#It seems I’ve developed nerves of steel. I feel invincible on my bike which is a bad thing because I really don’t need to take risks.

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

I typed in “highest protein foods ever” and — aside from whey protein and other things like fresh haddock and pollock which are extremely expensive — it turns out tuna has the highest protein content per calorie, followed somewhat closely by chicken breast. It looks like oats and brown rice have a decent amount of protein as well so I’ll have to get some in bulk.

So I went to Aldi (I’m from America and we have Aldi Sud, which is different than Aldi Nord; Aldi Nord is on the boycott list) and purchased six cans of albacore tuna, one can of chicken breast, two cans of French-style green beans, two cans of potatoes, and one can of carrots. I also purchased two dozen eggs (in cardboard; not styrofoam, of course) and a giant container of vinegar for use as a multipurpose cleaner and laundry detergent which will probably last me at least half a year.

$18.85 hell yeah AND I didn’t break the eggs on the way home despite getting irritated with the stupid “press to cross” button because it DOESN’T FUCKING WORK and basically rushing in front of a car because I wasn’t about to wait for it to turn when it didn’t turn last time after two full cycles. I knew I could make it if I swerved left a little and I did. I didn’t get hit. I’m not dead. This is not my ghost speaking. It didn’t faze me at all; I know the driver is probably shaken though. Sorry, man.

Once I get the brown rice I can make tuna and vegetable stir fry with an egg scrambled in. I’m sure my neighbors will appreciate the smell SJDBJDJDNDNDJDJNDNSNSN that’s what they get for making the heat vents smell like weed. Tuna attack. Suck it. I’ll need to ride my bike for 45 minutes straight over “gentle hills” (gentle my ASS) soon so I’ll cook that meal the night prior and have it for breakfast. I have a small can of orange soda I saved from the staff break room when we had treats, which I will take with me in case I need sugar on the road.

Other things I’m noticing from riding a bike around all the time:

The webbing between my thumbs and forefingers feels raw from rubbing on the handlebars all the time

Riding into a strong gust of wind IS THE LITERAL DEVIL

”Push to cross” buttons don’t work half the time. They do the BEEP beep but they don’t change the picture to the little white walking man. Yay for pedestrian safety! /s

I am not as in shape as I thought

Ride as hard as you can on dips then stop pedaling when going back up to conserve energy and not kill yourself