#Irken Zim | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

th3atr3phant0m · 4 years ago

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Math Cadets: Chapter Two - Flimsy Deal

“Come on , Keef! You know that Zim is an alien! It’s so obvious!” Dib’s tutoring session with Keef was coming to a close and they were, as per the usual, discussing methods of “payment” for this weeks’ particular session. Considering Keef worked on the school paper and had a bit of power when it came to what did and didn’t get into specific sections, Dib thought he was the perfect target to speak to about this. Since the majority of the students there did nearly anything he asked them to if he helped them enough, he had been positive that Keef would help him out here. He was the only person- aside from Gaz- that he had spoken to about what Zim was.

“Look, Dib, I hate doing this, but Zim is really nice!” Keef insisted, “Besides, we don’t have enough evidence to put this in the school paper in the first place- and it’s not just me you have to convince. It’s everyone on the paper who has to agree, plus Mrs. Valentine since she’s the one who proofreads all of our papers.”

“Okay , then I’ll just get them all on my side. I help almost every student in this school, I’m sure I can get everyone on the paper to agree with me,” Dib leaned back in his chair, frowning, “And the teachers love me. Mrs. Valentine can’t be too hard to convince.”

“You would think that, but she’s really against us writing anything too negative or expository about other students, here…”

“Okay, then we’ll work around that.”

“Dib, I just don’t think it’s possible!” Keef persisted, “Besides, Zim is nice to me! I don’t want to do anything that could upset him.”

Dib was practically seething. He and Keef weren’t exactly close in any capacity- they weren’t friends and the only times that they saw one another outside of school was when they met for Dib to tutor and cheat for Keef. Their relationship was purely professional and didn’t even kind of dip into the territory about them being friends for one another. Despite this, Dib had a very stable “I-scratch-your-back-you-scratch-mine” kind of deal with all of his clients; he helped them with their schoolwork or gave them answers to the homework or helped them cheat on tests and they did whatever he wanted from them in return. He had always relied on this system for what he needed within the school. It was the source of all of his power. His intellect and him helping people was the only thing that really kept him afloat in their school. If he weren’t doing this little business on the side, he wouldn’t be anywhere near as successful and respected as he currently was. Considering how heavily so many of the others he tutored relied upon him, he had never had any of them blatantly go against or ignore his requests. Despite their lack of closeness, he certainly didn’t expect Keef- the sweet, happy-go-lucky, easily manipulated Keef- to be the first one to break the cycle.

What irritated him more than that was the fact that Keef didn’t seem to believe him despite the evidence that was clearly given to them and completely on display. The fact that Keef seemed to trust Zim of all people more than he trusted Dib irritated him to no end. He had helped Keef get through school for so many years and now, all of a sudden, when one new student showed up and spoke to him for no more five minutes, Keef was willing and ready to just… stop believing and helping Dib?

Dib clenched his jaw bitterly, “If I find more evidence, will you put me in the paper?”

“Well…”

“ Keef ,” Dib sighed insistently, “I just need you to help me here. If I can find good, accurate, obvious evidence that Zim is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, an alien, will you include it in the paper.”

Dib help Keef’s gaze intensely, refusing to look away or even blink as he stared into the other’s soul, watching as he shifted nervously.

“...I’ll do what I can.”

Dib sighed and nodded, “Good.” With that, Dib scooped up his backpack to leave the classroom that they had been using to study after school hours, “I’ll see you next Thursday.”

Keef being resistant to Dib’s requests and him not only trusting but liking Zim certainly made things more complicated. Without the undivided help from Keef that he had been anticipating, he would need to put forth more effort- especially if he was going to convince the rest of the kids on the school paper as well as the teacher editor of it. The added obstacle was irritating only because he hadn’t expected it- especially not it stemming from Keef of all people.

Nonetheless, Dib knew that he could do this. He was nothing if not a resilient problem-solver, and he had plenty of other things on his side to assist him in proving what Zim really was. He just had to wait for the right moment and collect enough data.

~~~

Dib wasn’t convinced that finding evidence to help prove his point would be any difficult feat- Zim wasn’t exactly stealthy by any means. His disguise was horrible and easy to see through and his mannerisms were very telling of what he truly was. Not only that, but Zim was clearly not yet used to acting like a human and being part of their world. Dib was certain that it was only a matter of time before Zim slipped up and gave him the evidence he would need to support his “theory”.

Until then, though, he wasn’t just going to wait. Dib knew war strategy and he understood psychological warfare enough to know that waiting for Zim to make the first move and mess up was stupid- especially considering the fact that it was incredibly likely that Zim had more training in that area than Dib did and had far more advanced technology on his side.

No, Dib would have to find the evidence on his own, whether or not Zim slipped up. He didn’t need the alien to mess up to give him an opportunity. He had plenty of ways to crack through Zim’s shell and see what was going on. Even just finding Zim’s base would likely be enough for Dib- allowing him to figure out ways to infiltrate it and gather evidence.

He was confident that it wouldn’t take him long to expose Zim and that it would be far from the most difficult thing he would ever have to do.

For now, though, he just had to suffer through chemical engineering alongside the idiotic alien.

The assignment that they were working on at the moment was a research paper in which they were tasked to find inventive and creative solutions to whatever problem they were given regarding the more molecular biology sides of chemical engineering. For them at the moment, it meant proposing ideas for how to resolve the issues regarding there being a lack of organs and tissue combine with the issue of many people’s bodies refusing to accept new organs introduced to their bodies.

As expected, Zim had some unorthodox suggestions for how to avoid these two problems.

“Why not just kill people off for the organs and tissue?”

Dib couldn’t help but facepalm, “That’s unethical , Zim, and will definitely get us kicked out of school or reported to psychologists if we suggest that.”

“It’s a simple fix!” Zim defended, crossing his arms.

“It doesn’t even address the other problem we were assigned to answer- how to reduce the issue of people not being able to accept everyone’s organs.”

“Ah, another simple fix,” Zim proclaimed, raising up one finger as though to make his point, “Kill off their family members!”

Dib deadpanned, “You have got to be kidding me.”

“It solves both problems with very little effort! It provides the necessary organs and such for the people and, due to their aligning DNA, they will have no problem accepting the new organs.”

“You are an idiot ,” Dib groaned, “How are you still passing as a human when you suggest shit like that in public ?”

Zim’s eyes darted across the classroom nervously as Dib mentioned the fact that they were, indeed, in a public place of sorts. He raised his voice slightly as he spoke, “ Pass as human? I am human- a filth worm just like all of you.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“I could say the same to you, Dib-Stink.”

Dbi shook his head, ignoring the alien in favour of beginning to write an actual proposition down on their paper, outlining the benefits of 3D printing to provide the organs required and combining those new organs with the patient’s own DNA to ensure that it wasn’t rejected.

“Eh? What are you writing, worm?” Zim tilted his head to get a better look over Dib’s shoulder.

“Unlike you , I’m actually doing our work and writing a reasonable suggestion that a sane human being could actually think of and accept.”

Once more, Zim crossed his arms, closing his eyes as he spoke, “Zim sees no problem with his suggestion.”

“Killing people is illegal and would in no way be considered an ethical way to solve either of these problems. You may be alright with sabotaging yourself considering your shitty disguise, but I , on the other hand, am not going to let that happen to myself. I’m not going to get kicked out of school just because you want to turn in some wacky shit for our project.”

Zim rolled his eyes, the human expression of irritation looking strange on the alien, pupils not moving perfectly as though they weren’t used to making such movements just yet. “Very well, just hurry up and complete the work.”

Dib glared and pointed his pencil at the alien threateningly, though he knew that his weapon of choice was a rather weak one, even if he was to disregard the fact that he was up against a creature that was far more powerful than he was.

Infuriatingly, Zim just laughed.

Dib almost throttled him on the spot.

~~~

It was a wonder that Dib got through the rest of the day without killing Zim. Aside from him being a hindrance in their little project for their bioengineering class and the general irritation that Dib felt towards him anytime he did or said something obviously inhuman that was met with no response from anyone else, he had just been an absolute bitch all day. Dib supposed that that was just the nature of the alien- obnoxious and loud. He seemed to have one volume and that volume was far louder than any human had the right to be.

The absolute fury that Zim inspired in Dib, though, did little more than fuel him and he fully welcomed the stupid outbursts that Zim occasionally had since they all had the possibility of garnering someone else’s attention.

Dib knew that he couldn’t rely on that, though, and the strange things that Zim had openly said and done throughout the day to no avail confirmed that to Dib. What would help him in this situation, though- at least in Dib’s opinion- was keeping a journal regarding the alien. It would allow him to take physical notes rather than just mental notes that could easily be forgotten and would make it easier for him to organize his thoughts regarding the situation. Plus, on the off chance that Zim became violent to the point of killing Dib off (which, considering the fact that he was an alien attempting to enslave the human race, didn’t seem impossible), leaving behind a physical copy of his findings would allow others to pick up where he left off.

Besides, Dib liked the drama of it.

As soon as school was over, he headed to the nearby store to purchase the thickest college-ruled notebook that he could find and slip it into his backpack, hiding it among his other things. It may have been a simple, small thing, but it would allow him to create a “scrapbook” of evidence against Zim. It was small, but it was a decent “secret weapon” and Dib was certain that it would come in handy.

Upon returning to his home, he went upstairs, locking himself into his bedroom as per the usual to begin his work. Instead of focusing on his homework and studying as he typically did when he first got home, he cracked open his Zim notebook and began recording the things that he already knew about the alien, citing strange things the creature had said and done since arriving at Astra Academy.

While Dib hadn’t anticipated spending much time on it before getting back to his classwork, he only stopped working on the notebook when he heard Gaz bang on his bedroom door, telling him to come down for dinner.

Dib blinked in surprise glancing from his notebook where he was in the midst of writing one of his theories about the alien up to his clock which displayed the time. It was nearly six-thirty- not too late, but he had definitely gotten far too wrapped up in his Zim research and recording than he had meant to.

He shook his head, setting his journal down so he could head downstairs to eat before returning. He may have spent more time on it than he had anticipated, but, at the very least, he knew that his research and recording would eventually come in handy if he wanted to ever prove what Zim was. So what if it took a lot of effort- that was life and Dib was far from unfamiliar with putting forth ridiculous amounts of work to get even simpler things in life done. Going to school where he had and having Professor Membrane as a dad taught him that from a young age. Dib wasn’t scared of needing to put forth his all to take down the alien and, if it meant saving the world and gaining the respect from those around him as well, he would do anything to take Zim down.

For this chapter, I just made a shitty mood board for the “cover”. Suffer.

I originally posted this fic HERE and you can read the rest of the chapters on the same page, if you are interested. :)

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