#Is just my extremely personal preference based on what a platonic bound would likely mean for two people

[gumm1defloor]

Am *this close* to venturing into the ValVel tags on AO3 just so I can consume content of them interacting. I swear they better have at least one scene together in S2 or so help me God I will actively start to ship them on main instead of VoxVal.

[invaderofdoom]

rules: repost, don’t reblog. just pick a muse of yours and fill it out.

muse: the gremlin himself, zimbabwe humanlampwall, a 100% legit regular human name

BASICS

▸ is your muse tall/short/average? oh he teeny. small boy. youre very small, zim. youre a tiny thing.

▸ are they okay with their height? not at all he is in abhorrent DENIAL over the fact that his height is below irken average. if he ever had one of those measurey things that kids have on the walls of their house for their parents to track their height he would absolutely stand on the tips of his toes every time to be as tall as possible ▸ what’s their hair like? hair? never heard of her. hes rly bug-like tho so if u take a big ol oh god what are they called THE ZOOMY IN SCIENCE THING! MICROSCOPE! GOT IT! so anyway if you take a big ol microscope to his antennae u cld see rly rly rly tiny sensitive hairs cuz it be like that ▸ do they spend a lot of time on their hair/with their grooming? not at all because whenever zim needs to wash his wig he literally throws it into the sink and lets gir wash it with the dishes so he’ll just walk into skool the next day smelling like dish soap ▸ does your muse care about their appearance? other than his height, not really. he really doesnt concern himself with fashion unless its to gain some sort of strategical advantage or to gain the favour of a specific group of people ie; dressing in makeup and cute dresses to blend in with the popular girls and reign over the skool hierarchy  ▸ does your muse care about what others think about them? yes but only for a select number of people ykno? like he wants Literally Nothing More to impress the tallest and have them be proud of him and he cares what humans think KIND OF but only to the point of “oh good they think im human? sweet, im doing a great job”

PREFERENCES

▸ indoors or outdoors? indoors on earth, outdoors on irk ▸ rain or sunshine? he’s not a big fan of either, but sunshine is preferable so he doesn’t need to cover himself in glue to protect his skin from the chemicals in earth’s water ▸ forest or beach? forest. the beach is full of people and theres water and ugh sand gets EVERYWHERE imagine if someone knocked him down and some sand got stuck in his pak that would take forever to get out blech. but the forest is much more secluded and he can go out there for EXPERIMENTS ▸ precious metals or gems? metals who the heck cares about a ruby. oh good its pretty good on you WELL HE CANT USE THAT FOR ANYTHING ▸ flowers or perfumes? neither please oh god oh no ▸ personality or appearance? personality but he rly doesnt care about other people enough at all to really give too much of a heck. he’s probably gonna hate you no matter what ▸ being alone or being in a crowd? being alone ▸ order or anarchy? he thinks he likes order but judging by his actions hes much more anarchy based so por qué no los dos ▸ painful truths or white lies? when talking to other people. painful truths. he doesnt care enough to give people white likes unless its about himself ie; oh haha my plan didnt fail its just that my plan ALL ALONG was to steal dibs little puppy clown thing, yknow

▸ science or magic? typically science, but this preference can change at the tip of a hat depending on which will benefit him more in the moment. dangerous super weapon vs magic that can make flowers grow? give him the weapon. high tech computer vs a curse that will bring an endless plague down on your enemies? give him that curse, baby ▸ peace or conflict? conflict ▸ night or day? night ▸ dusk or dawn? dusk ▸ warmth or cold? cold. big big headcanon that it was very cold on irk and the reason that zim had never seen rain before is because 1) he was always indoors on foodcourtia so he didnt really get to see the outdoors much and 2) precipitation falls on irk but because of the temperature there, it only falls as snow or hail. zim is also coldblooded + not used to the warmer climate on earth

▸ many acquaintances or a few close friends? whats a friend?

▸ reading or playing a game? reading

QUESTIONNAIRE

▸ what are some of your muse’s bad habits? haha oh my god did you mean literally everything he does? refusing to accept the truth about things (that hes defective, that the tallest hate him, that his mission isnt real, that he was basically sent to earth to either die or never be seen or heard from again, etc) is a really big one

▸ has your muse lost anyone close to them? how has it affected them? he hasnt, not really. his empathy for other people is extremely low, and because he refuses to accept that miyuki and spork are only dead because of him, their deaths didn’t affect him very much

▸ what are some fond memories your muse has? sneaking up to irk’s surface when he was litle with skoodge although the fact that skoodge was there didn’t really add to the fondness because he could have dragged anyone along with him and have been just as satisfied ▸ is it easy for your muse to kill? he likes to think it is, and it is easy for him to kill to a certain extent, but because of how often his plans are foiled by dib or zim’s own idiocy, its kind of a mixed bag yknow

▸ what’s it like when your muse breaks down? self hatred, loses will to live, finally admits things to himself that he’s refused to believe before such as ‘im defective’ and ‘the tallest hate me’ ▸ is your muse capable of trusting someone with their life? not really ▸ what’s your muse like when they’re in love? n/a zim is ultra aromantic sorry boyz and girlz. he is literally incapable of experiencing that emotion

tagged by: theived it frm @prxfessor-membrane & @takshiip tagging: im bound by platonic life partner law to tag @otherworldlymuses if he wants to do it for any of his muses but if anyone wants to steal it frm me and say i tagged them pls do bc i love reading these!!!

[devilgem-archive]

heya!! do you mind if i ask a bit abt ur kyokoswap au?? if u dont wanna thats fine but any info/hcs u have abt it wld be cool bc the au seems rlly neat!! tho again if u dont wanna def no pressure ^^; have a wonderful day!! :D

VIBRATES EXCITEDLY i’ve been waiting 50 years for someone to ask about this!!!!!kyoko magica is one my oldest and most developed aus, i’m more than happy to answer this!

aside from minor adjustments to better fit each character’s arc, the story itself follows canon’s exactly! starts with kyoko having a dream about mami, ends with mami tearing apart kyokami in a new world. ofc a lot of the girls’ original traits remain in tact. kyoko is more like her pre-tds self, kind but ditzy and reckless, mami retains her ladylike grace, homura her overprotectiveness and so on…i always prefer leaving aspects that makes characters…themselves in swap aus if u get me? or maybe that’s just me

KYOKO

swaps with madoka. madokyoko or kyokami, as i like to call her!

a simple christian girl with a plain, ordinary life. kyoko had everything she could ever ask for: a loving family, supportive friends, amazing teachers- just everything! all of that changed when she meets a mysterious blonde girl in a post-apocalyptic setting in a dream…and that very same girl appears in her life the very next day!

while she has a kind heart, she is known to be fiery and unreasonable at times. this temper was usually displayed in heated confrontations with mami

the sakuras used to be rather poor. their financial status improved when the akemis stepped in to assist them, and the two families had forged a close bond ever since

eating is practically her hobby. still hates wasting food and will call out anyone who does so

is a d@ddy’s girl through and through. her father is wise and caring, so she often seeks him out for advice

her wish varies from time to time. in the first timeline she wished to save a cat she named Amy, while others had to do with wishing one or all of her friends back or to be able to defeat walpurgisnacht etc. her final wish was to erase all witches from the past,present and future with her own hands, which caused her to ascend to godhood and leave no trace of her existence in the new world.

kyokami felt lonely when she first realized she had no way to get in touch with her loved ones on earth. it felt even strange to be god herself…she’d always been a girl of faith yknow? she eventually embraced her fate as the composer of the universe, and is perfectly happy in bring salvation to magical girls all over the globe.

ophelia is the witch of abandonment. unlike gretchen, who desires to save the world, ophelia wants to destroy it. kyoko’s faith in humanity died the second ophelia was born…and the all-powerful wudan witch stops at nothing until this cold and cruel world is nothing more than barren wasteland

MAMI

switches with homura! her nickname is homumami, but she’s usually mamicifer to me

i like to call her moemami (or moemi???) in her ‘moe’ phase

was orphaned at the age of 6 when a fatal car crash killed her parents and left her paralyzed from waist down. the hospital had practically been her home since, until she was officially discharged yeaaaaars later

used to wear her hair in drilled pigtails, complete with colorful flower clips that surprisingly correspond to her future friends’ colors. in later timelines she would let her hair down and replace the childish clips with her signature bronze ones.

used to be wheelchair bound before contracting. learned to utilize her healing powers so she could walk again; she used crutches and ribbons to assist her during the early timelines. in later timelines, she fully healed her injured spine the same time she changed her personality

she had a big crush on sayaka in the past…something she’d rather forget. it still flusters her

her wish ofc was to redo her meeting with kyoko sakura

her birthday falls on may 1st. more abt it here

mami has a major sweet tooth.

candeloro is a miserable witch, literally shackled with chains of despair, forever alone in this nightmarish prison- her eternal pity party. although she comes off as aloof at first, her true nature warm and inviting, almost needy even.

she has her own set of ‘clara dolls,’ known as delightful dolls. there’s four of them, each resembling the girls of the quartet but represent the hostess’/mami’s worst aspects: vexation (kyoko), disgust (madoka), cruelty (sayaka) and love (homura)– the youngest doll is the least favorite and looks suspiciously a lot like the good-for-nothing’s dolls (see sayamura for the answer)

HOMURA

switches with sayaka. i lovingly dub her sayamura

was kyoko’s friend from childhood. they attended the same catholic elementary school together before mitakihara middle school.

sported her ‘moe’ appearance pre-contract. after making her wish, she ditched the braids and glasses in order to look ‘cooler’ (@ which kyoko wld say she always looked cool in her eyes

kyoko had been her knight in shining armor for as long as she could remember, and homura really wants to repay that by protecting her as well! she is also hella gay for her bff 

her wish was to have the strength to protect others

her shield is very similar to the one seen in the original madoka manga, though it lacks the hammerspace storage. her firearms are formed via magic

her desire for kyoko, self loathing and jealousy are big big factors to her inevitable demise.

homulilly here is a mix of her nutcracker and mortal world forms. each and every one of the clara dolls still exist along with lotte, luiselotte, liese and lillia.

love is in fact, one of homura’s dolls; because homura and mami cherish the same person deeply, their feelings intertwined and therefore ‘share’ ai. post-rebellion, ai continues to pose as one of the delightful dolls and attempts to revive homura’s memories behind mamicifer’s back

SAYAKA

switches with mami. her nickname is mamisayaka here!

ghost and lonely are big inspos,esp for oktavia

came from a rather well off family, so she never really needed to worry about provisions when she was left on her own. still, all the money in the world could never fill the gaping hole in her lonely heart

knows how to play the violin

her parents and kyousuke and hitomi all perished when a theater collapsed on itself. old wounds reopened when madoka left her to live life her own way

is the ideal big sis! cheerful, sporty and has good grades…For A Sayaka. beneath the facade she’s a depressed slob who doesnt take care of herself as much as she should. its oke as long as she hides it all with a smile :)

oktavia von seckendorff is very highkey based off lewis msa; deadbeat-esque familiars, an abandoned mansion/concert hall labyrinth and a disembodied glass heart, which sits at the very bottom of her lagoon- that kind stuff. those she falls in love with, whether romantically or platonically, are never to leave her- she wont be alone, never again. one condition must be fulfilled in order to kill her successfully: stay. if she’s truly feels content, she will accept death without fail.

MADOKA

swaps with kyoko. kyodoka has a nice ring, doesnt it?

used to be exactly like the sweet and well-meaning canon!madoka in the past, a key difference was she would resort to stealing and breaking other rules to keep herself and her parents and little brother alive.

her mother was a businesswoman who wanted to take a more innovative approach to her work. alas, this would cost junko her entire career and the kaname family became penniless

madoka wished for her mother’s dream project to become reality. just as ur familiar with canon!kyoko’s story, it backfired horribly. disowned from her family, her mother became an alcoholic, dad gets pushed around and baby tatsuya doesnt understand whats going on. days later…press f for the kanames and madoka’s broken heart.

is vile, absolutely vile. can be sweet in one moment then violent and emotionally manipulative in the next like the two-faced bitch she is

rarely uses honorifics to address people anymore, unless she’s playing sweet to get something out of someone. uses ‘-chan/kun/san’ for those she sincerely cares for; she didn’t call homura ‘-chan’ before she began sympathizing with the latter

has a minor problem with booze and tobacco, namely the latter.

she loves loves loves melons!

knowing the value of being frugal, madoka hates wasting things that could be put to better use. she can be kind of a cheapskate in some sense, though she's sane enough to avoid resorting to ridiculous extremities.

kriemhild gretchen is exact the opposite of canon!ophelia. this towering witch continues oh so obsessively reaching for what she cannot; that one faraway glimmer of hope sitting at the endless skies of her labyrinth she calls paradise. shes stubborn as all hell, and will not let herself be destroyed UNLESS one convinces her the world is already a happy place in no need of saving

NAGISA

nagisa is nagisa.

the same charlotte that ate mamisayaka’s head is now a bapy that lives with her post-rebellion

her wish remains the same: to have one last cheesecake with her mother

not much to say here

thats all i can remember from the top of my head! if you want me to elaborate further, pls ask me @mahoutrauma!! 

[ajokeformur-ray]

I would like a friendship and romantic matchup please with someone from Black Butler, Death Note, and Bleach? Just type matchup on my blog search box, and you will find all the information you need on me. =) - requested by @artsy-jandi

This is a big request, so it took a while - sorry for the wait; I also had shit go down with my laptop, so that’s why it’s been several days since I said it’d be posted. Your description was incredibly detailed! I’ve summed it up to make it easier on myself and based on that, your platonic and romantic ships are...

Black Butler - friendship matchup

Elizabeth Midford

- I think you and Lizzie would really get on well

- While she’s loud and boisterous, she also carries a serious side, which I think comes from the fact that she’s a Phantomhive

- Lizzie can sometimes upset people without meaning to, and even when you say nothing, she’d feel terrible and would cry over her mistake; she’d certainly go to great lengths to make up for it

- She’d bring some light and warmth to your life, especially in the moments where the dark is harder than usual to contain

- You’d both be very protective of each other, woe betide anyone who upsets or hurts either one of you - together, you’re a force to be reckoned with

- She’d also encourage you to spend a little less time in your daydreams and a bit more time being productive

- However, if you’re being productive while daydreaming, she’ll take a step back, satisfied that your’re doing the best you can

- She wouldn’t pick up on those moments when you’d like to be left alone with your stories, and if you don’t tell her, she’ll keep being Lizzie, which could lead to confrontation

- I think this is when someone else in the household would step in, probably Ciel, who would understand the need for solitude, and would distract Lizzie for you, or tell her to leave because he has ‘errands’ to do [Read: wants her to leave because she’s too loud for him over a long period of time].

Black Butler - romantic matchup

Sebastian Michaelis

- Slightly ironic, I won’t lie. but hear me out

- Your procrastination would intrigue him - why are you putting off what needs to be done? What are you thinking so deeply about? Why do you prefer your own company over other people’s? And the questions would go on...

- He’d be greatly interested in your soul - not so much as he is in Ciel’s, of course, but your soul has been tainted too because of your past, and he’d want to see how it affects you in every day life.

- BUT despite the fact he’s a demon, he’s also going to appreciate your humanity - the humanity that he knows will kill people for money and also for their own survival, and the fact that you have compassion despite everything you’ve been through, will intrigue and surprise him.

- He’d stick to you like glue (not like he does with Ciel, that’s totally different) and would often watch you, being interested in the fact that you haven’t let life get you down or change who you are at your core, despite your soul being blackened by tragedy

- Don’t even think about Sebastian talking to you or interacting with you when he’s around your cats. Just don’t. It’s impossible to tear him away.

- He’d indulge your interest in cultures and literature - he’d bring you the finest, oldest, leather-bound books from dusty libraries, he’d brew you the oldest teas and make you remedies for your hair and skin, importing the ingredients from various countries depending on the ingredient’s properties and what they can do for you, and he’d spoil you, for sure.

- Would be content to let you daydream - he’s a Butler, after all. Busy!

- He’d try to tempt you to the ‘dark side’ but your stubbornness and strength to keep your promises would impress him - humans are such fascinating creatures

Death Note - friendship matchup

Misa Amane

- So. She’s a lot like Lizzie, I think, though she has her fair share of darkness, too.

- The two of you would bond over shopping and having your own dreams - whether you share them with each other or not is silently agreed in the moment

- Misa would understand your devotion to God and the importance of keeping promises - she’s entirely dedicated to Light and would do anything for him - this mutual understanding would definitely pave the way for a strong friendship

- You’d spend nights together, pampering yourselves - maincures, pedicures, hair treatments, skin treatments... the full works. You’d make your own home remedies and Misa would get all the ingredients

- You’re both very protective of each other, for sure. 

- Misa wouldn’t ever tell you this, but she would literally kill for you - all she needs is a name. And, once she has the eyes, all she needs is a face.

- If someone so much as looked at you wrong, they’d never be seen again.

- She acts too, so you’d bond over this as well.

- It’d be an almost one-side obsessive friendship, with many secrets lying just beneath the surface - and none of them are yours.

Death Note - romantic matchup

Matt

- Matt is incredibly understanding and very intelligent, and I think it’d be a rather... casual relationship

- You’d be the couple that don’t act as though you’re together, but you are, if that makes sense

- He’d never ever so much as tempt you into breaking your promise to your mum, and if he did, it’d be completely accidental and he’d apologise and be more mindful of himself in future

- He’d appreciate your creative side and would encourage it - he’d tell you to not let your dreams just be dreams, and to make as many of them come true as possible

- Very protective of you - you’d be his one motivation for living and for doing what he needs to do to get to where he wants to be. Simply put, you’re his reason

- He’s not religious, but he’d understand your devotion to someone greater than yourself and would encourage you to stay as close to Him as you already are

- I think he’d know when you need alone time to be with you and your daydreams, and he’d give you that space. He can get insecure sometimes, but all he’d need is one word, and he’s reassured

- He’s incredibly supportive of you - you’re his only light, and he’ll do all he can to make sure that no one so much as even dims that light - not even you

- Would find your daydreaming endearing, and would often game while you’re doing chores or something else, lost inside your own mind. He’d only pull you out of your dreaming if he needed to.

Bleach - friendship matchup

Rukia Kuchiki

- OMG okay, you’re both daydreamers to. the. EXTREME.

- Rukia is also quite artistic in that she draws (attempts to?) and she’s a very skilled actress, so the two of you would get on like a house on fire

- She has trouble opening up to people and making friends, but I think you’d make this easier for her, without even realising it - she’d gradually find herself opening up to you, letting you in piece by piece, and you’d strengthen each other

- She doesn’t understand the modern Human World at all, so you’d also bond over having to teach her how to function in today’s society

- You’d never - or rarely - argue. You both dislike confrontation - though Rukia will face it if absolutely necessary

- She has trouble finding clothes that fit, so. All the shopping trips omggggg

- Both of you are modest and intelligent, and both of you have experienced the darker side of humanity and she’s quite perceptive, so just know that she’s there to pick you up, and vice versa, when it’s necessary

- She wouldn’t even try to get you to be productive more so than you already are; she knows the power of dreams and is happy to let you be alone when you need to be

- A very supportive, healthy friendship

Bleach - romantic matchup

Ukitake Jushiro

- This cute lil’ cinnamon roll would love and cherish you completely, exactly as you are, and would have no difficulties in making it known, either

- He’d understand your need to be away from people often, to be in your own company, and he’d give you all the space you need, rarely asking for something from you

- He’s very perceptive, so he’d know exactly what you need and when you need it, before you do

- He’d encourage your artistic temperament, spoiling you with all the materials and inspiration you could ever need

- He’d admire the fact that you’ve experienced things no one should ever have to, and yet you’re an incredibly light, happy person

- He’d treat you and your loved ones with the utmost respect, and would do anything for them and for you, protecting you, even if it meant giving up his own life

- Ukitake would be patient with you; explaining something as best he can until you understand. It doesn’t matter how many times he has to explain it, each explanation will be slightly different from the last in the hopes that at least one of them will bring everything to light for you

- He’d be down for natural treatments and he’d have pamper dates with you - both of you are getting manis, pedis, hair treatments, the works - this depends on how bad his illness is on any given day, but for the most part, he’s going on dates with you whenever he can

- He’d wholly appreciate your devotion to Him and also keeping your promises and would do his best to help you keep them

I’m so sorry for the long wait! I really hope you like at least one of these ships and that it’s as you wanted - if not, dm me, I’ll redo

[braised-and-confused]

Another blog posted this and I thought it would be fun to repost, but bold the parts that I experienced myself.

Because narcissism. Enjoy?

——————————————————-

Common experiences of lesbians who don’t know they’re lesbians yet

Out of curiosity, I recently googled “Am I lesbian quiz”. Half the “Are You a Lesbian” quizzes just asked outright, “Are you attracted to women?” as though that isn’t the very answer a questioning lesbian is trying to figure out. The other half marked me as heterosexual for things like owning more nail varnish than dogs. I hope this list will give you more nuanced ideas to think about as you explore your identity.

These experiences are all really common among - but not universal or exclusive to - people who later realize they’re lesbians and find a comfortable home in the lesbian label and community.

It’s mostly stuff that I and other lesbians I know have wished we knew when we were first coming to grips with our lesbian identities, because the fact is it takes a long time to discover how common a lot of these experiences are among lesbians, and not knowing what to look for when trying to figure out if you’re a lesbian can be hard.

‘Attraction’ to men

Deciding which guys to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to – based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities

Only developing attraction to a guy after a female friend expresses attraction to him

Getting jealous of a specific female friend’s relationships with guys and assuming you must be attracted to the guys she’s with (even if you never really noticed them before she was interested in them)

Picking a guy at random to be attracted to

Choosing to be attracted to a guy at all, not just choosing to act on it but flipping your attraction on like a switch – that’s a common lesbian thing

Having such high standards that literally no guy meets them – and feeling no spark of attraction to any guy who doesn’t meet them

Only/mostly being into guys who are gnc in some way

Only/mostly being attracted to unattainable, disinterested, or fictional guys or guys you never or rarely interact with

Being deeply uncomfortable and losing all interest in these unattainable guys if they ever indicate they might reciprocate

Reading your anxiety/discomfort/nervousness/combativeness around men as attraction to them

Reading a desire to be attractive to men as attraction to them

Having a lot of your ‘guy’ crushes later turn out to be trans women

Relationships with men

Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a man

Or looking forward to an idealized version of it that resembles literally no m/f relationship you’ve ever seen in your life, never being able to picture any man you’ve actually met in that image

Being repulsed by the dynamics of most/all real life m/f relationships you’ve seen and/or regularly feeling like “maybe it works for them but I never want my relationship to be like that”

Thinking you’re commitmentphobic because no relationship, no matter how great the guy, feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it

Going along with escalation because it seems like the ‘appropriate time’ or bc the guy wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.

Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with guys, trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness

Feeling like you have to have relationships with guys and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can’t identify

Only having online relationships with guys; preferring not to look at the guys you’re interacting with online; choosing not to meet up with a guy even if you seem very into him and he reciprocates and meeting up is totally realistic

Getting a boyfriend mostly so other people know you have a boyfriend and not really being interested in him romantically/sexually

Wishing your boyfriend was more like your female friends

Wishing your boyfriend was less interested in romance and/or sex with you and that you could just hang out as pals (lol)

Thinking you’re really in love with a guy but being able to get over him in such record time that you pretend to be more affected than you are so your friends don’t think you’re heartless

After a breakup, missing having a boyfriend more than you miss the specific guy you were with

Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone

Sex with men

Having sex not out of desire for the physical pleasure or emotional closeness but because you like feeling wanted

OR: preferring to ‘be a tease’ to feel wanted but feeling like following through is a chore

Only being comfortable with sex with men if there’s an extreme power imbalance and your desires aren’t centred

Using sex with men as a form of self-harm

Feeling numb or dissociating or crying during/after sex with men (even if you don’t understand that reaction and think you’re fine and crying etc for no reason)

Being bored with sex with men/not understanding what the big deal is that makes other women want it

Doing it anyway out of obligation or a desire to be a good sport/do something nice for him

Never/rarely having sexual fantasies about specific men, preferring to leave them as undetailed as possible or not thinking about men at all while fantasizing

Having to make a concerted effort to fantasize about the guy you’re “attracted” to

Early interest in women

Not recognizing past/current crushes on women until you’ve come to grips with your attraction to women

Being unusually competitive, shy, or eager to impress specific women when you’re not that way with anyone else (OH MY LORD THIS ONE YES)

Wanting to kiss your female best friend on the mouth for literally any reason (”to practice for boys” included)

Getting butterflies or feeling like you can’t get close enough when cuddling with a close female friend

Looking at a close female friend and feeling something in your chest clench up and being overwhelmed with love for her - love you may read as platonic

Having had strong and abiding feelings of admiration for a specific female teacher, actor, etc., growing up that were deep and reverent

Having had an unusually close relationship with a female friend growing up that was different and special in a way you couldn’t articulate

Thinking relationships would be simpler “if only I were attracted to women/my best friend who would be perfect for me if she/I weren’t a girl”

When a female friend is treated badly by a man, having your protective thoughts turn in the direction of “if I was him/a man I’d never do that to her/my girlfriend”

Being utterly fascinated by any lesbians you know/see in media and thinking they’re all ultra cool people

Having your favourite character in every show be that one gay-coded or butch-looking woman (like Shego from Kim Possible or Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica)

Feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable in locker rooms etc., when your female friends are less clothed than they normally would be around men and being more careful not to look than they are

The 'straight’ version of you

Thinking that all straight girls feel at least some attraction to women

Thinking that your interest in seeing attractive women/scantily clad women/boobs is an artificial reaction caused by the objectification of women in media (LMAO yeahhhh…)

Being really into how women look “aesthetically”/“just as artistic interest”

Thinking it’s objective and uncontested that almost all women are way more attractive than most men

Being a really intense LGBT+ “ally” and getting weirdly emotional about homophobia but assuming you’re just a Really Good Ally and v empathetic

Having like half your friend group from school turn out to be LGBT+ (WHY AM I GETTING DRAGGED LIKE THIS)

Getting emotional or having a strong reaction you don’t understand to f/f love stories etc.

Having had people think you were gay when you had no suspicion you were gay

Exploring attraction to women

Feeling like you could live with a woman in a romantic way, even if you can’t imagine doing anything sexual with a woman

Feeling like you could enjoy sexual interaction with a woman, even if you can’t imagine having romantic feelings for a woman

Thinking you couldn’t be a lesbian because you’re not attractive enough, cool enough, or otherwise in the same league as most of the women you know

Interacting with het sex/romance in media by imagining yourself in the man’s position or just never/rarely imagining yourself in the woman’s position

Really focusing on the women in het porn

Being really into the idea of kissing/being sexual with a woman 'to turn guys on’

Being really annoyed when guys actually do express interest in watching or joining in when you do that

Only feeling/expressing attraction to or sexual interest in women when you’re inebriated or otherwise impaired

Gender Feelings

Having a lot of conflicting gender feelings that are only possible to resolve once you understand you are/can be a lesbian

Thinking that being gnc and feeling a disconnect from traditional womanhood mean that you can’t be a woman even if that’s what feels closest to right - many lesbians are gnc and many lesbians feel disconnected from traditional womanhood since it’s so bound up in heteropatriarchy

Knowing you’re attracted to women and not being able to parse that (esp + any gender nonconformance) as gay, taking a long time to figure out if you’re a straight man or a lesbian

Being dysphoric about the parts of you that make straight men think your body is owed to them, having to figure out what that dysphoria means for/to you

Knowing you’re attracted to women, but feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable trying to interact with them as a straight man, and only later realizing you’re actually a trans lesbian

Knowing you’re gay, but experiencing a lot of the symptoms of comp het when you try to interact with men romantically/sexually, and only later realizing you’re a trans lesbian and not a gay man

Being nonbinary and taking a long time to sort through being able to respect/understand your nonbinary identity and your lesbianness at the same time

Considering lesbianism

Wanting to be a lesbian but feeling like if you don’t already know you are one you can’t be

Feeling guilty about wanting to be a lesbian, feeling like you’re just attention-seeking or trying to be trendy

Suppressing your lesbian dreams because you think exploring that desire would mean you’re a bad/homophobic person using lesbianness selfishly

Wishing you were a lesbian to escape the discomfort of dating men

Fantasizing about how much fun it would be to be a lesbian and just be with women/a specific woman, but thinking that can’t be for you

Worrying that some of your past attraction to men was actually real so you can’t be a lesbian

Worrying that trauma-induced complications in how you experience sex (e.g., a habit of self-harming via sex w men or a fear of any sex at all) mean you’re not a Real Lesbian

—————————————

Every item on this list is common among Real Lesbians. It’s all Normal Lesbian Stuff. If you’re worried that you can’t be a lesbian even though it’s the life you really want for yourself, I hope this gives you permission to explore that. You are allowed to be a lesbian.

And if you’re not sure yet – if you took the time to read this entire thing because you’re curious about your identity, if you identified with a bunch of items on this list – you may or may not be a lesbian, but friend, you almost certainly aren’t cishet. Welcome.

(I’d love to hear other things lesbians wish you’d known were A Thing when you were first exploring your identity!)