#In case I’m actually pioneering something here I’d call this ship…Noring

[distantmaniacallaugh]

KINGER WOULD BANG UZIS MOM PROVE ME WRONG

Turns out I’m not gonna shut up about Kinger x Uzis Mom.

Listen, I’m a Checkmate shipper and you know that very well, I’m the 80k-on-ao3-never-going-to-shut-the-fuck-up-about-it patron fucking saint of Checkmate shippers, but I know a good dynamic when I see one!!!

Take Canon Kinger— no frills, no headcanons no whatsits. We can all agree that in canon, he’s very gentle and patient (as ep 3 displays) and if you take that as his true self— ignoring his more twitchy nature when his trauma is suppressed to the point of dissociation— and follow that thread a bit farther down a hypothetical character arc where he actually learns to function again, you get a kind, gentle, really fucking tired guy who likes computers and is pretty experienced relationship wise. He’s PERFECT for Uzis mom. He’s patient, kind, autistic, not obsessed with doors, autistic…

Think about it. She’s trapped in essentially her own nervous system with a few claws on it. He’s trapped in a hunk of wood with rayman hands. Neither of them have a mouth, so no problems there! She’s very wild and skittish and all over the place, clearly not very good with the whole “emotional vulnerability” thing, but very gruff and dependable in the right situations— Kinger is very gentle and kind and patient, with a lot of experience with traumatized people and relationships because. Marriage. Plus, he loves insects and willingly touched an abstraction at least once, so there’s no way he’d be disgusted by her, right? And she’s a literal ex robot, so there’s no “AUGH i would TOTALLY love you but youre all hard and cold wahhh :’[”

Also, like. he’s clearly very lonely. Also SHES clearly very lonely. Also Uzi definitely needs a semi stable father figure who will go “what. What th— excuse me???” When she tells him about what the LAST dad did. Cmon. He’d be the perfect step dad, right?? LOOK at him, he was born to be somebody’s fun uncle at LEAST!

In the shows INDISPUTABLE canon, Queenie is dead and gone, for good, no takebacksies, at least as of ep3. I of course ignore this to high hell, but in this pairing it works in our favor! There’s gold in these hills, dammit!

I mean, please note I know nothing about Murder Drones lore, and as I said I’m on the Queenie/Kinger train and will be on said train until I die— But as somebody who likes crossovers and is unhinged, if there’s someone out there willing to write a fic, hit me up. I’ll make art for it.