#Im so fucking dumb and stupid. I don't do anything right. I have no passion. No energy. I'm lazy as can be. Can't get a job. Can't hold a

[theood]

Lol

[r1caner]

is this a safe space to admit that I hate Henry Cheng.

like probably more than I've hated any other fictional character that isn't intentionally an antagonist.

FIRST OF ALL. lets just get it out of the way. ill acknowledge im a freak about bluesey so bluechengsey and it's rampantness makes me want to kill myself.

BUT. I just hate that bitch I don't know he feels like a watered down more dickish version of gansey.

Plus the way he was written im not the biggest fan of but its not his fault. I won't hold it against him but it doesn't mean I love him for it either.

idk I feel like he was introduced sort of late and he was so unnecessary.

Plus I just have such a bone to pick that blue actually likes him. her ass isn't going to the next town over with that bitch much less Venezuela. I feel like she was just written to like him because what? he helped her and the group? because hes sort of like gansey?

the thing about gansey and blue is that gansey is the OPPOSITE of what blue would like, and what she THINKS she would like. that's why the transition from her liking Adam to gansey is so significant. Adam is who she's expected to like because hes like her. because its what she thought, too. but gansey has a way of surprising people, sneaking up on them with his goodness.

actually, genuinely liking gansey happens because of the small things that make him him. and it happens pretty slow. she only really finds things she's fond of or interested in about him most of the way through the first book. halfway through the second she's only acknowledging he has a nice mouth and he's one of her raven boys. in the same way that RONAN is (who she is never romantically involved with and only [at least at that point] barely friends with [which makes me upset more Ronan blue scenes!!!!!]) and of course she's starting to harbor romantic feelings for gansey but like. of Course she is. curse and their mutual understanding of wanting to see more and be more and their connections with magic and each other that they're building.

and you expect me to believe Blue starts liking Henry (now I mean this in the way of liking him enough to be friends with him but it can also be interpreted romantically because its even MORE crazy and extreme [IN A BAD WAY] in that sense) after like two times of meeting him and one of those being at a stupid fucking toga party with a bunch of dickheads? Nah. she only went to that and imo only enjoyed herself because of gansey. because that's his effect.

its the things that make gansey gansey that draws blue to him. its his passion about glendower and doing what's right - his whole fucking quest for glendower came to him because he was told it as he was dead/dying/coming back to life, because he felt there was an injustice that his life was given to him while another was unfairly taken. he has this passion that makes him who he is, which is so probably what sets him apart from the freaks at aglionby.

(sidenote - everything about what gansey has experienced makes him the version of himself that he is which is why it's hard to believe he would be the way he is in any other scenario or universe. the things we go through change us, especially when those things include dying and being met with terrifying forces of energy and magic. Helen turned out okay but also she is older than he is and I hate to say it a woman. Not to be a crazy man hater but lets be real I feel like we would all be worse people had we been obscenely rich teenage boys surrounded by the likes of kavinsky and those people. could easily be terrible.)

gansey is imperfect and he fucks up a lot but it's not out of some insistence to be like the other boys he's around. hes just kind of dumb. so intelligent but so dumb. he's rich and he's 70 in a 17 year old body and he's overly friendly and polite and sounds like old money and doesn't really understand anything else. its the way he is and its so GANSEY like there's no other way to describe it. he is gansey and he is so interesting. because of how he hides himself because of how he is a million things at once at how he can not grasp what exactly to do or say but be so understanding because of his kindness because of his passion. that's why blue likes him, that's why basically everybody likes him. and gansey likes everybody, talks to everybody, so he likes and talks to Henry.

but why would the rest of them, ESPECIALLY blue?

Henry is just that watered down, less interesting version of gansey - intelligent but dumb, rich and overly friendly - but without all of the things that make him interesting or good. hes loud and not in a fun way. hes in your face and hes helpful but it doesn't suddenly make him less annoying or more enjoyable to be around. and especially consider the people he surrounds himself with lol. he didn't have a great upbringing (as far as I remember) BUT REMEMBER WHO RAISED ADAM FUCKING PARRISH LIKE BE FOR REAL.

it makes no sense that blue would like him. Like sure hes not a dirtbag like some other raven boys, like kavinsky or anybody. but hes not one of blue's boys.

idk it really irks me when people include him in gangsey OR WORSE replace Noah with him. Grinds my freaking gears. Noah's my guy my boy

but I don't know im in the process of rereading so maybe ill miraculously like him when im reintroduced ( ijbol🤣!).

[cottoncandyjester]

Little HC I have:

☆Monday keeps Rin all dumb and drooling just so he won't bother with his horniness while they do important stuff, poor BB has to take care of that stuff.

Monday would totally use this to get Rin to do things like helping with chores, if you clean I fuck you until you can barely walk.

☆When Wednesday helps someone he makes them kiss him at least 5 times before he starts making his damm job, is his way to get energy, tbh at this point he just acts like he is everyone's boyfriend.

☆Friday and Thursday make everyone watch anime with them, Im sorry if they don't want to see JJBA or Princess Tutu, they have to now, and when is their turn to put some music they would make everyone listen to Vocaloid.

☆BB gets a lot more of help now since Monday makes everyone on his team help with chores, even he helps, things like cooking, cleaning, taking care of someone who is sick, etc.

Since Sunday is the most calm and since he is not very fond of violence he is the one that helps BB the most, he won't shut up about how sweet/beautiful BB is.

☆When Saturday is not doing his clown act he likes to sit in Tiny's lap and tell him all the gossip he heard that day, judging people, making fun of them, is just his way of bonding!. (Well fucking with the gang is another way of bonding I guess).

☆Clover is Friday's perfect nap buddy, he would make her take naps with him after lunch, she is so soft and warm, is not his fault, but I don't think anything sexual will happen bc Friday is asexual.

Rin being the horny monster he is would absolutely take Monday up on all his offers to fuck, he just really likes sex. As far as doing chores yeah he would be super pouty and bratty about it being like “as leader this isn’t fair” but he will still do it cause good dick makes rin kinda stupid.

Wednesday would annoy the absolute fuck out of bubbles with all the small kisses so instead of five kisses he’ll just grab him by his shirt and just give him one very steamy kiss and probably be like “there,now help me. Right now.” I’m talking like sloppy passionate kiss then he’ll just leave him right when it’s getting really good. Tiny would absolutely lose his mind after the second kiss getting all shaky and flustered before hiding his face.

I can totally see all the members watching anime with Friday and Thursday. Rin would adore JJBA solely for the violence and big buff men, bubbles would question everything, clover wouldn’t really understand but she’s happy that everyone is together and enjoying it, poor BB would be so confused with the family tree that he has to write it all down just to understand..it would be an adventure.

BB would absolutely love all the help he can get since he treats everyone, cooks, cleans and make sure no one kills each other. Clover helps but she is pretty ditzy and tends to grab the attention of the other members so she’s usually busy..entertaining them. Whoever is helping BB will absolutely receive so much love and care like he is showering them with affection and praise even if they mess up. He’ll say things like “I really needed you” or “you’re truly amazing, know that?” Just sweet wholesome stuff

Sunday would break BB with the praise, he would be so flustered and wouldn’t stop grinning and laughing shyly at the praise since he’s so used to taking care of others he’s not used to receiving praise. I can totally see him rewarding Sunday with soft cheek kisses and sweet words of praise and love. He’ll definitely want Sunday to help lore often

Tiny absolutely loves to listen to Saturday talk and he’ll just pet his head and let him rant, he’ll chime in if he has something to say or is asked something but if not he’s usually silent. He adores having Saturday in his lap and when he has low energy he’ll find the male and just hug him close wanting him to just talk or just sit in his lap again

Clover being the chubby beauty she is would be so soft to nap with, like so warm and just cuddly and she always smells sweet and good. She will absolutely take naps with Friday when she’s not busy, totally see them cuddling together just sleeping all day.

[tokyoghoose]

am i more than you bargained for?

pairing: tetsuro kuroo x reader

playlist: heather - conan gray*, 4ever - clairo, line without a hook - ricky montgomery, melting - kali uchis, slow dancing in the dark - joji, using you - mars argo, she - ed sheeran, make you feel my love - adele, letter home - childish gambino, she's casual - the hunna, i love you so - the walters, notice me (acoustic) - role model, red dress - postcard boy

warnings: angst and lots of it, mentions of sex, mentions self-shaming of image, very breif mention of anxiety attacks

summary: a romantic comedy without the comedy between friends with benefits

announcements!

kuroo is definitely a little ooc in this lmao buuuut this is my first like fic fic in like two years. Im still trying to get back in the groove of things and finding how to write personality again and not be repetitive with my wording. Feedback is welcome!

requests are open! feel free to send them in! i will write for pretty much any anime ive seen and if i haven't seen it, ill watch it! the only reasons i wouldn't is if im uncomfortable or can't write the character. :)

——————

When did relationships become so difficult? The days of making friends on the playground were over and it seemed to hit everyone at the same age. Life was getting harder and people were getting older, and suddenly everything was difficult. Nothing came easy anymore and everyone had to adjust to that.

But now you were just confused.

Tetsuro kuroo stuck to you like glue since middle school. Where one of you went the other was likely to follow. The righthand man, the double trouble duo, and the bane of kenma's existence. And then things got complicated. Strangers to friends to best friends to lovers— friends with benefits. Who would've thought the boy that you played volleyball with on a whim would've become the man who you grew fond of. Sixth grade you would've kicked yourself for the feelings you're experiencing. Oh how you wished you were back in the park that started it all. You wished you could warn your youngerself what's to come.

The realization hit you like a ton of bricks and it made you want to throw up at the thought.

It started in the first year of highschool when you suddenly noticed the shine in his eyes when he talked passionately about something like volleyball or the way he would furrow his brows when concentrated on his assignments. At first it was endearing, really. But the more you hung around him, the stronger the butterflies felt. It was obvious that he had grown into his lanky body. His legs were proportionate to his torso now and his once scrawny arms didn't hang limply at his sides anymore. He had muscle and height now. Gradually you started to notice little things about him that you would never have seen in other people. Like his lopsidded smile that crinkled the corner of his eyes and brought heat to your cheeks, your stomach launching into your chest when he'd bump shoulders and laugh.

You should've just smacked yourself silly then and there when you started to wonder if he noticed little things about you. Does he think of me like i think of him?

Who knew feelings could be so...perplexing. You moved on, shrugging off the crush in your second year to catch bigger and better fish in the sea. Life moved on and you dated other people, simply remaining friends with kuroo. Little did you know one heartbreak would lead you into his bed, playing in the sheets by the end of the year.

He was just so damn compelling. His laughter and his jokes. You fell for it all over again. Deja vu. Stupid kuroo.

———

The third of highschool had been the breaking point. It was a constant cycle of feeling, fucking, and falling in and out of love with the raven haired boy. It was frustrating, especially when he was so damn oblivious. The only person that seemed to catch on was kenma, but he was very little help when it came to pushing away the domestic thoughts. It would never just work out because you wanted it to because tetsuro was dumb.

It's a chilly day out, the sun nice against your skin but the wind was drastic in comparison. Shivers are sent up and down your spine, you wrap your arms around yourself in a hug. Could this boy take any longer? Foot tapping against the pavement, you heave a sigh, nostils flaring impatiently before you spot the tall athlete. With a girl. A girl?

You'd seen her around before and you vaguely remember thinking she resembled the main love interest in a 90s movie or a bratz doll. She's pretty and has a light, airy laugh. Kuroo must've told her a joke of some kind, but he definitely wasn't funny enough for her to have her hands all over his chest. He's giving her a toothy grin and soft eyes. It makes you want to gag.

Who was she anyway?

Not that it mattered because in that moment the fit of rage your body suddenly flug itself into prevented you from hearing anything. Kuroo's pulling off his pullover and drapping it over the pretty girl's shoulders. You can feel your eye twitch and fibgers tingle. He looks bashful as he waves her goodbye and tragically, you don't feel nearly as pretty as you had been feeling. Now all you wanted to do was sink into the ground below you and possibly into another dimension—or at least the other side of the world.

"She's pretty," is the first thing that comes out of your mouth when he comes over, slouching with his hands in the pockets of his shorts. He had practice this afternoon, you remember. He looks over at you with raised brows, almost like he's surprised yoy said anything or even noticed he was talking to another girl before walking towards the gym with you trailing close behind.

"Yeah she is, I guess."

She's prettier than me.

"You guess? Kuroo, you gave her your sweater."

He shrugs sheepishly, a light pink dusting his cheeks and it makes you mad of uncharacteristic the act is. You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

"It's just polyester. It's not a big deal."

The conversation suddenly drops as you pause, apparently very hurt that he didn't remember it was you who gave him the sweater in the first place. He turns around, a questioning look on his face.

"What? Are you jealous?" He teases.

You're fuming at his attempt to be playful. Maybe you were overreacting, but it pangs your chest to know he can brush it off so easily.

" Kuroo, that was my sweater. "

It's gritted through your teeth, eyes slotted into a glare and his face drops. Oh is all he can think as he stares at you and the hurt expression that quickly turns into that of annoyance and anger. You push past him, ultimately deciding not to walk him to the gym. His arm reaches out to catch you, but it falls short as he calls out in a whine, "I'll get it back for you, okay? Come on, y/n!"

———

You can't focus on the assignments in front of you no matter how hard you try. You are exsausted. Just wanting to crawl under the covers and sleep for maybe a thousand years, you stop tapping your oen against the paper to hyperfocus on the black dots that now littered the page. The music in the background pauses before coming back to life with the hum of a new song shuffling in. It's quiet and yet, it's overwhelming. You wish you weren't home alone now.

Hanging your head low on your desk, the carpet becoming of interest, you groan. The image of kuroo and that girl replaying in your head over and over like an endless movie. You'd have to give it a bad review if it ever ended.

You're focus is mainly on her though. Kuroo could get any girl he wants with his witt and charm. Not to mention he wasn't jusf handsome, but he's beautiful. Model material—movie character love interest type beat. He has the ability to make any heart swoon if he tries hadd enough, and that girl was no exception. She was more than pretty. She was stunning, even. It was like watching human barbie and ken flirt with one another. She seems so nice too and you can vaguely remember her helping you wish a couple answers on homework one morning. She's better than you and better for him. Is he sleeping with her too? Before you can answer your own question the doorbell rings, quickly followed by a knock at your door.

You look down at your pajamas, debating if you should pull on your robe or not, but ultimately deciding against it when the knocks come again.

"Im coming, I'm coming. What do you wan- kuroo?"

When you open the door, you immediately get the urge to shut it right in his perfect little face, and you begin to before his hand slams against it in protest to push it open wider. He juts out his lip into a pout and his eyes soften into ones pleading like a puppy dog. You huff and avoid eye contact, instead taking intrest in the bad he was carrying.

"What's that?"

"Stuff. I'd be happy to show you if you let me in."

"Sorry, tetsuro, no can do. You haven't returned my sweater. "

He scoffs and rolls his eyes before shoving something bulky into your arms. You're not sure if you should be happy he actually got it back or upset that he had to see her again to get it. Finally looking up at him, you move to the side so he can step in.

"You know, you don't have to be jealous that i gave another girl a sweater. You're my number one, y/n." He's teasing, but his words still send the butterflies in your stomach crazy. You can only hope he means it, even if just a little.

"I'm not jealous. You can sleep with whoever you want, kuroo. We're just best friends—if anything im your wingman. "

You want to hit yourself on the head. Why would you say that?

He snickers at the rebuttle, coming to loom over you. Apparently the only thing that can get you out of your head is his cologne because it somehow invaded your senses. He smells expensive, like nice leather and fire wood during the winter. It's very manly, you note. His shadow hovers over yours as he traps you between him and the counter with a playful smirk on his face. How smug could he get. He leans down, bringing your chin up between his thumb and finger. You hadn't realized how close he was until now. Since when did you get so nervous around him? Why did it make you nervous when he kissed you all of a sudden? It's unfair that he holds the advantage. Heat rises to your cheeks and the tips of your ears and you're positive he can hear the beating of your heart, which was currently trying to break out of your chest.

His lips take you to paradise, as always. Their soft against your own, yet firm. They're slightly chapped and they taste like spearmint. It makes your head fuzzy because they feel so right, even when you wish they felt wrong. You want to pull away and kick him out, and end thjs whole arrangement, but you're already very familiar with the fact it's just beginning.

———

The bed is warm. So warm, in fact, it feels like your suffocating. The sheets tangle around your limbs, strangling you as you tangle your limbs around kuroos. You almost want to cry, and if you were anywhere else— with anyone else —you probably would have. The heat is unbearable and the one sided tension makes your stomach churn and your throat tighten up. You were almost positve an anxiety attack was coming on.

Taking a deep breath through your nose, you close your eyes as kuroo's nimble fingers soothe circles into your shoulder blade idly and yet somehow he manages to dodge the purple and red splotches blooming on the flesh. Suddenly you wish you didn't feel so safe and protected in his embrace. The moment almost tempts you to whisper sweet nothings into his ear, but you don't deserve to be the person who does that because you aren't his person. Best friend, maybe (next to Kenma, if anything) but, you aren't his person no matter how you long to be. You're just a friend in his bed having a good time. It isn't as fun anymore.

You swallow a lump in your throat, flattening your hand against his broad chest and willing yourself to lift up out of his grasp, his fingers falling smoothly to stop between your shoulder blades. Looking down at him, he presents you with the soft, goofy look on his face that he always adorns. God, there's nothing you wouldn't give to wake up beside him every morning and kiss that lopsided grin off his face. It hurts to think about, and another wave of tears try to force their way past your lash line. You blink them away and put on a soft, one-sided smile for the man below you, giving him a quick peck where his jaw and neck meet before shrugging his hands off and climbing out of bed.

His eyes track you, lazily hooded and watching, as you take the sheet with you to cover yourself, grabbing your shorts and whatever top you were wearing but a few hours ago before everything was strewn about. You shy away from his gaze, but it's nothing he hasn't seen before. He shifts in the bed to face your back, elbow propped up to lay his head in his hand. With an uncharacteristically soft tone, you almosf don't head him when he speaks. The words that come from him are like honey, yet raw. It's enough to make anyones knees buckle and crawl back into bed.

"Are you okay?"

There's a slight hint of concern there, just hardlg scrapping the surface of the question. You nod with a hum, throwing on the loose shirt before facing him. Kuroo's brow raises like he doesn't quite believe you, but he doesn't take the question further and instead turns to get out of bed. You gnaw at your lip, taking your turn to watch him stretch out. His back has red streaks messily placed down it from his shoulders to the base, his biceps matching. His hair is messy and not like the normal bed head he sports, parts of it are spiked up from fingers constantly pushing through it, while other parts are laid flat from sweat. You can't help the thought that he's sculpted by the gods. They definitely took their time on him. Scoffing at yourself and shaking the thoughts free from your head, you head to the bathroom. As if the bed wasn't suffocating enough, just being the same room was found to be worse when he looks like that. At this point, it was preferred he stayed under the covers.

You feel stupid while looking in the mirror. Your mascara from earlier had smudged beneath your waterline, clumping together in the corner. Your nose curls at the sight, hands splashing cool water at your face, rubbing at your eyes. With a sigh you lean your elbows on the sink, pushing back hair and looking down at the water going into the drain.

This is ridiculous.

How on earth could you do this to yourself and to kuroo?

There's a knock on the bathroom door, it's light and gentle in the typical kuroo fashion because he doesn't want to spook you. You purse your lips, digging the palms of your hands into your eyes and heaving a sigh. As soon as you open the door and switch places, you're up and out of his apartment without saying goodbye.

The cool air of outside hits your face and you hadn't noticed the tears until the damp chill shook you. Brushing them away, you head home. You didn't want to be around him and you certainly didn't want to think about him. On the way back, you finally decided you weren't going to tell him anything. What would dumb tetsuro know about it anyway.

[xx-obliviousfantasy-xx]

Roasting Myself

Quick note:

Okay so bc I'm writing this on my phone, I can't take a photo of the document history to show you the stupidness. I apologise for that, but just try to imagine the fricken like... Stupidness.

Edit: The original version is on Wattpad still so nvm I'll be adding both Wattpad and Google Doc screenshots, but I did not have as many dates on Wattpad so only for some sections will I use Wattpad.

Edit: My photos keep going to the bottom. Idfk what to do whatever I hate Tumblr with a burning passion.

~~~~

So, I gotta vent about my stupidity.

Okay so the time frame I set back in 7th grade for this book idea I have is completely stupid. What I wrote didn't make any actual sense because I contradicted it. Which makes sense, because I was stupid. But doesn't, because now that I'm older, I should've caught it.

The story is called 3044(Destined Stars). I definitely stole that last part from something. I thought it was the game Mystic Messenger but it's not. The more I think about it, the more it seem like it though.

The problem is that with how far away 3044 is, it doesn't even make sense for humans to be how they are then, or even be alive tbh. I'm pretty sure they'll be extinct by then. I don't even know big we'll last 200 more years tbh. Or even 50.

Another problem, is I still do that thing where I fucking forget there's a bunch of numbers in between and skip up. So basically, with how I write the dates, I made the years really far apart with the dates and shit. Like REAAALLLLY. Like from being 10-ish years apart to skipping ahead nearly 1,000. Because I am a dumbass and didn't think "Wow this doesn't make any effing sense. This makes some of your events very insignificant because of evolution, and your characters old as dinosaurs."

(But I'm just now remembering I did day Humans live longer, which, could be taken to interpretation but besides the point.)

To better understand:

I literally had the dates like 2070, 2080, 2090, to then, 3000, 3010, 3015, 3025.

Like... That jump was so fucking huge but I didn't realise.

But because I was attached to the makeshift title I gave it, because it came from my friend's favorite number (but because I have issues with flipping numbers I found out was wrong later in after naming the story. I have still kept it that number though even years after),

Instead of doing the easy thing, I wrote in the stupidest, most confusing, complicated thing ever.

And then, after reading through my dates again and actually doing the math, it was like "Wait a second, this doesn't make any sense because this event started before this character (Hyacinth) was born, but after this one (Aleya) was two years old" or something like that. Idk. Like... It's wonky because my characters are certain ages in the story, but, by the date I set things, they happen waaaay too before they were born which would mean they'd stop mattering so much.

But thankfully, I thought recently, why don't I just f-ing make the dates that date? What's the reason for all of the complicated stuff?

(Also, I think I was gonna change the date again which is why it still makes no sense.)

( But then something happened. Idk. I honestly might bring the ages down again bc it makes sense. Because... The time still doesn't make sense because I'd have to age Hyacinth up.)

Generally, I just placed some events out of sequence. Like, I said space cities finished construction before they even started building them. Idk, it was a fucking mess and one of the first things I wrote confused me a lot because I was like "Did I delete something?"

It also made Aleya reaaaally older than Hyacinth because I set a significant date in her birth 15 years before the date of the story so it either

Aleya is 24 and Hyacinth is 20. It was 18 and 21 before,

I just- Oh my God. So, I'm deleting that, and going to make it better. Also I accidentally made the Earth 3044 years old, when, that's absurd. I said the Earth aged faster in that Universe, but that's too fast. Like- I just- wtf?

But the year is also 3044.7b2? Is that for the universe? See it just doesn't make sense. Idk how it made sense in my head. The Earth is 3044 years old but the Earth is not the age of the universe right now so why would the Earth be the age of the universe unless the Universe reset itself entirely and made everything come back at the same time?

And then I said that after that war, the first alien race I talked about plus some other planets, created a treated together.

I think I remember that at first a lot of planets were sucked into a black hole but spit out and made again but faster? Idk. It's so confusing.

(That's when I wrote it on Wattpad and how it was before the rewrite below)

Then there is this dumb contradictory mistake I made again because I said a certain race of aliens with a very awful name was first to contact the Earth at a certain time and helped them and create a treaty,

It's just so messed up and it's because I:

1) Didn't check some of my SEVENTH GRADE WRITING EVEN THOUGH IM IN NINTH NOW,

However I then wrote a different one with a less awful name did before that and went to war with them. As seen above and below.

2) Didn't check my Math, and-

Also apparently the whole story is being told but a space child who created Earth by accident and has grown find if her creation. Also one of the things I changed that made it complicated was saying that 3044 was the number of times Earth restarted. But I forgot that part because I constantly skim over that part.

3) Am still writing it in a bad Tumblr/Wattpad fanfic manner instead of a genuinely good writer pov.

Like... It's genuinely so bad that idk how it didn't click in until now. Maybe it's because after watching a nearly 2hr video about how bad Yandere Simulator and Yandere Dev is, and then two reviews of Onision's books I've already seen, I began to be very afraid of being on the same level as them in terrible production of anything.

I'm going to to fix this and re-plot it and then re-writes it because this is horrible, even for a first draft.

My incompetence a m a z e s me.

My understanding of math scares me.