#If the link does not work just look up elk screaming

[loop-hole-319]

Goodbye little Elk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYzWmKlZtrU&ab_channel=nova60

At first glance this panicked creature may look like a fully grown Cervitaur of a Caribou, and it may appear that he has an antler deformity causing his antlers droop down to the sides of his head. But this is not the case, this is in fact this is an adolescent Irish Elk Cervitaur with a scientific name of ‘Megaloceros giganteus Elaphocentaur’. His future fossil records suggest that he is around the age of 15 to 16, and that he lived approximately 8000 years ago. This specific individual also appears to have some form of hyperpigmentation disorder on his lower half, causing the normally brown fur of the species to appear black. This young bull has been separated from his herd and has been searching for it for the last several hours. But little does he know his search is about to come to an end in the worst way possible.

Danny was well aware that he was a dumbass, his sister would constantly remind him of this fact. Of course it was all in good fun.   “MOOOHEEEEEUHHMmmm” He called out to his mother knowing that his shrill cry out to her would carry for miles. While keeping an even paced trot, he scanned the foggy horizon of the chilly morning dew fields for her and his sister. Tears began threatening formation, he had at this all night and there hadn't even been a response call back. His self-hug tightened in on himself as he slowed to a stop, the tidal wave of emotions and realizations that he had been holding back we're starting to crack the dam.

 The tears that now fell freely down his face were much warmer than the chilly air, a dry heave came up through his throat as the conclusion that he had been ignoring for the last several hours finally reared it's ugly head. He was alone, completely and utterly alone. He had no idea where his herd was and they had no idea were he was. For all they new he could be being eaten by a saber tooth right now. He knows how dangerous it is to stray from the heard, his antlers aren't even two feet long yet so why the hell did he wander.  

His ears shot back on a swivel point and he froze as he was pulled back into reality, he had heard something out there. Slowly he turned himself around to point in the direction of the sound and flicked his ears forward straining them to pick up the smallest sounds. There out in fog was a small movement. 

Danny took a step forward leaning his human body forward and subconsciously extending his opposite back leg out to balance his already tremendous weight. Danny squinted and placed his hand above his eyes to block out what ever early morning rays were able to creep through the overcast sky. He sat there staring out over the land for a moment or two try to see if he could spot what ever was out there. 

The wind picked up and blew in his direction just as he was beginning to abandon his side search and a familiar sent slammed into him. His eyes widened in recognition and his ears dropped down to the side of his head. He could practically hear his own heart begin to palpitate in his chest. “No, no no no no”  A loud howl erupted a good ways away the source of it being shrouded by the fog. A pack of dire wolves was approaching him. 

 Danny stumbled backwards away from the smell as he began to hyperventilate, he stumbled over his own four feet as he turned around to flee. The thunderous sound of his hooves slamming into the dampened dirt cut through the other wise quiet and serene landscape. The beat of his hooves hitting the floor alongside his heavy breaths that were laced with fear created a harmonious rhythm that was only interrupted with splashing as he ran through what he believed to be a shallow pool from the other days rain. 

Danny’s pace was slowed significantly once he entered the pool, he internally cursed himself for not just going around the shallow puddle. Although the puddle was much shallower than he originally believed it to be and the ground was much softer in the dirt in the surrounding area. Perhaps the water pulled above it combined with how hot it was the day before had made the ground soggier.

Danny’s heart felt like he had just jumped from a cliff with realization.

A Tar pit.

He was stuck in a tar pit.        “OHH GOD” he yelled out. “SHIT” He leaned his upper half forwards with one of his front hooves in an attempt to move himself out of the tar. He may have succeeded if he pulled up out of the tar and then moved it forward, but fear clouded his judgment and the offset caused him to tilt forward and land sternum first into the tar. Danny lay on his human stomach and his deer rear facing skyward, his arms spread out in front of him in an attempt to keep his head off of the tar. He could feel his back hooves slowly sliding away from him, in a split second before another wave panic struck him, he wondered if his legs would slide out from under him or if they would buckle under his weight first.

His question was answered for him as a squelching sound from his hooves sliding through the tar reached his fuzzy ears. And in the moment that his hindquarters landed on the tar he attempted to push himself up with his front legs, only to feel them sink deeper into the pit.  He cried out in shock as this happened, although the new position removed some pressure off his neck, which not only had to hold up his head but as well as his antlers that reached a little over 5 feet from tip to tip. And he knew as soon as he put his head down the underside of his antlers would become stuck in the tar, if that were to happen it would become impossible to remove his head and seeing that in this position, he was barely able to hold his head up let alone put out of the sticky oil what spell disaster for his already doomed self.

Danny breathed in deeply in an attempt to calm himself before taking a moment to collect himself to pull all of the emotion that he had been feeling throughout the day to place it on a back burner. His sister had always told him that if he got himself into danger, he needed to be able to think clearly. So he took another deep shaky breath before starting the grounding exercise she had taught him to do. So he sat there in tar quietly feeling the sticky tar cover his under belly, the tar itself smelt like shit. It also felt like shit in his fur. 

The smell reminded him of the onetime his sister dared him to stomp on an abandoned terror bird nest. He felt warm rays of the sun as they begin to peek through the clouds is it ascended into the sky. Feeling calm enough he decided to attempt his stand once again, the sense of calm but he had managed was quickly overshadowed by fear and dread as sudden shift in weight began to pull him further into the pit of crude oil.

 He began to panic and pulled his top half off of tar a sudden boost in strength given to him bye fear, that new weight combined with his panicked flailing pulled his legs even further under. “MOOOHEEEEEAAAAAEEEEUUUHHMmmmmmm” He struggled and cried out again for his mother, panic filling his voice.     He cried out for her again and again only stopping when the winds sudden change in direction reminded him that he was not alone.  

His ears flipped back and his eyes widened at the sound of large paw pads slamming against the earth. At this point his level of panic had reached its Max and he could do nothing but watch as the dire wolves walk carefully around the edges of the puddle searching for the piece of land that had the shortest distance to him. one of the younger possibly less experienced wolves paced impatiently as its elders searched for a good entrance point.

 Several of the rougher looking wolves had already decided that they were to wait until he tire or pass out for exhaustion, they let him know this by going and laying under some underbrush nearby not once taking their eyes off him. The majority of the wolves however, continued to sniff along the edges of the bank gauging the distance between himself and the edges of solid ground. The younger impatient wolf disappeared behind him out of Danny’s line of sight.

Then suddenly Danny feels a great force impact him from behind, the wolf has jumped onto his back. The sudden force from the impact sends his body down several inches more into the tar and the wolf begins to scratch and bite at his human back. Danny cries out in pain and through his hands over his head reaching desperately for the wolf. Danny in an attempt to reach back further he bends his upper half backwards and successfully manages to grab the wolf by its scruff. feeling the matted fur in between his fingers Danny throws himself forward, sending the wolf sailing overhead landing upside down in the tar. The force of the impact since the wolf down several inches into the thick oil and begins to whimper loudly as it realizes that it's back and entire face have been submerged in the tar. The force of him throwing the wolf over his head and into the tar cast himself to be slammed into the viscous black liquid and now he lays on his stomach his arms spread out in front of him to keep his head from landing in the tar.

It has been several hours since he has sent the wolf flying overhead, since then the wolf has stopped moving completely. The sun is now completely overhead it's heat evaporated bear entirety of the puddle that hid the tar pit from view. Danny lay miserably in the slowly heating tar as it radiated heat and bubbles slowly rising to the surface popped around him at random.

 His throat was sore form calling out to his mother and he was beginning to feel lightheaded from the intense heat and the amount of water that he had lost and crying. One of the elder wolves stood up and began to slowly make its way over to the edge of the solid ground. Danny let out a single self-pity filled chuckle as he eyed the wolf. his neck and arms felt as if they were on fire he had never needed to hold up is heavy head like this for so long.

 His arms had begun to tremble a while ago and he could feel the muscles giving out underneath him. And just like that his arms buckled from the weight of his own antlers, he wondered to himself how much longer would he have lasted if he did not have them. And with a resounding splat he landed in to the tar, he miraculously managed to keep his chin above the tar as it fell. Danny tilted his head to the side and allowed his antler to touch the tar, he was not going to be getting up from this anyways, so it didn't matter now. His eyes slid shut as he began to pass out from exhaustion the only sound now was of the wolves getting ready to feast on him.

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 2x13-- Day 492

FINALLY DONE WRITING THIS. Recap under the cut! Also, as soon as I post this, I’m going to work on updating my meta page where you can find links to posts about EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of TGW and TGF. 

Dear writers: I’ll forgive Timeline Fuckery when it’s beyond your control. I understand that you’re shooting outdoor scenes in March/April when in the show it’s supposed to be late May, so there’s snow on the ground and everyone’s in coats. Fine. You can’t change the weather. And I understand that the Day ### titles are more symbolic than literal. But what’s your excuse for opening this episode with the date (May 27th, 2018) when you didn’t need to?

For one, May 27th, 2018 is a Sunday—and thus not a work day. Any calendar will tell you this. For another, Lucca goes into labor “two weeks early,” we’re told. In 2x06, she said the birth date was scheduled for May 22nd. Why do you do this, writers?! You didn’t have to give dates. You didn’t have to OPEN THIS EPISODE WITH THE DATE. And, if you’re going to use dates, at the very least, write them down somewhere!!!!

See, now I’m starting off the episode in Nitpick Mode (to be fair, I am usually in Nitpick Mode) when I could be starting off the episode simply happy to see the wonderful Lucca Quinn.

Lucca’s in court arguing a case about filming in Chicago. We saw this client earlier in the season—he’s the one who thought Lucca kept needing to use the bathroom.

Lucca and opposing counsel are standing really close to each other and I don’t know why.

Maia’s on this case now, too.

Lucca stops mid-sentence because… she’s going into labor! The client thinks she has to pee, then he thinks it’s a lawyerly trick (Lucca screams in pain as she says “all white facilities!!” which is hilarious).

The judge asks if Lucca needs a moment. She pretends she doesn’t, but that lasts all of a second before she screams “Yes! Yes! Recess! FUCK! Fuck!” and grabs opposing counsel to stable herself. Ah, that’s why he was standing so close to her.

Now Maia’s speeding through the city, with Lucca in the passenger seat with her legs up. Lucca complains about all the cases she’d planned to work on this week as Maia frantically pushes buttons on a cellphone. Bluetooth, Maia. Use Bluetooth and then you can keep both hands on the wheel and look at the road.

Maia has, and is using, Lucca’s phone, and Lucca doesn’t know it. Does Lucca not have a passcode?

Maia calls Colin and instead gets Francesca because I guess Lucca’s number for Colin is not his cell but rather… his mom’s house? But I don’t care, because Francesca is in the practice of answering her home phone with, “Morello Residence, Down with Trump.” I know Colin’s not going to be a regular next season, but can we keep Francesca around as a guest star?

Francesca is shocked that Lucca’s in labor because she thought they were inducing in two weeks. Yes. Because babies always arrive exactly when you schedule them.

Next, Lucca wants to call Diane.

When Diane tells Julius that Lucca’s in labor, Marissa overhears and freaks out.

“Listen, can you take Lucca’s place on the Violence Committee?” Diane asks Julius. (Not going to find another associate to do it? Only a partner? I guess Lucca is doing very well.)

“No! I have to get to the hospital,” Marissa replies before Julius can say anything. This is so Marissa—thinking a question that is OBVIOUSLY not directed at her would be directed at her. “Not you! She means me,” Julius corrects, but Marissa’s already run off.

When did Marissa and Lucca become so close? I know Marissa/Maia/Lucca kind of have a Workplace Friendship Trio thing going, but I feel like we’ve had a lot of Marissa/Maia and a lot of Maia/Lucca, and not as much Marissa/Lucca. I’m accepting it only because I like the idea of the Workplace Friendship Trio and if the show wants to give me Marissa/Lucca scenes, it can go right ahead.

Diane, meanwhile, is being interviewed by FBI agents, one of whom is the Gravedigger from Bones/Rhonda Pearlman from The Wire. At first, it seems like a standard background check, since Kurt’s applying for a position with the FBI. But they seem to be fishing for something related to people who’ve spent the night at Diane’s apartment.

In the last 6 months, Maia spent a few days at Diane’s apartment during the scandal. What? Not only does that timeline not make sense, but shouldn’t we have seen it if Maia was staying with Diane instead of living behind a clock during the scandal? I’m more upset we were denied that than I am about the timeline. This season—and last season—needed more Diane/Maia scenes to make Maia’s presence feel necessary and believable.

As soon as the agents leave, the score from 6x01 kicks in and suddenly I’m having lots of Cary Agos feelings. Diane walks slowly down the hallway, caught up in her thoughts.

“Hey. Is Lucca really giving birth?” Liz stops her, overjoyed. Awww!

Diane asks Liz if she has a minute. She explains her situation with the FBI, says she’s worried about one of her answers, and then does that thing people on this show do where they exchange a dollar to hire a colleague as a lawyer. Then Diane tells Liz she’s worried about someone else who stayed overnight: Tully.

Diane calls the FBI agent and mentions other people who stayed in her apartment, then sneaks in Tully’s name.

LMAOOOOO GUYS THERE IS WHAT APPEARS TO BE A PORTRAIT OF COMEY IN THE BACKGROUND OF THIS SCENE AND HE HAS DEVIL HORNS AND AN EYEPATCH LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL

“You’re fine,” Liz tells Diane when she hangs up. Diane isn’t so sure.

A man talks directly into the camera. “Kill all lawyers. That’s been the anthem for six months of copycat killers and assaulters. Well, today that ends,” he says. That’s a little meta. He’s talking to Adrian and Julius, so I guess this is the violence committee that Lucca was meant to be on and now I wish we’d gotten to see it with Lucca.

The mayor’s put together a committee to address this. Apparently, the best people are on the committee. They’ll get to spend ten million dollars. When Adrian and Julius walk into the room, it’s not what they’d expect. It’s Trump Appointee Trig (incompetent judge), Mr. Elk (whose name is Ted Willoughby but I will forever call him Mr. Elk because of the time he said, “things of that elk”), and… wait for it… the Peter Florrick loving drama teacher. This show has never met a guest star it didn’t want to bring back. (Well, I suppose that’s a lie: there’s always Nick Savarese.)

Mr. Elk is now on Fox News, which doesn’t make sense given that he was introduced as someone who would be friendly towards the Florricks, but does make sense given… well, HIM.

Adrian and Julius quickly realize they’re in a room with a bunch of idiots, and they don’t mince words in saying so. Adrian literally calls them “functioning idiots”, which they are. (The drama teacher is the smartest of the three.)

Adrian’s advised to just go with it and persuade them.

Marissa runs through the hospital trying to find Lucca. When she arrives, Maia is on the phone with Colin, Francesca wants to know how Colin’s doing (no sense of urgency…), and Lucca wants drugs. Marissa cannot figure out how to use a door.

Colin’s now on his way to the airport. He swears out of frustration with the fact he’s not there. “God, it’s good to hear someone swear, other than me,” Lucca replies. “FUCKING HELL,” she exclaims in pain.

“COCKSUCKER!” Francesca replies. Maia, Marissa, and Lucca stare at her. “MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER!” Marissa joins in. “Fucking asshole!” Maia says (she’s more hesitant than the others). Then they all start screaming cuss words and this is why streaming services exist, guys. To bring us hilarious scenes where women in maternity wards scream vulgarities at the top of their lungs.

Kurt’s being interviewed by the FBI next. First question is about the Rindell fund. Second is about the neighbor who spent the night. Third is Tully. They make a point of mentioning he stayed overnight. “Does this apartment have more than one bedroom?” they ask. Oof. They aren’t even trying to be subtle.

Diane’s at aikido and she has a missed call from Kurt and a mysterious letter in her bag. “Conspiracy carries a life sentence. If you want my help, leave a flower pot in your office window and I’ll meet you at your parking space,” it reads.

Diane asks Liz if she’s noticed the Trump mask people. “They dance, and have sex wearing Trump masks.” Liz doesn’t believe her. “I think that’s an insurance firm,” she laughs. Who knows, these days? (That’s the point!)

Then the phone rings. FBI again. They want to ask Diane a question in person.

The FBI agents aren’t thrilled to see that Diane’s brought along a lawyer. “This isn’t adversarial,” one says. Right. That’s what they always say.

Their question: Tully’s made threats against the president and wants to know what Diane knows. They won’t reveal their sources. And they’ve subpoenaed Diane to testify at a grand jury.

Back at the office, Diane picks up a vase of flowers and the camera follows it to the window. Once Diane sets down the vase, it morphs into the vase from the credits. Of course it does. Robert King directed this episode. (This isn’t as awesome as the graphic match in 5x01 (Alicia in profile) but it’s still pretty damn cool.)

The cast list for this episode is insanely fantastic.

The violence committee is exactly as farcical as you’d expect. Killer bees, fake news, a rendition of Annie Get Your Gun with puppies instead of guns… yeah.

Adrian’s idea: a gun buyback program. No one understands this (except maybe Julius). Trig instead wants an “I HEART LAWYERS” ad campaign. Oh my. Mr. Elk suggests a jingle, and No 1 Florrick Fan begins to sing. “I love lawyers. They’re employers.”

There’s calming music playing in Lucca’s hospital room now, but it’s not working. Oh, and Lucca’s mom’s on her way. Francesca’s excited to meet Lucca’s mother, and Lucca’s not at all excited.

Maia tries to change the subject to make Lucca feel better, and Marissa provides a new discussion topic: Lucca moving to D.C. Lucca says she’s not sure she’s going and Francesca acts like it’s a done deal.

Diane goes to her parking spot for her secret meeting. Her new friend announces herself with a ringtone that goes “Fuzzy fuzzy cute cute” because… the Kings wrote this episode.

Diane’s new friend—a young, well-dressed blonde—tells her she’s being targeted because of her firm’s involvement with the impeachment suit and the pee-pee tape. (Side note, I discovered a few days ago that two of my friends had never heard of the pee tape???? Sometimes I think I underestimate just how niche the audience for some of the jokes on TGW/F is.)

“So, what do I call you? Deep Throat?” Diane asks. “No, I don’t do deep throat. Just double penetration and girl-on-girl,” she replies. BWAH. “You’re a porn star?” Diane asks. “I direct now,” she replies. Diane starts to turn away, but New Friend has a point. Trump is terrified of her, and she’s covered by an NDA. “Follow the women,” she advises. The women are the weaknesses of powerful men. Diane looks around and she’s gone. Only not really, because she’s just made her exit to the wrong side of the parking garage and has to double back. Heh.

Liz finds Diane’s mysterious encounter hard to believe. “I know. I’ve spend the last six months in a haze of not knowing what was crazy and what was not. I still don’t know,” Diane states.

Jay shows up, asks about Lucca, and then switches over to helping Diane (continuity is good). Diane notes that the same prosecutor (though I thought he was an ICE agent last ep?) who tried to deport Jay is working on this. Looks like RBL is a target.

Jay’s task is to follow the women.

Tully pulls Diane aside before she testifies and gives her more talk about being rebellious. “Everything I said I am proud of,” Tully offers as an explanation for why he waived attorney-client privilege. The thing about people like Tully—and I don’t mean this because Tully is a radical but rather because Tully is an entitled asshole—is that they don’t care how their actions affect others. Does he care he’s making Diane’s life difficult? Nope.

“Now go give ‘em hell, gorgeous,” Tully says in closing. Adding “gorgeous” really endears me to him. (Just kidding, it makes me loathe him even more!)

Is there some sort of symbolism to Diane’s last name being Lockhart while the prosecutor’s is Basehart? Some kind of doubleing thing?

Diane puts on her Grand Jury face, but it doesn’t work for long because Tully is the worst and also surveillance is everywhere… including Diane’s bedroom. The prosecutor has a recording of Diane and Tully’s conversation about loaded guns from a few episodes back.

And it looks quite incriminating. Diane is pissed. She accuses Tully of taping it, and Tully says Diane has been bugged. Maybe they were listening through her cell phone like they used to listen to Alicia! This is Diane’s next thought too—maybe not the Alicia part, but the phone part—and she destroys her phone’s SIM card.

Jay thinks he’s found a woman to follow. It’s a good start.

“Is this the plan? Blackmailing him?” Liz wants to know. “Yes. Why?” Diane responds like it’s nothing. “Well, it just seems a little sleazy,” Liz warns. Aren’t you the one who suggested making up lies to impeach Trump? (I do not mind Liz being contradictory, because the very first thing we learned about Liz way back in season four of Wife is that she is very good at justifying the things she does while believing everyone else is in the wrong. This isn’t a strategy she concocted, of course she’d question it.) (Also it is sleazy. But not too much sleazier than other things that’ve happened on this show.)

“They’re out to destroy us. If ever there was a time for situational ethics, it’s now,” Diane adds. Did anyone else feel like this episode was dramatic but also not the most dramatic despite how high the stakes are? Maybe it’s just nine years of this or the lack of build-up to this episode or the fact that situational ethics are the bread and butter of this show. (Situational “ethics” perhaps because sometimes… yeah.)

Here’s a fun thought-starter: Imagine a The Good Fight/Wife crossover with The Good Place. Specifically, imagine how Chidi would react to this (or, honestly, any episode).

So I just mentioned lack of build-up, and I didn’t mean that (necessarily) as a bad thing because I think thematically the season was building towards this, and Tully’s been annoying me with his presence since episode 4. On the other hand, the stakes get very high very fast and that never makes it easy to fully understand and embrace just how bad things might be. A fast-paced episode of twists and turns is exhilarating to watch but it never makes me think about just how much all of this would weigh on a person. I’m not really thinking, “wow what would happen if Diane goes to jail” because I doubt that will happen, and I’m not really thinking about how Diane would experience this. Instead I’m thinking about ethics and how often powerful men are skeezeballs and surveillance. And I think the writers are probably more interested in those topics than they are in Diane.

I dunno, maybe it’s just me and my attachment to Alicia Florrick, but I just can’t get inside the minds of any of the TGF characters for more than a few minutes. Diane has been hard to read this season, for me, because so much of her plot is more the Kings reflecting on Trump than an arc for her (and the writers really wasted what was a good arc for her in season 1). Maia’s not interesting enough to spend time analyzing—she’s not inconsistent but I just do not care about her other than to insist that she spend more time working. Lucca and Liz are, I think, the characters I’ve found the most compelling this year… but I want to see more. 

What I loved most about The Good Wife was (obviously) Alicia’s journey. I was attached to the other characters, too, but not in the way I was attached to Alicia. And that was fine, because they were supporting characters who got just enough development that I could analyze their character arcs without feeling they were under-developed. And I LOVED the world TGW built and the questions it posed about structures and politics and technology and the present day. I still love that world.

I guess where I’m going with this is that TGF gives me a lot of things I love—mainly more of the TGW characters and world but adjusted for the Trump era—but it doesn’t deliver the same kind of character development. That’s fine. I don’t need TGF to have an Alicia; it’s a different show focused on an ensemble rather than one lead. I still love The Good Fight a lot and I think it’s great television. I just don’t feel the same connection to it that I felt to Wife.

I have no idea how I ended up on this topic. But I think where I’m going with this is that it would never take me three weeks to write a recap of even the most boring TGW episode, and I’ve been putting off writing this. I feel like I have much less to say about Fight than Wife, and most of the times I get carried away writing things that aren’t rants about Maia are times when I’m comparing the shows or… talking about Alicia, a character who was mentioned a total of one time in season 2. I’m sure part of this is that I’ve changed (when Wife was on, I was in college with lots of pockets of free time, a pretty small social life, a much more active fandom to participate in, etc.; now I work full time and don’t always feel like writing long recaps after a long day of work (and I also rarely start up my personal laptop anymore now that I don’t have to write papers), I have friends I see frequently, fandom is like four or five people these days), but I think most of it is that the show isn’t delivering the thing that motivated me to start writing these long-ass recaps.

… and another week has passed. How am I not finished with this yet?

The FBI agents are back for Kurt, along with Basehart. I’m distracted by two things in this scene: the flowers on the trees outside, because they look enough like cherry blossoms to remind me of BrainDead, and the fact that Alicia’s teal box with the white dots on it is for some reason in Diane’s living room. DON’T THINK I DIDN’T NOTICE.

The agents want to know about a gun that Kurt gave to Diane. Kurt, instead of answering, stands up and says “I have no more answers for you.” “Your wife is about to be indicted,” Basehart says. That’s new.

“I don’t like to swear, so understand this is purely for emphasis: Get the fuck out of our house. No. I mean it. Get the fuck out of our house,” Kurt yells at Basehart. Hee.

Kurt phones Diane, and Diane heads home.

In the Violence Prevention Committee, Mr. Elk is showing the others a clip from his show that I’ll call Elk & Friends. He explains that on Elk & Friends they’re told to address Trump because he watches.

Adrian’s almost convinced Florrick Fan to vote with him when Rahm’s advisor guy whose name I’ve forgotten because I started writing this a month ago adds someone new to the panel: a woman who works for the NRA. L O L

Lucca’s doctor arrives at the hospital looking for Lucca’s room. Francesca immediately hugs her, assuming that any black woman looking for Lucca must be Lucca’s mother. “I was just wondering whether your family is from Tanzania or Nigeria,” Francesca says as a greeting, which… oof. “I just got back from a luxury safari in Tanzania,” she adds. Of course she did.

“Here she is, safe and sound!” Francesca loudly announces to Lucca, Marissa, Maia, and… the woman who actually is Lucca’s mother. That’s when Lucca’s doctor finally has an opportunity to introduce herself.

“Oh! You’re not Lucca’s mom?” Francesca asks. “No, that’s me,” Deirdre Quinn says. They got Judith Light to play Lucca’s mom. This show has the best casting. “I don’t think I understand,” Francesca says because she does not understand that it is possible to be biracial.

“Put her out of her misery, mom,” Lucca chimes in. “Danny, we have someone who needs visual evidence,” Deirdre snarks. You can tell this has happened before.

“Hi. Danny Quinn,” Lucca’s father (who is black) introduces himself. “Now I see the resemblance!” Francesca responds because her default mode is casually racist. “I mean, not that there needed to be a resemblance,” she adds.

The doctor asks for some people to leave the room, so Maia and Marissa head back to work. (The captions identify Maia as saying “we have to get back to work” but, fittingly, it’s actually Marissa who says it.)

“Fuck!” Lucca exclaims, and Francesca dives right back in to screaming MOTHERFUCKER even though the only people who understand what she’s doing have already left. I love Francesca. She would drive me crazy. But she is so amusing.

Julius is on Adrian’s side in the Violence Prevention Committee. How long is it before Julius becomes a liberal?

NRA Lady insists that the problem isn’t just guns: a lawyer was also killed in a hit and run. “Majority were shot,” Adrian notes. NRA Lady says she likes the ad campaign but she wants to spend the money to arm and train lawyers. OF FUCKING COURSE SHE DOES, SHE WORKS FOR THE GODDAMN NRA.

NRA Lady has a video to show the men on the panel. It’s a woman in a bikini with a gun. Great point. Trig, Mr. Elk, and Florrick Fan all stand up to watch the informative video. “It was a very hot day, so they had to make do,” NRA Lady adds.

She also has a bullet proof briefcase, which totally would’ve helped Adrian… not. UGH.

At their apartment, Diane warns Kurt not to talk. They turn on loud music and Diane whispers to Kurt, “I think I’m being bugged.” They decide to talk on the computer instead. I would maybe opt for pen and paper here?

“FBI says you will be indicted.” Kurt writes. Diane takes the keyboard: “Grand jury questioning me again in one hour.” Kurt: “They asked me about your gun.” Diane: “What did you say?” Kurt: “Go to hell.” Diane: “I want to fuck you right now”.

UGH I LOVE THEM A LOT AND KURT NEVER CHEATED THAT NONSENSE DIDN’T HAPPEN BECAUSE LOOK AT HOW GOOD THEY ARE TOGETHER.

“Kurt. They may ask you about someone named Tully,” Diane says later, in bed. Doesn’t Kurt already know about Tully? Didn’t they discuss Tully by name two episodes ago? “I need to tell you…” Diane adds. Kurt says no, she doesn’t need to tell him because they’re starting over. Yes, please.

“Epidural. Epidural,” Lucca can’t stop saying. “Those are pretty words.” Her dad corrects her: it’s one word. Heh.

“Are you and mom intentionally not fighting because of me?” Lucca asks, and suddenly I understand a lot more about Lucca’s life. “No, we don’t fight anymore,” her dad responds. “Why’s that?” Lucca asks. Her dad deflects and instead chooses to focus on how Lucca helped Dominic. “That was a bad segue,” Lucca remarks. But she changes the subject, too.

Outside of the room, Francesca and Deirdre are discussing Colin and Lucca’s relationship. “So they’re not getting married?” Deirdre asks. Francesca confirms that they’re not, but “it’s a different time.” “Why is that?” Deirdre asks. Francesca thinks (and I agree) that Deirdre is just looking to fight.

Deirdre is not without her reasons: Francesca immediately asked Deirdre her opinion on Black Panther and sang a Tanzanian song. Francesca remains clueless and asks Deirdre if she’s seen Get Out.

Back at the grand jury, Diane’s asked about her gun. She says she had it melted down after Adrian was shot, and adds that she wanted nothing to do with guns. “I saw what one did to my partner.” (Which partner do you mean, Diane?)

Next question is about representing the DNC, and if Diane argued for the violent overthrow of the government, complete with a recording of 2x07. (No, Maia’s sex tape isn’t mentioned in this episode. Maybe in five seasons.) (While I’m on that note, have I mentioned that I don’t think we need to hear about the tape to hear about Maia’s relationship? I don’t really care if there’s a tape we never hear about again… I’m much more upset that Maia cheated and that was the last thing we got to know about her relationship.)

Liz informs Ruth about the leaked recording. Ruth isn’t surprised. (Ruth is SO good on TGF.) In fact, Ruth was the one who leaked the tape because she’s playing the long-game. She’s basically making an example of Diane in order to show the DNC isn’t biased.

“You fucked her!” Liz accuses. “No, we acted responsibly,” Ruth argues (ummm). “She fucked herself. I’m sorry for your friend, Liz, but I want to win. The Democrats need to stop being such pussies. We have to win.” Ouch.

Colin finally gets to the hospital! Just in time! “Where’s the epidural?” Lucca’s asking. The doctor explains they’ve curbed the effect because it’s time to push. “You motherfucker! You bring the drugs back!” Lucca screams. Hehe. “You cocksucking asshole!” Francesca chimes in. I bet Lucca’s son’s first word is going to be “fuck.” And I don’t think Lucca will mind if it is.

Apparently Lucca’s family is religious, or at least Francesca has reason to believe that.

Oh, yes, they are: Lucca’s mom wants the baby to be baptized and has chosen now to tell Francesca. Colin jumps into action and kicks the parents out.

And Lucca doesn’t seem opposed to the idea of a baptism either, which caught me by surprise (I assumed she was an atheist) but doesn’t really sound too off.

The partners are waiting up to hear if Lucca’s given birth yet. It’s been 14 hours of labor. Why are they waiting for a phone call that might not even come that night? Why would they even expect to be notified the minute the baby was born and not the next day?

Either (a) No one at the firm ever has children so this is a huge event or (b) Lucca’s an extremely important employee. I’m hoping option b is the explanation here.

Marissa and Jay are still working—it’s gotta be midnight by now; maybe the partners are gathered because of Diane’s legal trouble and are also expecting a call from Lucca? Sorry, I am stuck on this. After the way the partners reacted to Lucca’s pregnancy earlier in the season, I would not expect this kind of reaction from them.

Anyway, Marissa and Jay followed the women and found out that Basehart is a good guy (or at least was being a good guy when he helped the pretty young blonde).

The phone rings. Adrian answers. It’s Colin. “Lucca wanted me to call you and tell you that… we have a son.” Congratulations, Lucca!!!! (And Colin lol. I am reading this over and I have realized I congratulated Lucca and not Colin.)

Lucca and Colin’s son, Joseph Quinn-Morello, was born at 1:15 am. Awwwww.

The partners toast to Joseph, and to the future. “May he make a change for a better world,” Diane says. “God knows we need it,” Liz adds. I still don’t buy that this is happening but it’s so sweet I’ll set aside the nitpicking. This scene also contains continuity (I think it’s later that someone comments the champagne is left over from the poorly attended party in 2x04) so yay!

Colin and Lucca discuss how crazy their parents are. “I don’t think I’ll like DC,” Lucca says next. “Give it a year and I bet you will,” Colin says. Lucca doesn’t respond, but she’s not convinced.

The bottle of champagne is gone and Adrian suggests going home. “You know, a year ago… we were looking out at a blacked-out Chicago and I was depressed, and you said to me that the only constant that we have is the law. We’re not a country of men and women; we’re a country of laws. Do you still believe that?” Diane asks. “Yes,” Adrian replies. “That took you a while,” Diane comments. “It’s been a very odd year, Diane,” Adrian says as Liz takes a seat and joins the conversation. (I guess Julius went home to his, er, SIX CHILDREN).

“Yesterday I read that an undocumented pregnant woman was sent back to the country where she was born. There were death threats against her there, and within six months, she was murdered. It was the law to deport her, but, I mean, it wasn’t…” Diane remarks. “Just,” Liz finishes her sentence. “Exactly. What does it matter if we’re a country of laws if the laws aren’t just?” Diane wonders. “What option do we have?” Adrian asks. “Placing justice above the law?” Liz suggests. “Doesn’t justice define the law?” Adrian counters. “Mmmhmm. Conscience does. It has to,” Liz replies. “So then… it’s okay to break the law?” Adrian wonders. Liz and Diane consider this. “If it offends your conscience, yeah,” Liz concludes.

SO MUCH to unpack here. None of these are ideas we haven’t heard before from this show, but they’re coming together in new ways. Diane is well aware that the law is not always just. She’s counted on that to win cases. Wasn’t she always telling Alicia in the early seasons that they follow the law? That their duty is to represent their clients blah blah blah? But she didn’t find it to be a moral offense then—just part of the job. But now Diane questions the structures. I don’t think many of us thought that our systems could fail in the way they’re starting to. And I don’t think many of us were aware of how backwards some of our laws are. Certainly, The Good Wife often hit on that theme (remember how the NSA came to listen to all of Peter Florrick’s calls because Nisa once left a voicemail in tears on the Florrick family’s answering machine?). But there’s a difference between encountering instances of unjust laws and realizing (or coming to feel) that the entire system is unjust. I am not sure if I completely agree with Diane and Liz, but I understand where they’re coming from and why their positions have changed.

(I say changed because I don’t think either Diane or Liz would’ve ever talked like this pre-45. But I do think Liz especially felt this way before. The ends justify the means, and all that.)

(Also, “an odd year” (or “a weird year”) is a line that has been uttered like twenty times on this show. And the idea of ignoring rules that you find unjust is something Alicia LOVED to do, albeit in a different context. I could expand on that comment but then I’d end up writing an essay on Alicia Florrick’s morality, which has nothing to do with the discussion Diane/Liz/Adrian are having and nothing to do with the current political moment.)

One more thing on this scene: I love that Liz is included!!! Liz has worked so well as an addition to this cast.

Diane gets an idea: Lying. She asks Adrian to give Ted Willoughby some scoop at the next committee meeting

NRA lady gets her way (ugh), but Adrian agrees to write the proposal, thinking no one from the committee will actually read it so he can just write his own policies. This seems dangerous, but alright.

Then Adrian slips Mr. Elk the scoop. He knows it’s false, but leaks it anyway to help Diane. I know this is the result of a conversation about ethics and lying, but no one’s lying in court AND this is reminiscent of so many other manipulations on TGW/F that I’m not really sure it feels as monumental as it seems? I’m 99.9% sure Diane’s done stuff like this just to win cases. And if Diane hasn’t, Will definitely did. Isn’t it a very common strategy (on this show) to suggest in court that affairs there’s no evidence of were going on? And didn’t they literally create fake news to sway a jury twice this season? I don’t even have to go back more than a couple of episodes to find an example!  

Lucca’s heading home from the hospital. “So, Colin, huh,” her mom says. “Well that sounds critical,” Lucca replies. “No. He just seems a little more white bread than your usual guys,” her mom observes. Lucca calls him a good guy, and her mom is like, but he wasn’t here when you were in labor. YEAH. TWO WEEKS EARLY. OF ALL THE THINGS TO HOLD AGAINST COLIN WHY THIS ONE?

“I’m going to give you some advice, Lucca. It’s the garage door test. My mom gave it to me, and I’m going to give it to you. Now, if you want to know if a relationship is working, when you drive home from work and you open the garage door, are you happy when you see his car parked there, or are you disappointed?” Deirdre says. “I live in an apartment,” Lucca retorts. “Don’t be contentious. If you see his car parked on the street, are you happy or sad? Do you want to come home and be alone or be with him?” Deirdre continues.

“Mama, I don’t like coming home and seeing anybody there, ever,” Lucca explains. “Well, then there’s your answer,” Deirdre says. “What? That I should be alone for the rest of my life?” Lucca wonders. “No. Wait until you’re happy to see someone’s car,” Deirdre explains. Good advice. And I bet Lucca’s heard it before, because it’s the exact same advice she gives Alicia in the TGW series finale. (I’m not upset that Lucca’s mom is giving her advice she herself has given to others before. I think it makes sense. She had to get that idea from somewhere, and her mom’s probably talked like this many times before, just not directly to Lucca.)

“Are you and dad getting divorced?” Lucca switches the topic. Deirdre’s silence is all the answer she needs. “I love you,” Deirdre says.

On the drive back from the hospital, Lucca looks sad. She’s lost in thought, and she’s realized at once that she’s not with the person she wants to spend her future with and her parents are splitting up.

Colin tells Lucca that Maia and Marissa want to stop by. Lucca smiles at that. And, indeed, there they are, in Maia’s car (just in case it wasn’t clear that they’re the ones happy to come home to!). “I can get rid of them fast,” Colin offers. “No! I want them here,” Lucca decides. “I just realized I want them here,” she says to herself. YES! YES YES YES!

I’m much more invested in Lucca’s friendships than in her romantic relationships. One of the first things we learned about Lucca was that she didn’t have friends, and it means a lot that she’s finally found people who make her happy. Friendships can be fulfilling. Not everyone needs a romantic relationship to be happy, and I love that the show is finally acknowledging this. The idea of a life without a romantic partner that’s still happy and fulfilling isn’t really one Wife ever allowed Alicia to explore for long (if at all), and I’m glad to see that Fight has given its most guarded character the chance to realize there are different paths to happiness. Wife did allow Diane to have a fulfilling life before Kurt came along, but there’s a difference, I feel, between starting off a character in that spot and having a character actively choose friends over a relationship.

(Yes, I’m still bitter that the TGW finale spent so much time having Alicia choose among Peter, Jason, and somehow inexplicably Will when she could’ve chosen herself or her friendship with Lucca. The TGW finale sidelines Lucca when I think it should’ve doubled down on the importance of her friendship with Alicia—which, tbh, I bought a hundred million times more than any of Alicia’s romantic feelings towards Jason.)

Mr. Elk runs the story—we see Diane watching it. Also on the Ted & Friends homepage? “Darkness Before Noon Season Finale Flops.” If I squint, I can read some of the text of the article: “The ??? ??? (highly literal? Liberal??) streaming show found it’s [sic] season finale to be a ratings failure, despite the streaming service not releasing ratings. Inside sources claim the show is on the bubble.” Soooooooo the writers didn’t know if they were getting a season 3, is what I’m getting. Sneaky.

(ALWAYS READ THE TEXT THAT’S ON SCREEN BECAUSE YOU’LL GET SNARK AND ALSO DELICIOUS LINGUISTICS.)

One of the hosts suggests that the president fire Basehart. Diane and Liz smile. Diane moves the flower pot back to the window: “This past month, I’ve been feeling at peace and in control. And I realized that’s not enough. Because people are out to get me. It’s time to fight.”

Soooo the case against Diane is wrapped up if you want it to be and open if you don’t, and there’s a suggested arc for season 3 if you want there to be (a more rebellious Diane). This is classic season-or-series finale writing. If the show stopped here, with Lucca choosing her friends and then Diane declaring “it’s time to fight,” it might not be the best ending but it would feel like an ending. But if the show goes on from here, there are still stories to tell. Between that Darkness Before Noon article and the way the end of this episode feels, I would bet that the Kings didn’t know if the show would be renewed when they wrote this episode.

The closing shot of the season is all of the partners going into a meeting while a computer plays a clip announcing that Kill All Lawyers has given way to Kill All Reporters. Y’all, this is pretty much how they ended BrainDead: suggesting that the main arc was concluded (bugs eating brains of politicians) but there could be more to come (bugs on Wall Street). To end TGF, though, we get an ominous clip of Trump referring to an upcoming “storm.” I don’t know what to say about that, but it’s terrifying!

I’m sure I’ve said this before, but season 2 of TGF feels, at times, more like BrainDead than The Good Wife, and that’s a good thing. I’m eager to rewatch BrainDead. I have a feeling it’ll play differently now than it did in summer 2016.

One final thought: Have you guys heard of something called Trumpy Bear? The other day, I was watching an episode of Younger On Demand, when all of the sudden, what looked like an ad for religious programming came on. “A storm is coming. You cannot defeat the storm. I am the storm. The great American grizzly,” it began. (I think this is a reference to the same quote the TGF finale ended on!) Then confetti poured down the screen. Turns out this wasn’t an ad for a religious show: it was an ad for a stuffed bear with Trump’s hairdo. The bear contains an American flag blanket. The ad shows a bunch of white people cuddling with the bear, taking it golfing, and brushing its hair. I swear to you I did not make this up. You can go on YouTube and find ads for this. It really exists.

But it took me at least fifteen minutes to acknowledge that I hadn’t accidentally taken some of Diane’s psilocybin and hallucinated it. I rewound the program and took a video on my phone. I sent the video or a link to the infomercial (once I found it) to at least ten people. I needed others to tell me this was real because I was staring at the screen in disbelief. When I sent it to some people, I made the TGF reference. To others, I just said, “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?” and three people (100% of the TGF viewers I sent it to without the upfront joke) replied with their own TGF references.

My point here? The Kings are on to something. This season of TGF captured exactly how it feels to be living through these times.

Also, I still need people to tell me that teddy bear is real. I am SCARRED. 

[ruinedbygaysstylinson]

hi there! i'm still somewhat new to this fandom but i'm familiar with bg and everything so i'm just wondering why people believe that liam is also stunting with cheryl? is he believed to be gay as well and this relationship with her and his baby is just another cover up? like i understand why people believe louis isn't really a dad but i don't see as much regarding liam? can you try and explain this??

Hi Nonnie!

First of all, welcome to the fandom. It’s a mess, but it’s our mess lol

I’m gonna be honest, when I first got this ask I had no clue where to start explaining just how fake Chiam is, and I wish I had a textbook answer for you. The best way I can put it is that literally everything about it makes no sense logically. None of it. Prepare for a lot of rambling.

Not sure how into the fandom you are, but if you’ve heard of RBB/SBB, they foreshadowed Chiam on Liam’s bday in 2015 at a show, using toothpaste labeled “Colegate” which is a nod to her first marriage, and the original babygate which had been labeled a couple months earlier.

As far as timelines go, Sophiam ended late October 2015. Charcole actually got married for the second time in mid 2014, and while her and her husband seperated in late 2015, they both wore their wedding rings into 2016, despite the fact that later it was hinted that Chiam began at the XF final in 2015. Chiam was announced in the exact same way every other stunt is: via an exclusive to Dick Wattpad from the Sun. Baby rumors started a couple months later, nearly 2 full months before the date Charcole supposedly conceived. During this time, Chiam made a few public appearances, all staged red carpets or pap walks, and they were never spotted together by fans outside of these. Charcole had a baby bump months before she was pregnant, and baited the media by putting her hand over her stomach in multiple events. After she became “pregnant”, Liam basically moved to LA and lived there for her entire pregnancy. He began partying, worked on his album, and acted like a single guy for the duration with no care in the world for Charcole. What a normal thing for a dad-to-be to do. They never officially announced the pregnancy, she just turned up obviously pregnant in December 2016, and then posed for Loreal with a massive bump on a campaign released in February. Her bump changed in sizes and height throughout the pregnancy, but she went into hiding so it was difficult to actual tell what was going on, which was 100% the point. The birth was announced via a single photo of Liam with a baby, despite the fact that usually moms pose with their baby. To this day, we’ve never seen the baby’s face, and Charcole has yet to show off her pride and joy. Privacy is one thing, but this is another thing entirely. If it wasn’t for Liam babbling on, you’d have no clue she had a kid.

So what are my issues with Chiam? First of all, her association with Satan Cowbell. They are besties. Judges together on XF, and recently I found out that she’s also an executive producer. Chiam was used to promote XF in late October with probably the cringiest moment they’ve had yet. If you hate Satan because of what he did to Louis/Harry, you better be concerned that Liam “willingly” shacked up with one of his friends.

Secondly, timing. Liam was planning a solo career. It’s been his dream for over 10 years. Why on earth would he decide to settle down in the middle of trying to launch his solo career, just months after ended a long term relationship? Basically this stunt forced him to “choose” between his career and his kid, which is NOT something that a loving partner would put you through. Charcole was also married until late 2016. If she was so desperate for a baby, wouldn’t it make more sense to have it with your husband rather than a guy 10 years her junior in a completely different stage of life? She’s old but she still has time. Literally everything about this relationship was set up to fail. Also, what exactly do they have in common? They moved so quickly that Liam never had to talk about her/why they are even dating. To me, the only things they have in common are that they were both in a band (with very different experiences..) and they have a kid together. Nice.

Thirdly, Charcole’s presence in his promo. In 2014 she released an album that flopped pretty badly because she really can’t sing at all her. Her fame came from her very public relationship drama and her association with XF when it was at the height of it’s fame. Her career is pretty much over and she’s most likely desperate for anything to reverse this progression. What better way to find new fans than to try and tap into one of the largest fandoms out there? Of course, she didn’t take into account the fact that we aren’t 13 year old girls with no brains, and therefore aren’t going to blindly stan her like people did with Sofa and Elk in the past. She’s ridiculously problematic as a person (she punched a woman in the face for doing her job and got convicted for assault, admitted to attacking her ex husband, dodged taxes via a shady company that closed in 2014 right when she turned up suddenly married to JB. The list goes on and on), and from what I’ve seen her personality stinks, so why would we support her? For the most part, people either dislike her or just don’t care at all. Bummer. Liam’s promo was the only way for her to get positive news out there about herself without her doing all the talking. Unfortunately for her, Liam went overboard and now people hate her just as much, if not more, than they did before this stunt. Just to be clear: normal celebs don’t launch their careers by constantly telling stories about their kid, s/o and hyping up their accomplishments from 8 years ago.

Fourthly, body language. This is a big one. Liam’s eyes in the very first selfie of them scared me to death because he looked so upset and resigned. Literally screaming for help with his facial expression. All along, the lack of intimacy between Chiam is pretty hard to dispute. They are not comfortable together at all, and I know some media sites called them out for faking affection on red carpets when they are distant in private in May 2016. Liam was a lot better at faking it last year as well, because he’s nothing if not professional. At XF this year, it was literally painful to watch them interact, and I made a post about that when it happened. Basically, as a couple they don’t have the familiarity that they should have considering all they’ve squeezed into less than two years. Liam also doesn’t talk about her fondly at all. If you pay attention, a lot of his comments just about her are negative: she scolds him, nags him, rolls her eyes at him, dresses him (in hideous pants, someone burn those), makes all the decisions about the baby, critcizes his music, etc, but at least she was famous back when he was 15 eh? (Them meeting at 14/24 when she was married for years is just another nasty aspect. She was in a mentor role and I’m disgusted she was okay with this stunt. It’s so wrong on so many levels.) Overall she sounds pretty awful to me, and that’s just based off of the picture Liam is painting.

And finally, the saga of Conchobear. The difference between actual celebrities having babies (think Beyoncé), vs Charcole is hilarious. No one ever saw her stomach when pregnant, she hid for months before and after the birth, and low and behold she popped back up with a new face! That’s the second 1D mom to get extensive plastic surgery when she should be caring for an infant. I seriously doubt she actually was pregnant, but that’s not something I’ll go into here. Liam was out working on his career a month after the announcement, and has been travelling pretty consistently since. He’s missed multiple important holidays; for example, on Father’s Day he flew from the US to Italy for a fashion show, and then back to the US. On Conchobear’s 6 month bday, Liam went out and did interviews. Do you really think that if Liam was an actual dad, he wouldn’t make every effort and move mountains to spend as much time as possible with his firstborn son? It just doesn’t make sense with what we know about Liam’s personality. He’s responsible, and he wouldn’t put himself in this situation. What he says, what we are fed, what he does, and what we know about him as a person don’t line up at all. Liam sounds like an amazing involved dad with his tales, but he lacks a basis in basic human development; his stories are cute and so unrealistic. Thus, Liam hasn’t spent any significant time with a baby. The entire stunt has been setting up single mom!Charcole, but Liam’s team has made sure to prevent her from calling him a deadbeat via the stories. It’s hard to say he was never around when he’s gushing about the kid in every interview. He’s also gotten worse at lying recently, and I get the feeling he’s tired.

So yeah, basically every aspect of this relationship is messed up in one way or another, and I’m expecting to see Chiam end sooner rather than later. If they are both out working on material, they won’t be able to hold it together imo. There’s definitely stuff I’ve missed and if any of my mutuals/followers want to add to this feel free. This is just stuff I thought of off the top of my head.

For specific examples of some of what I’ve mentioned you can check out the Twitter thread I linked below. It has some great resources and that account in general is amazing at breaking down stunt events. I’m also gonna reblog a post comparing Chiam to Zigi (another dead fauxmance) and Hiddleswift that is pretty interesting for you to look over.

https://twitter.com/EndBabygates/status/856439540831195137

Enjoy your stay in the fandom Nonnie. If you have any specific questions or need recommendations for who to follow, shoot me a message!

[danielphowley]

Breath of the wild review

‘The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild’ is an audacious reimagining of a classic franchise.

‘The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild’ review: A new classic for a new generation

“The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild” is one of those rare games you fall in love with the moment you begin playing. Heck, you probably wouldn’t put down if it weren’t for pesky things like food, sleep and basic hygiene. That’s certainly an impressive feat for any game series, let alone one that’s three decades old. And yet here we are.

From the characters and soundtrack to the quirky humor and slick controls, “Breath of the Wild” is a “Zelda” game through and through. But it’s also an ambitious reinvention of the decades-old franchise; an outrageously huge, exceedingly gorgeous example of what Nintendo (NTDOY) can do when it brings all of its creative power to bear.

“Breath of the Wild” is one of just 10 launch games for Nintendo’s Switch, a paltry lineup for a new system. But “Breath of the Wild” is so frustratingly good, so engrossing, it’s almost worth the $360 investment ($300 for the Switch, $60 for the game). If you’re already set on getting a Switch, have a Wii U or are just a fan of the series, you need to play this game. Here’s why.

Welcome to a whole new Hyrule

Over the last 30 years, gamers have crisscrossed the kingdom of Hyrule innumerable times as the sword-swinging (and tragically mute) hero, Link. If you’ve played the biggest titles in the series — “Ocarina of Time,” “Twilight Princess,” “A Link to the Past” or the original “The Legend of Zelda” — you know your way across Hyrule Field.

Fire up “Breath of the Wild,” however, and you’ll see all of your favorite locales from the series’ past spread across a world so dauntingly large it makes “Twilight Princess’s” massive map look absolutely minuscule by comparison.

‘Breath of the Wild’s’ world is immense and teaming with life.

Your first look at “Breath of the Wild’s” take on Hyrule comes after Link awakens from a deep sleep in a large recuperation pod. Calamity Gannon has destroyed Hyrule and has been locked in a century-old struggle with Zelda, who is keeping the massive, serpentine beast from consuming the world in fire. But Link? He’s got no clue as to what’s going on. He’s been out for 100 years. I can barely remember what I did an hour ago after a 20-minute nap. So I can’t blame his amnesia.

After walking out into the daylight, you get a view of the world at your feet, and it’s stunning. Every mountain, cave and river you see can be climbed and explored as you work to recover your memories and help Zelda defeat Gannon.

“Breath of the Wild’s” landscapes span a number of regions. There are icy mountain peaks, scorched deserts, lush forests and windswept grasslands. Every stretch of land is teeming with life. Elk and wild boar occupy the forests, grasshoppers and lizards hide among the grasslands, and mountain goats climb Hyrule’s steep slopes. It’s the most lived-in, vibrant Hyrule we’ve ever seen.

Things did not go well for Hyrule 100 years ago.

Living off the land

If you’re going to survive in the world of “Breath of the Wild,” you’re going to have to live off the land. Nintendo and director Hidemaro Fujibayashi have incorporated Western-style role-playing game (RPG) sensibilities into “Breath of the Wild.” You’ll need to collect fruit and grains from the world’s vast fields and hunt your own meat to sustain yourself during your journey.

My first of many OMG moments while playing “Breath of the Wild” came when I climbed a tree shortly after Link awakened, grabbed an apple and realized that I had to cook it to ensure it provided me with a larger health boost. My second such moment came two minutes later when I chopped down that same tree with an axe and turned it into firewood.

You’ll also need to become rather proficient in cooking, as throwing together different food combinations can provide you with not only a health boost, but temporary increases to your strength, speed and defense stats, as well.

That little snow fox might look cute, but you’re going to have to make him dinner if you want to survive.

You have to scour the land for more than just food, though. Swords and shields, arrows, bows and clubs are found strewn about long-quiet battlefields or lifted from fallen enemies.

Don’t get too attached to your weapons, though. Like many modern RPGs, your items degrade the more you use them. Smash a few too many bokoblins with your favorite club, and it’ll shatter like a baseball bat snapping against a 100-mph fastball.

Once your weapon is broken, sadly, there’s no fixing it. It’s gone. That’s a bit of a bummer, as I often found myself using underpowered weapons for fear of breaking my sharpest blades. A simple repair mechanic would have fixed fix both my broken Guardian sword and my gripe with this particular issue.

The good fight

And you’ll break a LOT of weapons, because “Breath of the Wild’s” combat is as fierce and slick as it gets. Controls are tight and the camera never feels out of place.

The majority of the enemies in “Breath of the Wild’s” starting areas consist of Bokoblins, skeletons, winged-eye Keeses, the machine-like Guardians, Moblins and Lizaflos. You’ll run into a few larger boss-like enemies scattered throughout the world that will likely kill you over and over again, but they aren’t the norm.

‘Breath of the Wild’ is full of enemies with different fighting styles.

Each enemy type has a different fighting style that you’ll have to adapt to on the fly. But the beautiful thing about “Breath of the Wild” is that, like the best RPGs, there is no fixed way to beat a bad guy. “Zelda” teaches you this from the get go; should you engage the two Bokoblins standing below a cliff, or simply squish them with a boulder?

There is a wide variety of ways to take down your foes in “Breath of the Wild.” Detonate explosive barrels, catch them off guard as they sleep with a few well-placed ice arrows or – I I kid you not – throw your metal shield at them during a thunderstorm and wait for lightning to strike it and kill them. Yeah, that can happen.

The loneliness of the road

One of the more striking things about “Breath of the Wild” is how alone you feel as you explore the world’s forests and fields. Gannon’s destruction of Hyrule left only a handful of settlements unscathed. That sense of loneliness makes running into a bustling village for the first time feel like you’ve discovered a new civilization.

“Breath of the Wild” does an amazing job making its vast expanses feel consistently new, too. The landscape is littered with Trial Shrines where you can collect Spirit Orbs to expand your health or stamina (used for running, climbing and swimming). Finding these shrines becomes a kind of side quest of their own, as each contains its own unique puzzle to solve using Link’s various Runes, special abilities granted to the hero via his high-tech Sheikah Slate, which looks like a Switch without its Joy-Cons attached.

The journey can get lonely in ‘Breath of the Wild,’ making it all the more exciting when you run into a new town.

I’ve spent many, many hours running across the world of “Breath of the Wild” and still haven’t covered the entire map. Between the Trial Shrines, your main quest and the seemingly endless side quests, you can get caught up in a single quadrant of the game’s map for days at a time.

A painting come to life

To say “Breath of the Wild” is beautiful is an understatement. The game’s stylized, painted look combined with top-notch character animations and stellar real-time weather and time effects bring the world to life.

Things will get hot in ‘Breath of the Wild.’

Performance is silky smooth while playing the “Breath of the Wild” with the Switch in tablet mode. Unfortunately, I did notice some significant slowdown when running through grass-covered fields while playing in TV mode. The issue was infrequent enough to never interfere with the gameplay experience, though in the moment, it was a bit jarring. That’s a pretty minor gripe, though, ad does little to derail “Breath of the Wild’s” spectacular vision.

A classic reborn

Few video game franchises are as beloved as “The Legend of Zelda.” From the spectacular “Ocarina of Time” and “A Link to the Past” to the original “The Legend of Zelda” and “A Link Between Worlds,” there’s frankly never been a bad “Zelda” game.

That, of course, makes it hard to rank the series’ titles. Many people have emotional connections to different entries that they’ll hold onto forever. So I don’t take it lightly when I saying that “Breath of the Wild” isn’t just an all-time great console launch title, but one of the best “Zelda” games ever made.

With “Breath of the Wild,” Nintendo has built a living, breathing world that you never want to leave. If you’re a newcomer to the series, a longtime fan or just want to see what all the hype is about, you won’t be disappointed. Because “Breath of the Wild” delivers in every way you can imagine.

What’s hot: Beautifully-realized game world; tight combat controls; massive scope; innumerable ways to approach every situation

What’s not: Could use a weapons repair system; too few hours in the day to play

More games news:

‘For Honor’ review: You’ll need skill to survive this online fighter

‘Horizon: Zero Dawn’ Review: Combat and storytelling shine in spectacular sci-fi epic

The $450 Analogue Nt mini brings new life to old-school NES games

‘Resident Evil 7’ review: It’s a screaming good time

Email Daniel at dhowley@yahoo-inc.com; follow him on Twitter at @DanielHowley.

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[:nl]In Azië noemen ze tekenfilms “Animes”, deze animes zijn vooral gebaseerd op de zogeheten Manga’s wat dan weer het woord is voor stripboeken. De meest succesvolle en meest uitgebreide anime series zijn gebaseerd op de Gundams. Gundams zijn enorme vechtrobotten met een meestal menselijke piloot. De reden dat de Gundam series allemaal zo succesvol zijn is doordat deze series een geweldige diepgang hebben, het verhaal word niet beperkt tot wat er gebeurd, maar laat ook de verledens zien van de hoofd en bij personages, wat er voor zorgt dat er altijd wel een personage is met wie je je kan identificeren zodat jij je er zelf bij betrokken gaat voelen. Dit artikel gaat over Unicorn Destroy Mod gemaakt door St.Jimmy’s PC Modding.

Content:

De Unicorn Destroy Mod is gebaseerd op de Gundam Unicorn serie welke met maar een beperkt aantal afleveringen toch beladen is met prijzen, niet alleen voor het verhaal, maar ook wegens de personage ontwikkeling en tekenstijl. Het is dan ook geen verrassing dat deze serie de basis vormt waarop een Case Mod gebouwd kon worden. De Unicorn Destroy Mod is hoewel ik fan ben van veel van de Gundam series niet helemaal mijn smaak qua Case Mods. Dit weerhoudt mij er echter niet van om er toch over te schrijven want de individuele delen van deze Mod zorgen er wel voor dat ik toch aardig warm loop. Vooral de gesloten zijde vind ik erg mooi gemaakt, maar ook de watercoolings loop mag genoemd worden.

De buitenzijde van deze Unicorn heeft nagenoeg geen enkele rechte zijde meer over, elke zijde is aangepakt en in de stijl van een Gundam aangekleed. Dit houdt in dat het geheel is opgebouwd uit schijnbaar losse platen die aan de randen bij elkaar gehouden worden. In de Gundams is het hierdoor dat zij vrij kunnen bewegen zonder toch sommige delen kwetsbaar open te laten. De voor en bovenzijde zijn hier perfecte voorbeelden van, deze zijdes zijn opgebouwd uit meerdere lagen waardoor het lijkt alsof er een case in een case is geplaatst. Hierdoor krijg je een waar 3D gevoel bij deze Mod zelfs al kijk je alleen naar de foto’s.

De verlichting van deze Unicorn Destroy Mod spat letterlijk aan alle kanten uit deze Mod, de rode gloed die hierdoor ontstaat lijkt de witte platen van de buitenzijdes in vuur en vlam te zetten en laat het lijken alsof er van binnen in de Mod iets leeft. Dit effect is zeer mooi nagebootst van de Unicorn Gundam uit de series, waarin dit soort licht meestal gebruikt word om te laten zien dat de Gundam wat meer Power gebruikt. Ik had deze lichtgloed graag gezien met een “Breathing” effect, waardoor het zou lijken alsof de Mod ademt, maar dat kan ik niet terug zien op de foto’s.

De Dichte zijde van deze Mod is wellicht mijn favoriete deel van deze Unicorn Destroy Mod. Op deze zijde zijn de Sponsoren aangegeven en normaal gesproken vind ik het maar niets als er sponsoren in grote vlakken word aangegeven die naar je schreeuwen. In deze Mod zijn de Sponsoren echter weergegeven in vlakken die bijna perfect passen in de gehele stijl van de Mod waardoor zij echt onderdeel worden van het geheel. Het feit dat de hele zijde van binnen word verlicht geeft je een open gevoel terwijl het toch gaat om een dichte zijde. De dichte zijde laat een enorme rode X zien op een groot wit vlak, waarin enkel de fans van de serie het multifunctionele schild van de Gundam Unicorn zullen herkennen. Dit schild is een van de meest herkenbare gevechts onderdelen van deze Gundam en door deze hier weer te geven (op de Linker zijde/ arm van de Gundam) toont dat het hier gaat om het werk van een ware fan.

De watercoolings loop van deze Unicorn Destroy Mod mag zoals gezegd ook genoemd worden, hoewel op eerste zicht het wellicht niet zo heel speciaal zal lijken. De Grafische kaart en Processor zijn opgenomen in deze loop, en de buizen lijken allemaal naar een reservoir or radiator boven in de case te gaan. Echter worden de buizen boven in enkel door gelust en komen ze weer terug naar beneden alwaar de radiator is geplaatst. De reservoirs zijn op de achterzijde aan de buitenkant van de Case gemonteerd waardoor een heleboel ruimte van binnen overblijft om de hardware te showen.

De beide zijdes van de Unicorn Destroy Mod kunnen open, maar ook hier is weer iets speciaals achter de hand gehouden dat je op eerste zicht niet direct zal zien. Deze zijdes zijn namelijk zo gemaakt dat ze open geschoven kunnen worden naar achteren toe, alsof je een lade open schuift. Dit is een feature die je niet in heel veel Mods tegenkomt en toch wel heel erg praktisch genoemd mag worden. Dat deze zijdes er niet gewoon af gehaald moeten worden geeft aan hoeveel gedachtes en werk er in deze Mod gegaan zijn. St.Jimmy’s PC Modding heeft met deze Unicorn Destroy Mod een ware showcase gemaakt waar niet alleen de Computer Modding fans maar ook de Gundam Fans hun hart over kunnen ophalen.

Foto’s:

Links:

St.Jimmy’s PC Modding Facebook Aquatuning Europe Facebook Enermax Italia Website VGInformatica PC Gaming Torino Website VGInformatica PC Gaming Torino Facebook[:en]In Asia the call Cartoons “Animes”, these animes are mostly based on the so-called Manga’s which is the word used for comics. The most successful and most elaborate anime series are those based on Gundams. Gundams are giant fighting robot suits with usually a human pilot. The reason that the Gundam Series all become so hugely popular is because these series have an enormous depth of the story, the story doesn’t get limited to what happens, but also shows the past of the main and by characters, which ensures that there will always be at least one character to whom you can identify so you will feel more emotionally involved in the story. This article is about the Unicorn Destroy Mod made by St.Jimmy’s PC Modding.

Content:

The Unicorn Destroy Mod is based on the Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn series which has been showered in prizes despite its only limited amount of episodes, not just for the story, but also because of the character development and art style. It should not be any surprise that this series also acts as a base upon which amazing Mods can be built. The Unicorn Destroy is even though I am a fan of most of the Gundam series not entirely the type of Case Mod that I personally like best. This doesn’t stop me from writing about it anyway because it’s the individual parts of this Mod that still make my engine run hot anyway. Especially the closed side I think is brilliantly made, but the water cooling loop is also worth mentioning.

The outsides of this Unicorn doesn’t have a lot of straight sides left, each side has been worked over and got dressed in the style of a Gundam. This means the whole is built up out of seemingly loose plates which are held together at the rims. In the Gundams, this makes them able to move freely without exposing vital parts to easy attacks. The front and top side are perfect examples of this, these sides have been built up out of multiple layers making it seem as if there was a case placed into another case. This generates a true 3D look and feel which you can even sense when just looking at the photos of this Mod.

The lighting on this Unicorn Destroy literally blows out of every side of this Mod, the red glow that comes with this seems to put the white plates on the outsides a blaze and makes it seem as if there is something alive on the inside of this Mod. This effect has been very nicely re-created from the Gundam Unicorn in the series, in which this type of light is usually depicted to show when the Gundam uses a larger power. I would have loved to see this Light glow in a “breathing” effect, which would make it seem as if the Mod actually was alive, but I wouldn’t be able to see that on the photos.

The closed side of this Mod is probably my favorite part of this Unicorn Destroy Mod. On this side, the sponsors have been shown and normally I do not like it when sponsors get shown on large areas which simply scream out at you. In this Mod the sponsor names have been placed on areas which fit the overall style of the Mod which makes them an integral part of the Mod as a whole. The fact that this entire side is being lighted from the inside out gives you an open feel even if this is supposed to be the closed side. This side shows a giant red X on a large white plain, in which only the fans of the series will recognize the multifunctional shield of the Gundam Unicorn. This shield is without a doubt one of the most recognizable battle armaments of this Gundam and by placing it here (on the left side/ arm of the Gundam) this shows to be the work of a true fan.

The water cooling loop of this Unicorn Destroy Mod is worth mentioning as I’ve said earlier, even if it does not seem very special at first glance. The Graphics card and Processor are both being cooled by this loop, and the tubing all seems to go to a reservoir or radiator in the top of the case. However, in the top, the tubing just gets connected to each other and are looped back down to the bottom at the case where we can find the radiator. The reservoirs have been mounted on the outer backside of the case leaving a lot of space on the inside to show off the hardware.

Both sides of this Unicorn Destroy Mod can be opened, but even here a little something special has been kept on the wraps which you would not be able to notice at first glance. The sides have been made in such a way that they can be slid open towards the back of the case, like sliding open a drawer. This is a feature which you will not find in a lot of Mods and yet can be called quite practical. The fact that these sides do not have to be removed to open the case shows a huge amount of dedication in thought and work that has gone into this Mod. St.Jimmy’s PC Modding has created a true showcase with this Unicorn Destroy Mod about which not just the PC Modding Fans, but also the Gundam Fans might just start drooling.

Photos:

Links:

St.Jimmy’s PC Modding Facebook Aquatuning Europe Facebook Enermax Italia Website VGInformatica PC Gaming Torino Website VGInformatica PC Gaming Torino Facebook[:]

[:nl]Unicorn Destroy Mod by St.Jimmy's PC Modding[:] #aquatuning #casemod #computerdesign #custom #enermax #modding [:nl]In Azië noemen ze tekenfilms "Animes", deze animes zijn vooral gebaseerd op de zogeheten Manga's wat dan weer het woord is voor stripboeken.