#Im just so tired of having someone say that my favorite artist has no skips

[theamazingannie]

Can we as a society learn to express an opinion as an opinion rather than a universal fact? Especially when responding to someone who has a different opinion? Especially especially if the op was talking about something they enjoy and you come along to say that what they enjoy is actually terrible? Like let’s stop doing that I’m so tired

[randomositycat]

Artist/animator brain telling me to pick apart each episode for subtle differences in comparison to the show as a whole

What seems like it could be on model and what feels like it was pushing boundaries to developing a semi-new style for the anime

Rant under cut bc hi I do this a lot in my head,, and I could go through each episode and pick them apart but I've got e 17 on the brain so we'll stick with that for now and maybe I'll check out the older ones later

I only bring it up now bc,, well I didn't want to before

In e 17 (since it's the one freshest in my brain) the art differences I notice are purely in the chibi style, and minorly in the closer shots of characters

This shot specifically feels like it belongs to a different show! But still suuper super cute all the same!

And we go back to something more fitting with the other similar style shots from previous episodes! Not to say that it's all and all the same style every time, but again the differences are subtle and you have to look very closely to even say "huh, that's a bit different!"

I also noticed that usually they don't skip out of drawing fingernails? which sure most animes dont but it feels different here? If that makes sense,,

They really upped their detail game compared to other episodes! all the little things that pain me to even think about doing as an animator! The work put into some of these shots is super impressive! They even shaded the fake mole?? Come on!! The idea of doing what they've down with these shots makes me tired,, kudos to the artists for having the nerve

The fingernails stand out the most to me bc there is so much detail in them!

From the cuticle to the beautiful lighting and shading when she was applying make up to his face (I don't have a gift sorryyy 😣)

And we already know the eyes are beautiful, but my favorite attention to detail is Jinshi's eyes. Maomao never fails to comment on his beauty, and artistically it shows as much, emphasizing it to no end really, but he's so subtly feminine that I find myself studying his eyes quite a bit! His long eyelashes really draw you in...

You can see they dulled it down a little, for his Jinka disguise, but even then he's got such gentle eyes that could easily be mistaken for a woman's if he were to hide his face :) (looking at you Hunting arc, missed a chance! I'll tell you!)

Maomao's expressions in this episode really take the cake too LOL

There's no shortage of good maomao faces, especially not here >:)

As each new episode releases I'm just soooo enamored with how steady the improvement is! Artists finding their rhythm with the characters and sprinkling little things here and there that can go unnoticed but definitely enhance a shot! It's amazing!

And it brings me to talk about e4 which yes I agree is gorgeous animated, but im someone who prefers consistency rather than quality in my animated shows

(quality is good yes but to go from very fluid to standard fluid is jarring to say in the least)

I adore the fluidity in e4, obsessed with it. I was under the impression that an entirely different director + team was in charge (I wasn't wrong abt the director)

My favorite bits have to be the expressions,

And how each movement feels less like a show and more like a movie, like we got a spontaneous budget increase for this episode alone!

Lip syncing too, REALLY on point! I love angry Maomao and I'm a sucker for lip syncing any time!! When she was scolding Lihua's lady in waiting, the animators really hit every keyframe on the nose! (generally makes e4 dub a bit of a hassle for me to watch) I rewatch the sequence again and again because of how well done it is :) a spectacular moment indeed

Another episode with really fluid moments is episode 10, I think 🤔 when she confronts Lady Lishu about Fengming. The entire scene is wonderfully done, with Lishu's expressions and her ladies-in-waiting being excited to talk to Jinshi :) all things I gladly pay attention to

All in all the show has a gorgeous art direction 😊 I hope they continue to enhance it little by little with subtle things like everything i mentioned above

Makes an artist's heart flutter thinking about the dedication and care put into its production

[prohaus]

30+

A challenge that had been dead a long time ago 

and I don’t have a diverse playlist. But here we go!

1.      A song you like with a color in the title Black Balloons Reprise – Flying Lotus, Denzel Curry

My favourite performance from Curry and production from Lotus. “Life is the ugliest bitch I ever messed with But she quick to down that nut back like Nesquik”

2.      A song you like with a number in the title A Tale of 2 Citiez – J. Cole

“Anybody is a killer, all you gotta do is push 'em to the limits”. Now give me the watch.

3.      A song that reminds you of summertime Sangria Wine – Pharrell Williams, Camilla Cabello

Cmon, it’s Pharell. “Let's float around like the fruit at the top”

4.      A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about Somebody Else – VERITE

“I'm looking through you while you're looking through your phone and leaving with somebody else”

5.      A song that needs to be played LOUD m.A.A.d city – Kendrick Lama, MC Eiht

“This is not a rap on how I'm slingin' crack or move cocaine”. YAWK YAWK YAWK YAWK

6.      A song that makes you want to dance Man Don’t Dance – Big Shaq

Dance, no. Rambling while also pointing my finger in the air, yes.

7.      A song to drive to Easy – Mac Ayres

Probably a bad idea, since im get lost in music a lot, one of the reasons why I got my first accident because I was freestyling while I was riding my bike.

“I can say that loving you is easy. I don't need to prove a single thing”

8.      A song about drugs or alcohol Swimming Pools – Kendrick Lamar

Well, there is a lot…

“I am your conscience, if you do not hear me. Then you will be history, Kendrick. I know that you're nauseous right now”

9.      A song that makes you happy Scars to Your Beautiful – Alessia Cara

“But there's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark. You should know you're beautiful just the way you are”

Me beautiful :3

10.  A song that makes you sad See You Again – Tyler, The Creator, Kali Uchis

“I can only see your face when I close my eyes. Can I get a kiss? And can you make it last forever?”

11.  A song that you never get tired of Wesley’s Theory – Kendrick Lamar

I never get tired of this opening track, it’s really cool for me. Hell, I never get tired playing this album (TPAB) from front to back no skip.

“At first, I did love you. But now I just wanna fuck. Late nights thinkin' of you. Until I get my nut”

12.  A song from your preteen years Dangdut Is The Music of My Country – Project Pop

The first record that I (with my parents) bought wkwk.

“Semua orang macam diciptakan. Cakep atau jelek semua punya perasaan”

13.  One of your favorite 70’s songs Hotel California – Eagles

“Welcome to the Hotel California. Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place). Such a lovely face”

14.  A song that you would be loved played at your wedding Off Deez – JID, J. Cole

“Get off my dick, get off my dick. 40 my hip, loadin' my clip. Cannabis, cannabis, roll up my spliff”

Just kidding, it’s probably:

Say My Name – NIKI

“Soon as we get into the room. I know just what you like, just what to do”

15.  A song that is a cover by another artist Take On Me – Weezer

Cmon it’s “take on me”.

16.  One of your favorite classical songs Ain’t That A Kick In The Head – Dean Martin

Thanks Fallout New Vegas.

“The room was completely black. I hugged her and she hugged back”

17.  A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke Funky Sundays - AdhesiveWombat

18.  A song from the year that you were born Changes – Tupac Shakur, Talent

A posthumous release by the classic legend.

“First ship 'em dope and let 'em deal to brothers. Give 'em guns, step back, watch 'em kill each other. "It's time to fight back," that's what Huey said. Two shots in the dark, now Huey's dead. I got love for my brother. But we can never go nowhere unless we share with each other”

19.  A song that makes you think about life Sing About Me, I’m Dying of Thirst – Kendrick Lamar

From the beats to the lyrics, it’s just beautiful. “Just promise me you'll tell this story when you make it big. And if I die before your album drop, I hope …”

20.  A song that has many meanings to you What Can We Do – Anderson .Paak, Nate Dogg

Probably one of the coolest production by Paak. But sure hell, this song makes me cry. Thanks Nate Dogg. “It's the rap singer, the hook master”

21.  A favorite song with a person’s name in the title CLOUT COBAIN – Denzel Curry

Another side of Mr. Curry. “I just wanna feel myself, you want me to kill myself. Man, I been on my own, Lord, I'ma need some help”

22.  A song that moves you forward Till I Collapse – Eminem, Nate Dogg

Since high school, this is my jam whenever I feel down, hell even when I was brokenhearted. “You bizzles forgot, Slizzle does not give a fuck”

23.  A song that you think everybody should listen to u – Kendrick Lamar

Just listen. No Skip.

“Loving you is complicated, loving you is complicated. I place blame on you still, place shame on you still. Feel like you ain't shit, feel like you don't feel”

24.  A song by a band you wish was still together So Fresh, So Clean – OutKast

This is not a band, but I hope they still make stuff together. “Those huge baby eyes, get to runnin' off at they mouth. And tellin' me everything that's on your nasty mind”

25.  A song by an artist no longer living 2009 – Mac Miller

…

“And sometimes, sometimes I wish I took a simpler route. Instead of havin' demons that's as big as my house, mhmm”

26.  A song that makes you want to fall in love Vintage – NIKI

My favourite from Ms. Zefanya. “Wait a minute, my head's a mess. Please don't tell me you like my dress. Why am I wishin' we were wearing less?”

27.  A song that breaks your heart Let Her Go -  6LACK

“It's a shame, how could I be runnin' games?. After all the trials, after everythin'. Wedding ring, I can change your last name. But I can't let 'em get my baby outta pain”

28.  A song by an artist with a voice that you love G.O.M.D – J. Cole (Live Version)

I am part of the people that overrate Mr. Cole…

“So every day I thank the man upstairs. That I ain't you and you ain't me. Get off my dick, whoa”

29.  A song that you remember from your childhood Not Afraid – Eminem

It’s one of the first hip-hop song that I know, and from that day I know Marshall is on of the G.O.A.T, despite this is not his best record.

“Forget the Earth, he's got the urge to pull his dick from the dirt. And fuck the whole universe”

30.  A song that reminds you of yourself RICKY – Denzel Curry

A song about family, that without their advice and support, I am nothing. “My daddy said, "Trust no man but your brothers. And never leave your day ones in the gutter". My daddy said, "Treat young girls like your mother". My mama said, "Trust no ho, use a rubber"

--------------

Nice nice, only 5 out of 30 are from K-Dot.

Here:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1UqXxXH4qWkgXc2KggPirv

[the-tall-writer]

For the ask thing? All multiples of three :3c (skip any you don't wanna/can't answer!)

E3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?  – @earthstained​ ill get to visit you this summer if it kills me!

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? –readers and scientists apparently. Oh, and artists. Definitely artists. Most of all, though, people that are kind.

9. Does talking about sex make you feel uncomfortable? –conceptually, no, but if I’m talking to someone and they bring up their sexual history, it can get a little iffy. I also can’t deal with someone checking somebody out and telling me what a great ass they think someone has. not. cool.

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? –Casi Humanos, All We See Is Sky, Ukulele Anthem, Survival Song

15. What good thing happened this summer? –I got dumped but also dated a really cool girl that helped me realize I’m gayer than I initially knew. This coming summer I’m probably gonna get to attend my first Pride :))

18. Do you still talk about your first crush? –Haha sometimes. He just got in touch with me on Facebook saying he felt bad about the way he treated me last year. We might even end up friends again.

21. What are your bad habits? –making topics of conversation inevitably diverge to talk about how much I hate myself

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? –sleeping

30. Do you ever want to get married? –for the tax benefits and stability maybe.

33. Spell your name with your chin –agb67y

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? –Duh

39. Where are your favorite places to shop? –thrift stores, and this one curiosity shop by my house that just closed down :’( Oh and the comic shop. I feel so freaking at home there.

42. If you’re being extremely quiet, what does it mean? –I’m probably fuming about a joke someone made that actually hurt my feelings even though it was supposed to be in good fun, or I’m on the edge of a panic attack marinating in how much my family must be disappointed in me

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? –panic or having to pee. Sometimes both

48. Have you ever been drunk? –no

51. Ever wished you were someone else? –yeah sometimes I wish i was @thebootydiaries​… she’s too cool for me

54. Favorite store? –Scout :’’’(((((

57. Favorite food? –tater tot hot dish or french fries

60. Ever won a competition? For what? –I won a swimming race once. Too bad i hate swimming

63. Ever been in love? –yeah

66. Do you like tumblr friends more than your real friends? –most of them are one and the same. I like them equally lol

69. lol 69 Are you watching tv right now? –no I’m listening to Rilo Kiley

72. What color are your towels?? –turquoise and purple

75. Favorite animal? –mantis shrimp or pangolin. or platypus. or giraffe. Or bearded dragon. or….

78. Favorite ice cream? –the Tonight Dough from Ben and Jerry’s or cookie dough

81. Favorite tv show? –I don’t watch much tv lol

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? –Mean Girls obvs

87. First person you talked to today? –The group chat (unless myself counts?)

90. Name a person you love –Kid (little sister. not putting up her real name)

93. How many sweat pants do you have? –1

96. Favorite Actress? –probably one of the kids i worked with on the show lol

99. have any pets? –we’re getting a DOGGGGG

102. Do you regret anything from your past? –no im perfect

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? –yeah it was lit

108. What should you be doing? –….studying spanish vocab ;;

111. Do you have trust issues? –I trust people too much

114. Have you ever been outside your state? –Italy and Guatemala….

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? –it’s p good yeah

120. Are you afraid of the dark? –it keeps me sane. 

123. can you keep white shoes clean? –yeah by not wearing them

126. Are you bored right now? –this is so many questions it’s so much soul-searching im so tired

129. What’s your zodiac sign? –Aquarius

132. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? –probs quinn, and even then it was like not so much conversational depth as like I was really vulnerable and he knew what to do to make me feel safe

135. Dumbest lie you’ve ever told? –”we were just chilling outside we weren’t doing anything” after someone had very obviously thrown away a cigarette and the admin saw him

138. Curly or straight hair? –curly {heart eyes}

141. Night or day? –twilight or early morning

144. Dark, milk, or white chocolate? –full rack

147. Mars or snickers? –whichever company makes kit-kats

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? –“The time had gone for discussion; it had come for action, for building new armies and fortifying them with spirit and confidence.” ~The Age of Napoleon by Will and Ariel Durant

[lets-idont-even-know]

1-100

1. What are your hobbies?-Working out, playing video games, playing ukulele2. If you could have dinner with any 3 living or dead people, who would they be and why?-Selena Gomez, cuz god damn I want to meet her so badly. Lauren Sanderson for the same reason. And Lisa Kudrow because l love friends and I wanna hear all about it from her3. What makes you laugh?-Comedians and children falling4. What was the last good thing that happened to you?-I got my internship in San Diego for the summer5. What is your biggest goal?-To marry the woman of my dreams and be financially stable and happy 6. What do you think is the meaning of life?-To make the most out of it, however you can7. Do you believe in an afterlife?-Yes8. Do you have any pet peeves?-Semi trucks passing each other, asking for advice but completely disregarding it, and having your read receipts off (which Faith has hers off and it bugs the living shit out of me 🙃)9. What do you like to do on the weekends?-Ummm when I'm at home I do the same thing I do all week and play video games. But when I'm at school I go to parties and do my homework during the day 10. What was your favorite TV show growing up?-Wizards of Waverly Place11. What is your favorite TV show now?-FRIENDS12. What are your favorite movies?-Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Hurt Locker13. Tell me one surprising fact about you.-I'm not really surprising, what you see is pretty much what you get14. What do you look for in a significant other?-Someone who understands sacrifice, someone who is kind, someone who is understanding, someone who will reciprocate all of the love I show them, and someone who will always do whatever they can to pick me up when I'm down. 15. What were you like as a child?-Really really angry because I was in the closet for 10 years and wasn't happy with my life at all16. What are some things on your bucket list?-To go skydiving, meet Selena Gomez, get married to the woman of my dreams, have children17. Who has had the biggest influence on your life?-Honestly, I can't pin that down to one person. There's a couple people who have had a definite influence on who I am today 18. Do you have any pets or have you ever owned any?-I have a dog19. Talk about a challenge you had recently and how you overcame it or how you plan to.-I was struggling really hard to get an internship and it seemed like every place I applied just wasn't interested or I couldn't do it and I finally just kept at it and found the perfect opportunity 20. If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what song would you choose and why?-Anyone by Lauren Sanderson21. Talk about a favorite childhood memory.-the day we got our dog. We got him when he was a couple weeks old and he was such a little cutie and I remember how happy having him made me 22. What is your favorite commercial?-I hate commercials 23. If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be and why?-Stop being angry, your time will come. Just let yourself be happy and you'll come out when you can and you'll be accepted24. If you were stuck on a deserted island and could only bring one thing, what would it be?-My girlfriend 25. Who is your celebrity crush?-Selena Gomez26. Who is your favorite musical artist?-SELENA GOMEZ AND LAUREN SANDERSON27. What is your favorite music genre?-Pop28. What is your favorite color?-Purple29. What would you do if you won a million dollars?-Move Faith here, get her anything she wants, and take care of my parents 30. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?-Flying31. What is your dream vacation?-An Italian Villa with the girl I love 32. What actor or actress would star as you in a movie about your life?-Selena Gomez pretty please33. Where did you grow up?-Central Indiana34. If you could trade lives with anyone else for one day, who would you trade with?-Lauren Sanderson35. What is your favorite book?-Jerk, California 36. Who is your favorite author?-Don't have one 37. Who do you look up to?-Selena Gomez, Lauren Sanderson, Demi Lovato38. What is your favorite food ever?-Mashed potatoes 39. Are you a picky eater?-Kind of 40. Drunken story time! Go!-This one time literally a couple weeks ago, I was really fucking drunk at a party across the street from campus. Well it started storming really really badly and I wasn't about to get in the car with my drunk friend. So I decided to sprint across campus back to my dorm. I got across the street and sprinted all the way to the main building, stood under the awning for like a minute, ran to another building and stood under the awning. Then, while having an asthma attack and trying not to get struck by lighting while completely hammered, I took off my hat and wasn't gonna stop running until I got back to my dorm building. It was still a solid 5 minute run. So I took off. I got to the building and was dripping wet. Like I just got out of the shower with all of my clothes on. And my asthma was killing me BUT I didn't throw up!41. What beverage do you consume most often?-Pepsi 42. What is the first thing you wash in the shower?-My hair 43. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?-Absolutely. I'll be kissin her soon 44. How are you feeling right now?-tired but happy and at peace45. Do you plan out your outfits?-Sometimes46. What is the closest red item to you?-my PS4 controller has a red Nike covering on it47. Talk about the last dream you remember having.-It was my dream where Donald Trump stole my puppies, I'll reblog it48. Do you love yourself?-Much more than I used to 49. When was the last time you cried and why?-3 weeks ago I think 50. Have you ever met a celebrity?-Unfortunately no 51. Have you ever been to a concert?-Yes52. What are you listening to right now?-Kodaline53. Have you ever flown in an airplane?-Yeahhh54. What is the craziest thing you've ever done?-I don't do too many crazy things but the craziest thing I guess I've ever done is borrow my friend's car to go meet my ex girlfriend who lived in Iowa and I couldn't use my debit card or they'd know and I ended up using it in Indiana for has a couple times and had to lie but yeah it was pretty crazy for me. I don't do crazy things 55. Are your parents or guardians strict?-Yeah kind of 56. Did you have a good childhood?-My childhood wasn't happy but my parents did the best they could for me so I guess so. Some people don't get that lucky so I'm appreciative 57. Have you ever been in love?-A couple times 58. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?-Depends 59. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life ever apologize?-No and I don't expect them to 60. What are some of your turn-ons?-Neck kissing, aggression, wondering hands, ear biting61. What are some of your turn-offs?-Skipping foreplay, not listening to what I say I want 62. Would you go skydiving?-Yes63. What are you thinking about right now?-How happy Faith makes me 64. Do you ever rent movies?-Sometimes65. Do you ever illegally download entertainment such as music, movies, etc.?-No66. What is your zodiac sign?-Gemini67. Do you believe in karma or predestiny?-Yeah 68. Is there anything you want to say to anyone right now?-Yeah69. Would you rather live a shorter life but be wealthy or live a longer life and struggle financially?-Wealthy 70. What is your stance on abortion?-Pro choice my dude71. Do you believe in ghosts?-ABSOLUTELY72. Who do you admire and why?-Lauren Sanderson because she never stops going after exactly what she wants and she doesn't settle for anything less than her dreams and she puts in all the hard work to get where she wants to be73. What was your worst experience while under the influence of drugs or alcohol?-I punched a wall at a party once 74. Have you ever had a near-death experience?-Yeah probably75. What do you daydream about?-I don't daydream76. Where do you want to live after retirement?-I don't know77. What would you change your first name to?-I wouldn't 78. If you believe in a God or Higher Power, what one question would you want to ask Him or Her?-why do you let your children suffer with illnesses like cancer and allowing some to be so unhappy they feel like suicide is their only option 79. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic?-I'm a lot more optimistic these days80. Are you more introverted or extroverted?-Introverted 81. What is your dream profession?-Acting, honestly 82. What do you worry about most?-My future and if im going to succeed 83. When was the last time you tried something new and what was it?-I honestly don't know 84. Who do you compare yourself to?-Nobody anymore85. What excites you about life?-Having the opportunity to love the girl that I do86. What five words would you use to describe your personality?-Funny, quiet, geek, weird, interesting87. What is one life lesson you learned the hard way?-sometimes things happen and you may not think it's for the best and it may be excruciating to go through, but you'll come out better at the end 88. What belief do you have that many people disagree with?-I don't know 89. If not now, then when?-What?90. Is it possible to lie without saying a word?-Yes91. What activities make you lose track of time?-Talking to Faith 92. If you had to teach an academic subject, what subject would you want to teach?-History93. What is your biggest regret?-I don't have regrets honestly 94. What will matter most to you when you're 80 years old?-If I was happy95. Are you a messy person or a clean person?-Eh a little of both 96. Are you a perfectionist?-Definitely not 97. How tall are you?-5'798. What is your guilty pleasure?-I don't have one 99. Do you prefer sweet or salty?-Sweet100. What is your favorite social media website?-Tumblr

[allthatwehear]

the stanley hotel

well, there is a tour going on as i am writing this. and i look probably quite a bit misplaced, on my own, sitting at your favorite haunted hotel. the tour is coming up to see the view of the mountains, probably, and going inside the see the enormous christmas tree in that dim-lit, warm lobby mom and i always walk into together. i wish mom was here; i wish mom had more interest in my life and what’s been going on. sometimes i want to tell her that she cares more about her blog than she does about her kids, but i know that isn’t true. i know that she is simply trying to fulfill dreams of her own, and blogging, (the one thing that she can handle--not too much driving, not too much being out of the house and staying comfortable, it’s artistic, too!) is the one thing she can handle. it’s a job that suits her well, but it is quite slow-going. i wish, just when i am home for such short periods of time, before i’m not living with her anymore, that she would set it down for a bit to spend time with me. i have so many things i want to say. so many things about my quarter that i want to tell her about, but when i come home, ti’s always the same. it’s like, they’re excited enough to send me away on such an expensive excursion, such an expensive life, but they don’t care to know anything i do about it. it’s a pity. i think when i’m a parent i’ll be one of those mom’s who annoys their kid because i ask questions too much. but sarah, ask them questions. 99 out of 100% of the time, they want to tell you. so ask your kids questions, make them seem valuable and learn their experiences. i’m actually stoked to hear what all my kids will do; i want to know what they’re feeling, what they’re learning, who they’re meeting. gosh sometimes, i wish i was a parent already. skip this scary confusing and difficult young part of life already; i kinda just want to go to marriage and a house and some kids. that’s about it.

well anyways. these past two days, something came to me like a breath of relief. after church yesterday i was driving home, full of emotion from the difficult lesson and just not feeling myself after seeing sawyer after so long, (i felt like i couldn’t even talk to her normally... what was wrong with me?) and i realized, i am so hard on myself. i am so ridiculously hard on myself. i forget, often, that i have had a traumatic, awful event in my life that yes, maybe has stunted my success in getting a bigger grip on my life. i am lately tormented by the fact that i will be 21, and none of my friends will be. i am older, but i don’t act like it. i am older, but i still wear all this make-up, try to seem impressive and attractive and interesting. i am still /trying/, and isn’t the mark of an adult and someone mature, someone who is comfortable in themself, someone who doesn’t give a shit anymore? anyways, i have nothing figured out. no real plans for jobs, i haven’t even applied to my major yet. i’m perhaps interested in someone two years younger than me and i’m pissed at myself and don’t even want to let myself in to his life, let myself go or be gentle. i’m just pissed i will be so old and i am nowhere near the person no accomplished what i wanted to. but i realized this, driving on the usual 287 strip of highway where you pass that bus parking lot, and the mountains are everywhere and its super flat and dead-earth--i have not had the normal life, in any sense of the word. i was homeschooled, i was christian and then my parents divorced which was crazy and unheard of and wrong (and all my other friends parent’s were still together), my sisters are much much different than me, i tried public school, i went back to community college, i did a gap year, i lost my sister and then i shipped out to a way too expensive college. my life, has not been normal. and i need to accept that some of those repercussions are perhaps not feeling totally ready or in-control to push myself so hard. basically, i do the best i can. constantly. with keeping up with friendships, with being kind and tolerating some quite difficult people and circumstances--i do the best i can, and i am actually doing pretty good. 

i’m a kind person. i’m a wiser person than i think people understand, and i am just trying to survive. there don’t need to be any expectations on what my life should look like; because still, isn’t God always changing what it actually looks like? if we make a grand plan, more likely than not it’s just going to morph into something else. alright, so you’ve learned not to be so hard on yourself.

also learn that when you are utterly confused about a situation, reach out to God about it. if you are utterly confused about your feelings with l, or deeply concerned and again--beating yourself up!--about sweet sam, you need to freaking relax. no, you don’t have to have every little thing planned out, and no, /you cannot control the outcomes/. you. do. deserve. sweet friends. and new experiences. and happy moments. no, you do not belong to anyone, you do not owe anyone anything, and you are going to be okay. for my 21st birthday, i wish i could fly out here to colorado and go to the stanley for the night. but i wish i could go with like sawyer or susy, but they can’t drink so that might be weird. i don’t necessarily want to go with juge or maddie, either. they’re not exactly my kind of people; they don’t uplift me. they just worry me, and give me more anxiety, and bog me down with harsh words on mom or who knows what. it gets very tiring, and no, at this point i don’t really care if they’re in my life very much. i’ve just learned to let them go a bit. i love them, but things have changed. i’ve grown up, and i realize what i want to be. and they? they don’t get me, they don’t even /try/ to understand me. like mom? they don’t even ask me things. it’s a bit ridiculous, if i say so myself. does anybody actually want to know what’s going on in my head? 

the dream for school this quarter? i just want to cuddle up with someone (okay, our friend group is fine..) and watch a bunch of scary movies. i just want to cuddle up with someone in the winter. and relax. and breath. and watch scary movies. 

this boy sam. he’s beaaautiful. he’s this gorgeous, handsome, partying (maybe? i think so, he seems pretty into it, with his roommate, who i am noooot so sure about,) successful, young guy who lives on our brother floor but virtually no one knew anything about. i don’t even know where that kid lived--did he live with alex when alex lived in ashton? i have no clue. i’ll have to ask him one day. but anywho, he’s lovely. and why the freaking heck did he show interest in me and not the other two gorgeous freshmen ladies who were at that kickback in dylan’s seattle airbnb? why me? I HAVE NO IDEA. It’s like i have a sign on my forehead that says, “HEY. IM AN OLD LADY, BUT MAYBE IM IMMATURE ENOUGH TO ATTRACT YOU SO COME DATE ME”, LOL what does that even mean?? it’s ridiculous! i don’t really know what i’m saying anymore. but anyways. it’s gettin’ a little loud here and i have kind of a weird vibe, like maybe the groundskeepers and stuff think it’s strange that there’s just this girl here sitting outside of the stanley hotel on her laptop. BUT IT’S PRETTY HERE OKAY. and i have a gorgeous view, with those mountains. and it makes me think of caroline here. god, i miss her so much. i’m probably going to look at the giftshop to see if there is a hoodie i can buy myself that says the stanley on it. i think that would make me the happiest girl alive, wow. 

peace out for one second. 

[twinskeletonsquad]

do them all loser

A song you like with a color in the title‘love in black and white’ by mars argo even though those are technically shades i love that song more than anything

A song you like with a number in the title‘20 dollar nosebleed’ is fall out boy’s best song by far

A song that reminds you of summertime‘absentee’ by jack campbell but only because i used to listen to it pretty often when i’d go biking in the summer

A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about‘she’s the prettiest girl at the party and she can prove it with a solid right hook’ by frank iero with my ex-girlfriend (but i’m not trying to forget about her bc we’re good friends now but i just wish i didn’t make a big deal outta that song bc it’s really great and now i cringe a little when i listen to it which sucks).

A song that needs to be played LOUDna na na by mcr cause once my dad was driving on the highway and turned it up so fucking loud and it was a fun time

A song that makes you want to dance‘mad as hell’ by U.S. girls is SO funky it makes me involuntarily shake my hips

A song to drive to‘lt. headed’ by m.a.g.s. has a cool beat it’s a nice lil windows-down tune

A song about drugs or alcoholit’s not reallyyy about drugs or alcohol but ‘loud’ by titanic sinclair cause it’s vaguely about being an alcoholic going through gay-panic

A song that makes you happyproletR’s remix of ‘april showers’ puts me in a good-ass mood and tbh so does the original

A song that makes you sad‘falling in love’ by teen suicide has a very emotional instrumental make up

A song that you never get tired ofi don’t think ive ever skipped either ‘dead!’ or ‘headfirst for halos’ by mcr when i put my music library on shuffle

A song from your preteen years‘backfire at the disco’ is the first song i ever heard by the wombats and they used to be my favourite band back in the day so that

One of your favorite 80’s songseverything from the atomic blonde soundtrack or by the clash tbh

A song that you would love played at your weddingthe only ones i can think of are ‘if i could fly’ by 1D or ‘truce’ by top bc they both make me and caitlin emo n shit. other than that idk bc we have very different music tastes lmao

A song that is a cover by another artistthe new politics cover of ‘whatsername’ was the only good song from that green day cover album kerrang put out a couple years back so i’m choosing that one

One of your favorite classical songs‘youkali (tango habanera)’ is such a sick tune as far as classical songs go. also there’s snippets on youtube of that time natasha negovanlis sang it and it was phenomenal 

A song that would sing a duet with on karaokeliterally just cause of that scene from glee ‘don’t you want me’ by the human league

A song from the year that you were born‘all star’ by smash mouth cause im a meme

A song that makes you think about life'i will, tonight’ by the brobecks but not cause it’s deep or anything, just cause it’s about a nuclear holocaust and makes me panic cause i start thinking about the world’s current political state

A song that has many meanings to you‘props & mayhem’ by pierce the veil

A favorite song with a person’s name in the title‘ramona’ by beck is one of the best songs from the scott pilgrim soundtrack and i said what i said

A song that moves you forward‘ode to sleep’ by top

A song that you think everybody should listen tothere’s this band called the symposium that’s super underrated so if you havent heard of them i would recommend listening to either: ‘the fifties’ ‘ACL’ or ‘dracula’s lunch’

A song by a band you wish were still togetherliterally every song by mars argo, mcr and the brobecks

A song by an artist no longer livingi don’t really listen to a lot of not-current artists so most of my faves are still alive so im just gonna say ‘lithium’ by nirvana bc it puts me in a really good mood until i remember that kurt’s dead and then i get bummed out 

A song that makes you want to fall in love‘young jersey friend’ by vince dynamic. it’s a good song and you should look it up if you’ve never heard it.

A song that breaks your hearteven though i love it so much, ‘using you’ by mars argo (especially the acoustic one) bc it really makes me think about what couldve been for her career :(((((

A song by an artist with a voice that you love‘faded heart’ by garrett borns is such a good song and his voice is gorgeous and tbh it helps makes all of his songs as unique as they are

A song that you remember from your childhood‘99 red balloons’ cause i used to listen to it a lot when i was little

A song that reminds you of yourselfi don’t like this question bc i don’t have an answer for it