#Input from people who have played the game is appreciated btw

[sheocheese]

Wanted to spend my sick days FINALLY playing Disco Elysium, see what all the fuzz is about, but sadly I Am The Way I Am and closed the game again after spending 30 minutes trying to decide on how to skill my character without coming to a satisfying decision.

[saphirered]

essek!!! honestly anything lol but maybe (i'll try to keep it vague for spoiler reasons) after ep 131 or ep 124, maybe a confession fic? if you aren't caught up just a general how a confession would go please! i love your writing and blog btw, all your caleb stuff is so 👌👌👌

Thank you for your request and yes I am caught up. I hope you enjoy this one.

Warning spoilers for Episode 124

Essek’s betrayal hit you hard. Sure you’d considered the possibility but being faced with that truth so upfront hurt, a lot. You’d been able to avoid him for the longest of times thanks to the Nein being taken in different directions. You simply couldn’t face him. After the party in Nicordanas you put on a brave face and you agreed with Caleb wholeheartedly but you didn’t have the strength to say these words yourself. Any interaction you had between then and now had been cordial and straight to the point whereas before there were plenty of pleasantries, some flirting even and the realisation your flirting was rooted within your own feelings. You’re a good enough people reader to know that his, at the very least were rooted in affection and before Nicodranas you might have seen a possible bright future for the both of you. Even after his betrayal was revealed your feelings remained but they were overshadowed by your pain. It felt like your heart was ripped from your chest. 

The trust, kindness, his affections for you, were they all just something to be exploited in a bigger plot. He said at first he was using the Nein but he grew attached so had you just been a pawn in a bigger ploy he felt sorry for? So many questions you had asked yourself over the last weeks, months even at this point and none of them you dared to answer so you didn’t. You pushed them aside and moved on. You pushed Essek out of your mind because it was easier than dealing with the pain. Pushing something away only works for so long. He’d come back into your life sooner rather than later. Aeor came closer in view and after the absolute shit show with the Tombtakers all of you were at your wits end. You didn’t want to pull anyone along into this chaos and especially not a certain wizard who’s proven himself to be prone to his desires for pursuit of knowledge and power; a thing you’d be serving on a silver platter but you really had no better options at this point.

The closer to your destination you got the more closed off you became. Face devoid of emotion and voice monotone, direct and without a single break you’d begun to mentally prepare yourself for your upcoming encounter to the point where you were seriously considering you might actually prefer another encounter with the Tombtakers over facing Essek. Your gradual shift in behaviour must have caught some attention as you quickly had a Jester at your side attempting to make happy conversation and lift your spirit and provide distraction. You tried to play along but the pitying smile from Caleb told you about how good a job you were doing. Nevermind the tiefling never quit and you could appreciate that. Jester cares and you were hurting so she did whatever she could to make it better. 

You eventually made it to the outpost and your ‘official’ mode kicked in taking over for Beau when she started butchering Undercommon. You presented yourself with an air of authority and purpose and that seemed to do the job very well. And there he was in all his miserable glory putting on a similar face as yours. He was caught off guard by Jester running in and hugging him and while he looked at you his eyes quickly avoided. Even though the conversations that followed you had no problem looking at him, sure he could feel your eyes burning but your gaze remained cold and distant; the way he had seen you face an enemy and the way you study when in company you don’t trust, watching the danger like a hawk for every single twitch. In this conversation it was very clear he had a hard time keeping eye contact but he was straight up avoiding both you and Caleb and you could put two and two together; shame. He was ashamed of everything he did and caused that much was sure. 

In a more private setting without the continuous presence of Dynasty soldiers the Nein told him everything that had occurred the past few weeks and slowly but surely his facade faltered, the gravity of the situation kicking in and him contemplating, taking in all the information you provided. You didn’t speak to him directly and only gave your input when it came to queries among the Nein having nothing to add directed at Essek. 

“I’ve spent so much of my life focussed on myself, my climb, all of my selfish needs. I’ve never really been trusted and so I did not trust. And I never let anyone close. I have been clouded in my judgement many times for a lot of my life. When I- when you gave me trust, it gave me a perspective that was so agonisingly striking. So easy to see that I refused to acknowledge it at first, even. I would be lying if I said that our paths crossing hasn’t shaken me to the core and I’m appreciative and thankful for this perspective, but you do not owe me trust for what I’ve done.” Those words hit hard and you found yourself biting down on your lip to prevent yourself from speaking. All the feelings you tried to push away so hard came back up and you were fighting to hold them at bay to prevent yourself from saying something you’d regret. Luckily the others jumped in allowing you to keep your silence. 

The conversation continued and Caleb made some good points making sure to make eye contact with you every so often to make sure you were alright and in agreement. You were interrupted after the mentions of Dagen and some shouting outside. You’d say you were surprised but really you weren’t though the sight of the man holding onto one of the Aurora Watch soldiers while presenting the letter he was told to deliver was quite the sight and made you quickly cover up a snort. Not quick enough apparently as some did catch on. Eventually back inside Jester began to insinuate Caleb should show the red eyes on his skin but you quickly shut that down, the first words you had spoken since you got here.

“What are we talking about?” Essek asks confused. 

“Nothing you need concern yourself with.” Your words were colder than you intended but got the message across clear it seemed. They quickly shifted the subject back to Lucien, Aeor, the Somnovum, Vess being indisposed, gathering further allies until you landed on possibly considering bringing Astrid and Eadwulf into this opposed to Trent himself it was revealed or more like confirmed Essek had had dealings with the man in the past, persuading you all not to go to the Assembly. And because Veth slipped up you had to come clean about Vess’ actual state; dead in the hands of Lucien who killed her without as much as the blink of an eye. You were very much aware he was on the brink of a mental breakdown and you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. 

Hot cocoa was passed around and you did not refuse Beau’s offer of a good pour of whiskey while the conversation continued in regards to the Beacons and some choice of words and theories around the Beacons that could be considered sacrilege among the Dynasty. You were planning out the delve into the ruins Essek suggesting it would be best to go your separate ways until you were ready to traverse Aeor. The conversation ends and you are about to go your separate ways bedding down for the night until you would travel to gather allies and supplies. Caleb stays at your side aware of how you’re handling things but he stops with you before you leave catching Essek by the forearm. 

“Breathe. Just.. breathe that fresh air mindful of the people about. Time. Time. Not weeks. Not years. It takes time.” He was speaking to Essek but you knew the words were directed at you as well. For the first time you deliberately meet eyes looking over your shoulder as you join the rest of the Nein. You were lead to a reasonably sized room, small for all of you but much more preferable to the ice and snow outside. You take time to settle down and eventually sit down with Beau and Caleb.

“I don’t trust any of this.” You tell them hugging your knees to your chest. 

“I’m with you. It’s just too much. Too many risks. To many cards not yet in play that could shake this whole game up.” Beau agrees. 

“But we have to make a choice and Essek is our safest and most certain bet. Every option is risky.”  Caleb has a point and it’s one you’ve been using to justify and be at peace with all of this. 

“I’m afraid that he’s going to realise the pressure is too much and he’ll bolt. Or the Assembly catches up to him before we get back and they’ll rat him out but my biggest concern right now is for the Tombtakers to travel faster than we’re expecting. What if they get here? Our advantage will be gone.” The rest of the Nein having turned into the conversation had to agree with you there. If your or Essek’s enemies somehow got involved you’d be screwed. 

“You got a point. So how do we solve this? Essek said it’s best to go our separate ways until we got our stuff sorted so we can’t really stick around and we’d still be traceable if we split up. It’s a risk we’ll have to take as it’s the safest for both of us now.” Beau contemplates trying to formulate a better plan. You already had a plan and you didn’t like it for one minute but it was all you got.

“I know how we solve this. You give me the amulet and I stay behind. That way they can’t scry on me as long as I’m here. They can scry on us when we’re together anyway and with only one amulet we’re not going to get very far. You gather everything we need, get whatever help we can get and come back here when you’re ready to leave.” You can hardly believe your own mind could make the decision regardless of your personal opinions. 

“And you’re okay staying behind with Essek to keep an eye on him? What if Lucien and his gang shows up?” 

“Beau, I’ll manage. My personal feelings don’t matter in the bigger picture for now. I can get over myself. As for the Tombtakers, Essek’s gonna be a fat load of good when he can’t use his magic. If they get here before you return I’ll get him out of here and to Aeor myself if I have to. Can’t defeat them but I sure as hell can outrun them for a while.” You assured them, a couple of nods and attempts to protest eventually resulted in the agreement. You’d stay behind. One final rest and everyone would be finishing their unfinished business, say their goodbyes and hellos, get their closure and prepare for the worst. Yet you couldn’t see yourself anywhere but here. Sure you wanted to be there for your friends but they could do without you. You were needed here so maybe your own unfinished business had to conclude right here where you are. 

You said your goodbyes and the Nein were off leaving you alone in the makeshift chamber. You inhale deeply and exhale slowly counting to ten in your head and leave the room. The back of your mind tells you this was a mistake and you definitely couldn’t do this but there’s no way back now so you put on your brave face and make your way to Essek’s chambers. In front of the door you wait, count to ten again and put on your brave face before you knock on the door. The door swings open.

“Y/n. I was not expecting to see you. Please come in.” He speaks glancing around you for any of the guard that could possibly hear him. The moment you force yourself to enter the door closes behind you and you can see him deflate just a little, all manner of composure dropping for a moment before he looks up at you from behind his desk. Up front he may appear composed once more but his eyes tell a different story. Panic, surprise, questions, fear and shame. 

“Have you come to say goodbye?” A slight break of his voice at the last word. Oh Essek you really dropped the ball haven’t you, you think to yourself. 

“No actually. I came to tell you the others have left and I’ll be staying behind.” He goes to protest getting up from his seat. Fear, concern and something you can’t identify peak through. 

“So unless you’re planning to take me to wherever they have gone yourself resulting in you having to get back here with all the potential risks you’ve priorly described, I’m staying here and there’s nothing you can do about it so suck it up, darling.” You mentally kick yourself for using that last word. You didn’t mean to but you slipped up falling back in old habits. 

“You’re putting yourself at great risk by staying here so please let me take you back to the others.” He comes closer to you and you stay your ground. 

“Sorry. Not going to happen, Essek. I’m staying. I can’t be scried upon so I’ll be fine.” 

“There’s many more dangers than the risk of being scried upon.” 

“Which ones would you be referring to? The assassins after you? Or maybe the risk of you being discovered? The person who sent the assassins getting antsy and exposing you to the Dynasty?Being a traitor to your nation and a catalyst in a bigger plot you have no control over? The Tombtakers and their shenanigans? Literally anything to do with Aeor? The alleged death and or plotting of the demise of extremely powerful mages? Keeping secrets and being prepared to find or create a scapegoat to cover up the fact that the peace agreement between two nations which is already hanging by a single thread was based on the lies and deceit of another? Or perhaps it’s your uncanny ability to pursuit the path to your own destruction and your terrible sense of judgement and eye for consequences? Oh or maybe the fact that if we don’t stop all of this the world like we know it will possibly come to an end and we’ll could just end up dealing with yet another Calamity scale event? Take your pick because I’m pretty sure I’m already involved in what? All of them? But please be my guest and pick one!” You lost all composure you had but the more you talk the more you realise you couldn’t keep all of this pent up. It does you no good. 

“My apologies. I won’t ask for your forgiveness as-“ You cut him off. You’re on a roll so you’re gonna get this over with while you’re at it; speak your mind openly without restrained.

“Yet you still have it! For some stupid reason I find it within myself to forgive you for all horrible thing you’ve done but the one; I can’t seem to get over the fact you betrayed my trust. That you didn’t trust me when it mattered and that I was nothing but a pawn in your game and you discarded the trust I put in you so easily.” You can feel your voice crack multiple times throughout your words and you curse yourself for doing so. Essek looks at his feet lips tightly pushed together. 

“Perhaps my expectations were too high.” You spat about to storm out of the room but the door remained closed.

“Essek let me go.” You glared at him. He couldn’t even give you that? A departure with dignity before you broke down?

“You’ve said your part I think it’s only fair I say mine. Though if you wish to leave I won’t hold you here. You’re free to set foot where you please. I know I have no right to but I ask only a moment.” You brace yourself already mentally kicking yourself for coming to this decision so quickly and not even being able to tell yourself why you shouldn’t.

“Fine. I’ll hear what you have to say.” You cross your arms and take a few steps back in his direction.

“From the moment I’ve met you I’ve been captivated by you but I simply couldn’t get over myself and admit to myself that maybe what I’m doing isn’t worth the collateral. You made me feel guilt and regret but I pushed that aside because I there was no way back from what I had already set into motion. I meant what i said, I have grown attached to your little group and I would even go as far as to call them friends something I haven’t been able to call anyone. Not truly without ulterior motives. But you’ve always been something more. I know I will repent for my sins but I will not drag you down that path with me. I love you too much to allow that to happen. So I beg of you, do not put yourself at risk for my sake.” Finally he looks at you without looking away or avoiding your direct gaze. 

“I refuse to let you become collateral in my actions. No matter how much I want you at my side I know you simply cannot be and I have come to accept that. Please grant me the dignity of excluding you from my own demise.” 

“What you want and what you get are two very different things Essek.” You definitely heard the proclamation of love but it was said in the heat of the moment so you let it go for now choosing to ignore it. 

“Believe me I am very much aware. Just as I am aware I have ruined what we had and perhaps even the chance of one day earning your love should you ever give it to me. While I may wish I could change the past I would never change meeting you and the moments we shared. The mere thought of your smile makes me feel a fraction of your warmth in this cold wasteland and I could die a happy man should it be the last thing I see. I believe my worst fear to have come true when it became clear I may never see that smile of yours again. I cannot deny my feelings for you so I won’t and I will assure you I am honest and open when I say that I love you. I’d rather say it now before we both walk into our deaths when we set foot in those ruins.”

“I know I have no right to and I will admit I am a selfish man when I hope you will at least tell me that you might have shared my feelings were the circumstances different.” His feet touch the ground and he studies you for any response but finds none. 

“You are a fool. Hopeless. You are selfish and hardly ever look out for anyone but yourself. You would betray anyone if it were to further your own interests or save your own hide. You’d sacrifice anything and anyone to get what you want, price be damned.” You begin stepping closer to him and you can see him break just a little on the inside.

“That’s what I want to believe but I simply can’t. My own mind argues against all the things it reasonably tries to claim you to be. Yes you are a fool but you are also one of the cleverest and most intriguing people I’ve ever met. You’re not hopeless. You are selfish but your selfishness knows boundaries as displayed by your guilt and regret and shame. You would betray anyone but only if it meant you it allowed you to save what you care about and you’d sacrifice anything and everything to protect it. But I still wonder. Was it worth it? Making the choices you did was it worth putting yourself in this place?” 

“No. Most of the results while desired were not worth the cost.” Again the guilt and shame rises. 

“Then you have learned. So I will give you what you need; my honestly. We both know that these flirtations we’ve had are more than just that. Back then I could have seen a future where you and I could have had something beautiful but I will also admit I have not seen the same thing ever since our last meeting. I do not see a future not because my feelings for you have disappeared but simply because it is unpredictable. It’s fickle much like the Dunamancy you study. And that’s exactly how a future should be, right? Uncertain and unpredictable. What we’re walking into is just that. So if we do make it out alive I’m sure that future will be much clearer once we’re no longer on the brink of destruction.” You step up close enough and put a hand on his cheek making him look you in the eye.

“I don’t understand.” He begins.

“Let me spell it out for you.” You move your lips closer to his and when he doesn’t pull away you place your lips on his in a chaste kiss. 

“Do you get it now?” You say as you pull apart. 

“I think I may need another explanation to make sure I caught that right.” He stumbles a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks so you oblige and kiss him again. 

“I love you.” You say leaning your forehead against his. 

“I love you too.” Both of you laugh taking in the craziness of the situation. You went from being upset to arguing to honesty and a confession of love. This truly must be something recorded in some romance novel in Jester’s collection. Ridiculous but true.

“You may be a fool Essek Thelyss, but you are my fool and don’t you forget.” 

[silver-wield]

I dont understand why aerith only abused cloud and not the other characters, whats her motive? have you ever been abused or at least know someone who was? can you also tell me more about aerith’s character? she’s the one i know the least so i would appreciate the enlightenment

Following on from this

Did I say Aerith was abusive or that her actions were? Because Aerith's not an abusive character, but she does things that harm others because of certain reasons. Also, some of my earlier comments about chapter 8 and Aerith's behaviour are before I learned more about her pov motivation, so it's only taken from Cloud's pov. Which I have no regrets about. I prefer Cloud over Aerith.

Cloud just got the brunt of things because he spent longer with her. The way Aerith assumes she knows everyone and that her way is best does harm others because it shows she doesn't respect their opinions or value them as individuals who behave differently to how she expects. She doesn't really know everyone, she just thinks she does because she knows info she shouldn't. But, vague information from the lifestream or wherever she got it doesn't form a complete picture. It also doesn't replace actual relationship development. She's trying to run before she can crawl.

From Aerith's pov, she's doing good. She's not intentionally abusive to people. She's poorly socialised, bossy and been treated as special since she was a child. She's got no frame of reference in how to have healthy relationships with people. She had no friends as a kid and none later. Kyrie was a bad influence on her and not a true friend. She's never had a true friend and only Zack loved her besides her moms. Her dad died when she was a baby, so she doesn't remember him. She's basically a spoiled child expecting to get what she wants and then can't accept the truth when it doesn't match her expectations.

From the others povs she's withholding vital information, treating them like they can't do things without her input and acting like she's the leader, despite just meeting everyone. Since what she's asking them to help with is saving the planet and Avalanche are self proclaimed protectors, and Cloud and Tifa are Sephiroth's enemies they won't refuse. Red agrees because his race are more attuned to the planet anyway. It's part of who he is to help protect it.

It's a matter of emotional maturity. Tifa has the most of the younger characters and currently, Aerith wavers between her OG immaturity and her meta knowledge which gives her unearned wisdom, but she doesn't know how to apply that wisdom, so just comes off bossy.

Cloud doesn't know how to deal with conflict except to beat it senseless and doesn't know how to deal with women, except to be a passive dummy when most of them manhandle him. He also doesn't want anything to do with any woman romantically except Tifa, which is why he's always touching her and flirting.

Cloud knows that Tifa reacts badly when people she cares about are in danger, so he's trying to keep her calm. Since Aerith interrupts immediately after this we don't know what the conclusion of this would be if Cloud was allowed to continue speaking. Most likely, he'd suggest getting back to sector 7, too, because he already agreed with her they need to go when he woke her up before the Abzu battle. Tifa respects Cloud's opinion and military background, so that's why she's asking his advice.

By jumping in and alarming Tifa, Aerith has actually caused harm because it's put her in an anxious state, which we see escalating throughout the sewers.

Cloud kept Tifa calm and focused. Aerith has done the opposite. Because she thinks she knows best.

Having put Tifa in a more anxious state than she was earlier, Aerith now withholds information, which breaks trust between them.

This harms Tifa. She now has to worry about Aerith's true motives as well as sector 7. Tifa avoids confronting her suspicions because she's non-confrontational by nature. And Aerith could be innocent and Tifa's imagining everything.

It's not a healthy state of mind Aerith's encouraged.

Aerith has observed how Tifa is with Cloud and deliberately baits her, which causes harm to Tifa.

Aerith's motives aren't the focus here and I've explained from her pov she's helping, but from Tifa's pov, this girl she just met is trying to take the guy she's liked since she was 13.

The look on Aerith's face is playful, but Tifa's isn't. She looks unhappy. With Aerith. She thought they were becoming friends and then Aerith does this.

And as I said, it's worth noting this is different to the JP scene where Tifa is just worried and Aerith's teasing her to try and improve her mood. So, this scene was deliberately played up to highlight a negative behaviour from Aerith and provoke Tifa.

Aerith never explains why Barret can't do things. She just orders everyone around and expects them to listen, but she doesn't listen to them.

Even when asked, she doesn't say anything, and this is harming the entire party. Just because we know the plot doesn't make what she's doing okay. She knows about Sephiroth and doesn't warn anyone beforehand. So, later when Cloud and Tifa see him in the drum, they're not prepared.

This adds to everyone's suspicion about Aerith.

Suspicious Aerith

Suspicious Aerith 2

See, the thing is, if someone is suspicious then you can't trust them. And trust is a big factor in relationships. By making herself untrustworthy by lying and acting in a suspicious way, Aerith isn't fulfilling one of the basic cornerstones of a good relationship.

Four cornerstones of a strong relationship: Tifa

Four cornerstones of a strong relationship: Cloud

Respect

Aerith shows she doesn't respect Tifa's opinion about Cloud and dismisses her valid concerns. She redirects to ask about her instead, which Tifa brushes off. The girls don't have a lot of conversation in the drum, which shows they're not that close or that Tifa doesn't trust her enough to chat after the sewers. Tifa has chosen to remain focused.

From Aerith's pov, ignoring Cloud shows she's not interested in him, but Tifa is and is worried and wanted reassurance, which Aerith didn't provide.

Honesty

During their first interaction, Aerith lies to Cloud several times, and keeps lying throughout the game, either by omission or outright lying.

Aerith lies about knowing the Turks, while knowing how dangerous they are.

A person who lies isn't someone who can be trusted. This is why Cloud and Tifa are suspicious of Aerith, even up to the end battle where Sephiroth speaks from behind Aerith and Cloud gives her a suspicious look. Because Aerith's own behaviour combines with Sephiroth's motives. If Aerith hadn't made herself suspicious then Sephiroth wouldn't be as effective here.

Trust

Cloud shakes his head here. He knows Aerith doesn't trust them because she keeps lying. See how things connect? Aerith lies, it makes her untrustworthy and affects people's relationships with her in a negative way.

Cloud agrees to go fetch Aerith because he knows what Shinra are like, isn't an asshole, feels obligated and Elmyra literally orders him to "bring her back to me" after he gets permission to go. Which is why it's listed as operation: save Aerith in the story summary.

Friendship

And as for friendship, well both Barret and Tifa call Aerith "our friend" but Cloud says "a friend" to mayor Domino and then later when he says "our friend" to the guy outside the battle sim, all of them are framed. But, when he said "a friend" to mayor Domino only Cloud was framed. This suggests that to Cloud Aerith isn't a friend.

So, Aerith fails to satisfy the basic cornerstones of a good relationship with others. That's not saying she's a bad person or has bad motives, but currently she's not in good standing.

As for her behaviour in sector 5 with Cloud, from her pov, her actions weren't bad either.

The protagonist Cloud, who played the hero like Zack, is the unforgettable protagonist of FFVII. The beginning of the story, he seems cool, but in reality he is not good with communication and feels less than he is. “I wanted to be in SOLIDER, but I couldn’t.” Because he wanted to hide himself (because of Zack's death and the Nibelheim incident), the Jenova cells that were planted in him in Nibelheim formed a personality that were based on Zack’s memories. In CC, Cloud was weak but he was influenced by Zack. In the beginning of the story, Cloud takes on the title of “Zack”. Aerith was shocked when she meets Cloud due to him mirroring Zack in behavior.

That's a rough translation, but the fact is Aerith saw Zack in Cloud from their first meeting and that's why she chased after him in chapter 2. This is the CC ultimania, BTW, and it's getting a reprint, so the info in it is canon to Remake because the devs advised players to read more compilation materials. This is one of them.

Her motives aren't bad, but we can't only see things from her pov. Other people matter too. Cloud wasn't happy with her throughout chapter 8 because of her behaviour. Her motives don't factor into his feelings because she never reveals why she's doing it. Even if she did explain, it doesn't excuse her ignoring how Cloud feels.

Because Aerith is using Cloud as a prop for Zack it does harm her relationship with him and others. In the chapter 9 Corneo's dungeon conversation we can see Tifa notices Cloud isn't happy with Aerith suggesting they stay and get info out of Corneo. His reaction colors her opinion of Aerith later when he wakes her in the sewers. That's why she asks how he knows her because he doesn't seem to be acting like they're friends as Aerith claimed.

And Aerith isn't treating Cloud like he's Cloud through a lot of chapter 8 and 9 and only pulls back when they meet up with Tifa.

So much zerith

And by deluding herself, Aerith gets to be with Zack again, which she alludes to in her resolution when she says she's grateful to Cloud and he made her more happy than he knows. Because she got to pretend she spent one more day with Zack. But, then she shatters her own delusion by telling Cloud that any potential feelings he might have in the future are fake. Because Cloud's persona is fake. He's not Zack.

In the OG, Aerith's GS date alludes to Cloud's fake persona too, but she says she wants to meet the real him. She doesn't say that here. She ignores Cloud again, and by doing so answers his question in that he doesn't get a say because she's not listening to him. Because she doesn't care.

And when the party reaches her in chapter 16, it's even more clear that Aerith has set aside her delusions in favour of building better relationships with the other characters. She's more invested in Red, Tifa and Barret than she is Cloud.

However, it's an uphill struggle with Tifa because of the previous behaviour she exhibited.

See how things circle back? Aerith made herself suspicious, Tifa loses trust in her and that affects their relationship later so that Tifa is less likely to confide in her. She's being Tifa Lockhart. And we know Tifa can open up with those she really trusts because she does with Cloud. Because they have a strong set of cornerstones to their relationship.

So, from Aerith's pov, it's not abuse because she has some very good reasons for treating Cloud and others the way she does. She's aware of some future events and knows about Sephiroth and she also deluded herself into thinking Cloud was Zack.

But, because they don't know her motives it does actually harm the relationships between her and them. Even Red seems to mistrust her because he knows some of what she was up to with the whispers, as stated during the opening of chapter 17 where he explains the whispers purpose and looks right at Aerith when he mentions people tampering with fate.

But, this is what character development is for. Aerith needs to grow as a person and not just in power. So, I expect a lot of her more childish traits like being overly bossy and not having any listening skills will be addressed in future parts.

[random-mha-thoughts]

Eyes (Shinsou x Reader)

Pairing: Shinsou x fem! Reader

Genre: Spice

Summary: Shinsou isn’t happy about going out to billiards on a Friday night (he’d rather be home sleeping), and he’s really not appreciating all the attention you’re gathering.

Word count: 2,378

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ 

a/n: I wrote about 800 words in reader’s POV, then deleted the whole thing because it wasn’t interesting enough and rewrote it in Shinsou’s POV, but I’m still not feeling it.  I know I promised this yesterday, but I’m bleeding out my entire uterus and I’m in pain everywhere and I was in no mood/headspace to write anything spicy (tbh I’m still not, but I’m trying my damn best for you guys).  I still hope you guys enjoy it!

I got the idea because I went to a pol hall with my friends for the first time a few weeks ago and I was feeling myself Oh how far I have fallen now

Btw characters are all aged up to the legal drinking age bc we support responsible drinking in this house.  Enjoy!

Shinsou was less than thrilled with the idea of going to a billiards hall on a Friday night.  He didn't even know why his girlfriend was so keen on going when she doesn't enjoy going out that often and doesn't know how to play pool.  Wouldn't it be better to just cuddle up in bed after a long week of classes?  He certainly thinks so, he gives amazing cuddles.

He was even less enthusiastic when she walked into his dorm in a tight fitting, cropped, black sweater, skin tight leather pants, and heeled boots.  There's no way he would let her walk out of there where other guys could drool over even that small amount of skin showing and banging body.

She's nobody else's but his and he's not sharing.

He couldn't say that, of course, because he knows how stubborn his kitty is and she wouldn't change anyway, and he doesn't want to come off as being too overbearing.  Besides, she's way too excited at the prospect of going out.  Shinsou knows she just recently turned the legal drinking age and has been looking forward to going out drinking for the first time, and he'd hate to put a damper on her fun over some outfit.  And she has a right to dress however she wants without his input.  So he played it cool and sucked it up.

But now, he's regretting keeping his mouth shut.  Even though the two of them arrived together holding hands, some guys don't know how to keep their eyes to themselves.  His girlfriend casually drinks at the bar with Ashido and Yaoyorozu, laughing and having their own conversation, while he notices other guys from nearby tables scanning her up and down.  It makes him want to walk over there and punch the daylight out of them.

"Are you good, dude?  Do you want a drink?" Kirishima offers the stiff boy, observing his intense stare.

"I'm fine, I don't drink," the purple haired boy dismisses.  Not only would he have to look after his girlfriend tonight, but he doesn't want to chance the alcohol amplifying his aggression and he ends up punching someone in the face.  He doesn't want her to be disappointed in him for ruining her fun.

The red-haired boy leans back against the wall, taking a swig from his beer.  "Let me guess.  Your beautiful girlfriend is out there having a good time and you're worried about any unwanted guests touching the merchandise."

Shinsou quietly nods.  "Is that bad?  It's not that I don't trust her or anything-"

"No, you have every right to feel that way, it has nothing to do with trust," Kirishima waves off.  "There are some really unmanly guys out there.  I'd be wary too."

"Kaminari already tried putting the moves on her."  The boy recalls the moment they arrived the the hall.  The lightening boy was just coming back from getting drinks and he immediately wrapped an arm around her and slurred, "Lookin' good, hot stuff."  Shinsou was about to knock him out right there and then.  "If he wasn't my friend, I would've punched him."

"Yeah, but Denki's just a pervy drunk, he knows better than to mess with you," Kiri laughs heartily.

"He better."

The girls finally return from the bar as Bakugou, Todoroki, Midoriya, and Tokoyami finish up their game.  "We call next!" Ashido announces, grabbing a few pool sticks from the rack.

Shinsou's girlfriend slides into place next to him, he automatically wraps his arm around her protectively.  His heart can't help but soften at how smiley she looks.  "You doing okay?" she asks in his ear.

He gets a whiff of her vanilla scent in her neck.  "I'm fine," he responds in the same fashion, the music slightly annoying him for being too loud.

She takes a sip of her drink and grips his arm.  "I'm playing next, do you wanna team up with me?"

He shakes his head.  "You go have fun, I'll cheer you on from here."

Shinsou can't miss the slight fall of her face.  "Okay.  Don't be too lonely without me."  She kisses his cheek and follows Ashido to the table.

"I don't think the guys oogling her is the problem here," Kirishima chides.  "Pretty sure she would like it if you just spent some time with her."

The boy rubs the back of his head.  "I'm not the best at pool.  She'd lose if she were with me."

"That's not the point!  She's having fun, just look at her!"  Kirishima loops an arm around Shinou's shoulders and points his bottle at his girlfriend.

She's bent over the table opposite them aiming her shot, one eye squinting, her nose scrunched up, biting her lip.  Shinsou swears he feels his heart melt right there.  Even as she stands back up to follow the ball across the table, the twinkle in her eyes and the smile on her face makes him feel lighter.

Bakugou, her teammate, high fives her for the shot, breaking Shinsou out of his trance.  "Of course she had to be with that idiot," he mumbles.

"Uh, thanks, dude," the redhead deadpans from next to him.

"No offense to you, I just never warmed up to him."

They sit back, watching their partners play the game.  During the next round, Shinsou tilts his head when his girlfriend bends over the table.  "I see why people play this game now," he comments, getting an eyeful of her sweetly rounded backside.  Those pants do look good on her, he thinks as the blood rushes downward.

And he's not the only one who thinks so.  In his peripheral vision, he notices some of the guys at the table next to them staring as well.  He doesn't need to use his quirk to figure out what they're thinking.  Eventually, the boys feel Shinsou's eyes drilling into them, only to turn around when they meet his murderous gaze.

"People in relationships really shouldn't though," he grumbles.

"Oh come on, dude.  Don't let a few outsiders get in the way of enjoying the show."  Kirishima himself is enjoying the view of his boyfriend's ass in his jeans.

Between turns, Shinsou watches his girlfriend have herself a good time, slowly taking her drinks, talking to her girls, dancing, and taking videos.  He enjoys the view, in more ways than one, especially the one time she had to take a behind-the-back shot and she had to prop a leg up on the table for leverage (He doesn't want to admit it, but he's a man, after all).

The second time he catches eyes hungrily staring at his girl, he almost goes up to them for a "talk," but Sero and Kirishima stop him.  She's not even doing much except swaying her hips casually to the music, but he still curses her lovely body proportions for attracting all the tempted eyes in the room.

He can't take it anymore.  After a third time, he pulls her aside and away from everyone else.

"Hitoshi, you're hurting me, let go."  Her voice is stern, so he obliges, but the dormant anger still bubbles inside him.  "You're really annoying me today, what's going on?"  The distaste is apparent on her features, a harsh contrast from what she looked like before.

Shinsou knows she's just had a few drinks, so he can't afford to make her too emotional.  "Can you just stand near me for the rest of the night?" he asks gently.

She scoffs, "So suddenly now you want to be near me?  Kirishima isn't fun enough to talk to?"

He closes his eyes and takes a breath.  "There are guys staring at you and I don't like it, okay?"  He's trying to keep his voice steady.

"Let them!" she throws her arms up exaggeratedly, accompanied by a dry laugh, "I'm not here to get another man when I have one right here!  Even though he's being kind of a spoilsport."

She takes a step closer to Shinsou and pulls him by the collar of his denim jacket.  "I love you and everything, but I'm here to have some fun.  If they get turned on by that, I really don't care.  You should trust me enough to know I can take care of them if they try to makes moves on me."  Her breath puffs against his face, and he can practically taste the alcohol in it.

When she let's go of him and strolls off back to the table, Shinsou let's out the breath he didn't know he was holding.  He'd be lying if he said he wasn't the least bit turned on by her attitude and rough handling of him.

When he returns back to the table, his lovely girlfriend is already bent over, about to sink the 8 ball and win the game.  As she does so, she's singing the song playing in the hall speakers and dancing, but it's more obvious the way she swings her hips that she's doing it purposefully.  On the beat, she shoots, the ball ricochets off the edge of the table, and lands in the hole, making everyone around her cheer in victory.  Mina and Jirou join her little victory dance, garnering the attention of all the guys at the other table.

As the song changes, she looks straight at Shinsou, freezing him in place before smirking and sauntering right up to him.

Oh, I'm in danger now.

His heart pounds as she finally approaches him and stops right in front of him.  "You wanted me to stay right near you, right?" she questions, innocence dripping from her voice but her eyes hold a mischievous glint.  Shinsou doesn't know how to answer that, only swallowing hard as she turns around so her back faces him.  "Just relax, baby.  No one's gonna bother us anymore."

His breath hitches when she resumes swinging to the music, only she's brushing some particularly sensitive areas.  Shinsou's stiff as a board, the only thing registering is the slight sweeping against his pants and blood rushing.  His girlfriend, on the other hand, acts like nothing is happening, sipping her drink like this situation is the most normal thing in the world.

The poor boy clenches his jaw, his stomach tossing as she leans into him just a little more so her back meets his chest.  He places his hands on her hips to make her stop.  "Kitty, stand still, please."  His voice comes out more restrained than he intended.

"I just wanna dance, is that so wrong?"

He curses under his breath, eyes darting around wildly.  With the blood rushing in his ears, the light seems just a tad too much for him, and it's suddenly boiling hot in the hall.  The rest were setting up for a new game, nobody minding what'd going on in front of him, or what's slowly growing in his pants.

Shinsou looks to Kirishima for some sort of help, only to see the boy trying not to laugh and announcing to play the next game.

Harsher pressure on his groin calls his attention back.  His girlfriend holds his hands with her delicate one as she moves them further around her, allowing him to pull her into his body more.  The dizzying scent of her perfume fills Shinsou's nose, burying his face into her neck to groan out.

"Song's almost over, don't worry," she singsongs, slowly rotating her hips in small circles.

He can't take the strain or the pressure anymore.  The growing sensation keeps building in the pit of his stomach like a slowly tightening knot.  He dares a glance up, noticing for a split second that the same watchers at the next table have their eyes on them.

"Kitty," Shinsou growls, a new excitement planted in his mind at the thought of them observing the show, something like victory.

His beloved firecracker spins around and leans herself flush against him, a knee between his legs as she traps him against the wall with her small frame.  He's stunned at her boldness, unable to formulate words before she pulls him in for an aggressive kiss.  Her lips taste of biting alcohol and sweet cranberry juice.  At this point, he's been wound up and would take any chance to attack her too, leading him to grip her waist and close any remaining space between them.  She pulls his face closer, one hand cupping his neck and the other grabbing the back of his head, their lips colliding with heightened fervor and tempo.  He separates them to catch his breath, but she captures his bottom lip in her teeth and tugs, eliciting another groan from him.

Her thumb swipes the swollen lip she just bit and she smirks.  "Do you think I gave them a good enough show of who my man is?"

Shinsou chuckles and kisses her again, less ferocious as his desire was quelled for a moment.  "I think they know you're clearly taken now."

She loops her arms around his neck.  "And are you more at ease now?"  The mischief is gone from her now, only left with affection and care.

He knocks their foreheads together.  "Yes, I'm fine now."  His face heats up then.  "I'm just a little embarrassed now.  We don't usually do this in public."

She turns back around, leaning back into his chest again.  "It was for good reason this time.  We don't have to do it again if you're not comfortable."

Shinsou laces his fingers together at her tummy and rests his chin on her shoulder.  "If anyone else had seen us, I might've been more ashamed."  A chaste kiss right below her ear.  "That's the most I'm willing to do."

Her fingers entwine with his large ones.  "I'm sorry I was being stubborn earlier, I should've listened to you when you were uncomfortable."

"We got some fun out of it, didn't we?" he whispers dangerously low in her ear.  "Maybe we should come out more often."

She quirks an eyebrow.  "Never thought I'd hear you say that, but okay.  And next time, you're actually playing instead of standing around pouting."

"Who says I was pouting?"

His girlfriend cranes her neck to look him in the eyes.  "Babe, tell me you weren't going to throw hands at someone today."

"...No comment."

[mhall070]

MY SUPER SMASH BROS STORY

I first played super smash bros in 08, when brawl was new. It belonged to my mom's ex's nephew's friend, me my brother my mom's ex's nephew and his brother all played for countless hrs (funny with the 4 of us it really was super smash BROTHERS). Now I first played smash before I new what smash was so it was really just a fighting game with a bunch of familiar faces to it. My mane was Mr game & watch I only played him because he was visually the most impressive character (being flat and all), my brother played snake because he was a solder the nephew would play sonic and his brother would play rob cuz he looked like wall e.

Unfortenently this fun would not last for I had forgotten all about it in the 3 yrs it was absent from my life. 3 yrs later in the last month of of middle school I did not rediscover smash but it was first introduced to me. It was super smash bros 64 I fell in love instantly with its bizzar game play and mechanics, but most importantly with the characters and settings. The first character I played was jigglypuff because no one else played her and she was the only unlocked character. The connection with jigglypuff and I was strong and would be indefinite because she was so quirky and fun, I enjoyed being a nuance to my friends while having my ass handed to me. Note ssb64 is when I first met my partner so you could say smash is a love story. After a while I new I had to own this game so I asked my mom for super smash bros, yep those were my words, I never specified I wanted ssb64. On my next birth bay I received a videogame as my gift it was super smash bros brawl (in my opinion the most ambitious game in the series). As I played through with my brother we shuffled through an onslaut of options like music choices and modes like saving photos and replays it was amazing, and don't get me started with subspace emissary. The story mode was almost to much fun being so dramatic and hilarious, it really was something to behold. In super smash bros brawl there were a few more characters I found I had a great fondness for. They were Zelda & sheik, falco, marth, and the ice climbers whom I would not learn were from the previous instalment for some time and the newcomers were zero suit samus, Lucas, pit, toon link, and rob. It was also brawl that introduced me to my favorite video game franchises, like metroid, star fox, zelda, and f zero. When we first returned to the fighter select screen a memory from the past suddenly changed the way I looked at this game series. My life was suddenly just like the entangled crossover mess that was the game, it was like meeting an old friernd who had always been there, and it was then I decided super smash bros was the greatest video gaming experience of my life. Not long after completing brawl I discovered super smash bros melee instantly I new I had to own it, so I bought a copy and a GameCube cuz I didnt own one. It took me a stupid long time to unlock every character and stage (melee stages explained). I was surprised to learn that some characters in melee didn't make it to brawl, only one of wich I really fall in love with. Roy was one of many characters that were sadly cut from the next instalment. And I mean clones they were everywhere in melee and all but absent from from brawl. As for other characters I grew especially fond of the ice climbers and their gimmicky play style. Unfortunately super smash bros melee modes were a bit lackluster compared to brawl. Say for adventure mode wich was surprisingly deep, it really made you feel as if you were traversing through the games the characters belong to, unlike subspace emissary. But where I believe super smash bros melee really shines is in its game play and mechanics. It feels like a movie hopping around with explosions and lightning fast movements and it's technical input options that make the competitive scene so alluring (I'm a casual player BTW), unlike brawl wich is slow and sloppy and ssb64 wich in my opinion is worse. All things considered it is perhaps the most well put together game in the series.

Some time later super smash bros for Wii u and 3ds was announced, I was shocked, I believed ssbb was to be the last game in the series. I couldn't believe it, smash for handheld and home it was unreal. The first installment in the series I could truly enjoy the hype for, it was fun aside from being a skeptic of all the leaks that would later turn out to be true. First I shall say I accurately predicted paluteana would be a playable character, second the biggest surprise was definently pac-man (didn't think he'd  be possible), and third I was crushed to learn ice climbers would not make the cut because of the 3ds and I'd resent it for that reason. Not only that but I new the 3ds version would be inferior so I waited for the Wii u version. I stood out side the game store late at midnight to get my copy early. And I played for hrs, my favorite addition to the game had to be 8 player smash I allways wanted more action. I must say the roster of this game is one of if not the strangest with the cutting of semi clones like wolf and Lucas and the return of clones, specifically Dr Mario, of all the melee characters you'd choose to bring back why him over mewtwo, and the inclusion of dlc later. Nonetheless I did receive a few new characters to enjoy in paluteana, villager, the mii fighters, and corrin. Speaking of dlc I was not surprised by the announcement of mewtwo as dlc and I am glad both Roy and Lucas returned and Ryu I new you couldn't represent capcom with just megaman. The other game modes in Wii u and 3ds were interesting to say the least, target blast was fun but I still prefer target smash, master and crazy orders were amazing but hard, smash run was certainly the best thing about the 3ds version oh yah I did get a copy and a 3ds because I didn't have one. Oh and people, smash board isn't comparable to subspace emissary or world of light so, stop comparing them. The inclusion of amiibos really can make the game interesting but ultimately (pun intended) aren't very fun, however that won't stop me from buying all the amiibos I want. Now taking all this into account super smash bros for Wii u and 3ds allthough is flawed is also endlessly entertaining.

Then one day my partner came up to me and said, MERDY (thats my name) there's a new super smash bros game coming out. We watch the teaser and the thoughts just start rolling in, what characters will there be, what stages, what items, what modes, I was ready for all the answers but I would have to wait. I can say before the big "everyone is here" reveal I knew the ice climbers would return I also new there was no way they'd pass up another chance to add a story mode. World of light and spirits for that matter are probably the best thing to happen to smash, it's so complex and in depth it's creative and bewildering, it may not be as enveloped in worlds as adventure mode and we may not be able to enjoy the creative level design Masahiro Sakurai brought to subspace, however world of light has one thing the other two don't, customisation and the choice to play how you want, it's not as linear as adventure mode or subspace, and your fights aren't chosen for you. As for other game modes, I should first say 2 great new additions are video editing and vr mode, anyway you might as well go back and play some of the earlier installments in the franchise because ultimate leaves a little to be desired. Say for smash mode wich has lots of fun and well we can't talk about smash mode or super smash bros ultimate as a hole without mentioning it's shining star. The characters in super smash bros ultimate really make the game, I always dreamt that all the character from past installments would be in one game together. Of course I still had my predictions and surprises, first I accurately foresaw chrom, Simon, king k rool, technically hero (I really predicted erdrick only), and banjo & kazooie. Second I did not suspect, daisy, dark samus, and incineroar, although it was not a surprise ridley's presents in the game is highly appreciated for I am a huge metroid fan, BTW inkling was a no brainer. And I should mention the only new character I really enjoy playing is king k rool. Before the last section I wanna reminisce the things I'll miss about super smash bros. I'll really miss board the platforms, race to the finnish, 3d models of the characters and stages on select screens, event matches, coin launcher, boss battles, master and crazy orders, trophy rush, trophies, smash run, and good online gameplay... oh wait that was never a thing. I must state I'm sorry this story kind of turned into a critique, but super smash is first and foremost an experience and looking back now my life has be influenced by it, learning to grow strong and live big, and I can tell you super smash bros still is both a brotherly and love story for I still play with my brother and partner frequently. As for the future I can't say, ssbu is still growing and I personally believe it'll be Sakurai's last game in the franchise and video games are starting dwidle out of my life. Nonetheless it will be an unforgettable experience and I plan to continue to share it with all the world as it should be, being the largest crossover event in the history of entertainment, how can you even avoid it.

Waluigi for smash!!

 -------------------END-------------------

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Spider-Geddon #0 Thoughts

Having finished watching Spider-Man PS4’s story I was finally able to read Spider-Geddon #0, a comic I purchased solely because it has PS4 Spider-Man in it.

 My big take away?

 Christos Gage very obviously had help when working on the video game.

 SPOILERS if you’ve not read the comic or finished playing the game.

 Okay there are some good points here. As in five. There are five good points.

 ·         Cain’s beautiful artwork which I’ve bee fond of ever since he did Venom vs. Carnage in 2004.

·         Miles and MJ’s appearances just because I love the game’s versions of the characters.

·         The raw brilliance of the idea of PS4 Spider-Man meeting Superior Octopus after the events of the game. MUCH MORE could’ve been done with it. But the moments trying to do something with that idea were not bad per se and it’s such a compelling concept given how Peter just lost his father figure in Doc Ock by the game’s end.

·         Peter’s comments about how if his Otto hadn’t gone off the deep end he’d have maybe become like Superior Ock is a nice highlighting of what made PS4 Otto great. He was truly a reflection of Peter and so had he not gone evil the idea that he might’ve become a literal Spider-Man in his own right is a neat idea, even if Superior Ock himself is unworthy of the comparison.

·         The redesign of La Tarantula. He was NOBODY’S favourite villain but the comic filtered him through the game’s aesthetic and came up with something that looked way better and made for a more intimidating foe.

 As for the rest of the comic. I mean if you like Superior Octopus then I guess you’ll like this compared to me who fucking despises the character because he’s a rapey scumbag!

 But there are other problems big and small with this comic.

 Small stuff would be the clunky dialogue at points which would’ve been fine if they were thought balloons but instead people say this stuff out loud because thought balloons are just not ‘done’ these days.

 The bigger stuff is the presentation of Superior Ock in juxtaposition to PS4 Spidey and PS4 Spidey’s characterization over all.

 Basically gage here writes Peter similarly to how he normally wrote him when he was Slott’s ‘understudy’ writer. Which would almost be forgivable if you go with the idea that he’s just trying to have synergy with Slott’s take.

 Except when you read Gage’s Spider-Man stories outside of ASM or when he is doing arcs of his own (like his Avengers Academy tie-in arc of ASM) he kept writing Spider-Man like that.

 And now he’s doing it again (albeit not AS badly) in this comic book which is both literally a separate version of Spider-Man and one he (allegedly) defined himself.

 So clearly it wasn’t that he was just trying to have synergy with Slott, he just genuinely thinks this is what Spider-Man is supposed to be like.

 And what is that you ask?

 In a nutshell it’s less competent and more rash and impulsive than the Spider-Man of the actual PS4 game even though this is literally supposed to be that exact same version.

 And this is used to contrast Superior Ock’s greater resourcefulness, tech and calculating attitude. PS4 Spidey even says as much when he says he would’ve just waded in and Ock responds that there is something to be said for his more analytical approach whilst Peter is impulsive and rash. And he is speaking of every version of Peter btw.

 Oh sure he says Peter is brave too but it’s obvious in context of the issue, Gage’s wider work and the fact that Gage is going to be writing Ock that Ock’s words are reflective of how Gage himself sees Spider-Man.

 And THIS is why I do not think Gage himself is really all that responsible for the video game being as good as it is in terms of story and characterization.

 I think it’s more than probably the case that:

a)      people within Insomniac put a lot of time and thought into the characters and world of the game and did something like a Bible for all that stuff and then gave it to Gage to follow in coming up with the story or just fleshing out the story they had in mind

b)      Gage worked on it WITH other people, sort of like how certain TV scripts have input from multiple people in a writers room as opposed to being the product of ONE person.

c)       Some combination of the above

 P.S. I would’ve appreciated the meta commentary on there being too many variant Spider-People running around if it wasn’t in a comic book event series specifically about that and written by the main writer of said event.

[kynimdraws]

A little PSA: An explanation of Ovewatch Ana’s “Tal/탈” skin

I am getting tired of people hating on Ana’s Tal skin and while I have expressed my discontent over this unnecessary discourse on twitter I might as well crosspost on tumblr because of non-Koreans trying to spread misinformation about my home country’s culture.

(Ana voice): SHHHHHHHHHHHH calm down kids it’s grandma

Disclaimer: I am Korean. My mother is a Korean teacher who has taught me Korean history/culture. My uncle teaches in a University about Korean history. Chinese cultural appropriation topics will not be mentioned here, because I am not Chinese. Someone with better knowledge about that than make their own posts elsewhere (please).

A quick googling of “tal” or “탈” will give you the following definition (lifted from the all-accessible wikipedia page). I bolded the most relevant parts of this excerpt since I will go into more detail about it in the next paragraphs:

Korean masks have a long tradition with the use in a variety of contexts. Masks are called tal (Hangul: 탈) in Korean, but they are also known by many others names such as gamyeon, gwangdae, chorani, talbak and talbagaji. Korean Mask come with black cloth attached to the sides of the mask designed to cover the back of the head and also to simulate black hair.

They were used in war, on both soldiers and their horses; ceremonially, for burial rites in jade and bronze and for shamanistic ceremonies to drive away evil spirits; to remember the faces of great historical figures in death masks; and in the arts, particularly in ritual dances, courtly, and theatrical plays. The present uses are as miniature masks for tourist souvenirs, or on cell-phones where they hang as good-luck talismans.

The one Ana is specifically wearing is a type of 하회탈 (hahoetal), which describes a type of mask used during theatre (하회별신굿탈놀이) and dance (탈춤) since the 12th century. These performances consist of a cast of character archetypes, which are depicted by the masks. Many of the features in the masks are exaggerated for humorous and dramatic effect. Here are a general list of masks that commonly seen.

Fun fact, Ana’s mask is a hybrid of the Kaksi/각시 and Yangban/양반 mask. And maybe a little bit of the Halmo/할미 depending on the mask design.

These mask plays were performed in villages to ward off evil spirits and to convince the local gods to protect them and bring prosperity. A certain aspect of these performances are also comedic, and a chance for performers to poke fun of the ruling class and taboo subjects like sex. While this is not tied to the Lunar New Year specifically, such performances were done during special occasions like those holidays.

Now you may be asking “this is part of a religious thing! Isn’t that disrespectful??” And trust me, this depiction is FAR from being offensive to most Koreans.

Yes the tal was used for shamanistic rituals, specifically associated with “muism” (무교/신교). However, muism is not a popular Korean religion. While there has a recent uprise in people practicing it/being interested in it, Muism has always faced discrimination in Korean history. Confucianism, Christianity, and even Japanese colonialism has demonized this religion and it was nearly forgotten/eradicated. The most known incident of this is called the misin tapa undong (미신 타파 운동) describes a period from 19th century to the 1980s where various parties (both outside and inside Korea) tried to eradicate muism through various means, including burning down local shrines and villages that were known to practice them. People had to be in hiding so avoid persecution.

Fortunately the Korean government has indirectly protected Muism by making several aspects of their religious traditions as national Korean treasures, including the 탈 among other things. But it is important to note that whole 탈 culture is secularized now. It does not have the religious connotations that it was known for. Hell, the masks are one of the most recognizable features of Korean culture (and seen in many souvenirs). There are places in Korea that preserve this tradition and perform it to the public to spread awareness of its history (the 안동 village every September has an arts festival for all traditional Korean performing arts). FYI, Koreans who appreciate this are not muists themselves, and no one requires you to be one. Lunar New Year is largely a secular holiday, after all.

Now, do you want to see some of the reactions KOREAN FANS had about the Ana skin? Here are few I got off from twitter, with translations from yours truly:

BTW that Ana tal skin is my aesthetic - (x)

That Ana skin is really good ㅇㅁㅇ....tal is really making my heart flutter* - (x)

*간지뿅뿅 is not a really easy thing to translate since it’s a combo of a sound effect and an emotion??? It’s a positive response either way

Ana skin ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠtal is so good ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ - (x)

OMG Ana’s skin is tal LOL that is exciting - (x)

Many of these really are happy their culture is seen! And it’s not depicted in a mocking manner and the overall design is quite lovely, with Korean-design motifs in her clothes. The few relatively negative tweets about her skin are how the cloth may be too bright/gaudy compared to the mask, which is sort of true. The mask is supposed to be seen clearly to show what character the performer is playing out. But the color scheme really looks like those worn for the Bongsan talchum (봉산탈춤), another variety of tal (they are all within the same province btw). And a lot of Korean traditional color schemes are pretty gaudy too.

Alright, so I have told you all I can about the tal culture. Now the you may be asking the following question, summarized well by this tweet:

I think Ana looks awesome in general but what was the concept behind her new skin ???? She’s Egyptian so why wear a Tal? - (x)

To be fair, I was also fairly surprised by the choice for having Ana have the Korean-style skin before I became super ecstatic to see my culture be represented. I do agree it is odd to see a Muslim/Egyptian/Arabic character (two groups that don’t really celebrate Lunar New Year from what I can gather) to be chosen for a Korean skin, but that matter sort of falls into the “Muslim/Egyptian/Arabic culture is underrepresented in Overwatch and gaming media in general” topic and I am not knowledgeable enough to discuss that in detail. A Muslim Overwatch fan has written about this matter here if you want to check it out.

But back on point, is this skin an example of YELLOW FACE or CULTURAL APPROPRIATION? No! When did being Muslim/Arabic/Egyptian =/= you can’t celebrate/appreciate other cultures and their traditions? Did you only want Koreans to get the skin? I am all for D.Va getting more skins (and MAYBE more KOREAN OVERWATCH HEROES) but why restrict the Korean theme onto just one character? Cultural appropriation is when people INAPPROPRIATELY disrespect a culture by mocking them and disregarding the traditions of said culture. Ana is not doing any of this. Besides, Korean tal culture is not closed off to non-Koreans, and there are Korean cultural socities that are willing to offer classes on this and will even teach you how to do the dance/plays (i.e. Sejong University has a site for it). 

FYI because I am Korean, I cannot say how Egyptian/Muslim/Arab fans feel about Ana wearing Korean attire for Lunar New Year. I have talked to a few Muslim OW fans/friends about this and given their differing opinions on the matter (including the OP of the muslim underrepresentation post I linked earlier), I cannot really make a confident assumption on how these people generally feel about the skin. On Korean fandom’s end though, we love the skin! It’s great Blizzard took the time to research Korean culture and make a skin that isn’t mocking Koreans. And Blizzard does have some ties with Korea itself due to its HUGE gaming culture/fanbase, so it is possible BlizzKorea has gotten input there for this event. Being between two BIG Asian countries (Japan and China), Korea is often left out and this event was a really nice breath of fresh air. We are represented!! We are not some invisible culture between the big two!!!

And if you are not part of this culture, just PLEASE let other people speak out about the matter before getting on your moral high horse to talk about appropriation. 

Now, does that mean the Korean fandom thinks Blizzard is a perfect company? NO! Honestly the entire event is MOSTLY about Chinese culture (with some Korean stuff squeezed in between). Other Asian countries that celebrate Lunar New Year have been ignored (i.e. Southeast Asian cultures and some Indian cultures celebrate Lunar New Year and they are not included despite Symmetra being Indian, etc). These discrepancies are good starting points to discuss underrepresentation in media that Blizzard can learn about and hopefully include in their future updates. From what I can see, the Overwatch developers have been receptive to this feedback so it would be good to have that convo in their official forums too.

FYI, I personally feel like there could have been more Korean stuff for this event period. In America at least, it really sucks that Lunar New Year is ALWAYS called Chinese New Year despite other countries also celebrating it...RIP. But I appreciate that this game has made Korean culture more visible. Here’s hope to more visible Korean stuff in gaming and elsewhere! Where is my “새해 복 많이 받으세요” voice line for D.Va? I demand answers Blizzard!!!

Anyway, hope that has taught you something new, and Happy Lunar New Year to everyone!

[opendoorlorien]

Mystic Messenger ruined my life and killed my crops (srsly tho fucking Yoosung's route had so many of my triggers I wish someone had warned me...) that game stressed me out so bad (but Zen's route almost made up for it if it hadn't been for the whole "if you stay I won't be able to control myself" bs that rly ruined it tbfuckinh)

YES OMG. The same exact thing happened with my friend when she did Yoosung’s route, and it got so bad she doesnt even like talking about it bc it just makes her repulsed lol. I think a big thing is too is that these characters really feel like real people? I mean sure there’s exaggerated humor and circumstances but the way they text you and talk nearly feel like you’re talking to an actual person. Maybe even moreso with Yoosung because I think he’s probably the easiest character to relate to personally since he’s a struggling school student and I think most of us are like that lol (and even if you’re not, his troubles and concerns about finding what he wants to do in the future are REAL). Even when the climax of Yoosung’s route effectively happened off screen it was still like raw af you know.

I was actually aiming for Zen at first but of c got rail roaded into Yoosung’s. But after doing Yoosung’s I immediately wanted to do Jumin’s and I think I had enough hourglasses or w/e for it so I started it right away.

Like, during Yoosung’s route I found Jumin to be a very respectable person who was very mature and composed and thoughtful, and had interesting insights on a lot of the troubles Yoosung had in his route, and provided a lot of nice food for thought on the matter too. Not only that but I kind of have a thing for tall dark and handsome rich dudes in pinstripe suits who are assertive and in control (SWEATS). And Jumin’s route went pretty well for a while until he went from projecting on his cat to projecting REALLY hard on you. I remember the exact moment where I went from “WOW THIS ROUTE IS REALLY GOOD JUMIN IS COOL” to “HOLY FUCK GET ME OUT OF HERE ABORT MISSION ABORT.” And that was where you try to leave for the first time and he pushes you against the wall and is like “why do you want to leave? I’m taking care of you and you’re safe here. Why don’t you appreciate all I’m doing for you here” ect. 

Now, for me, I don’t mind dominance and control. If anything it’s probably a charm point to me, in good measure. But there is a fine line from “good dominance and control” to “bad”. And that moment was when Jumin jumped right over the line into bad territory for me. Especially when in the following scene he makes you wear the clothes he wants to see on you like you’re a gd dress up doll and makes you have dinner with him. I kinda felt like puking tbh. The route was totally an emotional roller coaster too because there were some moments where his possessiveness was like “GOD NO” but then other times where he’d like read you a gd bedtime story and said things like “I can’t sort all my emotions out properly right now, but I hope in time I can better express myself to you” and also him like making you pancakes and shit. And then two seconds later he’d be like “anyway there’s a cage in the apartment how about you try going in LOL”

Funny thing too was that I’d play the game on my work breaks which aren’t very long like 10-15min, and by the time I went back to work I’d be like screaming internally for the rest of the shift. Like I remember feeling shellshocked.

Even at the end of the route I’m not entirely sure Jumin gets “heal” necessarily. He’s… “better” but its clear you’re still the center of his world and if anything happened to you it’d probably break him on every level. Although in time he might get a bit better, but still. 

The route was a total ride. Even now I still feel kind of shaken up about the entire thing, kind of like remembering a bad past relationship or something like that. But at the same time I still kind of like Jumin too? Because like I said before he’s a pretty respectable and sometimes even funny person in his other routes. Like you feel a sense of security with him there, since he’s in control of the situation and always seems to know what to do and how to manage things? And before I played his route I felt like I understood him and knew where he was coming from. But his route itself revealed a much darker and deeper side of him I didn’t really expect. Like I’d HEARD about the shit in his route, but you never really know until you go play it right (I thought I was ready. I was wrong). But like I said I still can’t really hate him, and sometimes end up missing him. Because he DOES have a lot of things that I find REALLY attractive in a person physically and personality wise but itsssssssss just likeekekee

I also did do Zen and Jaehee’s routes later on. I enjoyed Zen’s to some effect, it was pretty good and it did help take off some of the edge of Jumin’s route. I also love when he comes and rescues you from “the hacker” and kicks down the god damn door to your apartment and saves you. THANKS ZEN. And I know the “I wont be able to hold myself back with you” thing is a turn on for some people. I’m kind of on the fence about it though LOL.

Jaehee’s route was also okay but kind of boring because 80% of your input after the halfpoint of the route is “cheer up Jaehee!” but I do like how she sticks it to Jumin–who btw acts like a childish idiot in her route and made me kinda dislike him more.

I also never did 707’s route and never found out the “true sinister hidden secrets of RFA” and ect. I could look it up on the wiki but I’m too lazy. The game was DEFINITELY an experience and much more raw and personable than I was expecting it to be. I think it messed a lot of us up anon LOL.

[survivordivergent]

EPISODE 3 - “I LOVE LYING! BIG MOVES.” - OTTO

Me, when El gets votes: Uh, who thought that was the plan? I 

okay so I took this damn idol clue and lost my tribe the 50 points, which actually doesn't matter because we wound up winning, yay us! BUT when people saw someone lost 50 points, they were so pissed, including Melissa and Kyle, so I didn't tell anyone it was me. They both think it's Riley. But anyway. Because I didn't tell them then, I can't go back and tell them now. And I'm so mad because I can't figure out this clue on the new blog. Like honestly. I thought, you know if I just take some time and think about it, I'll be able to get it, but I can't figure it out. And i need to before tonight because if not, wasting those 50 points will be for nothing because someone else is going to get the clue and I'm clearly not an erudite so they will figure it out before me. Ugh.

Okay enough about that for now because I'm livid at myself. So during the challenge I was able to talk to Jill a bit. I have my alliance with Melissa and Kyle and I'm sticking with them for a while, but I want to keep Jill close because first, I clicked with her on Candor before the swap, and second, she says she trusts me the most. She trusts me so much that she told me her advantage she won in the challenge (she also lost us 50 points, but Melissa and Kyle think it's Riley as well). Apparently Jill can look at someone's vote. Which honestly, she could be lying about, but I trust her because she came right out and told me she got the advantage when I asked. She also asked me to help her with the Erudite idol. She doesn't know I'm several steps ahead of her. My plan right now is to stick with Melissa and Kyle, and keep Jill close as well. We only need 1 more to have majority, should we go to tribal. I feel pretty okay right now, but I would really love that Erudite idol...

Tribal Council went about as expected, minus the self-vote (oops @ Lucy) and the El vote (wtf @ whoever's being a dink.) I'm pretty convinced that someone is doing chaotic things for the sake of being chaotic, which is obviously not ideal.

Rapid-fire tribe eval: –My two favourite people on this tribe, by a wide margin, are Dani and Payton. Next up is Lucy. Then Percy/El. Then Geo. And I don't know Peter at all.

–I miss Kyle. Nothing like a tribe full of relative inactives to make you appreciate how good allies matter. Hope we both make merge so we can (at least) explore the option of linking back up.

–Possibly just paranoia speaking, but if I had to place a bet right now I'd say it was probably Payton who took the advantage. Speculation is based on the fact that she was couching her support during the comp in somewhat negative terms (e.g., "if we don't lose" vs "if we win" or "when we win." Or saying "we're fucked rip </3" when we weren't near the end of the comp.) It's admittedly super flimsy reasoning. But with a lack of any kind of information, that's all I have to go on right now. And obviously whoever took it won't be telling me any time soon, given how quickly I blew up over it. That wasn't a smart move.

–That reward comp was fun, considering the sheer level of auditory assault. Geo and I did most of the work through Shazam (and whoever said it doesn't work couldn't have been more wrong.) I wish people would talk more in tribe chat, even if just to say "hey, I tried, but I'm not hearing anything." It would be a better way to gauge who's doing things vs. who's passively coasting. Only ones I know for sure are working hard are myself, Geo, Lucy, Payton and Percy. I don't think Lucy did too much on the music challenge, and I haven't seen Geo around for this Battleship comp yet, though. Hmmm.

–It might be time to formalize that alliance Lucy and I were discussing. We need a plan in case we lose this.

–The Erudite idol continues to elude me. I completed the puzzle on step two, but I can't figure out the next blog. Despite the first two clues being completely ambiguous and me trying every possible combination of the last two. Colour me stymied, y'all.

–My preferences, in order: 1. We win immunity in an ass-kicking, sending ripples of confidence surging through the tribe, and we go undefeated until the next swap/merge. 2. We win immunity in a close-fought battle, lose a comp or two down the line as a product of a well-divided season, and hit merge with a slight numbers advantage. 3. We lose here and dump Peter or El, who have both been kinda spacey and invisible. 4. We lose here and dump literally anybody else. 5. Nuclear heat death of the universe. 6. The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup. 7. Benedict Cumberbatch wins an Oscar. 8. I make a really embarrassing typo that's always mentioned whenever I'm around. Probably something about that time I one HvV2. 9. We lose and target either Peter or El, and it turns out that they have the advantage and it's an idol or something.

[6:11:56 PM] Melissa Fields: i went through it a few more times but shazam didn't find anything that wasn't already on the list [6:12:27 PM] Eliza: All I hear is Ariana Grande and white noise [6:16:27 PM] otto apollo: same @Melissa 

btw I have not played the video at all. not even a second of it.

i love lying! big moves.

http://prntscr.com/di7hka 

INTERESTING

So Eliza is confirmed Amanda

Shook

http://prntscr.com/di82nu 

so far And I think betty might've been lexi but idk

Hey @everyone who's reading confessionals after the game because I've probably been exposed by now for the accident, but taking the advantage in that one immunity challenge was a mistake of me not reading the whole post. I wasn't trying to be selfish, it was me being an idiot. So I'm sorry for that, @six

Maybe a triple alliance of Me-Ed-Dani would work? Maybe? I'm gonna try suggesting it, it could work.

Okay, since the Inactive One is gone, I'm gonna do a full rundown of everyone in the tribe and my ~feelings~ about them:

2. Dani: Pretty good! I definitely see her as my #2 ally right now. She's pretty active and vocal in the tribe chat as well as 1 on 1 chats, which I think shows a LOT about how a person is game-wise.

1. Ed: Who is he? Just kidding. My #1 right now, and hopefully he keeps trusting me. I told him about the advantage but I was not honest about how I got it, but would you be? I think he and I could go all the way if we really trust each other. And if I'm never Exposed.

El: I like talking to him, he's pretty good, but he's not very active. He hasn't said a word this round. Yikes. Probably

3. Geo: Nice! I see him as #3 right now. He's moderately active in tribe chat and 1 on 1 chats, which is good. If Ed, Dani, Geo and I worked together, we could be a powerful duo after this vote.

Lucy: Who is she? I like her as a person, and she helped a lot in reward last round, but she self-voted and she's inactive. I wouldn't trust her as a helpful ally, but as a number she works.

Percy: Maybe a good ally? Talkative in tribe chats, closed off in one-on-one and dislikes talking game.

Peter: Peter, Peter, Peter. If you were more active, you could be useful. C'mon, I stood up for you last round and kept you here, could you be a bit more grateful?

Anyway, I think Ed and I could go to the end. He'd be a worthy person to lose too. I want to go to the end with him and I hope he trusts me.

Pat is calm and composed and relaxed. :)

BUT ED IS LOSING HIS DAMN MIND.

I figured out where I was going wrong on that other idol clue – I was trying to input it as a whole new blog, rather than a page on areyouproudofmejenn. Duh. Stupid. So I got through, got to the new blog, and...

Nothing.

The clue, in its entirety: "This is going to be a little different. You will be looking for multiple pages on this blog this time, following a few separate mind clues and puzzles. Each answer will be a separate page on the blog until you reach the link to the next blog Clue 1: 4+4+3+3+2+2+1 (26) "

So I'm like, oh neat! Basic math! I can do this! https://whattheactualfuckicant.tumblr.com/19 Nothing.

https://whattheactualfuckicant.tumblr.com/1926 https://whattheactualfuckicant.tumblr.com/19(26)

https://whattheactualfuckicant.tumblr.com/nineteen https://whattheactualfuckicant.tumblr.com/nineteentwentysix Nothing. And then I think maybe the (26) is there to act as a more full version of a formula. Like 4+4+3+3+2+2+1(*26)

https://whattheactualfuckicant.tumblr.com/494 Nope.

https://whattheactualfuckicant.tumblr.com/4433221 Nein.

https://whattheactualfuckicant.tumblr.com/4+4+3+3+2+2+1 Nada.

https://whattheactualfuckicant.tumblr.com/[insert every number from 0-200, manually inputted by yours truly] Non.

https://whattheactualfuckicant.tumblr.com/+1 (because there are two of every digit except 1. That's gotta matter, right?) Wrong.

https://whattheactualfuckicant.tumblr.com/24232211 (two fours, two threes, two twos, one one) Nyet.

I'm so FRUSTRATED and this is gonna to be a SUPER EASY thing that I am MISSING and I'm so NOT HERE FOR IT.

Bye I've already been outed by one person to my face, everyone else probably knows, I'm going to get 17th place because the illusion is DEAD and how they feel about DREW is going to kick in here, rather than how they feel about MELISSA. "If you're not Drew, you do a really good job of wording things the same way as him" HOW TF DO I WORD THINGS DIFFERENTLY AND STILL BE A PERSON, I tried for like a day and a half to "translate" away from sounding like myself and I hated every second of it. I guess there's no real reason to pretend anymore? Like obviously I'm not gonna start saying shit like "Bye y'all gotta go to my shift at the library" or "Michigan winters really are the worst" or "wow it's so nice to be 27 years old and a dude" like I'll still keep the bare facts about Melissa, but like this isn't even someone I have an alliance with, so if just the way I phrase even the most innocuous things like talking about comps in the tribe chat exposes me??? Yeah there's no point in fighting the tide on this one, what they get is what they get.

It was t.

It was literally just the letter t.

I'm dying.

Mercy is for those who aren't good with words - Ed Creegan

I feel REALLLLY bad lying to my allies but it has to be done. They're gonna hate me after this game, but I hope everyone realizes it was a mistake that I didn't mean to make. I'm sorry, Ed. I know you trust me.

I don't know if I trust Ed right now. He said something that makes me wonder.

I KNOW WHO PAYTON IS OMG I WAS RIGHT!!

This whole time, I was thinking, Payton might be Logan, they're very similar in personality. Loud, a bit self-deprecating. But the biggest thing is that they're both pregnant, hmm, it would make sense. However, today, we made an alliance chat with Dani, Ed, and Lucy. In the chat, during I was talking with Dani, Payton said to her, "Okay Darian." Who's somebody thats pregnant and hates Darian Groggin(?) Logan. I am positive that Payton is Logan. 100%

So here's the long ass confessional I promised. Tonight, I'm going to my third tribal council this season. I've literally been involved in almost every vote off so far and I guess this is where trust begins to be built.

I got added to an alliance with Payton, Ed, Lucy, Geo, and myself. That's majority, so good luck to Percy, Peter, and El! I am hoping that El goes home tonight because she hasn't brought much to the table and I want Otto to be shook that maybe the Dauntless Three are in some sort of trouble. Like I said before, if I can be the last Dauntless standing, that would be a perfect situation for me.

I know that the big twist this season are the aliases that we use to keep our previous identities secret, but there is also a lot of giddiness associated with wanting to reveal yourself to people, etc etc. It's used to maintain trust between allies, I suppose, and maybe revealing your identity is not necessarily a bad thing? But I am treating this like Christmas. Sure, you can open all the presents whenever you'd like, but then it spoils the holiday. Christmas morning for me will be the post-season when everyone is revealed to be who they are, and I'm trying to maintain that air of fun for others.

Right now, only one person knows who I am, and that is Ed. I knew who Ed was right off the bat and we've played games together in the past. He would be capable of figuring out who I am within a heartbeat, so I chose to gain his trust through my reveal while also exposing him so that there is no mistrust between us. We could ride this out to the end together, but of course I am not thinking that far ahead quite yet. Ed (also known as Pat) is truly my number one ally in this game.

HOWEVER, I know a ton of other peoples' identities because I am just that smart. Why wasn't I on Erudite, you might ask?! From what I've gathered, I think Otto is MJ; El might be some weird Australian so bye; Ed is Pat; Payton is Logan (but that was rly easy); Geo is Rob; and I think Lucy might be Nic but that seems really unlikely so I might ditch that sooner or later.

I'm honestly really bored with this round because we've had such an easy transition between two easy boots :/ We'll have to see how that goes.