimin does when he cuddles you.

............................

Three weeks later, you had been making an effort to try and get back to normal, or as close to it as you could manage. You still hadn’t gone back to work, but you weren’t staying in bed all day anymore and you had actually started doing things around the house and playing with the kids again, so you figured that it was a start. 

As for you and Jimin, the two of you hadn’t really been talking to each other much anymore these days. It wasn’t that you were purposely ignoring him, it was just that things felt a little tense between the two of you now, since neither of you had never been good at dealing with negative emotions. 

One morning, after dropping Noah off at school, you came back home and were greeted with the sounds of glass breaking. Pacing into the kitchen, you found it completely empty, which only further confused you. Taking a quick glance around, you saw that the back sliding door was opened and as you walked closer to it, the sound of glass breaking got louder so you knew that it was coming from there.

“What the hell are you doing?” You asked in surprise, making Jimin stop and turn towards the back porch, the sledgehammer in his hands falling to the ground. There were several large stacks of glass plates surrounding him, as well as several glass cups, bowls, and pitchers. 

“I’m breaking glass,” he shrugged, reaching down with a gloved hand, picking up a plate and chucking it against a nearby tree. You watched as it shattered once it came into contact with the bark, and you looked back at Jimin with a raised brow.

“I can see that, but why?” You pressed, walking away from the sliding door and down the steps of the back porch to walk over to him, maintaining a few feet of distance between the two of you since he was still throwing glass.

“I’m angry,” he huffed, picking up the sledgehammer again and swinging it over his shoulder, hitting a glass water pitcher. 

“About?”

“The baby,” he grit out. “I’m the one who even brought up having another baby, and then we fucking lost it. Makes me feel like a terrible husband.”

“Jimin, it wasn’t your fault,” you tried to convince him but he just scoffed loudly.

“If I hadn’t opened my big mouth, like I always fucking do, you wouldn’t have been pregnant in the first place,” he snapped, picking up a glass cup and throwing that against the tree as well. “So I’m doing this to release some anger because if I don’t, I’m gonna lose my damn mind.”

“Jimin, stop,” you called out.

“No,” he mumbled.

“Jimin, please,” you said more firmly, but he just ignored you as he threw the sledgehammer down again and began to pick up plates in both hands, throwing them at the tree with more force than he had been before. You waited until his hands were completely empty again before moving towards him, quickly setting both of your hands on his cheeks, which made him stop moving.

“Don’t do this to yourself,” you pleaded and his eyes softened considerably. “There wasn’t anything that either of us could’ve done.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Jimin chuckled ruefully. “Knowing that our child died and that we couldn’t do anything to prevent...it fucking hurts.”

“I know, I know,” you sighed. “But it happened and we have to figure out how to keep living our lives. No reason for us to lose one another in addition to the baby.”

“You’re right,” he huffed, reaching up and wiping his face free of the tears streaks that had stained his skin. “You wanna go soak in a bath, drink wine, and cry until Syd wakes up from her morning nap?”

“Yes please,” you nodded, reaching down and intertwining your fingers with his. “We’re gonna be okay eventually.”

“We will,” Jimin agreed, leaning forward and kissing you softly before turning around and leading you into the house. 

............................

“Alright Jagi, do you wanna say a few words?” Jimin asked as he straightened up from sticking the small granite headstone in the ground of your backyard. As a way to get more closure from loosing the baby, you and Jimin decided to have a little memorial service, with just the four of you present. The headstone was very simple, grey in color with an engraving that simply read “Baby Park. 2020-2020. Always Love and Always Missed.”. 

“Sure,” you nodded, handing Sydney off to him before stepping forward so that you were closer to the headstone. “I’m so sorry that you couldn’t stay here with us. I still somewhat feel like I failed you little one, but I also know that there’s nothing I could’ve done to keep you here with us. Regardless though, I’m always going to miss you and I love you so much.”

“I feel the same way as your Mommy,” Jimin spoke up. “I’ll always wonder who you would’ve looked like this time, me or Mommy. I’ll also wonder if you would’ve loved cuddles like your brother and sister, or if you would’ve loved music and dancing like they do. It sucks that I’ll always just have to wonder, but I love you very much and I’ll do my best to be patient and wait to ask you these questions years from now, when I see you again.”

“Mommy?” Noah called, reaching up and patting your thigh, and you looked down at him.

“Yeah Noey?”

“Can I say something too?” He asked and you nodded. “Hi Baby. It sucks that we didn’t get to meet you but we all love you a lot, even Sydney. Make sure to look over us with the ancestors, ok? Love you!”

“Very well said, mini me,” Jimin smiled. “Alright, who’s hungry?”

“Me!” Noah shouted and Sydney babbled loudly in her father’s arms as she waved her arms around.

“Ok, come on,” Jimin said, turning around and walking with the kids towards the back porch. When he noticed that you weren’t following him, he turned around and saw you still standing in front of the headstone. 

“You coming Jagi?” He called out and you glanced over your shoulder, giving him a small smile. 

“Yeah, just give me a sec,” you nodded and he did the same before turning around and walking into the house. You then knelt down, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to the surface of the headstone. 

“You’ll be okay without us,” you smiled softly, glancing down at your charm bracelet that sat on your wrist. There was one charm that had the zodiac symbol for Libra which represented Jimin, one that had the symbol for Virgo which was for Noah, and one that had the symbol for Scorpio, which was for Sydney. However, your newest charm held the zodiac symbol for Sagittarius, which is when your third child was supposed to have been born. 

“We’ll be okay too,” you stated firmly, giving one last look to the headstone before standing up straight and walking towards the back porch, where you could hear the voices of your husband, son, and daughter flowing from the kitchen. Despite the shitty circumstances, you still considered yourself to be pretty damn lucky. 

[cant-blink]

Favorite and Least Favorite Ghidorah Incarnations

Probably gonna regret making this post, but it’s been a long time coming, so let’s do it. I guess I should warn, not suitable for people sensitive to opinions that might be different from their own. Can’t believe I have to say that about a list of fav Ghidorahs, but alas...

Anyway, enjoy!

-

Let’s start with my Top 5 favorite Ghidorahs! Going from my most favorite down! All five of these are amazing and any one can easily become my #1 at any given time! :D But at the moment, my number 1 is...

Showa Ghidorah

Showa Ghidorah should come to nobody’s surprise, given how much I’ve been writing about him lately! I admit though, it wasn’t always like this. It took some time for him to grow on me, and he actually used to be one of my least favorite through design alone. But he has grown exponentially on me, and now I love everything about him! The manes are unique and I love the crescent moons on his heads too. His eyes are so big, and I feel they have more expression compared to other Ghidorahs. And the inspiration of the more traditional Eastern-style dragon is there in his face too. 

His backstory and personality, though, is what really got me to change my mind about the character. His personality is perfect as far as I’m concerned! Coming from space to destroy planets just for the lolz, cackling maniacally all the way! Even the fact he was mind-controlled was something for me to delve into in my stories, on how such a thing impacts the character. It really opened my eyes to the more subtle parts to his personality, like I realize that Ghiddy wants NOTHING to do with Earth. He tried to destroy it once and that failure is all he needed to know to stay away. The plot device of mind-control is used to keep him coming back in future movies! Even when he defeated Godzilla and Rodan, he chose to fly away back into space! There’s layers to his character if you look deep enough!

There’s just so much story-potential to this guy, I love it! Even in real life, he has an arc, going from one of my least favorites to being the top of this list! That’s definitely special!

Overall, a lot of love for this character, often wrestling with Legendary for the number 1 spot! Speaking of which...

Legendary Ghidorah

The one that started it all for me and they’re second on the list?! Blasphemy!! Nah, seriously though, Showa and Legendary really do often switch places for me all the time! Just right now, Showa has squeezed into the top spot. For now........

Anyway, Legendary Ghidorah needs no explanation for being a favorite incarnation of the character. Whilst Godzilla has always been a very vague presence in my life, KotM’s is what had me diving headfirst into the fandom, all because of Ghidorah. Their design is amazing, sleek and intimidating! The detail that they whip up storms just by flying creates an awesome menacing atmosphere everytime they’re on screen!

The personalities between the heads is unique, providing all sorts of material for my writer side to explore! Their backstory is left open for me to explore as well, like where they came from and how their species functions! It’s been a lot of fun! I may be slightly burnt out from how much I’ve written and posted about them, but make no mistake, I still ADORE this Ghidorah and I have them to thank for starting this whole page in the first place! 

Shin Ghidorah

That’s right, Shin Ghidorah exists in official TOHO canon and he needs more love!!

Shin Ghidorah was one I was introduced to not long after I learned Kamata-kun (oh, and Shin Godzilla) was a thing. With my obsession with Ghidorah, I wanted to know if there was a Ghidorah in the Shin universe and after some digging, I found that there was! Featured in a ride in Universal Studios Japan! And better yet, videos of it exists on youtube! I loved it the second I saw it! 

The design is amazing and surprisingly unique! This is because Shin Ghidorah was originally a scrapped concept for the original Showa Ghidorah! Like, Shin Ghidorah is basically an oversized three-headed Skullcrawler with wings! Because you see those “legs” he has? Those are actually ARMS!! Ghidorah could’ve been a giant Skullcrawler all this time!!

I also love his movements, oddly enough. He doesn’t just fly, he SWIMS though the air, something I don’t recall seeing in any other Ghidorah!

The only thing I don’t like about him... is the fact that he wasn’t around longer! A shame the ride is so short, I would’ve LOVED to see more of him in a movie. Oh well...

Grand/Cretaceous Ghidorah

Both are the same individual, so they’re both in this entry! I remember learning about him through a video talking about Ghidorah’s most sadistic moment and this was it. Grand Ghidorah kidnaps children with the sole intent to devour them, but he doesnt eat them right away, no. He holds them hostage to stew in their terror, returning to them every so often just to listen to their screams and cries. You know he’s enjoying every minute, knowing he’s torn families apart. Without a doubt, all this is just a game before he destroys the world as Ghiddys do. The way he toyed with Mothra Leo, leaving him to suffer after beating him to near-death. Or the way he possessed one of the Mothra twins to try to kill her own sister! It was great! He has such a regal design too! I can see why the fanbase have come to call him Grand King Ghidorah, he’s absolutely majestic. Shame he’s overshadowed, likely due to not being in a Godzilla movie.

Cretaceous Ghidorah has a more Western-dragon look to him and it works. He is basically a baby Ghidorah and he is so cute! His big eyes and squeaky roars, I love it! He also SOMEHOW made me feel sorry for my least favorite dinosaur! That's some true power right there!

The regeneration ability too, is amazing! This is likely where Legendary got the idea, but Grand does it better by regenning from just a small piece of tail left behind. Just badass, all around!

Void Ghidorah

A controversial pick, I know. I made a whole post about my detailed thoughts on Void Ghidorah, see here. Long story short: I think he has great potential, just suffered from piss poor execution. I love the idea of turning this alien dragon into an interdimensional GOD, with followers and everything. His full-body model looks amazing! He’s the biggest and most powerful Ghidorah yet, the biggest kaiju in the entire franchise in fact, and I don’t see him ever being topped. Granted, I dun really judge how much I like a kaiju based on how strong they are, but it’s a bonus here. He needs all the help he can get!

Adding more, his roars are insane, not just a combination of Showa and Heisei Ghidorah! But sounds that are truly otherworldly.

Void Ghidorah deserves love, and a better movie. Guess I’ll just settle on Godzilla: Star-eating Wings as the go-to Void Ghidorah video!

-

I have no real opinion on the new ride Ghidorah, as I have yet to watch the full "movie” and thus, can’t judge how well I’ll like it compared to the others. So for now, tis neutral.

-

Now I’m totally going to get hate for this list of “least favorite Ghidorahs”, but this is my opinion. I don’t like any of them, and they’re all outshined by my favorite non-Ghidorah kaijus, and some even being beaten by my “meh” kaijus! Anyway, this is gonna go from “best” least favorite to my “worst” least favorite. Here goes:

Heisei/Mecha-Ghidorah

Tis no secret that I don’t particularly like Heisei’s version of the character. I’ve mentioned it more than enough. Oddly though, I liked the design when I first looked through Ghidorahs from past movies, and I DISLIKED Showa Ghidorah’s design. How things have changed when I learned more about both of them... 

Now I’ve grown to not like Heisei very much. They took Ghidorah as an alien dragon that destroys planets for fun, and turned him into pets that I’m sure are meant to be cute, but just remind me of Furby’s in how creepy they are (tis not the good kind of creepy either!). I like the scrapped idea of him being an attempt to clone Showa Ghidorah from DNA left behind when he destroyed Venus, so I keep that canon in my head just for some attempt to like him more. Tis why I call him “Kitty Ghiddy” whenever I write him, I legit cannot take him seriously. Such a shame that he’s basically replaced Showa Ghiddy on merchandise, so it’s harder for me to find said Showa Ghiddy because of this thing. Oh, well.

Oh, and he replaced the BIDIBIDI of Showa with generic Rodan calls. And he also turns into a good guy at the end of the movie with Mecha-Ghidorah, and.... well, go down to the next entry for my thoughts on stuff like that.

GMK Ghidorah

He’s a good guy here. They nerfed the fuck out of him by having him be a juvenile (not even done well like Cretaceous Ghidorah), and turned him into a good guy. Granted, he was never meant to be in this movie in the first place and it shows. I’m a villain kind of person, and Ghidorah’s evilness is one of the biggest draws to his character for me. So taking that away... It just doesn’t work for me. It says something when I like GODZILLA more than Ghidorah in a movie. His design is okay, so at least he has that going. But...

Desghidorah

I really don’t like the design of the character. That’s literally it. I think four-legged Ghidorahs are very awkward looking; Ghidorah has a lot going on as is, three heads, two wings, two legs, two tails. Adding more legs... it’s just too much going on that tips the scales from ‘awesome’ to ‘messy’ in my mind. I can’t explain too well why I really don’t like the four-legged look to Ghidorahs, I just really don’t. But credit, he does pull off the look slightly better than the last one on my list.

AND MY LEAST FAVORITE GHIDORAH AND LIKELY TO GET A MOB ON ME IS.....

Keizer Ghidorah/Monster X

“An awkward horse” is what someone described him to me as, and I can’t help but agree. Again, that four-legged look breaks it for me but somehow, he looks EVEN MORE awkward than Des. I just can’t look passed it. Maybe it’s the front legs, or the wings looking too small for his body. Des just LOOKS a bit more natural in his four-legged-ness. 

Making it worse for me, Keizer has a second form that I REALLY don’t like: Monster X. They don’t even resemble each other. I can’t help but feel MX was supposed to be his own Kaiju, but they felt pressured to make Ghidorah the final boss so they combined them. Dunno if that’s the case, but it feels like that to me. Not even getting into the “how the hell does a dragon come out of THAT, where does it all GO when he changes back?”. And the biggest thing: I don’t like human-looking characters. I don’t care for human characters at all in any sort of media, or anything that resembles humans too closely. I skip human scenes entirely just to get to the monsters. Tis why I don’t really care for gijinkas either. As far as I’m concerned, I like the kaiju for being kaiju, and making them human just takes away all things interesting.

If Ghidorah kept everything intact about his personality, but you made him human... I wouldn’t even give his character a second glance, much less devote my Tumblr page to him! But yeah, tangent over. Monster X just looks too human for my tastes. 

Plus, tis hard to compete for my attention when you’re in the same movie as FW Gigan! It says something when Showa Gigan and Showa Ghidorah can share the screen and I love them both, but FW Gigan completely outshines FW Ghidorah...

-

So there we go, a complete list of my thoughts for every Ghidorah incarnation that I can think of. Hopefully I didn’t miss any. Again, these are my opinions and you’re free to like whatever Ghidorah. I’mma sleep now.

[vaguely-concerned]

R-r-r-rewatch thoughts for The Mandalorian S2 Ep2

(or Chapter 10 as they seem resolved to call it)

- can I just express my joy for a moment that in one episode we get peli, the answer to my pleas for female representation in the ‘sketchy middle aged car mechanic’ niche, and a female alien designed with no consideration towards sexiness. (I mean I’m sure there’s someone. There is always someone somewhere on the Internet, is the bitter truth history has shown to us. but it’s not the intention behind the design haha)  

- they do take great pains to deliberately show you boba’s armour several times both in the recap and in the episode itself, so never despair he is very likely still on his way onto our screens once more

- this dude holding the baby hostage wanting specifically the jetpack in exchange is the one (1) break this whole episode gave din lol 

also the Patented Mando Finger Curl of Stress while he talked softly and calmly to not promp this asshole to make a sudden move... the most endearing character tic, I love my space cowboy dad so much 

- fun continuity detail: din is all out of whistling birds now, and you can see it here!

I wonder if he could still use the same mechanism with different ‘ammo’, it’s just not as effective? from the way the armorer spoke whistling birds seem quite rare and it would be an inefficient use of beskar if that’s the only thing it can be loaded with

 - I love how after the last episode, a 50 min epic with a bunch of original trilogy significance and impressive technical achievements and exciting character reveals, I was like ‘yeah okay I suppose that is quite interesting’, and this mess/comedy of inconveniences is the thing that fully makes my brain tip into the obsessive ‘BABY AND DAD SHOW!! BABY AND DAD SHOW!!!!!’ mind state lol

- ah the traditional ‘mando trudging slowly but steadily through the desert’ montage we all love to see (I hope this is going to be a Thing for the second episode of every season from now on) 

Also I assume his suit has some sort of temperature regulation built in and that’s how he didn’t, y’know. die under the blazing desert sun

-

CAT FIGHT CAT FIGHT man I love the jawa. also mando doesn’t even glance over at them, really emphasizing how he’s like. done with this entire day (and it’s all barely even getting started din! i’m sorry)

 yodito’s look in this scene tho... he’s like ‘we’ve Seen some shit lady’ (actually I think he’s staring at ‘dr mandible’ like O___o. it’s been a long day for a lil boy) 

you get to see dr mandible’s cards a few times, so I assume anyone who knows the rules of... sabacc? probably? could figure out beforehand that he was in a bad spot. (the star wars fanbase is one of those where I KNOW the rules exist somewhere, and I know people who know those rules exist too)  

- that sound the baby keeps making -- the ‘boo-a’, sometimes with a p-sound at the end -- if that’s the precursor to him saying any variation whatsoever of ‘dad’ or ‘papa’ or ‘baba’ or even ‘buir’ or anything, I will die. I will sink to the ground in a heap and never get up (the way he keeps seeking out gaze contact with the helmet and seems perfectly satisfied with it too... fasdhfaskdjhl my FEELINGS)

- it seems confirmed in this ep that the mandos who died on nevarro did so while holding off the enemy so the rest(probably especially the children) could get away; some of them appear to have escaped. which I guess is a small relief

- 

frog lady stepping out of the shadows and into our hearts

I like that her firm nod after Peli translates ‘her husband has seen them’ lets us know she understands... basic? is that the common tongue thing in star wars there’s just so many to remember across fandoms lol? perfectly well, even if she can’t speak it. 

- mando might be running low on ammo for the pulse rifle, if the fact that he hasn’t replaced the missing cartridge on his... bandolier belt thingy is any indication

ETA: actually ignore me this has been a thing since the literal first episode of the show my brain just had a hiccup lol

- so baby seems to use a little bit of the force to pull the eggs towards him -- I wonder how often he ‘taps into it’ or if it’s always ‘on’ in the background for him. if so I guess there’s no wonder he’s so hungry (but also... kid you can’t end this lady’s entire family line like that one cat who singlehandedly made extinct a whole species of bird! D:)

- din so rarely gets openly angry, he just gets passive aggressive and grumpy. and that’s probably not the healthiest way to deal with things but I love him

- frog lady reacts so strongly to when din sends the ping when nothing else woke her up, I wonder if she can hear more frequencies than a human

- 

hello darkness my old frieeennnddd

- 

proof nr 1508 that din does not starve this baby you guys, he even has his own little tray just the right size for him! as it happens the baby simply seems to prefer eating things that are... still alive in some capacity. which, uh. maybe they can invest in some form of non-sentient crickets or something for him to hunt down and.... oh dear

- 

Look how they massacred my boy

By the way I finally managed to put into words why the Razor Crest -- and particularly the way it keeps getting beaten to hell and back and patched up again --  is so symbolically important and meaningful to me in this show in this post over here! it’s always a great relief to me when I can finally understand what the hell I’ve been going on about all this time and this was one of those lol

-  honestly if it weren’t for frog lady and (more importantly) the baby I think there’s a slight chance din would’ve gone ‘well I had a good-ish run of it for a while there’ and just let the ice claim him haha   

- “Why don’t you come over here and give me a hand. Make yourself useful” This is the one time in the episode I think he crosses the line into just being a dick for a moment (but noticeably the baby isn’t just a little hurt at this reaction, he’s clearly surprised and confused, which means this really does not happen often. after the time mando’s been having recently I guess a moment’s snappishness is understandable haha. he does follow up right after with being much more responsive and attentive when the baby toddles away from him, so it feels like it’s going to be okay)

also the ‘boo-ap’ sound is there again when he’s trying to get din’s attention. just sayin’ 

when din comes over to see the footprints baby makes a declarative little meep like ‘see??? I did tell you!’ haha

- it is very funny that mando is using all his technology meant to track down dangerous bounties in the grungy depths of the criminal underworld... to find a naked lady just chillin’ in a hot spring 

- 

cue the ‘father is evil?’ memes fsadfda. actually the funniest thing about this moment (apart from the fabulous finger acting) is that din actually snatches a few eggs out of the baby’s reach more subtly right before, and that baby only whines for ALL OF ONE SECOND before he goes to sniff around for other food possibilities fkadfhjkds. from my experience with human children he’s a lot less prone to tantrums. yodito doesn’t get mad, he gets even 

- baby running towards din through the hatching spiderlings like ‘DAD I FUCKED UUUUUUP’, din’s little strangled ‘ngh’ sound as he picks the baby up and watches all the creepy crawlies come out... *chef kiss* impeccable 

(that little ‘ngh’ and the soft shocked ‘ah ah AH!’s from when he goes flying at the beginning of the episode... pedro pascal and his voice work for this character gives me so much life. in some ways din has this sort of dignity and grace and in other ways he uh extremely doesn’t. he gets to be cool but also vulnerable in ways a lot of male main characters don’t and it’s probably why I love him so much) 

btw here is that moment when din moves to hold the baby tightly against him with both hands as the big spider appears, because it gets me right in the heart... it such an instinctive thing of holding on to the dearest thing you’ve got before something bad is about to happen

fdsafhsdakjlfhsdkjlhfsdajhf oh my god the baby is clutching din’s finger with his little hand during the chase!!!! 😭😭😭

this FUCKING SHOW has just WEAPONIZED putting in small details everywhere to convey the love and tenderness and attachment felt by a little muppet doll even where only weirdos like me will frame by frame their way through the video to see it I am so MAD

- frog lady going ‘fuck this’ and bounding along is  e v e r y t h i n g 

- din is an amazing shot, though, he doesn’t seem to miss a single one in this whole scene (then again there’s something to shoot at basically everywhere one can take aim so lol)

-

baby hiding behind/half hugging din’s boot as he tries to get the doors closed hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I can’t breathhhhheeeee 

honestly every single one of the baby’s proximity seeking behaviours in this ep has me on my knees 

- it’s very unfair to play the heroic happy mando music like everything is going to be fine and then have a huge fuck-off spider drop down from the ceiling and break it off mid-tune, the mandalorian, you have trained me in certain ways and now do you betray me??? how can I trust again

- the camera work in the scene with the new republic guys gives such a good sense of the discomfort of being judged from on high by someone or something you can’t really see -- the glare of the lights blocking out everything in the shots from din’s pov makes it feel like a tense interrogation (the new republic dude who is actually dave filoni has such a look of fondness as he watches din tho it’s kind of sweet)

- ...oh no I think baby was actually considering munching on that dismembered spider leg YODITO NO JUST EAT YOUR KRAYT DRAGON BABY

- hngh this is a weird filler episode and it has my entire heart. I suspect we might get some episodes of a more stationary baby between active ones like this -- you can tell a little bit in this episode that especially having him running around fast is quite difficult to have look natural, they likely save that effort up for when it best serves the narrative  

[tessisawriter]

Tell Him (Andrei Svechnikov ft. Braden Holtby)

Request: Imagine being [Holtby’s] sister and dating Andrei Svechnikov but [Holtby] doesn’t know

A/N: Text messages are in bold. The original request was for Y/N to be Ovechkin’s sister, but since he is on my “Players I Don’t Write For” list, I switched it to Braden Holtby.

Warnings: Two swear words, angst

Word Count: 2.5k

It was hard enough being the Capitals’ star goalie Braden Holtby’s little sister, but try that while secretly dating superstar winger and member of the rival Hurricanes Andrei Svechnikov. That’s hard on steroids.

Things would’ve been a lot easier if you had fessed up to Braden already. But alas, you were sitting in primo seats in the PNC Arena in Raleigh three days after Christmas, watching your boyfriend’s team shell your brother, who of course had to be in net tonight, with quality shots. Braden wasn’t playing all that well, and you were on the edge of your seat, anxiously watching the action.

“Five minutes left.” Your sister-in-law, Brandi, was sitting next to you, and from the look of her shoulders, the tension was obvious.

“I can’t tell him tonight. He’s going to be so pissed!”

“I hate to say I told you so, Y/N, but: I told you so.”

As you turned to glare at her, the goal horn blared and everyone got up out of their seats to celebrate. You whipped your head back around in the direction of the Capitals’ net and saw Andrei in the middle of a group hug with his teammates. He was pointing at you and grinning widely. Braden took his helmet off and stared at the scene playing out in front of him.

“Looks like you don’t have a choice, honey.” Brandi patted you on the shoulder.

“I told him not to fucking do that, and what does he do? He does it!” you groused as you watched Andrei high five his teammates.

“He clearly agrees with me.” You didn’t answer Brandi because she was right.

You met Andrei eight months ago while his and your brother’s teams were playing against each other in the first round of the playoffs, but you didn’t start dating until you started school at Duke. While you weren’t that far away from your brother and Virginia, you were homesick, and you got Andrei’s number when you met him in the spring, so you ended up calling him during your second week at school and asking him to hang out.

It was nice hanging out with Andrei. While he didn’t live in Durham, he was only 30 minutes away in Raleigh, so he knew the area well enough, and he helped you settle in to life in North Carolina while you helped him improve his English (he was from Russia, and while he spent some time in the States before joining the Hurricanes, his English still needed some work). Within a few weeks, you were dating.

It scared and amazed you at the same time how fast you fell for Andrei. He was spontaneous and knew exactly how to cheer you up, making corny jokes that sucked so badly they were funny. Andrei was tired of hiding your relationship, and while you wanted nothing more than to shout it from the rooftops, you were afraid of disappointing Braden.

Braden was both your older brother and a father figure of sorts, since he was 12 years older than you. You moved to the States for high school and lived with him, his wife, Brandi, and your niece and nephew in Virginia. You loved your big brother and always confided in him about your problems, so it felt weird keeping such a big secret from him, but you did because you didn’t know how he would react. While Braden never explicitly told you to not date a hockey player, Andrei was a star player on one of the Capitals’ biggest rivals. And he just killed any chances of Braden’s team winning the game tonight.

Tonight was the worst possible night to drop the bomb on him, but Andrei just made it impossible to stall any longer.

You sat with your head in your hands for the remainder of the game, even when Panik cut the deficit from 6-3 to 6-4, because the game was effectively over. Besides, you had to figure out the best way to break the news to your brother about your relationship with Andrei, and fast.

***************

You were quaking in your boots as you stood in front of the Capitals’ dressing room, waiting for your brother to come out.

“Whatever happens, Y/N, I’ll be there,” Brandi reassured you. “He’s going to be mad at first, but he’ll forgive you. He loves his baby sister.” She ruffled your hair.

“I’m glad you figured it out: I would’ve gone insane if you hadn’t known, either.”

“I was a teenage girl once too, you know.”

You smiled at her. Brandi figured it out on Christmas Eve when Braden asked you and Brandi to accompany him to Raleigh for the second half of the back-to-back, and you initially said no. When Braden asked you why not, you made up a lame excuse about being tired from a long semester, and while he bought it, Brandi didn’t and pulled you aside after Braden went to bed. Telling her about your secret relationship lifted some of the weight off of your shoulders.

“And you made a smart choice wearing his jersey,” Brandi added.

You looked down at the three white stars and navy letters on the front of your red jersey before glancing at the white number 70 on your sleeve. Little did she know that you weren’t wearing an ordinary black t-shirt under your jersey, but instead Andrei’s shirsey that he gave you earlier this afternoon as a belated Christmas present. You might’ve told Braden and Brandi that you were taking an Uber back to campus to see some of your friends when in reality, you went to Andrei’s apartment. At least it wasn’t a complete lie: you took an Uber.

Suddenly, you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist from behind, and you jumped, not knowing who it was until you turned around and found your victorious boyfriend smiling at you.

“Hi, babe.” He peppered your cheeks with kisses.

“Andrei!” you whined, but you liked having his undivided attention.

Your moment of bliss was interrupted when you heard someone clear their throat. Still in Andrei’s arms, you turned to find your brother scowling at you, arms crossed against his chest. “Bray, I can explain—”

“Explain what? That you’ve been clearly been dating him and sneaking around behind my back to do it?” Braden rarely raised his voice, but the raw hurt in his tone made you wish he did. “I thought we had a better relationship than that.”

“Braden—”

“Brandi, I’m booking us another night at the hotel and I’ll make arrangements for us to fly out tomorrow. I don’t want to see her until we go to the airport.”

You started to cry. “I’m so sorry, Bray, I didn’t mean to hurt you!”

“I can’t deal with this right now. Let’s go, Brandi.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hall and away from you while you sobbed into Andrei’s chest.

***************

It was a silent drive back to Andrei’s apartment. Since you had nowhere else to go for the night, he insisted you stay with him.

Andrei parked the car in his space and as soon as you got out of the car, your phone chimed with a text.

“Is it him?” Andrei asked.

You shook your head as you looked at the screen. “It’s Brandi.”

Her text read: Are you staying with Andrei?

You shot a quick Yes back before walking into the building, Andrei following you.

While you were in the elevator, three grey dots appeared on the screen. You and Andrei watched as they disappeared and a text popped up in its place: I’m sorry about Braden. He just needs the night to calm down/process.

You swallowed before typing back: I get it and the elevator doors opened on Andrei’s floor.

The grey dots appeared again when you were settled on top of the bed, Andrei’s arms wrapped around you, and the next text read: We have a private plane leaving at 2PM from Raleigh. Be at the airport at noon.

Followed quickly by another one: And bring Andrei with you.

You looked at your boyfriend. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

“No, I want to. I’ve got to face him at some point, and besides, we should tell him together. Properly, I mean.”

You smiled for the first time since you saw Braden outside the locker room. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, my love.” Andrei gently kissed you on the lips before pulling away and saying, “You should answer her.”

“Oh, right.” You typed out the text and sent it—We’ll be there—before realizing something. “Shit. My carry-on is with the Caps’ bags!”

You hurriedly texted Brandi, and she quickly replied: Don’t worry; I have it. You’re good with the clothes you have on, right?

You cringed. “This is not good.”

Andrei leaned over to read the text. “What do you mean…? Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. I’m wearing your shirsey!”

“You can borrow one of my other shirts.”

“Do you own any non-Hurricanes related clothing?”

“Of course I do!” Andrei huffed.

“Wait, let me rephrase that: do you have any shirts not related to hockey in general?”

This time, Andrei paused. “I do…somewhere.”

“It’s all right, we’ll worry about it in the morning. I just really want to go to sleep.”

Andrei got up off the bed and went over to his drawers while you texted Brandi to say good night. He pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a Hurricanes t-shirt for you to wear and tossed them to you. You smiled and went into the bathroom to change.

When you came back out, Andrei was already tucked into bed, and he was shirtless.

“Come here, babe.” He held out his arms to you, and you collapsed in the bed next to him. “I’m really behind on laundry, so I don’t have another clean shirt. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, babe.” A moment of silence passed before you continued: “You were right, you know. I should’ve told him earlier. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Y/N. I get where you were coming from.” He kissed your cheek and you snuggled further into his arms. Before you could fall asleep, though, he added: “A private plane, though? Really?”

You chuckled. “Leading your team to a Stanley Cup has its perks. Not that he uses them often; leave that to Ovi.”

You could feel the vibrations of Andrei’s laughter as he pulled you even closer to him than before.

***************

You were so tense on the drive to the airport, not even Andrei’s bad jokes could make you smile.

Brandi texted you earlier that morning, telling you Braden was still in a bad mood but that she expected him to forgive you. You weren’t so sure he would. He had never acted like this before, and you were scared you ruined your relationship with your brother.

Your stomach churned as you and Andrei walked up to the terminal entrance.

“Are you okay?” Concern was written all over his face.

“No. But there’s no turning back now,” you said and grabbed Andrei’s hand as you walked through the doors.

Brandi and your brother were waiting on the other side of the door.

“Hey, Bray,” you said, trying to sound as casual as you could. “I—”

“How long?” Braden cut you off.

You gulped. “Almost five months.”

“Five months.” The last part came out like a whisper, so he cleared his throat before continuing. “Wow, okay. Look, I’m sorry about last night. I should never have left you in the arena like that. But I was really upset, and I still am.”

There was a terrible silence before Andrei blurted out: “I’m the one who insisted we keep it from you. Don’t blame her; it’s all on me.”

Braden regarded him for a moment. “I know for a fact that’s not true, but I like that you’re defending my sister. If you don’t mind, though, can I talk to her alone for a moment?”

“Sure, I’ll just—”

“You don’t need to leave, we’ll talk over there.” Braden pointed at the big windows, and you followed him.

“Y/N, I want you to know that I’m not mad about you dating Andrei. I mean, it upset me at first, but it’s because so many changes have happened: you went off to college, and now you have a boyfriend…but I’m over it now. You have to live your life.” He cleared his throat. “There is one thing, though: I’m hurt that you felt you couldn’t tell me. Why did you feel that way?”

You felt a tear fall down your cheek. “I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

“Why would I be disappointed?”

“Andrei plays for one of your biggest rivals.”

Braden scoffed. “I couldn’t care less about that. I care about the way he treats you, and from what I’ve seen so far, he’s good to you. I think he might even love you.”

You blushed. “I think I might love him, too.”

“Then that’s all that matters. Nothing could ever make me stop loving you, Y/N.” Braden wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tight. You held on as if he were going to disappear.

“I love you too, Bray.”

You pulled away from the hug, only to find Andrei and Brandi standing right behind you.

“Are you guys good?” Brandi asked.

“We’re good.” You smiled.

“Thank God, I don’t ever want to see you two fight again.” She came over and hugged you.

“As for you, Andrei,” Braden turned his attention to your boyfriend. “Just because I live in Virginia doesn’t mean I won’t come down here and kick your ass if you hurt my sister.”

“I wouldn’t dream of hurting her.”

“Good. Now I know you’re an adult,” he shifted his attention back to you, “but promise me you’ll stay in the dorms on weeknights and not take your focus off your studies. You’ve worked so hard to get here, and you’re going to graduate from college.”

“Yes, Dad,” you joked.

“Okay, I think we’ve covered everything. I’ll give you two a moment.” Braden grabbed Brandi’s hand and walked over to the ticketing counter.

“I’m so glad it went well,” you said.

“I knew it would: he’s just protective of you.”

You wrapped your arms around your boyfriend. “Thanks for coming with me.”

“Anytime. When do you come back?”

“Nine days.”

“Ugh, it feels so far away,” he whined, and you laughed.

“I’ll be back before you know it.” You leaned in and kissed him.

“Ahem! No PDA around me!” Braden shouted, and you and Andrei pulled away from each other laughing.

“Call me when you land?”

“I will. See you soon.” You kissed Andrei on the cheek before joining Braden and Brandi at the ticketing counter to go back home.

[writingwithciara]

Cover Girl ~Rafe Cameron~

summary: y/n was the lowest class of Kook. she didn’t fit in anywhere and nobody ever made her feel like she belonged, until one night at a party.

word count: 2.6k

pairings: rafe x reader

warning: my horrible writing, i think there’s a swear word or two, angst

a/n: i was listening to Cover Girl by Big Time Rush last night and thought it’d be cool to write something for Rafe. i feel like if he was shown some kind of love, that he’d be a decent person. {loosely based off the song}

masterlist

y/n was not an average run-of-the-mill Kook. She was born a Kook but over the years, her family has been balancing on the border of Kook and Pogue. 

When she was 8, her dad went into business with Ward Cameron & started making more money. This business deal brought her the opportunity to meet the boy she called her best friend for the past 8 years.

Rafe hadn’t liked the girl at first but after a straight month of business meetings between their fathers, he had accepted the fact that she wasn’t going anywhere.

Now, here they are, 8 years later & closer than ever.

“So, the midsummer celebration is in a few days.” Rafe smiled over at his other best friend, Topper, as they lounged in the hot tub.

“Who are you taking?” Topper questioned, already knowing that the answer was pretty obvious.

“Raquelle.”

“Who?”

“She’s this smoking hot rich chick I met at a business event.” Rafe chuckled and looked at his phone. Y/n was supposed to be there 15 minutes ago. “Anyway, she asked me to go with her last night when I was at her place.”

“Does y/n know?”

“No. And why does she need to?”

“I thought you’d be taking her, seeing as you’ve gone as her date to every other event.”

“I was planning on asking her, but she’s been so distant lately and I have no idea how to fix it.”

“So, you won’t mind if I take her then?”

“What?” Rafe was shocked at this question. He couldn’t imagine anyone dancing with y/n or holding her in any way. It hurt him to think about it but he shrugged it off. “Yeah. Sure.”

“Sweet.” Topper smiled and set his phone down. “All I have to do is wait.”

The minute y/n’s phone went off, she regretted turning it back on. She rolled to her side and looked at the bright screen. 

“A text from Topper?” she thought about how very little contact the two have actually had and sighed as she opened the text. “Why would he want to take me  to Midsummers?” 

Battling with her thoughts once again, she quickly typed a ‘yes’ and laid on her back. The glow-in-the-dark stars Rafe gotten her for her birthday last week, were bright, causing her to think of names for each and every one of them.

“Margaret, you’re my favorite.” she smiled up at the big one in the center, before slowly drifting off to sleep, completely forgetting she was supposed to meet the boys at Rafe’s house.

----------------

Three days later & Midsummers had finally arrived. Tons of people were spread around outside the country club. It wasn’t y/n’s favorite place to be, but her father had wanted the whole family to spend more time together. 

“Good evening, Mr an Mrs y/l/n.” topper smiled as he greeted the family in the front hall. “Y/n, you look absolutely beautiful tonight.”

“Thanks, Topper.” y/n smiled up at the boy and took in his appearance. “Not so bad yourself.” she giggled. He actually didn’t look horrible.

“Thanks.” he chuckled and turned to her parents. “Mind if I keep her back and walk in with her?”

“No problem. See you in there, sweetie.” her father grabbed her mom’s hand and they walked to the backyard. Topper looked at her and held his arm out.

“Gotta make a grand entrance, right?” he smirked. y/n took his arm and they followed her parents. 

As soon as they were outside, y/n spotted Rafe. He had a blonde hanging off his arm and she was laughing at something he said. It gave y/n a sinking feeling in her gut. She turned to Topper and gave him a small smile.

“Top, can you go get me a drink, please?” 

“Sure.” he smiled and started walking to where Rafe and his date were. As he approached, the boy started a conversation with them. He held the cider in his hand and y/n watched as he laughed along with Rafe’s date. 

She was envious, that much she knew. Rafe was supposed to be her date, as usual. But the whole situation they were in was her fault. It was she who pulled herself away when Rafe needed her most.

“Come down, y/n. The water is nice and cool.” Rafe called up to her. She was in his room, looking herself over in his mirror. She had jsut bought a new bikini and was excited to show Rafe, but as she checked herself out, she noticed she had put on a few pounds. Y/n suddenly became insecure.

“Be right down.” she grabbed one of Rafe’s shirts and went down to meet her best friend and wait for his other friends.

“Why are you wearing a shirt? I thought you had a cute new bikini you wanted to show me.” Rafe questioned, wiggling his eyebrows as if he intended to flirt with her. 

“I changed my mind.” she shrugged and spread herself out on one of the chairs.”

“Awww, come on, y/n. Won’t you show it? For me?” he begged with the look he knew she couldn’t refuse. The moment she rolled her eyes and started reaching for the bottom of his shirt, he knew he had won.

“There? Happy?”

“Mhm. Very.” he chuckled as she threw his shirt at him. “Bikini looks hot, as always.” 

“Thanks, Rafe.” she blushed hardcore and was happy that the shade of the nearby umbrella was hiding it. Just as their moment was growing, Kelce and Topper ran out to the backyard and looked at them.

“Time to swim!” 

A few minutes passed and y/n was getting hungry. She stood up and went to the door. 

“I’m going in for some snacks and drinks. You boys want anything?”

“A few beers would be great, right guys?” Rafe asked and the boys nodded.

“Got it. 3 Colas, coming right up.” the boys all looked at her as she shook her head and went to the fridge. She grabbed the beers for the boys and began heading back outside. When she heard Kelce’s voice, she slowed down but when he mentioned her, she stopped completely and listened to them.

“Has anyone else noticed that y/n has put on a couple of pounds?” 

“Kelce, quit it. She looks amazing.” Rafe defended his best friend.

“Of course you’d say that. You’re practically in love with her.” Kelce chuckled at his friends face, which was now a deeper shade of red than it was. “But I’m just saying. She used to be hot. Now, not so much.”

“Kelce, shut up. You’re gonna make him mad.”  Topper tried to get him to stop but when the 3 boys laughed, y/n knew something bad was gonna come out of Rafe’s mouth.

“It’s okay.” he chuckled. “He’s not...entirely wrong.”

Those 4 words shattered y/n beyond repair but she gathered herself and walked out with the beers. She handed each boy a bottle and set hers down next to the shirt she previously had on. When she put it back on and grabbed her bag, Rafe pouted.

“Where are you going?”

“My mom texted me. Said she wants me back home. Grandparents are coming in today. You know how it is with them.” she awkwardly chuckled and headed around the house and to her car. She threw her bag in and drove off.

Rafe knew something was off and that she was lying because she didn’t even look at her phone when she came back out & it had been in her bag while she was inside. There was no way she would’ve known her mom texted her.

------------------

That same night, he had to cover his sadness with his new friend, cocaine. He went to Barry and bought more than he needed with the money he acquired from pawning off some of his dad’s belongings. 

When he got home, he set up his supplies and did a few lines before there was a knock at his bedroom door. 

“I’m so happy you came back, y/n. I was beginning to think-” his sentence was cut off as he opened the door and was face-to-face with his father. “D-dad, what are you doing here?”

“Where’s my watch, Rafe?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Rafe, we have security cameras in every hallway. I saw you come out of my office with my watch.” his dad got closer to him. “Where. Is. It?”

“I-I pawned it for money.”

“You stole from me? How could you.”

“I had no choice. You cut me off and I needed my fix.” 

“Rafe, drugs are not the way to go through life.”

“Dad, I think I lost my best friend. I. NEED. THIS!” Rafe fell into a sobbing mess on his bedroom floor. His dad had no idea how to deal with him so he walked out. That was the night he realized the only thing that would always be there for him, would be cocaine.

y/n regretted leaving Rafe’s house that night. She knew what he would be getting into. It was a difficult decision but it helped her get over him.

Or so she thought. All the feelings came rushing back the moment she saw him with Raquelle. Topper had returned with her drink and she quickly downed it.

“Wow. That was fast. You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.” her eyes found Rafe’s and she sighed. “Let’s dance.” she was eager to get her mind off of her best friend so she gripped Topper’s hand tightly & dragged him to the middle of the dancing area.

“Slow down, y/n/n.” he chuckled as they got into the dancing position. The music started and they swayed back in forth. 

Over his dates shoulder, Rafe’s eyes landed on his friends together and it started something inside him that he couldn’t control. 

“Raquelle, can we talk?”

“Sure.” she smiled and followed him to quiet spot on the porch. They sat down on a bench and Rafe looked at the girl.

“There’s no easy way to say this but-”

“You only asked me because the girl you wanted to take wouldn't talk to you?” 

“Well, yeah. That would be the reason, but you asked me.” he smiled.

“Right.” Raquelle chuckled. “But it’s okay. I’ve always known how you felt about her. I’m not angry.”

“You have got to be the coolest chick I’ve ever met.” Rafe smiled and looked over to where he had last seen y/n and Topper. Y/n was staring up at Topper the way she used to look at him. There was some kind of love in her eyes & it hurt him to know he was no longer the only one who received that look. He stood up from his spot and went to go find Kelce.

“Thanks for being so understanding about this, Top.”

“It’s okay.” he smiled. “I’m just glad you told me the reason you left so suddenly that night. I was worried when you wouldn’t talk to us. To me.” 

“I’m sorry. I just...I don’t do good with stuff like that, especially when it comes from someone I never thought would say it.”

“Yeah, i understand.”

“I went my whole life being left out because of my level on the Kook chain. I’ve been insecure my entire life & I’ve never felt like I was good enough for anyone. When I met Rafe, everything changed. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere and that I deserved to be there.” her eyes started to water so she closed them. 

Rafe stood behind the couple and listened to her whole speech. His heart broke to see her so upset about something he said. All he wanted to do was hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

“I’m scared, Top. I’m scared that everything is gonna change now.”  she sobbed as Topper held her closer. They continued to dance and Topper noticed Rafe standing behind them. He motioned for Rafe to come over and that’s what he did.

“Keep your eyes closed for a second.” he let her stand there, giving Rafe the opportunity to take his place. Y/n didn’t seem to notice as they continued dancing to the low love song that was playing over the speakers. 

“Gosh, Top. What am I going to do? I love Rafe more than I’ve ever loved anybody. But he has Raquelle and I have...nobody.” she sighed and opened her eyes. She knew the chest she had been resting on and she didn’t need to look up to know who was with her. “R-rafe?”

““Yes?”

“Ignore that. IGnore all of what I just said.”

:How can I ignore it when I know that I hurt you.”

“Huh?”

“I heard what you told Topper, about the night you left. I’m so sorry you had to hear it, but just know, I never meant it. It was the only way to shut Kelce up. I’ll never forget the look on your face when you left. IT broke my heart and I didn’t....I didn’t intend to do such an awful thing.” he took a deep breath and looked at the girl. “I don’t know why you always get so insecure, y/n. You are the most beautiful girl in the whole world. You compare yourself to the girls in these magazines but they could never measure up to you. I wish you could see what I see when you look at yourself in the mirror.” he pulled back to admire the girl standing in front of him. “To me, you get more beautiful everyday. And somehow you always see the darkside of yourself, even though everything about you is amazing. I don’t know why you wear baggy clothes to camouflage your shape, because you’re perfect the way you are & I love you just the way you’re made.”

By now, everyone at the the party had stopped when they heard such loving words come from Rafe. They were all shocked at the words.

“Yo-you love me?”

“Of course I do. How could I not? You’re so pretty, that it hurts. You’ve got a heart of gold and when I see your face, I’d do anything to make you smile. I’d try a thousand ways to get you to love me too.” he looked into her eyes for an answer. A hint of how she felt. But there was nothing. “I think you’re a...a....a superstar & I want you see yourself the way I see you.” he sighed. “You’re so perfect to me & it hurts to know that you’ve gone so long not feeling like you were good enough.” his hands ran through his hair as he tugged at the ends. “You’re the only person I can be my true self around You’ve helped me out of so many difficult situations and I miss seeing your smile. The one thing that can always cheer me up. I need to see it again. Please?” he pleaded with her and gave her the look she couldn’t refuse. The second her lips curved upwards, her arms were thrown around his neck, her head pressed into his collar bone.

“Does this mean you’ll forgive me for being an idiot?”

“Of course. I’ve forgiven you for being an idiot before, haven’t I?” she giggled and reached up to cup his cheek in her hand. He instinctively leaned his head into her palm and placed a soft kiss on her wrist. “You may have acted like an idiot, but you’re my idiot. You always have been.” she smiled and pulled his face down gently, their lips connecting for the first time. IT was a quick kiss. They pulled back and looked around at everyone else.

“Let’s get out of here.” he grabbed her hand and led her to his truck. As they both climbed in, Rafe leaned over the console and placed another kiss to her lips. This one was a little longer and packed more passion into it than anything they’ve ever experienced before.

“I love you, Rafe Cameron.”

“I love you more, cover girl.”

--------

a/n: i realized i strayed too far from my original topic but by the time I realized this, it was too late to turn back. anyway, i hope you liked this. it took me a long time to get through it.

tags: @spilledtee​ @im-a-stranger-thing​ @ameeraaa21​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​ @obxmxybxnk​ @http-cherries​ @ijustreallylovethem​ @maggiesrandomness​ @softstarkey​ @poguesgold​ @jjouterbanks​ 

[rozugold]

Hello hi this is basically a small post where I point out some details from my latest animatic! I put lots of effort into it so I appreciate it if you watch it first before continuing :D

Also I’ve never really done one of these so my thoughts might be all over the place, sorry in advance

(Spoilers for the fic In Your Soul or On The Horizon)

Older Zoe!! I had doodled her with short hair before and really liked it, so it’s become a headcanon that Zoe cuts her hair when she gets older.

I’m not sure if this was very clear but this is the first scene of Zoe in the therapists office

“Zoe holds a pillow against her stomach, chipped nails tracing the threads of blue flowers.”

Ok I’m realizing it would’ve been cool if I added the flower designs to the pillows but ah well

First appearance of Fake!Connor. Since he’s Zoe’s imagination I tried to make him look a bit off (bangs are on the wrong side, additional piercings, a bit of scruff on his chin)

Throughout the story Fake!Connors appearance becomes inconsistent due to Zoe starting to forget what he looks like.

I had wanted to show that by making his design shift every time he’s on screen, but while drawing him I think I forgot and didn’t put much effort into that idea. The most I did was make his lines blurry

But actually I think I accidentally achieved that goal because my artstyle changed slightly every time I drew him.. so yay?

Fun Rozu fact: This picture frame is loosely based off a real frame I have of me and my older brother!! Except in the picture we’re not hugging and instead I’m slapping him in the face...

:D

Here’s some accidental parallels to the My Immortal animatic! Ok well, the room one wasn’t accidental since I wanted to keep Connors room consistent but the other scene is accidental. They’re two different situations but I’m just surprised I kept their designs the same

These were meant to replicate the big screens from deh during YWBF and YWBF reprise!

They flash between words from YWBF reprise and Zoe’s own thoughts in the fic

“Her Connor, just as he was the day before he died; seventeen, all sharp angles and lanky limbs, and so, so young.”

My favorite part of this fic, when I first read this line I had tears streaming down my face. I’m sure I’ve said this before but this story just hits home for me.

When you lose a loved one you dream so much about them, but when you see them they’re so far away and feel unfamiliar. But then you’ll get those dreams where that person is clear as day and they feel solid and real.

This fic did an amazing job capturing that part of grief ;;

“Then his face crumples, just like their mother’s.”

(Another subtle hint to the My Immortal animatic if ya think about it)

“Zoe wakes up.

Zoe wakes up every day, and she chooses to hope.”

Aaaand that’s all I can think of at the moment! Also cuz I realized there’s a limit to how many photos you could post haha

If anyone has any questions or want me to elaborate more on certain parts my inbox is always open :D

[tracynotabi]

Riptide Day 2 / Undertow

September 11, 2021

D-Day.

Kevin, Ivan, Joey, and I were getting a ride from Spencer, who was also taking Narq to the venue, while Robert and Parker got a ride from someone else. Well, at least we didn’t have to walk to the venue. I didn’t pack sunscreen.

At 9am, about half an hour we were supposed to leave, Kevin gets a stomachache.

Me: He just needs to poop. Spencer: The classic.

We end up going to the lobby to wait for Spencer in Narq, which was fine considering we actually didn’t want Spencer, our ride, waiting for us.

Spencer: Okay, Narq’s just using the bathroom rq lol Me: Is he also having tummy problems Spencer: Nah just bein stoner and forgetting to do stuff lol Me: The classic

We go get Chick-fil-A and I’m sitting underneath the dashboard again by Kevin’s feet. I think the employees were very bewildered, as the woman on the other side of the window did a double take. I would, too, if I saw a smaller-than-average person just hiding underneath the dashboard sipping on a cup of Coke.

Some time after I get to the venue during doubles, I end up talking to Jimmy (j u m), when Kevin comes rushing over to me, a panicked look on his face.

Forgot to mention, but Kevin actually couldn’t get all of his poop out before coming to the venue and now it is back with a vengeance.

He tells me that he’s unable to go to any restroom because there were three stalls in the men’s restroom: two were occupied and one was clogged with poop.

He had tried flushing the poop one but it only made it worse. It just clogged more and the water level rose. If he had sat down and insisted on finishing, his balls would be touching the water and that’s a no-no.

He tried asking the front desk for other restrooms, but he was informed it was the only one. He was desperate and you could just see it in his eyes that he was about to break.

Me, using the big, wrinkly brain that I had, told him to use the women’s restroom. He froze, not even realizing that that was an option.

Now before anyone complains, hear me out.

I would rather be in a restroom with a male in the stall next to me, than exit the restroom and see someone standing outside the men’s restroom trying to wait for a stall with a shit stain in his pants. Excuse the vulgarity, but it’s true.

If you’re ever at one of my tournaments and you need to go and no male restroom is unoccupied, for the love of god, please fucking use the women’s restroom. I do not need this mess on my hands and you best believe I’m shoving myself in the men’s restroom if I gotta fucking go expel unicorns and rainbows.

I go to the restroom with Kevin and stand awkardly on my phone to keep watch, because he didn’t want any of the staff members actually seeing him and risk himself getting kicked out of the venue.

That would’ve been extremely unfortunate.

Luckily, nobody else needed to go use the restroom while Kevin was in there and he was able to safely compete his duty (lol).

If anyone is upset at my suggestion, I’m sorry, but I wasn’t about to not provide such a simple solution for Kevin’s emergency.

Anyway, the tournament start shortly after that.

First match I pay attention to is Kevin vs. Wombat. In my head, I think it’s pools so I shouldn’t worry too much. I try to watch Kevin’s sets, but it makes me physically ill sometimes because my anxiety is wracked up like crazy and I just want to throw up. Many have witnessed me walking away and trying to distract myself multiple times at multiple different tournaments.

It’s like that gory horror movie that you can’t keep looking away from.

Besides knowing that I get sick, I figured it would be fine since I actually enjoy trying to support my boyfriend and watch him come out of pools winners’ side. Not meaning any disrespect by Wombat, by the way. He’s great. Just realistic. It’s like how I expect Kevin to lose to Bob.

Kevin loses Game 1.

Ooh my tummy’s doing barrel rolls like the way Twisty did with that pullout bed. I look away but I’m just so distracted by the crowd noises.

I totally get it, though. Obviously, it’s sick that Wombat’s holding his own against Kevin, who is seed 3 of the tournament. I’d be excited, too, if my friend was making an upset on someone else. But Kevin’s my boyfriend, so obviously, I want him to win.

Kevin barely wins Game 2 and I’m like ooooh boy. My tummy’s going to town and I think I gag a little by how sick I feel. Gotta focus on getting Joey his next match. *deep breaths*

When heartswaptv airs the whole tournament, definitely check out the set. It was really good (as far as I can hear, I couldn’t bring myself to watch the rest of it).

Kevin comes over to me after he’s out of pools and I scold him for making me worried.

AND YOU NOW WHAT HE SAYS?

Kevin: Babe, it’s fine - I almost lost to Zeddy at Redacted City and I got 2nd. I’ll be fine. Me: T____T *incoherent whining noises*

Does Kevin thinks he’s fucking cute for saying that or something? I was not amused.

Since I didn’t have to volunteer TO the entirety of the tournament, I bounced around mingling with other people.

At one point, I get a message from Suvir in our group chat about how he, Sosa, and Narq were planning on coming to visit NorCal. Of course, since Narq was already here, I decided to just go up to him and ask.

Me: So I heard you’re coming to NorCal? Narq: I am? Me: That’s what Suvir said. *shows phone* Narq: I guess I’m going to NorCal!

Suvir: Narq doesn’t actually know. Sosa just said he’d take him with him and said Narq would agree to go because he’s Narq. Me: Oh that makes sense why he had no idea what I was talking about.

It wasn’t until around top bracket did things start to pick up. Not too many spoilers, because (1) no spoilers before they upload the vod and (2) I have a terrible memory when it comes to the matches.

I remember holding up Kevin’s phone to stream to our Discord because we had some non-PM player friends who wanted to see and I think Kevin wanted Thomas (ThundeRzReiGN) to give him some advice throughout the tournament. Not actually coach, but to critique his play.

As more and more top players fell, Kevin made it a goal to do his best not to fall into the landmine that was Losers’. So many heavy hitters were large threats to him: Techboy, Malachi, Akimi, Cloudburst...

Not to say that Winners’ side didn’t have their fair share of monsters: Peter, Parker, Kumatora, Twisty, Nogh, Lunchables...

Kevin’s first match in Top 32 was against Bongo, who people sleep on quite a lot. For those of you that don’t know him, he’s a Captain Falcon from NY who actually beat Kevin at Flex Zone 3 in 2018. Kevin had beaten him at Encore, but it wasn’t easy.

Not to mention Falcon is a pain the butt for Mario. Unfortunately, the match was not recorded (as far as I know), and it was a very exciting match from what I heard. I avoided watching it because based on how long it took, I knew it had to have been a Game 5. During that time, two matches have been finished on “stream.”

Kevin had said his match against Bongo was the toughest one he had - not to discredit his other opponents, of course - but according to him, it was the scariest and closest. Also the threat of being put into Losers so early would’ve made the climb to Top 8 a lot harder.

His overall goal was actually to make Top 8. Despite being a third seed and rank 5, what I’ve noticed about Kevin is that he does have doubts about himself quite often. He’s never complacent in his opponents and worries all the time about being upset and I don’t think anyone puts more pressure on him more than himself.

As I watched my friends progress through bracket, all I can think is there’s not much I can do. I don’t understand the game very much, despite my heavy involvement in the scene. In fact, more often than not, I believe I understand the game the least compared to everyone else.

A tangent from the actual tournament itself is coming, but I think I should address why I’m even in this community:

While everyone loves the game, I love the community behind it. I find it worth it to sit/stand in one location for hours at a time because it allows my friends to enjoy the game they love comfortably without worrying how the tournament is progressing. They can focus on their own growth and passion.

I think what I see is completely different. Like I said, I don’t really understand this game - I can’t differentiate uairs, bairs, d-smashes, etc. I compute it in my head, but can’t visualize it. I don’t recognize most combos - in fact, more often than not, I’m sitting there just staring at the screen kind of blankly. Sometimes, it does make me wonder if I really am part of this community because I don’t really understand the game.

I can’t say I particularly care too much about the game, but I understand how much of an impact it’s made on me and for that, I’m very thankful for this game because it’s led me to some great people.

Back to the actual event and less sap. lol. Is anybody still even reading?

For something put together in a mere two weeks, Trin and their team did an amazing job. Three recording set ups, graphics, a pot, a venue... props to them for gathering the scraps and making a whole out of it. And to think we almost didn’t go.

Madeline (Swanner) ended up coming and it was honestly so good to see her. We aren’t particularly close, but she’s someone I’ve come to care for and just want happiness for her.

Major spoiler, but I don’t think anybody who cares about PM/P+ doesn’t know Kevin won the tournament.

Everyone expected a pop-off, but Kevin just sat there, crying.

I don’t think there’s ever been anything that Kevin has been more passionate about. He loves this game; he loves this community. Never did it ever occur to him that he would win.

I wish I could say more, but honestly, him winning stunned me speechless. And if you didn’t know, the first thing he said after was that he had to call his mother.

His mom is one of his biggest supporters and I love her to death. She has such a huge heart and has never, ever frowned upon Kevin’s love for the game, whole-heartedly supporting it.

I hugged Maddy, because I can’t even imagine how heart-breaking it must be for her to see what could have been on the mainstage. I imagined how much it must’ve hurt her because she just loves the game and the community, but to see it constantly be torn down by Nintendo and her unable to do anything... Give Maddy a hug and thank her if you see her. She deserves the world.

We ended up walking home with PNW, Bob, Mar, Bongo, Cameron (LoyaL), Ivan, and a few others, honestly too dark to completely see and name. It was a very nice night.

We did, however, pass by the rundown house that definitely looked like if we were to talk in there, we’d be killed by the axe murderer that lived there.

Kevin also lagged behind a lot because his phone notifications were going off like crazy and I was worried he was going to just get lost in the darkness or get hit by a car. Stop looking at your phone when you cross the street, dammit.

We got back to our hotel room and ordered pizza - it was bad. God-fucking-dammit, Ohio, why do you suck so much? Kind of a shitty dinner to end the day on, but nothing else was open at 2am. FeelsBadMan.

[realcube]

1k event | navi | masterlist 

parings ☆ among us au! alisa x reader 

content warning ☆ gore, major character death & angst 

(a/n) ☆ sandbox for @simplywicked​! thank you so much for the request despite the fact i made it angsty as hell :’( also, if you’re reading this and you are not @simplywicked then check down their amazing (less depressing) works @hajkyyuu​

you watched the cameras intensely, biting your nails as you watched people wander through the corridors, moving to and fro tasks – as if they were all unbothered by the fact there was a ruthless killer on board. speaking of which, you had yet to see anything suspicious: no venting, no faking tasks and most importantly, no murder. "hello!" you perked up at the sudden noise and whipped your head around to look for the source, which happened to be one of your fellow astronauts – pink, code name: haiba alisa. beads of sweat began to develop on your forehead under your helmet, "uh, h-hi." you stuttered, pressing you back against the edge of the control panel as you rapidly searched the room for a way to exit if she tried to attack you. "d-do you, um, need something?" she shook her head, a sweet smile adorning her gorgeous features which you could view due to the clear screen on her helmet. "well, i finished my tasks so i figured i may as well keep an eye on the security cameras for some leads. but i see you've already got that covered." she giggled, clasping her hands together and keeping her distance as she could tell how nervous you were – and rightly so. she was a tad anxious too but something about the way you presented yourself made her completely forget about the upspoken first rule of the ship; trust no one. you nodded, swallowing the lump forming in your throat in order to reply, "yes, i finished my tasks a while ago." you faltered, your mind momentarily blanking as you vaguely gestured to the cameras on display behind you. "i've not seen anything out-of-the-ordinary." pink smiled, cocking her head to the side as she slowly began to approach you, "that's wonderful – do you think i could join you? i'm quite bored and i want to put an end to this whole 'imposter' situation as soon as possible." you quirked a brow; if it was anyone else, you would've immediately denied the request, suggesting that they could bugger off to admin if they wanted to help so bad. but despite the fact you had only met this lady a few moments ago, you believed her completely. perhaps it was foolish of you to be so trusting under the current conditions but you had full faith in your intuition, and it said that alisa was being sincere. plus, if you were to die to her blade, that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. she's really pretty so perhaps she'll give a little kiss before you go. actually, the more you thought about it, the closer you got to realising that this circumstance has completely messed up your death perception. anyway, you shuffled over to allow her space at the control panel, "sure." you muttered, awkwardly rubbing the back of your neck as she skipped up beside you, halting as she got an eye-full of all the colourful, flashing buttons; along with the massive monitors that displayed what was going on in every corridor in the ship. "hey!" she squealed, not even having to go on her tip-toes to press her finger against the top screen due to her height, "that's my friend; yellow!" she beamed, looking over at you and being met by your shaky smile, as you tried to match her energy, "they're a crewmate like us, i'm sure of it! they were with me in medbay when the last incident happened." you followed her gaze to the screen and watched as yellow roamed the ship, seeming as though they had no true destination but that was understandable, perhaps they had finished their tasks too! although, it was a bit weird that they chose to use their spare time aimlessly wandering around instead of doing something productive. also, as much as you wanted to tell alisa that there was a vent from electrical – where said incident took place – straight to medbay, you didn't. you chose not to break the naïve girl's heart by accusing her friend of being the impostor. all that mattered was that she was away from them now and you could keep a close eye on them. a few minutes had passed where you both stood in silence, absentmindedly watching your fellow shipmates go around, chat and do their tasks. nothing suspicious had yet to happen. eventually, alisa broke the silence by turning to you and asking, "so what are you going to do when this is all over?" your eyes widened at her sudden inquiry, your breath hitching as you weren't prepared for her question and the last thing you wanted to do was embarrass yourself. "y-you mean, if i survive?" you questioned in attempt to you buy yourself time to think of an answer. alisa chuckled awkwardly, her optimistic attitude bringing you hope, "yeah. i'm sure we'll both survive this." you shrugged, wasting to time in blurting out the first reply you came up with, "i think i'm going to retire and just..settle down." "oh, yes! they're giving us the opportunity for an early retirement with pension after this, correct?" "if we live to see earth again, then yes." you murmured, not sparing her a glance as you adjusted the settings of the camera display. alisa gritted her teeth together, suddenly feeling the inside of her space suit rise in temperature but paying little attention to it as she tried to produce the most positive response she could, "i'm going to retire too! this whole ordeal has probably taken a decade off my life anyway." she joked, her slight smile becoming a toothy grin as she managed to elicit a laugh from you. both of your harmonious, unified laughs echoed throughout the security room, followed by even more banter, until alisa deadpanned, causing a cold chill to run down your spine. "(y/n)." she uttered in an uncharacteristically low voice. at first your throat ran dry at how she knew your name despite the fact you had yet to say it once, but then you remembered that there was a large 'MY NAME IS' tag stapled to your chest. "yes, alisa?" if she was using first names, you found it appropriate to use hers right back. she fell down onto one knee, causing you gasp at her sudden movement as your immediate thought was that she was having some sort of medical emergency, but she put an end to that thought when she gazed up at you with her enchanting emerald eyes, "would you do me the honor of--" your jaw fell as you watched her pull out a necklace from her company-provided satchel and offer it to you, "-of sharing a cabin with me when we reach earth." you let out a sigh of relief, thinking she was actually asking for your hand and marriage after meeting you 5 minutes ago; although, if did ask, then there was a voice in your head that’d urging you to say yes. however, sharing a cabin was almost equally as big of a commitment as marriage since y'all would share clothes, utilities, food and more for the next 5 years. "i'd love to." you hummed, hesitantly reach down to hover your shaky hand underneath the locket, "and what's this? i thought we weren't allowed to bring accessories on-board." alisa's lips curled into a mischievous smirk as she hopped to her feet, dropping the locket into your hand as she did so. "i snuck it on." your fingers delicately caressed the cold, silver metal of the necklace before flipping open the heart-shaped locket which hung at the end. inside was a small, compressed photo which was so miniature that you thought it was just an assortment of colours at first but upon closer inspection, you realised it was a photo of all the crewmates before take-off. "woah." you choked, your stare flickering between alisa and the equally as gorgeous locket she had given you. "this is beautiful." then, you proceeded to try give it back to her but she simply swatted your hand away. "it's yours now, (y/n)!" she sung, snatching it from your hand only so she could force it into your satchel. "so you have something to remember me by if i die." your blood ran cold as the buzz word fell from her lips, you were given a reality-check a bit too abruptly for your liking. "don't say that." you whispered, as if the imposter could hear you and would spring out at the mention of the word. eager to change the subject, you rummaged through your satchel in search of something to gift to her in return, "what can i give you to remember me by?" there was a few moments of silence between the two of you as alisa's eyes darted around the room, hunting for something of significance until her eyes landed on you once again; that's it! she raised her eyebrows as a lightbulb lit up above her head, "i have an idea." you hummed, instantly shifting your gaze off of your satchel and onto her, tilting your head slightly as you waited for her to elaborate. which she did, by slowly leaning in with pursed lips, her eyes closed so she couldn't see the perplexed expression painted on your face. before you knew it, the screen of her helmet clinked against yours, her strawberry-glossed lips pressed against it. once you realised it was a kiss she was perusing, you were swift in craning your neck forward to gently peck the helmet where both of your lips would meet – if it wasn't for the fact you were in space. though, your serene, romantic atmosphere was short-lived as the shrill noise of the disaster alarm suddenly went off, bright red lights flashing all around you and every camera view on the wall was replaced by an error message, meaning that there was an issue in electrical. you exchanged a look of concern before watching alisa sprinted towards the door – obviously with the intention of heading to electrical to fix this – so with a second thought, you followed. however, once your reached the door, alisa snapped her head around and fiercely pushed you back into security, "(y/n), you need to stay here, only one person has to go. you stand guard so nobody comes in here and brakes the screens." it was poor reasoning considering there was nothing you could do to possibly stop the impostor since you didn't possess a weapon, but it worked as alisa slammed the door behind her before rushing to electrical, leaving you isolated. your heart sunk watching her leave but you knew that if you were to tag along, you'd only be a hindrance to the endeavour to fix the wires. time passed painfully slowly, the shrieking noise from the alarm seemed to have been going on for ages and the flashing lights gave you a headache so you crawled underneath the control panel, curling yourself into a ball as you prayed for this all to be over soon. fortunately, the shrill noise was eventually put to an end and the lights went back to normal. you hesitantly emerged from the shadows to check if the screens still had the error message plastered on it and luckily, they didn't. you let out an audible sigh of relief as your eyes scanned every monitor in search of alisa but she was no where to be seen. time went on and the dread bubbling in your stomach only grew as she had yet to come out of electrical. a part of you reasoned that perhaps she was alive and well, simply chatting with an old friend of hers in the room and that's why she was taking so long but soon, the anxiety became too much for you to handle so you dashed straight out of security. sweat matted your hair to your forehead as you raced passed any other crewmates in your way. your breathing was frantic and it only grew worse as you reached the door to electrical. you stood like a statue, desperately trying to catch your breathe as the sensor scanned your iris before granting you access to the room. the doors slid open before your very eyes to reveal nothing, well, as far as you could see. though there was still more of the room which you couldn't see just from the entrance, so you called out, "hello?" silence. you weren't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing but either way, you were certain that you had to venture forward in search of alisa or anyone else that could inform you of her whereabouts. you set a trembling foot forward one after the other, on high-alert just in case someone where to jump out at you. after the door shut automatically behind you, darkness enveloped the whole room so you pulled out your flashlight, darting the focussed light around the room in search of leads; handprints, fingerprints, blood, anything. however, the coast was clear. inhaling sharply, you turned the final corner, your flashlight quickly mirroring your actions, shining it's bright light on a sight that you wished and prayed never to see. it was alisa, definitely; her bright pink suit was unmistakable. just not the way you wanted to see her: she lay unresponsive on the floor, pooling in her own gore, her expression undetermined as the screen of her helmet was cracked. it was as if your own soul had left your body and you had to view your trembling, stunned figure from afar because in that moment, you didn't have any control over your own form; you couldn't feel anything. despite the fact your hands were completely numb, you had been training for a moment like this since the day you had gotten the call that there was an imposter on-board, the moment where you'd have to report the body of your friend. so your hands subconsciously made their way down your trousers to grasp the bright red button which hung with a keychain on your belt. tears streamed down your cheeks, your legs soon giving out from underneath you. "alisa." you cried, wanting nothing more than to time-travel, or simply imagine an alternate reality where it was someone else, anyone besides her. the shrill noise of the disaster alarm began once again but this time, you weren’t sure if it was just in your head or not. a shadow loomed over you, the movement you caught a glimpse of from the corner of your eye but you were simply too paralyzed to move. your mind was fixated on alisa and alisa only – why couldn't it have been you instead? – but you still hoped that the figure was a just fellow crewmate, able to report the body now that your own limbs have failed you. but that wasn't the case.

[chocoluckchipz]

Will You Help Me, Marinette?

                                  Read it on A03, FF.net, WattPad

Halfway into her walk to work, Marinette’s phone chimed. An amused smile tugged at her lips. A new record. Usually, he’d text her first thing upon waking up. Had been for years. She was already starting to suspect something had happened.

Adrien: Help!

She rolled her eyes. If it were anyone else, she’d panic. But it was Adrien, an overgrown man-child to whose overly dramatic, exaggerated ways she was used to by now.

Marinette: I’m bringing you croissants. Don’t worry.

Adrien: U rock!

Adrien: But that’s not it. Can I ask you for a favour?

She stopped at the lights, looking around for cars and quickly ran across the street.

Marinette: Coffee? I’m about to walk by our café.

Adrien: Thanks, but not today. My photoshoot relocated at the last moment, so I won’t be in until much later in the day.  

Adrien: I’ll still meet you at our cafe for lunch. Don’t order without me.

Marinette: :thumbs-up:

One end of her scarf got loose and seeing as Adrien was still typing, Marinette stole a moment to fix it, swaddling her neck away from the crispiness of cool air on the early April morning.

Adrien: Marinette, you’re my best friend and the luckiest girl I know, and you’re super smart and creative, so if anyone, you’d know what to do, and I really can use help now in something super important.

Adrien::puppy eyes: Please?

She didn’t bother suppressing a giggle, attracting a few glances from a morning crowd around her. Turning the corner, Marinette inhaled a warm aroma of fresh baked goods from a nearby café. She grew up and still lived in a bakery. She should've been used to this kind of thing. Yet this one was special. It was close to Gabriel’s office, and Adrien and she loved to frequent it during their lunches.  

One of the servers waved at her, wishing her a good day. Marinette waved back, asking how their new kitten was adjusting. A brief exchange later, she walked on, a buzzing device in her hand reminding her of an unintentionally abandoned friend.

Adrien: T_T

Adrien: Are you ignoring me?

Adrien: Five minutes had passed. No answer. :sobbing:

Adrien: I thought we were friends? Friends help each other.  

Adrien: …

Adrien: You do still like me, right?

She couldn’t hold back a chuckle. Such a drama queen and an incorrigible dork. Though, no one would ever believe her if she’d say that out loud that because in the public eye a supermodel, part-time CEO of a fashion empire Adrien Agreste was perfect in every sense of this word. Only his closest friends knew better.

Marinette: I beg your forgiveness, Your Highness. I was distracted by Pierre. How can I help you?  

Adrien: :D You like me after all!

Marinette: I wouldn’t put up with your insufferable antics otherwise. Now, spill because I’m about to walk into the office and you’ll lose me five minutes after that.

Adrien: Okay.  

Adrien: So…

Adrien: I’ve decided…

Adrien: To confess to the love of my life.

Marinette froze in her path, her heart sinking. Tightening her grip on her cellphone, she stared at the screen in shock. Adrien was in love with someone? Why didn’t she know about that? They’ve been friends for years, so how did she miss that the love of her life was in love with someone else? Her quickening-its-pace heart ached as Adrien continued to type.

Adrien: I tried to confess to her on my own many times but chickened out every single one of them because I’m terrified of ruining what we already have if she doesn’t feel the same for it’s amazing and wonderful and absolutely beautiful, but I’m also at a point where I NEED more. It’s getting too hard to be just a friend.

Adrien: So, I’m risking it and I need you to help me. As my oldest and best-est friend ever you must help me. Please, say you’ll help me?

A knife Adrien didn’t know he’d stuck into her heart twisted, ripping through tender flesh. Marinette bit on her tongue and closed her eyes, breathing in deeply. She needed a moment before she could reply, so walking into Gabriel’s building, she proceeded to the elevator and didn’t check her phone until she was safely in her office, settled in her chair.

Adrien: Marinette?

Adrien: I hope I didn’t ask for too much. You’re the only one I can trust with this.

Adrien: If you’d rather not, though, it’s fine. I’ll figure this out somehow.

Adrien: Are you upset with me? I’m sorry. I didn’t think this would be a big deal.  

Adrien: … Please, say something.

Marinette read over the messages a few more times before dropping her head in her hands, propped on the table. This hurt. It ripped and crushed and devastated her, but as much as she’d love to run away and scream her pain out right now, Adrien was her friend first of all, and as his friend, she’d be supportive of him even if it hurt her.

Marinette: Sorry. I got distracted on my way. In my office now, so you have my full attention.

Adrien: T_T Don’t scare me like this. I already thought you hated me.

Marinette: Why would I hate you?  

Adrien: Idk. Just a thought. So, you’re in?

Marinette: Are you sure you want me involved? Love confessions are kind of personal.

Adrien: Mari, please. I’m twenty-three. I don’t want to die an old maiden because I’m too chicken to confess to the most amazing, gorgeous girl around.

Marinette stared at the phone. She was also twenty-three, and ten of those years, she’d spent loving Adrien. All in vain, it seemed now. And yet, she couldn’t find it in herself to regret a single moment because Adrien had been brightening her days ever since their mothers became friends at a random book club meeting all those years back. She couldn’t desert him now, even if she wanted to.

Swearing under her breath, she cursed her inability to say No to him once again and typed.

Marinette: Alright. Let’s start with the name of the lucky lady.

Adrien: Can’t tell you.

Marinette: Seriously?

Adrien: Yes.  

Marinette: How can I help you if I don’t know who she is?

Adrien: Keep me accountable. Bug me until I confess. Remind me every freaking minute that I can do it. Idk, threaten me or something. We’ve been friends for what? Almost fifteen years now? You know how I work and how to make me do things. That’s why I’m begging you and not Nino.

Marinette wished he’d asked Nino instead because helping Adrien confess to some girl was the least of Marinette’s desires.

Marinette: It’s going to be hard to suggest anything specific if I don’t know who she is, but fine. We’ll think of something. I get the front row seat at the wedding, though.

She wanted nothing less but Adrien couldn’t know that.

Adrien: Thank you! I’ll save you the best seat in the house… IF she accepts.

Marinette: Oh, please! You’ve got looks and money. Who would refuse you?

Adrien: See, that’s the issue: she knows me too well. She won’t be swayed by my looks or money. T_T Why do you think I’ve been stalling?  

Marinette: Your dorkiness is finally catching up with you?

Adrien: Meanie.

Marinette: :P I’m sure everything will be fine. Now, is there anything you can tell me about her?

Adrien: She works at Gabriel.

Marinette tried to swallow the knot in her throat. Of course. Adrien must be in love with one of the models. He worked amongst the most beautiful girls in France every day, and who was Marinette? A junior designer in his father’s company? Not ugly or a failure per se but she was nothing to be proud of also. Marinette was just a girl whom he’d known her for most of his life and whose every fault he’d witness more than she’d like to admit. Nothing new and exciting to catch his attention. She was an idiot to ever dare to dream of him.

Yet, gritting her teeth together and pushing the thought aside, Marinette typed a response because he was her friend and he needed her help.

Marinette: You can ask her out to lunch for starters? Take her to our cafe. I’m sure she’d love it there.

Adrien: …  

Adrien: But we always have our lunches together. I can’t betray you like that.  

Marinette: I’ll be fine. I have a few designs I need to finish today, so I’ll eat at the work cafeteria.

Adrien: They don’t have your favourite.  

Marinette: I can survive one lunch without an eclair. Or I can call Alya and meet up with her.

Adrien: Shoot. Gtg. Ttyl.

Marinette: Good luck.

Adrien: <3

Marinette put the phone away. dropping her head onto the table. They’ve been so close for years. How could she have missed that Adrien was in love with someone? Was she that blinded by her own feelings for him? If she wasn’t, maybe then she would’ve noticed and could’ve prepared herself and not feel this excruciating pain in her chest now.

Her phone chimed again. This time it was Alya, reminding her of their Friday night plans. Marinette briefly responded, not paying close attention to what she was saying, adding an invitation for lunch at the end. Not that she was eager to be in anybody’s company today, but it was better than sitting alone and obsessing over who Adrien’s lady-love was. She knew herself and right now she needed a distraction not to fall apart. So, pushing misery aside, Marinette pulled her work files and started on finalizing her sketches due by the end of the day.

Closer to noon, Adrien texted again. As he always did.

Adrien: Guess who’s all done and who’s so nervous about today, it showed in pictures and drove my photographer insane?

She bitterly chuckled. Classic Adrien.

Marinette: Nothing to be bragging about. I thought you were a professional?

Adrien: I am. That’s why I’m done already. All you have to do is to imagine spaghetti. :3

Marinette: Dork.

Adrien: Proudly so.

Adrien: Marinette, thank you. I REALLY appreciate you being with me on this one. Honestly, I just can’t do this alone, and I wanted to do this for so long now, I’m desperate. So, your help means a lot.  

I don’t want to help you, Marinette grumbled to herself.

That’s what friends are for, right? she wrote instead.

Adrien: She’s just so amazing, it terrifies me to lose her, but I can’t imagine myself being with anyone else. We’re perfect for each other. I hope you’ll agree with me once you’ll see who I’m talking about.  

Adrien: Okay, I’m downstairs. I’ll drop by after I see Father.

Marinette: Cool. See you soon.

She put her phone on the desk, pushing her designs away. Tears, successfully withheld by the distraction of work, surfaced at the corners of her eyes, as the reality of what was going on hit again. Adrien was in love with someone and that person wasn’t her despite Marinette’s most daring hopes because otherwise, Adrien wouldn’t be asking her for help.  

Someone opened the door, walking in without an invitation. Marinette quickly wiped away the lingering moisture in her eyes. Adrien couldn’t see her crying or he’d know she was less than happy about this confession of his. She was heartbroken, but for his sake, she'd keep a brave face and smile until the end.

“Lila?”

“Didn’t except me?” The woman walked closer and settled in a chair opposite Marinette, a mug of coffee in her hand.

“Not really,” Marinette replied coldly. She hated Lila for lies and manipulations. Why M Agreste hired her as a model was beyond her. “What do you want?”

“I’ve come to warn you,” Lila said, ceremonially checking her nails.

Marinette quirked an eyebrow. “About what?”

Lila smirked, putting her mug down on a table. “Adrien and I are going public today, and we’d like you to stay out of it.”

Marinette inwardly growled. There was no way that could’ve been true! Yes, Lila was not so subtly trying to get Adrien’s attention for a while now, but as far as Marinette knew, Adrien was tolerating her antics only out of innate politeness and kindness of his heart, not affection.

“You’re lying,” she seethed. “Adrien had never mentioned—”

“That’s because he knew you don’t like me, and he wanted to spare your feelings since you’re his friend and all.” Lila shrugged. “But we’ve been secretly dating for a while now. Not anymore, though.” She smirked. “Adrien’s taking me out for lunch on our first official date today. But, to make it easier for everyone, I thought I’d warn you”—Lila’s face became stone-cold, her voice and glare matching—“stay out of my boyfriend’s life or you’ll regret it, Marinette.”

“What if I won’t?” Marinette barked without thinking twice. “He’s my friend. I have a right to—"

“You have absolutely no rights when it comes to my boyfriend.”

“I won’t believe it until I hear it from him personally.”

“You shall see it on the news tonight."

Lila’s sly smile promised nothing good as she stood up, picked up her coffee, and turned around to leave. Her hand swayed. Marinette’s blood ran cold because the mug in Lila’s hands tipped over, all of the coffee inside spilling all over Marinette’s desk, her sketches and her outfit. “Oops! Clumsy me.”

“You!” Marinette rushed to save what she could of her work.

“Stay away from Adrien or this will only be the start,” Lila whispered, leaning closer. “He’s mine.”

“Oh my gosh! What happened here? Marinette, are you alright?” Adrien suddenly appeared by her side.

“Adrien,” Lila cooed. “You’re just in time. We have to help Marinette. She spilled her coffee all over her hard work.” She picked up a few coffee-drenched papers, making a show out of trying to save them. “You’re such a klutz, girl. Let me help you before you do any more damage.”

Marinette glared at Lila, pressing her lips into a thin line.

“Marinette, are you okay?” Adrien took her by the shoulders and turned to face him.  

“Of course, she isn’t,” Lila interfered. “Just look at her: the poor thing’s all soaked. And doesn’t she look pale to you? She might be getting sick. We should ask your father to give her a day off. Or better yet send someone to do that. We don’t want to be late for lunch. I'll go call someone.”

The moment Lila stepped out of the room, Marinette looked at Adrien and asked, “Are you really taking her out for lunch?”

Adrien pressed his lips together, looking away as he nodded.

Lost for words, lost for actions, lost for anything, all Marinette could do was to stare at the ground.

“It’s not—”

“Oh my gosh! Marinette, what happened?” Alya pushed Adrien to the side and took her friend by her shoulders. “You’re all soaked.”

“Found her wandering down the hall,” Lila looped her hand around Adrien’s arm. “She’s here to pick up Marinette for lunch which reminds me that we need to go now or we’ll be late for our reservation. The girls can take care of this mess by themselves, right Marinette?”

Marinette wanted nothing more than to slap Lila and take Adrien away. He deserved so much better! How could he fall for Lila? Didn’t he see what kind of a person Lila was? Didn’t he know how she felt about her? How could he ask her advice on this? Tears pooled in her eyes. Adrien was her best friend. She loved him, but this hurt too much. It felt too much as a betrayal, and if Adrien cared for her so little as to ask her for advice on how to woo her enemy, then Marinette didn’t want him to see how much that pained her.

“I’ll be fine with Alya.” Marinette turned away to gather her papers. “This is my mess; I’ll clean it up. You should go.”

“What’s going on here?” Gabriel Agreste himself appeared behind them.

“Marinette spilled coffee all over herself and her work,” Lila rushed to explain.

“Father, I think—”

“You should clean up and take a day off,” Gabriel interceded. “I’ll give you an extension on those. Now, Adrien. Why are you still here? Don’t you have lunch to go to?”

Adrien glanced at Marinette, then to his father. His lips pressed into a thin line. “Yes, I do.”

"Then off you go. Mlle Dupain-Cheng would be fine without you.”

“Right.” Adrien reached forward to lightly touch Marinette’s elbow. “I’ll call you later,” he mouthed and walked out the room with Lila Rossi on his arm.

Adrien didn’t contact her until the very evening when exhausted from the day, Marinette put the work she took home away and went for a stroll.

Adrien: Hey. Sorry, I had a few things to settle. How are you?

She closed her eyes for a moment, before looking back at the Seine. The gentle lure of waves calmed. It mesmerized and relaxed. Marinette always came here when she was stressed, or tired, or needed a pick me up. She couldn’t explain it, but there was something soothing and healing about gazing at the passing-by waters of the Seine. Her own safe haven, a little oasis in the desert of stress and chaos. Today, Marinette needed it more than ever.

Adrien: Marinette? Is everything okay?

No. Nothing was okay, and she’d rather not talk to him now, but… years of friendship and her treacherous heart demanded otherwise. He hurt her, but it was also him, who she wanted to comfort her right now. Pathetic, she knew that, but better texts than face to face.

Marinette: Everything’s fine. Taking a walk.

Adrien: Where are you off to?

Marinette: [image 1509]

Adrien: Pont des Arts?

Marinette: You know your Paris well.

Adrien took five minutes to reply, but when he did, he did so in person. “I know you well. You always come here when you need to calm down or to think things over.”

Marinette whipped around. Adrien was standing just a few meters away. Trying to catch his breath, he ran his hands through his dishevelled hair to fix it back in somewhat decent shape.

“Adrien? What are you doing here?”

“I need to ask you something.” He walked closer, stopping only when Marinette was pressed flash against the bridge, his hands on either of her sides, his face inches from hers. "Why didn't you expose her?”

Marinette blinked. “What?”

“You didn’t spill that coffee. Lila did. And don’t even try to deny it. You never bring drinks in your office unless it’s in an air-tight container because you think you’re too clumsy.”

Marinette shifted her eyes to the side. “I am clumsy.”

“Just a tiny, adorable amount. Nothing serious.” He cocked his head to the side. “So? Why did you let her get away with it?”

Marinette looked away. She hated Lila and Adrien knew that. What did he expect her to say? Why did he even come here? He should go back to that liar girlfriend of his.

“It’s so unlike you. I want to know what’s going on.”

She didn't know what to answer him, so she remained silent.

“Marinette, please? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

“Then look me in the eyes and repeat that.”

She tried and failed. Adrien sighed and pulled her into his arms, whispering into her ear. “Marinette, please. Why did you allow her to walk all over you? You never did that before. What’s happened? You know I won’t leave you alone until you tell me.”

She closed her eyes. The gentle tone of his voice, the comforting wrap of his arms around her, his body’s warmth so close to hers… It stirred those damn butterflies at the pit of her belly, ripping through her heart at the same time… because he’d betrayed her. He’d fallen in love with the only girl whose guts Marinette hated more than anything and there was nothing either of them could do because who could control their heart? Adrien couldn’t help loving who he did… which, however, didn’t mean he could be so inconsiderate of her. He knew she hated Lila!

“Marinette?”

She pushed him away. It hurt to remain in his embrace any longer.

“Mari…”

“Leave me alone. Go to your girlfriend.”

His eyes widened as he stared at her in shock. “My girlfriend?”

“Lila.”

“Lila?!”

“Yes, Lila,” Marinette huffed, turning her back to him, her face to the Seine. “Can’t believe you had the audacity to ask me of all people for advice on that. You know how I feel about her!”

Her eyes focused on the rolling waves as Marinette waited for an answer that didn’t come for a few moments and not until Adrien walked to stand beside her, searching her face with his eyes.

“Just to make sure I understood you correctly: you think I’m in love with Lila?”

“Aren’t you? You took her to lunch just as you said you would.”

Adrien laughed, leaning on his arms to rest on the bridge. “Marinette, you know me better than that. I took Lila to lunch only because my father blackmailed me to do so.”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “A likely story.”

“No, really. He said Lila dug some dirt on him and her price for silence was me. And Father, knowing you’re my friend, threatened to fire you if I won’t comply.”

Marinette looked at him, her eyebrows knitted into a frown. “What?”

“Don’t worry, your job is safe, and I made it clear to both of them that I’m not taking part in any of their bullshit. If Father wants her silence, he’d better pay for it some other way.” Gently, Adrien cupped her shoulder, turning Marinette to face him. “Seeing what she did to you… it made me angry. I wanted nothing more than to protect you at that moment, and the best way to do that was to deal with the cause once and for all. So, I trusted Alya to take care of you, and I went with Lila only to ensure she won’t be troubling you again. And after that, I visited Father and we had a long talk about the situation. He won’t be bothering either of us again as well.”

Marinette stared at him for a few seconds before muttering without thinking. “What did you do?”

“Nothing significant. I explained to Father how serious I was about quitting Gabriel the moment you’re fired and we both know he can’t afford me walking out. Not with me owning half of the company in my mother's shares. Lila, though, was harder to get through. She kept dismissing me until I pretty much avenged you. Then she got the message loud and clear.”

As in a haze, she echoed, “What did you do?”

Adrien grinned. “I might have placed my plate of spaghetti in a strategic place for it to be accidentally tipped over and end up all over Lila.”

Marinette gasped. “What?!”

His grin widened. “I only placed it in the spot. She did all the job herself, and”—he leaned closer—“there might have been a reporter close by and he might have taken pictures if you are interested.”

“What? How?”

Adrien chuckled. “Lila hired someone to ‘witness’ and report on our ‘first date’. The guy reached out to me later to see if I wanted to buy the embarrassing pictures of ‘my girlfriend’ from him. I wasn’t interested, but I saved his card in case you are.”

Marinette stared at him for a moment, then erupted with laughter. “You’re horrible.”

“She deserved so much more after what she did to you.”

“Still, spaghetti?”

“Just using her own methods against her, and only because she wouldn’t listen to me when I was nice.”

Marinette chuckled. “Dork.”

“And you like me that way, don’t you?”

“I do,” she smiled, relaxing against the railing. She looked up at the stars and breathed in. So many worries for nothing. She should've trusted Adrien more.  

“Marinette?”

She hummed, turning to him.

He looked hesitant, moving closer. “Were you jealous?”

Marinette squeaked, her face flaring crimson, as she shook her head. “No! Why would I be jealous? I—”

“You looked like you were jealous.”

“No, I wasn’t!” Her face burned hotter with every moment.

Adrien chuckled before turning serious and reaching out to cup her face in his hands. His touch, gentle and warm, sent electrical current down Marinette’s body. He slowly started to lean in. Her eyes widened with realization, fluttering close the moment his lips hesitantly brushed against hers.

“The girl I’m in love with is you, Marinette,” Adrien whispered, searching her face for a reaction. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and I’m the fool who couldn’t find the courage to confess to you for years without asking you to keep me accountable because I’m terrified my feelings will ruin our friendship, but I can’t keep it in anymore. I love you, Marinette.”

Dumbfounded, Marinette stared back at him wide-eyed. “Me? You love me?”

His lips tugged in a hopeful smile as he nodded. "Will you give me a chance? I promise I’ll make you happy if you’ll let me be more than just a friend.”

Marinette forgot how to breathe. “Adrien—I… I don’t understand. You said—I thought—”

She froze, seeing his face saddened, and shook her head. No! What was she doing? She’d dreamed of this moment for years and now that it was finally here, why was she stalling?

He slowly pulled his hands away.

She couldn’t let him misunderstand her even if her reaction was puzzling to her herself, so she grabbed the collar of his coat and pulled him down, crushing her lips against his.

Adrien stilled. Then wrapped his arms around her and angled his head to deepen the kiss. She let him press forward, pushing her against the railing of the bridge as their lips moved heatedly in tandem, years of pinned-up love and desire spilling out. It was only when the air became a necessity, she pulled away breathless and smiled at him.

“I love you too, Adrien. Have been for years.”

His face lit up.

“And just like you, I was too scared to confess. Looks like we’re both hopeless idiots.”

Adrien pulled her closer, burying his face in the crook of her neck as he pressed a lingering kiss to a patch of exposed skin he found there.

“I’ve wanted to do this for years,” he whispered.

“You could’ve if you’d asked,” Marinette replied, running her fingers through his hair.

He leaned into her touch, almost purring from the pleasure. “Can I now?”

“Yes.”

He growled lowly, tightening his hold on her. “Mine.”

She giggled, wrapping her hands around his neck. “Possessive much?”

“Very.” He grinned. “Marinette?” Without letting her go, Adrien pulled a key with a ladybug keychain on it out from his pocket. “Will you also consider moving in with me?”

“What?” Marinette blinked. “Right away?”

He shrugged. “It’s not like we need time to get to know each other better. We grew up together. We know what makes us tick and what we like. Why wait?”

Marinette smiled. Adrien was right. They did know each other well. And it wasn’t like she hadn’t dreamed of sharing her days, her nights, her happy and sad moments, her dreams and fears, her life, her everything with him for years. Why wait indeed? “I’d love to move in with you.”

Adrien grinned harder and pulled her in for another kiss. Slow and sweet, filled with longing, and need, and desire.

“In that case,” he added, his voice raspy as he drew away and, pulling a small box out of his pocket, dropped on one knee. “Will you also consider marrying me?”

Marinette gasped as Adrien revealed a gorgeous ring inside.

“Adrien, you’re insane. What are you doing?”

“I thought I’ll ask everything in one go,” he admitted. “It took me years to confess, and I don’t want to wait that long for the next step. So why not? We can have a long engagement if you want, or you can say No now and I’ll ask again la—”

“No, you really are insane,” Marinette kneeled beside him, cupping his cheeks and kissing him slowly. “How can I say No to you?”

He grinned. “Is that a Yes then?”

“That’s a Yes.”

He held her gaze for a few moments, giving her that goofy, happy smile of his before shaking off his stupor and sliding the ring on her finger. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy in my life.”

“Me too.”

“I already looked up hamsters in my local pet store. They’re keeping a few for us to choose from until next week,” Adrien murmured. “You did want a hamster, right? Three kids and a hamster. We'll start with the hamster and add kids later—"

Marinette laughed and grabbed him by his coat’s collar again, pulling him closer.

“As much as I’d love to talk kids and hamsters with you,” she whispered. “Right now, I need you to kiss me senseless. Leave the rest for later.”

A lovesick smile tugged at his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Marinette echoed, weaving her arms around his neck, losing herself to the caresses of the man she loved more than anything.

[colorseeingchick]

Congratulations on 200 followers! 🎉 For your celebration event, may I please have a self-ship date? You can call me 🦇, I’m 23 and use she/her pronouns. I ship myself with Kiyoshi Teppei from KnB. I admire his determination and passion, and he’s just so…lovable, you know? He’s kind, loyal, charmingly goofy but also responsible and clever. Being famous for his big, strong hands is also a plus. 👀 I’d describe myself as confident but not arrogant, strong-willed, and free-spirited. In groups I tend to be kind of a daydreamer/wallflower type, but I like being pulled out of my shell. I love surprises and new experiences; I’ll try pretty much anything once. In a relationship I’m thoughtful and supportive but kind of awkward about giving and receiving affection (even though I like it). Some of my likes/hobbies are baking and making drinks (coffee and cocktails), gardening, and watching movies (mostly horror, science fiction, and documentaries). I’m not sure if this is a talent, but I’m also really good at trivia? Like both trivia competitions (which I take very, very seriously) and also just remembering random stuff. Thank you so much, and congratulations again! Can’t wait for the 500 followers event! 😉 - 🦇

AHHHH I ALSO LOVE KIYOSHI Iron heart stole your heart huh :D ...okay enough with corny jokes onto the date!

Premise: You and Teppei have been friends for a yearsss now. I feel like you met him when he came to the States- either you live in the state he went to, or you happened to be there by chance as well. Regardless, you guys would become good friends, close enough to the point where you didn’t feel uncomfortable with being physically close to him. He definitely took time to get to know you, given that you seemed a bit shy at first. But in the process of getting to know you, he also started to fall for you (secretly). Which is why he took a chance and asked you out on a date. Once you said yes, he took it from there.

You: Teppei, you know our date is today, right?

Teppei: How could I forget?

You: But you haven’t told me what we’re doing

Teppei: It’s a surprise ;) you like those don’t you?

You: Lol yes But...

Teppei: Do you trust me?

You: Ofc I do

Teppei: great. Then I’ll pick you up at 6. :)

You were nervous, if you were being honest. You dressed in what you felt the most confident in, but also comfortably because that’s what he instructed you to do.

When you got the text that he was outside your door, you felt your heart race as you approached the car, even though you’d driven around with him a number of times.

Kiyoshi jumps out the car and runs around the other side to give you a hug (his hugs are the best, tight and firm, but not crushing) before opening the door for you.

“I’m liking this special treatment,” you jest.

“I have to treat my date special, what type of man would I be otherwise?”

After getting back in the car, he hands you a blindfold. “Put this on.”

“Don’t you think you should at least buy me dinner first, Teppei?” You ask, holding up the blindfold. You’ve never seen him get that flustered before, but watching his face erupt in red and hearing him struggle for words was really funny, and cute.

“N, No it’s not like that I just- I really want it to be a surprise! Okay? You can’t say things like that..” He uses his large hands to cover his cheeks and mouth, trying to hide his embarrassment.

After taking a moment to laugh at him, you comply, trusting that he would keep you safe.

The drive is comfortable, easy conversation between you two telling jokes and catching each other up on the week. You barely notice once you get to the location.

Teppei helps you walk by holding your hand in his, the other one on the small of your back (in case you trip and he needs to catch you). Once he has you in place, he whispers “you can take it off now.”

As you pull the blindfold off your eyes, you gasp as you see a beautiful small garden around you, a large blanket spread out with pillows and a basket placed on it. In front was a large screen and a little projector angled up at it.

“Teppei, what is all this?”

You turn to see him rubbing the back of his neck. “I talked to a lot of your friends to try and figure out what I wanted to do for our date, and I couldn’t make up my mind so I decided to combine a bunch of them. A picnic with drinks, a movie night, and I know you love gardens, so-”

“How did you do all this though?”

“Oh, Alex helped me pull a few strings to get the garden and projector, and everything else I bought.” He pauses, looking up at you with a determined glint in his eyes. “Do you like it?”

You take a few steps to bound towards him before throwing your arms around him, hugging him tightly, “I love it, Teppei. Anything you would’ve done, I would’ve loved. But this is more than I could’ve imagined.” Looking up at him, his features soften as he smiles at you, his large arms wrapped around you.

“Good. I’m so glad. Let’s get started then, shall we?”

~~

Curled up on the pillows with another blanket thrown over you, you’re curled up against Kiyoshi’s side. You’ll admit, you were a bit hesitant to get that close to him (nerves), but when he saw the way your hand slowly migrated towards him, he held your hand and pulled you so that you were cuddled against him. He didn’t hesitate to hug you tight as a horror movie played and snacks were in your laps.

After the horror movie, you guys decided to play a documentary, pull out some alc (yes you are both 23 now), and just exist together. He listens attentively as you add on small facts to the documentary.

“You know so much. I wish I was that smart.” He rubs your side as he praises you.

“Thank you, I pride myself on my memory.” You say back, leaning into him.

“You should. It’s amazing.” As Kiyoshi checks his watch, he asks you “It’s late, so let me know if you want me to take you back, okay?”

“Trying to get rid of me?” Making fun of him is easy.

But this time he just smiles. “If I could have it my way you’d stay with me all night.”

That has you flustered, but you find it hard to break eye contact.

“You can say no, okay?” He asks.

You don’t know where he’s going with this.

“Can I kiss you?”

As you think about how close you two had been for the past years, and how much you found yourself loving him over time, you laugh at the question.

You weren’t the best at showing affection, but you weren’t gonna turn it down from the man you’d fallen for.

“Yes.”

And so he does. He grabs your chin with one hand and wraps the other around your back, holding you tight, while he leans in and kisses you the way he’s been dying to do for years now. And he holds you there for as long as you’ll let him.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

AHHHH I definitely got carried away with this but I hope you enjoyed! It got a lil ~spicy~ at the end too so I hope that was okay! If it made you uncomfortable I will literally go back and edit it if you want do not hesitate to tell me. Thank you for requesting a self-ship date though! This was so fun to write :)

[sadviper]

2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Succumbing to peer pressure, haha, thank you @rain-hat, @smylealong, @ibelongtomousse, @macgyver-sheriff, @avauntus for tagging me~

It seems the common refrain is that this was the year everyone exploded into massive creative productivity after years of nothing, which is the exact same story for myself. I had read all the strategies of course: write 5 min a day, 1 sketch a day, don’t think about quality, do *something* just to keep the spark alive, etc etc, but it just got worse and worse. Honestly, I had been feeling so dire about it that I had made up my mind to stop trying anymore, because it was so depressing to try and fail so many times that it was much better to not hope at all.

Buuuuut.....then quarantine and telework happened, and woooah, guess what, all I needed was LOTS of time and space to myself where I’m not wasting it in an office checking emails and doing random training to fill all the downtime!!!

Much thanks to the serendipity that had me stumbling into @rain-hat , reading her early JY/KSR fics, and her encouraging me to go ahead and write that office yearly budget oneshot for TKEM (who writes BUDGET fics?? Who reads them???? lol). That’s not in my list here because it was very new and awkward, it was definitely the ball that got everything rolling.

Cut for super long-winded rambling:

1) Before There Was Zero (TKEM)

This was my first big fanfic in my life, and my most popular, and it absolutely gushed out of me in this massive torrent of *I MUST WRITE* where I would walk around at lunchtime giggling to myself, and type on my phone as I went, or wake up at 1am to scrawl something in a notebook in the dark because I couldn’t stop the words from coming. (How I miss that feeling now! ;__;) Actually, it also is the 2nd fully complete long-form story I had ever completed as well, so...lots of milestones here.

Looking back, it clearly was the product of my years of bottled up silence, where I stewed and dragged myself to the office every day wondering if I was going to calcify in a bureaucracy for the rest of my life (yes). But even as an office drone, I learned a lot of valuable lessons in how to manage, what leadership actually is at the worker bee level, the types of games white-collar workers play, and how to be a decent co-worker (and by extension, a decent human being--I don’t believe it’s possible to separate work life and private life. All your personas are you). It wasn’t all a waste after all!

Somehow I connected my day-to-day to the faceless, long-suffering Royal guardsmen in TKEM, headed by the utterly gorgeous, devastating, thoroughly underutilized, comedic prop military action star Jo Yeong, and thought--yeah! :D

2) Nil Desperandum (TKEM)

My biggest fic by far, full novel length at this point, massive in scope, I don’t even know how I came up with it based on the 10 collective seconds of screen time that Jeong Tae-ra and tyrant Jin got as a joke, but I was clearly still on that dam-gushing-pent-up-creative-high because this idea was fighting me when I was in the middle of writing “Before There Was Zero”.

I actually figured out the title while watching “Call the Midwives” where one of the peppy, indefatigable British nurses said to never despair, and I thought, yes, that’s it. All the horrible things I put my tyrantverse characters through, it was only so that when I save them at the end, it will be completely worth it. It’s a bit more violent (nothing beyond My Country levels tho) and quite emotionally dark, but I also tried to inject a lot of friendship, humor, and love into it as well, because there must always be hope.

For My Country fandom friends who didn’t realize, the tyrant!Yeong in this fic is essentially modernAU!Seon-ho, and I lifted Sung-rok entirely from My Country to be tyrant!Yeong’s second-in-command and loyal-superstar-extraordinaire. Writing them in this modern AU, and seeing the positive reception to Sung-rok’s grouchy, dogged devotion was the start of my love spiral for Sung-rok. <3 <3

3) The Veritable Records of King Taejo (My Country)

Going to cheat and lump 3 fics (soon to be 4) into one link. I rested a little bit after “Nil Desperandum” because I had completely emptied myself out at that point, just a husk of an author shell. Then I started poking out oneshots! Each one got progressively harder to write, lol, the creative gas tank was running out of juice, so I had to really start figuring out new strategies as a writer to keep going. One magic tool was coercing recruiting @rain-hat to beta for me, and WOW, THE BEST???? Who would’ve thought it’d be FUN to be edited!!! <3 Due to her efforts, I could avoid the “no beta we die like Liaodong” tag, hahaha.

I grew up watching cop shows, lawyer shows, monster-of-the-day shows, endless procedurals-- so I was super miffed that the drama would imply that Seon-ho spent YEARS just single-mindedly chasing private armies??! No! I want more family and friends development for this sad, dramatic whump child! I want him to be smarter than the show, inherently brilliant despite the stupid he descends into, and be recognized as such by the people who do recognize his value! And I want them all to be happy with no pointless death!

Also, the 4th WIP is now a Sung-rok lovefest written as an ode to his awesomeness, has stretched to 47K+ words, and is being an absolute royal pain to finish. ;__; All the ease and creative fervor from earlier? GONE. I’m a lone salmon flopping upstream on a ladder. I might get eaten before I finish laying my eggs. Any one have tips to get over this?

4) First Translation of Woo Do Hwan Japanese Interviews

More firsts! So much thanks to @ibelongtomousse to inspiring and encouraging me to do some real translating after talking to her about her sublime TKEM fics and translations thereof, and @staidwaters from emerging from the Internet depths to boost/correct my neophyte efforts! I’m now chomping at the bit to do more, even though I may ultimately discover that these interviews have absolutely nothing interesting to say, lol. But my first priority is simply to get better at the language, and 2nd priority is to soak in the words (and photos) of Woo Do Hwan, hahahah. Also, as far as I can tell, no one is filling this niche, so I guess I’ll keep going??

5) Fanart!

I started drawing again! As a procrastination tactic from writing oneshots, but it still was really nice to see that I hadn’t lost the touch entirely. I feel like I’ve mentioned this here and there, but writing wasn’t my first interest--drawing was. Animals first, then people once I discovered anime/manga. I went all into drawing comics, only to face the hard reality that I didn’t know how to tell a story end-to-end. Hence how I started trying to write. Along the way, things happened--I got RSI and had to stop drawing/writing for awhile. I discovered that pictures are NOT worth a thousand words, esp when it comes to long-form comics; my preferred tools of trade (dip pens) ended up exacerbating my RSI problems; then once I got a handle on my RSI, I found I could type faster than I can ever draw, and so here I am. I saw what @convenientalias was doing with their My Country werewolf fic though, so I am excited to try that for my Sung-rok WIP? :D

I think I’m the last hold out among artist/writer friends in answering this wrap-up, hope you enjoyed reading!