#Im really tired of seeing radfems purposefully try to trigger our dysphoria and act morally superior about it

[trannyradfem]

Yeah anon, like, genuinely just learn what gendie speak means and translate it in ur head. You'll find there's way more similarities than you'd have ever guessed. There's a fuckload of things TRAs agree with us on but they have so much cognitive dissonance caused by fear and threats (especially for AFABs) they'll never break it down and admit it. Not until/ unless they peak, anyways. But we can. Read between the lines.

When they say, "why do you say you hate men that's too binary :(", try to imagine their perspective. Regardless of how YOU feel about it, trans afabs exist, and will continue existing until MUCH better treatment modalities come out. (If they ever do, as radical feminism isn't really doing anything to help these women, so where else will they turn to for relief? The trans community, duh.) How can we expect otherwise when women with dysphoria are basically told it's their fault for being misogynists if therapy doesn't work? We don't even have any treatment modalities specifically for dysphoria, so, be more realistic about your expectations, please.

Breaking it down, "that's too binary" can mean multiple things. It can refer to how trans AMABs will call themselves women, but still can easily be extremely misogynistic in the same ways you're talking about when you say you hate men. But they WILL get mass harassed by their own community for saying it bluntly like that, so they use the gendie speak. By adding more flames to the fire, all you're doing is adding more pressure and making it actively harder for them to ever have a chance at unpacking their cognitive dissonance. You're perpetuating the same reactive dehumanization that has made the trans community cultlike and reactive in the first place. And that's a disservice to both that person and radical feminism in general. This person saying that quote is agreeing with you, just not in the way you want them to.

It could also mean to address how trans AFABs only really have transient and watered down male privelege, especially when they aren't flat out the binary type that wants to fully pass as a man. And they want to know, "Do you hate me like that as well?". You see nonbinary and have a negative reaction to that, and I get it, but you're not trying to discern the actual meaning underneath the gendie fluff.

If you can acknowledge that gendie fluff language is useless and detracts from the point, you can also break it down to see what they're actually saying in reference to their own material reality. So this actually isn't all that wild of something to say, you just missed an opportunity to get a gendie to see it your way. You're not obligated to do that by any means, but if you call yourself any level of activist, that's a part of what activist work really is. Not just online, but irl as well.

The next quote, "girls in school bullied me for being too masculine, but boys did not, thus males are not oppressive" is-- once again-- gendie fluff that represents an extremely complex reality as a GNC woman, as dykeulous explained. There's also room here to educate on personal experiences versus systemic oppression, because that's very obviously a missing piece in their logic from the get go. The best way to do that is to sympathize with the very real issue of GNC hate and homophobia that causes this environment for young women in the first place, and then explain your views. Go by statistics, especially when it comes to male crime vs female, sexual violence statistics, pregnancy mortality statistics, etc., because you probably already know these areas well if you're a radfem. And emphasis on "just because it didn't happen to you in that way, doesn't mean it's not happening for most women".

Just kinda treat them like people and not a stereotype of the worst gendie you've ever met. Please?

How do you get patience to deal with TIFs when they are out there saying shit like "but why do you say that you hate all men, it's too binary 😥" or "girls in high school bullied me for being too masculine but boys did not (?), so your idea that men are more oppressive is wrong"?

gender conforming girls bullying gnc girls in school is a very common problem, one that is very much connected to misogyny. girls being mean to & ostracizing other girls because “they aren’t like them” is likewise a common problem we should be talking about. homophobic women have a very unique way of acting out their homophobia, specifically against lesbians, and that is something that we undoubtedly need to be talking about– especially given the rates of lesbian exclusion within feminist spaces, historically & contemporarily. neurotypical & allistic girls being ableist to neurodivergent & autistic girls who don’t conform to societal norms is also a huge problem, very connected to misogyny & we need to talk about it when having feminist discussions. making fun of gnc female people is not feminist, no matter how “insufferable” you find them to be. mocking them & claiming their problems aren’t valid, claiming their history of being bullied specifically by girls is false, calling them attention-seeking-male-validation-wanting-pick-mes is not the feminist move many may think. you are not morally superior for being gender conforming or for not being dysphoric. “tifs” face a unique form of misogyny & oppression that you probably cannot relate to. you can criticize internalized misogyny & reactionary behavior from dysphoric female people & transmascs without generalizing us all. malgendering is a big thing within the trans community, and there are several transfems (baeddels) out there claiming they “hate all men” & being outright misogynistic to transmascs under the thin veil of their fucked up version of feminism. there are genuinely misogynistic transmascs out there, i agree, and by all means criticize them when they start with “transmisandry” claims & “hating all men is harmful” rants– but invalidating their trauma & instituting that someone “has the patience to deal with them” (concluding that they are insufferable annoying confused girls that thus should be excluded & left behind from feminism) is just no way to go on about that criticism. please refrain from speaking about the things you are uneducated about. that being said, you literally sent this ask to a transmasc person… don’t know if you are aware of that though.