#Irl has just taken some turns - as it does tend to do

[criticalcrux]

Shadow post

[grokebaby]

Explaining this scene (from here)

Will mention mouth and throat inflicted violence and dissection. Also will get (slightly) more in detail about what's happening between these two

Context: Pesticinger has Siru come to her neck of the woods at night to perform certain rituals. It claims these are for ~Learning Purposes~ (which they are, in a way). This is related to that thing about folks wanting to learn and gain powers from Pesticinger. Siru's motives for being here, well.. I'll get into it later.

This exchange you see depicted, happens after Siru has cut out the tongue and/or vocal chords off of several animals (which includes birds. This is a crucial bit of info). Before this she also had to catch several of them with occasional help from Pesticinger, so she's a little tired, on top of it being quite a uh. Let's say emotionally challenging? Task? Especially seeing as how she also had to eat said body parts raw after cutting them out..

She's a country girl, she'll manage..

Despite the initial ick, Siru performed all this like a champ! At least compared to alot of humans Pesticinger has initiated into similar activities. This is what prompts the above "She's good at games! Bold, very bold she is!", which is genuine compliments given the situation.

So while Siru did All That™, Pesticinger hopped circles around her, chanting songs and urging her on (is it encouragement or pressuring...? I would say it's both.)

Considering the unpleasant tasks she's had to do, while it simply sang and watched, Siru feels it's appropriate to poke at Pesticinger a little. She has a very deadpan delivery and morbid sense of humor, which is why Pesticinger here is depicted as being taken aback and even unsure whether or not Siru is joking at first. These two have quite contrasting presentations and speech mannerisms.

What did Siru say?

She pulled a little "So, I'm guessing it's your turn next, right? I mean I've been building up with these small creatures so the grande finale's next, and that would mean.. You."

(you can see in the drawing, she's lazily pointing at Pesticinger)

I'm paraphrasing, but she essentially implied that to take it to the next level, she should now also cut out Pesticingers tongue and vocal chords, and eat them. Which, Pesticinger was not prepared for. This is supposed to be an initiation progress, and breaking previous limits Pesticingers followers might've had, in order to bring them in deep. In terms of gaining special abilities, this does ofc contribute to that, but lemme just say, Pesticinger losing her vocal components would be a huge blow.

Let me put it into perspective. People ordinarily do not hear Pesticingers speaking voice. When she sings yes, but when speaking normally, it looks like she's just moving her mouth elaborately. If she's not singing, or stealing somebody else's voice, Pesticinger is like watching a silent film irl. She has no voice of her own.

The other Plagues can hear her speech, and so can Pesti's followers, and most people who've heard her special song before. Not everyone, though. It tends to be a special occurrence, bc if someone can hear her speech it tends to mean something is a little wrong.. (ykno, how cursed songs are)

Siru could always hear it's speech, and that's likely due to her carrying some.. (glances at my previous post) supernatural after effects.

Siru eventually broke face and chuckled it away, but Pesticinger, in all honesty, remains a little unsettled by the suggestion. She doesn't let it show of course. Not to Siru, especially.

But, yeah. Maybe a bit of a power move to joke about inflicting it on the scary entity next, who's trying to break your limits by making you do disturbing rituals. As you do

[darkkitty1208]

I'm gonna say it here that interacting online is a lot of pressure. At least for me, personally. Maybe not as much as it is to socially interact IRL -- although whether they're comparable to begin with, I'm not sure either -- but it has its own anxiety-inducing stuff. (I kind of want to get this out of my chest here so. Under the cut.)

It always makes me feel, maybe a little too much, self-aware, yk? Like, I sometimes wonder if I'm being over-enthusiastic or not enthusiastic enough, or if my replies are not what they'd expect and my jokes didn't actually land, or if I'm not contributing to the conversation enough or if they're disinterested in the things I'm talking about... It's frustrating because I can't actually see their reactions the way I see when talking IRL. I wonder sometimes if it's all in my head and it's just the anxiety talking but, I keep looking back at old messages sometimes to analyse whether what I said was too awkward or too dry or unfunny or too overbearing.

Don't get me wrong, I do love interacting w my friends online, and this whole thing has nothing to do with them and rather everything to do with myself, but it does take a lot of energy from me sometimes. Which is why I tend not to reply for days or even weeks and months on end (which honestly may come off like I'm ghosting them and I admit, feels like it as well) when I get overwhelmed. And even then it still makes me feel so, so guilty about it despite how, whenever I actually come back, they seem pretty fine with me having taken ages to reply.

I keep expecting them to be angry at me, sometimes, or at least a little frustrated. And even when I do it time and time again they just don't seem to mind, and I'm so grateful for that but I hate how I keep thinking they won't react as nicely the next time.

I think one of the problems is that I'm aware that I'm a people pleaser and tend to give in to the pressure of wanting to please the person I'm conversing with without taking into account of whether I'm personally enjoying the conversations myself. Well, I do, for the record, but sometimes these thoughts just overweigh it to the point where all I feel is the anxiety. I hate how my own anxiety stops me from actually enjoying an experience sometimes. And it's so hard to figure out whether these things are just anxiety or whether they're true to begin with.

But it's nice that I've done this enough times that I can sort of figure out which people I interact with are only expecting me to listen to them and use up my social battery for their own serotonin boost, or those that actually, truly, want to chat and have fun talking with me (instead of to me) whilst not pressuring a certain response or a response to begin with. (I do, however, understand proper conversation etiquette and ways I should respond to certain things my friends share to me.)

But yeah. I wish I could be a little more chill with things like this instead of turning into some weird ball of anxiety. It sucks, man.

[abeautifulblog]

Okay I saw that post you reblogged re: body language, FBI interrogators, etc, and it reminded me that I was wondering if you have any Opinions or musings about the whole “witchers can smell lies” trope, esp. since it’s such a big part of the AWAU lore. After a while in this fandom, I’ve come to find it rather off putting, in part because I think it reinforces some false and dangerous beliefs about deception that are aligned with, like, copaganda about lie detector tests and all that sort of stuff, and also because I think it tends to streamline interpersonal challenges in a way that is kinda boring, y’know, narratively. So I kind of just wanna stop seeing it so much, but I also think it COULD be really interesting to explore, eg, the ethical implications of that kind of imbalance of available information in interactions between humans and witchers. Or like, what kinds of conventions about boundaries and privacy do witchers develop among themselves? I DUNNO. I have lots of thoughts on this, but my intention was to ask about your thoughts, so I’ll leave it here.

Hah, so many places to go with this ask!

Aight, first off let's talk about "lie detecting" irl -- I didn't go into the weeds about it on that other post, but if there's one takeaway to be had from body language studies, is that there is no such thing as "detecting lies." You can learn to identify the physical tics that often correlate with discomfort and stress, and polygraph tests etc provide, in essence, a witcher's eye view to that by also making changes to heartbeat/respiration/blood pressure/whatever visible.

But that's all they are -- indications of discomfort. A polygraph test going nuts is not irrefutable proof of guilt, it just tells the interrogator where to push, and keep pushing. It's a game of hot-and-cold, not a straight-up yes/no. Body language and polygraph tests don't tell them what the truth is, just what subjects they should dig into further, ask more questions on, press for more details, until you either slip up and contradict yourself, or break down and confess.

(I actually wrote an original-fiction short story that explores that in a fantasy context, Let Justice Be Done.)

And I tend to take a similar approach when I'm writing witcher fic -- that it's not an exact science.

@grison-in-space, one of my regular beta readers, is a biologist who actually knows how all those sensory systems work, anatomically, and we have had some long discussions about the feasibility of witchers being able to "smell" emotions. And I do not always let myself be constrained by the limitations of reality, but I do take them into consideration.

My personal headcanon (which I think I talked about in the director's commentary of For the Asking) is that it's not strictly smell that they're picking up on, it's a whole host of other cues -- respiration, heartbeat, body temperature, facial microexpressions, hell, let's say they can detect the body's electrical fields too -- that, taken holistically, they have learned what correlates with which emotions. It just gets shorthanded to "smell" because that's the sense that feels most salient.

Moreover, I don't believe that it necessarily has to turn interpersonal relations into easy mode -- because knowing what someone is feeling is a far cry from knowing why they're feeling it, and therein lies the stuff of drama.

In Song of Selfish Hearts, a story entirely predicated on dramatic irony, Geralt is paying close attention to Jaskier and he does pick up on those emotional shifts -- but unlike the audience, he lacks the context to understand why Jaskier is reacting to certain things the way he does.

In The Very Dubcon One, Geralt's witcher senses are as acute as ever, but that doesn't help if the only emotional states he understands in other people are "content," "angry," and "distressed." Experience and context are a prerequisite before you can interpret the data you're getting, and he lacks it in that story.

Recall also that all the "tells" of lying are just indications of stress -- if someone is genuinely unconcerned about the untruths coming out of their mouth, there is going to be no physiological indication of it. This causes some consternation in the dubcon fic when Geralt realizes how easily and how casually Jaskier is capable of lying to people, that it's indistinguishable from when he's telling the truth -- and realizes that he has no way of knowing if/when Jaskier is lying to him.

As for the privacy issues involved in witcher-senses, I really just see it as an extension of being able to read body language? They're privy to some data that normal humans are not (such as hearing heartrate increase, etc), but I feel like someone paying close attention to body language cues could pick up on those same emotions. It's not telepathy, they're not plucking your secrets out of your head; they're just noticing the signals you're giving off.

In conclusion:

A) The notion of body language or polygraphs can TELL WHEN YOU'RE LYING!!! is indeed copaganda.

B) There are still lots of interesting things to do in fiction even with the "cheat" of a character with a preternatural ability to read emotions.

[sevenkittensinatrenchcoat]

Misto’s Mating Dance Partners

Because the White Cat Lift AKA Mating Dance scene of the Jellicle Ball focuses mainly on Victoria and whoever she’s dancing with, what’s going on in the background is often ignored. But, there’s a clear pattern. The other cats pair off, go to the edges of the stage, forming a circle around Victoria and Her Man. They then do...whatever. There don’t seem to be official rules for what the pairs do, so some of them nap, some of the stare out into space, some of them cuddle...

And some of them blatantly fuck.

This scene is often called the Cat Orgy because of the blatant fucking that often occurs. So, you can watch the characters, see who pairs up with who and whether or not they fuck. Because Misto is my favorite character and one of the easiest to identify in even low-quality bootlegs, I went and watched him during this scene in every production in my bootleg collection.

Part One: Failure

In several of the older productions, I couldn’t see anything. Bootleggers and professionals alike tended to zoom in on Victoria and Her Man and stay there for most of the scene. Mexico 1991 mainly did this. Also, Vienna, with its Dark Voids and Weird Editing Choices was impossible to decipher.

Among the newer productions, Madrid was lost to Weird Editing Choices. Most of the dance wasn’t even visible! There were long close ups on Old Deuteronomy and Grizabella doing nothing when they should have been filming Victoria and Plato doing Something. It wasn’t even like they were distracted by an interesting background event. They just held the camera on characters who weren’t doing anything other than Reacting Slightly.

Part Two: Mistoria

Paris and Zurich paired Misto with Victoria for the Mating Dance. There was a slightly different dynamic with Misto and Victoria than there is when Plato or Tumblebrutus is Victoria’s Man. When Plato or Tumble, the most common choices for this part, approach Victoria, they’re awkward, but they still sort of take the lead. Victoria comes across as a bit shy at first, but she quickly gets into it. In the Mistoria versions, Misto is far more nervous approaching and often jumps back startled after touching Victoria. It feels like Victoria takes the lead in these versions, turning her back and basically being like “lift me”. Zurich Misto in particular is practically freaking out and the lift is kind of bizarre to watch because he looks so tiny!

Part Three: You’d Think Misto/Cassandra Would Be a Bigger Ship

Broadway-based productions, which paired Alonzo with Demeter, seemed to love pairing Misto with Cassandra for the Mating Dance. Troika and Buenos Aires did this and they did it in the same way. Misto and Cassandra practically have a dance of their own, performing the same motions when paired together. Usually, these pairs tend to seem like they’re improvising a little, but this specific couple has its own choreography.

The idea to pair Misto and Cassandra most likely comes from Misto later choosing Cassandra as his “lovely assistant” when he brings back Old Deuteronomy. In most productions, they don’t have much interaction outside of that. In Troika, Cassandra is also one of the cats who sometimes stands in for Coricopat and Tantomile, who were cut. Coricopat and Tantomile’s twin stuff was given to Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, while a lot of their psychic moments were given to either Demeter or Cassandra. So, in Troika, Misto and Cassandra are both mystical cats of some sort, which brings them together, because it’s something other cats don’t get.

I’m not super into this ship, because I generally don’t ship Misto with women, but the implications of the pairing in the Troika version are interesting.

Part Four: Lonely Misto

Hamburg, The German Tent Tour, and probably Moscow didn’t pair Misto with anyone. He just sat by himself. In Hamburg, there was a reason for this. Just like how Buenos Aires and Troika gave Misto’s role of fetching Old Deuteronomy to Skimble, Hamburg has a Mistotable instead of a Skimbletable.

I probably should’ve listed Moscow as a failure, but I’m still not sure what happened there.

The German Tent Tour just has Misto sitting by himself. He crawls to the Cuddle Pile, does a handstand, and no one cares.

But, the German Tent Tour shows signs of being part of a trend. While earlier, Broadway-based shows liked pairing Misto and Cassandra, newer productions never seem sure who to pair him with, so you have this scene of a lonely Misto surrounded by happy, horny straight couples and looking a bit out of place. This was probably unintentional, but it gives Misto an extra layer of gay coding.

Part Five: More Recent Stuff That Doesn’t Fit in the Other Categories

The 2013 UK Tour does something a bit interesting. Misto just sort of naps during the Mating Dance, but Carbucketty, who’s been following him around and imitating his dance moves for the past few minutes, lies down to nap at his feet. They don’t really interact and they’re barely touching, but it still counts as a pair. This is the closest I’ve gotten to finding a version where Misto’s paired with a tom. Of course, compared to most of the straight couples in any version of this scene, there is no horniness to be found. So, they’re two bros napping next to each other, but not quite cuddling ‘cause they’re not gay :(

Also I think Carbucketty might’ve ditched Misto for Rumpleteazer at the last second. We can never have nice things.

The Broadway Revival, having different choreography and staging for most of the Jellicle Ball is interesting in the way the Broadway Revival is usually interesting (kind of frustrating tbh). In the new choreography, everything from Bomba’s solo through the Mating Dance is basically one scene. Some queens dance, even more queens join them, a bunch of toms show up and pair up with them, the Boys Ballet and Whirlygigs are replaced with a romantic dance, everyone takes a hit of moonlight and things start to resemble other productions a bit more from there.

Because the pairs pair up quickly and stay together for a long time, it’s easy to see all of them. Only most of the cast is paired up, but I can identify, Tugger/Bomba, Munk/Demeter, Alonzo/Cassandra, Skimble/Jenny, Plato/Victoria, Coricopat/Tantomile (why do the siblings always stay together for the horny scenes?), Mungojerrie/Rumpleteazer (they’re probably not siblings in this version, so they get a pass), Pouncival/Electra, and Carbucketty/Sillabub.

Jellylorum, Tumblebrutus, and Mistoffelees are absent. They’re offstage until the Mating Dance properly starts. I have no idea where Tumblebrutus went, but this isn’t about him. Tugger crawls past Misto and they almost interact before Tugger leaves with Bomba. Jellylorum pairs up with Misto, presumably because neither one could find an actually date.

Now, the actress who played Jellylorum in this production has said in interviews that she played Jellylorum as the same age as Tugger. (The actors are besties irl so they made their characters besties too). So, this isn’t quite as weird as if feels when you first read it. Everyone’s the same age in this show, except for the kittens. Electra, Sillabub, and Pouncival were played as literal children in every scene but this one, because no one can escape the cat orgy (except Tumblebrutus, for some reason). But, unlike in 1998, which featured a lot of crack pairings during this scene (Tugger/Jenny, anyone?), pretty much every pairing in the 2016 orgy is the most obvious pairing possible. Anyone who didn’t have an obvious opposite gender counterpart was given one, except for Misto, Jelly, and Tumble. They could’ve brought back Peter (renamed Asparagus) from the opening to be Jelly’s obvious pairing, and then just had Tumble nap on Misto’s feet like 2013 Carbucketty, but they didn’t.

The result is that they created a bunch of comphet pairings but simply couldn’t do so for Misto. All his usual comphet pairing were taken. Cassandra’s with Alonzo and Victoria’s with Plato. Knowing that Tyler Hanes and Ricky Ubeda both shipped Tuggoffelees, they probably didn’t want to do the comphet thing either. Up until this point, this production had actually downplayed Tugger/Bomba, compared to other versions and added Tugger/Misto moments. I think, if it’d been allowed, Tugger and Misto would’ve been paired up there. Bomba can be like 1998, not having her usual partner and just going with whoever’s not paired up, which would be Tumblebrutus this time. Peter could be there for Jelly. Everyone’s happy!

But seriously, Gay Misto Mating Dance Scene when? Somebody get on that. People already find the horniness in Cats to be weird and adding gay horniness won’t make much of a difference.

[foxymoxynoona]

Can you tell us more about your decision making process behind choosing which member to be taken and which member to be single? 😊 And would you ever consider a Hobi story? I'm seriously thirsting over white haired Hobi and his aura screams certified dom™ IRL to me 🤭 or at least someone who is adventurous behind closed doors.

I've been wanting to write some Hobi fluff recently, I don't know, I feel like he's my comfort teddy and while I'm so stressed, I'd really like to just chill with him. His duality also fascinates me (tri-ality? the sunshine, the strict dancer, and the quiet chill way he says he is at home) so I'd love to explore that in writing, yes!

Below the cut about where everyone is romantically in Flux right now and why.

My answer about decision making is going to sound so mushy to you but: it felt right to me at the point in time for the story. You'll learn more about the other members' relationships in time but the little summary for where I see all of them at this place in the story:

- Jin, prefers long and stable relationships, only dates someone he's serious with, has been with Hana a long time and known her even longer, would be happy to marry her someday and because he's content here, he's just comfy and content. He's also the best of the bunch at balancing career and personal life, and prioritizing a relationship.

-Yoongi, prefers clarity and stability. Would love a long term relationship but doesn't have the energy and attention for that right now with his career, so he's decently happy with his arrangement with Min-suh. He likes having someone who understands him and doesn't expect too much and he can just be himself with, though he does sometimes long for a more whole and fully-known relationship, but just doesn't have the headspace for it right now. Is also not totally convinced a whole real thing is even possible.

-Hoseok, thinks he can do casual but then winds up only being able to prioritize a relationship if it's really important to him. and once it is, it's really important! But because he's crazy busy with his career, it also puts a lot of pressure on his relationships, so the ones that last tend to be with someone who can be the right amount of flexible, leading, and leaving him alone as needed. Basically, he can be both incredibly giving and incredibly need when his batteries are out, so his relationship needs strength and stamina.

-Namjoon, at a crossroads in his life and not sure what he actually wants. In the story he'd had a year long relationship that ended right before the story starts but it was sort of on and off again. I think he had to grew up fast as the leader in a lot of ways, which left some of hte personal "Growing up" ways behind a little. Now he's starting to catch up, focus more on himself, but he's got some time before he's really in the headspace for a real relationship and he jsut doens't have the time or energy for a casual hook up, so the niche of what he'd be looking for is pretty narrow.

-Jimin, I see him as really focused on self growth and his own journey right now in the story. He's open and honest and presents this sense of being down for anything, but in reality his insecurities and introspection are at the forefront of his energies right now. It would be easy to turn to someone externally to help him figure out "who am I other than Jimin from BTS?" but he's trying to do that internally and appreciate the platonic relationships he's surrounded by.

-Taehyung, open and interested in dating. He's come through the sort of self-actualization that Namjoon and Jimin are working on. he has a better sense than ever of who he is and what he wants, and it's allowing him to be a little steadier than some of the other guys in the story right now. But that oppenness is probably one reason JK feels a little more jealous around him... he has confidence and experience right now that JK is still building.

-JK, he loves love the way he sees it in poems and movies, total romantic, but frequently finds the reality of relationships and women disappointing, as seen with his previous relationships. But when the woman matches his hopes, he falls fast and swings from "kind of standoffish" to "cares very very much and may be inclined to move too fast."

One other thing I'll add though is that I don't view romance or romantic love as actually the driving purpose of this series or any of the characters in it. I think society really romanticizes romance but it's also awesome to be happy and single. The guys in the story have a range of needs and desires, and those are not always ideally served by some big romantic relationship. Sometimes it's steady as-needed sex with space the rest of the time. Some of them are actually pretty content to own their own space and time, especially when they have so many close friends and family members. I know I write romance but I really think the most important romantic arc for a character is them learning to love and adore their own life, with or without a co-pilot. I know you didn't ask this, but it's just been on my mind lately!

[littlx-songbxrd]

50, 43, 29, 25, 23 for the ask game

Thank youuuuuu <3

50. Give me the good ol' OC talk here. Talk to me about whatever you want

Ok so I'm not sure what exactly I should talk about so I'll talk about somethings thats been consuming my thoughts. You know what im gonna be talking

Integenerational guitar

It baffles me how Callie tried to deny her fathers family ever loved her yet the guitar she treasures so much is a physical manifestation of it

God that guitar was her great great grandfathers. From the center region of the island up in the mountains old Don Jesus who everyone called Chu' played. Then he passed it down to her son when he died, and his son to his son. They both new basic rythims Chu had passed on, and played it on festive occations but nothing more. Years passed and Chu's grandson died, and Eugenia, the grandsons daughter was left with the guitar.

It was old and uncared for and she considered throwing it away.

Then her son, Luis, begged his to uncle to fix it. Luis uncle, José, was a wood carver. A very good one. Luis took the guitar from his mothers things qnd begged his uncle to fix it because

Out of love for his nephew José did, he brought the old guitar back to life.Luis made it his mission to learn to play, and was the first to play as diligently as Chu did. Eugenia always thought hearing Luis play was like having a piece of her late family back in her walls.

Luis plan had always been to teach his daughter the moment her fingers were long enough to reach the strings. And even when they werent you could still see him discretly making his daughter laugh by putting her hands on the strings and shaking them around. The sounds were loud and oyt of tune but thatd only make her smile, which in turn made him smile

She would still grow up to play like Luis had wanted her too, only he wouldnt be the one to teach her. When she was taken away the last heirloom Eugenia left behind to Callie was her fathers guitar.

Callie may resent her family, bit she ñoves her guitar

Little does she know in it lies the old memories passed down through generations.

IT MAKES ME CRY OK-

43. Do you have any certain types when making ocs? Do you tend to favor some certain traits or looks?

Ok so the first thing that came to mind is that I do favor curly hairtypes a lot. Most my Oc's have curly hair, raging from 3a all the way to 4c. Personally, I think this stem from the fact my mom despised her curly hair and she'd always straighten it, saying it looked prettier that way while i loved her hair and wanted mine to look like hers. So I kinda made most my characters have hair that resembled hers and just went ahead to describe them as gorgeus because i still want her to love her hair. Now will my mom be reading my stories rn? Absolutely not she once found a page of drafting thrown around my room and when i saw her reading it I had a panic attack

But some day when I get over it I'll show it and I hope she finds it nice.

When i make characters more often than not I just go for whatever the story needs or what the other characters need in their lifes, but I do abuse the self projection and I do notice a lot of ocs are artistically inclined. Not all, but most of their hobbies are either hobbies i have or want irl.

29. Which of your Oc's would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone theyre going?

I love getting to reafirm the chaotic energy she has because i feel thats something that will be misunderstood about her. But oh my god Eliza

Avid myth believer? Truly confident enough to believe she will not get murdered. Would go and fully believing she'd survive and find paranormal activity. Wouldnt really consider telling anyone till she found what she wanted. Actually this is what that convo would look like (for context ruby is her sister

Eliza: So I found these markings yesterday at this old house down the street and I need your opinion

Ruby: Wait what house

Eliza: The old one?

Ruby: Care to be even the smallest bit more specific

Eliza: Old house, a few streets away, seems abandoned

Eliza: Anyways, Like I was saying in what I assume was a nursery, Im not sure it was kind of dark, i found these markings now the picture is blurry but you can-

Ruby: Youre meaning to tell me you thought it was a good idea to go an abandoned house, alone, without telling anyone?

Eliza: We'll im telling you now

25. The Oc that resembles you the most? (Same hobie/ height/shared interest)

I've always read making an oc is dividing your soul into pieces and giving one to each character. So everyone has a lil bit of me sewed in their outlines, but I've always said if I had to describe my personality its just Calisto and Emmanuel.

Callie resembles me the most physically, has a good part of my musical hobbies (plays guitar, does percussion, sings ) and just other things i enjoy. Has the same "flight" instinct I've been known to struggle with, emotional inteligence, and is useless saphic which same. Humor as a coping mechanism, hates having to confront bad feelings, mild obsession with stickers.

She's also has adhd and I sometimes use her as a way to process my own undiagnoaed fustration because my culture not believing in mental health is not fun

But Emmanuel, Emmanuel is like "What if i just layed everything i've struggled with and personify it"

We have the same enneagram personality type, 2w1 so that should tell you enough. I dont wanna go into a full rant about how much he means to me how much his arc means to me because, I still have some decency but

"I just want to build you up till youre good as new, and maybe one day I'll get around to fixing myself too" is a line i used to build his character that describes me a bit too much for my liking so i hope this makes sense.

Aside from that, I gave him the most fundamental part of me which is my love for Puerto Rico. Hes what youd call "boricua de pura sepa". He has my love for my island, my love for its history, love for my culture. And also the yearning to see it free. He dances bomba (like i did when i wss younger) and also other folkloric dances. Also a theater kid cause yeah id be dammed if he wasnt.

Hes a caretaker, likes taking care of people to a fault. Besides his extroverted personality he just really wants to be assured hes loved and tries to make himself useful in peoples life to gain that.

Anyways

Ill stop he means a lot to me and so does Callie. Callie has most my hobbies and personality, Manuel got most the trauma thats how id sum it up.

23. Introduce an OC of yours that changed from first idea of what the character would be

This is hard because theres SO MANY

I dont think any of my characters have not changed, my story use to be something else entirely and now....

Manuel was supposed to have been d e a d before the story started. He was white and his name wss Marcus and he had just been a human that died, another victim that kinda set up for the plot. He had like a sentence in the original story, he was just a classmate of this other charscter that died

Now hes a main character, and related to one of the most important families plotwise

Dont get me started on Nairnes personality. It was literally not there, like she had none. ONCE AGAIN SHE WAS WHITE AND ALSO NEUROTYPICAL IDK WHAT I WAS ON. She started as a typical ya ptotagonist who had her home destroyed and had a hero complex "i need to save my family" with no real heart to it since i didnt put in any work to give her actual motivations and her own arc. She was there to be "cool" and have a tragic backstory that was that

When I switched Nairne Adriat to Nairne Ayala Maldonado, she had a 180 personality change and i could not be more thrilled.

Sergio... im not gonna talk about sergio wed be here all day but he started as a super minor character who just vaguely existed. Now...

[sillyrabbit81]

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC (Female and Male POV)

Word Count: approx 3.3k

Warnings: swearing, smut,

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 19

Part 20 Final Chapter

Liam and I took it easy for the next couple of days. We spent some time with Perrin and Cole, taking them for walks and making sure they were getting along.

We watched Inglourious Basterds in Liam's theatre room, which was amazing. It was like being in an actual movie theatre. The dimmed lights and sound system made the experience great. Liam cooked me dinner. We even played Scrabble a few times. We were pretty evenly matched, so the games were competitive. We worked out. We fucked. We made love.

On Saturday morning, I woke with a sore neck. I prayed it was just a strained muscle from working out but the stress I was under during the week tended to catch up with me on a Saturday. By about 4 pm, the left side of my head started pounding, and my eyes became sensitive to light. Every sound in the house felt like screaming in my ears, and I wanted to throw up. I would have cried if I didn't already know how much worse it would make it my migraine.

I told Liam I had to go to bed. Even though my migraines were terrible, I was lucky I could usually treat them with some codeine and a few hours of sleep. They rarely last more than six hours. Liam was lovely about it. He insisted on helping me get changed for bed, and he even went and got me a cold washcloth for my head. He laid in bed with me until I fell asleep.

I woke up around 11 pm feeling groggy, but the migraine had gone. I got out of bed and went looking for Liam.

I found him asleep on the lounge under a blanket downstairs. It looked like he had planned to sleep there all night. Perrin was curled up on the blanket between Liam's legs, and Cole laid on the floor in front of the couch. Cole looked up when I came in, rubbing himself against my legs like a cat and nudging my hand for a pat. Perrin's ears came up, and his tail wagged but didn't move. Lazy old Dog.

I knelt in the spot Cole had been. Liam looked so much younger asleep, almost like a boy, since he had started shaving. Apparently, his character is clean-shaven a lot of the time, so he will be switching between being shaved and unshaved depending on filming. I didn't want to startle him, so I ran my fingers through his hair until he started to wake. Liam stretched a bit before opening his eyes, and he looked so cute doing so I almost pinched his cheeks. Perrin finally got up, realising his warm spot was compromised.

"Hey, Sweetheart," he said and looking at his watch. "Are you ok? do you need anything?"

I smiled at him and shook my head. "Just you," I said.

Liam smiled one of his full Hollywood smiles. He takes my breath away when he does that. "How's your head?"

"I haven't had any complaints," I said, winking. I think I've watched Drag Race too many times.

Liam chuckled and shook his head at me. "And you certainly won't get any from me." He said, getting up. Kissing my forehead, he said, "I'm glad you're feeling better."

I took his hand and pulled him towards the elevator. Like the gentleman he is, he pretended I was able to pull him.

We get in bed, Liam on his back and me with my head on his chest. He stroked my hair, trying to lull me to sleep. I always find it difficult to sleep at night if I have a nap in the afternoon. I was content to breathe my calming breaths and not worry about forcing the sleep I knew would eventually come.

Since sleep was alluding me, I asked Liam, "are you nervous about tomorrow?"

"Meeting your family?" I nodded. He shrugged, "a little. It's been a while since I've been introduced to the family. A couple of years, actually. But I'm mostly looking forward to it." He gave me a quick kiss. "What about you?"

"After Thursday, I don't know if I'll be nervous about anything again." Liam chuckled. "I'm a little concerned about my mum. But I'm excited about you meeting the kids. I wonder if they will recognise you."

"Sometimes, kids do. Other times they say that's not him. He doesn't have a cape." I chuckled. Liam didn't speak for a while, so I tried letting Liam's breaths rock me to sleep. Then he spoke again, "Do you want kids?"

"You know, I do," I replied. We had spoken about it when we first started talking. Not wanting kids had been a deal-breaker for both of us. It was one of the first questions he had asked once we had gotten past the superficial talk. I looked at him, puzzled. "Why?"

"When you first told me about your contraception, I thought with my dick, so naturally, I was excited about not having to wear a condom." Liam's lip twitched, "Having said that, I wouldn't mind seeing you put a condom on me again." I rolled my eyes and indicated he should keep talking. "But then I thought you got that thing put in when you were still with Andy. If it's none of my business, that's fine. I had just been thinking about it, is all."

"You're wondering why I would use such a long-lasting contraception when I was married and wanted kids."

He nodded. "That sums it up."

"Well, several reasons. I had to replace the one I had. It had expired. Second, I have Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, and one symptom is very irregular periods. I was always scared I was pregnant. I could go months without a period, and when I did, they were hell. I would get migraines for weeks, mood swings from being happy to almost suicidal throughout my cycle. When the period came, there was bad cramping and back pain, joint pain, fatigue. So, I had my first implant when I was 20."

"That sound's awful, Sweetheart."

"Yup. I got the last one put in instead of trying for kids because I was 26. Yes, Andy and I wanted kids, but we wanted to wait a few more years, pay more off the house, grow up a bit." Liam nodded.

I was surprised that talking to him about Andy in such intimate detail didn't make me start crying. I still felt sad and missed him, but it was different now. There was a fondness to the thoughts rather than the fear and guilt that would usually arise. Anthea had been right. I had to talk with Andy and be honest with him about how I felt. As if verbalising how I felt to Andy, wherever he was in the universe, eased the guilt I was feeling. It made me realise that it wasn't wrong or selfish to seek love again. It was what made life special, sharing your life with someone else.

Liam was looking with furrowed brows. "Are you ok?" He asked.

I wondered if I should tell him what I was thinking. Would he be interested? Would it be weird for him to hear about Andy? In some ways, Andy had always been the elephant in the room. He was mentioned in passing, but other than last Friday, I hadn't told him anything meaningful about him or how I felt. He had been right when we argued, Andy was a shadow that loomed over the relationship, and that was my fault. I decided to be honest.

"Yeah, I am." I gave him a half-smile and said, "I spoke to Anthea, my mother-in-law, on Tuesday." Liam's face was unreadable. Too late to stop now. I kept going. "I wanted her to hear from me that we were dating before it was official. It turns out she already knew. She was cool about it, happy for me. I was surprised by her response, and I thought she would think it was a betrayal. But she said I should talk to Andy, and I would feel better."

Liam still wasn't showing me what he was thinking. His face was stoic. I thought again, I should stop. "Keep going," he said, his voice not much louder than a whisper.

"So I visited Andy and told him about how I was feeling. I told him about you and how I felt about you. It seemed to work like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I felt free."

Liam was quiet for a while. I could almost see him arranging his thoughts. After a while, he said, "it seems the only one who makes you feel guilty is you."

"I think that was true, but not anymore," I said. "Are you upset I told you that? Is it... I don't know... tmi?"

Liam gave me a half-smile, "no, Lana. I'm glad you told me. I'm glad you did that. Not just for me, but for you."

"Then why were you looking at me like that?"

Liam's smile was full now. "Because I thought you were going to break my heart. Instead, you told me something private and because you wanted to. Not because I forced you or put you in a position where you had no choice. It makes me believe you may care about me as much as I care about you."

I cupped his face in my hands and looked deeply into his eyes, so he knows what I'm saying is true. "Liam, I do care about you. I don't think anyone else could have opened my heart. I was ready to go the rest of my life alone. If it weren't for you, I would never have taken those final steps to move on. For being the catalyst I needed, I will always be thankful for you and care about you."

Liam POV

Lana held my face in her hands. Her green eyes shined in the dim light of my bedroom as she spoke to me. "Liam, I do care about you. I don't think anyone else could have opened my heart. I was ready to go the rest of my life alone. If it weren't for you, I would never have taken those final steps to move on. For being the catalyst I needed, I will always be thankful for you and care about you."

My heart stopped a moment before it started to thunder in my chest. Lana so rarely bared her soul to me. She dropped hints sometimes, said little things to make me believe she could love me. But too often she was closed off when things get too intimate or too real.

She had changed so much since I first spoke to her, yet somehow she was still the same. She was kind and generous. I picked up on that early. That she was so funny and witty was something that she was slow to reveal but was a joy to watch. Watching her start to open her soul to me was beautiful. To see her courage and strength as she pushed through her grief was inspiring. That she saw enough in me to want to go through all she went through was humbling.

I loved her. I was desperate to tell her. I almost told her so many times. But my fear kept me from saying it. I didn't want to scare her off. I knew now she has to set the pace. She will be ready when she's ready and I will be there when she is.

Lana kissed me, and my body lit up. Her lips were like a match igniting a fire that travelled through my whole body. I instantly grew hard and needed her. I kissed her back, my tongue licking at her lips, urging her to open for me. When she did, I was lost, and all control left me. I needed to be in her.

My tongue entered her mouth, and her taste reminded me of apples and honey. She tasted so sweet to me. I wanted to taste her everywhere. I rolled her onto her back, reminding myself not to throw her around too roughly. She could take a lot of punishment, but I was still careful.

I sought Lana with my hands, pulling off the underwear that separated me from her. I put my hand between her legs, and my fingers parted her. I groaned when I felt how wet she was already, and I had to taste her. I moved between her legs as she opened them wide for me.

I put two fingers inside her, and my cock ached. "You're so warm, Lana," I told her, and she moaned, arching her back, her hips moving as I fucked her with my fingers. She was so responsive to my touch, and I loved watching her every movement. Her body moved in the most spectacular ways, writhing and seeking her pleasure.

I couldn't wait any longer for a taste, so leaving my fingers inside her, I let my tongue find her clit. When her taste hit my tongue, I hummed with delight. Lana's fingers slid into my hair as she pushed me into her and her hips rocked as she grinds herself on my tongue. God, she was so sexy. I wanted to stay here forever, watching her and listening to her moan. I ran my hand up her hips to her tiny waist. Feeling her hips under her soft skin was so erotic. I needed to fuck her, but she needed this first.

Lana started panting, her moans became short cries as she exhaled and I knew she didn't have long. I felt her walls close in on my fingers as she started to cry out my name, begging me not to stop. As if I would deny her this. As if I would deny her anything.

When Lana came, she was beautiful. Her eyes closed hard, her body convulsed, and her thighs trembled. Then she did this thing where she throws her head forward, and her body almost curls into a ball, and I know she's finished. Even when she's standing up she does it, I almost dropped her the first time. It's the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen.

I lapped at her one more time, taking one last taste. She shuddered and tried to close her legs, giggling. She smiled at me, and my heart melted, but my cock was in pain. I needed to have her.

I kissed her, and she licked at me, tasting herself. She drives me wild when she does that. I felt like an animal, my careful control was gone, and I pushed my cock into her. She was so wet and tight, her body moulded around my cock, taking me all in, holding me so tight I almost came.

"Fuck," I swore into her mouth. Lana bit at my lip, playful, but I knew what that meant. She wanted me, and she didn't want me to be gentle.

I wasn't gentle. There was no way I could be. She had me too worked up, and all I wanted was to own her and claim her as mine forever. I started to thrust into her, her tits bouncing as she takes all I give her. Her lips were parted, and her cheeks were red. Her hair looked like a halo of fire on the sheets. Its vibrance thrilled me. I pushed my self off her and watched as my cock pumped into her. Seeing her stretched around me, I felt my orgasm rise again. Not yet. I wasn't done with her yet. I slowed down.

"Liam," She whispered my name, and there was no stopping it. My body took on a mind of its own, driving itself to release. She cried my name again as I felt my seed rise into me, and ecstasy flowed through me as it pumped into her.

I fell on my side next to Lana and took deep breaths. She gave a hum of contentment and I pulled her into me, hugging her tightly and I felt the surge of love again. She was so beautiful and sweet but so fucking sexy. She made me feel drunk. Even moments after orgasming, I wanted her again. I put my face into her hair, smelling her sweet pomegranate shampoo. Lana hugged me back as she played with my chest hair, and I smiled, she loved to touch me there, and it felt so good when she did.

My mind wandered as she caressed me with her pretty little hands and pink fingernails. The first time she had touched my chest, she had seemed so hesitant and unsure, even looking at me for permission. It had been such a turn-on.

It had been so hard not to fuck her that first night. I did try and seduce her. I knew what effect I had on women. It's hard not to know when you're famous and have women hitting on you all the time. I think I could have, there were a few times there where if I had played my cards right she would have let me. But knowing what I know now, I'm happy I didn't. I'm sure she would have run, and I would never have seen her again.

When she did let me, she had knocked me for six when she bit me. It was almost out of nowhere, and the way she opened up to me after about her desires was amazing. We still had so much to explore, only just getting to know each other sexually. I could tell she was getting more comfortable with it. She was probably going to teach me a thing or two. That thing she did with the condom, I think I almost told her I loved her then. I chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?" Lana asked. Her accent made it sound like she said, "whadcha laughn at?" I don't know why, but her accent excited me, especially when she swore at me. Her mouth was filthy. Maybe it was the combination of her outward elegance and her potty mouth that I liked. It was such an exciting combination.

"Nothing, Sweetheart." I kissed her long neck gently and held her. She seemed to accept it and squeezed me into her.

"I love you, Lana," I said, and my heart stopped. She froze. I don't even think she was breathing. My blood was like ice as my heart started to beat again. Oh, God, I fucked up. I'm going to lose her this time. I wanted to take it back. I was such a fool. Fuck.

Then Lana found my mouth and kissed me. The warmth that spread through my body was such a relief. Her kiss held such sweetness and passion. It was the promise that I needed. She wasn't mad. She wasn't going to run away. I held her close and kissed her back. She didn't have to say it for me to know that she loved me too.

End.

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

While we're on the topic of Groundhog Day The Musical...

Some (not-so) fun stuff about Groundhog Day (the real event) and Punxsutawney (the real place)

I legit live within driving distance of Punxsutawney. Some fun things harsh facts to know about that:

Nobody actually calls it Punxsutawney. Nobody around here, anyway. Unless you are naming the groundhog, then yes, he is Punxsutawney Phil. No, the town is called "Punxsy" to anyone who lives around it (and most people who live in it), and I actually had to look up how to spell Punxsutawney because unless you live there or know someone who does you probably aren't even bothering to spell the town's name out either.

The town is smothered in groundhog symbolism. Phil is the one thing that hole town has going for it and they know it. So there are countless themed groundhog art pieces around the town. Most notable are the groundhog statues which just pepper the scenery. Yes, it is every bit as odd as it sounds but if you spend enough time there they tend to blend into the background.

The groundhog day movie may have captured the feel of a small town, but it didn't even come close to capturing the feel of Punxsy. Punxsy is really a hole of a town. Run down and rotting like so much of this area, the only kept up area of the town is Gobblers Knob... which, btw, is far FAR bigger than the movie would have you believe. That small clearing that you see in the movie is TINY compared to the practical PARK that Gobblers Knob is. Still...

Funny enough, Gobblers knob looks... boring. For as big an event as Groundhog Day is, there is very little that makes the place special the other 364 days a year. It's just a big open space downtown that you drive past to get to your destination. I've never really heard of a tourism industry for the town outside that day, and it shows. There's no grand banner, no huge marquee. It's just... a park. And not even a very nice park at that. The busiest streets in town go right through it. Really underwhelming actually.

I've taken more than my fair share of trips to Punxsy over the years, due to having various doctors appointments in the town. I hate it every time. I just don't like Punxsy. I don't like the town I do live in but, somehow, Punxsy seems worse. The attitude Phil has in the movie is very true to the opinion most of the people I meet have. Punxsy is an ARMPIT of a town and you couldn't pay me to live there. I'm sure, like the movie and musical show, that the people there are nice enough but, truth is? Sorry, this whole area of rural PA is diehard Trump Country and most of the people you'll find living around here are jerks. The story of someone from Pittsburgh coming to Punxsy and becoming a decent person would be far more realistic if it happened in REVERSE. (So keep playing Phil, @bakurapika! People from Pittsburgh are winners in my book)

Despite being a crap town, the Punxsy walmart always seems to have a full stock of action figures. If Brickseek is any indication, their shelves and pegs are never bare and on several occasions I have considered making the trip north just to visit their walmart for figs.

I don't think it's still there but there used to be a Dairy Queen on the outskirts of town. It was so weird, it was way too far outside of Punxsy to be a viable business, and I think that's why it eventually failed, but it was there for a while. You always knew you were getting close to the turn off when you hit the Dairy Queen.

Punxsy is where the streets have no name. Literally. I cannot tell you how many times I've tried to have people give me directions around the town only to be told "Well, no, that street HAS no name..." I had a dentist's office on one such road for years and all I could think of was that one Blue Collar Comedy Tour line of "Turn off the PAVED road..."

Bottom Line? I absolutely adore Groundhog Day The Musical. It's one of my favorites. But I also have, like, this burning need every time I start talking about it to throw this little list together because I am so dang disillusioned with Punxsy as a town. I WANT the Punxsy of Groundhog Day to exist. I want and wish for it with every fiber of my being. If IRL Punxsy was like the Punxsy in the musical, I'd pack my shit up and move there in a heartbeat.

But it's not. And it makes me so damn mad.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #456

“i don’t even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger, & that feels so rough”

What was the longest time you’ve had the hiccups for? I know at LEAST over an hour. I was in agony. What type of TV shows are your favourite? Animal docs. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? Bitch I still am lmao. Do you know anyone who has died in battle? No. When was the last time you went on an adventure? Bro, I could NOT tell you. I haven't had one of those in what feels like eons. What brand is your vacuum cleaner? I actually don't know. I don't pay attention. Are you good at rapping? Never tried, but I'm sure I'd be awful. I stutter too much. Name one world issue that upsets you. Just ONE????????? Well, I can name homelessness as very high on the list. How do you feel about tanning? I hate it. I can't stand the heat, so why would I deliberately go bake in it? Have you ever given a public speech? Yeah, in front of the whole 4th and 5th grade when I was innnn... one of those grades, idr which. It was for my D.A.R.E. essay. Do you read comic books? No. Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? NOOOOOOOOOOO I'm way too awkward. Kiss with your eyes open or closed? Bro who tf kisses with their eyes open, that shit is creepy. Do you believe you can change someone? No. One can only change themselves. How did you react when your first pet died? I have no memory of our first pet. Have you ever drawn anime? No. Can you use a pogo stick? When I was a kid, I became a MASTER. I got one for I want to say Christmas and I was obsessed. When’s the next time you’ll see the person that you like? Idk, first he needs to get on Facebook and see I messaged him alsdkfjalkdj. He like never gets on there. Do you like bathing/showering? No. One, it's a chore, and two, it's actually painful for me, standing up so long and propping my legs up and stuff like that to clean myself properly. Have you ever considered entering a race? HEEEEEEEEEEELL no. Rihanna or Lady Gaga? Probably Gaga, idk. Who was your first good kiss with? Jason. What accessory do you want in your bedroom? I actually kinda want a TV now? What do you take the most pictures of? Flowers. What are you always in the mood for? Lately, Krispy Kreme donuts, lol. I haven't had one in a very long time, but goddamn does a hot glazed donut sound BANGIN' right now and has for days. What is something that you never turn down? Hm... how am I blanking??? What is something that you always turn down when offered? Certain foods or drinks, like tea. Name something sexy about your significant other. I don't have one'a those. What is one of your hobbies that you refuse to give up? Um, idk. As interests work, I may move away from any hobby eventually. If you could be a professional in any sport what would it be? Dance. If you could be a professional at any instrument what would it be? Violin. Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician? A mortician. That job doesn't even seem all that bad to me? I think it'd be kinda chill somehow???? I could NEVER be a surgeon. I'd be terrified of fucking something up. Have you ever been on a subway? No. Are you in love? No. Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing? *eyes emoji* Do you want to get married when you’re older? Yes. What was the last band shirt you wore? PROBABLY my Metallica shirt? But I'm unsure, ultimately. You can have a milkshake right now. What flavor do you choose? Ugh, I've been wanting a nice chocolate milkshake for a while. Have you ever given someone flowers? For Mother's Day one year, I collected some wildflowers to put in a jar for Mom. I've also given Jason roses before. I really wanted to give Sara some when I surprised her for her birthday, but I didn't want to ask her parents to drive me somewhere where I could buy her some, ha ha. What day of the week is usually your busiest day? None. My days are all the same. Do you have any concerts coming up? No, but UGH, I was so hyped a few days ago because I saw Motionless In White was going on tour next year, but of course they're going to the big city on the OTHER end of the state versus the capital, which I'm way closer to. -_- Bands ALWAYS choose Charlotte on the super rare occasion they come to NC... Do you like or hate the smell of fish? Ugh, I hate it. What’s your favorite brand of chips? Doritos, maybe? Between Mountain Dew and those... I am such a fucking gamer stereotype lmfao. Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud? I think I had to before in school? Idr. Do you like pineapple? Love it. Does your house have a dishwasher? Yes. A dishwasher is one thing I MUST have in my own future house. I cannot stand touching dirty dishes. Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo? Oh, absolutely. Sunflower tattoos are especially popular around here. How many different languages can you say goodbye in? English, German, and uhhh Spanish? Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies. I don't mind them. I've never understood the hate, honestly? I think he's capable of being funny. Have you ever had to get a tooth pulled? If so, what for? Only by myself when I was a kid losing my baby teeth. Have you ever dated anyone while they were in jail? Nooooo. If you’ve ever babysat, do you like it? Fuck no, I hate it. What is your favorite flavor on sunflower seeds? I don't like those. Do you get cold easily? No, but I get hot extremely easily. Do you get a lot of spiders in your house? I don't think so, no. Do you admire nature? I positively adore nature. If only we treated it better... Name one naughty thing you’ve done. Done sexual things in places I probably shouldn't have, oops. Name two of your favorite things as a child. Pokemon and Webkinz. Do you own a Pillow Pet? No. They're cute, though. My niece has one. Do you tend to solve problems with violence? Absolutely not. Have either of your parents gone to jail? No. Do you know a hoarder? Yes. Do you wax, pluck, or leave your eyebrows? I just leave 'em be, honestly. Do you have any interesting scar stories? Not really. Do you hate the texture of meatballs? No, I love me some meatballs. Do you get migraines? Very, very rarely. They fucking suck. Do you like guns? NOOOOOOO guns terrify me alsd;kjfal;sdjfk Are turtles amazing creatures? All animals are. :') How much time do you spend taking surveys? A whole lot. It's just that I'm like... always bored and the randomness of surveys can add interesting little flares to the day, I guess. Would you rather visit: The Eiffel Tower or Egyptian Pyramids? Pyramids, for sure. Would you like to work at a candy shop? No. I don't want to work directly with people. Do you have feelings for someone? It's funny; now that I've settled the extreme indecision, I've come to realize that they're very strong feelings. How you go from being indecisive to really, really liking somebody, hell if I know. Which one of your guy friends is the best looking? Uhhh Girt is like my only real guy friend, so I guess it's by default him, ha ha. I'm not particularly attracted to him, but he's not ugly by any means. Do you have anything to say to your ex bf/gf? I'm so sorry. Which band do you have the most of on your iPod/music player? Either Ozzy or Metallica. Most likely Ozzy, though. Which song describes your mood at the moment? Hm. I dunno. Which movie(s) do you quote the most? None, really. Which one of your best friend’s friends would you most likely date? None; we don't share irl friends, being many states apart, and not even that many online ones. Would you ever let anybody else drive your car? I don't have my own car. Which one of your friends will be the most successful? I'm not psychic. What store did you last shop at? Mom and I picked up a Wal-Mart order the other day. Do you think telepathy is real? Absolutely not. When did you last draw something for fun? A few days ago, I started a drawing of Maieykio for Sara. Who makes the most in your entire family? I have no idea. Do you like writing essays? I don't mind, if the topic interests me. Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal? Nah. Well, I think you can take it to an visual extreme, but that's just my opinion. Do what makes you comfortable in your own body. Do you take your trash to the dump or have it picked up? It's picked up. When you sneeze do you sneeze into your shirt or your hands? The inside of my elbow. Do you usually have sex in the morning, noon or night time? It usually happened at night. Did you ever fail your learners/drivers test? Haven't taken it yet. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? OH MY GOD NEITHER Name someone you’ve become a lot closer to recently: No one, really? Well, unless you count my change of feelings for Girt, but it's just that: a type of change. I've loved him platonically since high school, and it's like, I feel the same for him, just in a romantic way now? Does your car have a sunroof? No. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? My mom. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Nope, not how I roll. Who’s the last person you cuddled with? Sara. Unless you count my cat. Are you friends with any of your teachers on Facebook? Former teachers, yes. I feel kinda bad for 'em now... They're all the sweetest, God-fearing people, and then there's my outspoken (online) and liberal ass sharing shit that's gotta disappoint them now lmaoooo.

[veralovemail]

Hi! I would love myself a matchup if it's ok 👉👈

I'm female and pan, I'd prefer one of the males tho, Survivors please!

So uhhhh I differ in my personality a lot depending on the situation! I'm more of a loner around strangers IRL— shy, quiet, I don't like interacting and prefer to stay by the sidelines since being in the middle makes me uncomfy.

I try to be as polite as I can, even keeping in my opinions and pain a lot as to not Hurt anyone. I also tend to blame myself a lot for bad situations I'm a part in unless I know I absolutely didn't do anything!

Also I'm quite hot headed and have a bad temper, though I'm working on it! I have quite the problem with guilt and it comes to me fairly quickly when I do something bad.

Ah yeah I'm really forgetful and also really impatient KNRKS

Now- online!!

I'm a lot more open and chaotic. I like to tease my friends and jokingly make fun of them, etc. I try and stop when they tell me to, but I might understand it as them just joking too if they write it that way in my eyes-

I try to look on the positive side for them and their situations and am always willing to make someone happy even without words since it makes me happy too. I'd say I'm caring to a fault- I don't let loose until they finally do something healthy that they've been avoiding and I do get rather angry if I'm not taken seriously with that, causing me to maybe lash out at someone unwillingly,,- and then guilt pops in like "hi there 😍" KDHDJDJ

Anyway,

I encourage anyone to vent, though I'm not the best at giving advice. I'm more of a person who likes to listen and give support if they need it. Oh yeah- my attention span is REALLY short (as short as me good ol' 5'1 me aNENSJJSJD) so I get distracted pretty easily and procrastinate then.

As for hobbies: I love to draw! (As you might know-)Music is my life (especially Jazz) and video games are, too. Though mostly singleplayer Games since I only really like multiplayer with friends-

What else can I write..

Maybe like- I'm an ISFP-T And I think it was 5w6 that I was given by another test

I also got Philophobia, the fear of falling in love because of bad experiences but I'm tryna work on it!!

I guess I can also write about my appearance? I've got short, curly but chaotic black hair that's p much swept to the side- I'm definitely not that skinny lmao- and as I've said before, I'm 5'1! I usually wear casual clothes (hoodies, e.g!! They're so comfy...) I also got brown eyes and glasses!

I think that should be it.. ah yeah! In your introduction, you should prolly add your ID for others to add you because name search doesn't work! :0

Ok that's really it now- take your time, don't rush yourself and stay safe and hydrated!! 💕💕 Hope your blog takes off!

Sorry for my English by the way- I'm German so I might've messed up on a few things!

OH MY LORD I DID NOT KNOW THAT I HAD TO PUT IN MY ID... oml... thank u for telling me that. and don't worry about it, i can see how it'd be difficult (i actually studied german for my gcses :], it was very fun) but anyways! tysm for sending in btw!! i loved writing this, i hope u enjoy - mod vera ♡

i match you with ... naib subedar!

he kinda takes on to your quiet personality, unlike some of the other people around the manor. it's relaxing to be around somebody who doesn't talk much.

you two most likely met when robbie came over to the survivors' side of the mansion, jokingly demanding sweets... but it most likely sounded authentic. and oh god, is that an axe-

you two accidentally locked eyes but you both had a " ah shit, here we go again " face. it just kinda went from there.

at first, he's a tough nut to crack, but if you try hard enough, within a month or so you gain his trust and he .. deems you a friend?

you both kinda start falling for eachother after a period of time, but naib is great at hiding it BUT SIKE, so are you! it's like a game of who can pine for the other in the most subtle way possible.

however, if you tell him about your own troubles with falling in love, he may just open up a little too about his own troubles.

it's takes a while for you two to build a relationship, but eventually (after a lot of rescues, late night hangouts and just being near eachother) you make it!

when he learns about your more chaotic side, naib tries to keep up with you as best he can, he may just need a little tug to do so.

he loves your smile, especially the one you have when you're talking about your passions.

he also tries to help with your temper, but he's just as bad as you are.

however, he's there whenever you have a bad day - he can almost instantly tell, even if you try keep it to yourself. it could be the way you look at him, try to smile or talk, he does notice the change in your aura.

since your shorter than him, he likes holding you. it makes him feel like he's just protecting you from anything and anything, especially on one of your bad days.

he likes your optimism, looking on the good side of every situation. he once saw you trying to comfort robbie when he started crying about not finding any sweets around and you told him "look on a brightside robbie! now we know for next time to stash some away for you before we eat it all!" AND OH GOD, IS THAT AN AXE?

naib gets frequent nightmares about his time being a hired merc, so sometimes you may get woken up at 3 am because he's a bit distressed and needs a bit of comfort.

other times, he just finds holding you while you're fast asleep enough to put him back in a coma for the next 2 hours.

naib also encourages you to talk to him about stuff. whether it be what made you mad, how much of a bitch vera can be, ect. he's there for you and that man is never gonna let you carry your burdens alone.

saying that, you also have to remind him that he can't carry his own burdens sometimes and when you encourage him to talk to you about what's upsetting him, he'll most likely tell, depending on how bad it is.

he also grounds you a lot!! if you tell him about your forgetfulness, he's most likely going to try and remind you.

" hey, [ name ], you did bring [ item ] into the match, right? "

" um... "

" goddamnit [ name ], i thought i reminded you "

naib takes it upon himself to rescue you, or keep you within his general vicinity if you're in a match with him. he does know you can kite very well though! he just wants you near him for a bit of reassurance.

he can be mean sometimes, but he means it in the most endearing way possible since most of it is sarcasm.

you two kinda have " stab as a warning " vibes so nobody really opposes the two of you. even norton. not even freddy dares to oppose you because the last time he did, aesop almost had to prepare his equipment to embalm the poor fella.

when you lash out at someone, naib is there almost immediately to take you away to calm down and comfort you when your guilt kicks the door down and goes " Hey girlie! Hold still 😎 "

sometimes you have to do the same for him because you both have a tendency to lash out.. but.. never at eachother? you two kinda agree on the same things, there isn't much to exactly disagree on.

please draw him!! watch him while he's training in the garden and draw him, or just a few silly doodles of him.

he likes looking at your drawings, it kinds boosts his ego knowing that he's worthy enough to be drawn.

if he finds out that you like music, he'll tell you about nepalese music, or at least what he knew of it - if you both get engrossed in it, he may try and get you some records to play.

teach him how to dance, if you can. it'd make listening to music together way more fun.

he's very content with you!! he likes kissing you out of nowhere, too. you could just be chilling and naib would come up to you, turn you around and give you a smooch outta nowhere. but only in private.

i feel like neither of you would be big on pda, you just stick to holding hands around the manor.

if this were in a modern setting, you two could probably play a game like phasmaphobia together just for funsies.

all in all, your relationship with naib is mutually beneficial and robbie has learned to never ask for sweets again.

i hope you enjoy this <3 it's my first time writing naib too so i apologise if it's not very good </3

[connoissuer-of-fine-vines]

Ayden sounds absolutely adorable and I just want to pinch his freckled cheeks, and Patroclus sound like could definitely turn a few heads, definitely Marcel's XD. Being from Innistrad what dose Ayden think of the Orzhov and their long history with enslaving the dead? Has Patroclus been to Ikoria? Perhaps he could train with the animal bonders of that plane to improve his animal handling magics?

Yep, Ayden is an adorable bookworm and Patroclus is definitely a beefcake. Oh boy, that's a can of worms. Ayden has a STRONG phobia of the undead. His dad fell victim to a stitcher when Ayden was a child. The stitcher decided to let his creation wander and since it had Ayden's dad's head and thus some of his memories ended going home. Needless to say that's a terrifying experience. That is also why Ayden's mom gave him to the church. She couldn't handle taking care of him by herself and there was a strong familial resemblance between Ayden and his dad so every time she looked at Ayden she saw her husband and what he became and couldn't handle that either.

So Ayden definitely fit in well with the Conclave since they also share his abhorrence of undead magic. He definitely hates what the Orzhov does with debtors and how they manipulate contracts to be able to enslave souls. As for the members who freely decide to become spirits after death, he really wouldn't hate them for being spirits. He doesn't really have negative feelings against spirits since most spirits on Innistrad aren't purposely trying to haunt people. He'd hate them for their greed and any selfish actions. As for the spirits of the debtors, he'd pity them and wish he could free them.

Ayden is definitely glad that the Golgari tend to stay underground because their type of undead is a lot closer to what you'd see on Innistrad and that sets him off like none other. I wrote a Guilds of Ravnica/Ravnica Allegiance "short" (50ish pages) where Ayden is kidnapped and taken into the Undercity of Ravnica and my poor boy does not have a good time. It also includes some fan characters of @leafdrake-haven in it. Since apparently that block is my muse when it comes to writing MtG fanwalker stuff.

The gang (Ayden and Patroclus plus @leafdrake-haven's Rhynn and Helis{totally can't tell that we're irl friends and have developed our characters together :P }) does make a trip to Ikoria, Patroclus and Rhynn like the plane much more than Ayden and Helis. Patroclus would definitely return to learn more from the bonders. He'd probably do that while Ayden is on Kaldheim learning Foretelling magic or at Strixhaven. After their first trip Patroclus did notice that his bonds with animals was much stronger and intense, being able to see and hear and smell like his bonded partner. When he does spend more time there honing his skill, he'll be able to take on more aspects of his partner like claws, fangs, scales, and maybe even fire breathing.

Thanks for all the asks and sorry for the novel.

[fan-clan-fun]

 I submitted something about the structure of one of my fanclans a little while ago and thought it’d be fun to submit the rest of them! Just more brief descriptions than super detailed. I’d love it if you took a look!

Sorry this took so long to respond to, the size was a bit intimidating, but lets do this!

I’m also quickly noting that there’s a lot of things here that cats can’t do. Most notably, crafting, which here includes weaving, tying, etc. I know it’s unrealistic, I just can’t be bothered to care. And I know the map is a little empty right now, I’m workin’ on it.

You do you, if you want realism thats okay, if you dont, thats okay too! Just make sure in universe you are consistent, because thats where things can get awkward. 

To make things a little more understandable, let’s say these cats have more human-like paws. Think how paws are used in MAPs - the cats can point, make expressions with them, etc. They’re still paws, but can be used in more productive ways.

That doesnt seem like too much of a stretch, and that would make several things more easily possible.

The three clans - ForestClan, SeaClan, and CliffClan - are known (to me, at least), as ‘The Coastal Clans.’ The geography and aesthetic is supposed to match that of a Northwestern coast - think Northern California and Oregon. It’s cold, foggy, and wet most of the time. ForestClan inhabits a temperate redwood rainforest, SeaClan prowls the beaches and the ocean, and CliffClan claims the cliffs that overlook the beaches and ocean (as well as the meadows above the cliffs).

Seems like a good premise, and you can use some irl locations for inspiration and to help flesh it out. 

SeaClan, as said, claims the beaches and the sea as their territory. They are powerful swimmers, with thick, water-resistant fur to keep them warm when in the water. They have big, webbed paws that help propel them underwater. Unlike the canon water clan, RiverClan, who do quite a bit of their fishing at the surface of the water, SeaClan dive for their food. They do, of course, eat lots of fish, but a good portion of their food is also plucked from the sea floor - including clams, sea urchins, and oysters. Plenty of their food is found on the shore, too, though - they often dig for clams and crabs, and pry mussels off rocks.

This is actually really cool cause it makes use of their extra dexterity and ability.

SeaClan, like ForestClan, does not have a conventional leading system, nor do the cats have a StarClan. Instead of one leader, SeaClan has two - the Tidecaller and the Moonsinger (these just being titles, leaders will still keep their normal names). The Moonsinger is the more conventional of the two leaders. The Moonsinger is in charge of all the usual stuff: naming ceremonies, assigning mentors, leading the clan through hardship. The Tidecaller, however, is the spiritual leader. They are the one in charge of spiritual ceremonies - ascension to leadership, naming ceremonies for kits, etc. - as well as interpreting the will and signs of the sea. It is not common for the Moonsinger to receive visions or prophecies. Another notable difference is the leadership ceremony - when one becomes one of the leaders of SeaClan, they are ritually drowned.. And if they survive the ordeal (all leaders in recent history have survived), it’s a sign they have been approved of by the sea and gifted their nine lives (both gain nine lives). There is still a medicine cat, it’s just that the spiritual aspect is removed from the role.

So far Seaclan is distinct from most water-based clans and I appreciate its culture. Part of me wonders what originally led for the leadership to be split up, but the imagery makes sense.

SeaClan refers to ‘The Sea’ as their deity. As it is the basis of their entire lives, from birth to death, it is worshiped and respected greatly. Part of the respect, undoubtedly, comes from fear - though most, if not all SeaClan cats love the ocean, it’d be hard to deny how scary it can be. How vast, deep, and dark it is. It could take your life away in a heartbeat, drown you or drag you out to sea with no mercy (a quick note here: these cats also have some knowledge of a crude version of CPR - and yes, it is a lesson all apprentices must learn). They believe it is important to respect the waves - as it should then respect you back. If Sharkbait was dragged out by the riptide, he was not giving the sea the respect it deserved - perhaps he turned his back to the waves for a little too long. The other side of their religion, or their other deity, would be the Moon, as the moon pushes and pulls the tides. It’s not worshipped nearly as much as The Sea, but SeaClan cats still recognize its importance. Hence, we have the 'Moon'singer and the 'Tide'caller. SeaClan cats do not know of the afterlife, but dead cats are ‘buried’ at sea. If a SeaClan cat is not buried at sea, they believe they will then never walk in the afterlife - instead, they will be cursed to wander the land as a ghost and will never be allowed to return to the ocean. However, this has only proven to be a problem for evil cats (who don’t deserve the respect) or SeaClan cats that join other clans.

Okay right two deities, two leaders, makes sense. So far Seaclan seems to have a cohesive religion, nice.

As for trading, although their skill or style is not quite as refined as the other clans, SeaClan’s crafts are highly sought after for the materials used. Pearls, shells, sea glass, starfish, driftwood - most of their materials used are considered quite beautiful. Don’t tell the SeaClan cats, but most of their things end up getting taken apart to be repurposed for other jewelry, clothing, or other adornments.

I suppose the trade off of precious materials/lower refinement makes sense, although part of me worries that it could be used as a way to look down on this clan as less-civilized which could be a bit uncomfy. 

(On the map)

Mussel Rock - a rather large rock that is covered in mussels. A great place for food.

Tide Rocks - a large clump of rocks that are often used for sunbathing or recreational swimming. They’re also a great place to dive for hunting. They’re called the Tide Rocks because they’re sometimes impossible to get to or stand on because of a high tide, or can just be walked right on to during a low tide.

Shell Shore - a corner of the beach that is absolutely covered with shells. Not only shells, but driftwood, sea glass, pretty rocks, starfish. A common place to get crafting materials. Apprentices often spend hours poring over the choices, trying to figure out the best one to give to their crush.

The Falls - another sort of recreational spot. It’s good for teaching younger apprentices how to swim without taking them into the ocean, and a great source of fresh water.

SeaClan kits have the suffix -shell, apprentices have the suffix -shore. SeaClan leaders do not take a unique suffix.

I currently do not have any plans for the leaders, deputies, or medicine cat.

And, for fun, a song or two for SeaClan’s aesthetic/vibe: Ghost on the Shore by Lord Huron, and Fire by Noah Gunderson.

Looks good so far!

​​​​​​​Next up is CliffClan!

CliffClan inhabit the golden grassy meadows above the cliffs, as well as the cliffs themselves. Compared to the other clans, they are seen as rather laid-back and carefree. Hippies, basically. Typically, they’re lighter in color - lilac, yellow, golden, pale brown, pale grey - and are leaner. Hunting takes place both on the cliffs and in the meadows for CliffClan cats. On the cliffs, birds and birds’ eggs make great meals, and in the meadows, rabbits, mice, ground birds, and other creatures are quite common. Even the occasional squirrel, though they’re typically caught dangerously close to ForestClan’s borders. CliffClan territory gets much more sunlight than other territories and is typically a fair bit warmer. The camp is underneath a great, ancient willow tree - the hanging leaves create a natural partition and protect the cats underneath from rain, wind, hail and whatever else the world might throw at them. The borders (where the leaves hang) have been reinforced with bramble to create a more secure and clear camp. There are two partings/entrances in the camp, one to the territory, and another to an outdoor camp. The outdoor part of camp isn’t too reliable during storms, but for cats who prefer sleeping under the stars or want to nap in the sun, it’s perfect. It also smells rather nice, as the medicine cat keeps an herb garden in a portion of the outdoor camp.

Cliffclan territory and camp sounds lovely!  Although willows do tend to grow closer to water or wetter land and since it looks like Cliffclan territory doesnt have a lot of trees, it is a bit odd for this one massive willow to exist on its own, particularly away from water. Maybe move it near to a little pond or lake? Or set it in a small group of willows in some wetlands? But thats up to you, and you did mention the map wasn’t complete so I may not have the full picture. 

Rather than worshipping a deity, to CliffClan, nature is divine. All life is interconnected. Each piece of nature is itself, it’s own being, and they have no need to apply fancy names or powers to them. The sun brings warmth and light, the wind carries the scent of prey and salt, the rain brings water and cool refreshment after the hot months. Respect and love all parts of nature. “Hear the voice that sings to everything that always has and always will.”

Definitely sounds a little hippy lol. But it fits them well I think. 

CliffClan’s main crafts include weaving, feathers, and ‘tools.’ Dry grass and reeds are woven together to create bracelets/anklets, chokers, and blankets. Feathers are often tucked into those as well. They also weave small baskets that can be used by the medicine cat to hold herbs, or woven grass pouches that can be worn over the body to collect things. One example is the pouches being used to hold eggs as CliffClan cats collect them from birds’ nests. CliffClan has the best technique for weaving by far, making their woven items highly sought after.

I like that they have the ability to collect and organize, it could be cool if different clan members had their own little collections or weaving patterns. They seem to be more independent and chill to have the time to do more things for pleasure. 

(On the map)

The Ponds - a nice spot for cats to relax. It’s a good hunting spot and wonderful swimming spot. Sometimes there’ll even be a fish to catch!

Out of the three clans, CliffClan’s appointment system is the most similar to the canon clans’. Kits are still -kit, apprentices are still -paw. There is still a deputy and medicine cat. However, leaders do not take a special suffix.

CliffClan’s current leader is Brightsun, a seemingly soft-spoken tom with a missing hind leg. His aura is very friendly and warm - one can tell he was chosen to be leader because of his undying kindness and love for his clanmates, not because of his battle skills. He has a himbo husband mate, Hawkheart, and four adopted kits: Thunderpaw, Stormpaw, Rainpaw, and Windpaw.

CliffClan’s deputy has not yet been decided.

CliffClan’s medicine cat is Ripplestream, a former SeaClan warrior. He’s a bit skittish, and just a tad shy. But he truly does love his craft, and, so far, hasn’t looked back on his decision to leave SeaClan. Brightsun and Ripplestream are particularly close, since Brightsun was his mentor (he used to be the medicine cat - you may think, medicine cat to leader? that’s kinda cringe bro. i’m here to strangle cringe culture with my bare hands, and, Brightsun’s whole backstory will be submitted at a later date).

Its not that cringe, its just curious. Is that a normal thing? How do Cliffclan choose their leaders? 

CliffClan’s head monarch is Primroseclaw, former deputy. She retired after she found a mate - her desire was always to serve her clan, and there were other ways to do so than becoming leader. She’s very caring with kits, but strict with adult cats, as they should know better. Primroseclaw is Brightsun’s maternal aunt.

I don’t necessarily see this as an issue as long as there isnt the implication that motherhood as a female is the ultimate way to serve, as that can be alienating for those who cant or dont want to birth or raise kits. But I mean all power to her if that was what she wanted. 

CliffClan’s song/aesthetic: The Well by Woodland.

Lastly, there’s ForestClan! These cats inhabit the temperate redwood rainforest, and are generally seen as the most ‘mysterious,’ because they’re literally shrouded by the darkness of the trees. Typically, ForestClan cats are big and muscular, typically long-furred with darker pelts. Brown is especially common, as well as black and tortoiseshell. Ginger cats are seen as a bit prettier, and, depending on the times, white cats can be seen as beautiful or as a bad omen (it’s harder to hunt in the dark forest with a white pelt). They hunt all sorts of forest creatures, such as squirrels, mice, chipmunks, racoons, rabbits, etc. ForestClan cats are even known to take down animals as big as deer. This is only done on rare occasions - such as for a Gathering or in times of great hunger - but it’s still quite the impressive feat.

Deer are a pretty big thing to take on, Im curious how they do it. If they can take on deer, does this mean that other more natural to their size predators (foxes, badgers, coyotes, etc) aren’t as much of an issue?

I explained the deities and system in another post, but I’ll go over it briefly. ForestClan has three deities - The Sisters - who live on their territory in the form of three ancient, enormous redwood trees. Maieth is the largest tree, and the eldest sister. The leader who represents her duty to ForestClan is called Maieth’s Ward. The second eldest, the dead tree, is Kenoake, the leader who represents her is called Kenoake’s Ward. And the youngest sister, the smallest tree, Aerin - the leader who represents her, is, you guessed it, called Aerin’s Ward. The leaders’ deputies are more like apprentices who have to learn the ins and outs of their role, as there is much more to it than keeping everybody safe from harm.

Oh yes I remember that post. Its all coming together now.

ForestClan’s crafts are also highly sought after, as they make the most use from clay, bones, and paints. Crafts also pay a larger role in clan life to ForestClan than in the other clans. All kits are given necklaces when they’re born, each with a clay bead and a piece of bark from each of the Sisters strung on it. For each event in their life - their apprentice ceremony, their warrior ceremony, a particularly impressive catch, officially becoming mates with another cat, etc. they gain another bead and another piece of bark (from the tree that best pertains to the event; ceremonial from Kenoake, becoming a parent from Maieth, gaining apprentice from Aerin). Necklaces can be decorated with feathers, bones, etc. is the cat so wishes. For special ceremonies, ForestClan cats decorate themselves with ‘paint’ made from crushed berries or mud. They also have special bone wear - tied together with sinew, they drape bones over their pelts, such as rib bones. Leaders wear the skulls of killed deer during ceremonies.

I like the idea of the beads and bark based on what happens during their lives, its a really nice way to remember and give meaning. 

ForestClan cats don’t wear as much ‘clothing’ as SeaClan or CliffClan, their specialty lies in more decorative crafts. One of which is their bone wind chimes, put together with sinew, sticks, and clay. This is especially popular with CliffClan, who enjoy placing them on the branches of the Great Willow. ForestClan’s camp is thoroughly decorated with them, and they’re also used as markers in the woods so cats don’t get lost. Their other especially popular craft is clay bowls. These are great for medicine cats to store their herbs, or to carry fresh water to camp. ForestClan cats also use them to store and crush berries to be used as paint.

Wait wait, clothing? I didnt realize the other clans wore a form of clothing. Why do they wear clothing? Is it to protect themselves, to better carry tools? As for the bone wind chimes, thats a lovely image, both haunting and beautiful to think that these cats have the knowledge to understand and enjoy music.

(On the map)

Mossy Hollow - a soft area for sparring and learning to climb. The mossy ground makes it so, if they fall, it’s not too rough. The springiness also makes it a great spot to practice leaps and fighting/hunting moves. The pond is a great source of fresh water, and the light shining through the trees makes it a good spot to sunbathe.

ForestClan kits are called -sprout, and apprentices are called -sap (sapling). Leaders do not take a special suffix.

This is super cute, I love these suffixes. 

Maieth’s Ward has not been decided, nor has their deputy/apprentice.

Kenoake’s Ward has not been decided. Konoake’s Ward’s deputy/apprentice is Butterflywood, a very gentle cat. They are a bit accident prone, a bit.. Out there. They seem a little odd, but are quite kind, especially to curious kits and apprentices.

Aerin’s Ward has not been decided. Aerin’s Ward’s deputy/apprentice is Cinderspark, a very spunky, eccentric she-cat. She’s quite small for a ForestClan cat, but has very good reflexes and is fast. She’s very excitable as well - I don’t think anyone will be getting over her extremely rambunctious response to becoming deputy anytime soon. Even though she finds it a bit hard to focus sometimes, Aerin’s Ward cited she’d be a great fit for the role - she’s practically Aerin reincarnated!

Vibes: Cocoa Hooves by Glass Animals

As for other details:

Having mates outside of your clan is not forbidden, but it’s taboo - more like an unspoken rule. Both inter clan relationships and half clan kits are frowned upon.. But there’s no punishment for it, save for perhaps the disapproving reaction of one’s clanmates. Medicine cats can have mates and kits.

‘Star’ is a perfectly acceptable prefix. ‘Paw’ is used as more of an insult or to make fun - such as calling someone Heavypaws for being too loud while hunting, or saying someone’s a Wetpaw for falling into the river/pond/ocean. CliffClan cats don’t use this very much, for obvious reasons.

Interesting, but does open up the ability to make names with star as both prefix and suffix I suppose. 

Cats may also leave their clans to join another, if they wish. Again, it’s not forbidden, but it’s.. Odd. Chances are the cat would be then hated by their own clan and an outcast in their new one (well, save for CliffClan, they’re probably the most welcoming of all). The other issue is that of a culture shock - unlike the canon clans, where, if it weren’t for the territory differences, would be just about all the same, the Coastal Clans are quite different. The different territory, leadership system, naming system, etc. might all be a bit tricky to get the hang of. There’s also the issue of the afterlife - where will they go? For example, for Ripplestream, he’s incredibly scared that since he won’t be buried at sea.. Will he be cursed to live as a ghost for the rest of his existence? Will he be taken in by whatever afterlife is offered to CliffClan? It’s all awfully frightening. It makes the issue of switching clans one that needs careful consideration.

I feel like hearing Ripplestream’s background would also help to understand some of the smaller details of this. But it does make sense that it would be odd. These clans dont seem to be aggressive or territorial so it does make sense that they might not react as badly as they could to cats moving clans. Most of the stress seems to fall on whoever is moving, as they would have to learn to live a whole new way of life. 

There is no communal gathering spot - each moon, a different clan will host the gathering. CliffClan often hosts the gatherings at The Ponds, ForestClan at the Mossy Hollow, and SeaClan at The Falls. Gatherings are less formal events held by the clans to report of new apprentices, kits, findings, etc. They’re fun! Gatherings are often all day events, full of competitive games (sparring, hunting contests - medicine cats even have herbal trivia competitions), chatting, gossip, trading, and eating. Each clan brings prey and crafts from their own territory. These Gatherings are held bi-monthly, on the day of the full moon.

Each clan often comes dressed their best - SeaClan with their shells, ForestClan with their bones and paint smeared on their fur, CliffClan with their woven wear. Of course, by the end of the Gathering, most of this is put aside as the cats get more comfortable with each other.

So Im curious as to why the gatherings even happen. Was there some kind of war way back in the past which requried a peace settlement? Was it cultures seeking a way to trade and congregate together so a monthly gathering was a good way to do that? So far seems like you have thought through this quite well. Thanks for the submission!

[reynesofcastamere]

Surface Breach(2/3)[β]

(A/N: Good grief but it has been a while since my last contribution to the ship. Sad to say I’ve been caught up with several irl things, including moving and settling in to the new place. Rest assured, I do have several drafts in the works for other projects and I am hoping to set up a regular writing/submission schedule. Now that that’s out of the way...Warnings for: possessive behaviour, emotional manipulation, (negotiated) bondage, blindfolding, edging, cockwarming, blood, masochism and mentions of polyamory, coitus interruptus, and non-consensual play.  Unbeta’d and NSFW.)

Ahsoka knows the second she sets foot on her ship that time is up. She could still flee, drag this game out a bit longer and drive up the level of his frustration...But what would be the point, really? It’s been months since they parted ways, and while she hasn’t avoided his calls, she’s also made a point of not meeting with him in person. A reprimand for his behaviour, and a reminder of the challenge she’d issued.  She recalls the first, trembling breath of relief she’d taken after the medical scans were complete. He has no further hold over her than this. Nothing burrowed and secreted away beneath her skin to...Do any number of things, really. Most of which she’d rather not consider right now.

Maul is of course perfectly at ease in the pilot’s seat, already turned to face her. “Lady Tano. I trust that your last assignment was successful.” He’s being neutral, bordering on pleasant, even. But the tension is there, kept in check by the slimmest thread of restraint. “And I trust that you’re not here for small talk.” Ahsoka makes certain to keep a few feet of distance between them, arms crossed. The corner of his mouth twitches, the speed of it leaving her unsure of whether he meant to smirk or grimace. “You have business on Nar Shadaa, and I have certain...interests that need tending there.” “So you decided to catch a ride. Without asking.”  “You would have refused even if I had offered compensation. This is the most expedient method of travel.” Maul’s eyes narrow, attempting to pierce through and determine her intent. “Unless you plan to run in order to spite me.” “I’m not running anywhere.” Ahsoka retorts. “But I’m also not going to spend three whole days in hyperspace...entertaining you.” “Naturally. However, when we are not occupied with tasks and other essentials, you will make good on your promise, my Lady. Now please, sit.”  She takes up residence in the navigator’s seat, given that he’s obviously not willing to move. “I told you to stop calling me that.”

“What does it matter, if you are not truly mine? Just a monster’s delusion. Unless...”

“Don’t. Start. You can use either of my names. Just not...that.” “As you wish.”

Nothing else is said for some time. Even after the ship takes off, the course is set in, and space has blurred into blue lines, there are other responsibilities that need to be taken care of. Ahsoka has to stop herself from dragging out the time. She’s not looking forward to this. The discussion she needs to have with him, not what might happen afterward.

“Look, if this is going to continue, there need to be some ground rules.”

 “Explain.”

“First off: Unless I’m badly injured or in immediate danger, you’re not allowed to just...carry me back to your lair, no matter what your reasons are.” He’s more than capable of coming up with a multitude of excuses to do so. Which is why she’s cutting him off at the knees, figuratively speaking.  “Second: This arrangement doesn’t interfere with work. Ever. Third: I decide when anything starts. You’re not allowed to grab or molest me in any way before that.” 

Maul appears mildly amused, but the small tics that betray his impatience are growing. “This seems rather excessive for a casual arrangement.”

 Ahsoka pins him in place with a look and a hint of a Force hold. “I’m not finished. Fourth: Any marks left behind have to be concealable.” She’d walk away from this ‘business trip’ with more visible punctures in her than being dropped into a giant cacti forest on Yavin 13 otherwise.  “Fifth: No matter how far along we are, if I say ‘kyber’, we stop what we’re doing. No questions, no persuasion, nothing. If you don’t have a safeword, then pick one and tell me.”

“Is ‘stop’ somehow inadequate?” The question is soft as she releases her unseen grasp on him. Even seated, something in him reminds her of a hunter in the moment before a kill; tense with anticipation and bloodthirst.   “No.” She wets her lower lip. There’s no going back from this confession, hard as it had been for her to admit it to herself. Much less him.  “When I use ‘stop’, it usually means ‘go harder’.”

Maul’s grip is practically throttling the armrest at this point. He is trying, from the shudder in his breath, to follow the rules she’s set out so far. That’s a good sign. His eyes, though? There’s a flicker in them that she used to see from the people she’d helped or rescued during the war. The ones who fully believed that the Jedi were capable of miracles and could do no wrong. A kind of...awe. Achingly soft, and in his case, almost buried beneath avarice and raw desire. She fights the urge to squirm, and it’s not entirely from discomfort. “Is that all?”

“Yes.”

“Good, ‘scimitar’ should suffice. I have some conditions of my own.” Every word is a caress, heavy and deliberate. “You are, of course, free to object.” He produces the blindfold she’d given him from within his shirt. She remembers exactly how he’d taken her apart; bound by choice and utterly enthralled. “So long as you wear this, you will obey.” Maul purrs, heat suffusing her body as he winds and pulls the fabric taut between his fingers. “I’m not going to call you ‘Master’.” Ahsoka is certain he’d like almost nothing more. She gets far too much pleasure out of denying him, however. So he’ll have to earn it first.

“Yet.” Maul responds, overconfident ass that he is. “I have no desire for you to dull your tongue. But you will submit to my commands.” He leans in, nearly closing the gap between them, but not quite. “Such as if I tell you to get down on your knees and show me how you pleasure yourself.” He’s only saying it to provide an example, yet her thighs rub together all the same at the thought. Sightless, her cunt exposed and dripping while he watches, giving obscene praise and instructions on how to bring herself to orgasm.

“Should you want to take control, all you need do is remove it. Or ask that it be taken off.” Of course he’s not done yet. Has to finish having his say first, and bring her arousal to a fever-pitch with the only options currently allowed. “Any amount of marks you receive from other paramours, I will match in number, and I will take first priority.” There is a jealous glint, a madness in his eyes that should terrify her. “Regardless of your position and how close your mutual release is.”  Ahsoka sucks in a sharp breath. “You really expect me to just...make someone leave while they’re-”  “Yes.” Maul snarls, hushed and vicious in a way that brooks no refusal. Much as she might like to, if she does not compromise, give some inch of ground...He will lash out. Ultimately, he’s not asking for much. So far. “And should you draw a weapon on me again-” His left hand circles her jaw without actually making contact, though the intent is clear. “-be prepared to use it.” Her gaze falls to his throat, his markings almost concealing the burn scar she’d given him. But not quite. That he’d chosen to keep it at all is- “Do we have an agreement, Ahsoka Tano?”

 A small eternity seems to pass between her indrawn breath and the resulting answer. “Yes.” Ahsoka looks at him again without fear. Straight into the eyes of the monster, the murderer, the tyrant she has and will be taking into her bed for the forseeable future. “Go ahead.” The first kiss is nothing short of a conquest, taken with broken vocalizations and sharp bites. She lets him pull her in, straddling his lap in the pilot’s seat while they break for air, and offering no resistance when he ties the blindfold securely in place. “Undress. Completely.” Softer now, his lips ghosting along her jawline. It takes a bit of effort, but before long she is bared to him, nipples pebbled from arousal, the air, and the cold presence of the Dark Side. The body beneath her, the bare hands that trace and mould her form are nearly white-hot by comparison. “Perfect...Turn around, and place your hands behind my neck.” Ahsoka obeys, shuddering in pleasure as he purrs. The cuffs he attaches to her wrists are made of some kind of leather, and she instinctively tests the give of the metal chain between them. Sturdy, but nothing she can’t break out of.

The position leaves her undeniably exposed and at his mercy. She expects none, yet he grants it anyway. With each stroke, squeeze, and tug of his fingers down her body, he steadily tunes her nerves to exquisite sensitivity. He never quite touches her core, preferring to caress and grip her inner thighs and the curve of her breasts even as she pants and shifts restlessly. She can feel him against her, hard and unyielding, the cloth barrier separating them gradually being saturated with her essence. And still he makes no effort to hurry things along. “I thought you wanted to -haaaaahhhh- punish me for making you wait this long.”  “You made a game of testing my patience. It is only fitting that I return the favour. I will keep you here, on the precipice between agony and bliss...Until, in your desperation, you beg me to ‘stop’.” Maul pinches her throbbing bud and she whines an incoherent stream of vowels. “Although...Hm. Your impulsive side is endearing.”

“What are you rambling on ab-AnnnnnH!” He bites down on her shoulder while slightly twisting the bundle of nerves held captive between his digits. She’s bleeding and the pain between her legs is pure torture, but she still wants-

‘I will grant your release early. If you ask to be fucked.” “You can’t be serious.” “Three simple words are all that stand in your way.”

“Why not just order me to say it?”

“Why should I, when you so clearly want to? Despite your self-denial.”  There’s no longer anything gentle about his touch, how his nails dig in and rake across her inner thighs while her shoulders and upper back gain a rapidly-growing collection of teeth-marks. His shaft is still there, still covered and rigid, rubbing against her hot and sodden core. Ahsoka is on the verge of sobbing. Or breaking her restraints to just seize what he’s dangling in front of her. But if all it takes is a couple of words...”Please, fuck me.” She whispers, rough from repressing her whimpers.

“Again.” His lips on her throat, feeling the command rumbling against her vocal cords.

She grits her teeth and snarls. “Fuck. Me. Please. You smug, overbearing bastard.” Maul’s fingers curve over and tug her recently-abused pearl, and she is lost, sent tumbling and screaming into the abyss.

Her body is still quivering in the aftermath when he presses in. A slow invasion, one that encounters no resistance until he is fully secured within her walls. At first, she thinks he just wants her to ride him. Yet before she can start... “I will give you a choice.” Maul’s voice is low enough to feel in her bones. “If you can keep relatively still for fifteen minutes, you will be taken against the control panel. And if you are very good, Ahsoka-” Her name on his lips is electric and scandalous, her body arching as if pulled by unseen strings. “-I will get down on my knees and devour you first.” She should never have given him permission to use it in the first place. His other...’endearments’ are easy to brush off. Somehow, hearing those three syllables in this moment is more intimate than having him inside her, feeling the incremental shifts between their bodies with each breath. 

Ahsoka raises herself up, almost to the point of letting his shaft slip out, then drops back down. She can feel him hiss, how his hips jolt up on instinct once before he stops himself. “Mmmm. Think your other option is bad enough to stop me from putting this to better use?” She’s teasing now, circling and rolling her hips in a way that takes him deep, but not all the way in again. Having Maul relatively immobile is a new experience. Even when he’s not being rough, he’s hardly still. It probably won’t last, but so long as his patience holds out...Using him like a sex toy is doing a lot to rev her up right now. He seizes her head-tail and pulls, bending Ahsoka’s neck back at an uncomfortable angle, free hand grasping one of her thighs to force a stop to her movements. “Keep this up and I assure you, ja’ti mirtis{my death}, you will not enjoy sitting when I am done with you.” Maul rasps, his mouth so close to her left montral that she can feel his lips brushing against it with every word. Her core trembles, breath coming in short, sharp pants. “I wonder which would bring you more pleasure? Being bent over the edge of your cot to be mounted and used...Or disciplined until that option becomes a mercy?”  Something like insanity seizes her. It’s the only explanation for what she says next. “Both.” Ahsoka breathes. “I want-Take these off, please.” The light is harsh for the few seconds it takes her eyes to adjust, wrists slightly chafed from the cuffs as she carefully turns to face him. “I need both.” Her hands gently circle his face. “Can you do that? Get me ready with your mouth, and take me nice and slow right here?” He seems transfixed, almost unable to believe the words falling from her lips. “Think of how wet I’ll be, when you’ve finished your ‘discipline’ and I’m just aching to be ruined.” Ahsoka can taste the hunger when he captures her mouth, how similar it is to her own. Her nails claw at his shoulderblades, seeking purchase, to bury herself in him, anything. “Yes, Ahsoka.” Maul whispers, between their lips meeting in repeated, feverish collisions. “You have only to ask.” (A/N: Some of you may have noticed a slight change in the numbers up top. So yes, there will be one more chapter to this particular story. 8D Cheers, everyone!)

[rpbetter]

Hi Vespertine. Sorry to add to the pile, I promise I will send in some writing related things to compensate later. I also misgendered that user in a comment by accident with she/her. I blocked them, but they still looked at my blog, and they made a post that said by using the wrong pronouns, which they thought was intentional and meant to hurt them, I purposefully called them a hysterical woman stereotype. Obviously that wasn't true. I was just going off a comment someone else made on my blog where they used she/her, and I thought I had to correct myself. It was a case where good intentions, even if I was not happy with the user's behavior or expected to talk to them again, I was still going to use the right pronouns, but my intentions were warped by someone with an agenda. I'm sorry to hear you're getting the same heat. I didn't use my rp blog to interact with the user or talk about them because I was sure something like this would happen, either by them or other people like that callout blog, and I think other people had the same idea. I dodged a bullet there, but I'm still paranoid. I'm paranoid I'll hear a notif and see my rp blog in a callout for this, because someone hunted it down, or a callout for trying to talk to the person who started all the drama. Nobody should be scared to talk about someone on their own blog. Nobody should be scared to talk openly, in general. Nobody should be called out for trying to talk with someone either. This culture of fear is so disturbing to me.

Hey there, Anon!

Oh, I would love that, but you totally don't have to, of course. Don't feel bad for adding on, I'm here for anything at all, and honestly, with the job I'm doing IRL right now, it's really hard for me to concentrate well enough on finishing any of the advice posts (at least, to be the quality y'all deserve). It's a hot topic, it's included so, so, terribly many people in the RPC. It's also one that's generating some great, needed conversations. So, it isn't like you're adding to anything bad, annoying or distracting me, or contributing to the inflammatory side of this.

Hell, it's got to be really nice for some of the people in messages I've received to see proof that they weren't alone in this experience. I can keep publishing the hate anons for exactly that reason, and I can promise people they aren't the only ones (in this or in any such horrible behavior), but it's different to see it coming from a third party! So, thank you for that.

Though, I am deeply sorry that you were treated to more than a ringside seat in this debacle.

It's not very encouraging to be thoughtful and respectful of other people when literally nothing you can say or do will result in anything other than more twisting of your words, and that's a big problem I have with this shit. Things like actual transphobia, intentional misgendering, actual infantalization and shit treatment of ND people, actual harassment, etc. etc. etc. matter. It's just more trivializing of real problems for the sake of blowing nonexistent bullshit up, and that is immensely disgusting to me. The fact that you damn well know someone out there has had the reaction to this behavior of, well, fuck you then, fuck trans people is really upsetting.

Like, yeah, let's be real, if you require social rewards to do the right thing, you have some problems lol but at the same time, you know who does require social rewards to develop themselves? Young people. And the RPC is largely comprised of people in their early twenties who, for a variety of possible reasons, are still at that point

Furthermore, no, it's not anyone's job to be good representation at all times, especially when that performance comes at a cost to themselves, but maybe don't go out of your way to be the person that is the necessary push in the wrong direction of someone's formative experience with people of your community. If it's costing you nothing to not clown on serious issues, but is costing the entire world another bigot for you to clown on serious issues, the choice should be a bit obvious here. Whenever you're in a safe place - physically, emotionally - and capable of that kind of logic, exercise it, damn.

It's definitely a better course of action than playing out skewed activism by vilifying innocent people, more worthy of one's effort than losing their collective shit over a very easy mistake. One that I'd say was even less avoidable in your case. AGAIN, how, exactly is anyone supposed to know this shit when they're blocked? When they aren't subverting the blocks they, themselves, put in place? I know for a fact none of them are looking at the information of the people they choose to try to drive out of the RPC, but everyone else is supposed to make zero reasonable assumptions, check and recheck blogs they have made an effort not to visit for good reason. Sounds absolutely reasonable and sane!

So, you know what? I'm going to be even more offensive here and talk for a moment about why these mistakes are reasonable.

When we see a post and reblog it, it's not unreasonable to assume that the OP had knowledge we didn't. Since we blocked the offending party, but they're discussing them. OP uses the incorrect pronouns, we end using the incorrect pronouns as well. This is not malicious intent. It isn't intentional at all, it's just having a discussion. A discussion that wouldn't have even transpired if they hadn't taken it upon themselves to (what a coincidence) take personal issue with a RPer they repeatedly took out of context and decided to shame for it, before proceeding to get an even bigger stick and pot.

When we decide to block a blog, it's our responsibility to stay off of it. Not go looking at it for any reason. That is now off-limits. When someone blocks us, it's also our responsibility to respect that decision, no matter how outrageous it was, no matter what we might need to verify. That's the issue with blocking when we don't exploit how easy it is to get around blocking on tumblr; we've cut ourselves off from any further meaningful communication, including passive communication like rules and posts. Kind of like how you cannot expect an apology to mean a damn thing when you've blocked everyone you harassed, then made that apology in a post on your blocked blog. Don't put up walls you expect people to see through, then get upset when they can't see through them.

As a community, the RPC is primarily afab. That's never a problem to bring up when someone wants to be angry about their female muse not getting equal attention and so on, but it's a problem to discuss any other time, about any other problem. Dealing with the things that we're socially raised to ascribe to as afab people is that problem. It's reflected in our behaviors, interests, and speech. We may not want to live in a gendered world, we may eschew that, but we were raised in a gendered world and it shows. One which has a lot of complications for being that, like almost everyone feeling safer around afab people by default of the All Men Are Bad, All Women Are Harmless bullshit.

We not only know that the RPC is primarily afab, we tend to assume comfort, especially in hostile situations, by assuming those pronouns in others.

And it so does not matter how much any of us like it, some people have more masculine or feminine tones. Even in text. That means neither that someone's gender identity should be disregarded nor that this text-based presentation is correct, but like every other unfair thing that exists, it's a thing. Like you, Anon, you genuinely come across in tone as primarily neutral, slight lean toward masculine. Even if I wasn't inclined to do so, not knowing you and all, I'd use they/them for you instinctively because that's what your speech is giving me. That isn't any more unreasonable than ascribing another set of pronouns based on the same information.

Oh yeah, I know, lurkers, the difference is that they/them is the appropriate choice when one does not know. I know that logically, but people aren't always operating like robots, weirdly enough. We default to a lot of instinctive behaviors, and we aren't always operating at the top rung of cognition either. Being human works like that, it's really that simple and not malicious if you're not reading that into it.

As we're all aware, it is being read into, and your experience is exactly why; you now feel worried every time you get a notif, you've been outed as a supposed transphobe, and while it is incredibly fortunate you stopped this from transpiring on your RP blog, it still transpired somewhere and has had a negative effect. If they find they correct thing or set of things, they can get so many more people to dogpile you over it. Get enough people to do that, make someone miserable enough, especially people who are already going through a hard enough time already, they'll leave.

It is a terroristic act, and it has the effect of all terroristic acts; people are afraid to exist outside of shifting bounds (that shifting is a part of the terrorism). They can't have an opinion, write any muse/topic they wish, be honest on their own blogs, support the "wrong" topics, muns, or blogs. Attacking people for a mistake, not allowing them to address it either, just furthers all of that. It's showing the community what happens when you aren't on the "right" side, even if that isn't even the case. They certainly turn on their own quickly enough.

So, of course, it's a culture of fear and it is disturbing as hell. No one has any right to make someone feel unsafe over fiction or a hobby or a difference of opinion. Everyone has the right to say whatever they want on their own blogs, to talk openly, and yes, to try to talk to others without feeling at risk.

Even if what someone says is genuinely unpleasant. This isn't the way one handles it. By all means, have a problem with something, have a problem with someone, but grow up and talk to them openly, without bringing everyone you can dredge up to join in. I have no issue with people arguing, I have an issue with bullying. If it's your whole goal to harass people without consequences to the end result of deactivation and lockstep behavior from everyone else, that's what you're doing, folks. Bullying.

If you can't win an argument, especially one your own ass began, in any other way than this, you're not engaging in an argument.

[cynical-amphisbaenia]

hey! I was wondering if I could get a classpect assignment if that’s not too much trouble! I'm an IXFP (about 50/50 on S and N), a 9w1, and use they/them. I’m the type of person to mostly just go with the flow whenever something happens (I'm like oh ok cool guess this is happening), although I do get swept up into passion projects easily. I'll be absolutely obsessed with a hobby or concept for a few days to a week where I’ll learn everything I can about (and sometimes actually do it), and then the interest goes away. so I don’t really have any hobbies (but I do have a lot of unfinished projects! baking, pixel art, photography, etc.), and finding something I can actually stick to is a challenge for me. I do have interests in some tv and video games (especially Splatoon), but no one else I know irl likes them so I mostly just talk about them on the internet. people have told me I look menacing and kinda angry from the outside, I don’t seem to project a friendly exterior lol. I tend to be excitable around my friends and people I like, and a bit more blunt with those I don’t. it’s like I don’t want to fight anybody or be mean but I also want this conversation to be over, yeah? I’m trying to work on the whole bluntness thing though, I feel like I’m too critical of both others and myself. I’m also very sarcastic, which is probably part of the problem. I feel like I’m a mix of “background character”  and “comedy friend” if that makes sense? I don’t need or want attention from an entire room, I can do whatever just fine behind the scenes (I did stage crew for 2 years because I wanted to be involved but I didn’t wanna be perceived). I’m also very witty and I think sometimes all you can really do is laugh, and I’d rather laugh about a stupid situation than get mad at it. I don’t really like making long-term decisions, it just feels like I’m being locked into something that I might regret later, and I can’t change it if it ended up being the wrong choice. I’d much rather just go into something without making any commitments and whatever happens, happens (teachers are like “make a plan and revise!” and I’m like “no” and I’ll just write until it looks coherent and then turn it in without ever looking at it again). I’m also a massive procrastinator, but I do well under the pressure so it's fine. as for character arcs I feel like I take most things a lot less seriously than I used to, which I think is good because I was way too uptight and strict about everything relating to rules and authority. I’m still definitely harsh on myself and others sometimes, but I’m working on loosening up there too so I can just chill out. I’m going for an MST3K mantra (“it’s just a show, I should really just relax”) approach to life, but I’m definitely a while off. also oh my god this is a lot of words, sorry for just sorta dumping all of this here, hopefully it’s all coherent, thank you so much!!!

Hello, thanks for asking! Apologies that it's taken me a while to respond. Now, there's a few main options that seem possible for you. The aspects are Void, Breath or Life and the classes are Maid and Heir.

Both Void and Breath seem to come naturally to you - you feel like a background character, you don’t like making long term decisions and you’re a procrastinator. However, Life does seem more likely - Life can overlap with Breath, and these Life/Breath traits do appear more common in you. Also, you have been concerned with rules and authority, while now being concerned about how you will live your life. So unless anything that Void and Breath encompasses (which Life cannot also encompass) really stands out to you, it’s more likely. If it Breath or Void does stand out to you, you should consider which seems more important to you or appears to have a stronger influence on you.  

Now for classes, both Maids and Heirs can be very passionate and seemingly take on their aspects. This can also come in the form of serving or being led by their aspect. Although this doesn’t seem as strong for Void/Breath, this could relate to how your views of Life has changed - initially serving/being led by it to care more about authority, and now either creating it for yourself or leading it instead through relaxing and enjoying Life. If you’re stuck between the two and can’t decide if you create (Maid) or change (Heir) Life, perhaps trying to determine if it felt more like forced servitude or just being caught up in it might help. 

I hope this helps! Feel free to ask me any further questions. ^^