#Im so sleepy but hes plaguing me i know im rambly but i fear i could characterize him wrong like this but i dont know i see him sometimes.

[lesbianraskolnikov]

I think too much about my rodya i will be his biggest defender. Ever.... everrrrr....

[ship-ambrosia]

When the King Falls

Random thing I wrote a couple days ago thanks to @sweetmemories2606 hitting me with feels over her writing and @a-fairy-tail44 for always encouraging me. And I’m so done with working on this paper lmao im so late in posting this for no particular reason

so fair warning, this is angsty. love me some good tormented natsu. i really do love him, i swear!

 “How barbaric!”

  No. Why?

  Natsu looked around himself, though he knew exactly where he was. How could he forget? The events themselves had only transpired a few days before. He found himself in that hallway of Mercurius Palace. He felt the same exhaustion, the same sweat, the same fatigue settling into his bones from all the fighting he’d had to do. It had all been worth it to save his best friend, of course. But it was what would ultimately cause him to fail when she needed him the most.

  “Why do you have to kill them?” Carla’s shrill plea snapped him back into place, like a cruel person had paused the scene just for Natsu to remember what he was about to witness. “Why can’t you just talk to them about it, to change their mind?”

  “Because,” the familiar voice of Rogue Cheney snarled from a few feet in front of Natsu, where he was standing covered slightly by the shadows. Except it wasn’t the Rogue he knew. It was a sick and twisted man who had lost his mind after losing Frosch and killed his best friend in order to steal his magic. “It doesn’t matter. Even if I could change their mind, they’re still going to close the gate. Fate has decided that for them, and it isn’t going to change. They have to die.”

  He knew what was going to happen, and he could stop it this time. He didn’t need to listen to the ramblings of this mad man. They weren’t true. They didn’t matter. He shouldn’t be giving him any time! But no matter what he thought, his feet wouldn’t move. He could just attack him now, damn it! He wouldn’t have to... watch her die again-!

  “Well, who is it?” Wendy asked.

  No, not again. Not again, please!

  Natsu’s heart constricted in his chest as he watched shadows fused within the future Rogue’s hand. He wound his arm back, fury and hate burning in his eyes. And then he roared the worst words that Natsu had ever heard in his life, words that already haunted him and he was sure he would never forget.

  “It is you! Lucy Heartfilia!”

  His feet still wouldn’t move when he wanted them to; if he had been just half a step further ahead, he might have been able to stop it. To protect Lucy when he had previous failed. But again, his fingers just barely grazed the shadowy arrow that was level with her heart. He looked back and read the same fear in her eyes as before.

  He was her courage, her confidence, her assurance that everything would always be okay. And he couldn’t save her.

  The splatter of blood. Happy was crying. Wendy screamed. Natsu felt his whole body begin to tremble again. A familiar sensation as dread crawled over him. His Lucy didn’t die, but he was still forced to watch the life drain from the person he cared about most in the world.

  He couldn’t even speak. He listened as Lucy cradled the body of her future self, yelling at the Rogue of the future how wrong he was. Still, Natsu remained silent, the fury building in him like a growing flame. Finally though, their enemy made his intention to ensure Lucy was dead; it brought his rage to a blaze.

  “I’ll burn your destiny to ash!” He bellowed as Natsu’s arm lit on fire, and he blasted the future Rogue with an intense flame. The attack itself pushed the other man nearly 20 feet back. He took the opportunity to step between Lucy and Rogue, effectively cutting him off from any more attacks. Tears were running down his cheeks again, like they did the first time, so bitter and cold that he felt they were real. “I won’t let anyone take away Lucy’s future! Not while I’m alive! I swear it!”

  With a gasp, Natsu sat up in his bed, immediately ripping himself from the nightmare. Why would his body torment him like this? He reached up and touched his face. Yep, he had been crying in his sleep.

  “Damn it,” he muttered.

  “Hey Natsu,” a sleepy voice told him he’d woken up Happy. “Are you okay?”

  He sighed. “Just a dream, little buddy. Sorry.”

  “Tonight’s the night the king is throwing that fancy ball for all the guilds, isn’t it?” Happy yawned, but sat up “Are you gonna go Natsu?”

  “I mean, I know I don’t do very well at those kinds of things, but everyone else is going so I’d be dumb not to.” He chuckled a bit.

  Besides, this feeling curled in his gut recently the past days, to always know where his partner was and what sort of shape she was in. He didn’t think he could skip the ball even if he wanted to.

  Although, if he was as plagued by images of future Lucy’s death as it seemed, certainly Lucy had to be even more. She’d literally watched herself die.

  Natsu got an idea for livening up the party. He would make everyone, who had all suffered while fighting the dragons, smile and laugh again.

  “I can’t believe you aren’t in handcuffs and being led to the dungeons of Mercurius Palace right now,” Lucy said sarcastically as she walked back to their hotel rooms with Natsu after the party. Her words were a bit harsh, but her tone was light. There was a smile on her face.

  “For what, putting the king’s clothes on? For putting the crown on myself? Come on, he’s cool! He knows I’m good!”

  “I think the no punishment comes more from Princess Hisui knowing that we have you alone to thank for defeating the dragons,” she smiled gratefully toward him. “I’m not surprised, certainly.”

  Natsu looked away, for once not responding to her praise.

  “Natsu, I-“ she paused, before rethinking her words. “When you went to take the king’s crown... you did that for our benefit didn’t you? You wanted to make us all laugh, and forget about everything that had happened, if only for a little bit. I know you.”

  He looked up at her, a bit shocked. “Lucy...”

  “Hey I’m your partner! Of course I can figure out these things!” She exclaimed, pouting. “I’ve been really bummed, about everything. About Yukino, about the games, about everything that happened when I stared down the dragons. I was so scared, Natsu. But I still felt the whole time... that you’d succeed. You would beat the dragons, because you always come through.”

  “I don’t always,” he mumbled.

  “Huh?”

  “I haven’t always succeeded,” he repeated louder. “I’ve failed. I’ve failed you. And that is the worst feeling in the world, Lucy.”

  She considered his words for a minute, before a smile graced her face. The smile caught him off guard, and Natsu blushed a little in its presence. It was the same smile she’d given him on Tenrou Island.

  I won’t leave you. Besides, everything’s more fun when we’re together!

  Lucy stepped closer to him. She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. “It’s better that you don’t always win, Natsu. Otherwise you’d be too perfect, and you wouldn’t need me around, don’t you think? But I’m here. I’m here for you, because you’re hurting too. I can see it.”

  He blushed more and looked to his feet. Lucy was... amazing. How was she able to figure all of that out without him saying a word about it?

  Before she could do anything further, Natsu reached out and brought Lucy to his chest. He hugged her closed, wrapping his arms tightly around her back. She made a little sound of surprise, but slowly wrapped herself around his torso too. Natsu nuzzled his cheek into her hair, resting his chin on her shoulder.

  His Lucy was very much alive.

  “Thank you,” he whispered while he embraced her.

  What would he ever do with her? Where would he be if he hadn’t met her in Hargeon and brought her to Fairy Tail, or even hadn’t asked her to be his partner? There was no future he could see without Lucy by his side.

  He knew his future self had only died protecting future Lucy, he had read it in her eyes that night when she saw him. And frankly, he really would do it again. He loved this girl with all of his heart.