#Im telling you he looks like the Baron from What we do in the shadows

[preqvelle]

New old pics of Primo courtesy of rise above records

[the-iron-tipped-quill]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

FUCK YOU WRITERS BLOCK HAVE SOMETHING I WROTE

IM SO HYPER AND HAPPY I ACTUALLY WROTE SOMETHING

anyways

Word count: 545

anyways here you go!

Dance with me dear.

The masked man asked, jet black hair tied in a neat tail. 

I shook my head, running away. I was not to be seen at this ball. Hiding off to the side, I returned to observing, the black haired man seemed to scan the crowd for me, emerald green eyes peeking out from behind his mask. 

“Pandora! What did I tell you about even speaking to others at this ball.” Dhana said, glaring at me. 

“M-My apologies ma’am..” I said, trying to make myself seem smaller. I was meant to be there to make Dhana seem like the star of the show. 

The masked man found me speaking to Dhana, and walked over to us. 

“It’s quite impolite to run away from someone asking for a dance you know.” He said extending his hand to me. “Ah, before I forget, please, call me Jin.”

I could see the anger burning through Lady Dhana as I walked off with the stranger calling himself Jin.

“What is your name for tonight?” he asked as I danced with him, the blue dress I wore  flowing as I danced. 

“North. Please.. Call me north.”

“North it is then, my dear stranger.”

I glanced back to lady Dhana, who appeared to be conversing with a seemingly high ranking lady.

“Lady Eris seems to be conversing with my sister, Baroness Shiro.”

“What title do you have Jin, if your sister is a baroness?” 

“I am simply a baron, but that connection is sometimes mistaken because of my relationship with Lord Iparis. I have lost count of how many times I have been confused as a Lord.” He laughed as he spun me around, his laugh was musical, almost a comforting sound.

“What about you, what title do you hold?”

“I hold no title of my own… I am merely a servant of Lady Eris, here with her to make her look good.” I confessed, looking away in shame.

He paused for a brief moment, before clearing his throat and continuing. “Well you had me fooled! I whole heartedly thought you were another noble, you certainly carried yourself like one!” 

“I am the personal servant of Lady Eris. I have lived in her shadow my entire life.” 

The night continued on, Jin had his attention focused on me purely, as if I was the whole world for that evening. 

“Before this night ends, I would love to see you once more North, please, go to the Archaic household and ask for Baron Mari, I’ll be waiting for you.” And those were the last words he spoke to me that night. He left with a kiss on my hand.

Lady Dhana came over to me, I could see the anger burning through her. She dragged me back to Arkadia, fuming as we sat in the carriage back home. I stayed silent most of the ride back. We returned to the kingdom and I went to my chambers. Sleeping with a small bit of warmth in my chest because of that masked stranger.

“Who was that lady you were dancing with Mari?” Petra asked as we returned to the estate.

“A lovely stranger, may fate have our paths cross again.” Mari said wistfully as he left to go to sleep. 

(characters used: Dhana Arklight, Mari and Petra Archaic, Pandora North and Gabriel Iparis)

[thedappleddragon]

Day 87 (Sunday June 7)

I woke up from a dream where I was creating an ad for ATLA and I got into cosplay and had to find a filming location. I went to the pool and a bunch of my friends were there. I showed off my stardew farming skills to Zuko and others who were around. At some point someone started closing the pool cover while people were still in the pool, and we had to pull people out before they drowned, including Judy Hopps. The scene changed to where I was in a new school. My hair was in a bun/ponytail, partially dyed, and really messy. I accidentally wore the school gym uniform on the first day. For some reason I was really excited about the school bathrooms having tiny sinks. I stood in front of the mirror, fixing my hair, and it was beautiful like Katara’s. Back to the pool party, I had brought along a blanket that I own irl to use as a prop to make it looks I was riding on Appa. Someone said they had a real fur throw I could use, but I said that it went against my ways to use things taken from animals, and as I was saying that, two giant ferrets wrapped themselves in the blanket. My dad tried talking to me about the video I was making, asking if it was through the school, and I got annoyed with him saying that it was an online competition. At some point I was trying to take a shot of a beautiful sunset to use in the background of my flying on top of Appa, but no one would help my film.

I woke up and we drove 2 hours to my uncle’s house, picking up my grandfather on the way there. We stayed for a while and talked and had food and went on a walk with my aunt and her service dog. I felt a little awkward the whole time. My aunt’s father (so I guess my great uncle?) showed up and told the same story he always tells whenever college is brought up, so pretty much every time we visit. He always says that when choosing your college major to make sure there are jobs available now. His friend went to college to make cabinets, and when he graduated, turns out no one wants professionally made cabinets. He tells that story all the time and shuts down any option I mention I had been thinking about for college. But eventually we left and drove another 2 hours back, getting Arby’s on the way back. There was a boy at the window and my sister thought he was Absolutely Scrumptious. We talked and talked on the way back, and I talked a lot because I got a soda in the drivethru and got a little hyper. I had a headache the whole drive.

When I got home I was just ready to lie down and play sdv and webkinz, so I did. I seriously considered buying the husky pup webkinz because 1) it’s the pet of the month and I’ve never owned one during its month and 2) I was looking for webkinz to buy back in like January to renew my full membership and that was one of the options I wanted and 3) I’m planning on making a nursery and I need a baby webkinz for that. I don’t think I’ll actually go thru with it tho. And while I was playing stardew, I took too long watering my field and missed the sdv fair event so I just reset the day and quit. I miss festivals more than I would like because I made my farm too big 😔 I really need to make more iridium sprinklers, but sometimes I forget to buy them from Krobus on fridays and I don’t have easy access to iridium in skull cavern because I die so easily. Im waiting until the end of year 2 for that statue grandpa gives you, but I’m still in the middle of fall. I DID complete the community center tho. >:) and I built a shed the other day perfectly tucked away in a nook behind the greenhouse (I’m on the forrest farm layout) and I used all the wood/copper/iron/oak resin I had saved up filling it with about 30 kegs, but I still need like triple that to fill it completely. Maybe I could make that my winter project.

I was just walking around my kitchen eating snacks at 1:30am and thinking about stardew and had an idea. Eric Barone (the creator) mentioned that at one point in development there was a cave farming mechanic where you could plant and harvest crops in the game. I was also thinking about how you can take the mineshaft directly to the 120th floor, but there’s nothing you can actually do down there. I was thinking about what if when you reach the bottom, you could hoe around or something and find an item called jagged rock or mysterious pebbles, and get a quest to bring it to Clint, since he knows blacksmithing and rocks n stuff. Maybe it’s labeled as a geode and when you go into the processing geodes menu and click it onto his anvil it doesn’t break, or maybe his hammer breaks instead. He tells you that he’s never seen rocks like these before and doesn’t know anything about stuff that far down in the mines. You’re prompted to find someone who knows about deep in the mines so you bring them to the dwarf, and he’s like “oh my! These aren’t rocks, they’re seed pods for rare plants farmed by my people before being attacked by the shadow people” (or skip Clint part and a cutscene begins with the dwarf as soon as you come up to the cave entrance) and he would bring you down to the bottom of the mines and reveal a secret chamber with like stalagmites and stalactites and dripping water. He tells you about how these plants take months and months to grow and are extremely sensitive to light, so they cannot grow outside this cave. You don’t have to come water it or anything, but it takes a full year to grow. You only get one seed and if you check on it throughout the year you get to see long vines grow and streatching over what was barren rock. It’s not like nice green lunch vibes, but grey scraggly thorny ones. Maybe bringing it different cave items twice a week like giving gifts to villagers can effect the quality of the fruit. Each quality would have different descriptions, the lowest saying how it’s inedible and desinagrates like ash in your hands. If you grow the highest quality one the dwarf is amazed and thanks you for reminding him of his family and home or something. A very moving scene. Or it could be revealed to be a star drop plant?? Idk. You could only grow one star drop tho, and the rest are just high-quality fruits that could be cooked into a really good everything filling dish. I’m just making stuff up as I go but I like this idea. If it turns out to be a star drop fruit plant, when you walk into the secret room for the first time with it ripe on the vine there’s a cutscene with the dwarf who can’t believe his eyes and the whole room is glowing slightly purple and with little purple sparkles everywhere. Moving scene yadda yadda. Eric take fucking notes. This scene could happen weather it was a star drop or not with some modifications.

I tried writing this entry throughout the day as it was happening, idk if it makes a difference, but I might do that more often. It leads to more rambling about whoever’s on my mind at the moment instead of just what I can remember from the day

[shanascarlett]

Thoughts on Hasbro Universe after Revolution

Im big fan of G.I. Joe/Transformers. But when I heard that there are more than 2 franhises in one universe, it blew my mind. So I decided to check out them. One of them I heard when I was kid.

Revolution was big. For some it was epic, other think it was mess. I understand why ppl love and hate it. Personally I love it. There’s conflict and how heroes unite against evil. It was the beggining of massive universe. So, how it turned out?

To be fair.... not so good.

Its my own opinion. You can disagree with me. If you love aftermath of Revolution, thats fine. I just want to tell about the conclusion of Hasbro Comic Book Universe.

Optimus Prime.

I think the writer put a lot of his view on life: disappointment on every religion. I really didnt like how he made that Optimus Prime is always wrong. Even when he listens and he does what he was asked to do, ppl still angry at him. “You should listened to me!” and “You shouldn’t listen to me!”. I love that they put Joes, but here’s the big issue: OOC of Mainframe and Flint with his daughter look similar the same age.

Remember when Trasnformers had the mystery of their religion and mythology? Mix of Sci-Fi and Cosmic Fantasy. Yeah, forget about that. It was all Shockwave’s evil plan. Another big disappointment for me.

I like how they described the ghost of Bumblebee, but Shockwave being one of 13 Primes looks very... confusion to me. 

Lost Light

Lost Light deserves to be called a weak sequel. Remember when in MTMTE was magic mystery, adventure, gore and development of characters and relationships? Here I found nothing. New characters for me are not interesting. And yes about them being “trans”. Im not transphobic and sorry if my opion might hurt you or offend. I just dont see transgenders in Transformers.  I dont see transformers suffering of gender dysphoria. Hell, I doubt they suffer of homophobia, bc they are totally fine with mlm and wlw. If you dont know, hetero relationships are for the population of Earth. And Transformers managed told that they can love each other, but their love is not like Earth’s bc they dont have to have sex to create life. They have strong emotion connection to each other.

Speaking about love. I love Chromedome/Rewind love story bc it was developed. We saw the birth of connection, loss, pain, reunion, fear and happiness. Same with Cyclonus and Tailgate. To be fair I dont ship the last two as romantic couple, but as platonic couple. For me they dont have that emotional connection like Chrome/Rewind but they care each other. In Lost Light nothing. You just accept that a lot characters are couple to each other. Why and how? Just accept it. This is why I dont feel emotional connection to Lug and Anode. To be fair I thought they are friend and Lug looks a lot like a boy. If they’d develop her more better, I think I’d like her. The whole Lost Light is just comics of couples. I was thinking when they’re gonna do the Orgy like in Ancient Rome.

Also here’s another disappointment in religion. Everything was lie. As I told earlier - I didnt like it. I’d rather to rewatch TFP, Bayverse or G1. BC I felt emptiness. MTMTE is masterpiece.

G.I. Joe

Where do I begin? Was written by socialist who doesnt know anything about military, ruined Quick Kick who was nice and gentle, made Scarlett an idiot, turned charasmatic Shipwreck into fat vegan, new characters have no backstory or reasons why they joined to Joes. Also: huge hypocricy. Scarlett says that G.I. Joe is now international team, but they refuse to work with USA. I get it they tried to turn G.I. Joe into Overwatch, but OW was working with every country. Including USA, where they had one of their headquarters. American G.I. Joe was more progressive bc they were helping every country who had deal with Cobra or any threat. They even teamed up with Russian soldiers.

The huge disappointment was no explanation about Snake Eyes rebirth (and no love story of Snake/Scarlett) and Quick Kick being an ass. Just check G.I. Joe ARAH show. There Quick Kick was nice. I miss that one....

The only good stuff was about Rock n’ Roll nightmares and guilt for shooting Grand Slam, grumpy Grand Slam and Doc being half-alien. Thats alll.

Revolutionaries

It was a bit better bc its literally crossover with conflict and backstories. Here they at least tried to make story interesting. And brought a lot interesting references. Especially to 90s: KLAW, Slaugther and even to original Action Force.

M.A.S.K.: Mobile Armored Strike Kommand

At 1st they tried but then it all felt down. I wouldnt call it horrible. You can check out 1st issues. I can say that only villains were interesting. While main heroes...  here’s the problem.

Original Matt Trekker was an engineer, millionaire, helped ppl and white. Why the last important? BC in reboot he became boring black guy who seeks vengeance for his father death and the main bad guy is white man. Im not racist bc I like how it was done in Spawn, but it wasnt so obvious who is the bad guy who just wants to take over the world. I get it you hate Trump. He is a clown.

Also original Trekker raises his son alone. So he is widowed. It could play in reboot: lost all, but tries to keep his son safe. So much potential for drama of lonely father. But we got what we got. I just go to rewatch Spawn animated series.

If they wanted “diverse” why they didnt put more poc characters from MASK? You know there are actual canon black man and indian man? Even native american man?

ROM

It was boring. 1st issues were interesting and brutal bc of alien invansion. You wouldnt know who is the enemy and who is the friend. But drama...

Whole Rom’s drama was about losing his humanity. At 1st we see him as cold-hearted alien. Then they all forget about it. Original Rom from Marvel was losing his humanity until he met brave girl Brandy who made him to remember his loss of homeplanet and love of his life. He was afraid to be alone and to be complete machine. And yes, in reboot his old girlfriend is alive. But I felt nothing with this. I prefer to read original comics bc I felt sorry for Rom.

Micronauts: Wrath of Karza

It was boring. The only thing I can remember is Larissa being Baron Karza’s daughter. I dont compare reboot with original series bc I havent read yet. I liked the new one bc of Baron Karza and his wife (and their fetish).

First Strike

Hoo- boy. It was bad. Preety bad. Not bc villains tried to destroy Cybertron. Not bc TF thought its gonna be war of humans and TF. No, it all was good. The main villain is Joe Colton who wants to destroy Cybertron to save Earth. And that he was bad from the beginning. His motivation sounds like Miles Mayhem from M.A.S.K.. That shock effect of surprise villain doesnt work here. It looks like disrespect to Joe fans. They managed to ruin Scarlett’s character who was turned into G.I. Joe not bc she was the best. She was in Joes bc she didnt do 50 push-ups. If you dont know, G.I. Joe is elite guard where they take the best men and women bc they do a lot dangerous work. So the whole story arc is full disrespect to Joe fan. I dont know about you, but I was offended by that.

Was there smth good? Team up of villains and the easter egg of Visionaries.

Rom vs. Transformers: Shining Armor

I almost forget about the plot bc it was boring. Rom was rude like every commander (yeah, for someone “losing humanity”). New character was boring. So everythng was boring. Even Autobots didint save the situation.

Rom & the Micronauts

Well, they at least tried with characters development. I really liked how characters interact with each other. But the whole story was “meh”

Scarlett's Strike Force

It was very short and cancelled. BC that writer Sitterson wrote offensive tweet about Nine Eleven. I get it what he was trying to do: to make comics based on cartoon G.I. Joe. This is why Quick Kick and Spirit fight against Storm Shadow. Personally I thought it was racist bc “only asian fight agains asian”. And Storm Shadow has the worst redesign I’ve ever seen. Theres nothing to talk about the comics bc its unfinished and cancelled. So theres nothing.

Transformers vs. Visionaries

This comic had potential. But the ending ruined it. The story is about colonization to save living race. But it will kill another nation. Its interesting theme. And how they managed? Nothing. For some reason everyone in peace and safe. The ending is just weird. I think writer didint know how to end that conflict so she wrote “everyone safe and in peace. Colonization is bad”. Not the ending is the problem. Main characters: Leoric and Virulina redesigned very strong. Leoric looks like total different character (why not to create new character? He looks good). And Virulina looks like student from art-school, not the villain. The redesigned I like are Cryotek and Arzon. And the art was very good.

The last 2 ones I havent finished yet. I can tell this: TAAO isnt look so bad, but I’m ready for disapointing ending, like TF Unicron.

In conclusion:

I dont tell that it was done horrible. Its just explains why IDW decided to reboot TF and G.I. Joe. Low sales. BC I’ve noticed a lot easter eggs in those comics for future story plots. I think they’d made it good if IDW would give them chance.

If you love them, thats fine. I’ll enjoy my own version of Hasbro Universe.

[sabraeal]

Merry and Bright: Part 2

Shirayuki awakens in freefall, promptly brought to an unpleasant end by her whole body slapping against the bedroom floor.

She groans; she’s not hurt besides the angry sting of where her skin hit hardwood, but her pride is certainly wounded. The last time she fell out of a bed, she must have been in the single digits. She better not be coming down with something; vertigo is one of those symptoms that makes WebMD speculate about brain tumors and lupus, and she just doesn’t need that kind of stress three months into her PhD.

She levers herself up onto her knees, blearily peering up at the clock on the bedside table. The numbers swim in her vision for a long moment before the first settles into a glaring red seven. It’s far too early to be functioning, and she’s clearly disoriented by it; this hardly even looks like her room –

Obi lets out a loud huff, hand flopping over the edge of the bed, and she is abruptly aware that this is not her room, and that they are not in their apartment. This is Obi’s old room, untouched since the night her left. And this is not her bed, but –

She scrambles to her feet, staring down at the broad expanse of Obi’s back, the long spread of his limbs – and rolls her eyes. No wonder she ended up on the floor.

“Obi.” She shoves at his side, prodding fingers into his ribs. Her hardly budges. “Obi, come on, you can’t take up the whole bed.”

He grunts into the pillows, hunkering further into the mattress.This is a lost cause.

Shirayuki snatches his hoodie from the chair, shrugging it over her shoulders as she shuffles to the stairs. Even from the top landing she catches the rich scent of coffee and the savory smell of bacon. Her stomach growls, reminding her it’s been a long while since she last ate, and it was only some chicken bites and a biscuit from when they detoured through the rest area for dinner.

(”You’re killing me,” he tells her, pulling out of the drive through. “I didn’t even know there was a non-fried option on the menu.”

“It looked like the healthiest thing.” She pops one in her mouth and is assaulted by salt. She’s hungry enough that she likes it. “They’re roasted.”

“Doc, the whole thing comes with fries and a biscuit.” He glances at her disapprovingly before gunning it onto the highway. “There’s not a thing about that place that’s healthy.”

“Oh, you can have mine, by the way,” she tells him. “The fries I mean.”

He sighs. “Just feed me my dirty rice.”)

She hesitates. It feels strange to go see Bob and Gayle without him. They’re not her family, and she – she doesn’t know if he would be comfortable with her talking with them. Especially talking with them about him. She doesn’t know what he wants them to know or, more importantly, not know.

The decision is abruptly made for her when a black and tan puffball plants itself at the bottom of the stairs and howls.

“Oh, Shirayuki, honey!” Gayle calls up. “Is that you?”

She grimaces, trying to glare at the dog but – it’s just too cute. She can’t blame it for being excited. “Yes.”

“I wasn’t sure if you’d be up.” Gayle’s voice gets closer as she makes her way to the kitchen, tiny dog in tow. “There’s pancakes warming in the oven, ig you’re hungry for them.”

“There’s enough to feed an army,” Bob informs her over the top of the paper.”

Gayle snaps her head around to scold, but Shirayuki says, “Oh good, just enough for Obi.”

The two of them exchange a glance before laughter bubbles out. “True enough,” Bob admits. “Make sure you leave enough.”

“I see you’ve met the Baron.” Gayle nods to her tiny shadow.

“Oh, yes.” She glances down at the fluff curled below her chair. “We met on the stairs.”

“He’s friendly,” she assures Shirayuki, as if the light puppy-snores were not a ringing endorsement for his personality.

“Even friendlier if you bribe him with bacon.”

“Bob.” Gayle send her husband a warning look. Bob, for his part, only winks over the tech section.

“Did you sleep well?” Gayle asks, casual, and Shirayuki feels her shoulders tense.

(“Is this all right?” Obi asks the skin of her neck, his hand hot against her stomach, his belly curving along her spine. There’s nothing for it, she knows, he’s taller than the mattress is long, it’s the only way they’ll fit –

She swallows hard. “Yeah, that’s fine.”)

“Yes.” She rubs at her eyes, hisses as she hits a bump on her nose.

(“OW,” she hisses, clutching her face. Obi startles, his eyes slitting open as he moves his elbow away. He’s taken up half the bed by now, Shirayuki only holding onto the last bastion by the pillows. “Why?”

“Sorry,” he slurs, not sounding the least bit sincere. She rolls up onto her knees, leaning over him.

“How have you had people in your bed before?” she asks, annoyed. “Did you just hide the bodies?”

“Well, Doc,” he drawls sleepily, stretching so that the cotton of his shirt rubs against her palms. “We weren’t exactly sleeping.”)

“As well as could be expected,” Shirayuki amends awkwardly. Bob chokes a little on his coffee, and she realizes there is a whole category of other reasons she might not have gotten enough sleep.

Obi really needs to explain some things.

Gayle levels a glare over her shoulder at her husband. “We weren’t sure if you’d make it to breakfast,” she says. “We weren’t sure if you were an early bird or a…”

“Whatever Obi is,” Bob finished, his mouth lifted up in the corner.

“Did he sleep late when he was here?” she asks.

“I’d faint from shock if he managed to locate an hour before ten,” Gayle laughed, handing her a plate of pancakes and bacon. “Coffee?”

“Ah, no, none for me please.” She takes the plate, wondering what Obi’s – what Bob and Gayle would say if they knew that he regularly taught the eight am section of Shidan’s class. What they would think if they knew he said better to get it over with earlier than later.

Gayle gives her a long look as she digs into her breakfast. It’s delicious, melting on her tongue. “You’re a cocoa girl, aren’t you?”

She blinks. “If you have it…”

“Of course.” Gayle bustles about the kitchen with purpose. “One of our girls – Kelly Ann, you’ll meet her today – she’s a cocoa girl too. Always have to keep the good stuff around for her.”

“And now you,” Bob prompts with an absent smile.

“And now you,” Gayle agrees. “I’m glad you decided to come.”

“Me too.” Shirayuki swallows her bite of pancakes. “It’s good that Obi –”

“No, no, honey,” Gayle puts a hand on her shoulder, and it’s as loving and warm as Shirayuki remembers her own grandmother’s being. “I’m glad you came. I’m sure being back here is going to be…hard for Obi. But knowing he’s found himself a girl that wants to stay by his side for something like this…I’m glad he’s done so well for himself. He was all rough edges when he came here.”

“He had more than a few of those when we met,” Shirayuki admits with a grin.

Gayle’s hand squeezes her gently. “And it speaks leagues about you that you took him as he was.”

“It’s….um….” Shirayuki takes the cocoa offered to her absently, staring down into the whipped cream. “I…”

“I’m looking forward to getting to know you better, Shirayuki.” Gayle smiles, glancing back at her husband. “We both are.”

“…Great.” Shirayuki takes a sip of her cocoa. It’s the best she’s ever tasted.

 The humming won’t stop.

Obi reaches out a hand, slapping at the beside table that isn’t fucking there. He lifts his head, blearily searching the room, only – it’s not his.

More accurately, it isn’t his anymore.

He groans, dropping his head into the pillow. It’s coming back to him now: Christmas, Bob and Gayle, twelve hours of driving to gets across the Carolinas, Doc in his bed…

Oh god. Shirayuki is sleeping in his bed.

The hum starts up again.

Oh right, his phone. His phone is going off. That makes sense. That is a thing that makes sense, unlike any of the other things running through his head right now.

He flicks the screen open, and there are just a fuckton of texts, all from Zen. Because of course, of course the only way to start of his stressful family vacation is with guilt.

“Ugh, mother fucker,” he moans before rolling onto his back, scrolling through about a thousand single-period texts before he finds one from late last night.

Did you guys get in okay?

ru fukn srs rn?

Is that English? Should I be able to read that? At least I know you’re alive now

ur a fukn siko w ur prds get a lyf man im not a frm u cant just bmp a topic wtf im alive slept well just got up

Is Shirayuki up too? I haven’t heard back from her

i dunno i dont c her in bed so prob

He has just enough time to be aware of how stupid he is before Zen texts him back.

What do you mean you don’t see her in bed??? Are you sleeping in the same bed????? OBI???????

g2g brkfst

[tumblunni]

Baron omatsuri and the secret island traumatizes me yet again, hooray!

Ok wow that was a nostalgia blast! Finally goddamn have a physical copy of this thing to own. Its never been dubbed and the only way to get it was this weird manga UK licensed reprint of a bunch of (i think) hong kong english subtitles. The style of the subtitles looks like that, at least. Its all weird and grainy and very very old fashioned early days of subtitling style, which contrasts completely with the modern dvd menus and box and stuff. And its also a weird combination disc of four different movies, it seems they just bought out a licensing package deal or something? And just baked it onto the disc without checking or editing anything. Its not really a funny sort of bad subtitles though, its just awkward phrasings of thibgs that are hard to understand or random typos or whatever, no legendarily hilarious stuff. I kinda dislike it more when subtitles are like this, when theyre like...actually written by a guy who speaks fluent english but he just never watched the actual movie so theres a bunch of rookie mistakes. Also has a strange case of what you usually only see on fansubs- the obsession with leaving everything in japanese to Sound Cool. Nah we cant call them the Tea Party Pirates we have to say the japanese word for that. Nah we cant have this man say mustache when he's doing the mustache pose and talking about his crew of entirely mustache men who all do this mustache pose NO it has to be Chobehige because its somehow deep and edgy to not understand the word for mustache. Like i feel if i was watching this sub first i would have no idea what was happening! At least its not as bad as that older sub i saw where they insisted on translating friends as "crew", even when it was llike..a singular. This one man is my crew and here are all my other crews! Like i feel like that subber probably originally did that dumb old fandom thing of INSISTING that you had to say Nakama in japanese and Capitalized and it was a Very Important japanese word for specifically pirate friends that was Impossible To Translate. And then they just did a ctrl + F replace on the whole thing and made an incomprehensible mess. Also for some reason sanji just yells DOCTOR out of nowhere (chopper wasnt even in the scene) and baron omatsuri's one syllable "oh" is translated as some long string of what seems to be baseball jargon..?

But ANYWAY the movie is still fuckin awesome and i actually noticed EVEN MORE dark shit and subtle storytelling that i missed when i was a kid! The whole 'small child zombie stares blankly at the place where a sword stabbed through his chest and cant understand why he got back up' scene is EVEN MORE emotionally destructuve than i thought! Cos the subtlety of the voiceacting seems to make the poor kid sound so tired and resigned to it? He's desperately asking and his father figure feeds him the same old lies he's done a million times about how he's totally still alive and everything is fine. Like wow i missed that inplication that this has happened before! And then he kinda sounds like he's actually aware that Baron is lying and he's just pretending to believe him to make him feel better. And then he starts turning back into a corpse and he doesnt panic like muchigoro or not realize whats happening like the grandpas do. He just looks straight at his hand falling apart and tries to lie to Baron to make him feel better. *long shot of him from behind before you see whats happened* "I'm just feeling dizzy again. I've got used to it." *him staring blankly at his body falling apart, not even capable of feeling sad about it anymore* "Don't worry...i've got used to it." *thud*

Like FUCKING HELL this film is the best damn existential horror thing ever and why the FUCK did they market it as a fun happy kids film? it probably would have been way more successful if the twist wasnt kept all twisty, honestly.

And also WOW YEAH theres a lot of stuff thats the subtlest goddamn storytelling in the universe and youd never notice unless you watched this film a million times like i did! Like during the intro when everythibg still seems all fun and cute and normal, the advert for the Totally Innocent Not A Trap Super Secret Island Resort is being read over some random shots of waves and stuff. But then right near the end you see those same shots again and it becomes clear that it was literally the view from Baron's eyes as he was falling from the ship and drowning, desperately trying to keep his head above water and strain his eyes to see if anyone else had survived. All the moments that just looked like camera cuts were actually when his head fell beneath the waves. Thats fuckin amaizng you straight up showed the ending in the beginning and we didnt notice????

Oh and also right before THE FUCKIN TERRIFYING MUCHIGORO DEATH SCENE you see him casually mention being 'sleepy' a few scenes earlier. It just passes by without notice and you think that he's just drunk until he suddenly starts going from comedic slurring to fucking asphixiating and the SKIN ON HIS FINGERS PEELING OFF. Oh hey! Another thing i didnt notice before! FUCKING THAT. A fun game for you on your rewatch! Looking out to find the secret finger horror! Ha ha ha...ha...

Also MAN OH WOW all the subtle signs of Baron getting more desparate throughout the movie and how it seems the time limit for the zombies was almost up and he had to kill these specific pirates right now because he couldnt spare even a few more hours. In retrospect it makes sense how he was slipping up and leaving evidence for the heroes to figure him out. And its just so subtly offputting and strange how he goes from making a big fun performance about the festival early on and then starts subtky rushing through the formalities faster. Like you dont eveb conciously notice the tone is changing until suddenly BAM the full change happens and you realise you missed all those signs! And aaaa its so fuckin sad how you see him come running when muchigoro drops dead and he's like fuckin GET OUT OF THE WAY DAMMIT and kneels down next to the body and theb he just..turns emotionless again and goes ITS TIME FOR THE NEXT CHALLENGE. It is time. Its now. Shut the fuck up and do it, i dont have time to deal with this shit, just die so i can bring my friend back. (Tho of course you dont know thats why at the time) And then whats most jarring about the whole scene to me is how he's like "okay fuck it theres no more fun theres no more attractions, if youre not gonna play along then the final game is just i shoot your damn head off" WHILE YKNOW STILL STANDING OVER THE CORPSE OF HIS FRIEND AND STARING DAGGERS INTO THEM LIKE ITS THEIR FAULT FOR DARING TO CLING ONTO LIFE and then a fuckin half finished hapoy fun carnival game sign pops up in the backgroubd and everyone walks past it. Why was that somehow both hilarious and terrifying????? Just fuckin 'whoops we had this thing ready to go but alright its murder time i guess' and everyone IS SUDDENLY PACKING HEAT AND RIDDLING OUR HEROES WITH BULLETS???

And also even more subtly Baron just?? Stays with muchigoro?? Like notice how the entirety of the endgame takes place around where the dude dropped dead. And how when mustache pirate guy saves luffy you see Baron just walking in circles around the same area angrily shooting arrows at nothing in complete desperation even though the dude is gone and itd make more sense to run after him. No he stays standing right there and actually looks really damn relieved when luffy comes back, he's like 'holy shit you really were stupid enough to walk right into my trap jesus christ im so glad but also youre a dumbass'. And he fights entirely using arrows at this point so you might not even notice that he barely walks more than just circling a two meter radius of fuckin DEAD BEST FRIEND CORPSE. Which btw blends intonthe shadows for this entire scene and they only draw attention it again after Baron wibs and muchigoro comes back to life. And UGH MY HEART you see him smile genuinely for the firstvtime and he's like 'im so glad youre okay' and muchigoro is like 'haha im more than okay i can do somersaults!' and generally being a FUCKING TREASURE and this poor fuckin horrible evil man is hugging his buddy and gently leading him away from the battlefield so he doesnt norice he was just fuckin murdering some dudes to ressurect him. God the scariest damn thing about this film is how the zombies dont know theyre zombies and honestky they probably wouldnt even agree with their boss's plan to kill people to keep them alive. They justvthink they live a perfectly normal happy life on hapoy festival island, and he wants them to stay that way and never feel pain again :(

Aaaaand then yeah the infamous scene of revealing this horrifying intestines flower is growing out of the flesh on his back and all the corpses its digesting are pushed against the undulating flesh of its throat like a snake devouring its prey. And its cutesy fake flower face grows infinate eyes as it just keeps laughing and laughing. And then it gets graphically blown apart and the poor goddamn parasite host tries to shove the bloody instestines back into its body, knowing that without this horrifying monster chewing on his goddamn veins all his friends will go back to being dead.

THE END

THE FUCKING END

God it ends so abruptly seriously

I still cry my eyes out every time at the ending monologue of Baron dying and meeting all the souls of his dead friends and theyre crying telling him he shouldnt be here, they wish he'd been able to find another reason to live without him...

And then THE END

JAUNTY MUSIC OVER THE CREDITS

THE FUCKIN END I GUESS

What a great but very oddly executed movie. Seriously i feel it could have worked better if it was given space to breathe and more deeply explore the dark themes rather than the weirdness of trying to fool the audience into thinking it was cheerful and innocent. Like all of this shit happens in the last 30 minutes of the movie! They spend 60 minutes on the fun carnival games! What a strange sense of priorities!!

I WOULD DEVOUR A MILLION HOURS MORE OF DEEP SAD ZOMBIE CONTENT

I am like the Lily of fanfics

Oh yeah btw the horrifying deadly elder god spine parasite thing is named Lily and it looks pretty much exactly like flowey from undertale. This film kinda spoiled me for that game LOL ive never trusted a single talking flower ever since!