#If they do -- even unintentionally -- then I must be the one overreacting and being antagonistic about it.
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It's hilarious how abandonment comes in many forms. And even though this is the lowest and faintest form of abandonment, I'm amazed at how well it fucked up my mental state lately.
#I don't want to sound like the main character of anything which is why I try to keep these sort of ramblings to myself#but its healthy to acknowledge a problem.#Even if it sounds like a 'woe is me'#It's healthy -- at least for me -- to take off my rose-colored glasses and see things for what they truly are.#I have an issue where I can never really think that people I love can do any wrong.#If they do -- even unintentionally -- then I must be the one overreacting and being antagonistic about it.#But -- sometimes -- I really need to acknowledge that not everyone is a Saint.#I really need to acknowledge that my hurt feelings are valid. Even if it wasn't intentional I was still hurt in the end.#It's something I need to work on I suppose. I've cried too much these past few days over stupid feelings.#I wish I never felt anything at all. Or that I was the type that didn't dwell on attachments so strongly.#I sometimes wish I wasn't a person at all. I wish I was how I was back then. Stonewalling everything.#Unfortunately people grow up from their emo ages. I now need help processing all of these feelings.#Which is why I'm going to do therapy as soon as I can pay for it.
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