#IfYouNeedToBeMean asks

[gremlingottoosilly]

I keep rereading if you need to be mean and the part where König stalks her Social media kills me because imagining the reader having the millennial/Gen Z sense of humor and sharing the most niche and random memes meanwhile König is having to do a deep dive just to understand what the fuck is horse plinko and why she’s using it to describe her life

My man was struggling!!

I write him in his late thrties/early forties and oh god, having a darling with very active social media account is going to be a problem for him. Our man spends hours reading Urban Dictionary and Know Your Meme, desperately trying to train TikTok algorithm to show him memes but getting dad fishing videos and unfunniest army jokes ever.

He doesn't understand self-destructive humor and tries to spank it out of his darling(( she can't hate herself and want to die, it's bad for her!! Konig is always vigilant about it, doesn't understanding that being depressed is basically a thing for young people now. He likes Instagram photos tho

[gremlingottoosilly]

krueger mentioned!! i was so excited to see his name in IYNTBM! do you have any silly/dark hcs or plans to write about him?

Yes!! Krueger my beloved!! I feel like the only reason he isn't as popular as Konig is because he has a canon height that is shorter than 180, so people literally don't see him hehe. Hc and my plans under the cut!

I imagine him like a childhood best friend of Konig - probably around the same age, maybe Krueger is 2 years younger. He is a lieutenant in rank(idk about the mercenary ranks bear with me here, Konig is a colonel) and he wasn't promoted as much specifically because of his violent tendencies. PMC doesn't really care about war crimes as long as it's not a public spectacle, but even the companies he was working in were quite weirded out by the shit he was pulling. yes, he is the best man if you want to torture someone - and then again, he is the best torturer out here, and he sleeps next to you, drinks next to you, hits on the same girls as you etc... He is a nasty, nasty gremlin. The type to hit on the waitresses in a very sleazy manner, the type to say "Hey guys, let's protect this one" in a creepy manner if he sees a woman agreeing with him on his very controversial statements. Currently, in the timeline of IfYouNeedToBeMean, he is sitting home because of his arm injury(got stuck in the burning car, and had to break his arms to get out) and is very angsty and bored about it. Like Konig, he can't really enjoy civilian life, medical discharge is literally his worst days, and he actually has a history of depressive episodes. He DOES NOT cope well with civilian life, and his preferred hobby at home is drinking and ignoring his therapist's messages. Konig helped him quite a bit in his habit - gave the number of his therapist, bless this poor human, trying to support him as much as he can. Konig asks him to babysit his darling because he knows that more than one month at home would probably make Krueger consider killing himself, and he also trusts the man with his life - and his wife. Sebastian has a very perverted sense of morality, but he recognizes the reader as Konig's girl, and he would not touch the stuff that belongs to him. Yeah, we are "Konig's stuff" for him. If I was writing a different story and if Konig and Krueger met the reader at the same time, I would actually see them sharing her - they are not attracted to each other, but they feel like brothers sometimes and could have this mentality of sharing everything between them. Darling stuck with two nasty perverts...yeah, not the best scenario. Unlike Korangi x Reader, Konig and Krueger wouldn't sleep with each other - so you'd have to be their release every time, each time, giving him equal attention because Konig is insecure and Krueger just loves causing problems on purpose.

[gremlingottoosilly]

i keep thinking abt that one twitter post thats like "do ze american children veally have to wake up at 6:30 for schoolëndayen?" and now im imagining reciting it to könig and giggling

Konig would get really embarrassed if you're reciting German memes to him( mostly the ones that laugh at german speakers, like "No, little German boy, don't go into this electric fence" because he is a proud boy who has self-esteem problems. HOWEVER he subconsciously feeds into these memes and tries to make his accent even more stereotypical so you'd have something to laugh at. Reader in Ifyouneedtobemean implied to be from a smaller country with huge interior defense problems, but if his wifey is actually American, Konig would wake her up at night to ask the stupidest questions ever, and you'd won't have a choice in whether you want to answer or not, you have to give him something. He would do the accent for you and would recite all of these memes together, but he will be embarrassed and hurt later, so you'd have to stroke his ego a bit!! And his dick, not a bit.