#Inside the Mind of John Wayne Gacy

[llpodcast]

This book is released hot on the heels of the world’s increasing fascination of the serial killer and currently there is a lot more interest in Bundy, Dahmer and Gacy himself which makes this book a very timely release.

 Hunter delves into the world of John Wayne Gacy but he gives an extra flourish to his disturbing crimes but highlighting the victims and telling their stories.  This is quite the achievement because he has done something that very seldom books about killers fail to do and that is to humanise the victims. This gives the book inner depth and as he looks into the mind of John Wayne Gacy, which is a dark grandiose place to be.  

 Gacy is one of those personalities that thinks he is one of these great people who lives in a small world and as his compass of truth seems to fluctuate at will, Hunter does his best to try to make sense of the man and his crimes.  He does explore his upbringing and looks at classic tropes of family situations and physical and mental abuse from alcoholic father etc. which gives a little insight.

 Overall, this is a riveting read and well written.  If you have a interest in the subject manner and looking for a book that gives a bit more extra and a lot of serious contemplation into the serial killers mind and victims, giving this a must read and highly recommended selection.

[anonymousdanganronpaconfessions]

A lot of the fandom takes Komaru at face value about being "normal" and it's really disappointing because like, the entire point there is that she's a thousand miles outside of normal. That is extremely important, because her not being remotely normal is a major reason she's the prospective Successor.

Firstly, Genocide Jack is a psychosexual serial killer. This is a real life classification of serial killer that she easily and obviously fits criteria of. Her reason for murdering men is because the two of them are attracted to those men and take out their anger about their inability to be with those men on those men via murdering them. This is most commonly a type of serial killer man that targets women, although there have been the occasional woman and gay man of this type. The most famous gay man examples are Jeffery Dahmer and John Wayne Gacy. Komaru brushes this off extremely easily and fairly quickly becomes friends with her.

The canon does not allow you to chock this up to anime logic, because we have already seen how a normal person reacts to this. Her own brother, Makoto. He never gets over this. None of the other survivors get over this. Komaru's ability to be friends and possibly more with her is explicitly abnormal. There are one set of FTEs that are explicitly declared non-canon. At the end of Toko's FTEs in DR1, she declares Makoto her first friend and begins writing a new book. In UDG, she has not been writing and declares Komaru her first friend. Thus, Toko's FTEs are explicitly non-canon. Makoto did not do them.

Then of course there's the most obvious example that everyone knows. How she reacts to the Haiji reveal. People tend to overlook that Toko also is like "what the fuck" about both the reveal and Komaru's reaction. Toko acknowledges that that is not remotely normal, and shows what a normal reaction to it is. Komaru finds his openness about it attractive, and this is explicitly treated as abnormal.

Then there's the motivation bad ending. Once again, the game provides us with a contrasting example that proves that the game is aware her reaction is not normal. Orgasming in such a situation is actually extremely common. It's a physiological reaction to stimuli, not an emotional reaction. Orgasming from such an experience does not change your outlook on it like Komaru has, millions of survivors can tell you that.

Kotoko is right there to show us what a normal reaction to such experiences looks like. Komaru's reaction in the bad ending is extremely, unarguably abnormal and the mere existence of Kotoko shows that the writing is aware of this. For Komaru to have to actively choose to resist, and for choosing not to resist to create that result, she has to actively be suppressing what we see in the bad ending there. The orgasming just leads to her no longer wearing the mask, it doesn't change her mind. Even in the canon outcome, she brushes it off easily and quickly, and again, the plot shows us that that's abnormal since Kotoko is right there.

These three situations create an obvious and strong Rule of Three. Three times throughout the plot, we are seeing Komaru have extremely atypical, abnormal reactions to a specific pattern of crimes. Three sexually-motivated crimes, Komaru finds the first easy to brush off after a quick bit of processing, the second attractive, and right under the mask of normality, she is into being the victim of the third.

But there's one further aspect: The Bomb Inside Her. Komaru's favorite manga is about a girl with a bomb inside her that will explode if she ever falls in love. She will be destroyed, her life will be over, if she ever gives into her true feelings. That's the plot of Komaru's favorite work of media. When you consider that in combination with everything else, it reflects a lot on what her internal self is.

Thus why Komaru is the one chosen to be the Successor. If Komaru's presented self-concept were true, she would be a terrible choice for the Successor. However, her true self is not the one she claims to be. Komaru is wearing a mask of normality, but underneath, she's pretty fucked up herself. Despair!Komaru would be a shameless depraved pervert with absolutely no limits. And with "an ending with neither hope nor despair", she neither rejects nor fully embraces this. Her, Toko, and Jack stay together. She's fully embraced not giving a crap about the psychosexual serial killer's crimes due to her personal feelings. She's able to easily forgive Kotoko because it wasn't really that much of an issue for her, her resistance was a choice she made to stay loyal to Toko and Jack and their goals, not proper horror and disgust at the situation like Kotoko experienced.

I feel like Komaru has become rather appreciated in the fandom (she used to not be nearly as much), but kinda like Fandom!Mukuro, it's very disconnected from what canon actually presents. Part of that is just that the age of most fans doesn't really fit the actual target demographic, and there's a lot more depth and subtext and things left up to the player to figure out than people give it credit for. People take a "the curtains are just blue" approach to everything, when the curtains are blue for important reasons.

.

[yridenergyridenergy]

Hii, i’m big fan of your page. Everyday I scroll you page lol.

And i wanna ask ur opinion, is true that Dir now is more popular than before especially for english speaker fan? I see many english comment in Dir page (IG, youtube, twitter) than before

And peoples really noisy about AI and write rude comment in The devil in me (youtube). Maybe people write that comment because hate the MV. In my opinion, they are like new comer in Dir music world lol.

I think Dir also did video editing in previous video (i’m not sure it’s AI or anything else), like in Glass skin, Rinkaku, agitated.

And about the delay of The Devil MV, i think they are lazy to upload because so much negative comment before watching (lol kidding)

But in my opinion, AI not that cheap and still use money, effort, dresser, makeup artist, time and team for making that MV. So I disagree to people who said this is really cheap, artist thief that no use dresser, make up artist or more worker.

But actually yess, i agree art never can be replace by AI. But hey, this is just MV not art exhibition or art competition.

I feel like why people in this era too focus on something else than main masterpiece.

#sorryformyenglish have a great day!

Sorry for the slightly late reply; I had prepared my reply a few days ago but I'm glad I waited since the promotional edit of the PV was released since. Thank you for your visits!

I'm really not sure whether Dir en grey has increased their fanbase... And shows that play on nostalgia are not an accurate reference, so even if the shows this year were to be sold out, it doesn't mean anything because that could totally drop next time they tour with new material, unfortunately. I think that the European tour definitely awakened temporary fans who could disappear again once the buzz has died down.

Dir en grey's director has definitely used CGI in the past, but you still needed artists to achieve anything. I don't know exactly how the AI that the director used for The Devil In Me works, but the common conception is that you just input requests and the robot does everything for you. It's certainly a lazier way. And no clue how much using that technology costs, but it's not equal to several artists' and actors' salaries, probably.

Sadly, the behind-the-scenes on the Devil In Me video disc did not offer anything in the way of a hint at what the AI is and how they used it...

I'm still of the opinion that maybe it can take Dir en greys videos farther than they've been able to so far, and maybe materialize the director's vision more accurately. But yeah, if everything moving forward is AI-generated, that would leave a sour taste. Already, the Otogi backdrop video didn't seem like something that only an AI could come up with: artists would have done at least the same job, if not better, to be honest.

With The Devil In Me PV, I'll have to actually watch the Netflix documentary on John Wayne Gacy, but I'm having difficulty reconciliating how the lyrics tie in with either the killer's life or the person in the video who is chatting with an AI to try and see inside the killer's mind. That's not what the lyrics evoke to me at all...

[metalheadsforblacklivesmatter]

No one hate me for asking, because I'm genuinely curious what some of you think we should do with people who are mass murderers, rapists, pedophiles, and serial killers. And I'm not pro prison, but where would we put someone like John Wayne Gacy and would it even be possible to rehabilitate them at that point. I've also seen people safer because their abusive partner went to jail or prison, so what should we do to these people to make sure they don't harm others.

Thank you for submitting this question! I wanted to respond via post but it wouldn't let me tag you.

It's a valid question and though a very very VERY small percent are violent offenses, it is important to ask "How can we help these people?"

So first of all. A number of the violent offenses are mental health related, and therefore rehabilitation would focus on treating the inmate for their mental health issues.

This study also states that a lot of the violent offenders WANT to be rehabilitated and KNOW something is wrong.

Furthermore here are the stats of people that are incarcerated that are mentally ill. (For comparison 21% of the general populace is mentally ill).

For incarcerated people, those rates are much higher; the American Psychological Association reports that “64 percent of jail inmates, 54 percent of state prisoners, and 45 percent of federal prisoners” have reported mental health concerns.

Why is mental illness a problem? Well a lot of mental illness can cause violent behaviors, but a lot of mental illness can result in behaviors that may seem violent, but aren't inherently so (speaking in a loud voice, big gestures, non-compliance with the police, and distrust of authority).

And on top of that 85% of inmates either have an addiction or were arrested for drug and alcohol related crimes. Why is this important? Drugs and alcohol can cause anger issues, bad trips, paranoia, etc. Which can resort to violent crimes. ESPECIALLY alcoholism which often goes unnoticed and untreated.

This includes situations for violent serial killers because psychopathic violence is often caused by a lack of empathy, and you'd be suprised that there's actually people walking around today with a lack of empathy. This doesn't excuse the crimes, mind you. But it feeds into the fact that this is mental illness and treating said mental illness can decrease rates of reffending.

Okay, but what about rapists?

Recent research published by the American Public Health Association suggests that focusing on punishments rather than positive goals can actually increase the chance of recidivism. In 2006, the Department of Justice endorsed more progressive methods such as the Good Lives Model, which aims to teach people how to fulfill their emotional and physical needs without hurting others. That includes challenging sexist behaviors and skewed social views that lead them to hurt other people.

It's not so much "rehabilitation helps reduce chances of reoffending" so much as "punishment increases risk of reoffending".

It's important to know that rape is about a power play, and as such I believe there's ways to deal with that perceived loss of power without increasing chances of reoffending. I AM NOT DEFENDING THEIR ACTIONS. I am simply saying as a person that's experienced sexual harassment, I would prefer the option that's more likely to reduce the chances of reoffending over the option that's probably going to increase it.

And lastly child predators. I'd like to state I'm not apologizing for child predators. I'm not saying they're okay. I'm not advocating for them. I do not feel safe around them and I don't blame anyone that does. However. I'm looking at this as a "You look at the numbers. What does science say is the best way to protect children from them?" This is a very emotional topic and has to be viewed as straight facts and numbers to get the best results.

First, listening to people with minor attraction. I do not support these people. However, listening to them, many of them understand their desires are wrong and want to be rehabilitated. And why do we not provide that? I'm not throwing them pity. I'm just saying "If it'll protect children by treating them, why do we not provide treatment options." If people with this issue know it's an issue and want to fix it. Why can't they seek medical help? All I'm saying. From the "this makes sense to protect children" perspective.

Second. The pure statistics. If the child predator believes in it and actually wants to get better, it is proven that therapy and treatment can decrease the chances of them offending again. (If they don't want to get help, that's likely an empathy problem which I've already discussed).

And if these people are deeply struggling and want to seek help, is it not their right as a human fucking being to seek help? Like if they really want to get better and they are deeply disturbed by their thoughts, is in not their right as a human to seek treatment?

And Norway specifically has rehabilitation based prisons and the stats are ridiculously positive. They show real results from rehabilitation-based systems.

For the record. I'm not saying ANY of these people deserve sympathy. I'm saying it's our duty as a humane and just society to treat them like human beings, and not animals. And it's our duty to potential victims to choose the path that reduces chances of reoffending.

-fae

[cator99]

There was a party of 20 people at my work tonight that was mostly russians all very slaylicious people and I don't know how to describe it but they had a very specific very cohesive vibe and I have never seen more Russian group of people in my entire life no that's not true I had a Russian friend growing up and her mother was a very wealthy veryyy stylish Russian criminal defense lawyer with very russian friends and one time she sat me down very seriously by the way this was a very serious and intense moment where she put her laptop in front of me and made me watch a pro-Putin propaganda video on YouTube which included a clip of him photoshopped riding a tiger to the song Eye of the Tiger and she got incredibly angry when I laughed... anyways they were complaining about the drinks not having enough vodka and making us remake them even requesting repour the drinks into a bigger glass so that we could add more vodka one guy was really skinny with high cheekbones and a very sunken face small jaw thin neck you know the type slicked back hair and an oversized leather jacket and tiny black oval sunglasses that he wore the entire time he was inside he kept going in and out for cigarette breaks while I was taking out the trash and we would get in each other's way and laugh because it just kept happening and he was like oh my it's like I came here just to get in your way and for no other reason lol ohhhhh god also there was a lesbian couple and one of them had short dark hair and a labret piercing oh my God she was so beautiful Jesus Christ I'm going to kill myself she was so like intense just intense scary intense but so gentle most people in the group were dressed up but she was just wearing a black T-shirt and jeans. I didn't think she was with any of the women there until I was cleaning up and I saw her with her arm around a tiny blonde woman who I had interacted with briefly earlier she was very sweet and had these giant glimmering eyes she had accidentally gotten in my way too and was apologizing profusely staring at me with those giant eyes and a sheepish little smile oh my god. Very cute but also very alarmingly intense. Honestly they all were very intense in a way but in a really fun way you know..... very down to earth people, all of them. There was one of them who looked and had the cadence and honestly had a presence which immediately brought to mind a sort of Russian John Wayne Gacy you know like if you've ever seen his interviews it was like that anyways he was paying for everything. There was also a black man with them who was dressed so impeccably I mean they all were but this guy even moreso... he had this whole color coordinated suit with a matching velvet fedora that was tilted and large sunglasses that stayed on all night as well. Pretty sure I heard him speaking Russian with a much older man who reminded me of my doctor who is Moldovan... A lot of them were clearly family- the older man really closely resembled a few of the younger men, however they seemed a bit less intense and less involved- you know what I mean there were obvious social things happening here that they were not a part of. I'm trying to remember who else stood out from that group but yeah there was 20 of them and I was mostly just dealing with Russian Gacy and the lesbian who ended up ordering a lot of drinks directly from me. Anyways they had the main hall due to the fact that there was so many of them and most rooms can comfortably fit anywhere from 5-12 people at most- however the hall isn't private, as it attaches to the main area where the bar is. The two rooms are only separated by a curtain. This is important because unlike everyone else in the karaoke bar I can hear every song the people in the hall sing. And for the record they started off with Barbie Girl by Aqua

[the-acid-pear-ocs]

I'm reading Copper's story again so i'll give a silly rundown of it:

Copper is in the forest, he's looking for a victim of a previous ai dungeon character of mine. We dont speak of that previous guy. Much silliness ensued here but none of it is canon.

Copper follows the screams but runs into a girl who is not screaming instead just playing w a toy truck. He's very fixated on that truck. She tells him her brother died because she didnt pray enough. Copper asks meaningless questions and then leaves.

Copper walks into a man with a bandage on his head who's holding a shotgun and crying. Without second thought he simply sits next to the man, ignoring how fucking dangerous this is.

The man tells him his family, wife and son, were killed by John Wayne Gacy, whom he also calls the White Devil. Copper has no fucking clue who that is but ends up telling this man to stfu bc he's getting sick.

(A/n: By now i need to remind yall copper is a detective.)

Copper asks the man about the bandages, the man explains what a bandage is. Copper calls him an idiot and asks why he has them on, the man ignores that and instead talks about what The White Devil does (takes the form of a clown and throws bodies in bags into a mass grave). Copper asks where he can find this killer, the man tells him to go to hell. Copper gets up and leaves, he looks at the sky and starts thinking of the weather.

(A/n: now you could fairly argue the victim is in shock, and maybe even brain damaged, so the strange responses are to be expected. This is not justified as for Copper, though.)

Copper has a bit of a Harry DuBois moment, directly talking to the voices in his head. Of course, said voices were me. A very fucking tired man having to deal with this very uncooperative detective.

Copper says he doesn't want to deal with this serial killer and instead goes home. Here he casually mentions there's a zombie outbreak. Zombies are living in the sewers of Denton. However despite refusing to face a serial killer he's confident about his abilities against zombies.

Copper goes home but realizes he has none of the things needed for outside survival like a tent, a knife, food and water, money for gas or spare clothes.

These things are, however, entirely useless, since it is confirmed Copper very much has a house when he realizes he hasn't eaten in days and picks some chips from his fridge. Except he throws up. Then swallows them down?

Copper is about to remember he's a grown man with a job when suddenly he hears someone shouting upstairs and firing a gun, so he goes investigate.

(A/n: I really believe Copper might be homeless. It is very likely he isn't even a real cop. I really think he just broke into some apartment and ate some spoiled chips)

Copper walks into a new place and starts looking for a girl named Alice. He forgets about the gunshots for a second, before thinking of the possibility of Alice having been shot.

Copper finds Alice hiding under a tree on a beer bottle filled backyard. She's been shot but she's alive, according to Copper. However, there seems something bad happened to both of them the previous day, and he wants to move on, so he just goes home, worried about being arrested.

(A/n: Copper realized he broke into a house and that's illegal?)

On the news, a story about a man named Jameson who killed his wife is playing on the news. The details are contradicting, and its an overal sickening situation. Copper turns the TV off.

Needing to clear up his mind, Copper goes out to buy some ice cream. He realizes new shops are opening around the neighborhood and feels happy about having a normal life :)

There's a loud sound and Copper runs directly into it, finding two men in black suits armed. One of them only misses shooting Copper on the head by centimeters.

Copper ducks and tries to run away, stumbling, until he finds a trash can where he hides inside.

Some people find him. At first, they are nice to him. Believing him and saying he should go home or get help, but after Copper says he can't because the man is still out there they start laughing and insulting him, culminating in them calling the shotgun man.

The man grabs Copper and shoots up and at him, but none of the shots hit. He also seems upset, asking Copper "what did i ever do to you?", which Copper asks the same.

Once again, Copper manages to escape and finds a dumpster to hide in, where he stays inside until midnight.

Eventually, Copper decides to leave and heads in to a police station, figuring out that if the man attacking him isnt there by now he must be gone. His panic is however evident and multiple people try to ask him if he's alright.

Copper sits down to calm himself down. A woman approaches and asks him who he is, and once he says his name she says he doesn't believe him. She then questions what he's doing here, to which Copper mentions that a man tried to kill him. The woman just gets confused and continues to stare at him blankly.

Copper gets really weirded out by this, especially because it was coming from someone who wasn't human. Because until now, Copper forgot to mention everyone in the room was in fact not human, but animalistic in some way.

It's then when he realizes: this is a furry convention. And, i quote him, "it really does seem like something out of a horror movie"

Copper tries to leave but he just walks in a room with even more furries and just, awkwardly hangs around, his anxiety raising by the moment.

As he was about to have a panic attack thinking of what the furries would do to him, a hand grabbed him and dragged him away from the furry part of the convention, instead leading him for a while to a different place. The man speaks but Copper can't understand what he's saying so he blindly trusts him.

After a while, the man points Copper to another group of people and tells him to follow them. Copper instead follows a single man, who leads him to an alleyway. The man looks fucking exhausted.

Copper wanted to tell the man to rest, but instead said HE wanted to rest, so the man took him to his house.

The man asks Copper why he's there, Copper is confused, and simply says that a furry told him to follow him. The man doesn't believe him but Copper insists it's true. After 5 minutes of writing, the man gives up.

Copper asks what the man wrote, to which he answers is the future. He says he doesn't know what the future holds, but it's going to be different from what they are used to.

The man leaves and the space time continuum collapses.

(A/n: This i later learnt was because of a glitch that was affecting all the users, but when it happened i thought it was just because Copper lost it, probably because him being nice broke the world.)

Copper waits for the man. He goes outside. Everything is normal. There's nothing inside. Copper goes back inside. He locks the door. Copper grabs the man. The man grabs him. He pulls the trigger. The man is dead. Copper waits for the man to come back. Copper sees the room to his room open, and walks outside. A man stands with a gun. Copper runs towards him, the gun is pointed towards him. They start to wrestle.

Copper grabs his phone and calls 911. The police take him to the hospital, where he finds out he's been shot.

(A/n: Copper originally and for a while died here, i was going to end his story, but eventually i changed it. This is why the loop broke.)

Copper goes home, but the next day he wakes up in the hospital. He's been shot, again? He tells the nurse he wants to go home.

Copper goes home, but the next day he wakes up in the hospital again.

Copper breaks down. He cries and screams for an hour until he feels everything is ok. The sings, cries from joy, sits down. He tries to focus on his thoughts but he's interrupted. A cop knocks on his door and is pointing his gun at him.

To be continued...

[spooked-tv-network]

The Attached (Trailer) from SPOOKEDtv on Vimeo.

From the acclaimed paranormal filmmaking team The Booth Brothers comes a new paranormal documentary The Attached. A visually stunning 89 min award winning film showcasing seven true and shocking stories of haunted attachments all captured while investigating the most evil Infamous cases and locations in history. Watch in awe as they uncover some of the best paranormal evidence caught to date. Witness the haunting truth behind actual exorcism box used in the Anneliese Michel case (the real Emily Rose), John Wayne Gacy’s armoire, Haunted Asylums, Possessed Dolls and more. Nominated for over 16 Awards & Winner of Excellence in Filmmaking Award from the acclaimed Spotlight Film Awards.Â

Based on the actual case files: Hear and see actual footage of the infamous exorcism of the real Emily Rose, Anneliese Michel, possessed by 6 entities, one of them Adolf Hitler. What lies within the exorcism box is terrifying. Uncover the sad and shocking story of dolls with deceased children's hair sewn on to them and the spirits that still reside inside them. Explore the contents and attachments left behind in an antique armoire once belonging to serial killer John Wayne Gacy creating a Shadow Clown that now haunts the residence. Visit an old asylum revealing the macabre story of Rebeca, an inmate imprisoned there and the paranormal evil presence that haunts the isolation cells. Plus much more...

Shot on location utilizing the actual cursed objects and their attachment history. A riveting and mind blowing journey into fear.

The Attached, Be Careful What You Bring Home! Now streaming on Amazon Prime Video, Tubi and more.

[tsublue]

ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS ~2~

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Picture credits: Pinterest

Can’t believe that it’s already fall.

Also happy late Virgo season!!

!! DO NOT RE-WORD, STEAL, REPOST AND ETC MY WORK. IF YOU WANT TO USE MY WORK THEN PLEASE ASK FOR PERMISSION FIRST AND ALWAYS GIVE CREDITS. !!

Further ado, I hope that you will enjoy my post and let me know if my observations apply to you. I absolutely love reading the comments and your thoughts on this so feel free to let your thoughts and mind free.

REMINDER everything that I may say in this post are just my opinions and stuff that i’ve noticed. I do not claim these to be 100% true and strong facts. If these do not apply do you then you can go and enjoy another post! :)

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|~•~|Every degree up to the 12th can be taken as the house and happen to have the traits of that house.

Example: Saturn 5° - Leo traits or an outlook.

|~•~|ུ۪۪Moon Conjunct Saturn have very heavy and strong demons inside of them that they need to face. Sending a virtual hug to my fellow sufferers. <3

|~•~|People with 10th house lord in the 10th house had shown what they will be passionate about and their career & what they are like at their workplace in their childhood, but it was hard to recognize it.

|~•~|The 4th house represents your mother, her traits, vibe and relationship with her & the 9th house represents your father, his traits, vibe and relationship with him.

|~•~|Moon dominant people with moon in the air signs (especially Gemini) happen to be teachers or teaching and usually enjoy it very much, but at the same time other placements in the chart matter too.

|~•~|If you need guidance in what your career should be. Look at your earth houses - 2nd, 6th & 10th - as well as your Mercury and Saturn placements.

|~•~|Mercury Sextile Midheaven individuals may enjoy popularity in their career life, with many helpful and influential people. Their public life is greatly influenced by their intellectual talents, where you might be well celebrated.

|~•~|Sun Conjunct Mercury isn’t always a fame indicator. It can be a huge boost and help if you plan to or gain fame, but this placement alone, especially if they’re not developing it by getting speech lessons and as such will not indicate fame.

|~•~|Chiron in Aquarius individuals are math and math is them. There is no explanation to it.

|~•~|Pluto transiting the 11th house is a rollercoaster. You have a high chance of isolation yourself, intentionally or not and of the friendships and relationships are not strong then they will go away or thicken for the worse if it isn’t taken into action. If it has not come clear who are there to stay and who not and how you should feel about someone then it is the time for more clearer signs. Seeing this is a sign for you to do the spring (or winter/summer/autumn) cleaning and take it further and improve yourself and other things around you. Take on the challenge.

|~•~|Introverted people who have Pisces and Gemini in the big three scream “John Wayne Gacy, Jr” by Sufjan stevens to me.

|~•~|Pisces and Neptune dominant people liked watching things to do with water on youtube when they were a child. Such as dolls swimming or just watching someone swim and so on. (Dw, I was there too.)

|~•~|People who have prominent Aquarius in their chart seem to enjoy and listen to rap a lot. Also songs that are really popular.

|~•~|The first letters as A & M in a name screams Cancer and Cancer placements. This isn’t any theory or fact but it’s the same as like for an example: November, orange and Thursday are the same. Same with this.

|~•~|I am surprised not so many people are interested in draconic charts.

|~•~|Pisces moon people can go either way. They either act like the placement is described as or they act complete opposite and completely a different way. Usually remind me of Aries moon or placements even if they might not have any Aries placements. It just amazes me.

|~•~| I feel like Libra and Aries just in general are the chillest opposite signs as in they get along the best. (Not in the means of the sun.) Also as in the opposite, I feel like people with heavy Leo and people with heavy Aquarius get the least along with each-other.

|~•~|Scorpio + Virgo + Libra in a chart people are highly like to have their mbti type as ENFJ.

|~•~|The part of Fortune is what you do and the house is how you do it.

For an example: Part of Fortune in the 6th house - you want to break your dreams into actionable smaller steps. People with this position become successful when they approach their goals in an organized, strategic way.

|~•~|When it comes to physical beauty, I’d consider looking at the ruler of the chart.

Thank you for reading.

~ Also for context, I wrote this at 2AM so if something does not make sense then feel free to comment about it.

See you next time.

Love, Tsunami <3

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I in no means want to offend anyone. If I come off in a rude way, then it is not intentionally.

I hope that you enjoyed this post, happy September. Hope that everyone’s school journey to a new year will be smooth and happy.

Good luck to everyone who are entering a new season. Hope you’re doing well.

#astrology #astrologyobservations #yourtags #recommended

[the-witch-of-one-piece]

HI! Can I have headcanons for zoro, law, ace, and luffy with an overprotective tall male serial killer s/o. They always like to fight there battles for them no matter what even if it makes them mad and they fight with knives as well. They don’t discriminate when killing and is willing to do anything to protect them even die. They also have the three hakis as well. They also wear a mask that covers there face and are usually docile and quiet and doesn’t speak to many words usually saying one or two words and speak only when spoken too.

A/N: Hello my dear<3 When I seen serial killer I was like whoa like Ted Bundy ,Edmund Kemper and John Wayne Gacy kind of thing going on. But reading into it more I feel that he will be categorized more as Over protective S/O with good combat skills the silent deadly type if you know what I mean yet very mysterious they wonder what's behind the mask. 🤔 This is what I'm reading it as. I hope you enjoy love <3

Zoro, Law, Ace and Luffy with a over protective tall man S/O

Zoro

-Zoro was very hesitant at first when meeting you with your tall frame and you fought with knives he almost consider you a rival but then you join the crew you both clicked. You were more quiet than the other noisy crew he liked that about you.

-During battle Zoro made it clear he didn't need any help fighting his battle. But when you try step in he is pissed. "Stay out of my battle _____"

-But then there were times you saved his ass thanks to your to your Kenbunshoku Haki. Those last mins blows that would have taken him out. He is also thankful you always stay close. He is not very verbal about being thankful in his mind.

-He completely understands your are a simple man and have very few words to say. He does have appreciation for you . He knows your powerful there also the mutal respect for each other in your relationship when you both battle together you could take down anyone.

Law

-Law didn't expect this to blossom into anything when he met you he was on the verge of killing you until he spared your life. With that simple act he done for you you shown nothing but loyalty to this man.

-As law will battle with enemies he can see you ready to step in "not yet ______" he would say in a stern voice. He knows you could get carried away when battling knowing anything you feel is an opposing threat you will destroy. Law wanted no casualties harmed when battling.

-When you see him wounded badly in a battle you step in. Putting your life on the line using your Busoshoku Haki to protect you both from a final blows from an attack you both managing to escape or win the battle.

-Law would rather be curious of what you look like behind your mask but not force you to take it off. It will take you sometime to even show your true self unmasked. You were very direct with answers you didn't give explanations or anything. Law liked straightforward answers.

Ace

-Ace likes the strong silent types it polar opposite from him. He enjoys that balance in your relationship with him.. He could see some good inside of you.

-Ace likes the back up he knows if it a big job he can count on you. "We got this _____" he said with. cocky smile. I mean it would be a bit of competition between you both battling to see who could take most of the bad guys out.

-He had to talk to you about begin careful with it came to the innocent. He would rely on you take care of the bad guys while he save the innocent.

-He has tried to peak at your face a few times but you would avoid ever maneuver. "please stop." you would say to him in a deep voice.

-"just a peak please." he would give a goofy grin.

Luffy

-Luffy is a bit similar to Ace attracted to polar opposite. He will try to get you to open up more with him. He will be the type to try and pull the mask off your face. "Hey can I see your face ______" with his finger in his nose you gotta love the guy

-During a serious battle Luffy will tell you "This ones mine." you could see the rage in his face. When luffy will get like this you had to make sure the opposing enemies did try to sneak attacks him.

-Seeing some sneaky opponents trying to ambush him nope nay nay I say you are there to immediately cutting them up even trying to fine some opponents using your Kenbunshoku Haki. Putting your life on the line to save him Luffy wouldn't forgive himself he would have immediately PTSD remembering Ace's death.

-Seeing luffy risk his life for you this would active your Haoshoku Haki being is able to stall the enemy launch a full blown attack.

[sgorpio]

something i just thought was kind of interesting is the fact that john wayne gacy and richard ramirez both had the same sun, moon, and ascendant signs. both pisces suns and moons with a sagittarius asc. (note i am not at all trying to imply that if u have these big 3 u are a serial killer)

  just the similar nature in which they both had very little to no control over the need to release the developed anger they had inside them. pisces are very fantasy over feeling people who sometimes have a hard time creating boundaries over their emotional control and realities. this is what causes them to naturally be self-destructive people. where the fantasy part comes in is both of them being sexually motivated with their crimes and having the broad imaginations of what they could do to their victims.

pisces moon are vulnerable and are easily molded by the surroundings they grew up in. both richard and john having violent family members put an emotional burden on them making them always seek for a way to “escape reality” and be away from everyone to collect their thoughts. not to mention them also having loner mannerisms which is common in pisces. usually the people around them don’t even realize they are being affected because they are so private and keep their dark thoughts to themselves.

having sagittarius as their ascendant they were definitely viewed as ruthless, confident, dominating and competitive people. i think this applies a lot to richard where deep down he had a mindset to kill as many people as he could before getting caught. in general, once they have their minds set on something they felt had to be done, they would get it done and in a powerful way.

[callmebrycelee]

9-1-1: LONE STAR REACTION

This reaction is for the season 3, fifteenth episode titled “Down to Clown” which originally aired on April 25, 2022. The episode was written by Molly Green and James Leffler and directed by SJ Main Munoz. Spoilers ahead!

This week delivered two solid episodes from both of our 9-1-1 shows. We start this week’s episode off with an emergency involving the dumbest survivalist ever. Ronald the Survival Guy (guest star Edward Gelhaus) is showing his audience how to build an emergency shelter. While he is using a knife to sharpen a stick, he sees a tiny alligator lizard (which apparently is a thing) and decides this is the perfect time to show his audience how to grill up the poor little feller. He uses his knife to stab at the critter. Of course, as a viewer, I see where this is going, and it doesn’t take long before Ronald the Survival Guy stabs himself in the leg. Cue the title card.

Tommy, Nancy, and TK arrive at the scene although they have to go way off the beaten path to even get to Ronald the Survival Guy. When they find him, they see him writhing in pain. We quickly learn the alligator lizard he was trying to viciously murder has crawled into his wound. While Nancy places a tourniquet around his leg, Tommy reaches her fingers into Ronald the Survival Guy’s leg wound and is able to remove the lizard. TK is there to hold open the biohazard bag so they can send the lizard off to be examined. One thing my mom and I noticed in this scene is that TK seems sort of superfluous. Between Tommy and Nancy, they seem like they can take care of most of what needs to be done during emergencies, much like Hen and Chimney. I like TK being a paramedic, but he always seems like an afterthought because Tommy and Nancy are so in sync as partners.

We head over to Owen’s therapy session with Dr. Patt (guest star Michael Kostroff), and we do see is making some progress. Part of his therapy homework is to keep a journey where he keeps track of all of the times he felt rage or the urge to lash out. When Dr. Patt reads over the entries he discovers there are a LOT of entries since their last session. Dr. Patt asks Owen about this, and Owen admits that as of late he has been feeling a lot of rage as of late, but he doesn’t know where it’s coming from. Dr. Patt mentions a form of therapy called EMDR – Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. This form of therapy is designed to keep the active mind preoccupied which frees up the unconscious mind.

When Dr. Patt tries out the therapy with Owen, he asks him what he sees. At first Owen sees TK in the hospital with a tube down his throat and then he starts to see a red nose which turns into a clown. Owen immediately dismisses the clown, but Dr. Patt says this is actually a great place for them to start. Dr. Patt suspects Owen has some sort of trauma involving clowns and when he asks Owen to list what comes to mind when he thinks about clowns, he mentions John Wayne Gacy and Pennywise which are all negative. Owen hates clowns and Dr. Patt believes he may have coulrophobia – the fear of clowns. In true Owen Strand fashion, he is in denial about having such a fear and assures Dr. Patt clowns are not that big of a deal for him.

The next scene gives us an emergency involving a businessman named Jordan (guest star Alex Quijano) and the most heartbreaking moment of the episode. Jordan is in town for business and is staying in a rented condo on the fifth floor of a building. The building is on fire, and he is trapped. Dave (recurring Dominic Burgess) receives the 9-1-1 call, and he does his best to get Jordan to safety. He finds the schematics of the building Jordan is staying in and tells him to go into a room designated as the workout room. Once inside, Jordan closes the door, but the smoke starts coming in under the crack. Dave directs him to break out the windows in the room. When Jordan looks around he doesn’t see in the room which is baffling to Dave who is looking at the blueprints to the building. He instructs Jordan to use water from a water tank to wet some towels and stick them under the door, but flames start coming inside the room. Jordan thanks Dave for all his help and resigns himself to his fate. The call is disconnected.

Grace notices how devasted Dave is after the call and she walks over to comfort him. Dave tries to shrug it off but then he tells her that’s the first time he’s ever lost a person on a call – ever. Grace feels really bad for him and invites him over for dinner at her place. He initially declines the invite, but Grace says that she can convince Judd to make some of the potato salad that she knows Dave likes. Dave is now on board to join the Ryders for dinner.

We then head over to TK and Carlos’ place where the latter is working out. I love that this show loves to find ways to give us a sweaty Carlos and I approve so hard! TK brings home the alligator lizard and Carlos is clearly not on board with having it in their living space. However, since he is such a good boyfriend to TK, he eventually acquiesces to having it as their new pet. My mom pointed out in this scene that TK seems usually giddy. In fact, he seems that way the entire episode. I commented that he was sort of like a walking bobble head. I know TK is sober at the moment but if I didn’t know that I would’ve been 100-percent convinced he was drunk in every scene he shares with Carlos.

Over at the Ryders, Judd notices that Dave has barely touched his food, including the potato salad he and Grace know Dave loves. Dave tells him that it’s hard to enjoy food when he knows he killed a guy who was the father of two children. Grace assures him that it was not his fault and that the guy was on the fifth floor of a burning building, but Dave remains convinced that he is the one who led Jordan into a windowless room to die. Judd tells Dave the potato salad he likes is not his recipe, rather it’s the recipe of one of his best friends who perished in the fire at the farm and feed factory. Dave says he remembers the tragedy. Judd says on the drive over, it was his job to look at the maps of the building, but it never occurred to him that a fertilizer factory was basically a bomb waiting to go off.

Judd says that he beat himself up over his ability to save his friends (the original 126) for weeks. Grace says it was months. Dave asks him how long it took him to forgive himself and Judd says he never did. Judd does tell Dave that after lots of therapy he has learned to carry on and Grace assures Dave he will learn to carry on after this tragedy as well. It’s such a lovely moment shared between the Ryders. I love how supportive they are of each other, how Judd didn’t bat an eye at Grace inviting Dave over. I love how much of a unit they are and at the end of the day they are the best couple we have on a show where couples are few and far between.

We get a scene where Owen is having a nightmare where his therapist Dr. Patt is a clown. And we’re moving on.

We head back over to the Ryders’ place, and we see Grace wake up. When she shuts off her alarm, she hears Charlie making sounds in the next room. Grace gets up and heads into the kitchen. She is surprised to see Dave in the kitchen with Charlie making breakfast. The part where I literally laughed out loud is when Dave says he got up when he heard Charlie mewling at the crack of dawn. Grace then asks the question that is on all our minds: why is Dave in their kitchen so early in the morning. Dave says that he and Judd tied one on the night before and Judd offered him to stay over and crash on the couch.

Grace is obviously unnerved about Dave being in their home, but Judd informs her that he said Dave could stay with them while a clog is being repaired at his apartment. Grace is one of the most patient people on the planet, so she tries so hard to accept this news without little fuss. We then get a montage of Grace’s interactions with Dave while they are sharing a living space. He uses up all the hot water. He swaps out their “freeze dried” coffee for French press. He cooks bangers and mash instead of their usual breakfast. He drinks all of the milk – apparently he needed some warm milk to sleep. He doesn’t clean up after himself when he cooks. They carpool which means there is literally no moment during the day when they don’t see each other. Grace is clearly bothered by having Dave be so much a part of her daily life.

At Owen’s next appointment, he blames Dr. Patt for the nightmares he’s been having. Owen reveals that all of them have involved clowns in some way. Dr. Patt believes the EMDR is working at that the clowns are an indicator of some unprocessed trauma he wants Owen to explore. Owen, of course, is reluctant to go down this road and seems angry about it. We then flash over to kid’s birthday party where a clown is performing The clown crashes through a piece of playground equipment and the 126 responds. Much like Bobby at the spider house, Owen is absolutely terrified of the clown and refuses to make contact with it. Tommy senses that Owen is having a panic attack and quickly figures out that Owen is deathly afraid of clowns. What I like is that she doesn’t mock him for it. Fears are real and some of them may seem silly, but fears can be very debilitating.

While the birthday clown is being loaded into the ambulance, his son asks if he can ride along. The mother of the boy who is divorced from the clown agrees they can ride with the dad. When Owen sees this, Judd comes up to him and makes a comment about little boys loving their daddies. Owen gets a severe look on his face and at first I thought this was about he and TK’s relationship which hasn’t always been the best. On a second viewing of the episode, I now realize in this moment he was thinking about his relationship with his own father whom we’ve never met yet along heard about. Something tells me we will be meeting the elder Strand very soon,

We head back to TK and Carlos’ place. TK is just getting home from making a grocery store run. Before he unloads and puts up the groceries, he heads over to the tank to check on Lou the lizard alligator. He sees that Lou is not in his tank and notices the lid on top is askew. TK remains calm as to not freak out his boyfriend. He subtlety looks around the apartment while he talks with Carlos and sees that the alligator lizard is perched on the back of the sofa where Carlos is sitting. Rather than TK calming inform Carlos about their new pet being in such close proximity to his person, TK, instead, decides to pretend like he is cuddling up to his boyfriend and while he is embracing Carlos, he is reaching for his reptile friend.

When TK goes to grab Lou, he notices he’s not there. He then sees the alligator lizard sitting on Carlos’ shoulder. Carlos picks up on what’s going on and does what most people would probably do if they were in his situation and freaks out. He jumps up and suddenly Lou is out of sight. Carlos chastises TK for letting the alligator lizard get on him and you know what, some of you might think he’s overreacting at that moment, but TK did something that I think is emotionally manipulative. You don’t bring a pet into a home you share with someone and expect them to be okay with your decision. This reminds me of the time I shared an apartment with someone who had a cat. I am not the biggest fan of cats PLUS I’m super allergic to their dander and the person I decided to room with neglected to mention they had a cat. I was PISSED but since I had nowhere else to live, I had to deal with living with a cat. All I can say about this situation is that Carlos is a much better person than I am.

Grace retreats to Tommy’s house to get away from Dave for a bit. When Tommy asks her how long their guest will be staying with them, Grace tells her that Dave will be staying with them until the plumbing situation at his house is fixed. Tommy tells Grace about the time she and Charles had a plumbing emergency and how it lasted for six months until they took a jackhammer to the kitchen floor and an extra week to put the kitchen back together. Grace tries to rationalize her and Judd’s decision to have Dave stay with them by telling Tommy (and reminding herself) that having Dave around hasn’t been all bad. He’s helped with the baby, he cooks, and she and Judd are saving on gas money by carpooling. Tommy points out that not only is Dave there when Grace wakes up, her rides to work with her, works with her, and then she sees him when she’s back at home at the end of the day. Grace tries to assure her friend that there is nothing wrong with Dave, but Tommy sees right through it and points out that if nothing is wrong then she wouldn’t be at her home still in her work clothes.

Tommy tells Grace she needs to kick Dave out, but Grace says she will feel bad about kicking him out when he has no place to go. Grace then says the real test of Christian charity isn’t when it’s easy, but when it’s hard. She points out that Tommy put all her anger, pain, and bad blood with Julius aside so that he could come stay with her and the girls. Tommy reminds Grace that Julius cleans, helps her girls with homework and is out at a movie with them. Tommy says that Julius is not taxing her Christian charity the way that Dave is taxing Grace’s. Tommy then does something amazing when she reminds Grace that she is not Jesus. Yes, tell her, Tommy! I love me some Grace, but she puts up way with way more than she should and she often doesn’t pick a fight. We saw that earlier this season when Judd dropped the bomb that he fathered a child prior to them getting married. Instead of her getting justifiably angry and upset by this, she invited his son and his son’s mother into her home without any issue. Grace is a good person, but she doesn’t have to be a saint.

Judd arrives to pick Grace up and notices Charlie isn’t with him. When she asks about the baby, Judd tells her that Charlie is with Uncle Dave. The two of them get back to their place just in time to find out that Charlie took her steps while they were away. Dave assures them that he was able to catch the moment on film but when he shows them the footage, he somehow manages to flip the camera to face himself and misses out on capturing the moment altogether. Grace and Judd are visibly disappointed by this. Later on, that night, Judd asks Grace when she is going to kick him out and Grace looks like she wants to strangle him.

At his next therapy session, Owen confesses to Dr. Patt he is terrified of clowns, which we already knew. Dr. Patt tells him he should be proud of himself for admitting that to himself and to Dr. Patt. Dr. Patt then asks if Owen has given any thought as to what is causing this phobia. Owen relays his nightmare, again, and mentions that when Dr. Patt appeared to him as a clown, he called him “Sonny Boy”. Dr. Patt asks Owen if that phrase holds any significance to him. Owen says there’s only one person who has ever called him that – his father. Dr. Patt says Owen has never mentioned his dad in any of their sessions and Owen assures him there isn’t much to say about him. Owen tells Dr. Patt he hasn’t seen his father since he was twelve years old. He then says that his dad abandoned the family and when that happened he felt shame, terror, and rage. Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner. Dr. Patt asks Owen if he ever had a chance to tell his dad how he felt, and Owen says he’s never talked about his feelings towards his dad until now. Owen says he feels relief but not as much as he’d like because speaking his feelings out loud doesn’t change what happened. Dr. Patt suggests Owen speak his feelings to the person who needs to hear them.

At the dispatch center, Grace mentally (and spiritually) prepares herself to tell Dave he can no longer stay with her, Judd, and the baby. She heads into the break room and tells him that they need to talk. Before Grace has a chance to let him down easy, Dave beats her to the punch by telling her that while it’s been a wonderful experience staying with them, he says he’s felt smothered by all the togetherness. He tells her the only reason he accepted Judd’s invite to stay with them is because he didn’t want to disappoint Judd and he didn’t want to disappoint her. Grace tells her she is not disappointed and mostly she is happy she will be returning to her normal lifestyle now that Dave is leaving.

Dave tells Grace that he is feeling better about the call he had the other day because he figured out that the owners of the condo did some remodeling and then update the blueprints in the system. So, the blueprints he was reading off of during the call were not the most up to date – which was not his fault. It still sucks that poor man died in the fire but at the very least his family can probably sue for wrongful death or something. That’s the end of this particular storyline and I hope we get to see more of Dave because I like him as a character, and I like that Grace has someone to interact with at work. On the OG series, there are like so many other characters at the dispatch center – Linda, Sue, Josh, Jamal, Terry, etc. – in addition to Maddie and May and Eddie.

Back at TK and Carlos’ place, Carlos has managed to track down Lou and put him back in his tank. When TK finds him, Carlos is watching over Lou which is a touchy gesture considering he’s not too enamored with having the reptile in their house. TK suggests that they set the alligator lizard free in a place where it can thrive and be happy and Carlos is ever so grateful. I’m so glad that TK came to this decision because if he decided to keep it, I think Carlos would have continued to grin and bear it until he finally snapped.

In the last scene of the episode, we see Owen making a phone call. A woman answers and he asks for Walter Strand. The woman tells him that Walter is not available. When she asks if she can take a message, we see Owen freeze up and the episode comes to an end.

Out of fifteen episodes so far this season, none of them have been a miss for me which is very rare for a show like this. When it comes to the OG series, there’s only a handful of episodes – “Malfunction” and “Athena Begins” – that I avoid on a rewatch and that’s only because those episodes are emotionally taxing for me. When it comes to Lone Star, I find it hard to rewatch anything from the first season because so much of that season involves Iris (Liv Tyler) and her quest to find her sister which feels so disparate from the rest of the show. I do enjoy season 2 but it’s hard to watch the episode right after Charles dies and seeing Owen bicker with Gwyn isn’t exactly my favorite thing either. This is a season I can see myself restarting from the beginning as soon as we get the season finale.

This episode gave me a lot of things I needed including some resolution with Owen’s anger storyline. I like that Owen is finally lowering his walls and even though he is still so stubborn, I think he is benefiting from the therapy sessions he is having. I guess we will finally get to meet his dad and maybe some other members of his family in the next episode. It makes me wonder what TK will think of all of this. With the Grace storyline, I am happy that we are finally seeing her more at work and at home. I feel like we only get to see Grace when she is taking calls but now that she has someone at work to interact with, it makes me wonder what kind of storylines we are going to get with her in the future. As I mentioned earlier, I like Dave and I hope we get to see more of him. The OG series does a great job of balancing a large cast, so I hope Lone Star takes the opportunity to flesh out some of our character lives. We’ve seen Paul’s parents and Grace’s parents. I wanna see Mateo and Marjan’s families. And Nancy’s as well. Lastly, I loved the scenes between Carlos and TK. As I’ve mentioned many times in previous reactions, Carlos is a dream boyfriend, and he is beyond patient and supporting when it comes to TK. I would like to see him take more steps towards being more independent in his career. I still feel like, at times, Carlos is treated as the occasional cop who is mostly there to be TK’s love interest. I wanna see him pursue being a detective. Overall, this was a great episode and I’m looking forward to next week’s episode. I’m also sad we are nearing the end of season three. Until next time …

[lamortexiii]

Cryptic Mystic: The Psychology of a Serial Killer

There are hundreds of serial killers, both in the fiction and non-fiction world. I don’t have near enough time to cover the story and the psychology of all of them - hell, there is so much information that is relevant, one at a time will suffice. Today we take a look at John Wayne Gacy. Gacy was born in Chicago, Illinois in 1942 to an auto mechanic/WWI veteran and a home-maker. There are some interesting things about his childhood that, from a psychological perspective, most likely played an important role in the way that Gacy developed. Had things in his childhood been different, he could have very well turned out to be a different person. He may not have killed anyone. Unfortunately, his life began down a troubled road early on. He was close with his mother and two sisters, but he had a rocky relationship with his father, as his father was an alcoholic and severely mentally and physically abusive on a regular basis. 

Gacy’s father would often talk down on him, call him names, and whip him with a leather belt in excess. Gacy wanted a relationship with his father more than anything, but unfortunately, he never got to really have much of one. Instead, he lived most of his life never feeling good enough for his father - always feeling the need to try harder and to be better. This feeling manifested a more widespread entity within Gacy, which led to him feeling as though he was never good enough for anyone. Some speculate that his issues with his father perpetuated his obsession with young boys and men. I would have to agree that there was likely something there. People who have serious issues with their parents (male or female) are said to have “mommy issues” or “daddy issues”. The conflicts with the male/female parent iis then projected onto all or most people of that biological sex either during periods in life or, in some cases, for the rest of the individual’s life. To add to this recipe for disaster, Gacy was also regularly molested by a family friend. Gacy reported that he was afraid to tell anyone about being molested due to the fear of his dad blaming him (fear of not being good enough again).

Gacy was well known in his community. Viewing him on the outside, you would have never guessed what was happening inside of his mind. The torment. The torture. His first job at the age of 18 was working as an assistant precinct captain for his local Democratic party. He admittedly reported that he decided to pursue this job because he sought attention and recognition from others - that which he never received from his father. Growing tired of his father’s abuse, he left home and moved to Las Vegas where he began working with an ambulance service. Shortly thereafter, he switched jobs and became a mortuary assistant. It is during this three-month period that Gacy reports having first realized he “may have a problem”. One night when he was alone at the mortuary he said he climbed into the coffin of a dead teen-aged boy and caressed the body as he laid next to it. It seems as though he was seeking affection from the body. Gacy reports he did not realize what he was doing until it was already happening, and upon realizing what he was doing he became scared and felt out of control. He immediately called his mother and asked if he could come back home. It is important to note that as early as age 7, Gacy was said to have sexually fondled a young girl with another young boy. We begin to see some potential disturbances with Gacy pretty early on, but he did not gain self-awareness of this until he was a young adult. It is important to note that the average age that a person starts to exhibit symptoms of a severe mental illness and gain self-awareness of those symptoms is typically in their late teens/early 20’s. Gacy fits this statistic like a glove. This is when things really start to ramp up. When he returned home he got a job at a shoe factory that transferred him to Springfield, Illinois. While there he received a promotion, and shortly thereafter was set to be married to a co-worker of his, Marlynn Myers. Gacy joined the local Jaycees. Things were really starting to look up for Gacy. He was doing well. One night a colleague of his from the Jaycees invited him over for some drinks and then performed oral sex on Gacy. Gacy did not decline.

Gacy and his wife moved to Waterloo, Iowa where Gacy got a job managing his father-in-law’s Kentucky Fried Chicken chains. Marlynn’s parents provided them with a free house. Again, things were looking good. But things aren't what they appeared to be. The damage to Gacy’s psyche had already been done, and things were just beginning to develop. Gacy began running a “club” in his basement, allowing underaged boys that he employed to come over to drink alcohol and play pool. He would make sure they were drunk before he would make sexual advances towards them. He was never reported because if they rejected him, he played it off as a joke or a “test of morals”. In 1966 they had their first daughter. Gacy’s father has finally apologized for his wrongdoings - Gacy had finally gained his father’s approval. He joined the Waterloo Jaycees and again gained notoriety and popularity. In 1967 he sexually assaulted the son of a fellow Jaycee member, Donald Voorhees, who was 15-years-old at the time. He began to sexually assault many teenage boys, some of which he blackmailed. In 1968 Donald told his father about the assault. Gacy was found guilty of sodomy. His wife divorced him. It was at this time that Gacy was given a diagnosis of Antisocial Personality Disorder.

Antisocial Personality Disorder is often mistaken as meaning someone is not social. This is a common misconception. People with APD have difficulty keeping long-term relationships and have complete disregard for others. People with APD often violate the space/rights of others. People with APD may appear to not have a conscience, may have a history of breaking rules or disregarding the law, have substance abuse issues, and typically exhibit aggressive and impulsive behavior. This particular disorder is often developed in childhood, and the individual will present symptomatology between the ages of 8-11. Conduct Disorder is often seen in children who go on to develop APD in adolescence/early adulthood.

Gacy served in prison from 1968-1970 and was then released on parole. He returned to Chicago. Gacy continued to have run-ins with young boys. He was accused of attempted rape on several occasions. He remarried in 1972. In 1975 he came out to his wife as bi-sexual. On Mother’s Day that year, they had sex, and he told his wife this was the last time they would ever have sex. He began bringing young boys home to “hang out” and would leave and come home at odd hours of the day and night. That year Gacy and his second wife divorced upon the fake terms that he engaged in infidelity with another woman. He was working at a PDM company (painting, decorating, and maintenance) and performing as Pogo the clown and Patches the clown as a side hustle around town. During this time Gacy bribed several of his male coworkers for sex. He joined the Moose club and made himself familiar with those in the local political world. Things were (again) looking good.

Gacy’s first murder took place in 1972. From 1972-1978 Gacy murdered 33 boys and young men, burying 26 of them under his own house. There is speculation that he murdered more than 33 people, but this has not been proven. He would lure young boys and men to his house, bribing them with things like money, drugs, or alcohol. Once the person was inebriated, Gacy would put handcuffs on them to “show them a magic trick” from his clown routine. He would then proceed to rape and torture his victims for as long as he liked. After he was done with the torture and rape, his signature murder move was to use a rope tourniquet that he twisted with a hammer to suffocate the victims to death. He reportedly stated “this is the last trick” as he listened to his victims breathe their last breath. Gacy took his own last breath on May 10, 1994, at the Stateville Correctional Center in Crest Hill, Illinois after sitting on death row, where he was given a lethal injection. 

Now, I want to make an important point known. None of this information given is to say that everyone who has a troubled childhood, or even everyone in a similar situation to any of these serial killers, is destined to have issues (or to become a serial killer). There are many factors to consider when talking about mental health in a specific individual. I like to refer to the biopsychosocial model often when talking about several things in the mental health field. The three key factors that affect a person’s development include their biology (how they are born/things they are physically predisposed to), their psychology (how their brain/mind works), and their social environment (how the environment and people around the person affect them). There is no “one size fits all”.

Gacy was a sick man. It is apparent that a combination of his biology, psychology, and social surroundings, and environment combined to create the perfect storm. People often ask if serial killers are born or made. The argument between the two can get hot and heavy very quickly. In my opinion, I think it’s a little bit of both. I don’t think that either side is totally wrong here. Someone may be born with a predisposition for certain behaviors and traits from a biological perspective. A person’s experiences and biological make-up form how they perceive the world, thus affecting their psychology - brain/mind interaction. Their social environment (the things that are out of their control) are also a factor affecting their growth and development. One small change in any of these factors and a person can develop in an entirely different way. Unfortunately for Gacy, he had a lot of different things going on that contributed to his development of APD/psychopathy. Firstly, he was born into an abusive home where he was constantly ridiculed for most of his young life. He was physically and mentally abused on a regular basis at the hands of his father. Second, while we can’t physically look into Gacy’s brain or body to understand his body from a biological viewpoint, he was likely born with certain personality traits which predisposed him to react and develop the way he did after his early childhood experiences. Gacy stated he was bi-sexual, but it is unclear as to what Gacy truly felt inside as to how he identified sexually. In the time Gacy was alive, anything aside from heterosexuality was seen as forbidden or “bad” by a majority of American society. Gacy, being seemingly confused about his sexuality, likely felt guilt and shame for having sexual feelings towards those of the same sex. Tie this in with his father’s constant disapproval; I am sure Gacy felt trapped and completely unable to express himself as an individual. It appeared that he began to try to express himself sexually with boys/young men, but he did so in an awkward way at first - still never seeming to truly feel accepted as a bisexual (or) gay man. Later these confusing and awkward social and sexual experiences turned sadistic and volatile in nature. By this point, his disorder has already begun developing and worsening, as it was untreated. This is when we start to see the abusive nature of his father manifest in his actions. He began to talk down to his victims, as his father talked down to him. In fact, research shows that there is a correlation between victims of abuse abusing others. You would think that people who had been through abuse would want to be better and never treat someone in that way. Again, depending on the person, sometimes the opposite happens… 

What do you think? What are your theories on why Gacy became the person that we know him as today? What other factors do you think were at play? Let me know in the comments or send me a message. I hope that you learned something new. I plan on writing more blogs that unravel the mind of serial killers. If there is a particular serial killer you would like me to cover, let me know. I take blog topic requests!

I wish you all a happy Halloween. Stay weird, stay curious, and stay safe out there.

Cryptic Mystic Blog by PsychVVitch @psychvvitch

www.LaMorteXiii.com

[bookworming-101]

Next Loading...

Next on the Double Down Train is....

 MINDHUNTER BY JOHN DOUGLAS AND MARK OLSHAKER 

See the blurb below! 

He has hunted some of the most notorious and sadistic criminals of our time: The Trailside Killer in San Francisco, the Atlanta Child murderer. He has confronted, interviewed and researched dozens of serial killers and assassins, including Charles Manson, Richard Speck, John Wayne Gacy, and James Earl Ray - for a landmark study to understand their motives. To get inside their minds. He is Special Agent John Douglas, the model for law enforcement legend Jack Crawford in Thomas Harris's thrillers Red Dragon and The Silence of the Lambs, and the man who ushered in a new age in behavorial science and criminal profiling. Recently retired after twenty-five years of service, John Douglas can finally tell his unique and compelling story.

[creepy-crowleys]

Once upon a time, there was an email. Is information distilling into a super-weird substance? Can it grow every time it transmits? Can data develop feelings? Can those feelings be hurt? Hell hath no fury than a meme scorned. That's silly! Right? From our personnel experience, sweetling, it is not.

Index << | < | 5 - 6 | > | >>

She finds it hard to concentrate however, considering the creepy clown statue in the corner. She has never liked clowns and this one seems out of place in the tasteful surroundings.

The father calls, voice slurred with drink, to check on his children. They babysitter assures him that all is fine and asks what possessed him to buy the horrible clown statue.

"Get the children and get out of the house."

She complies, bundling her bewildered charges out the door as the police arrive. The clown statue was not a statue at all, but a clothed killer.

In a bloodier version, the babysitter is cut down and the story ends as the killer clown moves up the staircase of the mansion.

The clown prefers this version. He enjoys killing the virtual babysitter, the taste of her digital fear. He reaches out into his newfound existence and finds his niche in the uncanny valley. he flickers easily among all the forms his legend can take and sidles up beside John Wayne Gacy in the Google hits for Killer Clown.

And to ensure his survival, he adds a line to the email. "If you don't forward this to 10 people, the clown will be standing next to your bed at 3am with a knife."

It's always 3am somewhere.

There are things that exist in the universe because they fill a space in our minds. A fear-shaped hole drilled into our souls. You feel it, don't you? you spend your life trying to fill it. I am the clown and the woman. I am the emptiness that lives.

There is a car park on Solomon Island, by Whale Watch. And I will be waiting for you, inside the mirror.

You will bow to me. You will salute me. You will worship me.

And if you don't forward this email to 5 friends within the next 2 days, you will die.

[gyougherea]

you know what honestly i wanna talk more about my nina lore headcanon let's gooooooo

putting it under a keep reading because WOW this was long. i wanna hear your thoughts though if you have any! either with a reply to this, an ask, a DM, etc.

it's a first draft of anything detailed on my nina backstory, so i'm sorry if it's a bit clunky or missing some details haha ^^;

Before Nina was The Killer, she was Nina Emilia Moreno, the shy introverted college undergraduate double-majoring in Forensic Chemistry and Psychological Science.

Nina was surprisingly a very high-performing student. While she was never an Ivy League student, she was still in the top 1% of all students nationally in terms of academic performance.

Outside of schoolwork, Nina's passion was true crime. Something always intrigued her about the psychology behind a serial killer along with the open-endedness of unsolved cases. Her first serial killer of interest was the Killer Clown, John Wayne Gacy.

Nina ended up getting an internship with a forensics team at 20, but instead of doing actual forensics they usually put her on paperwork duty. She eventually heard talk at work of an ominous unknown killer at large --- dubbed the Glasgow Killer --- who apparently already had 5 victims in the area in the past two weeks alone, not counting the strings of murders in other places from the same supposed killer. This piqued Nina's interest, and she tried asking if she could help with the case, but was ultimately shut down.

Nina doesn't take no for an answer when it comes to her interests. She secretly got copies of every case file on victims of the Glasgow Killer, along with any additional information about the killer or who it could possibly be. Any free time Nina had was dedicated to solving the case on her own so she could stick it to her employers.

This motive, unfortunately, did not stay the same. Eventually Nina was... oddly touched by how passionate the killer seemed to their craft. Practically no information was ever found on this killer over their reign of terror, even in other states where they had attacked, and the victims were all branded with a smile carved into their faces. The gimmick and the mystery of identity sparked something in Nina's mind. She was curious about who this person was. She wanted to meet this person.

By the time class started back up after summer, Nina's few friends noticed she was becoming a shut-in at this point; she stopped attending classes regularly, ruining her perfect attendance record, and when she did attend she had this exhausted yet crazed look on her face. They tried to confront her about this, but she pushed it off as "just a lot of work recently, that's all". They didn't believe her, but they knew she wasn't the type to hide anything unless she really wouldn't budge on it (considering otherwise she was an incredibly open book).

Nina's girlfriend at the time tried confronting her, too, but the concerned intervention turned into a fight for the couple, Nina breaking off the relationship and claiming that her girlfriend was trying to suppress her aspirations. The two stopped talking to each other entirely after that.

Eventually, Nina's obsession became infatuation. What started off as a journal of notes taken about the case and her thoughts on it ended up becoming messy scribbles of her fantasizing about running away with the most notorious serial killer of her generation. She had a near-perfect understanding of the killer's style of murder and all of the patterns present in the strings of crimes. It was almost like she was becoming one with the Glasgow Killer.

At one point she tried inflicting the smile onto herself as a way to show herself (and the potential killer) her loyalty, but another girl in her dorm's hall had walked into the bathroom at the same time and almost called the police on her. In a panic, Nina tried to silence the girl and the girl ended up slipping, her head slamming into the corner of the sink. She didn't respond when Nina shook her, so Nina took her to her room as fast as she could, hoping she wouldn't get spotted. Thankfully she didn't, since it was very late at night, and Nina dropped the girl onto the ground. Nina did a check on the body, and it had a pulse still... but she knew that the girl would probably still call the cops on her. Would they take away her internship? Would they send her to a psychiatric facility? Would it take her away from this case she so desperately needed to study? Nina's mind then trailed somewhere... evil.

Nina snuck out of her dorm, body and "tools" in grasp, and booked it for her car. She threw the body in the trunk before driving off to the nearest forest. Once there, she went deep into the trees and set the body down again before pulling out a pocket knife. A normal person would have realized their mistake way before this and just faced the consequences of their accident. However, Nina was not that. Nina wanted to show the world just how well she knew the Glasgow Killer, inside and out. She killed the girl in the exact way her beloved would have, before booking it back to her car and to campus to head back to her dorm and pretend nothing happened.

But it isn't easy to pretend. Over the next few days, people started wondering where the girl --- Cassidy McEvoy, as Nina learned --- had gone. Nina didn't feel remorse for her crime, but she knew people would find out. Eventually they found the body, becoming the sixth "Glasgow Killer" victim. Nina then realized she made one fatal flaw in her actions: she had left fingerprints on the body. Nina knew she had to get on the move before the forensics people found out.

Nina swiftly packed up her room to leave, claiming it was because she was "scared of the killer on the loose". Thankfully, a handful of other people also got the same idea, so she didn't look too suspicious. She dropped out of university and left her internship with practically no notice before skipping town and spending the night one town over in a cheap motel under a fake name. While there she pondered what to do with her life. Her school, her job, her friends, her girlfriend, all gone because of her obsession with this one serial killer. All she was really good at was mimicking the killer's crimes.

... Wait. That gave her an idea.

All she had through all of this was the Glasgow Killer. In a fucked up sort of way, Nina felt that this murderer was the only one who she could truly relate to. She even wanted to run away with them... so what was stopping her? She had nothing else to lose.

Something in her brain had finally snapped. She was going to flatter him on the highest level: imitation.

Nina became the second Glasgow Killer. Sure, there were copycats, but all of them were distinctly not the real one. Nina's kills, on the other hand, fit the exact descriptions of the official murders. She was indistinguishable.

Except when her past came to bite her in the ass. Nina had been tracked via her license plate and a few places' security cameras, and one day the police showed up to the motel and pinned her to the floor of her room, handcuffing her and escorting her immediately to the police station where they frantically interrogated her for numerous hours before stopping when they found her belongings. The police had stayed back in the hotel and searched the room only to find the copies of the case files, along with her notebook detailing her spiral into a love obsession with the Glasgow Killer. The cops called her sick, a true evil, worse than the actual killer, that all copycats were scum of the earth.

They still arrested Nina, but the real killer was still at large, and Nina knew this. Thankfully for her, the place she was being held in wasn't the most secure, and she managed to break out the night before her trial. By the time morning came, Nina had already managed to hitch herself a ride to the state over after disguising herself as someone else. After that, she went off the map. No cop was able to locate her, but she had a massive bounty on her head: nationally wanted, high level target, and the state she used to live in along with all of the surrounding states were forced into lockdown for an entire month.

Nina spent this time changing up her aesthetic. She was always a fan of scene, but she used to dress very... opposite of that. Pastel sweater, leggings, fuzzy boots; she looked like the 2012 basic girl stereotype. She managed to have packages delivered to various houses with special instructions not to knock, and then she'd intercept the product before the owner would find it. She went from a calmer look to a spunky scene outfit. If you're going to be wanted, why not look your best when they finally catch you for your mugshot?

She also had taken to heart what the cops had said. They were right; an exact copycat was dumb. Plus, the real Glasgow Killer wouldn't see her standing out as much as she wanted. No, instead she wanted to add her own spin on it.

By her "own spin", she meant leaving love letters to the killer. Hearts in jars, notes written in blood, bodies arranged and disfigured to make heart shapes; you name it, she left it. This was her love letter to the Glasgow Killer. All of this was for them, and she hoped one day she would find them.

Her biggest current leads are a handful of survivors in the New England area; it looked like the Glasgow Killer had moved locations ever since Nina's debacle. She hopes to gather any information on the killer's appearance from these victims' testimonies, but also plans on paying them a personal visit. Amongst these supposed survivors is a man named Jeffrey Woods, and it looks like he's Nina's next visit. If only she knew what she was about to discover...

[sagebodisattva]

The Universe Doesn’t Give a Shit About You

You know, one thing that has become seriously irritating nowadays, is this whole “the universe is doing something for you” shtick, that’s apparently become the latest favorite new age meme, currently making it’s rounds on the internets. Take a look at this stuff.

(A variety of examples are shown.)

And that’s just a small sampling. And this isn’t just a case of a few isolated incidents. This type of sentiment is everywhere now; seemingly having become all the rage among many aspiring spiritual truth seekers.

“Depressed? Cheer up. The universe is horny for you!”

By first appearances, making references to the universe seems to reflect a more scientifically based position, although, I don’t think these seekers really mean it in a scientific way. Essentially, these new age universe worshippers are just former theists, who probably finally realized the complete absurdity of that position, and so now, have shifted their heels over to pantheism; that is, a doctrine which identifies god with the universe, or regards the universe as a manifestation of god; which is basically a veneration of nature. And, as we all know, mother nature is pretty much a cold, predatory, discriminating bitch; so I’m not sure why anyone would associate nature with a benevolent god.

I know, god loves you so much, he allows evil to rack you to the core on purpose. It’s a test, right? It’s all part of his divine plan. God just wants to see if you will curse his name when he makes times get incredibly tough. It’s a Job type of deal. He’s forcing you into a position of struggle and suffering, all so he can wage a bet with the devil over whether or not you will be disobedient. Isn’t that just so cool of him? Now you get to show god just how loyal and subservient you are to him, despite all the abuses he hurls at you! That’s such an enviable position! The one true god loves you so much, he tortures you as a demonstration of just how much you worship and obey him. That’s what love is. And just think of how lucky you are! He picked *you* as a guinea pig in his twisted self aggrandizing experiment! He chose YOU! This would make such a great reality TV show!

Heaven and Hell productions, presents...

“The God Fucks Me Factor.”

Ah yes, it would be, so nice. Because god takes great pride in your blind obedience, you know. And he’s a very jealous god, if you can believe it. So what’s going on inside your head is of supreme importance him! You must think that you believe in him, then confess it with thy lips, and then go down, and perform some lip service on the godhead. You should show great pride in being a slave. It’s a feather in god’s cap. And now, can be more fully realized with the advent of pantheism. It’s theism, with a pan. It’s pantheism.

Famous 17th century Dutch philosopher Baruch Spinoza was really captivated by the idea of pantheism, and his many philosophical contemplations on the subject is largely responsible for ushering the position into modern day prominence. Pantheists do not celebrate a distinct personal or anthropomorphic god, but rather, accept all gods into worship, because they view god as everything. An ideological stance that can become quite problematic, to say the least.

Throughout history, pantheism has been a belief system that, in one form or another, tended to be the most common default faith practice among the many various indigenous peoples from around the globe. It’s the same ideologic methodology that the pagans of Europe used to practice; that is, before Rome came along and forced Christianity deep down into every person’s every available orifice. And you should always keep this historical fact in the forefront of your mind. Your Abrahamic belief system is the result of a Roman soldier raping someone’s great great great great grandma and grandpa with a big middle eastern theological strap-on dildo. Don’t you ever forget that. Your whole modern day spiritual life was originally founded on a theological psych-rape. Your precious sacred religion was passed down to you through your family being raped. And it’s no coincidence that Rome, an arrogant empire dead-set on conquering the entire world, found Christianity to be quite compatible with their grandiose ambitions. And that should tell you something about the core fabric of the Abrahamic cult religions.

So, pantheists believe that god is everything. All inclusive, with no exceptions. No standards or filter necessary. This includes every kind of concept; even the stupid ideas and majestic fantasies, floating around inside our heads. And this also includes every kind of object or person to have ever existed, no matter who or what they are. This means they are ALL god, whether it be a virus, a parasite or an infectious bacteria, whether it be a machine gun, cocaine or a dildo, whether John Wayne Gacy, the unabomber or Adolf Hitler, they are all but different forms of an ambiguous enigmatic god! He’s so complex, you can’t even fathom him. He’s got value and purpose so profoundly beyond your puny logic, you can’t even question him.

And not only is every kind of object or person a manifestation of god, but guess what? With pantheism, ALL the different gods, are god as well. It’s not that some gods are valid, and some gods are not, or that maybe all gods are completely full of shit, no! In fact, it actually quite the opposite, I’m afraid. Now, all different gods are actually the one same god. Every so called “god” is graciously welcomed into pantheism with open arms. Whether Yahweh, Zeus, Horace, or the great honorable bull testicle god, all of them are just different manifestations of the one same god!

Yeah. You know, when it gets right down to it, I don’t have any issue with the whole “god is everything”, bullshit, but, uh, to say the least, I think these concepts might be just a little *too* inclusive for most of the population’s tastes. They’re simply not palatable to their delicate tongue’s tender sensibilities, and they therefor much more prefer to perform oral worship on a single god head. Who am I to stop them?

But the concept of a universe is just so much better then a god, isn’t it? Yeah. It’s a better false substitution. The idea of the universe as a higher power is more soothing then the idea of a god as a higher power. This particular surrogate for the truth is just so much more secure and comforting. But in the end, it’s the same exercise. The idea that something ELSE in the field of perception is the responsible agent. In fact, most of this pantheism business just seems to be a matter of replacing the word “god” with the word “universe”, and calling this a new ideological position. Are you confused? Well, worry not! I will gladly give you a little taste, and bestow upon you three prime examples.

Quote:

“Never trust anyone completely but God. Love people, but put your full trust only in God.”

Lawrence Welk.

Nice. Which now becomes:

“Never trust anyone completely but the universe. Love people, but put your full trust only in the universe.”

Quote:

“Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God’s handwriting.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Sweet. But could also be stated:

“Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is the universe’s handwriting.”

Quote:

“Man has to start with something and then develop it - he cannot ever make anything from nothing, only God can do that, and call forth the creation.”

Margaret Weston.

Awesome. But let’s not overlook:

“Man has to start with something and then develop it - he cannot ever make anything from nothing, only the universe can do that, and call forth the creation.”

See how it works? Just about any dialogue about god could still hold water when replacing the word “god” with “the universe.” So it’s really not all that much of a novel position. It’s just a convenient one-size-fits-all philosophical cure-all. An ideological placebo. And I’m not one who is much impressed by Dues Ex philosophy, which is what any type of theology basically is, including pantheism.

For those of you not familiar with the term, “Dues Ex”, it is derived from the term “Dues Ex Machina”, a Greek phrase, which translated means, “a god from a machine”, and is usually employed as a literary device, wherein an explicitly complex seemingly intractable problem in a plot narrative is suddenly inexplicably solved by the addition of an unexpected character, object or situation. Think the eagles coming to save Frodo from uncertain doom in the fiery volcano of Mordor. Basically, it’s a cheap fast way to tie up the loose ends of a difficult quandary. It’s ideological laziness, and quite frankly, has no place in philosophy, in much the same way that theism has no place in philosophy.

And by the way, speaking of the “a god from the machine” thought experiment, it reminds me that, when it comes to gods and machines and ghosts and men, philosophers have gotten the whole thing all wrong all along. A god may emerge from a machine, but if it does, bear in mind that both the god and the machine are equally sourced from the pure mind. And this is the part people just can’t seem to understand. Though-out history, philosophers have always deeply contemplated the idea of “a ghost in the machine”, but that’s because most philosophers think they are a physical creature living in a physical environment. But it’s a huge lie. There is no ghost in the machine. What you actually have, is a machine in the ghost; as, there is no such thing as physicality, and a “deterministic mechanical universe”, is just an abstraction. What you call “physicality”, is a denser mental state; and to attribute this mind-space into an idea of objective locality is just plain falsehood. It’s just plain wrongheaded.

And it doesn’t matter if you include the “self”, as god, because this “self”, is still an attribution. The egoic character that you’ve associated an identity with, isn’t a self, so this is still in the same realm of falsehoods. Illusion is everything on the screen of perception; including the physical body, and all it’s supposed psycho-biological properties. Wherein is any universe?

So that’s pantheism; which, I’m not all that partial towards, due to it’s attributional psychology, which shares the same central backbone as orthodox religion. Why would it be any different with pantheism? The responsibility is still elsewhere, hence the power is elsewhere also; so it matters not that you’ve replaced an anthropological deity with celestial chemistry. Same excrement, different poop chute. And that’s the same reason why, that if a truth seeker were to take a purely scientific position considering the universe, it wouldn’t be all that much different then a theist or a pantheist viewpoint.

“How’s that?”

That’s right, Charlie. As previously stated, a purely cosmological scientific viewpoint; that is, the idea of the universe as some grand cosmic physical context of exterior space consisting of a mixture of different objects and chemistries, is just that: an idea. In other words, also completely full of shit. There is no “universe”, existing, anywhere. And that’s why, the universe doesn’t give it a shit about you. There’s no vibrating strings out there governing some law of attraction that brings forth metaphysical emergent properties when you energetically match a frequency. No. What you really have, is just an IDEA of a universe, which is not really located in a space-time continuum, but, only imagined as a location in a mind-space continuum.

If you can understand this basic fundamental, then you may have finally grasped one of the basic truths of reality.