#In most cases I had to use asset! 😭

[xery-of]

Inanimate Insanity Invitational but with other contestants ! ✨

Unoriginal idea .

[reiding-writing]

Hi 💜 can i pretty please request a fem!Reader where she looks younger than she actually is and people are often condescending to her but bf spence always has our back

(under)qualified [ s.r ]

WARNINGS: fem!reader, ageism, dick of a character that i made up, reader gets angry

spencer reid x cold!reader | hurt/comfort? | 2.1k |

series masterlist!!

a/n: so i unintentionally self projected on this and it ended up as an unintentional sequel to my cold!reader fic sorry 😭🫶

main masterlist!!

“Yes I understand that but if you’d just let me-“ Your attempt is immediately shut down by the man in front of you raising his hand like you’re a child who’s spoken out of turn.

You’d been trying for almost forty five minutes to reason with him, but every single thing that you said was dismissed like you were asking him for cookies after bed time instead of putting your two cents forward as a qualified psychologist on the mental state that the unsub you were tracking down was likely to be in.

“If you want to be useful, why don’t you go and make me a coffee? You can do that can’t you?” The look he gave you made you want to tear out your eyes so you couldn’t see him anymore and then force them down his mouth so you didn’t have to hear him anymore.

You swallow your pride with a clench of your fists, exhaling slowly through your nose. “…Yes Sir,”

“Splenda and skim,”

If he weren’t your superior you’d shove his splenda right up his asshole and watch it leak down his legs like a five year old who wets the bed.

You stuff the urge to slam the door on your exit into the back of your head, although you’re sure you are basically steaming from the ears by the time you reach the coffee machine.

You may well have been physically steaming from the ears if the looks from your teammates had anything to say about it.

“Something tells me she’s not getting along with Dr. Lancaster too well-“ Morgan’s assessment was met with agreement from Emily and a concerned glance in your direction from Spencer.

“Does anyone get along with him? Even Hotch can’t stand the guy,” Emily’s eyes turn towards where he stands in the conference room. “I still don’t get why he’s even here,”

“Strauss thinks he’s a valuable asset to the team-“ Spencer speaks as he stands, eyes still locked on your back as he leaves Morgan and Emily at the desk to make sure that you’re alright.

“Hey,” You look like your about to rip him to shreds as you turn towards him, although the minute you realise that it’s just Spencer and not the pain up your ass that is Dr. Lancaster your expression softens tenfold. “Are you- uh- Are you okay?”

That split second of venom in your facial features seems to knock the wind out of Spencer’s sails, and he’s increasingly glad that he’s not the one on the end of your rage.

“Oh i’m just grand,” You tone is dripping with sarcasm, and he watches as you unscrew one of the salt shakers and scoop a half teaspoon into the mug in front of you.

“Uh-” He has half the mind to question your actions, but the contempt that returns to your eyes as you turn them down to the coffee in front of you tells him that it’s most likely for the Doctor still in the conference room, and considering you were practically burning holes in everything you saw when you left the room yourself, he figured that this was you playing nice.

“You’d think that nobody under the age of fifty is allowed to have a PhD I swear-“ You don’t need any prompting to start spilling all of your anger for Spencer to hear.

“‘You’re too young to have a PhD’ he says, ‘go and make me a coffee’, oh I’ll make you a cup of coffee alright, and hopefully it’ll rot your intestines as you drink it,” You’re just rambling to yourself at this point, and Spencer purses his lips into a line as he listens to you, unsure whether to interject or just let you rant. “I’m a qualified psychologist for god’s sake, not a fucking coffee runner.”

He definitely knows how it feels to have your intelligence questioned because of your age, but in your case you weren’t even exceptionally young for your education, even if you looked a few years younger than you actually were.

You were 23 when you got your PhD. Which yes was a few years younger than the average person, didn’t make you any less qualified than someone like Dr. Lancaster who’d had his PhD for over two decades.

If anything it probably made you more qualified. Social sciences like Psychology changed all the time, and someone who was stuck in the mindset of what it was like twenty years ago would probably overlook things younger specialists would see immediately.

He guessed that was probably what was happening with you and Dr. Lancaster back in the conference room.

“Would you like me to speak with him?” Spencer’s tone carries nothing but sweetness, as well as a slight hesitation in the possibility of increasing your frustration rather than helping you quell it.

“It’s fine Reid, I’ve got it.” You tone is notably filled with much lest resentment as you turn down his offer, but he can still hear the lingering frustration in your words. He trails behind you regardless, following as you re-enter the conference room with the coffee mug held in your hand and a feigned smile on your face.

He’s sure you can handle yourself, he’s just there for backup. Just in case.

“There you are, I was starting to think you couldn’t even find your way to the coffee machine,” You force yourself to bite your tongue and just give him the coffee before retreating to the opposite side of the conference room to watch him drink it, ensuring a quick escape if he doesn’t take kindly to the salty beverage.

You could see the instant shift in his facial expression as he took the first sip, his eyes immediately turning towards you and Spencer with a disgusted look on his face. “You call this coffee? It’s disgusting.” He discards the cup on the table, glaring daggers into your forehead.

“Guess I’m not qualified enough to make it,” You shrug with an overly nonchalant expression. “You know what they say, you want something done right you gotta do it yourself,”

“You little-” Dr. Lancaster was the one steaming from the ears now, and Spencer had to step in to stop the two of you getting into a full blown argument.

“You know studies have shown that if you view something pessimistically before you experience it, you’re more likely come out with a negative opinion afterwards,” Spencer’s sentence accuses the doctor of mentally disregarding the coffee because of his distaste for you rather than the fact that you put half a teaspoon of salt in the drink.

You have to suppress a small smile at his interjection. Spencer Reid. Helping you get away with purposefully tampering with a superior’s cup of coffee because you were petty over his condescension. Who would’ve thought.

You can see Dr. Lancaster open his mouth to retort, but Spencer doesn’t give him the chance. “Is this the psychological profile you’re working on? There’s still a lot of gaps in it,”

Spencer reads the board with a raised eyebrow. Some of what’s written makes absolutely zero sense and he’s beginning to wonder whether Dr. Lancaster was even a ‘doctor’ at all. Although it was at least much easier to read than when you’d scrawl out your own profiles. But he’d leave that part out when talking to you about this later.

“You’ve ruled out the possibility of deluded fantasies as part of the MO?” That was the oddest part to Spencer. The unsub showed a clear repetitive pattern in how he’d kill his victims, making the idea of delusion the literal first thing to look into as part of their psychology. He glanced at you as you spoke and you gave him a shrug of your shoulders and a shake of your head that told him exactly how frustrating the last hour of your life had been.

“Are you questioning my decisions?” Dr. Lancaster’s voice was just as harsh to Spencer as it was to you, and you had half the mind to pour the rest of the coffee you made him over his head and hope the salt got in his eyes and blinded him.

“Well, I do have my Bachelor’s in Psychology so I feel I have an adequate knowledge on the subject, although I’m sure our psychological expert would be a better person to assess the holes in your profile,” Spencer gestures his head over to you as he speaks, and you can see the anger rise into Dr. Lancaster’s face like one of those baking soda and vinegar volcanoes.

By now your sure your smile at Spencer’s interjections is visible, and your not even sure that you’re trying to hide it anymore.

“How dare you suggest that my methods are inadequate,”

“With all due respect sir, psychology is an ever-changing science, and your… methods are not as effective as they used to be back when you used to work with the BAU twenty years ago,”

“We’re on a time limit here, so either you can work with me, or i’ll make my own profile and pitch it to Hotch separately,” You take a seat on the edge of the conference table and gesture your hands outwards.

Dr. Lancaster looked like he was about to blow a fuse, and if he was any older you’d be convinced he was about to have a heart attack and die right there in the middle of the room from rage.

He looked absolutely astounded at your tag teaming, and you’re sure that the both of you being in your early thirties whilst he was in his late sixties was not helping with the seething anger that was showing all over his face. “You two have some nerve speaking to your superior like this. I will be bringing this up to Chief Strauss, believe me.”

He didn’t give either of you the time to say anything else as he pushed past Spencer to leave the room, slamming the door behind him.

“Talk about immature, you’d think he was a child,” Your final jab is met by a small laugh from Spencer, and you shoot him a small smile of thanks that makes his cheeks heat up.

“I’ll let you get back to work,” Spencer gives you that perfectly awkward endearing smile as he retreats to the door of the room and you almost melt at the sight.

He’d really gone out of his way to deal with the asshole plaguing your work to no real benefit of his own. You wouldn’t lie, it was kind of attractive seeing Spencer shut him down like that, but you’d keep that to yourself when you talked about this later.

“Spencer,”

You caught him with the door half open, hand he looked at you with the eyes of a puppy who’d just been praised for spinning in a circle rather than an FBI agent who’d been called his first name by his coworker.

His eyes were big and round and blinking softly at you, his pupils blending into the honey brown of his irises and making his gaze even more puppy dog like.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,”

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

If dazai ends up transferring to the PM, how would you feel? 😭

Idk the ADA panels are making me anxious..

Hey hey!

Honestly, I think Mori trying to bring Dazai back in this way wouldn't be a good play on his part at all, and I think he knows this. Dazai has to choose to return himself, otherwise Mori won't end up with an asset at all, just a hindrance. I really can't see that kind of transfer going any way other than Dazai just... up and leaving again first chance he gets. Hahaha

Besides, it'd be a weird move on Fukuzawa's part, and I do believe both Ranpo and Kunikida (as well as Atsushi and Kyouka) would strongly protest - Fukuzawa is shown taking Dazai's advice when meeting with Mori during the Guild arc quite seriously, and even if you think that he somehow doesn't consider him part of the group (I seriously doubt it), Dazai is still an incredible boon to the Agency, especially in dealings with the Mafia or against powerful opponents like Fyodor. It would be a really poor decision to try and transfer him.

While I poked fun at the panels with a couple of memes, I really think Dazai not being there has a lot to do with Fukuzawa's ability - remember that he knows the status of each member of his Agency; of course, with the exception of Dazai.

Also, I seriously don't know if the transfer is going to go through at all at this point. While the Mafia did rescue the Agency members from the Hunting Dogs, it was a traitor in their midst that assured their later capture, and the vampire infection completely ravaged the Mafia's ranks. As far as everyone knows now, it was Fukuzawa and the Agency that "saved the day". Do they still owe Mori? It seems unlike either of them to back out of a deal, but I'm honestly not sure.

If it does still go through, let's think hypothetically on who Mori might take based on what he'd be looking for in a potential transfer member.

Yosano: Obviously he wants Yosano back. But he can't get to her because Fukuzawa guaranteed it.

Dazai: Obviously he wants Dazai back. But I think due to the reasons above, Dazai is safe.

Kyouka: She just left. Also I think Kouyou understands that she's happier here and would not let this happen. Atsushi and Dazai would also not let this happen.

Kenji: Very strong, and recognized as such by Chuuya. However, I don't think his attitude is something that Mori would be looking for. He doesn't exactly scream "operating under cover of night" hahaha

Ranpo: I doubt it, but there could be some advantages. Mori would have another genius tactician for one. However, Ranpo's methods are far removed from Dazai's and Mori's own, and I think he'd have a hard time convincing Ranpo to do anything he doesn't want to... Ranpo is a detective. Case closed. Maybe if Mori had found him instead of Fukuzawa when he was young, but now? No.

Kunikida: This could be interesting. Kunikida is a very moral man; however, he is far from bound to the law (fully willing to break it if he disagrees or thinks it's necessary for the sake of his ideals) and has recently had his ideals and spirit damaged almost to the point of suicide. Transferring him would be devastating. I don't know that I see what Mori would get out of taking Kunikida though, other than weakening the Agency (remember that he's next in line to lead after Fukuzawa). I just don't think there's enough in it for Mori to bother. I also think taking Kunikida would piss Dazai off royally.

Tanizaki: The fan-popular choice. He does, admittedly, make the most sense. Multiple Mafia characters have seen and commented on his talent for assassination. His skills are very useful and his morals basically hinge on Naomi's safety. If Asagiri wanted to elaborate on Tanizaki's character, this would certainly be an interesting way to do it. If Mori can assure Naomi's safety, then he will have Tanizaki's loyalty and a powerful new assassin, and that is what Mori would ultimately be looking for.

Atsushi: Okay, hear me out. Mori has to be well aware of Dazai's creation of a new double black in Atsushi and Akutagawa. He knows full well how powerful the tiger is. Might it be useful to have a double black purely under his command once again? Now, I honestly believe that Mori understands the value of balance in these things and wouldn't take Atsushi so as to have their duo be part-Agency, part-Mafia in accordance with Natsume's tactics. We've also already seen mafia Atsushi in the Beast universe. However, this could be a really interesting way to have reader focus shift to exploring more of the Port Mafia by having our main character literally end up mired in that world. Mori has already worked with Atsushi before (against Lucy), and let's think of what he knows - Fitzgerald set a bounty on him, Dazai recruited him and partnered him with his former mentee, and he's able to work well with Akutagawa (who pretty notoriously isn't a team player). Mori may just find himself intrigued enough to see what the big deal is...