#Is it mean to post this? On the day of his helicopter barbecue? Maybe so
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The scent (cologne, body wash, sweat, etc...) for each of the above listed man's, and why you think so. 💋
A/N: This is such an interesting prompt. Thanks for the thought generator anon💕 Also I just don’t even know what weird group of boys this is, I just know that I love them :)
Also some of these are literally just from my synesthesia like I can just smell these boys’ pictures; it’s ✨mental illness love✨
Send me headcanons!
Word Count: 862 bc ig I just don’t know how headcanons are supposed to work
Warnings: bad explanations lol, mentions of death
Carrillo:
so a bitch named @glowingpena made me realize that apparently Carrillo does smoke even though in my memory of the show he literally never touches a cigarette but whatever, I guess he smells pretty strongly of tobacco
Carrillo smells like a Dove soap bar. Not even men’s Dove, just like a normal ass bar of Dove soap because he doesn’t need men’s soap for everyone to know he is a man of authority. Idk what they had in the 80s, but this man uses a body wash to wash off his sins - even better if you do it for him because our beautiful baby needs a reminder that touch doesn’t always mean pain - and he smells strongly of it because he uses a lot of it. So he smells like that mild cinnamon-honey scent. I feel like Carrillo doesn’t really strike me as a cologne man because there’s a good chance he’s going to be getting sweaty that day anyway, but he does clean up.
Gustavo:
smoke and tobacco we been known
Gustavo just smells expensive. He’s got a lot of money to blow, and in the same way that it is very unlikely his wrist isn’t looking icey, his shelves are lined with luxury men’s cologne. If you were to bury your face in his neck and take in a lungful, you’d get Armani and cash. Also that bitter smell of gold from his chain if you’re close enough to him.
I don’t actually know how to place the scent of wealth. Men’s cologne scents are always weird, they’ll be like ✨night sky✨ ��or like ✨gravity✨ or some whack ass shit.
If we want a little of my bullshitTM: he smells like bad decisions and the rocks off the side of a river where he’ll leave you and your broken heart for one reason or another (probably bc he d*es but anyways)
Javier:
smoke again, I don’t make the rules I just enforce them
He smells like cheap cologne for sure. He puts a little bit on his collar, neck, and the insides of his wrists. And maybe he does the spritz and sashay
He picks his cologne carefully though. He smells like cloves and cardamon, a scent so spicy it stings your tear ducts but it’s good. Javier cares about how he presents, he just doesn’t really care about how much he paid for it.
He also smells faintly minty, like he was chewing gum a couple of hours ago, but never a couple of minutes ago. He strikes me as the kind of person that spends a solid 5-6 minutes brushing his teeth and staring at himself in the mirror.
And he definitely smells like super shitty instant coffee. It’s all they have at the embassy, and he’d probably lose his job if he didn’t overdose on caffeine some days.
Frankie:
this baby definitely smells not like laundry detergent but like dryer sheets. He just kind of smells clean. Especially if we’re talking post Colombia. He likes keeping it a little domestic after everything he’s been through, and for him doing the laundry makes him feel human.
He smells like sugar, like barbecue sauce. I just think that’s his natural scent. Like the sweetness of the icing on a cinnamon roll and peach cobbler on a summer day.
He smells like the leather of his pilot’s seat and a little bit metallic from leaning on the outside of his helicopter (since we’ve all decided that this muffin man gives copter tours for a living)
AND HE SMELLS LIKE DOG. He definitely strikes me as a dog man, and he always has a treat or two on the inside of his jacket pocket because he just can’t say no to his buddy, so that dog treat smell comes off sometimes.
Ezra:
Okay I’m going to try to not be canon here, because canonically bitch there’s just no way this man smells good. He’s literally in that fucking space suit all the time, and he gets so sweaty and worked up from digging. And he?? doesn’t shower?? Like there’s no shower in his tent, he can’t unsuit into a lake. Noncanon thots only.
I feel like Ezra’s natural scent is strong. The way freshly cut grass can hurt your eyes because it’s just filling up your senses and your pores to the brim until you hurt - he smells intoxicating.
He smells like books. If he had the chance to, he’d definitely stock up on his favorite literature, and the scent of the pages and the ink always seems to linger on him.
Whiskey:
He smells like smoke, but not like tobacco. He smells like charcoal and hickory and applewood. He’s a wooden man, and he just gives me wood vibes, you know?
He definitely throws some cologne on, and it’s gonna be a nice bottle too. He only owns one or two scents, but he makes sure he walks out of his home smelling like twine and spurs.
The felt from his Stetson. It smells intense.
Oberyn:
I never watched Game of Thrones but this man smells like sweat and fruit.
He is constantly eating (which is not my headcanon but I saw it somewhere and it makes a lot of sense), and the sweetness of grapes and berries gets on the skin of his chest.
And you can’t tell me this man isn’t always sweating. His pheromones poison the air before he even walks in.
When he bathes he smells like gold and expensive furs. A little bit like flower petals.
Max Phillips:
this idiot owns one (1) bottle of cologne and it cost him $3.5K
he fucking does it up with that shit literally catch him rubbing it like on his navel and his forehead like he’ll put it anywhere he will get his money’s worth before he ever admits that he got conned
On the bright side, he walks around smelling like a vanilla pod and grapefruit so maybe it was worth the investment????
He’s a vampire so when he doesn’t smell like luxury parfúm he smells like body wash because he doesn’t want to smell like human flesh and blood.
if anyone wants to be tagged in headcanons you can definitely ask, I just automatically assumed no one wanted to lmao. But tbh are these headcanons or a whole ass novel i can’t seem to distinguish the two
#iris answers#iris writes#headcanons#ok get ready for these tags#horacio carrillo#max phillips#oberyn martell#agent whiskey#ezra (prospect)#frankie morales#frankie catfish morales#francisco catfish morales#javier peña#gustavo gaviria#narcos
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HAWAII MISSILE: Donald Trump to Blame As Usual
Ash Sharp Editor
Donald Trump is all-seeing and all-knowing- if you listen to liberals.
No wonder they are so scared, Trump is everywhere. This is why when some goober in Hawaii presses the wrong button and informs the islanders they are all about to be incinerated it is the responsibility of The Donald to swoop in like the Batman and save the day.
It doesn't matter that the false alarm was not issued by any federal or military organization. Never mind that PACOM (who are literally located in Hawaii), NORAD and the Hawaii EMA all said that there was no threat. Publicly.
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As the Washington Post was quick to screech from the rooftops:
Consider his responses. First that statement, which has one obvious aim: To assure the American people that it wasn’t his fault that the false alert went out — it was Hawaii’s. Then, that tweet, which shows what was preoccupying the president at the moment. Not that one of the 50 states had been briefly wracked with terror after a mistake was made by the people whose job it is to keep them safe.
The emphasis is mine. Yes, a mistake was made by an employee who managed to ignore the sign that read Do Not Press This Button Unless You Are Sure You Under Missile Attack. If we are being honest, who could resist pushing the big red button? If only it did something useful, like instruct a flunky to bring you a nice can of refreshing Diet Coke. Instead, we have the wondrous opportunity to witness noted fake academic, Trump obsessive and literal Jihad apologist Reza Aslan looping the lunacy loop.
Trump knew within minutes no missile was hurtling toward Hawaii. He was golfing. They told him. He did not tweet out that info. He kept golfing. People thought they & their families were going to die FOR 38 MINS. Then when the panic was over he tweeted how media is so mean to him
— Very Stable Genuis (@rezaaslan) January 14, 2018
Here's MSNBC's Kyle Griffin, who instead of doing a real job spends his time monitoring the President's tweeting habits.
Trump has sent 7 tweets and retweeted 4 tweets since the Hawaii false alarm. None have been about the Hawaii false alarm.
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) January 14, 2018
Even Samwise the Brave managed to filled his shorts about the affair. Oh, and here's your daily reminder that Season 2 of Stranger Things was garbage. Sorry, Sam. Maybe Peter Jackson will make another movie about midgets soon.
The fact that President Trump hasn’t communicated 2 the people of Hawaii, the Nation or the World since Missile Attack False Alarm & Korea problem looming is a dereliction of duty. Invoke 25 or impeach & remove immediately. He is divorced from reality and a danger to the world.
— Sean Astin (@SeanAstin) January 14, 2018
Trump Derangement Syndrome even extends as far as former celebrities like Jamie Lee Curtis, whose last good movie- 1994's 'True Lies'- featured Arnold Schwartzenegger in a Harrier jump jet. That scene involved an Arab terrorist being launched via missile into a helicopter. She also took her clothes off, and no one complained about Islamophobia or misogyny. Ah, the good old days. In any case, Jamie has apparently spent the subsequent two decades drunk out of her tiny mind.
This Hawaii missle scare is on YOU Mr. Trump. The real FEAR that mothers & fathers & children felt is on YOU. It is on YOUR ARROGANCE. HUBRIS. NARCISSISM. RAGE. EGO. IMMATURITY and your UNSTABLE IDIOCY. Shame on your hate filled self. YOU DID THIS!
— Jamie Lee Curtis (@jamieleecurtis) January 13, 2018
After all it's only very recently that the supervillain Donald Trump incinerated California by travelling back in time, purchasing and then planting hundreds of acres of flammable eucalyptus trees and then returning to the present to hold an impromptu family barbecue.
In the field of psychology, this is known as magical thinking. That is, applying causality between two things. You see this in your own children when they are under seven, they literally believe that their thoughts have a direct effect on reality. Piaget noted that children often express this phenomenon while grieving, the child imagines that they are personally responsible for the death of their loved one.
We can't blame children for being egocentric little weirdos, after all, they are just children. What can we say about the cavalcade of grown adults who draw parallels between the actions of Mr. Trump and events 10,000 miles away?
WOW! Look at all of the celebrities and people in politics blaming Trump over what happened in Hawaii. It almost looks as if they had this strategically orchestrated.
— Kambree Kawahine Koa (@KamVTV) January 14, 2018
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I wonder how many of these actors -who let us not forget, literally play make believe for a living- can also give President Trump credit for a soaring stock exchange, a huge reduction in illegal immigration and a booming job market? If we can blame The Donald for not intervening in situations that have nothing to do with the office of the president, then the actions he actually does take are his responsibility too.
Liberals. Make your minds up. If Trump is responsible for the bad, he has to be responsible for the good. Or, you could put on your big-boy pants and realize that this is not comic book world, Trump is not Lex Luthor, and Don Lemon is no Clark Kent.
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