#Im going to be honest most if this is just me trauma dumping haha

[whalebonereviews]

American Animals (2018)

This is a movie review so....spoilers ahead :)

Honestly, I both loved this movie and hated it. On one hand, it glorifies 4 entitled white men's dumb college heist, and on the other hand, it perfectly captures the dread of waiting for something, anything to happen to change the grey 9-5 trajectory your life is currently on. I loved the cinematography and acting. I could feel their anxiety and desperation through the screen, the real-life people talking to their film screen counterparts were really the cherry on top for me.

Growing up I never had idols or people I looked up to (which sucked when I had to write essays about my non-existent idols), instead I had people I would never want to grow up to be. For example: my Tia, living with her narcissistic controlling mom, no friends, a candy crush addiction, and a bank teller job. My mother, unable to stick with a job for more than a year because she became stressed, depressed, or bored, and unable to control her emotions before they reached her children, and giving up on her dreams of art. All this is pretty depressing for a child and probably didn't help my outlook on life.

As a high school senior who has felt like she is waiting for something, anything, to change and bring me back to life or change my eventual 9-5-giving-up-on-my-dreams-for-reality fate the beginning of this movie really struck a chord with me (especially before I realized this isn't fiction and is really based in reality). I get why they started planning it. It gave them a goal to work towards, excitement, adrenaline, a change from their dull lives and futures, and a whole bunch of money. I don't believe they did it for the money though , at least not on the whole. What I don't get is why they kept going. They couldn't have been so blind-sighted that they believed they could pull it off unscathed or with a small slap on the wrist. Obviously, the excitement, adventure, money, and toeing the line kept them hooked, but their entitlement and conviction that they would get away with it was infuriating. It was meant to be infuriating watching them throw their lives away with dumb decisions and sloppy mistakes but I still sat there with my hands nervously sweating.

This movie explores the pitfall that is late-stage capitalism and the American Dream beautifully, with the constant reminder that this was and is someone's life.

Overall, this was a great movie and I definitely recommend watching it but make sure to take it with a grain of salt.

.

I need to say that I have tried so hard to pull myself out of this haze of disillusionment. I have been to countless hours of therapy, I started working on a farm in another state, I tried to kiss my best friend, and yes I have tried lying in the middle of the street in the rain, but those are all just temporary fixes. I am not just complaining that everything wasn't handed to me on a silver platter, I am complaining and relating to the emptiness and hopelessness I feel (and the men in this movie felt) because of our society. I feel like I go through the motions of being a good student, a good friend, a good leader, making sure I eat 3 meals a day, trying my hardest to be pretty and nice and interesting, and keeping all this and more up in hopes that someday soon I won't feel so empty inside. I feel so trapped and stuck sometimes. I want to cut off the long hair I grew out because it was pretty, tear out my piercings, eat all the garlic and onion, and seaweed I avoid because it will make my breath stink, scratch at my skin until it's scarred beyond belief and tell every person I hate that I've been nice to to kindly fuck off.

I swear watching the clock tick closer to 4:15 will kill me someday.

[yoosungs-hairclips]

heya!! i wanted to request hc’s for RFA with a methyphobic mc? i get rlly nauseous and terribly anxious (shaking, stuttering, sweating, tearing up, etc) when alcohol is around me or mentioned. my mom was a pretty horrible alcoholic, and that’s where it sprouted ^^;; my friends and family all think i’m weird for it, but i experienced a lot of trauma bc of alcohol, so it makes me feel rlly bad when they don’t try to understand. i was hoping for a bit of comfort through this!! thank you so much!!

yes of course!!! im so sorry that your friends and family say that, that is totally valid and it’s awful that you have to experience that! i’m super sorry if some of these sound repetitive or basic, i tried really hard to convey how much the RFA would care about you and respect your phobia, but i’m only human haha.

1,899 words, 10,051 characters

Yoosung

it comes out when you’re playing LOLOL together with some mutual friends of yours

one of them mentions how they just got back from buying beer from the nearby 7-eleven and how they’re gonna get wasted later that night

you want to say how uncomfortable you are, but out of fear of seeming “uncool” to yoosung’s friends, you stay silent even though you’ve been talkative all night

after around 10 minutes, the friend actually does bust out some of the beers and starts drinking

that’s when you start to really get nervous

as soon as the match is over, you start scrambling for any excuse to log off for the rest of the night

yoosung notices this, and since you two are literally in the same room, he spins in his chair and starts asking you what’s wrong

you remind him that he forgot to leave the match and it’s still going on,

but he doesn’t care about that dumb game right now.

he just wants to know what’s wrong and what he can do to help

after a lot of hugging, you finally tell him about your methyphobia

he’s a little taken aback, as he’s never heard of it.

but when he thinks about how much his friend was mentioning alcohol he gets

really irritated at his “friend”

you have to tell him that his friend didn’t know and that it’s okay but he still insists on telling him how uncomfortable he made you

after a long back and forth, you realize there’s no stopping him

as if he read your mind, he immediately shoots up to his computer and starts typing

then, when he’s taken care of that, he takes your hand and starts reassuring you again

he’ll never let any mention of alcohol touch your ears again, not if he can help it

and he means it.

he’s really glad that you told him so he can try preventing something like this ever happening again

he never, ever wants you to be uncomfortable.

that’s the last thing that you deserve.

Zen

you’re trying to catch up on social media and your favorite TV shows when you hear keys clicking outside the apartment and the door creaking open

as soon as you look over, you see zen stumbling in

from the look on his face and his posture, it’s easy to tell that he’s had a horrible day on set

you try to comfort him and make conversation, but he only mumbles in reply while getting a beer out of the fridge

moments after he pops it open, your palms start getting sweaty and you freeze

you try to tell him that that makes you uncomfortable, but your voice only comes out as murmurs

“did you say something, jagiya?”

mkfadgmkklgadbmlwfklmbfmklfwkmlbaefl

you try again, stuttering out a more coherent statement on how mentions of or especially the presence of alcohol make you extremely anxious

right away, his eyes go wide and he sets his drink down

he sits down next to you on the couch and looks in your eyes, staying silent but you know what he’s asking

you gulp, take a deep breath, and tell him about your methyphobia and what it means

he has to ask a few questions, such as why this came to be and the like

when you tell him about your mom, he’s disgusted with her

he can’t believe it? how did such a wonderful person come out of such a bad family situation?

you really cannot believe he asked that when he came from a bad family too

after a lot of talking and venting from you, he promptly throws out all his alcohol and promises never to drink any or mention it to you again unless you’re okay with it

if you ever start panicking while eating out he’ll be by your side in a flash, rubbing your back and giving you breathing exercises or whatever you need

he’s 100% supportive of you, and he’ll give up any bad habit he needs to if it helps you at all

Jaehee

it’s a sunday, and a lot of families came to the café after church together

it was packed all day

when you get home, you try to unwind by binging jaehee’s bottomless collection of zen DVDs

she’s a little late, telling you she has to get something from the kitchen really fast and asks you if you want anything

you refuse, you’ve had dinner and you already have water

she understands, and dashes off

after about a minute of you setting up the DVD, she comes back with a cheese plate and a wine glass

as soon as you see the crimson liquid in the glass, your hands start to vibrate and shake furiously

you try to hide it by holding them tightly, but she notices before you tuck them away in your pockets

“is s-something wrong?? did i do something??”

she’s, so worried,

you’re a little hesitant to tell her but you’ve been dating for a few months and you have to tell her eventually, right?

through shaky breaths, you explain your methyphobia and why it came to be,

everything.

she never interrupts you, purely focusing on listening to you until you’re done after about 3 and a half minutes

afterwards, she apologizes for never asking if you’re comfortable with her relying on drinking wine as a stress reliever

she says how she doesn’t blame you in the slightest for not telling her sooner, it’s hard to trust people with such sensitive information and she would have struggled with it too.

you have a really long conversation about your lives and everything you struggle with talking about to others

you both forget all about the DVD

after you tell her that you’re starting to get sleepy, she dumps out the wine, puts the cheese away, and gives you honest to god the tightest hug you’ve ever gotten from someone.

as well as a kiss on the cheek heehee

she gives you a lot more cuddles that night

and when you’re both awake, she delays the shop opening so she can do as much research on methyphobia as a woman could possibly do in one morning

she’s very sensitive about it afterwards, and always makes sure that you don’t get reminded of alcohol (when she can help it)

Jumin

you’re playing with elizabeth the 3rd and waiting for jumin to come home when you get a call

speak of the devil!!

you pick up almost instantly, asking him how work is going and telling him what elizabeth has been doing all day

he lets out a small .. nose exhale? of a laugh before telling you that he actually called you to inform you of a sudden change of plans for the afternoon/evening

you’re really excited! you’re usually just stuck in the penthouse all day, without anything to do

so any chance to get out is a good thing, especially with jumin

right? eh

he continues, saying how he has to go to an event for work purposes

it turns out there’s a nearby wine tasting and there’s a lot of potential customers there

as he went, the smile on your face slowly fell until he said the word “wine” and any sign of joy was smacked out of you

your head started spinning, you were spluttering trying to think of an answer

“o-okay, i’ll s-s-see yo-you the-there”

fuck. shit what the fuck

he notices your panicking, but decides not to say anything and save it for later

“i’ll see you later, yes. have a good afternoon, my love. excuse me.”

and he hung up

and you sat down

and tried to gather your thoughts

fuckkrignnrjgts.df.g.t.gnntghntg/h.mgfnue3rnfnnsae943203t0reend what the, god damn,

you try to rationalize. you don’t have to be there for long. as C&R’s heir’s wife, you have to go to a lot of events

and all you had to was hold on to his arm and look pretty

if just most of the people there saw you with him, you could probably sneak off and go home early

so that’s what you decided on.

you picked out your dress, got one of the maids for advice on accessories, and you were ready to go

you were in the middle of psyching yourself up to leave when the door opened and your husband walked in

he commented on how nice you looked already, and excused himself to go change

it was about 10 minutes before he came back out and started to dial driver kim’s number

you had to say something

“w-wait.”

??

then it all came spilling out, the fact you couldn’t come to the wine tasting, your past alcoholic mother, and your horrible case of methyphobia

jumin stood there paralyzed for about 5 seconds straight before straightening up and

“okay. i’ll see you tonight then.”

??????????? WHAT

you really did not see that coming

he just… accepted the fact you couldn’t go

he could see the surprise in your face

you told him how you really expected him to be more dramatic about it, making a big show about how you had to be there.

“i’m hurt that you thought i would ever force you to do anything you would not like to. your comfort is more important than my image, MC.”

you basically imploded on the spot

jhhohOOOOOH  my god

you thanked him profusely, and told him to have a good time

he gave you a kiss

and then headed out

when he came back, he gave you a lot more affection than he did before

“affection” can mean whatever you want it to 👀👀👀

to be honest, i’ve been thinking for a while and i really just couldn’t think of a scenario about 707 drinking or bringing you into a situation where people are drinking? im sorry, i tried my best doing random HCs i thought of. it’s a lot less coherent than the other ones, but it’s better than nothing.

707

when he finds out, he’s shocked

what!

because you don’t really take medication or anything for your phobia since… you don’t need any honestly, there was no way for him to know via background check

he’s very sweet about it

even though he’s constantly memeing and joking around, he’s extremely cautious making jokes about alcohol

if anyone DARES to make fun of you for it or degrades you

honey

they’ve got a big storm coming

he’ll probably put a photo album of his cosplaying going on their phone for the next few months

lol

this boy understands anxiety, so if you ever are uncomfortable because it’s been mentioned or someone around you is drinking, he’ll either try to distract you with jokes or if need be, ZOOP you out of there right away and calm you down

he’s so much more protective of you, especially in public

if you tell him to stop he’ll stop though

he just wants you to know he’s always there for you

because you’re always there for him