#It was actually getting kind of annoying even though I REALLY dgaf when I play survivor.

[forcedhesitation]

I don my gay apparel

and when I am in peril

I play a silly tune

so that the killers will swoon

[struck-by-the-rain]

was inspired by a few other ppl on here to drop some of the kind of cringy tropey lore I made up about these 2,,, mostly how they met n stuff and how I personally see emm.... im v normal about them I prommy

maintagging this perhaps but it's under the read more so if u dgaf u can just look at the silly picture

ok sooo

they meet completely by accident because This Space Kicker In Particular (who I'm calling SK) gets a try again in space soccer and crash lands outside the karate family residence. he's fine though, probably because he's subject to cartoon physics or something (might rewrite this bit of the lore bc it's kinda goofy but it's the first thing I thought of).

v predictably they start out playing soccer together, like they take a ball to the park or whatever n just having a kick around. but they move on to hanging out in a non-soccer context pretty quickly. i imagine sk's really curious to see what earth is like (it's probably his first time there), like he's filled w whimsy and joy just to go to the cafe n stuff :) joe is meeting him behind seniors back!

sk isn't joes only friend - hes friends w yuka n the wandering samurai n a few others, but i don't know if he's actually close with them? partially because he's busy training, partially because he's quite a reserved person, n to me at least I think he struggles a lot with self-doubt/feeling inadequate for anyone around him (partially as a result of the way he was raised). not to get Angsty on main but I think he ascribes wayyy too much of his self worth on his training... I think he has a tendency to try and isolate himself from others, both physically and emotionally

sk is the opposite (tropey ik lmao) - he's v outgoing, silly n carefree almost to the point where he gets on people's nerves sometimes (he's cowboy sk's "annoying little brother" to me). I don't think he fully gets/realises exactly why joe is v reserved but I think he manages to grow close w him in spite of that... idk how to word it. but I think he's such a ray of sunshine he's able to break through whatever exterior joe has put up for himself (ik how cheesy that sounds but yeah)

ive made a post about this before but joe is v v v affection starved (because Basement) and does a terrible job at hiding it to the point where he just melts over the smallest things. sk meanwhile is suuuuuper physically affectionate so yeah

I haven't worked out exactly when this happens but I think they just kinda fall for each other over time, it takes a while for both of them to realise its mutual tho....

joe alsooo gets flustered veryyyy easily (source: karate man 2 ds superb screen). sk probs picks up on this right away lmao

im thinking sk is out here dropping the most obvious hints... but joe refuses to believe that sk would see him in that way. idk he probs does the wildest mental gymnastics assuming that sk is just being nice or it's like,,, a social norm up on his planet lmfao.

but yeah he eventually works it out too in the end... probably partially because he begins to learn to be a bit more confident in himself over time. i think they get to a point where they both v much know it's mutual but r too awkward to do anything about it/don't wanna mess up their close friendship/are too worried about the logistics/implications of living on other planets n senior. so they don't like acc Say anything or whatever for a while. but it's obvious n only gets worse over time lmfao. see the pic above the cut

blehhh silly thought but I hc sk to be besties with 6switcher who I think gets fed up of his shittt... like hes just like "Oh My God Please Just Tell Him. Like Please".

in my mind palace they end up going to the battle of the bands (joes a huge fan of the rockers but he's never been able to see them live before). and ummm after the concert they end up sitting outside live house ogu watching the stars together,,,, and u kno,,,, they kith.... woaw,,,,, but yeah I think because botb is the 1 time in game they "meet" (if u can even call it that) I thought it would be cute if it's where they end up getting together as a couple :)

hmmm like inconsequential shit unrelated to the main story but they find remix 9 cat as a stray kitten at some point during all of this n joe takes it in... i think I could do a follow up post about what happens next in the lore after botb because this is already mega long but they eventually end up living together on sk's planet and the cat comes w them :)

oh adding this on acc after I posted it, but I think when joe meets sk it's like,,, the first time in his life where he hasn't felt lonely...

[jinjuomo]

Okay okay this is hopefully gonna be the last time I get annoying about the performance trio, but I offer you my hcs of the trio as highschoolers (long post ahead!)

Harrison

- Sophomore

- Oldest out of the trio but oh god, he’s such a fucking shortie 💔

- Harrison’s growth spurt kinda slowed down as soon as he got into highschool , so he gets teased by his friends for it (they do it lovingly)

- Ends up getting braces and Nerris makes fun of him for it since they don’t have to wear them anymore 😭

- He does grow into his looks though!! He just doesn’t have any game

- Joins the drama club along with Preston and Nerris since it was one of the few electives that actually interested him. He mostly helps with setting up props and helps work the lighting

- Has a thing for Nerris and Preston but he’s fighting the bisexuality demon 😭😭

- Still is in contact with Quartermaster. Harrison still finds him.. odd, but he talks to him from time to time. They’re kind of besties.

- Harrison likes to take pictures of his friends for memory sake — he even has an album filled with pictures of them.

- He’s.. not really into magic as much as he was before since he has other things to worry about (and definitely not because his relationship with his parents is in turmoil!!)

- Is very attached to Nerris and Preston. They actually mean so much to him since they’re one of the few people that actually care about him, but he doesn’t know how to express it well 🙁

- I imagine he probably would gain a good amount of weight after attending Camp Campbell, so he’s not built like a stick anymore (and probably works out a lil’)

- Actually knows how to cook!! He doesn’t like the cafeteria food (who doesn’t?) at all, so he makes his own meals whenever he can

- He verbally stims whenever he’s walking home and he sees a random cat on the street, often saying ‘meow meow’

- Has a resting bitch face, but he’s actually a sweetheart 😭 he just doesn’t know how to express himself in general

- Sometimes crashes at Nerris’s place since his home life in general is emotionally exhausting to the point where he runs away from home 🙁 Harrison feels guilty about it, but Nerris always reassured him it’s not his fault

Preston

- Freshman

- LONG

- No but seriously, he’s pretty fucking tall even though he’s like.. the youngest of the the three LOL

- Has a pretty high metabolism so she can eat a lot and still stay skinny

- Since he’s taking drama, he often likes to be casted as the protagonist of whatever play the club decides to perform. He’s also hella bossy and will get on your ass if you’re slacking

- Takes the most ugly ass photos of Harrison whenever she takes pictures of him and will slap his wrist away if he even bothers trying to delete it 😭😭

- Runs an account on InstaGram where people can send in submissions through Google Forms and talk shit about each other. It usually gets taken down, but he always makes backup accounts

- Proudly wears pansexual pride pins on his bag (also has a he/any pronouns pin). He dgaf if you find it obnoxious or not 🫶

- Always gets into online arguments on Twitter and has to make alt accounts since his ass always gets suspended 💀

- Annoys Nerris a lot whenever they see a fine ass woman or man on their TikTok fyp 😭😭 his taste is TERRIBLE and Nerris bullies him for it

- Uses so many emojis and italicizes his texts a lot when he chats with people online like this✨✨

- Actively writes fanfiction on ao3 😭

Nerris

- Also a freshman

- Also pretty tall, but not as tall as Preston. But still taller than Harrison.

- Nerris isn’t really interested in drama (she just chose it as an elective to hang out with friends), but does enjoy acting as one of the characters whenever they do rehearsals.

- Wears converses and NOTHING ELSE 😭

- Loves talking shit about people with Preston A LOT 😭😭 they both have so much beef with people..

- Uses she/they/elf pronouns

- Gets along with Harrison way better compared to when they were campers. Elf likes to tease Harrison from time to time, but elf knows to not go too far

- Nerris is that one person on discord to send in something so out of pocket and automatically delete it afterwards 😭😭 Preston always takes screenshots and everyone goes wild

- Likes to use emoticons, especially these (*^_^*), ٩( ᐛ )و, (^ ^)

- Even though they have other interests, they still like to host DND sessions!! They usually like to invite Nikki, Neil and Harrison over to their house to play!

- She likes to collect dolls and figures as a hobby! She even has a little ‘shrine’ for them

- Owns a blog on tumblr where elf info dumps about elf interests and does write fanfic from time to time on it!

- Sometimes likes to mess and play around with Harrison’s hair, it’s just therapeutic for her

- Borrows their dad’s clothes a lot and wears it to school.. they’re just so comfy

[clariongradiation]

what's up guess who still reads homestuck in this, the year of our lord, 2020. anyway here's every homestuck character in Among Us (under the cut because i do mean every character)

John: happy-go-lucky, way too trusting. always goes off to do his tasks immediately, is usually completely oblivious to who might be an imposter. pretty good as imp, just because no one suspects him right away, but if you pay attention he never tries to fake any tasks 

Rose: makes strategic use of cams/admin table to achieve her goals, but due to this can be slow to complete her tasks. tends to filibuster the vote just because she types so much during meetings, but uses this to her advantage when she's imp to avoid getting voted out

Dave: also prefers to concentrate on tasks, but is way more observant than john. if he's sus of someone he'll follow them around to see if they're faking tasks. similar to rose, gets distracted in meetings coming up with raps instead of paying attention

Jade: likes to use the buddy system, but she'll carry it over between games so sometimes it makes her an easy target. will hang out in greenhouse/o2 when she's done with tasks. her gut sus feelings are pretty accurate in meetings, is a good imp but tries to avoid killing friends

Aradia: dgaf if she gets killed right away, will finish tasks then follow people around the map. if she’s haunting someone as a ghost they tend to get killed soon after. as imp she’s an impulse killer, but usually has pretty good timing so she doesn’t get caught in the act

Tavros: also task-focused, uses one of the little pets. has a hard time asserting himself in meetings, so even if he saw the kill he might not get around to accusing. regular victim of the imp pinning the blame on him. you can tell when he’s imposter because he gains Self Esteem

Sollux: ‘doesn’t play games for wiigglers’, but when he does he almost always wins. favors sabotages as imp, will use them to avoid meetings and get another kill. buddies up with the other imposter to get double kills, but will vote them out if they get caught

Karkat: adopts the loudest = rightest strategy in meetings. can usually be seen telling everyone to do their tasks and stop fucking around. not bad as imp, but gets flustered if someone accuses him out of the blue. sometimes gets voted out just so people don’t have to read his rants

Nepeta: master stalker, will vent kill with ruthless efficiency. always buddies up with equius, but will kill him and >:33c about it without mercy if she gets imp. draws fanart of the trolls as their among us avatars

Kanaya: precision killer, she’s slow but always makes absolutely sure she won’t get caught. extremely efficient at tasks, she’ll check on people’s visual tasks to see if they’re crew. will encourage tavros to type in meetings if he has something to say

Terezi: supreme detective, though sometimes she can get confused if her screen is too blurry. types a lot during meetings, but she’s always working around to an accusation (whether she’s imp or crew). big fan of sabotaging lights to get kills

Vriska: loud, bossy, forces votes. another impulse killer, if she gets caught killing she’ll bluster or point fingers to avoid getting accused. will randomly sabotage to throw people off. usually the one talking over tavros. has a 100% winrate if she gets imp with terezi

Equius: efficient as crew, but horrible as imp. never kills nepeta or anyone higher on the hemospectrum than him. won’t even vote them out even if he knows they’re the imp (gets too sweaty, has to find a towel, and will miss the vote)

Gamzee: will get distracted listening to game sounds or staring at the animations. if there are only a few tasks left to win, it’s a safe bet they’re his. (off sopor, he’s a ruthless killer that heavily favors venting, and is very good at deflecting blame onto someone else)

Eridan: no one likes to play with him because he always tries to turn it into some weird blackrom flirting. is a pretty good imp, but not very careful about getting caught because it’s ‘his right as a seqdwweller’. another one that gets voted out on principle (due to creepiness)

Feferi: just excited to be here, great team player. as imp she’ll kill people if she thinks they’re not doing their tasks fast enough. will apologize for kills in ghost chat if she gets voted off. almost never sabotages, but if she does it’s always one of the crises

Jane: hit-or-miss detective, good at putting cluse together but will take what people say at face value. can be pretty bossy, but you can tell if she’s imp because she doesn’t tell people to finish tasks. will vote someone out if she thinks they’re not working fast enough

Jake: like john will focus solely on tasks and be oblivious to imposters. unlike john, is bad at imp; gets stuck in his own head pretending to be a character from a movie and either doesn’t pay attention to people or forgets to do tasks. always surprised by kills, even his own

Roxy: as crew uses the buddy system, but as imp is absolutely ruthless; trust them at your own risk. great at distracting people in meetings by typing very fast. will accuse on instinct just to see what kind of reaction people have, very reliable about fixing sabotages

Dirk: another big talker, but no one ever gets what he’s talking about. sometimes gets distracted by watching cams and will forget to do tasks. is a good killer as imp, but his real specialty is getting people to think it’s someone else (either with accusations or with confusion)

Damara: completely chaotic, randomly won’t do tasks and will just follow people around. sometimes doesn’t even report bodies

Rufioh: good at encouraging crew, but pretty shy at killing. will usually skip vote if he’s imp, but is an accurate voter when crew

Mituna: single-minded focus on either tasks or killing. will ignore most sabotages, prefers to be alone unless he’s around latula

Kankri: doesn’t play as the game enforces harmful stereotypes about blood castes, culling, ableism, death, space travel, aliens, etc.

Meulin: always partnered with Kurloz, like nepeta is an excellent imp but can be distractable as crew. sometimes forgets to type during meetings

Porrim: extremely good at tracking what people are doing, will call out imposters that try to fake tasks, is Here for the Drama

Latula: runs around a lot, does tasks randomly, will follow mituna around to keep an eye on him, revenge kills imps that killed him earlier

Aranea: big talker, though she’ll get cut off by meenah. will buddy up to do tasks, but is also good at helping the other imp by sabotaging

Horuss: honestly pretty average, sometimes he wins and sometimes he loses. tends to ignore chat from those lower on the hemospectrum

Kurloz: never talks, seems to appear randomly around the map even if he can’t vent. usually hanging around meulin, even if one of them is the imp and the other is crew

Cronus: no one likes to play with him because he’s annoying, a creep, and an ass. usually voted off first on principle

Meenah: chaotic killer, will target one person then follow them around. doesn’t like doing tasks, but can be hassled into it by aranea. impulse votes in meetings

Calliope: helpful, full of headcanons, buddies up with Roxy. ifa  lot of people are talking she’ll stay quiet, but has a lot of opinions and advice if asked. absolutely abysmal at imp (pre-scratch self is quieter, a solo player, and extremely good as imp)

Caliborn: loud, annoying, rage quits, tries to cheat. very easy to tell when he’s imp because he’ll act all superior in chat. gets voted out and banned a lot.

Dad: are ya winnin son

Bec, Halley, GCAT, Vodka Mutini, Jaspers, Maplehoof, Seppucrow: they are just leetol bebbies

Colonel Sassacre: doesn’t know what a computer is

Serenity: amazing player, but no one understands blinking

Liv Tyler: also amazing player, but doesn’t talk at all so no one understands

Itcy, Die, Cans: don’t really get it, but ok at killing

The Mayor, AR, CD, Doze, Sawbuck, Eggs, Biscuits, Ms. Paint, consorts, Squarewave: don’t really get it, but ok at tasks

PM, WK, HB, Trace, Fin, Matchsticks, Quarters: decent players

WQ, DD, Clover, Crowbar, Snowman/BQ, Stitch, Sawtooth: actually really good players

Jack/Spades Slick: only interested in killing

Doc Scratch: insufferably omniscient, wouldn’t play even if someone wanted him to

Andrew Hussie: probably plays among us irl

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 504

Let’s make this one quick, because tbh I really dgaf about Alicia and Isiah and I’m almost done with Maas’ new book so if any other’s in the Maaslander squad wanna chat about it, I have feelings.

They’re really dragging this Bonnet thing out, aren’t they. I mean, the books did too, but they could have, ya know, AdApTeD. Le sigh.

Hallo the house is the olde timey version of texting “here” when you get to your buddy’s place.

This episode could really be titled Men Suck.

I mean really. Roger? The Browns? Bonnet? Even fucking Elijah Ford manages to suck and we never even see him!

Jamie doesn’t suck much in this episode. Which is a nice change of pace for him. But he’s been headcanon’ed beyond recognition so whatevs.

Fergus doesn’t suck. Fergus is always the exception who can hang with the ladies because he’s cool enough to be in the good squad.

I just fucking love Fergus ok.

As someone who *hates* shopping, back in the day shopping seems like my exact version of hell.

Also, like, have these fuckers not learned their lessons about not communicating? They don’t need to fucking tell everyone the whole truth, but come the fuck on. They can at least give the Ridge Squad a heads up to not fuck with rando Irishmen who may show up.

I swear, they’re all so dumb it hurts.

Also, Bree, girl. You’re talking to an old Scottish lady. Maybe don’t shit on the Irish in a way that also directly applies to her.

Alicia was Mr. Darcy’s daughter on Ripper Street, right? She looks super familiar.

I’m offended on Fergus’ behalf that they’re wasting so much of his whisky with that leaky stopper, tbh.

Ah, toxic masculinity and patriarchal bullshit. Right up there with rape as my FaVoRiTe way to demonstrate that ye olde times sucked.

It’s like dialed to 11 this episode so obvi I spent the majority of it rolling my eyes.

The Jamie and Claire with the baby stuff was solid though.

And thank fuck they refer to her as Bonnie. Like, Diana is notoriously bad with names, but come the fuck on. Alicia Brown and Alicia Beardsley in like the same few chapters? THERE ARE A LOT OF NAMES IN EXISTENCE, DIANA. IT’S OK TO BRANCH OUT A BIT.

Every time something like this comes up, I remember that there’s another random Randall but like as a first name, I think, in the Gathering Without End. Because of course.

Fergus should really be a fucking diplomat. I mean really.

I am approximately 1000% over sing-alongs with Roger. Can we hang the fucker already so he can’t talk anymore?

Yay freedom! You know what goes well with freedom? An incestuous throuple. You do you, Beardsleys.

“You’re 14.” “Uh, I am clearly in my mid-20s.” “Nope, 14.” “Cool cool. Message received.”

“Congratulations, you work fast milord.” I JUST FUCKING LOVE FERGUS SO MUCH.

Seriously, this show needs more Fergus. Also more Fergus, Bree and Marsali bonding. Like, if we’re gonna have an episode about randos, we clearly could have better used the time to have the Fraser kiddos bonding.

“When in Rome...” STFU, Roger. Cosplaying your way through history like you’re on a fieldtrip isn’t cute. It’s fucking annoying. And you wonder why Jamie doesn’t like you. You are an eminently unlikable person.

Roger would def be the guest the hosts in Westworld want to kill.

The only good part about this side-quest is that there’s so much of Jamie telling Roger he sucks. And really, I’m here for any and all of Roger being told he sucks.

Ok but literalol at how badly Caitriona/Claire knocked over her mug. She like put it down fine and then tipped it over.

Oh hey, I wonder who that rando doctor who gives the weird advice is.

Lucinda is a cinnamon roll.

“Beauchamp, Randall, Fraser, now Rawlings? Ye have another husband I should ken about?” “Well, not yet, but you know your buddy who’s in love with you? Well...”

Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp Randall Fraser Randall Fraser Grey Fraser is a very respectable name.

DON’T MAKE FUN OF THE DRINK OF FERGUS’ PEOPLE, BROWN MAN.

Literally the whole time in Brownsville all I could think was fuck, I really don’t want them to do the ABOSAA bit with them next season but I know they’re gonna and I already don’t want to waste time doing fucking recaps.

I’m bored.

Fuck there’s still half an hour left.

“What sort of man would I be if I allowed a lady to sleep out with the militia on a cold, dark night?” Idk, the kind of man whose people kidnap and rape a lady? *preemptive rage intensifies*

I know I should be freaking out that Bree’s freaking out that Bonnet kidnapped Jemmy, but all I could think of is the old podsa ads for SimpliSafe.

The Ridge needs SimpliSafay.

I fucking hate this storyline with the passion of a thousand fiery suns, but I fucking love Marsali.

Omfg I know it’s Brownsville but them all being Browns is fucking like GoT shit. Like, diversify your gene pool, y’all.

Ok, glad there’s finally a Marsali and Bree scene. But I still wish they could hang and like chat about stuff like pals.

That being said, MARSALI IS A FUCKING SAINT AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

And of course, more violence against women. Because we can’t go two seconds without reminding the audience that the past is Bad and Dangerous for women.

Also, is Marsali still preggo? Which baby are we on? What time is it? How much longer is left in this season episode?

Cute of Claire to be like hey, Rog, Jamie’s trusting you with me! His favorite thing! Like Jamie’s not actually trusting Claire with his daughter’s dipshit husband.

Oh hey, remember how Brianna can draw Bonnet fairly accurately? Sure would be nice if there was a way to, idk, show those pics to folks on the Ridge. Just spit-balling here, but like, maybe giving folks a heads up would be a good idea. Kind of like how she fuCKING COULD HAVE DRAWN ROGER LAST YEAR BECAUSE TALKING ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND IS A NORMAL THING TO DO WITH FAMILY AND THEN WE WOULDN’T HAVE HAD ROGERGATE AND OMFG THE DUMB. IT HURTS SO MUCH.

Claire just fucking yeeted that baby lol.

For real though, literalol at Jamie like taking his coat off and being all dramatic as he prepares to... play DDR.

omega psi chi phi upsilon tau sigma rho pi omicron xi nu mu lambda kappa iota theta eta zeta epsilon delta gamma beta alpha

Drunk!Claire is back!

I fucking love drunk!Claire. So does Jamie.

The scene where they talk about raising the baby together is adorable. But also, like, Jamie, you’re grandparents now. All the good parts of parenting with none of the shitty parts! And y’all have been through enough shit in your lives that you deserve all the fluffy grandparenting!

“And Marsali and Fergus... Well, I’m sure they will keep the Ridge sufficiently populated if that’s what you’re worried about.” “ Yeah, that lass is with child every time Fergus lays eyes upon her.” WHERE IS THE LIE THO.

Joking aside though, they’d better keep giving Marsali more stuff to do than spit out babies. *aggressively side-eyes a certain author who DiDn’T lIkE wRiTiNg AbOuT kIdS*

Good on them for tweeting out the suicide prevention hotline. Literally the least they can do.

I’m barely really trying to give a shit about Alicia and Isiah, but alas, idgaf.

Literally the only good thing about this whole story line is Isiah being like “step the fuck off, you raging hypocrites” to Roger and Jamie.