#It was also illegal competitive Go with bets and cheating and stuff

[salvadorbonaparte]

I also watched an entire film about Go which I also don't know anything about except that it's very old and difficult and I also know very little to nothing about chess or poker but it came up in films often enough that I was vaguely familiar with some vocabulary or could guess if things were going well. With Go I was completely lost but it added a lot of suspense lol

[psychepng]

unless you wanna taste defeat

“Whoever’s squad solves more cases in six months wins, and Major Crimes can’t steal any cases from the nine-nine.” Jake answers. “Fine.” Amy agrees. She sticks out her hand for an official handshake. ------- An AU told in five bets, in which Amy works for Major Crimes, and Jake kind of hates her for it.

read here on ao3 or below the cut!!

Bet #1.

It is not the first Cop Con that Jake Peralta has ever attended, but it’s the first one where a small woman — who is way too drunk considering that the party has just started — has challenged him to an arm wrestling match.

“Hey Garrett, I bet I can beat you in an arm wrestling match!” Jake hears someone shout behind him. He turns around and sees a woman giggling and holding a red solo cup in her hand. “Hey Garrett,” the woman says to Jake, her r’s slightly slurred.

It takes the woman a full second to realize that Jake is not Garrett. She throws her head back in laughter when she realizes that Jake is not the man she was looking for. “Sorry. I thought you were uh, my friend. But still… I could totally beat you in an arm wrestling match.” The woman raises her left arm and flexes her muscles. Jake laughs.

“Yeah, you definitely can.”

“Hey! I’m serious! I’m strong!” the woman argues. “You, me, that coffee table over there. I’m gonna crush you… whoever you are.”

“Alright, fine.” Maybe it’s the alcohol running through his veins, maybe it’s his competitive spirit, or maybe it’s just the way the woman in front of him is giggling between sentences, but Jake agrees to arm wrestle the woman in front of him. He walks over to the coffee table and sits on one side. The woman ungracefully plops her butt down on the floor, across the table from Jake, and places her right arm in arm wrestling position. Jake grabs her arm. The woman counts from one to three, and on the three, Jake easily brings the woman’s arm down.

“No fair! You cheated! I wasn’t ready!” the woman exclaims.

“Hey, I won fair and square.” Jake says.

“I want a rematch,” the woman says, her voice dripping with ice. They reset their arms, and the woman begins counting down again. Jake easily takes her arm down again. She asks for a rematch again. And, being the perfect gentleman he is, Jake obliges her request again. Jake wins ten times before the woman does something other that accuse him of cheating.

“Hey… let’s make this interesting.” the woman says as she and Jake ready their arms for an eleventh match. Immediately, Jake freezes. Despite how many drinks he has had tonight, JAke is still ten million times more sober than the drunk woman in front of him, and if any of her suggestions involve anything more compromising than a simple arm wrestling match (or eleven), he just might never forgive himself.

“Like… a bet?” Jake asks.

“No, not like a bet. It is a bet,” the woman says a little bit too proudly. “I don’t know who you are, so how about if I win, then you tell me your name and where you’re from. If you win, which you will not, I’ll tell you my name.”

“Sure, why not?” Jake asks. The woman smiles and begins the countdown. This time, as she hits three, Jake relaxes his arm and lets her win. It’s the least he could do, considering he absolutely destroyed her ten times already.

“I told you I could beat you!” the woman cheers.

“I’m Jake, by the way!” Jake yells as a particularly loud and bass-heavy song starts playing. “I’m from Brooklyn! Nine nine!” As the beat drops, the woman hops up onto the coffee table to do a victory dance. It is the worst dance Jake has ever seen, complete with arm flapping motions that make the woman look like a baby bird who doesn’t know how to fly, and butt movements that are entertaining in all of the wrong ways. Before Jake can pull his phone out and begin recording the worst/best dance he has ever seen, a man and a woman, presumably the woman’s friends come out of the crowd of drunk partygoers to coax Amy off of the coffee table.

“I am so sorry about her,” the man says. Jake assumes that he is Garrett, considering the way the woman in front of him exclaims “I was looking for you!” when she sees him.

The other woman has black hair with red highlights, and Jake hears the woman he’d been arm wrestling with call her Phoebe.

Garrett and Phoebe drag the woman away from Jake, and it is the way that the woman is giggling that reminds Jake that he has friends of his own, friends that he hasn’t seen for a while. Jake stands up and begins looking for his friends. He finds Rosa aggressively chugging a whole bottle of vodka like it’s water and Gina excitedly livestreaming the entire ordeal for her five thousand followers. Meanwhile, Charles is talking to a plant about the merits of wooden versus rubber spatulas. Jake pulls Charles away from the absolutely riveting spatula debate, and they spend the rest of the night together, drinking and laughing and pretending that they’re the kings of Cop Con.

It is not until the next morning, during the actual convention, that Jake runs into the woman from the previous night. They are both walking around the convention floor when they approach the same exhibit. As Jake notices the robot cop displayed by the booth, the woman notices him.

“Hey, you’re Jake from Brooklyn,” the woman says to him. Jake turns his gaze from the booth to the woman. It is his first real look of her, lit by bright fluorescent lighting instead of moonlight streaming the windows and “ambiance”-creating dimmed hotel room lights. Her smile is bright, and her hair is pulled back into a perfect high ponytail. The only things that reveal that she spent the previous night drinking and challenging strangers to arm-wrestling matches are the dark circles under her eyes.

“And you’re the person that I arm-wrestled last night.” Jake says.

“I’m Amy. I’m also from Brooklyn.” she holds out her hand for Jake to shake.

“You know, they say arm-wrestling is just a gateway drug for the real stuff. Hand shaking,” Jake jokes as he shakes Amy’s hand.

“You would know all about drugs, considering you're from the nine-nine,” Amy says. “Your guys’ giggle pig task force was kind of the talk of my squad for a month.”

“Should I be signing autographs?” Jake grabs a pen from the table he and Amy are standing in front of. He waves the pen through the air, miming signing his name in large, exaggerated letters. “Or would you rather have my number?”

“Are you asking me out?” Amy asks, raising an eyebrow. “If you are, you should probably know that I don’t date cops.” Jake heart falls. He didn’t even know that somewhere along the way, Amy’s nice smile and the memory of her giggling and losing ten arm wrestling matches in a row had lifted it up. It was kind of poetic, really. The smoothest he has ever been in his entire life, and it just can’t work out.

“S-sort of?” Jake stammers. “But it’s totally cool, and we should exchange numbers anyways. Y’know, in case you wanna hang out as friends, or in case you wanna meet any of the nine-nine’s giggle pig heroes.”

“Okay, then.” Amy says. “Why not?” She takes her phone out of her pocket and hands it to Jake. After he plugs in his number, Jake gives Amy his phone, and Amy does the same thing. They continue making conversation until they’re pulled away for other booths by members of their own squads. As he walks away, Jake opens up his phone and changes Amy’s contact name from “Amy Santiago” to “Arm Wrestling Amy”, with a flexed muscle emoji in each space.

Bet #2.

Amy Santiago has been worked for Major Crimes for almost two years now. She’d begun her time there as a data analyst, after transferring in from the seven-one, where she’d been an active detective. Several months into her employment, Detective Keith Pembroke had been promoted to Sergeant, and she had taken his desk as a true detective once again.

Though Amy loves her job, she truly cannot stand Pembroke. Luckily for Amy, Pembroke almost never attends Cop Con, often preferring to spend his weekends in various dive bars and strip clubs. Instead, Amy is accompanied by detectives she can actually stand, like her work friends Phoebe and Garrett.

The Monday morning after Cop Con, Phoebe walks in fifteen minutes late, with a cup of coffee so large it should probably be illegal, and sunglasses covering her deep dark circles. It was always tradition that the Buffalo PD throw a party on the Saturday night of Cop con, but sometimes other squads threw a party on the second night. Amy had declined to go to the second one, wanting to be ready for work on Monday, but Phoebe had gone out.

“Don’t say anything about my hangover, Santiago,” Phoebe says as she sinks into a desk across from Amy’s. “But you should probably tell Kylie not to listen to her last 73 voicemails.”

“I should have never introduced you two,” Amy says. She shakes her head. “You two are half the reason I’ve decided not to mix my work life with my personal life.”

“It’s not your fault,” Phoebe assures. “Kylie and me are just too different. I like fruity drinks and long walks on the beach, and she likes men.” Phoebe sighs and lowers her head so that her forehead is touching her desk. As she begins making sounds that seem like a combination between sniffling and snoring, Amy reaches over and lightly taps on Phoebe’s shoulder to wake her up.

“Maybe you should go home,” Amy suggests.

“No way,” Phoebe says. She lifts her head and stretches her arms out wide, reaching towards he ceiling. “Pembroke texted me last night and said that he just got a case transferred to us. Apparently he wants me to look at it.”

“I’m pretty sure he just wants an excuse to look at your butt.” Amy says.

“That is true, and when he does, I will remind him that I have a gun,” Phoebe says. “But enough about me. I was so busy partying, I never got a chance to ask you about that guy you were talking to at the Buffalo PD’s party.”

“His name is Jake, and he works for the nine-nine.,” Amy states.

“What did you talk about?”

“No, we just talked about work and stuff.”

“He was also cute. Did you ask him out?”

Before Amy can answer, she hears a door slam in the distance. Moments later, Jake Peralta walks into Major Crimes, demanding an audience with someone he calls “The Vulture”. He stops in his tracks as his gaze falls toward Amy and Phoebe.

“Hey, Amy.” he says, his voice soft and sweet. “Are you here to complain about The Vulture, too?”

“What are you talking about, Jake?” Amy asks.

“Pembroke. Total asshole. The nine-nine calls him the vulture since he preys on our cases,” Jake says.

“He’s my sergeant,” Amy says.

“Oh,” Jake sighs. “But you’re so nice, and… he’s so blegh. He’s evil, Amy! Evil!” Jake makes a disgusted face.

“He’s still a cop.” Amy shrugs. “Why are you here in the first place?”

“He stole one of my cases, which I was almost finished with, while I was at Cop Con. And then, today, my witness comes in and tells me that he freaking harassed her.” Jake declared. “Do you know where he is?”

“He’s out working on a case,” Phoebe says. “But you’re welcome to stay.” She turns toward Amy and winks suggestively.

“No thanks, I’d rather not to stay here in Major Crimes, or as I like to call it: Major Thieves,” Jake says. As he walks out of Amy’s line of vision, he yells, “Tell the Vulture he’s messed with Jake for the last time!”

“He’s still cute,” Phoebe says. Amy opens her mouth to speak, but the space is filled by a stack of case files that almost immediately land on her desk as Detective Pembroke walks into the room. She and Phoebe don’t talk about Jake or Cop Con for the rest of the week.

On Friday, however, Phoebe and several of their other work friends drag Amy out bar-hopping. As the clock hits eight, they land in Shaw’s, and Amy spots Jake Peralta at the edge of the bar as she hangs up her coat.

“Well, if it isn’t Amy Santiago, emphasis on Iago, backstabber.” Jake yells out as Amy walks over to him.

“I’m surprised you’ve read Othello.” Amy fires back.

“What’s Othello?” Jake asks. “I’m calling you the parrot Aladdin.”

Amy rolls her eyes. “What are you doing here, Jake?”

“Hanging out with my friends. This is our bar.” Jake points towards a group of people sitting at a table. Amy has heard of Charles Boyle for getting shot in the butt and Rosa Diaz for the giggle pig operation, but there’s another woman at the table that Amy has never seen. “Or are you here to steal Shaw’s too, like you guys steal cases?”

“Very funny, Jake. But I’ll have you know, Major Crimes doesn’t steal cases, we just finish them.” Amy insists.

“That’s exactly what a thief would say!” Jake accuses. “You guys wouldn’t be broken if you couldn’t steal the nine-nine’s cases.”

“Do you wanna bet on it?” Amy asks.

“You’re on.” Jake says, and immediately the bar goes quiet. Jake’s group of friends all stand up and walk over to him. Meanwhile, Amy’s friends gather behind her.

“What are the rules?” Amy asks.

“Whoever’s squad solves more cases in six months wins, and Major Crimes can’t steal any cases from the nine-nine.” Jake answers.

“Fine.” Amy agrees. She sticks out her hand for an official handshake. Before Jake grabs her hand, he makes one final declaration.

“And, since you guys are always stealing from other precincts too, every case you solve only counts for three-fourths of a case.”

“That is so not fair!”

“That is coming from the girl who said that ten times after I beat her in arm-wrestling fair and square.”

“Fine.” Amy grumbles beneath her breath as she grabs Jake’s hand and shakes it.

“Wow, your handshake is quite firm,” Jake says.

“Thanks, I took a seminar.” Amy says proudly. Jake raises an eyebrow as he lets go.

“So what happens when either of us wins?” Jake asks. “Keep in mind, I’m in crushing debt, so money might be a bit of a limiting factor.”

“You can go on a date with Amy!” Phoebe interjects from behind her.

“No dates.” Amy says sternly.

“Fine, something simple then. Food.” Jake suggests.

“What if whoever wins owes the other a nice meal?” Charles asks.

“Nah, food is too expensive.” Jake says. Amy rolls her eyes.

“What about coffee? Coffee’s not too expensive. Everyone likes coffee.” Amy suggests.

“Fine. If I win, then for an entire week, Amy has to buy me my morning coffee. If I lose, which won’t happen, then I’ll have to buy Amy her morning coffee.” Jake says.

“Also, whoever loses has to admit that the other’s squad is better.” Amy adds. Whoops go through the crowd of cops that has formed around Amy and Jake.

“Fine. I can’t wait to see Major Crimes admit that they’re Major Thieves.” Jake says. He back high fives Charles while Amy’s friends scoff. For the remainder of the night, Jake and Amy discuss the rules of the bet. As the crowd dissipates, so do Jake’s walls. “Just so you know, this bet has nothing to do with who you are. I’m sure you’re a great cop, I just really want to prove that the Vulture and what he’s doing with Major Crimes is terrible,” he says earnestly.

“Thanks, Jake.” Amy says. “I’m still not going to go easy on you, though.”

“I wouldn’t count on it.”

Bet #3.

Three months into the bet, there is a Google Doc created by Amy and shared between the two squads, detailing which cases are important enough to count in the bet, and keeping track of how many cases everyone has gotten.

By that time, Amy had also begun texting Jake regularly. It had begun as a way for them to trash-talk each other. However, it evolved. Jake began texting Amy about his squad, and Amy began telling Jake about hers.

JAKE: paperwork is so lame

Arm Wrestling Amy: Paperwork is important, Jake.

JAKE: its LAME

Arm Wrestling Amy: *it’s

JAKE: shut up ur 2 cases behind what do you know

Arm Wrestling Amy: Stop texting me, and do your paperwork.

“Jake, where are you on the Morales case?” Terry calls from his desk. “Captain wants an update by Friday.”

“Nowhere, but I will get somewhere soon.” Jake replies. “I was texting Amy.”

“Ah, texting. That’s the most intimate thing you can do with a lover, besides washing their hair.” Charles says.

“Come on, Charles,” Jake complains. “Stop saying that I like Amy when I don’t.”

“Then why have you been smiling at your phone for the past hour?” Charles asks.

“Kwazy Kupcakes, Charles. I was only just texting Amy for the past five minutes,” Jake lies. He puts his phone down and picks up the case file. As he scans the papers inside the file, he notices the M.O. for the break-in. It reminds him of a case he had worked seven months prior, one that had gotten stolen by the Vulture before he was able to interrogate his prime suspect and get a confession.

JAKE: do u remember a case where the perp broke into a house w a crowbar, cleaned a house, and then robbed the victims’ jewelery?

Arm Wrestling Amy: Yeah, Pembroke arrested Anthony Friar for that earlier this year. Why do you ask?

JAKE: did u ever get any dna evidence on friar?

Arm Wrestling Amy: There was no DNA evidence left at the scene, but he confessed.

JAKE: what if he confessed to protect someone?

JAKE: i think the real robber was the guy i just arrested for a b n e

JAKE: can u please get me the case file for that case?? Pls??

Arm Wrestling Amy: Sure, but you’re going to have to come to be, because I’m not going to drive all the way down to your precinct when I have a perp to interrogate.

When Jake Peralta arrives at Major Crimes, Amy Santiago is in the interrogation room, and the Vulture is out of the office. As he waits for her to get out and get him him the case file, Jake walks around the workplace, saying hi to the few Major Crimes detective he knows. Garrett barely says hi to Jake before scurrying off to his workplace, while Phoebe talks to Jake about the bet with Amy.

Jake leans against Amy’s desk as he talks to Phoebe. As she segues into a discussion about Jake’s squad in general, Jake’s eyes land on an open case file on Amy’s desk. Phoebe continues talking to Jake, but his answers are hollow as he scans Amy’s file.

As Amy leaves her interrogation room and comes back to the desk, all thoughts of Jake’s own case file are thrown away as Jake focuses on Amy and her case.

“Hey, Ames, is the guy you’re interviewing in there the same one you’re talking about in this case?” Jake asks, picking up the file.

“No, that’s just a cold case I picked up for my free time,” Amy answers. “Why?”

“The alibi doesn’t make sense. The guy says that he was at a Taylor Swift concert on the twenty-first, but she wasn’t even in New York on the twenty-first. I know that you have a ticket stub, but those can be faked. I bet if you probe the guy, he’ll spill.”

“How do you know that about Taylor Swift?”

“I like her music. It makes me feel things.”

“You’re deeper than you look.”

“You know what they say about me. I’m the king of hidden depths. I’m like an onion, except y’know, not gross-smelling.” Jake says, crinkling his nose.

“Anyways, here’s your case file.” Amy says. She opens one of her desk drawers, reaches in, and pulls out the file Jake had asked for.

As he leaves Major Crimes and drives back to the nine-nine, Jake is bombarded with texts. But amy had told him once that texting and driving is bad, so he waits until he is safely parked in the nine-nine building’s parking structure until he opens his phone.

9:42 a.m.

ROSA: amy just updated the google doc and told us that you helped her with a case? R u serious? The fuck man?

9:45 a.m.

GINA: i am DISAPPOINTED in you jakey

10:17 a.m.

Arm Wrestling Amy: I wanted to text you earlier but I knew you were driving. I just wanted to say sorry about using you for my case. I guess we’re even now, right?

JAKE: i demand that your case point also be applied to my case point total

Arm Wrestling Amy: no way. It was my case

JAKE: could u rly have made that arrest without me?

Arm Wrestling Amy: I totally could have. Besides, that case makes us even.

JAKE: wtf r u talking abt?

Arm Wrestling Amy: I gave you a case file to help you solve your case. You gave me advice on mine. Even.

JAKE: i haven’t even made an arrest yet so we’re not even?? The case file is just a hunch, and even if it wasn’t, i haven’t even solved the case yet so?? Besides advice >>>> case files

Arm Wrestling Amy: We both helped each other out, and we both get points.

JAKE: How about we settle this with a bet? If I get an arrest out of this, we both get points for helping. If I don’t, neither of us get points for the case.

Arm Wrestling Amy: Deal.

The day Jake makes the arrest, Amy sends him a goofy snapchat selfie captioned with “I win!!!”. Jake screenshots the selfie and promises to himself that he will later blackmail her with it.

Bet #4.

Amy has Halloween night off. As she settles into her pajamas and turns on the TV to watch a movie, her phone buzzes with a text.

JAKE: can i trust u??

Arm Wrestling Amy: Yes??

Five minutes later, Jake texts her a picture of his precinct’s blueprints, covered in undecipherable scribbles and post-it notes.

JAKE: look at my planning for tonight’s heist. I bet ur so proud of me

Amy shakes her hand and laughs to herself. In the previous weeks, Jake had told her about his precinct’s annual Halloween heist, and she had wondered what he was planning. He told her little tidbits, just in case she was secretly working for his captain.

Arm Wrestling Amy: Why the change of heart? You said you weren’t going to tell me anything.

JAKE: i decided that holt wouldn’t dream of getting u to help him. U two don’t even know each othe. And i wanted to show you my work!! I wrote some of it in cold just to trip holt up in case he finds it!! Aren’t u so proud of me??

Arm Wrestling Amy: I’d be prouder if you spent your time actually winning the heist instead of of texting me. I bet five dollars you’ve spent so much time talking to me you’ve missed something big.

JAKE: this will be the EASIEST five dollars i’ve ever made.

Jake doesn’t text back for several hours. At precisely 12:05 a.m. that night, however, Jake snapchats her a picture of Charles and Rosa wearing slightly crowns and holding up the plaque in the middle of Shaw’s bar. The picture is captioned with “the sidekicks decided that they wanted to stop being sidekicks :(“.

Amy sends Jake a picture of her wallet captioned with “It’s waiting for your donation”.

Bet #2, part 2.

A few weeks after Halloween, Amy wins the bet by two points. On Friday, Jake stands on a table and shouts to the entire bar, “Amy Santiago is an amazing detective, and Major Crimes is NOT a precinct full of thieves.” To Amy’s satisfaction, Jake only cringes twice during his statement, and that is only because The Vulture has interrupted him, shouting something rude about Jake’s “stupid white ass”.

On Monday, Jake shows up at Major Crimes, just after Amy has arrived, carrying a tray that held three coffee cups.

“The left two are for you,” Jake says. “I got the front one the way you told me you liked your order, and the back one is apparently the house special, which Charles said that I had to get you.”

“Charles? The Charles that tried to feed us pig intestines once?” Amy asks.

“Yeah, that one.” Jake nods. “But he recommended me this coffee place because it is both easy on my wallet and good by normal human standards.” Amy cautiously takes both hot cups out of the tray and lifts the house special cup to her lips.

“This is amazing,” Amy says after taking a sip. “Tell Charles I appreciate his taste.”

“He’s going to freak out.” Jake sighs. “No one has ever said that before.” Out of the corner of her eye, Amy sees the Vulture coming through the doors.

“You should probably get going if you don’t want the Vulture to steal your cup,” Amy warns.

“Hey, you used my nickname.” Jake beams.

“It is kind of catchy,” Amy admits.

“Well, as you said, I should be going. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jake rushes out of Major Crimes. Amy smiles as she watches the way he runs. As she walks over to her desk, she wonders why a guy with “crushing debt” would bother buying her two cups of coffee when he is only obligated to buy her one.

That night, as Amy calls Kylie and tries to help her best friend prepare for a date, the conversation turns to Jake.

“So where did he get the coffee from?” Kylie asks.

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask, but at noon I texted him and told him to only bring me the house special cup from now on.” Amy answers.

“Why? It’s free coffee. Get one cup for the morning, save one to heat up later.”

“I don’t want to burden him,” Amy says.

“Burden him! You won that bet, and you’re not even going to take advantage of that?” Kylie asks.

“I don’t want to take advantage of him,” Amy says. “He’s nice.”

“Every guy seems nice, until they turn on you.”

“Jake is genuinely nice, Kylie. He’s basically broke, and he got me two cups on hipster coffee anyways.”

“Yeah, why did he do that? Does he like you? Do you like him?”

“No! Of course not! We’re just friends. Besides, even if we did like each other, I don’t date cops.”

“That rule is stupid, Amy.”

“It’s not. You saw how messy my breakup with Teddy was, and I know that mixing professional with personal never works out.”

“But what if it does? I’ve known enough cops and watched enough crime shows to know that ninety-nine perfect of cops can only date cops. You know why?”

“Why, Kylie?” Amy prepares herself for a pseudo-intellectual answer.

“Because being a cop isn’t just a job. It’s a lifestyle. And it’s hard to date someone who doesn’t get that lifestyle.” Somehow, Kylie’s statement makes sense,

“Um, I’ve gotta go.” Amy fake coughs. “I’m super sick.”

“Amy, come on.”

“Goodbye, Kylie!”

~*~

On Tuesday, Jake is the first person to greet Amy as she arrives at her workplace.

“You’re here early,” Amy says.

“Don’t ask so surprised, I’m only here because Major Crimes is in the opposite direction from my apartment, and I do not want to be late again. Captain Holt’s threatening to take away my day off on Friday,” Jake says as he hands Amy her cup.

“That’s so funny, I have a day off too,” Amy says.

“Maybe we should meet at the coffee shop, since we’re both free,” Jake says. Blood rushes into Amy’s cheeks. She looks down at her feet so Jake won’t see her blush. “For the bet, of course.”

“Yeah, that sounds fun.” Amy says, looking back up and smiling at Jake.

“I’ll text you the address of the place,” Jake says as he begins walking away. As Jake turns and exits through the doorway, Amy turns and walks toward her desk.

“Did Jake bring you a second cup of coffee today?” Amy’s partner, Phoebe, asks.

“No, I told him that one was enough.”

“You shouldn’t have. The cup you gave me yesterday changed my life, Santiago.”

“Buy your own coffee.”

“But then how will I drink away the pain?”

~*~

On Wednesday, Pembroke interrupts Jake and Amy’s coffee conversation as he arrives at Major Crimes. As Pembroke walks by, he takes Jake’s cup out of his hand and takes sip from it before spitting it out and handing the cup back to Jake.

“Thanks for the cup, Peralta, but that was disgusting. Why would you drink that?” Pembroke asks.

“Well, it is my coffee, so... “ Jake says.

“Well, you should probably drink better coffee. And get back to your precinct, if you don’t want me to take any more of your cases,” Pembroke says as he walks away.

“Man, how can you work with that guy?” Jake asks.

“I’m not really sure. Coffee helps though,” Amy says.

JAKE: quick question, how does the vulture like his coffee in the morning?

Arm Wrestling Amy: Black, with 2 sugars. Why?

JAKE: i’m gonna get him a cup and i’m gonna SPIT in it

Arm Wrestling Amy: Jake, no.

JAKE: JAKE YES

Thursday, Pembroke comes into Major Crimes and finds a hot, steaming cup of coffee on his desk. Amy sneds Jake snapchats of the Vulture drinking his coffee.

Bet #5.

By the time Jake arrives at the coffee shop at 8:15 a.m., Amy is already there, sitting at a table by the window, with two coffee cups and a croissant in front of her. As he sits down, Amy slides one of the cups toward him.

“Hey, I was supposed to be the one buying you coffee,” Jake says.

“I got here early, and I got thirsty. You can just pay me back,” Amy says.

“Fine, but because I’m a gentleman, I’ll pay for the croissant, too.” Jake says. Amy smiles, and for a moment, Jake forgets that he needs caffeine at all. She begins telling him about her week, how her friend Kylie keeps going on dates with bad guys, and how the rest of Major Crimes has started playing a game of “Who can make Detective Pembroke the most annoyed today?”. He charms her with stories of the few cases that he hasn’t told her about, and he tells her how he his captain is definitely a hula hooping prodigy. She laughs and pretends to believe him, but he doesn’t care. He just likes being with her.

As noon comes, Amy tells him that she has some errands to run, and she leaves him in the coffee shop. Not too long after, Charles calls.

“Hey, Jake, Captain wants you to take a look at the Fallon case.”

“Thanks, I’ll be there in five minutes.”

“Five minutes? You don’t live that lose to the precinct.”

“I’m not at home. I’m at that coffee shop you told me about it.”

“Were you with Amy? On a date?”

“Yes, I was with Amy. But no, I was not on a date. We were just two pals getting coffee.”

“You like her, and you paid for coffee, Jake. That’s a date.”

“I paid for coffee because I lost a bet, Charles. And I do not like Amy.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m completely sure! Amy’s cool, and nice. And she’s really pretty, and I feel nice when I’m around her, but I don’t like her. She works for major crimes! She’s a thief! She makes me buy her coffee! Goodbye Charles!” Jake angrily hangs up the call before he can say another word.

Despite it being his day off, Jake spends the rest of the day at the precinct, looking over the Fallon case and trying to ignore Charles’ insistence that he likes Amy, along with his own heart’s insistence that he likes Amy.

It is 7 o’clock in the evening by the time Jake finally leaves, heading out for drinks at Shaw’s with his co-workers. As Terry talks to his wife on the phone and Rosa leans against a jukebox, watching Gina dance, Jake sits at a table with Charles, nursing a beer and trying to focus on the music playing instead of his friend’s words.

“What if Amy likes you back?” Charles asks, catching Jake off guard.

“She doesn’t.”

“How do you know?”

“She said that she doesn’t date cops.”

“There’s a difference between liking cops and dating them.”

“No, there’s not. She wouldn’t date me either way, so why bother?”

“Because she doesn’t know you’re an option.” Jake stares at Charles with wide eyes. His mouth hangs open.

“W-what? No. She could never.” Jake stammers.

“How could you know?”

“Because I do. I’m a detective.”

“I’m a detective too, and I know what I see. True love, Jake. What’s it gonna take for you to finally admit to Amy and yourself that you two like each other, and that what happened this morning was a date?”

“Nothing.”

“How about a bet?”

“Come on Charles, you know I can’t resist a bet.”

“Go talk to Amy. If you two come to the conclusion that you’re not meant for romance, then I’ll give you five dollars. If you two realize that you’re America’s dream couple, then you’ll give me five dollars,” Charles says proudly.

“You’re on!” Jake shouts.

Before long, Jake is running out of Shaw’s and heading to Amy’s apartment. When he arrives at Amy’s doorstep, Jake notices how the welcome mat, with its cheery yet muted colors and perfect script, is a perfect representation of who Amy is.

Jake straightens his clothes and rings the doorbell. Amy opens the door almost immediately, and she’s wearing pajama pants. Her eye makeup is slightly smudged after a long day, and there are stray hairs falling out of her usually immaculate ponytail.

“What are you doing here?” Amy asks.

“I wanted to see you,” Jake answers. “I also wanted to ask you a question.”

“Then ask me.”

“This morning, was that a date? Because Charles said it was a date, and I think that it wasn’t, and I just need your confirmation.”

“Jake, what do you want me to say?” Amy asks cautiously.

“I just want you tell me the truth. Tell me that wasn’t a date, and that nothing is going to happen between us.”

“I can’t say that, because I would be lying.” Amy says. For a moment, Jake feels like all the air has left his body. “I like you, Jake. I like spending time with you.”

“Romantic stylez?”

“Romantic styles.”

“Great, because I like you too. Romantic stylez.”

“So what do we do now?”

“We could go on a date. Though, I do have to warn you, I am terrible at first dates.”

“Then, why don’t we say that this morning was our first date, and you can come inside?”

As Amy grabs his arm and pulls Jake inside her apartment, Jake can’t help but think about the fact that he is so happy he just lost five dollars.