#If this were the IDW comics it would be 'let's see how long it lasts this time' pretty much tho xD

[technodromes]

Morty fidgets with the box in his hands. He has picked a paper with punk decorations to wrap it, thinking that it would be fitting his friend's tastes, but now he's starting to wonder if he should have picked something less...flashy. He's never been too good with gifts. He does his best to make them as thoughtful as possible, but that's not always enough. He has sort of made peace with it, yet he can't help being anxious in this particular occasion. Bebop and Rocksteady are the first cool people who have openly welcomed him in their gang and he wants to impress them. Well, stalling won't help him. So, he takes in a deep, calming breath and approaches the mutant. "Uh, h-hey, I mean...Hi," he stutters out, mentally cringing. Great, he's already making a fool of himself. "S-So, Rocksteady mentioned that today would be your birthday an-and...I thought that I should get you, uh, something." And with that, he hands out the gifts. Under the paper there's a slick, dark purple box, a little casket holding a collection of selected music albums. They are shaped like small, flat squares and they are obviously not from Earth. "Y-You can listen to them with...well, everything. J-Just set it on whatever device you want to use. T-The thing will attach itself to it an-and...then use the device as you'll normally do." He rubs the back of his neck with a nervous smile. "T-They are...it's alien music, b-but it's basically all rock, punk and similar. I-I hope you'll like it. H-Happy birthday!" [[ Morty for Bebop's bday! || Sorry for the delay, I ended up working super late yesterday x.x ]] @countlessrealities

[Beedeedledee’s Birthday]

[🎸]   Rocksteady gifted Bebop a vintage set of punk badges earlier which he's already wearing proudly all over his red vest. And, after days of constant begging, Krang finally improved Bebop's arcade station with another bunch of 'brainless' games, as the Utrom would call them. (However, Krang also installed a device into the arcade that might be more than the Mutant bargained for, but that would be subject to another day).

Shredder on the other hand would organize a bunch of Foot Soldiers to leave a huge pile of pizza boxes in the Mutant's abode. It is the Ninja Master's way of making sure the 'giant baby' would stay quiet for a while instead of pestering him all day about going to a funfair for his birthday like every year.

And so, Bebop is stuffing another rolled-up piece of pizza into his snout before turning a curious gaze at Morthy. He didn't really expect any visitors, let alone more gifts. His pointy ears perk up in excitement and he yanks the box out of Morty's hands. "Woah, youse even brought me somethin'? Lemme see what'cha got!" The excitement of getting a gift wrapped in rad-looking papers is overpowering the urge to poke fun at Morty for acting like a shy schoolgirl, despite it lying on the top of the mutant's tongue.

Upon discovering the weird flat squares, Bebop tilts his head in confusion. But Morty's explanation quickly shifts his mood into pure joy again.

"You mean like N'-sho-v? Damn Morty, we listened to that in one of those weird spaceships. Idunno where they came from, but that sound was fuckin' rad. Rock an' I named our dinosaur after it. That's remindin' me, YOU still need a gang name too, because 'Morty' ain't it! Youse know what? I go get Rock an' then we listen these babies together! Maybe we find somethin' that's fittin' you!"

[snazzydwarf]

I watched Transformers One last night, and now that I've let it sink in over night I have some WORDS (In a positive way, this movie SLAPPED and I just wanna ramble haha)

I'll just be going over the main 4 however!

So Spoilers under the cut!!!

Okay straight off the bat I wanna preface that I'm not the most knowledgeable about the TF franchise, I'm more of a casual fan. I've seen some of the Bay movies, Bumblebee 2018, and a little of bit of a few of the TV shows. (I'm starting to read the IDW comics, but I'm not far)

So as a casual fan of the franchise this movie was EVERYTHING.

It's just so... refreshing to have a simple "friends to enemies" story line that doesn't try to get complicated. You can tell that the people working on the movie really fucking loved the franchise, and that they took the time to refine the movie.

Megatrons origin story is very believable and well paced, at time's I went "YEAH BEAT HIS ASS D" outloud. OOOOO AND HIS OPTICS CHANGING COLOURS SLOWLY IS AWESOME!!! I can't remember the exact scene (I have horrible memory) but there's this one frame of Orion standing up after being pushed away, and you can see D-16 standing up in the background behind him... and he's just covered in shadows, his optics are a muddy orange. No longer the bright yellow like they were in the beginning and UGG THAT WAS GREAT!!

Chris Hemsworth was actually really well cast as a young Optimus. I don't think he would suit a more war-torn and older Optimus Prime, however as Orion Pax I think he hit the nail on the head. He sounded young, hopeful and full of curiosity that it makes the broken friendship between D-16 and Orion Pax more impactful.

They spent the whole movie being at each other's backs, even when you can tell D was getting sick of his shit, they loved each other. D saying "I won't ever follow another leader" oof- and with his "the only person I can trust is-" being cut off short is GREAT foreshadowing.

At that point in the story I don't even know if he would have said Orion, or himself. Their bond is straining, tensions are rising high and they have hit a split road.

Elita I think, while not being as stand out as the other two, was pretty great in the movie as well. She had a more low-key character Arc, going from a stick in the mud looking for her next promotion, loosing it all because of Orion saving another bot (Jazz!!!!), being mad at him and willing to do anything to get back up the rank, having her whole world fall... and then finding hope within the last bot she would ever thought she would.

She is a figure head, someone who leads and gives commands, yet is bound and confined by rules and her superiors. I don't think she was every truly happy, but seeing Orion try his hardest and never loosing the spark of hope and bullheadedness inside him inspired her.

I believe that scene of her giving back the map to Orion was the first sign or her beginning to trust him, in addition to her not taking back the map later on.

OKAY NOW... BUMBLEBEE... well B-127 BUT MY LITTLE BEE!!

Oh you poor bastard, look at you! You're not mentally well honey, and the war has JUST started!!!! I really liked him in this film and I will defend him to the end.

Was he a little annoying? Yes. BUT it fits and it works. He's been alone for Prime knows how long, he's desperate for friends and companionship that he can't shut up now that finally, finally he has someone else to talk with.

I liked his jokes throughout the film, sure others can find it annoying (god knows the D, Elita and Orion kinda did) but underneath all of that is just a profound sadness.

You can see this when D-12 is standing up to Sentinel, he tells D to stand down, to kneel. Because he's afraid, he's afraid he's gonna watch as one of the first friends he's ever made be killed right in front of him.

He's also not as dense as other's think he is. He may be optimistic, loud and ever the chatter box who lacks the social ques of someone who's been alone for far to long, but he knows when to calm down. He was quiet when they found the bodies of the Primes, he was the one who had the Energon cube to give to Alpha Trion and he did that in a quiet and careful way cuz he knew that this was serious.

He doesn't crack a joke when they see the demise of the Primes and Sentinel's betrayal cuz he's also as shocked as the others. He's NOT an airhead, he's many things in this movie, but he isn't dumb. (also without him, legit nothing the movie was even possible, cuz he was the one who saved the SOS message of Alpha Trion and he was the one with the Energon cube... I'm just saying-)

Anyways, this was a great movie! If you haven't seen it (just spoiled urself mate lol) then please go watch it in the theaters if you are able to. It would be such a shame if this were to "flop" and we never got to see a sequel to this time line.

more thoughts in the tags cuz this has gone on long enough!

[beevean]

The whole thing with Lanolin being a bossy bitch wouldn't annoy me so much if it didn't seem like every single character who's interacted with her so far just shrinks back with their tail between their legs, no matter one's characterization. Seems a bit contradictory for characters like Sonic and Tangle not to go "Nah! Fuck that noise!" from the get-go the moment Lanolin starts to berate or condescend them especially looking back on when the comic first started. I thought Tangle was supposed to be a "kick butt girl", not a coward who needed to grow a spine. No one actually challenges her, personalities and beliefs be damned, because the conflict wouldn't happen otherwise.

God help Lanolin if she pulled the same thing towards a character like Rouge, Shadow, or Blaze, because I CAN'T for the life of me see any of them taking it and not put their foot down.

Yes, exactly.

Silver, too. Silver is the guy who was introduced as being utterly determined to kill Sonic because he thought that doing so would be the right thing, and it took him almost his entire campaign, plus concrete proof that he had been deceived, before finally changing his mind. I'm not familiar with the Rivals games, but from what I know he was quite stubborn and confrontational there as well.

No way he'd just lay down and die the moment a nobody refuses to listen to him and talks to him like he's a stupid rookie, especially not after the actual rookie endangered his life. Silver would absolutely make a scene to make himself heard if he believes he's right.

Sonic himself may not be argumentative, but he also does what he wants. This is not Sonic's style:

Why is Sonic hanging in the back with a bored expression? Aside from how representative of IDW this is, with the OC at the front and Sonic the Hedgehog in the background... why is Sonic even listening to her? Why does he trust her over his own judgment? That's all Lanolin does, urging Sonic and Tangle to be more cautious, with various levels of insufferableness:

("How do you handle her?" she's a person, not a fucking dog, you asshole. Tangle was a dumbass in this issue, but you don't have the right to speak about her like that.)

("You barely escaped last time" and you know this how...?)

I want to really emphasize that this is all Lanolin is, and all she has ever been since #57. I understand that she is cautious and serious and she would clash with Sonic because of it, but when you put everything together, there hasn't been one scene with her, aside from her excuse of an apology in #58, where she didn't have this insufferable attitude of "I'm surrounded by idiots" - even worse as the idiots in question are Sonic and Silver, who would eat her for breakfast if they wanted to.

But no one challenges her. Lanolin is allowed to do shit like slamming Whisper to the ground, and no one even tells her "maybe you were a tad too harsh bestie 🥺 remember that you said that you didn't want to be bossy 🥺". Ofc she has long crossed the line of "bossy" and landed squarely in "callous" territory, but you know, she was meant to have character development.

And yeah, Tangle doesn't look good either. With Lanolin, she really comes off as a little kid, and Lanolin as her exasperated mom. I can't sympathize with anyone here.

ngl though, Lanolin vs. Shadow would be hilarious. Now I kinda want to see it. C'mon. Let IDW Shadow shine in all of his prickery :)

[scarlettaagni]

I'm assuming you reblogged the 'send me a character' thing with intent, so I will ask about. Cyclonus! please : 3

ye ye! I guess I'll refer to G1 (cartoon) Cyclonus by large

favorite thing about them: the most nuanced bitch this side of the cartoon! Decepticons constantly pull themselves down by only looking out for themselves and being conniving little shits to each other instead of only their enemies (and that's the point) but here you have a complete inversion, a Decepticon (second-in-command, no less) who is LOYAL. not only loyal, but selfless, by their standards?? nothing matters to Cyclonus beyond Galvatron, the Decepticon cause, and combat. he should be a force of nature but is rendered inert by an incapable leader because he just wants to follow. He's a warrior first and foremost but he gets to basically be in charge and isn't dumb muscle, e.g. he knows psychology (or at least how to work a crowd). Cyclonus is one year old and yet feels like he personally met Roman gladiators or something, he's great. A character of visible, textual multitudes in the G1 cartoon, which was notoriously allergic to nuance

least favorite thing about them: bro, the character assassination, like in Headmasters anime or the comics. I know by and large the Decepticons are dumb as hell, but I get like personally offended when chars are just dumbed the hell down for the sake of a joke or to facilitate the plot. If you have to do that, just pick more-fitting character or come up with a justification, fr. you'd think watching G1 five times in a row would inoculate me to this, but no. (for the record, his weird amplified cowardice I'm counting as stupidity) This doesn't apply to like, gag manga, that's the whole point of them

least favorite thing about them pt 2: that last answer felt like cheating so I guess while I like both demon and final designs, I hate how held back his final design is! I joke about the Unicronian legs being fine af, but he had curvier legs and they took them away. His neck is blank and featureless, so is his face. He looks fine this way, but there were so many interesting details they could have kept even when making him look more uniform with previous character designs. I guess I can thank AKOM for once, for letting us see his old design in motion lol

favorite (serious) line: damn. if I gotta pick? I guess for characterization: [out of breath] "It has been too long since I had an opponent that was worthy of my FULL attention..." or alternatively, "Galvatron...!" said like Roger C. Carmel is crying in the sound booth purely just for the line delivery

favorite (silly) line: "Everybody's gotta be somewhere..." [casually waltzes past a guy Scourge just roundhoused through a screen]

brOTP: I used to joke that Cyclonus and Scourge are at most drinking buddies to me, and I learned that's literally how they met in IDW

OTP: G1? CycMags. The rituals are intricate. It's about the symmetry. Two second-in-commands, more competent than their not-up-to-the-task leaders, the Soldier and the Warrior. They pointedly unname each other. They get petty when they're in the same space together. Cyclonus saved Ultra Magnus' life so that he could end it himself. He's sure he'll win but is perfectly open to Magnus ending him. Cyclonus views him as an equal, and despite the attempts on each other's lives, that is what makes it healthier than...

NOTP: Cyclonus/Galvatron. he's down so bad but it's obviously one-sided. he can do MUCH better, he just doesn't want to. Cyclonus won't consider any other options...... unless

random headcanon: he's prone to parroting. if someone uses a particular word or phrase, he'll use it in a sentence soon after, and phrased exactly the same way too. then it just becomes part of Cyclonus' vocabulary forever. which is how you get a guy who uses words like "vanquish" and "insolent" also saying things like "wimps" and "losers"

unpopular opinion: I'm so not with the silly ear interpretation of his horns. It's cute, and I'll make some jokey references to it, or have characters refer to them as such (derisively) but I'm insistent that they're horns. He's based off a demon, the Unicronians are clearly made in Unicron's image, they're horns. I'm a bigger fan of the wings swiveling up and down

song i associate with them: this is more of a song for all the Unicronians as a group, but I just like this one

favorite picture of them: there's some silly ones I already shared but I might as well pick one he looks really good in

in short: I like the him a normal, healthy amount

[fazar234]

To Crack an Egg - Chapter 1 - Prologue (A Sonic the Hedgehog IDW Fanfic)

When you crack an egg, you end up with two halves of one.

When you try to crack an Eggman, you end up with a Restoration divided into two: one group who draws the line at taking a life...

And the other who just wants Eggman dead.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Fazar try not to spend a long break after uploading one fic challange (impossible) (gone wrong)

Jokes aside, I know it's been a while. With Amphibia having ended a year ago, and me not having a lot of ideas, I pretty much procrastinated for the past year. So I decided, why not try my hand at Sonic fanfiction? It's one of my favorite franchises, and the comics I absolutely ADORE. Now, this is an AU that kinda happened by accident, after I saw a theory by @thebwarch about how Lanolin might go too far with trying to kill Eggman. While that obviously has no chance of happening, I thought it'd make for a good AU, and then it somehow kinda spiraled into an AU about an extremist group working in secret to kill Eggman for good. And thus, this fic was born. I have @scrabbleknight to thank for helping me out with the fic on Discord. Go check out his stuff if you're into Amphibia! Anyway, without further ado, let the fic COMMENCE!

Lanolin sipped what might have been her third cup of coffee as she worked tirelessly at her desk.

It had been months since the Metal Virus outbreak, an incident that had nearly destroyed her home, friends, family, the entire world. Seeing so many people succumb to the disease, transforming into mindless, feral monsters with no desire other than to spread their infection across the world…it left a mental scar that had yet to fully heal.

She still had nightmares about the outbreak. How it ravaged the entire world, how it took away her beloved friends and family, how even she fell victim to the virus itself. She had joined the Restoration to assist in the battle against the pandemic, a battle they’d almost lost. They were able to recover, but she feared they wouldn’t be so lucky next time something like this happened.

Hence why she was staying up late at 12 AM, sitting at her computer and browsing through old files she had discovered at one of Eggman’s abandoned bases, each one documenting information on one of the doctor’s previous schemes, their execution, and their inevitable failure thanks to Sonic the Hedgehog, even though she was supposed to be up early tomorrow for a meeting with Tangle, Whisper, Jewel and Sonic about how they’d infiltrate Eggperial City. She had to find some sort of connection, anything, that could give the Restoration an idea on how to be ready for what other plans he most likely had involving his new metropolis.

Speaking of which…

“Dear Gaia,” Lanolin muttered. “I thought the Metal Virus was extreme, but this comes close in comparison…”

Reading the files, she was shaken by the Doctor’s past attempts: using Chaos to destroy Station Square, blowing up the moon, resurrecting Dark Gaia, enslaving hundreds of Wisps for his own selfish intentions, using the Phantom Ruby to conquer the world?!

Just how many incidents had that man caused? How many people had fallen victims to the Doctor’s diabolical schemes? And how many more attacks like that could they afford to take?

As she finished scrolling through the last file on her computer, however, she began to notice an odd pattern.

Whenever one of Eggman’s plans failed, he was always somehow able to escape, before eventually retaliating with another one that was sometimes worse than the last.

But how? Lanolin thought. Sonic’s the fastest thing alive. There’s no way Eggman, or anyone for that matter, can outrun him. Sonic should have gotten rid of him years ago. Yet he’s still kicking.

Lanolin was frustrated. It didn’t make any sense! The only possible explanation for why Eggman was always able to get away with his actions would be…

…that Sonic was letting him go on purpose.

Lanolin froze. As her mind started to finally put the pieces together, she began to remember what had happened during the doctor’s attack on Spiral Hill Village…

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“NO, NO, NO!!!” Dr. Eggman roared. “I had them! I won!”

Sonic, ignoring his outburst, leapt off the mech and repeatedly spin-dashed into the center with an incredible velocity, before getting behind Omega, the robot being used to power the colossal suit.

“Out…you…GO!” Sonic grunted as he pried Omega free from the mech, his eyes flashing a bright red as he fell to the ground.

“UNLEASHING STOCKPILED WRATH!” Omega exclaimed as he turned around and opened fire on the suit, causing it to explode, but not before Eggman ejected his Egg Mobile, saving his own skin in the process.

Lanolin had taken refuge behind a building as she watched the scene unfold. Her mind was still whirling from the chaos of the Metal Virus outbreak, but that didn’t stop her from recalling the events that occurred the past several minutes:

Sonic’s friends were having a party at Spiral Hill Village to celebrate the end of the Metal Virus.

Dr. Eggman had arrived to crash their party, bearing a mech suit with Omega as its power source, because apparently fate wouldn’t let them have a break.

And finally, just when all seemed lost, Sonic, by some miracle, had returned, in a burst of flame that crashed onto the battlefield, to save the day.

And now, Dr. Eggman’s mech met the same fate as his other inventions: being reduced to a heap of scrap.

“AMMO DEPLETED,” Omega stated, wobbling a bit. Poor guy must have been tuckered out from what he went through.

“S’all good, man,” Sonic assured him. “You did your part.”

“DO NOT PATRONIZE ME.”

Eggman growled. “You just couldn’t stay gone, could you?! Just had to come back and ruin my fun!”

“Always, Egg-Face. Anytime. Anywhere,” Sonic replied coolly, walking towards him. He got into a battle stance. “Come a little closer. We’ll go another round.”

Eggman’s expression twisted from anger into fear, clearly not ready to handle another defeat from Sonic. “Still sore about that whole ‘getting infected and nearly becoming a mindless machine’ thing, eh?” He chuckled nervously.

Sonic crossed his arms, clearly not happy to remember that. “That’s part of the list, yes.”

Eggman humphed, before crossing his arms, turning his cockpit around, and leaving the party, or what remained of it anyway. “Well… I still ruined your party! The day is mine!” He declared. “My next sinister plot will be unbeatable! Until next time, you wretched hedgehog!”

Sonic sighed as he watched the Doctor make his exit. “Until next time, doc. And the time after that, and the one after that,” He muttered. “Maybe you’ll eventually come around…”

As Sonic’s friends rushed to greet him, elated that he was alive, Lanolin remained where she hid, trying to process the fact that Sonic had let Dr. Eggman, the one responsible for so much suffering, live as though he’d done nothing wrong.

Sonic had let Dr. Eggman live, even when he promised his next scheme would be unbeatable, which worried her.

Sonic had let Dr. Eggman live, and she didn’t understand why.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Lanolin’s fists clenched. It all made sense now. She finally understood.

Sonic the Hedgehog.

He was the reason why she and everyone else constantly suffered in this endless cycle.

All because he valued freedom and mercy for everyone, even those undeserving of it.

Well, no more.

Since she could no longer count on Sonic to stop the Eggman Empire for good, she’d just have to take it into her own hands.

No matter what.

[ariel-seagull-wings]

EUGENE VISITOR: THE MAN WHO HOLDS THE HANDS OF DEATH

@professorlehnsherr-almashy

From the IDW Publishing Comics Ghostbusters: Volume 01, Issue 08.

Eugene Visitor was a friend of Egon Spengler who trapped Death after being fataly hit by a car.

In the 1970s, Eugene was a friend of Egon's when they attended Senn University. On one fateful night, Eugene was hit by a car while crossing a street. Eugene saw Death and managed to trap it in his bag after remembering a paper he did on Russian folklore. Before the driver could get out of the car, Eugene vanished without a trace. He reappeared 20 years later.

Eugene Visitor's story bears similarity to the russian folktale "The Soldier and Death":

Once upon a time there was a soldier who had served God and the Great Sovereign for twenty-five whole years, and had only in the end earned three biscuits, and was journeying back home. And, as he went along, he thought: "Lord! here am I; I have served my Tsar for twenty-five years, have received my food and dress, and what have I lived for after all? I am cold and hungry, and have only three biscuits to eat." So he pondered and thought, and decided to desert and run away whither his eyes might lead him.

As he went along he met a poor beggar who asked alms of him. The soldier gave him one biscuit, and kept two. And, as he trudged on, he soon came across another poor beggar, who bowed down low and asked for alms. So the soldier gave him another biscuit, and had only one left. Again on he went, and met a third beggar. The old fellow bowed low and asked for alms. The soldier got his last biscuit out, and thought: "If I give him the whole, I shall have none left; if I give half, why, this old man will come across brother-beggars, will see they have a whole biscuit, and be offended. Better let him have it all, and I shall get on somehow." So he gave his last biscuit, and had nothing left.

Then the old man asked him: "Tell me, good man, what do you wish? Of what have you need? I will help you."

"God bless you!" the soldier answered. "How should I take anything of you?—you are old and poor."

"Don't think of my poverty," he replied. "Just say what you would like, and I will requite you according to your own goodness."

"I want nothing; but, if you have any cards, give me some as a keepsake."

For the old man was Christ Himself walking on earth in a beggar's guise. The old man put his hand into his breast and drew out a pack of cards, saying: "Take them. With whomsoever you play, you will win the game; and here you have a nosebag. Whatever you meet on the way, whether wild beast or bird that you would like to catch, just say to it: 'Jump in here, beast or bird!' and your wish will be carried out."

"Thank you!" said the soldier, took the cards and the nosebag, and fared forth.

He went on and on, may-be far, may-be near, may-be short, may-be long, and arrived at a lake, on which three wild geese were swimming. Then the soldier suddenly remembered the nosebag and thought: "I'll just test this nosebag"; took it out, opened it, and said: "Hi! you wild geese, fly into my nosebag!" No sooner uttered than the geese flew straight up from the lake into the bag. The soldier grabbed the bag, tied it up, and went on his way.

He travelled on and on and came to a town. He entered an eating-house and told the inn-keeper: "Take this goose and cook it for my supper, and I will give you another goose for your pains. Change me this third one for vódka." So there the soldier sat like a lord in the inn, at his ease, drinking wine and feasting on roast goose.

It occurred to him suddenly he might peer out of the window, and he saw opposite a big palace, but not one pane of glass was whole. "What is this?" he asked the inn-keeper. "What is this palace? Why does it stand empty?"

"Why, don't you know?" the master replied. "Our Tsar built himself this palace, but cannot inhabit it; and, for seven years, it has been standing empty. Some unholy power drives every one out of the place. Every night an assemblage of devils meets there, make a row, dance, play cards, and perpetrate every sort of vileness!"

So off the soldier went to the Tsar. "Your Imperial Majesty," quoth he, "please let me spend one night in your empty palace!"

"What do you mean, fellow?" said the Tsar. "God bless you; but there have been some dare-devils like you who passed a night in this palace, and not one emerged alive!"

"Well, still, a Russian soldier cannot drown in water, or burn in fire. I served God and the Great Sovereign five-and-twenty years, and never died of it; and, for one night's service for you, I am to die! No!"

"But I tell you: a man enters the palace at night alive, and only his bones are found there in the morning!"

But the soldier stood firm: he must be admitted into the palace.

"Well," said the Tsar, "go, and God help you. Stay the night there if you will; you are free, and I won't hinder you!"

So the soldier marched into the palace, and settled himself down in the biggest saloon, took his knapsack off and his sabre, put the knapsack in a corner and the sabre on a hand-peg, sat down on a chair, put his hand into his pocket for his tobacco-pouch, lit his pipe, and smoked at his ease. Then about midnight, I don't know where from, hordes of devils, seen and unseen, scurried up, and made such a turmoil and row, and set up a dance with wild music. "What, you here, discharged soldier!" all the devils began yelling. "Welcome! Will you play cards with us?"

"Certainly; here I have a set ready. Let's start!"

He took them out and dealt round. They began, played a game out, and the soldier won; another, and the same luck; and all the finessing of the devils availed them nothing; the soldier won all the money, and raked it all together.

"Stop, soldier," the devils said. "We still have sixty ounces of silver and forty of gold. We'll stake them on the last game." And they sent a little devil-boy to fetch the silver.

So a new game commenced; and then the little devil had to pry in every nook and come back and tell the old devil: "It's no use, grandfather—we have no more."

"Off you go; find some gold!" And the urchin went and hunted up gold from everywhere, turned an entire mine inside out and still found nothing: the soldier had played everything away.

The devils got angry at losing all their money, and began to assault the soldier, roaring out: "Smash him up, brothers! Eat him up!"

"We'll see who'll have the last word if it comes to eating," said the soldier, shook the nosebag open, and asked, "What is this?"

"A nosebag," said the devils.

"Well, in you all go, by God's own spell!" And he collected them all together—so many you couldn't count them all! Then the soldier buckled the bag tightly, hung it on a peg, and lay down to sleep.

In the morning the Tsar sent for all his folks. "Come up to me and inform me how does it stand with the soldier. If the unholy powers have destroyed him, bring me his little bones."

So off they went and entered the palace, and there saw the soldier trudging up and down gaily in the rooms and smoking his pipe. "Well, how are you, discharged soldier? We never expected to see you again alive. How did you pass the night? What kind of bargain did you make with the devils?"

"What devils! Just come and look what a lot of gold and silver I won off them. Look, what piles of it!" And the Tsar's servants looked and were amazed. And the soldier told them: "Bring me two smiths as fast as you can. Tell them to bring an iron anvil and a hammer."

Off they went helter-skelter to the smiths, and the matter was soon arranged.

The smiths arrived with iron anvil and with heavy hammers.

"Now," said the soldier, "take this nosebag and beat it hard after the ancient manner of smiths."

So the smiths took the nosebag, and they began to whisper to each other: "How fearfully heavy it is! The devil must be in it."

The devils shrieked in answer: "Yes, we are there, father—yes, we are there! Kinsmen, help us!"

So the smiths instantly laid the nosebag on the iron anvil, and they began to knock it about with their hammers as though they were hammering iron.

Very soon the devils saw that they could not possibly stand such treatment, and they began to shriek: "Mercy on us—mercy on us! Let us out, discharged soldier, into the free world. Unto all eternity we will not forget you, and into this palace never a devil shall enter again. We will forbid everybody—all of them—and drive them all a hundred versts away."

So the soldier bade the smiths stop, and as soon as he unbuckled the nosebag the devils rushed out, and flew off, without looking, into the depths of hell—into the abysses of hell. But the soldier was no fool; and as they were flying out he laid hold of one old devil—laid hold of him tight by his paw. "Come along," he said; "give me some written undertaking that you will always serve me faithfully."

The unholy spirit wrote him out this undertaking in his own blood, gave it him, and took to his heels.

All the devils ran away into the burning pitch, and got away as fast as they could with all their infernal strength, both the old ones and the young ones; and henceforth they established guards all round the burning pit and issued stern ordinances that the gates be constantly guarded, in order that the soldier and the nosebag might never draw near.

The soldier came to the Tsar, and he told him some kind of tale how he had delivered the palace from the infernal visitation.

"Thank you," the Tsar answered. "Stay here and live with me. I will treat you as if you were my brother."

So the soldier went and stayed with the Tsar, and had a sufficiency of all things, simply rolled in riches, and he thought it was time he should marry. So he married, and one year later God gave him a son. Then this boy fell into such a fearful illness—so terrible that there was nobody who could cure it—and it was beyond the skill of the physicians; there was no understanding of it. The soldier then thought of the old devil and of the undertaking he had given him, and how it had run in the undertaking: "I shall serve you eternally as a faithful servant." And he thought and said: "What is my old devil doing?"

Suddenly the same old devil appeared in front of him and asked: "What does your worship desire?"

And the soldier answered: "My little boy is very ill. Do you know how to cure him?"

So the devil fumbled in his pocket, got out a glass, poured cold water into it, and put it over the head of the sick child, and told the soldier: "Come here, look into the water." And the soldier looked at the water; and the devil asked him: "Well, what do you see?"

"I see Death standing at my son's feet."

"Well, he is standing at his feet; then he will survive. If Death stands at his head, then he cannot live another day." So the devil took the glass with the water in it and poured it over the soldier's son, and in that same minute the son became well.

"Give me this glass," the soldier said, "and I shall never trouble you for anything more." And the devil presented him with the glass, and the soldier returned him the undertaking.

Then the soldier became an enchanter, and set about curing the boyárs and the generals. He would go and look at the glass, and instantly he knew who had to die and who should recover. Now, the Tsar himself became ill, and the soldier was called in. So he poured cold water into the glass, put it at the Tsar's head, and saw that Death was standing at the Tsar's head.

The soldier said: "Your Imperial Majesty, there is nobody in the world who can cure you. Death is standing at your head, and you have only three hours left of life."

When the Tsar heard this speech, he was furious with the soldier. "What, what!" he shrieked at him. "You who have cured so many boyárs and generals, cannot do anything for me! I shall instantly have you put to death."

So the soldier thought and thought what he should do. And he began to beseech Death. "O Death," he said, "give the Tsar my life and take me instead, for it doesn't matter to me whether I live or die; for it is better to die by my own death than to suffer such a cruel punishment."

And he looked in the glass, and saw that Death was standing at the Tsar's feet. Then the soldier took the water and sprinkled the Tsar, and he recovered completely. "Now, Death," said the soldier, "give me only three hours' interval in order that I may go home and say farewell to my wife and my son."

"Well, you may have three hours. Go," Death replied.

So the soldier went away home, lay down on his bed, and became very ill.

And when Death was standing very near him, she said, "Now, discharged soldier, say good-bye quickly—you have only three minutes left to live in the bright world."

So the soldier stretched himself out, took his nosebag from under his head, opened it, and asked: "What is this?"

Death answered: "A nosebag."

"Well, if it is a nosebag, then jump into it!"

And Death instantly jumped straight into the bag. And the soldier, ill as he was, jumped up from his bed, buckled the nosebag together firmly, very tightly, threw it on his shoulder, and went into the Bryánski Woods, the slumbrous forest. And he went there, and he hung this bag on the bitter aspen, on the very top twig, and he went back home.

From that day forward nobody died in that kingdom: they were born, and they kept on being born, and they never died. And very many years went by, and the soldier never took his nosebag down. One day he happened to go into the town. He went, and on his way he met such an old, old lady, so old that on whichever side the wind blew, she inclined. "Oh, what an old lady!" the soldier said. "Why, it is almost time she died."

"Yes, father," the old dame replied. "The time has come and gone long since. At the time when you put Death into the nosebag I had only one hour left in which to live in the white world. I should be very glad to have some rest; but unless I die, earth will not take me up; and you, discharged soldier, are guilty of an unforgivable sin in God's eyes. For there is no single soul left on earth who is tortured as I am."

Then the soldier stayed and began to think. "Yes, yes; it would be better to let Death out; perhaps I, too, might die. And beyond this, too, I have many sins on my conscience. Thus it is better now whilst I am still strong and I bear pain on this earth; for when I shall become very old then it will be all the worse for me to suffer anything."

So he got up and he went up into the Bryánski Woods, and he went up to the aspen, and saw there the nosebag was hanging very high, shaking in the winds to all sides. "Oh, you Death," he says, "are you still alive?"

A faint voice came out of the nosebag: "Yes, father, I am alive."

So the soldier took the nosebag, opened it, and he let out Death.

And he himself lay down on his bed, bade farewell to his wife and son, and he begged Death that he might die. And she[1] ran outside the door with all the strength in her feet. "Go!" she cried. "It is the devils who shall slay you—I shall not slay you!"

So the soldier remained alive and healthy. And he thought: "Shall I go straight into the burning pitch, for then the devils will throw me into the seething sulphur until such time as my sins shall have been melted from off me." And he bade farewell from all, and he went with the knapsack in his hand straight into the burning pitch.

And he went on: may-be near, may-be far, may-be downhill, may-be uphill, may-be short, may-be long; and he at last arrived in the abyss, and he looked, and all round the burning cauldron there stood watchmen. As soon as he stopped at the gate a devil asked who was coming.

"A guilty soul to be tortured."

"Why do you come? What are you carrying with you?"

"Oh, a nosebag."

And the devil shrieked out of his full throat and made a tremendous stir. All the infernal powers roused themselves and looked out of the gates and windows with their unbreakable bolts.

And the soldier went all round the cauldron, and he called out to the master of the cauldron: "Let me in, please; do let me into the cauldron. I have come to you to be tortured for my sins."

"No, I will not let you in. Go away wherever you will—there is no room for you here."

"Well, if you will not let me in to be tortured, at least give me two hundred souls. I will take them up to God, and perhaps the Lord will pardon my faults."

And the master of the cauldron answered: "I will add fifty more souls to the lot; only do go away!" So he instantly ordered two hundred and fifty souls to be counted out and to be taken to the rear gates in order that the soldier might not see him.

So the soldier gathered up the guilty souls, and he went up to the gates of Paradise.

The Apostles saw him, and said to the Lord: "Some soldier or other has come up here with two hundred and fifty souls from hell!"

"Take them into Paradise, but do not let the soldier in."

But the soldier had given up his nosebag to one guilty soul, and had told it: "Just look here. When you enter the gates of Paradise, say at once: 'Soldier, jump into the nosebag!'"

Then the gates of Paradise opened, and the souls began to go in; and this guilty soul also went in, and for sheer joy forgot all about the soldier.

Thus the soldier was left behind, and could not find any home in either place, and for long after that he still had to live and go on living in the white world. And after very many days he died.

[glapplebloom]

So let’s see how much of a train wreck the rest of the special is...

We begin with basically all the negative energies created yesterday gone. They blame it on the stress but Swift Foot plans to continue to pick on it. That’s when we learn that there was apparently a 4th Tribe, forgotten by time and went off to do their own things with flapjacks and Dead by Daylight  Club Members. The leader of this Tribe, King Thrace, found an island and named it and his people after himself.

So, Thracians are a real thing. I won’t go into details about it, but look it up yourself if you are curious. I’m going to just question the comic, like what makes this 4th Tribe any different from the other three? They look just like Earth Ponies. They have access to no magic. They don’t seem like creatures who can survive underwater. Like as far as this presents itself, it’s some jerk who wants stuff all to himself and doesn’t care for anyone else. 

Swift Foot works to sow the seeds of doubt, like how Yona got two baskets instead of a cart. Luckily for the group, when an Orthos shows up Swift Foot accidentally gives her team the win. In the second challenge, she again sows doubt with the crew by making them do things on their own instead of the true purpose: working with the rest of the teams to create one good bridge. This time it works since everyone failed.

It seems to be working as the Third Feat is upon them as the pressure and Swift Foot is getting to them. And the third feat is dealing with a Chimera. With all three things going on, it's definitely an uphill battle. So much so that Sandbar had to drag Ocellus out of her cage to get her to change into something to stop it. Seeing this, Swift Foot doesn’t understand since she’s working hard to get them to abandon each other but they continue to work together despite the negativity.

Thanks to Ocellus, they win the Third Feat but as soon as they are in a private area, they begin to argue. This continues to the next issue as Fleet Foot begins second guessing herself as we flashback to before she arrived. Basically, with how they act I wonder how they even managed to live as long as they have if they were indeed a 4th Tribe. Her sisters and her father don’t seem to care about each other. I wouldn’t be surprised if any ruler didn’t just kill the previous to become the current ruler.

And just as quickly as the arguing started, it ended as it was revealed Yona’s friends were learning how to speak Yak in private to surprise Yona. Everybody begins to apologize as Swift Foot is won over by the Magic of Friendship. And now united with Swift Foot fully on board the Friendship Express, they now have to complete the final feat: A Hydra. With a solid game plan and Ocellus making her own Hydra, they completed the final Feat in the fastest time. 

All that gave them second place, as Swift Foot decides to leave them all with the idea that she’ll return home to convince them the Magic of Friendship and to Protect her friends. And we NEVER see her or Thrace again... Unless you play the Mobile Game where she comes back to get Starlight’s help to convince her father to accept Friendship. It doesn’t work as we last see King Diomedes double the troops’ drill because he feels something is up.

Starting with the positive, the Artwork is great. Rarely does IDW not deliver on the artwork. It is nice to see more about the Student Six and them interacting with each other. It shows how tight this group is and no creature like Swift Foot was going to do any lasting damage. But the story overall was weak. Thrace has no real importance to the series or even this comic special. Swift Foot is a low rent Cozy Glow, complete with easily won over by the Power of Friendship. And the lore additions make no sense.

How would I do this? Let’s say for starters, Swift Foot tries and fails harder than she does. Her tactics get shot down one after another. Silverstream points out how often the Ponies defeated threats before her people could hear about it. Yona clarifies this is normal Yak tongue (not yakkity yak as the IDW comics put it). How SUPER accommodating the School is for non-Ponies like Ocellus being freely able to transform when she wants to or Gems being plentiful.

And instead of her slowly trying to pry them apart, she is slowly won over by the Power of Friendship to the point that she tells them her true intentions and how she doesn’t want to follow it anymore. To the point that she does the Magic Phone Call to her father to plea with him to not go through with his threat, only for him to renounce her and promise to return.

Only for the Season 10 comics to begin with Blonn Di and Shining Light (Swift Foot’s twin sisters) to show up to give them a warning. There’s a big threat coming and the six creatures easily defeat the Thrace Kingdom. This will eventually lead to the idea of Twilight creating the Friendship Expeditions to go to these new locations to hopefully strengthen their defenses while building up the final threat of this series. But more on that when I get to the Season 10 comics.

Feats of Friendship was a year before they started on Season 10 so it could totally work.

[scruffyplayssonic]

Are the ArchieSonic comics actually an 80’s/90’s syndicated cartoon? Episode 66: Summary (part one)

Welcome back to my investigation of whether Archie Comics’ Sonic the Hedgehog series was actually a syndicated cartoon from the 80’s and 90’s! Well friends, I finally finished it. My previous post covered the final two issues of what is in my opinion, the quintessential final finale of the ArchieSonic series. I’ve now gone through all 65 episodes of this theoretical syndicated cartoon that ArchieSonic is supposed to be and covered all of them. So at this point you may justifiably be wondering, “Why is this guy still talking? What’s left?” Well you see, a long time has passed since I started this series. My first post exploring episodes 1 - 5 was posted in December 2022, over 19 months ago! Are you able to remember all the stuff I’ve talked about since then? I know I sure can’t! On top of that, this blog has evolved a lot from what I originally planned. I was expecting most posts to just be short write-ups, showing examples of the comics that fit what the relevant cartoon episode was supposed to be, but over time I branched out into regularly doing reviews of full issues. It took me 13 posts to fully explore all of the various ArchieSonic finales, I had that much to say about them! 

If you would like to go back and have a look at any of the previous episodes again, I’ve made up a full table of contents for that. But I thought it was only appropriate to do one final summary, going over every episode of the cartoon and seeing which, if any, ArchieSonic comic issues fit the bill. Due to Tumblr image limits I’m going to have split this into two parts again, but you can find part two here. 

Okay, let’s get started!

Episodes 1 - 5: Origin story. Make it a week-long event. Can sell it later on VHS as The Movie.

Well obviously every story has a starting point. …okay, maybe not every story. IDWSonic’s first issue picks up quite a ways into the Sonic lore, after the end of Sonic Forces. But we’re talking about ArchieSonic, not IDW. I noticed that ArchieSonic both started and ended with part of Sonic’s origin story, as Sonic mini #0 gave us a story showing how Robotnik took over the planet and Sonic joined the Freedom Fighters, and Sonic #290 was part of the Genesis of a Hero arc, adapting the original Sonic games. So for this category I’m picking the original Sonic mini-series, numbered issues 0 - 3, even though it was only four issues instead of five.

Episode 6: Body swap

There were a few body swap stories, some good, some extremely forgettable. I’m picking the one that had the biggest impact on the series, which was “Circuit Me” in Sonic #146. In this story an accident sent Sally’s mind into Nicole’s hand-held, and Nicole’s mind into Sally’s body. Though this didn’t last very long, this issue marked the beginning of an important character arc for Nicole, who would in later issues go on to develop her own body and personality.

Episode 7: Everybody shrinks

There were a few different stories involving shrinking, but only one where “everybody” shrinks. That would be “A Little Sonic Goes a Long Way!” from Sonic #8.

Episode 8: Now they’re giant!

There were also a number of stories involving giants, but I think the one that best fits this category is “Zone Wars: Giant Robotno,” from Sonic Super Special #12.

Episode 9: Fall in love at first sight! Oh wait, turns out she’s evil.

Yup, we definitely got this one. Sonic #28 and #29 featured a story called “Growing Pains,” in which Tails fell in love with a character named Fiona Fox. The catch was that “Fiona” was actually a robot built by Robotnik to lure Tails into a trap.

Episode 10: Uh-oh, someone has the hiccups!

Actually… no. We never saw anyone in ArchieSonic get the hiccups, as far as I can remember. The closest we ever got was this nonsense from Sonic #93.

Episode 11: Parody “A Christmas Carol”

Yup, and in one of the earliest issues too. Shout out to “Sonic’s Christmas Carol,” from Sonic #6.

Episode 12: Parody “It’s a Wonderful Life”

Ehhh… debatable, but I’m going to ultimately say no. The closest we got was Knuckles’ “Afterlife,” story in Sonic #121 - 124, after he died and the goddess Aurora treated him to his own personal, “This is Your Life” episode.

Episode 13: Do a standard adventure, but the hero’s also dealing with a cold

I’m going to say no to this one too. Sonic #38’s “Bedtime Tails,” did feature Sonic with a cold, but he was bedridden rather than going on a standard adventure.

Episode 14: Evil twin

Another yes. Sonic #11’s story, “The Good, the Bad, and the Hedgehog” introduced Evil Sonic, who would become a recurring pain in the butt in the series and later undergo a makeover to become Scourge the Hedgehog.

Episode 15: Robot duplicate

Well, obviously. I’m choosing Sonic #25 for this one, which was the first appearance of Metal Sonic (although he was misnamed as Mecha Sonic at the time).

Episodes 16 - 20: MacGuffin chase! Another week-long, VHS-friendly event

There’s one MacGuffin that dominates all of Sonic media, and that’s the Chaos Emeralds. The characters were chasing after those gems on multiple instances in the comics, including almost the entire length of the post-reboot era, when the Freedom Fighters were trying to restore the shattered world.

Episode 21: Love interest returns. Maybe she’s good now?

Fiona Fox again. Only this time it’s the real Fiona, not a robot duplicate. This one was just as inclined to be violent to Tails as the robot model though.

Episode 22: Explosive case of amnesia and Episode 23: Hero is brainwashed to be evil

Two in one for this story - in Sonic #27 and #28, Sonic lost his memory when he got conked on the head, and was tricked by Robotnik into turning on the Freedom Fighters.

Episode 24: Villain forced to be good

Well there was Sonic #108, when Robotnik came back from the dead and after being hunted down by Eggman, sought asylum with the Freedom Fighters. But I think the better example is from the Sonic X comics, during the instances that Dr Eggman decided to take on the persona of a luchador called El Gran Gordo.

Episode 25: Hero and villain reluctantly team up against a greater foe

Yup, this happened a few times, with Robotnik/Eggman having ulterior motives, of course. Both Robo-Robotnik and Enerjak were considered big enough threats that the Freedom Fighters and Robotnik’s forces briefly put aside their differences to cooperate.

Episode 26: Hero and villain glued/chained/otherwise stuck together and begrudgingly cooperate to gain their autonomy

This happened a couple of times too. Sonic and Robotnik were locked up together by the alien collector Car-Heem, and Knuckles and Monk were hunted for sport by… err, Hunter the Hunter. They were forced to wear collars that shocked them if they were too far apart.

Episode 27: Gain super speed

Obviously Sonic had super speed from day one, but there were a couple of other characters over the course of the series who also gained super speed at one point, either temporarily or permanently. The most prominent case was Mina Moongoose, who suddenly found she could run real fast one day for reasons she (at the time) could not explain.

Episode 28: Stuck in slow motion

This one didn’t exactly happen, but considering that from Sonic’s perspective that being without his super speed is in his mind being stuck in slow motion, I’m going to allow this one. And Sonic temporarily lost his speed in Sonic #38.

Episode 29: Time travel to dinosaur times

Yes, in Sonic #12. It was painful.

Episode 30: Time travel to medieval times

Not exactly time travel, but there was a partial adaptation of Sonic and the Black Knight in Sonic #197. Close enough.

Episode 31: Time travel to the distant year of 2000

Travelling to the future came up a few times, mostly involving Silver the Hedgehog.

Episode 32: Almost halfway through. Time for a clip show!

Sonic #57 served as the mid-series clip show, showing flashbacks to most of the previous issues.

Episode 33: Animal character(s) become human or vice/versa

After the universe got rebooted in Sonic #252, Muttski was changed from Sonic’s pet dog to a sentient Mobian. It was… weird.

Episode 34: Idiot comic relief character becomes a genius

Tails was never exactly an idiot, but in the early issues he was treated a lot more like an incompetent little kid whose inexperience and naivety led to mishaps from time to time. In Sonic #14 he ate a fruit from the Mobius Tree of Wisdom and briefly became a super-genius. While this did wear off, this was later retconned to be the cause of Tails becoming a mechanical genius to rival Eggman.

Episode 35: We’re in space now!

Numerous times. There was even a whole arc of Sonic being “Tossed in Space” and trying to get home to Mobius.

Episode 36: New love interest! They get together, yet she never shows up again

There were a few cases of this. The most memorable is the swan lady Vector was trying to charm in “The First Date,” spanning across Knuckles #26 - 28, because of the horrible art and how obnoxiously sexist Vector was in that arc.

Episode 37: Sidekick is kidnapped

Poor Tails got kidnapped or held hostage so many times during the series. Arguably the most memorable case was in Sonic #86 when Metal Sonic grabbed him and left him tied above a volcano that was about to erupt.

Episode 38: Hero is kidnapped (sidekick gets to shine) 

Yup, this happened a few times in the series. In post-reboot, Sonic was kidnapped by the Naugus twins after rescuing Tails from the events of Sonic 2 (8-bit). Tails allegedly returned the favour and saved Sonic that time, but we never actually got to see the rescue. So let’s go with Sonic #188, when Sally and Amy saved Sonic after he was abducted by a bunch of villains teaming up.

Episode 39: Babysitting hijinks

This happened a couple of times. The most memorable one is from Sonic #22, when Sally was trying to get Tails to settle down and go to bed. Unfortunately, she didn’t have a copy of “Go the F*** to Sleep,” available.

As I mentioned earlier, I have to split this summary into two seperate parts. You can find the conclusion here!

[latin-dr-robotnik]

Hey remember that ask about how IDW SonAmy would progress in the comics? It’s me again :D (Thank you soooo much for that whole essay I had a BLAST reading it) Basically same question, except Frontiers shook me all the way with the character development between Sonic and Amy in the MAINLINE GAMES. What’s your view of the future of those two with Ian Flynn as the writer? :D

Oh! Long time no see! I still remember that one ask, it was a great exploration of the future of their dynamic after they seemed to reach such a stable point. I haven't checked the comics since... issue 40 something? Were there any SonAmy moments since that ask? I'm very out of the loop.

I'll just set up a line break to not clutter every dashboard with my many thoughts.

Anyway, yes! Frontiers SonAmy! I'm still thinking a lot about it and looking for more evidence. I have played the game, but I'm currently searching for Sonic's secret monologues about Amy, especially the umbrella one and "Amy... I wish I made up my mind sooner". I even installed a mod to reduce the time it takes for Sonic to talk (from 10 minutes to 3 minutes), so I'm in the middle of the research process for a video going full analysis mode on the dynamic. BUT! I can spare some thoughts!

First of all, there are some things that I think we have to accept from Frontiers:

The game is setting up a new direction for the franchise, and for a good part of its runtime it acknowledges all past interactions and events in Sonic's history, before attempting to add its own flavor on top.

It seems this future plan is going to shake up the main cast substantially. Judging by the ending, the main cast is gonna go their own separate ways for a while, and I wouldn't be surprised if the next game has some even bigger character changes. It's gonna be controversial, but that feels like the direction Flynn and Sonic Team are going towards.

With all of this in mind, let's delve into the future of mainline SonAmy:

Sonic Frontiers is like IDW Sonic #2, but reversed: This is my main takeaway from the game, and it all comes from that one scene where Amy talks about sharing her love with the world. The game likes to hint that Amy was profoundly impacted by the death of the Kocos, the one species that, when helped fulfill their last wish, liberate the "soul" of its original owner, since it's revealed in Ouranos Island that the Koco were meant to be just lucky charms, and shouldn't have kept the memories and (presumably) spirits of the Ancients that died fighting The End. Amy wants to help everyone, especially those who seem to be tormented souls that won't get any rest until their final wishes are completed. This sets up the main drama with Sonic's point of view, and gives us our very first revelation.

Now, why "IDW Sonic #2 but reversed"? Back then, we saw Amy fully express her love and devotion to Sonic, showing that she loves him for what he is, and she won't change it. She'll also have her own priorities, and won't just blindly follow Sonic if there's somewhere else where she's needed. In Frontiers, it's Sonic who reveals that he appreciates Amy for what she is, and he wants her to be safe first and foremost. He won't stop her from going across the world spreading all her love to those who need it, he actually encourages her and tells her he'll wait for her to come back and tell him everything. For someone like Sonic, this feels as close to a full "I love you" we're ever gonna get, and it's delivered in such a chill and casual way.

The future of these two looks brighter than ever: some scumbag dared telling me "you must be crying because there's no SonAmy at all in Frontiers" and I was like "did you actually play the game?" Sonic is perfectly chill around Amy, and he seems more open than ever to learn more about her and just be together. They're reaching what I called my "golden status" back in the day: going on adventures, being around each other, just having a great time. Frontiers casually dropped some bombshells on us, and while I wouldn't get behind this exact conclusion unironically, I love that our SonAmy friends over at Twitter looked at their scenes and literally posted "Yup, they're clearly dating now".

What's next? It seems like Amy's outbursts of love towards Sonic are being downplayed in main canon now, following this trend that started in Boom and continued in IDW Sonic. This is already a pretty controversial topic, and I think it's not gonna go away anytime soon. The future under Ian Flynn's pen and Sonic Team's supervision seems to be one where Sonic and Amy go into this weird "but are they actually dating each other or not?" state. Their interactions are gonna be more and more casual and less wacky than back in the 2000's, and the teasing is probably gonna be more subtle than ever, because they won't outright confirm they're dating, but at the same time they want us to suspect something is happening behind the scenes.

And, like Greeny pointed out recently, there's a chance we might be heading into a canon timeskip that'll change characters and possible even age them up. I've had similar suspicions after watching the first post-credits scene but... idk yet, if it happens it'll probably affect Sonic and Amy's dynamic a lot.

Like I said, I'm still in the research phase of my SonAmy Frontiers analysis, but those cutscenes and monologues... I don't know... they got me thinkin', y'know? They do be looking very sus!

[transformers-fan-continuities]

Spotlight: Ties That Bind

This one’s a doozy folks! If you missed the last spotlight you can go read it here, but strap in for The Ties That Bind, an absolutely brilliant take on humanformers. It’s hosted here at @tiesthatbind-tf​ created by @artsy-hobbitses​!

Q) Give us a run down of your cont! What's it about, what's it called, what's it like?

Ties That Bind is a humanformers-based original continuity which is part Science Fiction and part Alternate History where the invasion of Quintessons and introduction of their technology to Earth in 1920 sets the world and humankind on a completely different trajectory. The active narrative spans a period from 1920 to 2070, covering the First and Second Quintesson Wars, the interplanetary Antillan War (leading to the creation of Unicron on Mars) and the Great War which involves the Autobots, Decepticons and Functionist stalwarts, and how it affects the characters.

The cast is pretty sprawling and the narrative is mostly centred around human drama with bits of humor interspaced and a dash of horror (mostly centred around how the previous government often chose to utilize the technology left behind from the Quintesson Wars to create new systems of oppression, which affected many of the characters, in the name of worldwide rebuilding efforts).

Q) What characters take the lead here? Any personal favorites?

I will admit to this continuity being very much heavy on the relationship between Old Bastards  Optimus Prime and Megatron, which is given considerable weight as they were best friends who had known each other since childhood and were deeply intrinsic to each other’s growths as individuals, which makes it all the worse when guilt and betrayal enter the party. Despite being captains in two corners of this battle, there’s a part of them that just cannot let go of their pasts together and they need to reconcile with how this will affect their agenda (Megatron) and how they lead their team (Optimus) who don’t necessarily share their history.

Other characters with significant development include:

Starscream, a Cold Construct in a toxic working relationship with Megatron with whom he is hiding a dark secret, who struggles to balance the underhanded viciousness he believes he needs to gain power and his innate desire from his Senate days to make the world a better place. 

Windblade, a Camien native who fights her government’s apathy concerning the situation on Earth which they see as unsalvageable compared to their more Utopian society. 

Prowl, a Cold Construct raised from childhood to be a cop in a police state, who finds out that he was brainwashed several times  to ensure his obedience and efficacy as a government asset and is now working to reclaim some semblance of the humanity he was never allowed to feel and figure out how much of him is who he really is and how much is programming.

Hound, a sheltered Beastman who joined the fight to ensure that Beastmen the world over would have the same rights he did in his homeland of Shetland Isle, but is forcefully stripped of his humanity and faced with his animal side during the war and has to relearn what personhood means amid his trauma.

Q) Is there a bigger point to this, like a theme or some catharsis? Or is it just fluffy fun?

God with the amount of time I spent sleepless trying to figure out how the logistics of this or the semantics of that were supposed to work in universe, I cannot for the life of me say it’s fluffy fun, but I can’t exactly say it hasn’t been pretty engaging either!

There’s elements of war being messy for everyone involved where there doesn’t seem to be a clear line between friend and foe at times, but I think for most part it prescribes to  Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s belief that people are inherently good, but are corrupted by the evils of society. Despite its dark themes (Including but not limited to child abuse, torture, illegal experimenation  and brainwashing), love and friendships do prevail, kindness does beget kindness, found families are made, even the smallest actions matter, and things do get better because there are people on both sides who genuinely want to, and strive to make it better.

With Cold Constructs and Beastmen, it also delves heavily into what it means to be human; to have agency and personhood.

There’s also a strong undercurrent of taking responsibility for one’s actions, even if they were made with the best of intentions (Avoidance of this is what eats up Starscream and Megatron from the inside, and what Starscream eventually embraces).

Q) How long have you been working on it?

There’s two answers to this!

I’ve had a Humanformers-related universe going all the way back to 2007 around the time the first Bayformers came out---basically I had a choice between learning to draw cars or draw people (I was an anthro artist back then) and I immediately chose people.

The 2007 draft however had no worldbuilding or connective storylines and was mostly a fun little venture into character design and practice which were actually instrumental to me experimenting and learning how to draw humans properly.

I left the fandom for about a decade and when I came back to it in late 2020 around September via the War for Cybertron series on Netflix, I immediately got hooked on the 2005 IDW comics I missed out on and wanted to get around to updating my old designs as well find a way to translate several of the concepts I wanted to explore in a human sense, so the 2020 update became its own full-fledged original continuity with detailed worldbuilding and history.

You can see the artistic evolution of several characters from their original incarnation below!

Q) It’s incredible to see your artistic improvement too! Give us a behind-the-scenes look! Show us a secret ;))

Say hello to my workspace! I’ve been working exclusively on the Ipad Pro since late 2016, which is fantastic because I can basically whip up concepts and sketches on the go anywhere. Nowhere is too out of bounds to work on TTB!

Also, do enjoy this sneak peek at true!form Rung, whose synthezoid human body took years to perfect.

Q) YESSSSS alright I must admit this is one of my favorite Rungs, and certainly my fave within TTB. Amazing. Phew, anyway. Where did you draw inspiration from? What canons, what other fiction, what parts of real life?

TTB was initially conceived as a faithful retelling of the IDW 2005 narrative before it was transformed into its own continuity and as such, it borrows heavily from concepts and mirrored plot lines introduced in that run! I chose to have the series inspired off it specifically for the amount of history and worldbuilding it introduced to the franchise.

Anime like Gunslinger Girl and Beastars inspired the depictions of Cold Constructs, especially the more harrowing aspects of their upbringing as government assets instead of children, and Beastmen (Beastformers) in TTB.

I haven’t depicted the world itself in my art all too much, but the architecture from Tiger and Bunny, which has sort of a futuristic Art Deco feel to it, is what you’d usually see in major cities. There is an in-universe reason for that---with a Point Of Divergence set in 1920 followed by 25 years (an entire generation) of progress basically being kicked to the curb due to the Quintesson wars, mankind was basically in a time-locked bubble until the end of the wars, and by then their heroes were 1920s-style rebellion leaders, which lead to 1920s fashion (especially among the Manual Working Class---Megatron, Jazz and Optimus all rock 1920s fashion at some point of their lives) and architecture being celebrated and retained as sort of a reminder of how things were before The Invasion. This anime’s background design is also where I adopted the tiered system TTB’s major metropolises are often built on (with each tier being designated to a different working class) from.

The main artistic style itself is a love letter to 90s cartoons, in particular Gargoyles’ deep and drama-driven character narratives and designs as well as The Centurions’ take on body armor logistics.

I also take inspiration, especially armor-wise, from the characters’ given heritage and background. As an example, Hotrod who is depicted as Irish has the flames on his armor done up with Celtic knots. Welsh aristocrat Mirage’s armor bears olden knight-style filigree and has his Autobot logo designed as a coat of arms. Indonesian Soundwave’s armor and Decepticon logo takes cues from Batik and Wayang Kulit while their mask is based off the Barong.

Q) They are absolutely gorgeous! Show off something you're really proud of, a particular favorite part of your cont.

The worldbuilding in general! Most Humanformers I’ve seen tend to treat it like a fun exercise which it is and is definitely valid, but I found myself wanting a full-fledged world to lose myself in and I sought to try and make that world myself by drafting a detailed history and timeline of events which would affect ongoing narratives, having indepth worldbuilding to include almost all societal aspects of the universe and  expanding on the concept of Beastmen and Cold Constructs existing in a human setting.

I’m not so secretly proud of the research and diversity included to make the cast look like the multicultural, globally-based team that they were meant to be instead of being locked to a single region! My original draft from 2007 was, to put it simply, quite culturally monolithic and I wanted to improve on that aspect with TTB.

I’m also proud that I’ve kept to it this far! I’m a notoriously flaky person jumping from one idea/fandom to another and to have kept at this continuity for the better part of ten months is honestly a personal feat.

Art-wise, this scene depicting a young Megatron working alongside Terminus and Impactor (cameo by @weapon-up-wallflower​‘s OC Missit!)  is definitely one of my favorites since it helps build up the world they live in and plays to familial bonds and comfort found in one another despite their less than ideal circumstances.

Q) Everything has come together so beautifully, you absolutely should be proud. What other fan canons do you love and why? Would you like to see them interviewed?

I am dying to hear more from @iscaredspider​’s Sparkpulse continuity! Her designs are MIND-BLOWINGLY GORGEOUS and I want to hear more about what inspired her to work on it!

Also YOU. Yes YOU BLURRITO. LET ME HEAR MORE ABOUT SNAP.

Q) [wails and squirms away in the mortifying ordeal of being known but in a very flattered way] I WILL SOMEDAY I PROMISE aflghsdjg thank you QwQ

Well that was fantastic, Oni, thank you muchly! A magnificent continuity with so much to look forward to! Coming up next is another personal fave of mine, the first inspiration for SNAP, so stick around...

[toaarcan]

Thoughts on Sonic 2.

So, I just finished my Liveblog of Sonic 2.

With that in mind, I thought I’d share some of my more detailed thoughts now that I’m not jumping back and forth between the tabs every few minutes.

I’ll give a disclaimer that I watched this one without seeing the previous film. I wasn’t remotely interested in the story that one was trying to tell, and I jumped straight into this one because the presence of more actual Sonic characters gave me the vague hope that it would be about Sonic and co. and not a bunch of humans. For the most part... it delivered on that front.

Overall, I think the movie was... decent. It wasn’t amazing, but it’s a solid superhero movie. Genre-wise, that’s what this is, and I’d put it on par with the middle-to-good range of Marvel flicks, and miles better than most of what DC shits out. Not that the latter is a high bar to clear, but still decent.

I will reiterate that I think these movies would work significantly better in pure animation than live action. Sonic is a character whose design is rooted in classic cartoons, and the further away he gets from that, the less he works.

Character-wise, it was pretty good. Tails and Knuckles have had a really rough time in official material over the past... decade. When SEGA left the console game, they felt the need to backtrack on a lot of their characters’ growth, and dumb them down for a new audience, and as a result, Tails became a wimp and a useless hollywood nerd trope and Knuckles became a loud idiot who constantly gets shown up by his friends.

This movie didn’t do that. Knuckles in particular is on top form, in a way he hasn’t been since the Archie comic died. Yeah, I know he’s in IDW as well, but literally the first thing Flynn did with him under IDW’s banner was have him be made aware that Eggman was going to ruin the world and then decide to let it happen so he could be the hero and lead the resistance. Then they established than he was never actually the leader of the resistance and Amy did all the hard work.

What I’m saying is that Knuckles has been short on wins, and the movie is a much-needed boost for him.

Less so with Tails. He’s still mostly occupying the same box that SEGA put him in after Sonic Heroes, where it seems like they forgot that he used to be playable in every game and he was just about equals with his comrades. Still, he’s at least using his genius to fight now, instead of just standing around and playing with his iPad like he does in the games.

There were times where he felt like kind of an afterthought. It takes him a long while to turn up, he’s the last of the main characters to actually arrive, and he spends a significant portion of the film unconscious and separated from the others.

I also think that his friendship was Sonic was a little rushed. I got it, but I’ve been a fan of the Sonic series for eighteen years and Sonic and Tails being friends is what I expect and what I’m used to. I do not know if it would’ve landed for me had this been my introduction to them.

He’s better than he is in the games, but that’s not really hard to achieve.

Robotnik made for a good villain, but I’m not sure if he felt right. See, Eggman is a pretty hammy character, and Carrey is a pretty hammy actor, but but it’s different flavours of ham. Eggman is a theatrical showoff, he grandstands and gloats and he slaps his logo on everything. Carrey’s acting is more manic. He unhinged, but still not quite like Robotnik. And frankly, I often thought he was just mugging.

Y’know how sometimes, something that’s *almost* right but not quite there feels weirder and more “off” than something that isn’t even close and wasn’t trying? Yeah, that.

There were several points where Robotnik felt less like Robotnik and more like just Jim Carrey.

Still, he did the job pretty well, and the big picture aspects of how Robotnik works were all there. It’s just the mannerisms and the dialogue that don’t quite land for me.

Also the part where he licked the car’s windscreen was just fucking weird.

Then the sticking point: Sonic himself.

This Sonic is... different. And that’s not new for Sonic adaptations. He’s been a showy, invincible Bugs Bunny type, a nerdy schoolkid’s alter-ego, a grouchy, snarky prick, a laid-back adventurer, a confident and powerful freedom fighter, a lazy, apathetic bum, and even an exiled prince. A young kid looking for a new family isn’t beyond the pale for him.

Still though, something about it doesn’t really feel all that right. The Sonic series doesn’t really tend to put a whole lot of effort into realistically depicting its characters as teenagers or kids, so it’s weird to see them actually doing that here.

Sonic as I know him as always been an extremely confident and self-assured guy. That’s not to say he never has insecurities, but they tend to be more subtle and buried.

I don’t really think the whole “Parents and kid” routine he has with the humans really works all that well.

Still, his personality felt mostly alright. A bit on the over-snarky side but acceptable on that front.

As for the humans, I gotta be honest I didn’t give two shits about them. That might be why the “Dad” thing fell flat for me, but I am just not invested in a bunch of human characters.

The wedding scene was a painful experience. As I said in the liveblog, I do not like cringe comedy, so watching Tom putz around and make a fool of himself for what felt like half an hour in the middle of the film was inarguably the worst part of the film. I spent the entire scene badly wanting to cut back to the characters I didn’t pay to watch. I’m not gonna linger on it, though, because you’ll read or hear the same thing in literally every review of this movie ever made. Trust me, I checked.

The exception to this would be Agent Stone, who I actually rather liked. As I said in the liveblog, I wouldn’t mind seeing him adapted into other Sonic media. It’d be good to give Eggman someone to bounce off who isn’t constantly mocking him like those fucking mini-robots.

The other negative I want to bring up is the music. The instrumental tracks were fine, if a little generic. But the actual songs put into it? Yeah, those didn’t really work. Sonic vocal music pretty solidly lands in the butt-rock genre, and there was a distinct lack of guitar shredding in the songs chosen. When I think “Sonic music scene”, I can assure you that I never think Uptown Funk.

To end off on a higher note, though, I must again stress that I really liked what they did with Super Sonic.

Super Sonic has thus far only shown up in a handful of Sonic’s many, many adaptations, and most of the ones that did use him were comics. Not exactly in the public eye. Sonic hasn’t gone Super in screen-based media since Sonic X finally died in 2007, so it was great to not only see him make a triumphant return, but also be excellently represented in terms of his raw power.

I better see Super Sonic vs. Super Shadow in Movie 3.

[crusherthedoctor]

Let’s try this again...

So for those of you who can’t currently see asks, I was informed in an ask about this statement by Ian Flynn in regards to why IDW Eggman acted the opposite of a respectable, well-characterized Eggman during the zombot arc:

Needless to say, this Steamed my Hams. Here’s why. (Credit to @beevean​ and @colony-drop-program​ for several additional points.)

In SA1, Eggman was constantly one step ahead of the heroes by swiping their emeralds, had both Chaos and the Egg Carrier operating at the same time, resorted to a missile when both were seemingly dealt with (which only turned out to be a dud cause of bad luck), and revealed a second Egg Carrier in the event that Chaos would betray him. And in the case of the missile - he was clearly at his wit’s end by that point, and suicide attacks on the brink of a villainous breakdown are common among many villains, including clever schemers... like Eggman.

In SA2, Eggman suspected there was a fake emerald in the mist that the heroes wanted to use to trick him, so he set up a situation perfectly in a way that would reveal which one it is.

In Battle, he was able to drive Emerl insane with energy in case the robot defeated him in battle.

In Unleashed, the game starts with Eggman setting up a trap based on the expectation that he would know exactly how Sonic (or rather, Super Sonic) would react, and it worked flawlessly. And upon learning that Dark Gaia woke up too early and his spawn were scattered all across the planet, Eggman managed to lure Dark Gaia spawn to him, and he still able to create Eggmanland and did his best to prevent Sonic from reaching the final temple.

Even in ‘06, he had that trap where he sent Sonic and Co to the future. It may have relied on the heroes being stupid, but it still counts as Eggman preparing for something.

Even in Heroes, arguably his most pathetic role in the game canon due to being locked in a room by his own creation for the whole game, he still had the initiative to hire the Chaotix into getting him out. And Metal Sonic’s flaws with his own plan... are Metal Sonic’s. Not Eggman’s. Metal Sonic didn’t take control of Eggman’s plan, he came up with his own plan to begin with. Metal’s failings in Heroes are not in any way, shape or form the fault of Ivo’s, and I don’t know why this example was even mentioned.

And keep in mind, these are just the games where Eggman was still upstaged. We’re not even going into the games that KEPT him as the top dog from start to finish, like in Sonic 3 & Knuckles where he’s constantly doing everything he can to stall you from reaching the Death Egg (which implies planning at least some of it in advance), Rush Adventure where he created the pirates as a proxy to search out the Jeweled Scepter, Colours where he kept his mind control cannon a secret, Generations where he teamed up with his past self in order to tame the Time Eater, Lost World where he brought a Cacophonic Conch with him to subjugate the Deadly Six, then bounced his way back up even after they stole his tech, and everything in Forces (storing Phantom Ruby copies, the artificial sun plot in case the Death Egg was destroyed, being able to dispose of Infinite in case he acted up, keeping the real Phantom Ruby for himself, even having a second mech inside the first mech in case the latter was destroyed).

Hell, the entire reason he set up a racing tournament in the original Sonic Riders was so that he could uncover the Babylon Garden.

And didn’t Flynn himself write that Mega Drive comic from a while back? The one where Eggman made a similar SA2-style bargain ploy for the last Ancient Gear, only to then reveal he had the other Gears already once he got it?

Eggman may be careless at times, with occasional details, but he’s not a Mephiles-tier moron who doesn’t understand the concept of a plan or strategy. He’s a mastermind, with many elaborate plots over the years to live up to that title, and when he’s not planning things out in advance, he’s just as quick to improvise or take advantage of the situation as best as he can.

He knew what would happen with Chaos upon feeding him Chaos Emeralds, because...

He knew something would happen with Dark Gaia, because...

(He also proceeded to kidnap Professor Pickle for the specific purpose of obtaining even more information on the subject.)

And while he may not have known exactly what Project Shadow was at the time, he still knew its existence in the first place (and by proxy, the ARK’s existence), because...

...And he brought a Chaos Emerald along with him. And knew the password, “Maria”.

There is no excuse for the doctor to just shrug and do absolutely nothing upon being informed about a potential error in his plan. The fact that Ian Flynn - a man who has worked with this character for over a decade, and thus by all means should know this character by the back of his hand - completely disregards this official, canonical element of the main villain of a 30 year old franchise, only makes me less willing to trust any of the characters’ handling under his pen. And that’s putting aside how questionably handled everyone else has been in IDW.

And you might say “But it’s IDW, it’s a different interpretation”. But here’s the thing: it’s following off of Forces, a game where Eggman was at his brilliant best. There’s no way you can go from his backup-plan-after-backup-plan strategy from that game, to his DarkSydePhil-tier “nothing I could do dood” showing in this comic, and chalk it up to anything other than, at best, an extreme display of inconsistency. And as far as we know, this isn’t even the cause of those mandates that everyone loves to point to... this was all Flynn.

So yes. If I wasn’t certain that Flynn’s widespread fandom status as the Best Sonic Writer of all time, every time, was just a teensy, tiny bit exaggerated... I am now. I may be an Eggman fan, so naturally that does fuel my annoyance with his statement on the doc, but I’d be just as annoyed if it were any other character who was blatantly misinterpreted to this degree, even if it were a character I was apathetic to or even flat out disliked.

Best Writers™ do not selectively choose how characters from long lasting IPs act. You can experiment with a character. You can play around with a character’s traits. But you can’t turn a character completely inside out and expect it to work just like that.

It doesn’t work.

/RantOver

[popculturebuffet]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1990 Review: Still Possesses Turtle Power After All These Years

Cowabunga all you happy people! I freaking love the Teenage Ninja Turtles. I grew up with it from Turtles in Time, which was my first video game, to the 2003 cartoon, which I covered the first three episodes of last month, and on to present day as I re-read the idw comics after finally reading the original eastman and laird run of mirage, and impatiently waiting for Shredder’s Revenge to come out after a LONG drout of no good TMNT games. I”m a fan of these heroes four, their dynamic as a family, the endless possiblities that come from it’s long history and ablitlity to go anywhere in any genre, and the wonderful goofy shit that happens when you have a franchise about mutant turtles learning ninjitsu from a rat and fighting a dude covered in knife covered samurai armor. 

So with me finally covering the guys after almost a year last month and with a new movie set to debut at some point this year, I had the bright idea to revisit the FIRST TMNT movie after way too many years of not watching it. This movie is anear and dear to my heart: When I first started getting into the boys big as a kid with the 2003 cartoon, I badly wanted more turtles. But back then it wasn’t nearly as easy to glom onto some more of the sewer shock pizza kings: Streaming sites with all the cartoons on them weren’t all that accesable, dvd’s were expensive for the 87 cartoon, Mirage wasn’t reprinting the comics in any meaningful way and my local comic shop didn’t have any at all and I could only play the SNES when my brother had it set up on occasion like at our Grandma’s farm. 

As you probably guessed though there was one exception: the original 1990 movie, which I got at Walmart for 5 bucks and haven’t let go of since. It was one of my first dvds and is still one of my most precious. Said film hit the spot just right as like my beloved 2003 series, it was a mildly goofy but still fucking cool adaptation that stuck closer to the mirage comics, even more than the 2003 series would, while taking a few queues from the 87 series. This film is as precious to me as the 2003 series and a with a brand new movie coming up, I figured it was the exact right time to dig into this classic: what makes it still good to this day, what’s fun to point and laugh at, and how the heck Jim Henson got involved in this. So join me under the cut as I take a look at my boys first theatrical outing and why I still love watching a turtle. 

No One Wanted To Make This: Before we get into the film itself some background. As usual I struggled a bit, but thankfully found some help in the form of this Hollywood Reporter article.  It’s a fascinating read worth your time, providing an oral history of the film from the people who worked on it. 

The film was the baby of Gary Propper, a surfer dude and road manager for the prop comic Gallagher, aka that guy who used to smash watermelons but now has instead opted to smash what little’s left of his career by being a homophobic douchenozzle. He found an ally in Showtime producer Kim Dawson who’d produced Gallagher’s special. I don’t think there will be more of an 80′s sentence than “Gallagher’s surfer dude agent wanted to make a teenage mutant ninja turtles movie”. Propper was a huge fan of the comics, and with Dawson’s help convinced Laird and Eastman to let them option it to studios. 

It may come as a shock to you but the road agent for a homophobic watermelon man and a producer at a niche cable channel wanting to make a movie based on an underground comic book about masked turtles at a time when the two most recent comic book movies were Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and Howard the Duck, did not go well. Every door in Hollywood got slammed in their face, even Fox> Even the eventual backer of the film, Golden Harvest, a hong kong action film studio, took months to convince to actually back the film. 

Things did not get easier from there: The films writer Bobby Herbeck had trouble getting a story agreed on because Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s working relationship had deteroiated horribly from the stress so naturally the two could not agree on a damn thing and argued with each other. Peter Laird  made a tense siutation even worse by constnatly sniping at Herbeck and feeling he was a “Hollywood outsider infringing on his vision and characters”

Granted the script was apparently not great... but Pete still comes off as a pretnetious ass who views his weird indie comic as THE HIGHEST OF HIGH CALLINGS HOW DARE YOU SOIL IT. And continued to be kind of a prick like this throughout the rest of his time with the property. 

Thankfully the film found i’ts voice, vision and director in Steve Barron. Barron was a music video guy who knew the producers and while reluctant, eventually dove into the project rightfully thinking the film would need to be a mix of the mirage comics and 87 cartoon, keeping aprils’ reporter job, the turtles lvoe of pizza and their iconic color coding from the cartoon but adapting several stories from the comics as the backbone of the film. The guys liked barron MUCH better and things ran smoother. 

Barron also brought in one of the film’s biggest selling points and it’s most valuable asset: it’s triumphantly awesome Jim Henson costumes. Barron had worked with good old Jim on the music videos for Labyrinth, and while it took some convincing since the comics were violent as hell and that wasn’t Jim’s style, Barron eventually got him on board. This naturally doubled the budget, but given Henson’s costumes STILL hold up today and look better than the cgi used in the platinum dunes films... it was a good call. And this was brand new tech for jim, having to invent tons of new ideas and mechanisms just to make the things work, and said things still were absolute hell on the actors. Jim later ended up not liking the film for being too violent... which I find hilarious given how many muppets got eaten or blowed up real good on his show but regardless, I thank this legendary and wonderful man as without him this film WOULD NOT have worked. The costumes here look great, feel realistic, and you can’t tell the actors were dubbed much less horribly suffering in those suits. Much like Disney Land. 

The film would get picked up for distribution by New Line, and despite i’ts weird as hell origins and the long shot it had.. the film was a MASSIVE hit at the box office, owing to a combination of Batman 89 the previous year having proved comic book movies can work for audiences, the cartoon’s runaway sucess, and a massive marketing campaign. The film made it’s mark. So now we know how we got here let’s get into the film itself. 

What’s the Story Morning Glory?:

So the story for this one is largely cobbled together from some of the more notable arcs Eastman and Laird did before handing off the book to others full time as the stress of the company and the mounting tension with each other made it near impossible to work together on the book itself. 

To Save time i’m just going through what hte movie takes from the comics plot wise now to save me the trouble later:The movie takes elements from the first issue (The Turtles, Splinter and Shredder’s backstories, Shredder being fully human and the main antagonist, Shredder’s design and the final rooftop showdown that results in Shredder’s death), second and third, (April’s apartment over her dad’s old store and the turtles moving in when their home is ransacked and splinter has gone missing), the rapheal micro series (A tounge in cheek way of cashing in on the Mini-Series craze of the 80s, a one shot by modern standards and something that’s tragically been underused as an idea as only TMNT and MLP have used the idea at IDW, Raph meeting casey and their fight with one another), the return of shredder arc (One of the turtles being ambushed and mobbed by the foot and then thrown though a sky light (Leo in the comic and Raph here), the turtles being horribly outnumbered by them, Casey coming ot the rescue and metting the non-raph turtles for the first time, and them being forced to escape when the place goes up in flames), their exile to northampton (April writing in a journal, casey working on a car with one of the guys and one of hte guys looking over hteir injured brother), and finally, their triumphant return which was very loosely adapted as there are no deformed shredder clones and shredder not being dead yet in this version was not brought back by a colony of super science worms. 

So as for how this all comes together: Our story takes place in New York: A crimewave is high with muggings mysterious. There are a ton of phantom thefts going around and at most people have been seeing teens responsibile. And the police.. are at about this level of useful:

The only person doing something is April O’Neil, played by Judith Hoag. Hoag is easily the standout of the film, giving us a strong, confident woman with a wonderful sense of humor. She honestly might be my faviorite April O Neil, and given we’ve had some great ones with 2003, 2012 and Rise, that’s not something I say lightly. I honestly wish I’d recognized her in more stuff as she was both on Nashville and the mom in the Halloween Town films, and most recently was on the ScFy show the magicians. She’s a talented lady and i’m glad she’s still goin. 

April is a reporter for Channel 3 like the cartoon, though for some weird reason her boss from the cartoon is replaced by Charles Pennigton, played by Jay Patterson, whose currently dealing with his troubled son Danny, played by Micheal Turney. Pennington is horribly useless at both jobs: At work he tries to ease April off calling out Chief Sterns, who refuses to listen to April’s evidence gathered from japanese immigrants that the crimes resemble similar ones in japan in favor of trying to get charles to shut her up. Danny meanwhile is a member of the foot becase his dad thinks shouting out him and talking about him like he’s not there and generally being a dipstick will actually do anything to help him. 

I love the concept for the foot here. In addition to being a Ninja Violence Gang as always, they now recruit new members by finding kids without families or with troubled family lives and giving them a sense of family with the foot, and sweeting the bargin with a giant cave filled with arcade machines, a skate ramp and general late 80′s early 90′s kids goodies. Is it rediculous? Yes. Is it also clever as it gives Shredder an easy army of plausably deniable theives that he can pick the best out of to put in his elite that will be tirelessly loyal to him and him alone? Also yes. 

So April being public about this stuff gets her attacked, which naturally leads to our heroes coming in, first in the shadows and later directly when April wont’ give up on the case and Shredder sends some ninjas to go shut her up.. which he does weirdly as the guy jsut slaps her and tells her to cut it out like he’s on a domestically abusive episode of Full House. Raph saves her, and we get the turtles origin.. though weirdly they cut it in half. We get the ooze portion but Splinter’s past with Saki, Saki’s murder of his master and his master’s partern Tang Shen is left for later in the film and the fact Shredder’s saki is treated as a big twist despite the fact the biggest audience for the film would be kids... and kids would’ve been familiar with the cartoon where the giant brain monster routinely screeches out saki at the shredder. Maybe Barron just thought he was an alcoholic I don’t know. It just would’ve made more sense to have it all at once and let the audeince put it together. 

April becomes good friends with the turtles over a night of frozen pizza and camradrie, but the Splinters return home to find it ransacked, Splinter kidnapped by the foot, and are forced to Stay with april. Charles meanwhile tries to get April to backoff because he made a deal with the police to clear Danny’s record, without TELLING her any of this mind you, but I will save my rage on that little plot point for in a bit as Danny who he drug along sees the turtles and tells the Shredder. 

So we get the return of the shredder arc as Raph goes through a window, our heroes fight valiantly, and Raph’s friend Casey who he met earlier shows up, the two having bonded as all true friends do.. by beating the shit out of each other ending with raph shouting DAMNNNNNNN really big and dramatically into the sky for some reason. The Turtles and friends escape with an injured raph from April’s burning second hand store. She had a second hand store it was poorly established and only there because she had it in the comics. 

Our heroes retreat to a farm April’s grandma owned in Northampton, Massachutes, where Mirage was located at the time the original comics where they were exiled to the place were written and a location that has been a staple of the turtles ever since. The turtles slowly recover, lick their wounds, talk about who hooked up with who on gilligans island etc, before Leo connects with Splinter via meditation, who tells them to come back. Splinter also starts to connect with Danny and convinces him to swtich sides.. or at the very least squat in the boys old home. 

The boys return home, find danny, and prepare, Danny goes back and ends up giving away the Turtles are home.. but the turtles are ready and in an awesome sequence kick the fuck out of the foot squad sent for them with some well prepared steam vents. Casey goes to get splinter since Danny told them and with Danny’s help, finds him, since Danny found out they were gonna kill him. Casey beats up Tatsu, shredder’s right hand man, and they get him out. 

We get our final fight which is awesome up until the climax.. which is splinter casually tripping shredder with nunchucks and thier bloody history being kind of rushed and unsatsifying. Casey crushes shredder with a garbage truck, April gets her job back, more on that in a moment, she and casey hook up, and we end with the fucking awesome song T-U-R-T-L-E Power by partners in cryme. Seriously check it out it’s fucking triumphant. 

The song is just good.. cheesy? Sure but that’s half the fun. It’s the gold standard for movie theme songs for them and stacks up handily with the various animated series themes.. all of which slap. Okay... ALMOST all of which slap. Fast Forwards is aggressively medicore, which is doubly suprising to me since 4kids was REALLY damn good with theme songs. It was one of the three things they were best at along with finding VERY talented voice actors and setting japan based works in america because merica dammit.  

The plot is very solid: It skilfully packed half of eastman and laird’s run on TMNT into 90 mintues while adding things like April’s job at channel 9, the way the foot recurited kids etc. The plot flows well for hte most part and apart from one annoying subplot we’ll get to never has a moment that feel unecessary or dosen’t pay off later. And the stellar plot and fun pacing of it helps boilster the characters that do work... and help paper over the ones that are so thin the’yd fall down a grate...

Our Heroes, Villains and Annoying Middle Aged Guys:

Yeahhhh character is hit and miss here. Some are rather strong, others are the bare basics for the character their adapting and most are just to serve the plot but some work some don’t,  So let’s talk about it starting with our boys:

Raph is the most fleshed out of the turtles, being the main focus of the first 2/3 of the film, and having his anger be part of what SHOULD be a character arc, learning to temper it. And while granted MOST TMNT properties do this, to the point that Rise Raph is so loveable in part because his boisterous bruiser big bro attitude is a refreshing break from the usual grumpus we get. But at the time this hadn’t been done in every version but the 87 cartoon, so exploring it was valid.. but despite saying this should be a thing htey just forget about it and the most plot relevance he gets is going thorugh a window. He dosen’t really get a resolution.. his arc just kind of stops dead for the final half and it’s one of the film’s weaker points, one I only just now noticed on this rewatch. He’s still the most entertaining. 

Leo is the weakest of the turtles. He really lacks a personality here mostly just being leader and while his spirtual side is touched on, it’s  mostly a plot device. He’s just kinda the leader because he was in the comics to the point Partners in Cryme called Raph the leader. His role in getting taken out by the foot was taken by Raph, so he just has.. nothing to do for most of the film other than gripe at raph ocasionally and say orders. He’s probably the worst Leo i’ve seen outside of Next Mutation. I prefice that because after watching Phelous’ review it’s VERY clear those four are the worst versions of the characters, and no personality is still better than either having your team do nothing or yelling at them as your personality. I chalk this up to the Mirage Leo, and the mirage turtles to a poit being kind of bland. Not TERRIBLE characters, especially for the time, but not nearly as fleshed out or individualized as they woudl be in other adpatations, and with most traits LEo DID have, like his badassery flat out gone, he’s just.. nothing here. 

Mikey and Donnie are a double act here with both sharing a brain. Interestingly instead of his normal genius character, Donnie is Mikey’s best friend and the two simply trade jokes and schtick together. The two are interchangable.. but easily the best part of the film and a lot of the most memorable gags and lines, from Ninja Kick the Damn Rabbit! to “Do you like Penicllin on your pizza”, are from them. Thier there almost entirely as comic relief but it works, with both clealry being more modled ont he 87 cartoon turtles, a move that helps lighten the mood in darker moments. Their just genuinely charming and it’s intresting to see such a diffrent version of Donnie, and other incarnations, specifically the 2003 and Rise versions, would retain the sarcastic edge. 

Splinter is splinter. That’s about it, he’s peformed well and the puppet is amazing but he gets kidnapped a half an hour in and outside of influcencing Denny, more on that in a moment, and finishing Shredder he dosen’t do much but spout exposition. He’s not bad or anything, but he’s essentially a rodent shaped plot device. He was also puppeted by Kevin CLash, aka the guy who does Elmo. So there you go. 

April on the other hand.. is truly excellent. This might be my faviorite April. Judith’s april nicely blends the cartoon and mirage versions: She has the cartoons energy and job, but the comics sheer will and casual nature. Judith just oozes personality and her April is just a joy to watch, from her breezy chemistry filled interactions with the guys to her confrntation with Chief Sterns, knowing she’ll get thrown out by the asshole. She’s confident, and even when afraid dosen’t back down to her attackers and even helps out during the sewer ambush. I mean it’s a pot on the head but still it’s neat. She’s easily the best part of the flim and the most fleshed out of the cast. The worst I can say is they kinda shove her store from the comics, Second Time Around, in there for no other reason than it was in the comics: It dosen’t come up until it’s needed for the foot’s assault on her place. But overall.. she’s just fantastic to watch. 

Speaking of fantastic to watch, Elias Koteas is fantastic as Casey. Seriously he’s only second to the 2003 version in my eyes, getting the concept of a testorone filled average guy who decided to just go out and hit people with sports equipment after watching too much A-Team.. I mean that part of it’s not in this version but it’s implied, just right. Like judith, Elias is just really funny to watch and his big scenes, showing up just in time during the foot assault on april’s place and his fight with Tatsu are some of the best parts of the film, the former taken directly from the comics. This version isn’t without problems: His friendship with Raph, his most endearing aspect and one that has been carried throughout eveyr version Casey’s important, with the only exception so far being rise and we have a movie to fix that, is absent here. HE does save the guy, but they don’t really bond or anything. In fact he disappears for about half an hour after his big fight with Raph. But... again he’s just so damn entertaining, down to his JOSEEEEEEEEEEE Conseco bats (There was a two for one sale!).

Shredder is just a LITTLE better than splinter, if only because his actor projects a true aura of menace and I feel this version had some influence on the pants crappingly terrifying 2003 version. And the idea of the foot recurting teenagers like I said is a good one: He gives them home and a cause, they give him plausably deniable backup. And his fight with the boys in the climax is really awesome... the conclusion sucks but otherwise h’es okay. Not the deepest villian, but he has enough presence to be enjoyable.

His right hand man Tatsu, whose been adapted ocasionally since this and reimaigned as Natsu in the IDW comics, a female version, is also fine. He’s your standard grimacing goon but has enough presence to work. 

So that brings us to the penningtons. Charles, april’s boss at the station and his son Danny who’s joined the foot as he feels his dad dosen’t love him. Charles..is about as interesting and likeable as a dog turd and is the worst aspect of the film. No debate there, he just sucks. He sucks so hard he’s classified as a black hole.  The film wants you to see him as a put upon wokring dad whose frustrated with his son’s increased moodiness, skipping school and crminal undertakings and just wants to help him and loves him deep down. The problem is his actor’s delivery instead of concerned.. is just pissed. He just seems pissy and upset about the whole thing and comes off like he’s only mad about Danny doing this because he’s embarassing him and not because you know, it’s bad. When confronting Danny about stealing, he dosen’t consider MAYBE he’s part of a gang or needs help, but just wonders “Why are you stealing when I give you stuff”. Because, Dipshit, sometimes kids do crimes not because they need the stuff but because they WANT to, and because they want to act the fuck out. 

The most he does for the kid is agree to try and get April to back off the police when Cheif Sterns offers to let Danny go and not put him on record in exchange for it. The problem.. is this makes him even MORE unsympathetic. While I do get wanting to help your child, I do and it’s a sucky position... he again should be sympathetic.. but he handles the thing so badly it sucks. He just tells april to ease off, with no reason given, then fires her when she SHOCKINGLY dosen’t give up taking the guy whose refusing to take her hard work seriously or actually solve the crime wave problem to task for his shitty behavior as ANY person facing a shitty, corrput cop would. She just wants to hold him acountable and get him to actually do something. He clearly knows her on a personal level too as he talks about his issues with his son freely with her, something you don’t do with an employee unless their also a friend on some level. 

He could have TOLD april what was going on. She’d be furious at Stern’s naked corrpution and prioritizing shutting her up over actually solving crimes.. and thus put at least some of that energy into shutting him down or finding a way around it, going to the papers or something like that. Even in 1990 pre-internet, there were ways to get around Sterns blackmail and expose him so someone who’d actually do the job could get the job. Instead he just comes off as a selfish coward who rather than try and fight the guy blatantly abusing his power and using Charles own son as  barganing chip, goes along with it because it’s the easier option to simply bow to him instead of TRY and stop this. And it’s not like he’s even going after a beloved public figure or someone who could hide behind his rep: Sterns was blatantly failing a crime wave, April had called him out on his failrues and coverups multiple times. The public was against sterns.. finding out he tried to blackmail the media into shutting up about him would PROBABLY end him... I only say probably not because the public wouldn’t skewer him, but because police tend to escape consequences for blatantly murdering someone on a daily basis and Andrew Cumo is STILl mayor over in new york, the same city this movie takes place, 31 years later, depsite EVERYONE asking him to resign over a long history of sexual harassment and a more recent but still horrible history of hiding death numbers. I don’t doubt people being stupid enough to ignore this or the bilaws with cops being stacked enough for him to get away with it, but just because someone gets away with a crime dosen’t mean you shoudln’t try and go after them in the first place. Fuck. Charles. Pennington. 

Danny on the other hand is FAR more interesting and I think gets way too much flack when it comes to this subplot. Unlike his dad, whose dead weight, Danny is intresting: He provides a POV character for the foot’s MO in the film of taking in wayward teens, and his character arc is pretty engaging, slowly realizing the foot dosen’t care and that hte turtles are the good guys. HIs actor does a great job and while not the biggest presence, he’s not a bad addition to clan hamaoto and I wish other adaptations would find a way to use him. The pull between doing the right thing and his found family is a good struggle. My only real issue with his plot is the moviies flawed aseop about family. It tries to contrast shredder and his using the kids blatnatly with Splinter and Charles really loving their sons. And it works with Splinter and the kids because despite being a tad strict, Splinter clearly loves his sons and works with them to help them. The problem is ENTIRELY with Charles and Danny. As I said Charles love comes off as transasctional: He either thinks he can buy it or just expects it because he shot a bunch of goop into Danny’s mom after two minutes of disapointment. It dosen’t work with them because neither option is good for Danny. His father is neglectful, chooses throwing his jounralistic integrity out the window over talking to his son or his best friend about another way, and abrasive. Danny is no saint, he does do crimes, but it’s clearly a result of a shitty upbringing and the shredder and co actually offeirng him the love he desperatly craves. Danny goes to the foot because his dad is bad at his job but the film never adresses that and just expects Danny to go back to his dad because the plot says so. Danny would HONESTLY be better off with Splinter. No really. Sure he’d have to live in the sewers.. but he did so for a few weeks in the course of the movie. He’s fine down there. Splitner actually cares about him and took an intrest to him and knows how to raise a child. Let him become the fifth turtle. An aseop about family is not a bad thing: Loaded subject that it can be given how many outright abusive families exist, i’m one of the lucky ones who dosen’t have that issue, family is an important thing and can be a source of comfort and support. But this film tells you you should love and respect someone who does not love, respect or value you because he spent a minute in your mom’s vagina and that’s not how family should work and is outright dangerous to kids in an abusive situation. Love the film otherwise but fuck this aseop skyhigh. 

Final thoughts:

Overall though.. the film is bodacious. It’s funny, well paced, has an awesome cast, and outside of a certain bald asswipe... it’s a really good superhero film. Is it the best i’ve seen? Nope. Not even close and character wise most of them are as thin as a wet paper bag covered in ranch dressing. But it’s still a fun as hell with awesome corepgraphy, a killer soundtrack, seriously the soundtrack is damn excellent and only didn’t get it’s own section because I didn’t have enough to say and some of the best effects work i’ve seen in a film in the turtle suits. If you haven’t seen it I urge you to check it out: it’s a breezy 90 minutes, it’s on hbo max and it’s a shell of a time. Will I do the next film? 

We’ll see how this one does like wise and such, but I will be doing the rise film whenever it comes out this year. So look for that and keep possesing turtle power my dudes. If you liked this review subscirbe for more, join my patreon to keep this blog a chugging, comission a review if you have more turtle stuff you want me to cover, and comment on this. What do you think of the movie, what are your thoughts on the review, what can I do better, what other turtle stuff would you like me to cover/ Let me know and i’ll see you at hte next rainbow. 

[definitely-not-karen]

My unnecessary and irrelevant reviews about the transformers media I have consumed.

Please let me have this. I was doom scrolling and transformers is my comfort fandom.

G1: I have not watched all of it, I do plan on doing so but I did watch it when I was younger and does invoke nostolgia. I watched it on Teletoon Retro (does that even exist anymore?) ((just googled it, rip teletoon retro)). For some reason I really like the episode The Ultimate Weapon. I am a huge fan of First Aid and it was because of this episode and I have no idea why. Rodimus is the main character of that episode with First Aid just having a very prominent role in the side story of that episode. I really liked the Aerialbots and their storyline with the time traveling and the not knowing if they’re on the right side was really cool. Honestly the animation errors and weird inconsistent story are part of the charm I guess.

RID 2001: another show I’ve only seen tidbits of. I watched this one via random episodes illegally uploaded to YouTube in the early to mid 2010s and now all those videos are taken down. As a lover of camp, this is camp. I love it. Transformers as a concept is pretty camp (which is why I adore it) and I definitely will watch all of this one day. Though Sideburn is cool and all, I do wish he didn’t chase a red sports car every episode. Otherwise he’s one of my favourites cause himbo rights I guess.

Transformers IDW 2005: So... I read the entirety of the idw comics purely because I found out Thundercracker was a screenplay writer and I wanted to read the entire story so I got the complete context of his development from scary fighter jet to an Oscar winner. I was not disappointed, I was met with queer and trans representation of all sorts, a diverse storyline with action filled parts, comedy elements, slice of life, political drama, adventure, horror, and the best road trip through space. Honestly I was not expecting transformers of all things to have queerness represented so casually and quite well in my opinion (though technically they are guilty of bury your gays, I don’t count it cause there was a clear reason for that death) Thundercracker was marked as one of my favourites cause of this series. I did experience a wonderful story because I wanted to see how he got his happy ending. My biggest criticism of idw transformers is that I love their interpretations of characters and sadly I know I’ll probably never get to seen them like that again. But if I want to experience those characters like that, I’ll just re read it I guess.

Transformers Animated: I have watched the entirety of this great show twice and it still love it. Funny characters, a human character that has a purpose, and a fun change to the formula, Transformers Animated has one of my favourite Optimus and made a Bumblebee so lovably loud they had to take away his voice so he wouldn’t become too powerful. Loved all of the characters except the human villains, Headmaster did not age well and I wasn’t in love with Ratchet’s design but his personality more than made up for it. If you want more animated, I love Transformers ReAnimated the void is filled by that series and channel. While I wish it got another season, it’s ending was satisfying enough I guess.

Transformers Prime: Smokescreen is great and was underutilizes -100/10. Just kidding, kind of I really enjoyed Prime. I’ve only watched through it completely once cause when I was a child I did not like the designs since apparently as a child I was a G1 loyalist I guess. Though now Prime has one of my favourite styles that still holds up today. Dramatic story with actual character development, I can over look that the plots a tad slow. I wish Breakdown was utilized more and it also could have benefited from an extra season but the movie wrapped it up much better than animated’s ending. Knockout is an amazing character and I was spoiled while I was watching it that he turns Autobot though I didn’t realize that wasn’t until the literal end of the series. Would’ve like a completely fleshed out Breakdown and Knockout or at least Knockout redemption arc but there’s always fanfiction I guess.

Robots in Disguise 2015: I didn’t hate it? It definitely helped that I watched this before Prime for some reason. I liked the designs, Sideswipe... himbo rights. Biggest flaw is the lack of character growth. I just want nice things for Sideswipe, Strongarm and Fixit. Grimlock was fun, I like Bumblebee trying to be a good leader and Optimus should have stayed dead. The crossover and referenced to Rescue Bots was fun and Blurr and Sideswipe was the rivalry I didn’t know I needed. But the one I really needed was Smokescreen in there too. The ending arc was interesting though not executed the best and Steeljaw did a lot of the heavy lifting for the villain side to a point where they over utilized him and his character suffered as a result. Windblade was not as bad as people online said she was, splitting the group up into two was stupid cause I’m bitter and still don’t want Optimus there. Also long list of underutilization: Denny and Russel Clay, Jazz, all the characters from prime except Optimus and Bee, Jetfire and Jetstorm, More Rescue bots, and many more! Like that girl that’s Russel’s friend that I literally don’t remember because I’m pretty sure the writers forgot about her! Anyways, in retrospect the show probably wasn’t great but I liked it I guess.

Rescue Bots: This show is way better than it needed to be. I actually love the no Decelticons and war. I’m a sucker for slice of life and especially slice of life with a twist. Human villains that were actually interesting, actual character development, continuity (somewhat), great human characters all while being target for children. I’m so happy I watched this show while I was kind of the target age and rewatching it for the third time was great cause some of the science jargon actually made sense to me. Satisfying ending too and honestly it can just appeal to everyone. Love all four of the main rescue bots and constantly wish they made evergreen designs and toys for them so they could at least make cameos in other transformers media. Sometimes it’s nice to have transformers being wholesome I guess.

Rescue Bots Academy: ... I was not the age democratic for this show and I somehow still liked it? Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been gravitating to more wholesome content due to current events but it was actually good? Love all the students, I do miss the old crew and characters like Doc Green and Frankie are under utilized and the Burns family is almost nowhere to be found :(. Once again there’s some actual character development and Hot Shot’s mentor relationship with Heatwave is super sweet. Also actually having positive post war Decepticon and Autobot relationships in this children’s show? Woah. Biggest issue is like RID 2015; the lack of continuity and characters completely disappearing. Perceptor was fun and I was not expecting him to appear. And I love me some microscope dude. It was a good send off for the aligned continuity I guess.

Cyberverse: ending too soon. I was about to be upset that bumblebee didn’t have his voice but he had his voice in his head which was great. Episodes like the velocitron one was really good and it definitely got better with each season and peaked in the Quintesson arc and then rolled to the cancellation date. Thundercracker shouldn’t have been killed off but I’m very biased. Seeing the rebuilding of Cybertron was cool. Windblade and Bumblebee had a fun relationship. I really liked this iteration of Grimlock. Perceptor was super interesting but then they did nothing with him after the Quintesson arc which was a shame and I would have liked to see better relationships between the Autobots and Decepticons after the team up. Also wholesome Whirl was fun. Honestly this needed one more season so bad. I just think it could have been great if it got one. But it’s still good I guess.

War for Cybertron: ...let’s see how I feel after Kingdom comes out but right now, meh. For me my favourite transformers characters usually end up being side characters due to me wishing they had more screen time so in this case, Red Alert is great please show me more of Red Alert. I get what all the people are saying about the voice acting and whatever but I can look past it (though please give us Peter Cullen or let the current VC make his own Optimus voice). But one thing is that all the YouTube reviewers be saying that I completely agree with is that it’s dark. Like lighting wise. I occasionally had trouble making out what was happening because it was dark. Honestly my biggest issue isn’t a fault of the show. I like development of multiple characters to be shown so I can fall in love with a multitude of characters but due to short seasons, it makes sense to focus in completely on one character at a time. Siege in my opinion at least let me see more of the background characters rather than Earthrise but I’d probably like Earthwise more if I was a bigger fan of Optimus. I’m going to watch Kingdom but I’m not expecting to be wowed I guess.

In conclusion, I should watch Beast Wars, I’m going to re read the ending of Lost Light again and revel in the melancholic ending I adore and I really like Thundercracker and First Aid. One great thing about transformers and other franchises that have been around for awhile, if you don’t like the current thing, there’s plenty of last media and you probably won’t need to wait too long for the next piece of media you’ll hopefully like.

Please be good idw 2019, I’ve read a bit of you and I have a scrap of hope. Oh please please please be good. Give some characters the Thundercracker treatment.

[starvonnie]

Do You Remember?

Day 1 of Megarod week! Prompt: Faction Rating: Explicit Fandoms: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types Relationship: Megatron/Rodimus | Rodimus Prime Characters: Megatron (Transformers),Hot Rod (Transformers),Rodimus | Rodimus Prime,Impactor (Transformers) Additional Tags: Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Drinking, Shower Sex, Size Difference, Stomach Bulge, One Night Stands, kind of Also on AO3

“You’ve got an admirer,” Impactor said with a smile, gesturing with his helm over Megatron’s shoulder.

He turned, curiously, to meet bright blue optics for just a moment before the fiery little mech whipped his helm around.  He tried to look fascinated with a stain on the wall.  He wasn’t a very good actor.  Good thing he was cute.

Impactor chuckled.  “Go buy him a drink.  He’s totally your type.”

“I don’t have a type.”  

“Then all the more reason to go buy him a drink.”

“You’re not gonna drop this are you?”

“Nope.”

Megatron sighed.

“C’mon, mech, when was the last time you got some action?”

Megatron rolled his optics.  “I don’t care about that.”

“So you’re telling me if that hot piece of aft came over here and said ‘take me home and frag me’ you’d say ‘no?’”

Megatron sighed again.  “He’s not going to do that, though.”

“Well, no, probably not.  You’ve gotta pretend to be interested in their personality for a while and subtly ask them to frag you.  Either way, if you don’t go buy him a drink I will.”

Megatron looked back his way again, and again the mech quickly turned his helm the other way.  If only so Impactor wouldn’t get to him…  “Alright. Wish me luck.”

His spark was in his throat as he made his way across the bar.  His usually steady hands shook.  He felt like at any second, he might keel over from nervousness alone. He was worried that his voicebox wouldn’t work when he tried it, but when Matrix-blue optics found him once more, holding his gaze this time, he felt his fears melting away.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Megatron asked.

The flame-coloured mech smirked.  “Only if you let me buy you one, too.”

Megatron found himself smiling.  “I suppose I could allow that.”

He patted the stool next to him, and when Megatron sat, he offered him his hand to shake.  “Hot Rod.”

“Megatron.”  He shook his hand—and his dwarfed Hot Rod’s.  He was so tiny.

“It suits you.”

Megatron glanced down at the flame decal on Hot Rod’s chest.  “As does yours.”

Hot Rod waved the bartender over, and they each put their orders in on the others’ tab.  The bartender looked a little confused at that, but smiled at them and got to making their drinks.

“You like sweet things then?” Megatron asked, gesturing to the fizzy, hot pink drink presented to Hot Rod in a flourish.

“Listen, I’m not here to taste the engex.”  He made a face.  “This,” he lifted the drink, “is just an excuse to make bad decisions.”

“Am I the first one of those bad decisions?” Megatron asked with a mischievous glint in his optic.  He took a sip while Hot Rod laughed.  He had a laugh that made Megatron want to make a fool of himself if it meant he could hear it again.

Hot Rod shrugged.  “I’m not sure yet.  I suppose whether or not it’s good or bad is up to you.  Seems like a pretty good idea so far.”  He smiled, cocksure, but beneath that there was an endearing shyness. “So… you come here often?”

Megatron chuckled.  “Maybe not ‘often,’ but whenever Impactor and I have some time off together this is usually where we go.”

“I’m guessing Impactor is the one currently making out with a minibot?”  He gestured amusedly back to their booth, and sure enough, Impactor had a lapful of a little purple bot.  They seemed oblivious to the rest of the world.

Megatron sighed.  “Yeah, that would be him.  I think he told me to come over here just to get rid of me.  He said there was a little speedster over here staring at me.”

Hot Rod scoffed.  “Hey, I’m not small you’re huge!”

“But you were staring at me.”

Hot Rod’s face turned nearly the same colour as his drink.  “Sorry, you just… have a really pretty smile.”

It was Megatron’s turn to blush.  

“Sorry, I… don’t really do this much,” Hot Rod admitted.  “Well… more like ever.  It’s not really my scene.”

“Nor do I.  Like I said, Impactor was the one to get me to come over.”

Hot Rod’s spoiler dipped a little.

“Not that I wouldn’t have, I just don’t really flirt much, but you are cute so I, I probably would have come over.  If I were. Like that.”

Hot Rod giggled.  “Don’t blow a gasket.  I get it.” He smirked.  “You think I’m cute, though, hm?”  He scooted a little closer on his barstool, leaning in, “Because I think you’re—”  Hot Rod flailed as he slipped off his stool, spilling his drink and falling forward onto Megatron.  His whole face and the tips of his spoiler turned a bright red.  “Sorry!’

“Careful.”  Megatron helped right him.  “I think that’s the fastest anyone’s ever fallen for me.”

“I think I’m going to go crawl into a hole and die now.”

Megatron laughed.  “That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?”

“I’m a bit dramatic.”  He managed a shy smile, but it fell when he glanced around him, seeing other bots looking at him.  

“Everyone’s too drunk to care,” Megatron said quietly, trying to reassure him. “Half of them probably can’t remember the last five seconds.”

Hot Rod laughed, still ducking his helm in embarrassment.  “Maybe we… get a booth?  Something not so open?”

“If privacy is what you want… we could take this back to my place.”

“Oh! I, uh, I…”

“Or not.  No pressure.”

“No, I, I want to.  Yeah, let’s… let’s do it!”

Hot Rod paid his tab and apologized for the spill, and in his excitement Megatron nearly forgot to pay his own tab.  Once they were both settled up, they made their way outside.  The cool air quickly chilled their frames and Hot Rod started to shiver.

“Cold?”

Hot Rod nodded, denta chattering.

“May I?”  Megatron held his arm out, hovering, until Hot Rod snuggled up to him and he wrapped his arm around his shoulders.  “It’s not a long walk.”

Hot Rod put his arm around Megatron’s waist.  “Good.  I think I’m gonna need a real workout to warm up.”

Despite the chill in the air, Megatron’s cooling fans came roaring on.  Hot Rod giggled and gave him a half-amused, half-sultry look.

A few blocks of mild embarrassment and comfortable silence later, and they were at his building and riding up the elevator.

“It’s nothing fancy,” Megatron said.

Hot Rod shrugged.  “You got a berth?”

Megatron nodded.

“Then I think it’ll do just fine.”

In every movie Megatron had ever seen, when they brought someone home, it was a fast, steamy frag.  But once inside, he just held Hot Rod’s hand while the little speedster gave him a soft look.  

“We don’t have to interface if you don’t want to,” Megatron said.  “I just wanted to be alone with you.”

Hot Rod blushed.  “I mean… I want to, if you’re down.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“Geez, don’t sound so excited,” Hot Rod teased.  He beckoned Megatron down.  Megatron obliged him, turning his helm slightly since he assumed he wanted to whisper something to him, but he had assumed wrong.  Happily, mind you, since he’d pressed soft lips to his.  

Once they’d touched, he understood.  He wanted to pull Hot Rod close.  He wanted their heated plating flush.  He wanted to hear Hot Rod moan his name and beg him for more.  And his new friend got right to it.  His hand slid right down over Megatron’s modesty panel, revving his engine.

Megatron deepened their kiss, focusing on how Hot Rod’s glossa slid against his own. But all the focus in the world couldn’t have kept his spike from springing out into the waiting hands of Hot Rod.

Hot Rod smiled as he pulled away slightly.  “Look at you.  Hard for me already?”  His hand was almost comically small, stroking his shaft.  

“Who wouldn’t be?”  Megatron kissed him again.  He caressed down Hot Rod’s frame, pausing just above his heated panels.  He stifled a chuckle when Hot Rod made a quiet, impatient noise.  He teased the edge just a little longer, before sliding two fingers between legs spreading for him.  He’d barely felt the steaming metal before his finger was sliding through wet folds.

Hot Rod gasped and then ground against his hand.  He mouthed at Megatron in an almost-kiss, but it was clear his processor had dropped to his array.  

Megatron just barely pressed in, hearing Hot Rod hold his ventilations, then right back out.  He circled his anterior node a few times and whispered right in his audial.  “The berth awaits us.”

“Tease,” Hot Rod said.  But he smiled and took hold of Megatron’s hand—the one that wasn’t wet with his lubricants—and pulled him along.  He backed himself up against the berth, letting himself fall back onto it as Megatron came up over him.

Hot Rod stopped him, and when Megatron looked at his face there was a little fear in his optics.  “Um… I’m gonna need you to, uh… work me up to… that.”  He nodded towards his twitching spike.

“Of course,” Megatron said, his voice deep and rumbling.

“Not that I can’t take that size, because I can.”

Megatron chuckled.  “Even if you could take me right away, it’s much more fun to tease you until you beg me for it.”

“Do your worst, Megatron.”  Hot Rod smirked up at him; a challenge.  “Well, maybe not your worst.  Your restrained worst.  Just to start.  After that you can get as rough with me as you want.”

In an act that was anything but rough, Megatron kissed up his jawline.  “I’m not so sure I want to be rough with you.”

Hot Rod shrugged.  “I’m down for literally anything.  I’ve agreed to a lot of stuff tonight that I’ve never done before, and so far, it’s been amazing.”

Megatron smiled.  “It has.”

He kissed him before he finally pushed a finger into that warm, welcoming valve. He captured Hot Rod’s first moan in their kiss, and then the second as he pushed deeper.  The third he let escape, as his fingertip brushed his ceiling nodes.  It was surprisingly quiet.  Given the flames blazing across his chest, he assumed everything he did was quick, brash, and loud.  Just like fire.

In one way, he was fire.  Every sound, movement, and every glazed-over glance he gave Megatron had crackling heat racing through his veins.  He wouldn’t have been surprised to find soot coating his plating.  And he wouldn’t have cared one bit.

Hot Rod moaned and clawed at Megatron’s back.  He crooked his finger and pulled more of those sweet sounds from his small frame.  He was dripping everywhere and it took a great deal of restraint to not slip his spike in that wet heat and rut into him.

“I can take more,” Hot Rod whispered.  

“You’re sure?”

He nodded emphatically.  “I’m not as breakable as I look.”

Megatron couldn’t help the rev of his engine as he pushed a second finger in. It was a snug fit, but Hot Rod shuddered with pleasure and rocked his hips forward.  Each press in made a wet sound as his fingertips met with ceiling nodes and a gasp from Hot Rod.

All the while, he kissed and nipped at his neck.  Each bite would have Hot Rod holding his ventilations, until fanged denta released him, relatively unscathed.  Tomorrow it would be easy to guess what Hot Rod had been up to the night before.  Same with Megatron, if you looked at his back.  His bright hands left golden trails where his fingers dug in.  

Megatron scissored his fingers, testing his valve.  It opened easily.  Hot Rod groaned and his optics rolled back into his helm.  His biolights pulsed with his arousal, and their position made it seem like they were pointing down to where Megatron’s hand was splitting him open.

“You’re sure you don’t do this often?”  Megatron kept his voice sultry as he asked this.  He quirked up a brow and kept kissing at his neck, jaw, and collarbone.

“Well, I… it’s not like I haven’t with y’know… big bots but—ah…”  He took a few deep, shuddering ventilations.  “On my own, I like to—nhh!... push myself.”  He smiled and bit his lip.

“Is that so?”  Megatron didn’t wait for an answer before capturing his lips in a kiss and biting his lower lips himself.  He got bitten back as he pulled away.  

Hot Rod smiled up at him mischievously.  He easily stole that expression with the crook of his fingers.  He gave him a little pout and then said, “I’m ready. Get on your back.”

“Oh?”

Hot Rod guided him to where he wanted him, straddling him with lubricant-soaked thighs.  The red biolights ringing his valve were a pretty invitation for his spike.  He was a little jealous, but only a little.  If he couldn’t have his own, he’d enjoy Hot Rod’s as that light swallowed him.

“Think you can handle me?” Hot Rod taunted when he caught Megatron staring.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

He smirked.  “Oh, I know I can take this.  But I dunno about you.”  He ran his wet folds along the underside of Megatron’s spike.  It twitched involuntarily.  

“Then let’s find out, shall we?”

Hot Rod let just the tip slip in.  “Oh… we shall.”  He sank down on Megatron’s spike with a soft moan.  He took a few deep ventilations with a hand on his abdomen.  He stroked the bulge Megatron’s spike made.  “Primus, you’re huge.”

“Am I hurting you?”

Hot Rod shook his helm, smiling wide.  “Quite the opposite.”

He lifted up a bit then sunk back down a few times, watching his armour flex. His field flared with lust as he picked up the pace, smiling clumsily at Megatron all the while.

Megatron gripped his calves and gave little thrusts up to meet him.  He let his helm come to rest and shut his optics, sighing with pleasure.  He had to focus a bit on not overloading too soon because, well… it had been a while. It didn’t help that every erotic noise Hot Rod made just added to his arousal.

Hot Rod bit his lip and picked up the pace a bit, leaning forward.  Every time he took Megatron’s spike to the hilt, he would grind his anterior node against Megatron’s plating.  It arced and had Hot Rod chasing that feeling.  Faster, harder.  His warm, snug valve swallowed his spike again and again until Hot Rod could do nothing but pant and hold on.  Megatron kept pace with him, feeling his overload building all too-quickly, when Hot Rod suddenly cried out and threw his helm back.  His optics flashed white and his cooling fans roared as he slumped forward.

Ventilating deeply, Hot Rod said, “Frag… I needed that.”  With shaking arms, he lifted himself just enough to see Megatron’s face. “Sorry.  It’s, uh… been a while.”

Megatron chuckled.  “It’s fine. I was getting close, myself.”

“Don’t worry.”  Hot Rod smiled sloppily.  “I’ll getcha there, too.  Just need a minute to rest.”

“Take your time.  I have nowhere to be.”  He stroked up Hot Rod’s waist, delighting in the shiver of his frame.  He even got a few gasps as he kept his lust alive, but it turned into a flinch when his fingertips brushed his spoiler.

“Not there right now,” Hot Rod said.  “Normally I like having my spoiler touched.  It feels real good.  But right after an overload its really sensitive.”

Megatron let his hands slide back down to his waist and then he hugged him.  “Remind me of that in a few minutes.”

“Heh. Will do.”  Hot Rod nuzzled against his chest.  

Megatron twitched his spike, getting a deserved glare from Hot Rod.

He smiled.  “Sorry, honest mistake.”

“Uh huh.”  Hot Rod rolled his optics.  “You’re just mad that you’re still horny.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“Yeah, yeah.”  Hot Rod blew a raspberry.  “If you wanna go again so badly you gotta take over.”

Megatron shrugged.  “Alright. Hold on, then.”

With a smile and a bite to his lower lip, Hot Rod wrapped his arms around him. As soon as he was secure, Megatron flipped them.  He took a moment to admire the pretty package beneath him.  Staring up at him with eager, lustful optics.  That sight alone would be enough to make him overload.

“You’re beautiful,” Megatron said a little too honestly.

Somehow, Hot Rod’s face managed to turn a deeper shade of red.  He hid behind his hands, but Megatron could still see his beaming smile.

“Shut up.”

Megatron chuckled.  “But you are. And right now, you’re being adorable.”

Hot Rod peeked out from his hiding place, and that only served to make him look cuter.  In a meek voice, he said, “You’re beautiful, too.”

Megatron rolled his optics and shook his helm with a small smile.  “You don’t need to lie to me, Hot Rod.  I don’t expect a compliment back.

“But you are,” Hot Rod insisted.  “Your smile, your optics… not to mention you’re just… rugged.  Like, in a really hot way.”  His spoiler flapped against the berth, trying to dispel heat. “I’m not good with words.”

Megatron kissed him to spare him further embarrassment.  But also because he just wanted to kiss him.  There was something about this little speedster.  He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he knew that he wanted to be close to him.

The smell of ozone and wafting steam surrounded them.  He tasted the remnants of Hot Rod’s overly sweet drink on his lips, and what would have been too much to drink himself, made him kiss him deeper. Really savouring it.  He savoured the feel of Hot Rod’s hands, too.  All over him.  They dragged electricity along his plating and coaxed him into a gentle rhythm that had Hot Rod sighing happily.

His ventilations a little laboured, Megatron said, “It’s been a while for me, too.”

Hot Rod laughed.  “You gonna blow your load already?”

Megatron chuckled.  “Not right away, but soon, yes.”

“Take it slow, then.”  Hot Rod pulled him down for a kiss.  “You feel really good… I wanna savour it.”

“Says the mech who came after two minutes.”

“It was like four.”

Megatron laughed and kissed him one more time.  “I’m fine with taking my time.  The night’s still young.”

Hot Rod relaxed into his berth with a sigh.  He looked up at Megatron with big, round, sparkling optics, his arms splayed out on either side.  Open, and vulnerable.  There was this air of trust in his field that made him glad he’d been the one to pick him up from that seedy bar.  Most of them would have taken him in and then tossed him out, but Megatron, well… he really hoped this wouldn’t be the last time he got to see him.

It had been a long time since he’d interfaced at all, but even longer since he’d done something so… slow.  Gentle. Watching Hot Rod’s face, soft and languid with pleasure, he wanted to call it love.  

It wasn’t, obviously.  Love at first sight, or even first frag, didn’t exist.  Lust?  Infatuation? Of course.  But this felt like more.  He saw what could easily become love.  Like a new, exciting path had opened up in his life.  And he knew it was foolish to even dream of anything beyond this night, but hope so rarely found his spark.

So, he enjoyed the moment.  He slowly fragged him, drawing out all these soft sounds.  He wanted to kiss him, but then he wouldn’t hear them.  Or see his optics flutter closed.  Or see him shift just a little bit closer.  

And there was his spoiler.

This time, when his hands met the sensitive metal, Hot Rod moaned and squirmed. He gripped the sheets and arched off of the berth, moaning Megatron’s name.

“Good?” Megatron checked in, just in case.

“So good.”  Hot Rod met his gaze briefly before another caress of his spoiler had his optics closing with a long, low moan.

Megatron quickened his pace just a little.  He leaned down to use his mouth, instead, and when his glossa swirled around the pointed tip of his spoiler, Hot Rod rolled his hips to match Megatron’s rhythm. He left more scratches on Megatron’s back as another overload suddenly hit him, arching further and gasping.

His calipers cycled down on Megatron’s girth.  He moaned and thrust erratically.  Hot Rod’s calipers rippled around his spike, pulling him deeper and deeper until he bottomed out, transfluid gushing out around his spike.  He thrust a few more times until Hot Rod had milked him of all that he had.

Being careful not to crush Hot Rod, Megatron rolled off of him.  

Hot Rod was left gaping and dripping.  Out of breath, he said, “I think you’re gonna make me walk funny tomorrow.”  He gave Megatron a wobbly smile.  “Not complaining.”

Megatron chuckled.  He rubbed Hot Rod’s belly, still marvelling how he’d managed to take his spike without that much difficulty.

“I didn’t hurt you, right?”

Hot Rod shook his helm.  “That was one of the best frags of my life.”

Megatron couldn’t help but smirk.  “I try.”

“Can we try again?”

Megatron chuckled again.  “How about we get cleaned up, instead?  It’s a small shower, so you can use it first.”

“What? After fragging me into the berth you’re too shy to share a shower with me?”  Hot Rod shook his helm.  “Nah. We’re showering together. Because I wouldn’t mind getting a little dirtier before we get clean.”

“In that case…”  Megatron got out of berth and swept a surprised Hot Rod up into his arms. He let out an endearing little squeak, and he hoped he didn’t mind when he nuzzled against him.  He assumed not, since he nuzzled him back.

Why did this all feel so right?  

The shower really was cramped.  Even when Megatron was alone he found himself hitting his elbows against the wall.  But with Hot Rod there, wanting to be close to him, it felt like the perfect amount of space.  

Unfortunately, with the difference in their height, it made kissing next to impossible, but they found a way.  Though after a few, Megatron had to be the responsible one and actually clean the fluids from their frames.  It didn’t help that Hot Rod curved his frame in just the right way to get his hands where he wanted them.  And that he stuck his aft out so it rubbed up against his array.  All that paired with the sultry looks over his shoulder, and it took all of Megatron’s willpower not to succumb to him.

The willpower that was cracking away.

“Insatiable, aren’t you?” Megatron purred in his audial.

“Just another quick frag,” Hot Rod temped him. His aft swayed in a figure eight. “You know you want to.”

When his valve cover snapped open and newer, warmer lubricants dripped down his panels, all his resolve vanished.  Megatron easily picked Hot Rod up and impaled him on his length.  He thrust into him, pressed Hot Rod into the tiled wall.  His moans echoed around them and spurred him on.  

He felt the bulge his spike made beneath his fingers, tight around Hot Rod’s waist.  Nearly too much spike for his little frame.  And yet, Hot Rod kept begging for more, more.  Harder. Faster.

Oral lubricants dripped from Hot Rod’s open mouth. He tried to speak, but it was incoherent.  Megatron couldn’t find the words either.  He just pounded away at that welcoming valve.

The water made everything that much more slippery. The only secure hold he could find was wrapping his arms around Hot Rod’s waist, giving him everything he had.  It was the complete opposite of their first time, but just as pleasurable.  It wasn’t long before Megatron was spilling more fluids into Hot Rod’s tank, and hearing him moan his name.

A satiated Hot Rod was much easier to clean.  He seemed too tired to do much of anything, so Megatron gently lathered and rinsed him, giving him a few pecks here and there.

Hot Rod’s smile was wobbly as he leaned much of his weight onto Megatron.  He attempted to return the favour, but after a few clumsy tries Megatron kissed him and whispered, “Just relax.  I’ll finish up soon and then we’ll settle down into berth.  That is, if you wanted to stay the night?”

Hot Rod nodded.  “If that’s alright with you.”

“As long as you’re alright with some cuddling.”

“I’m always down to cuddle.”

Megatron kissed him on his forehelm and got himself mostly clean.  It was enough to be able to cuddle without grossing Hot Rod out, anyways.  Though it seemed like he wouldn’t care either way.  But he wanted to impress him.  Or at least not be gross.  

What a strange night.

Finishing up, Megatron shut the water off and dried the both of them off.  Hot Rod once again made it a challenge by stopping him to kiss and just generally being quite handsy.  It was hard to get annoyed, though.  Hot Rod’s interruptions were hardly a nuisance.  He’d let him distract him all day if that distraction was a hand stroking up his chest or a kiss to his chin when he stooped down.

Eventually, he managed to dry them both off, and then he picked Hot Rod up once more, laying him down in berth.  He was barely in before Hot Rod was snuggled up to him. He cutely nuzzled against him, resting his helm on his chest.  

They stayed like that for a while, just enjoying the silence and closeness.  Megatron thought Hot Rod had fallen asleep when he spoke up.

“Do you believe in fate?” Hot Rod asked quietly.

Megatron sighed thoughtfully.  “Well… I’m not one to believe that everything happens for a reason.  I think, most of the time, what we think of as fate is just one of an infinite number of possibilities.  Coincidences are bound to happen.”

“Oh…”

“Oh?”

Hot Rod shrugged.  “I dunno if I believe-believe in fate, but something drew me to you.  Beyond just your smile.”

Megatron gently stroked his spoiler.

“I think…”  Hot Rod traced a crack in Megatron’s chest plating.  “Some sparks are just drawn too each other and we don’t know why.  I dunno.  I’ve heard some bots say that maybe it’s because our atoms or whatever were close to each other when the universe was created.”  When shy blue optics rose to meet steady red, he flushed pink.  “Uh… not that I’m like saying we’re soulmates or anything like that—I barely know you—but… and maybe it’s just me, but something about you feels… special.  Like I’m supposed to be here.”

“I don’t know about all that,” Megatron said, “but I can say that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed your company.  And I want to see you again.  Perhaps for an actual date?”

“Oh, well, I… I’m not gonna be in Tarn for long,” he admitted meekly.

The room felt noticeably heavier when both of their fields turned somber.

“Sorry, I… I live in Nyon.  I just came here for a visit.”

That new path he’d imagined faded into shadows.  He saw Hot Rod walk off without him, and it hurt more than it should.

Pushing past these new, dumb emotions that he shouldn’t even be having, he said “In that case… if you’re ever in Tarn, you know where to find me.”

Hot Rod gave him a bittersweet smile.  “You can call me if you’re ever around Nyon, too.  I wouldn’t exactly call it a great vacation spot, but I could show you around.”

“It’s not like I get much vacation.”

“Oh. Right.  Is it?  As bad as they say it is down there?”

Megatron’s optics dimmed.  

“Sorry.  You don’t have to answer that, it was rude of me to ask.”

“Let’s just say that I greatly prefer being above ground, here, with you.”

Hot Rod smiled.  “Me, too.”

 These two sparks would meet again, millions of years later.  One hidden behind red and one behind violet.  There was no rosy glow.  No easy conversation.  Not even a pleasantry passed between them.  There was only a fusion cannon, levelled at the red that protected Hot Rod’s spark.

Should he say something?  Did he even remember him?  Had everything he said been a lie?

Hot Rod wasn’t given much time to think before a photon round ripped through his frame and left him floating, near-death, in the void of space.  The Megatron he had met had long since died. That sweet smile was gone.

And Hot Rod was going to die. "You remember that night, don't you?"

Megatron sighed.  He figured this would happen, eventually, but it had been so long he’d assumed Rodimus wanted to forget all about it.  "That was a long time ago, Rodimus."

"But you remember it. Which means you've thought about it."

“We’re around each other enough.  It’s hard not to think about it.”

“Okay, then, what are your thoughts on it?”

“I think it happened millions of years ago.”

“And? A ton of shit happened millions of years ago that I still remember clearly.  That night is one of them.  I had a good time and I thought you did, too.  I would’ve gone for you if we lived in the same city, and now we’re here together, so…”  Rodimus fidgeted.

“… So?”

“So… I dunno.  It felt like fate that night and now that you’re here it really feels like fate.  I just want to know where your head’s at on all of this.  I’m kinda confused and feelings are stupid but they’re there.”

Megatron sighed.  “How I feel doesn’t matter.  I can’t give you what you want.”

“What do you think I want?”

“I can only assume you want what we both wanted back then, if you’re bringing it up.”

Rodimus didn’t say anything for a long time.  When he did speak again, it was a question.

"Where do you think we'd be? If I stayed in Tarn?"

"Was that even an option for you?"

Rodimus shrugged. "If there were streets, I could live on them."

Megatron gave him a sympathetic look.

"I can't say your apartment wasn't... tempting. But I figured you wouldn’t want someone you just met trying to crash at your place every night." Rodimus chuckled awkwardly.  “Plus, I… I didn’t want you looking down on me or taking pity on me.”

“You thought I’d look down upon you?  I was a miner.”

“Yeah, but at least you had a job.  At least you were useful.”

“Your existence is not defined by your usefulness.”

“I know.  I do.  But that’s what I thought at the time.”  

An uncomfortable silence befell them.  Eventually it proved to be too awkward for Rodimus.

"And, y’know, the fragging was pretty good, too." The smirk he gave Megatron was cocksure, but his reddening face betrayed him.

"You remember how good it was all these millions of years later?" Megatron teased.

"You don’t?"

Megatron looked wistful for a moment.  “No.  I remember. I don’t think I could ever forget.”

"I felt something special that night," Rodimus confessed. "If I'm honest, I've spent a lot of nights wondering how things might have been if I’d stayed.  If I would have been a Decepticon, if the war would have even happened…”  After a glance Megatron’s way, finding him staring, he chuckled nervously.  “Uh, but, y’know, it’s nothing.  We didn’t know each other.”

“I wanted to know you,” Megatron said.

“Well… you can now, if you want.”  Rodimus took a half step towards him.

Megatron stifled every urge.  To kiss him or hug him or do any number of things that required closeness.  He couldn’t just take what he wanted, anymore. “Tell me what you want, Rodimus. If I’m on this ship I need you to be perfectly clear with me.”

Rodimus bit his lip.  Then, in a rush, he said, “I want you to kiss me.”

“You’re sure?”

“Just do it.”

Megatron still hesitated, but his blue optics were his weakness.  He couldn’t deny him.  Not with him looking at him so softly.  It was that same not-love look.  Of almost-love.  Of maybe-love.  It was a look so full of potential and all Megatron had to do to unlock that potential was to take that step and kiss him.

Everything would change.  That path opened up again, but it was harder to see far down it.  It was still there, but obscured.  A dangerous path.  He couldn’t plan ahead for what lay beyond.

Megatron took that step, but it felt more like a leap.

Rodimus hadn’t expected much from the kiss, but sparks flew.  His knees went weak when Megatron’s hand came up to cup his cheek.  He could have so easily lost himself in everything this kiss was and let his frame lead the way, but their second meeting came rushing back with all of their baggage.

He pulled away.

Rodimus looked down, but didn’t step out of Megatron’s reach.  “Sorry, I… just, after everything, it’s… it’s not as simple, now.”

“I know.”  Megatron reluctantly released him.  “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay.  Really.” Rodimus smiled at him and took a hold of both of his hands.  “For us, or me, I guess, it’s easy.  It’s ‘yes.’  It’s ‘I want to try this.’  But for everyone else, it’s…”

“None of their business.”

“I know, but, it kind of is.  ‘Cause you’re… you.”

“Mm…”

“But… if you want to try being together, I think it’s worth the scrutiny.”

“Are you okay with this?”  Megatron rested a hand over Rodimus’ racing spark.  

Rodimus kept that hand there.  “Who hasn’t tried to kill their partner, right?”  He bit his lip.  “It’s… we were at war.”

“It was still wrong.”

“Yeah…”

Rodimus shook his helm, as if he was shaking those thoughts from his processor. “Okay.  Since you’re trying to get a new start here or whatever, let’s just… start fresh.  You and me. Like I’d stayed in Tarn and we got to see where this was going.  Okay?”

“Alright.”  

“I know it can’t be exactly like that, but… I just don’t want us carrying all this scrap around with us.  We’re just two mechs in a relationship.  ‘Mkay?”

“If that’s what you want, Rodimus.”

“I just wanna be with you.  Because it really does just… feel right.  I dunno why.”

Megatron lifted one of Rodimus’s hands to his mouth and left a gentle kiss.  “Some sparks are just drawn to each other,” he whispered, “and we don’t know why.”

Rodimus smiled.  “Poetic bastard.”

After sharing an amused and quiet moment, Megatron asked, “Are you still as insatiable as Hot Rod was?”

Rodimus grinned and pressed himself to Megatron.  “Wanna find out?”

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #22- If You Don’t Love Thunderclash, Get Better Soon I Guess

One last issue before we reach Comic Event Hell.

Time to use a dead man to set up the rest of the nonsense that’s got to happen, because apparently 14 issues of setup, including six issues of literal prelude, wasn’t enough.

The first bit of information we’re presented with is the fact that Chromedome and Swerve are on the opposite sides of the camera-shy scale. I guess that’s bound to happen when your spouse has had his video-cam literally connected to his brain for at least several thousand years.

The art may look really gritty and hardcore here, but this is actually due to a filter Rewind has over all his footage that he’s neglected to take off, because it made all the wartime propaganda he would stuff into people’s heads all the more brutal-looking.

No, this is the style of our artist for this issue, James Raiz, who we’ll be seeing a fair bit of over the next several issues. Raiz has worked on the Transformers franchise over the course of multiple license-holders, as well as contributed to both Marvel and DC comics. He also works in special effects, including matte painting and VFX. That’s just neat.

Anyway, the reason Swerve’s completely frozen in place isn’t because Rewind  switched out his head-mounted camera for a gun that goes off if it hears you make a self-deprecating joke, but rather because he’s conducting interviews with everyone in the main cast. We get all their introductions, Cyclonus makes a statement about his political stances, Drift sounds like he’s high as a kite, First Aid strikes a sassy pose while not being bitter in the slightest, and Ultra Magnus makes a move that would get him murdered on any given film set in the universe.

You do NOT use your bare fucking hand to clean a camera lens, mister. Go get a microfiber cloth and try the fuck again, you complete and utter duffel bag of a creature.

We get a quick cut of the speech Rodimus made back in issue #1, with an angle that implies that Rewind was in the front row of the front row, then cut over to Rodimus asking Rewind to document their Capital-Q Quest. This is where we establish that this film doesn’t only contain footage from Rewind’s personal camera, but also that of the Lost Light’s security system.

Which feels like the sort of access you maybe wouldn’t want to give some nosy little film buff, especially when you have a secret giant serial killing sadist living in your basement like a disappointing adult child.

See? He was given the job to record the adventures of the Lost Light not five minutes ago, and he’s already using his powers for evil. Eavesdropping evil. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, Rodimus, and you just handed it to the guy with a massive Dominus Ambus-shaped chip on his shoulder.

So Rewind’s got permission to film just about whatever he wants, and Rodimus figures it’ll be nonstop action from here to the finish line! Fights! Intrigue! Mild hijinks and peril! Explosions aplomb! Oh man, I can’t wait to see what kinds of crazy shit will happen on this absolute roller coaster of a Quest!

Smashcut to Swerve literally falling asleep in the middle of a conversation. Yeah, as it turns out, no quest, capital Q or not, is nonstop action. Which is good, honestly, because that kind of seems like it would be exhausting after the first week or so.

Swerve, Tailgate, and Rewind are discussing cool alt-modes, which seems like an odd topic, seeing as Tailgate and Swerve have basically the same situation going on there, leaving Rewind alone in the camp of “does not have wheels”.

I worry about you sometimes, Rewind. Internalized Functionism is a very real problem. Uh, well, in your universe anyway. Us humans have to deal with regular ol’ classism and racism.

Rung gets brought up, and it’s revealed that the wheel on his back is almost purely cosmetic; it doesn’t even actually attach to his body. The lads decide that they’ve got nothing better to do, and set up a gentlemen’s wager- first one to figure out Rung’s whole deal gets 100 space-dollars.

Throwing shit at people’s heads will be a major plot point in the climax of this comic series.

Swerve’s go at trying to win the bet involved tossing a grenade at Rung to hit him in the neural cluster, which is rumored to be able to force an involuntary mode change if done correctly. Obviously, it didn’t work this go around. Then our narrative focus switches over to the crew’s hobbies.

You were listening to Prince, weren’t you, Magnus? Not even deep space is safe from the Cease and Desist.

Skids’ hobby is meeting new people, because he suffers from the terrible curse of being so fucking good at everything he tries, he always ends up dropping whatever he picked up, because what’s the point? This acts as a segue into another flashback, to even MORE bullshit that the fellas got roped into on Hedonia.

These are the Stentarians. They’re like the Cybertronians, if they were better in every way.

And by “better”, I, of course, mean “more bloodthirsty, warmongering, and driven enough to make their civil war last about as long as the Jurassic Period”. Also, they’re all combiners by default, and Whirl seems a little TOO into their whole situation. So much so, in fact, that when the Imperial Guard of their race show up to kill them, he decides to do them a solid by single-handedly ending their entire war.

You know, in most cases you’re supposed to show and not tell for visual media. This is way funnier, though, so it can be excused.

We jump back into the interviews, and Rewind’s just asked everyone if they’re happy. This might seem like an odd question, until you remember that everyone on-board this ship has crippling depression and PTSD, and Rewind’s married to one of the saddest motherfuckers to ever exist, so he probably has this question loaded into the proverbial chamber at any given moment. We won’t cover all of the answers here, because they’ll be more poignant to reflect back on later in the comic run, but let’s take a gander at the characters who’ve completed the first leg of their character arcs this season.

Drift, is that perhaps… an honest expression of your inner thought processes happening right there? Has Rewind broken through your carefully crafted persona, if even for just a moment, with his question? Perish the thought!

Because Tailgate outed himself as being baby in issue #21, I have zero doubt he’s not exaggerating here. He was a janitor, then he fell in a hole and became Dirt-Nap Supreme for six million years; even the most boring day on the Lost Light’s got to be better than that.

And it’s nice to see Chromedome on a good day for once. Hopefully he reveled in it while he had the chance, because this interview takes place maybe a couple weeks before he fucks everything up big time and has to blow up his husband with a missile strike.

Getting back to the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode plotline, we see Rung using his backpack as a wheelbarrow- no idea what he’s actually pushing in the damned thing- and wearing the most disgruntled face I’ve seen him pull in a hot minute. Someone yells for him to come down the eerily unlit and sinister-looking hallway, which he does. Rung would not do well in a horror film.

He winds up at Swerve’s, where Tailgate, Swerve, Brainstorm, and someone who is most likely Trailcutter, given the colors, are hanging out in their alt-modes. Tailgate’s ploy to find out Rung’s deal is to do what he does best- lie! They’re having an alt-mode party, and wouldn’t Rung like to join in? There are, of course, logistical issues with being a car in a bar, especially when your drink is on the table and your head is tucked up somewhere in your torso, but never mind all that! Let’s get crazy!

This doesn’t work either. Maybe we should cut out the middle man here and just get Rung drunk enough to agree to a wet alt-mode contest.

No, I don’t have any idea how that would work.

In our next vignette, Rodimus comes into the comms room, Rewind trailing behind him like a grim shadow of death, to see what the hell Blaster wants, other than just the hugest glass of water.

Raiz’s work is very detailed, and you really feel the weight of these giant metal space robots, but everyone looks like they’ve been put through a food dehydrator.

We get a lot of build up to the character who’s about to be introduced, with a common opinion being shared amongst everyone- even Tailgate, who hates successful people like his life depends on it.

Lovely readers, put your hands together for the ideal male partner for Autobots, Decepticons, and Neutrals alike:

A man with so much charisma and charm that only Rodimus could hate him, Thuderclash brings to IDW what everyone wishes Optimus Prime would, making our disappointing space dad even more mediocre by comparison. He fights for justice, and freedom, and the good of the universe- and he does it all while having a chronic medical condition that forces him to stay within a certain distance of his ship that is also a life-support machine, otherwise he will die. Despite his handicaps, Thunderclash seemingly brings to others what they need most, even if they don’t even realize that they needed it in the first place.

He also, in this one scene, appeals to Drift’s religious sensibilities, does a secret best-friend dance with Ratchet (who he helped to pass his medical exams- yes, Ratchet), and congratulates Rodimus on his questing so far.

Thunderclash is one of those characters that everyone in-universe is supposed to love, and I completely buy it- because he’s completely genuine and humble about all of this the entire time.

Compare this to the last time Roberts wrote Thunderclash, in Eugenesis.

Where he was an ex-Decepticon.

And kind of an abrasive asshole.

And then he died.

Y’know, now that I think of it, Eugenesis Thunderclash and MTMTE Ambulon being basically the same character makes a whole lot of sense, even without the horrors of Roberts’ Twitter getting involved.

Thunderclash reveals that he, too, is on a quest to find the Knights of Cybertron, much to Rodimus’ chagrin. But first he needs the Lost Light to break out the jumper cables, and then for his second in command to stop threatening his life.

Turns out, not everyone is as obvious as the Cybertronians with their naming conventions. Whirl assassinated the wrong folks; I’m sure the Galactic Council is utterly thrilled. Paddox wants to steal the quantum engine technology for the good of his people, so they can kick the ass of the up-and-coming Terradore leader.

Completely unaware of the situation unfolding here in the lab, Swerve is directing Rung towards the warm, loving aura of Thunderclash for another go at winning the gentlemen’s wager- through the power of lying about having friends, Swerve’s “agreed” to get Rung Thunderclash’s autograph, in exchange for getting to check that Rung’s transformation cog is still working. Then they bump into the nightmare currently unfolding. My, whoever will save us from this dreaded menace, who holds a gun to the head of the Autobots’ greatest warrior, confidant, friend, and perhaps even lover?

How about a bartender and a giant vape pen?

Okay, so Rung doesn’t actually turn into a vape. It turns out that the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode is also a mystery to the man himself. Because Rung is old as shit, the Functionists got to see this bullshit for themselves, and ended up testing him over and over and over trying to figure it out, lest he prove to be a flaw in their fascist ideologies. Fun fact: fascists HATE it when people they’re trying to oppress don’t play to their expectations.

The Functionists were the ones who gave Rung his little wheelie backpack, to make him at least appear useful. This sort of treatment tends to warp one’s head a bit, which would explain why he’s bothered to keep it for so long- internalized functionism’s a real bitch.

At least he’s not giving teenagers nicotine addictions under the guise of being somewhat better than cigarettes.

Back with Rodimus and Cybertron’s Autobot of the Year for 40,000 consecutive years, we get the unfortunate news that jump-starting Thunderclash’s ship is going to make the Quest go a bit slower for the Lost Light, much to Rodimus’ horror, though he does his best to put on a brave face; after all, that’s what heroes do, isn’t it?

It’s at this point that it’s revealed that “Little Victories” was being screened to all the Circle of Light members who didn’t get murdered or turned into Legislators on Luna 1, and man are these guys pissy. What was meant to be a recruitment video turned out to do just the opposite, because none of these guys want anything to do with what the Lost Light’s got going on.

Too bad Rewind didn’t have time for a cleaner cut for showing. Maybe they could have at least snagged a couple of these guys to tag along.

As all of the Circle of Light leave the theatre to go call everyone’s favorite Autobot to see if he needs a more crew members, the film plays on behind Skids, back to the interviews, as everyone promises more adventures just waiting on the horizon.

You’re not even on this trip anymore, you dork.

Chromedome gives us the title drop for the movie and issue, and we cut to Rewind organizing a group photo of all the interviewees.

And then Rewind died horribly like a week later. Thus ends season one of More Than Meets the Eye!

While I’m here, I’d like to take the time to cover a little bit of cut content from this issue, a scene between Drift and Ratchet.

Drift, during his interview, recalls the time that Ratchet called him into his office for a very serious discussion about his/Pharma’s hands.

Yeah, turns out they’re haunted.

Well, no, not really, because this is a prank. But Drift doesn’t know that yet.

Ratchet demonstrates this hand-haunting by punching Drift in the face, as he screams damnation at Pharma’s ghost. Drift, because he is a spiritual man, knows exactly what to do to deal with this possession; he draws his sword and chops Ratchet’s hands off, then throws them out the airlock.

This, too, is a prank, not that Ratchet knows it right away, yelling at Drift that he’s crippled him.

Clearly, these two belong together.

This bit of cut script was lucky enough to have gotten drawn by the colorist for MTMTE Season 1, Josh Burcham. Burcham’s line art is iconic- you won’t mistake him for anyone else. It’s rough and angular, and honestly just very charming. I’m a sucker for this sort of style. If you want to see his adaptation of this chunk of script- and trust me, you do- the link’s right here:

https://dcjosh.tumblr.com/post/107665292031/its-done-the-mtmte-22-deleted-scene-in-all-its