#If I didn't have my essays due tomorrow too I would have started studying two days ago

[study-with-aura]

Friday, February 23, 2024

I am posting this on Saturday because H's mom needed to drop her off early since something came up on her end, so I never got the chance to post my Friday update. We had fun though. I still had my piano practice to do, so while I practiced, she worked on a few things that she needed to finish. On the other hand, she did say that my playing was beautiful, and I was elated to hear.

H also plays, but she goes back and forth between enjoying it and doing it because she wants to be done with it and her mom wants her to at least complete Level 10 and then if she wants to stop, she at least knows how to play extremely well in case she ever wants to come back to it in the future. I told H a while back when that was decided that I agreed with her Mom. It was good to at least have the knowledge as she didn't know what she would want in her future, so she plays often when she's in the mood and not often enough when she has no motivation. It works for her, so who am I to say anything?

I plan on doing ARCT and then I'll feel like I've mastered to where I want to be. I'm a completionist, and I actually do enjoy playing. It's why I'm trying to find more time. I want to finish by the time I finish my HS studies, but I also heard that I need ample time for the ARCT since it's a whole other level. If I pass my Level 9 exams, then I can start Level 10 and plan on completing that by the end 10th grade and then I would have two years to prepare for the ARCT exam. That's my plan anyway. My parents don't really care what I do as long I continue to enjoy playing. It's merely hard to find the time to practice! I can only do it by cutting short my supplemental study time, which I have done, but I don't really need a full 2-3 hours for that since I cut my reading down to only one extra book at a time instead of a supplemental book and a fun book along with assigned readings.

Am I doing too much? Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough at all.

It's time to practice again. I'll try to update about today (Saturday) a bit later.

Tasks Completed:

Geometry - Reviewed solving systems of equations graphically + reviewed equations of parallel and perpendicular lines + learned to find the distance between a point and a line + learned to find the shortest distance between two parallel lines + practice + honors work

Lit and Comp II - Reviewed Unit 16-18 vocabulary + read second part of chapter 26 of Emma by Jane Austen + read about understanding poetry + read about how to analyze poetry + read poems and marked figurative language identified + wrote a short poem using figurative language describing a scene from a photograph

Spanish 2 - Copied new vocabulary

Bible I - Read Joshua 17-18

World History - Watched lecture videos on what and why on the origins of WWI + started writing an essay describing how Balkan nationalism, entangling alliances, and militarism led to WWI (due Monday)

Biology with Lab - Finished my human impact presentation + presented to dad

PE/Health I - Read an article about resources for teen depression and stress

Foundations - Read the definition of resourcefulness + completed one minute creativity exercise + identified fallacies in stories and arguments

Piano - Practiced for two hours in one hour split sessions

Khan Academy - Completed World History Unit 6: Lesson 1 (parts 6-7) + completed High School Geometry Unit 6: Lesson 4 (parts 1-3) + Unit 6: Lesson 5 (some was assigned)

CLEP - None today

Duolingo - Studied for 15 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests

Reading - Read pages 220-259 of My Dear Henry: A Jekyll & Hyde Remix by Kalynn Bayron and finished the book

Chores - Dusted my bedroom, my bathroom, and the study + laundered my bedding

Activities of the Day:

Personal Bible Study (Matthew 28)

Ballet

Pointe

Journal/Mindfulness

-

What I’m Grateful for Today:

I am grateful to have my friends over again tonight for a sleepover to get ready for our second to last cookie booth tomorrow.

Quote of the Day:

Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us.

-Wilma Rudolph

🎧Symphony Op. 11 No. 1 in D major (Overture; 'L'amant anonyme') 1. Allegro - Joseph Bologne, Chevalier de Saint-Georges

[effervescentbee]

Just an update on my homework, I turned it in at 11:51 pm, 8 full minutes before it was due <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>

Now all I gotta do is study for my algebra, chemistry, and medical terminology test tomorrow ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

This is what I get for thinking I could handle all these advanced courses when I am chronic procrastinator

And cause I feel bad posting without it being something fandom related take stressed out miles (note that any and all stuff about miles and school is definitely me complaining about my school work)

When miles got to his dorm the first thing he did was kick off his shoes and fall face first onto the bottom bunk (I always say bottom/top bunk cause I have no idea who has which bunk Q^Q)

It had been a long day

The worst part? His day wasn't over, he still had a mountain of homework to get through. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration but it definitely felt like a mountain of homework when he sat down and stared at the pile of notebooks and folders full of assignments for each of his classes

This was always the hardest part, actually starting. Should he start with the easiest ones to give himself a bit of a break before getting into the harder ones? Or maybe he should just get the harder ones out of the way? Maybe it was smarter to start with his first period homework since it was due first?

Miles groaned as he let his head fall into his desk with a loud bang. why did this have to be so complicated?

Miles felt his phone buzz in his pocket, he should really turn his phone off unless he wants to get distracted. He pulled the device out of his pocket and nearly broke down in tears right then and there, it was a reminder that there was a test in his math class tomorrow, one he had not studied for yet

That just added to the list of work and questions of what he should do first. Now that he was aware he had a test it was probably more important to study for it then to do homework, it was worth more of his grade after all- but, he had missed so much schoolwork already and he wasn't sure if he could afford to not do the homework

Miles sighed as he pulled out his computer, he had to check his grades to make sure he could afford this, not doing the homework. He froze as he pulled up website, he really didn't want to check his grades

What if he was failing? He knew it was an unreasonable thought, just a few weeks ago he had all A's and he had been doing all the work he could and he knew he had been getting nothing but A's and B's on those, a missed day or two wasn't going to bring his grade down that bad, but what if?

Miles sucked in a sharp breath, checking his grades right now was not an option, and it wouldn't be an option until he was certain he was passing

What did that leave him with then? 7 classes worth of homework and a test to study for, all in- miles checked the time, it was 5:32

Right, 7 classes and a test in 13 hours, when he put it that way it didn't sound too bad. Miles looked through his homework, 2 worksheets, 3 packets, 1 essay, a few chapters of a book to read, and all the reviewing he had to do

Okay, he could start with math, his first period. All he had was a worksheet that would take maybe 30 minutes, then he couldn't move on to his next class and read the book, that would take him about an hour or so

The other worksheet would also take 30 minutes, each of the 3 packets would take an hour, the essay would take maybe two hours plus, and he could review for an hour at the minimum

That would all take... 8 hours at the minimum, let's move it up to 9 hours just to be safe. That left him 4 hours, he could use that time to shower and look over his work to make sure it was right. Then he couldn't go over his math notes one last time and then he'd go to class and he'll have all his work done and he'll be ready for the test

This could really work. Sure this means he has to stay up all night but it's not like it'd be the first time, besides, his parents always told him his number one concern in life should be school

With that, miles sat at the desk and began working on his homework

Just me projecting last week lol

Anyways I don't know how to tag and always use the minimal amounts so if someone could reach me that'd be great cause I suck at this

[shima-draws]

Don’t be like me and save your studying for last minute. I am extremely good at cramming and then acing the test the next day but god does it stress me out

[seacottons]

— uni with atz pt. two

notes: swearing, fluff, mildly suggestive dialogue. tags: @latte-fairytaekwoon

seonghwa — [ early edu. + developmental psych. ]

extremely organized in all aspects of his life

your bookshelf at home consists of books on developmental studies in children.

if he isn't in class or volunteering, he's either cuddling with you or reading.

stressed 24/7.

takes very pretty and neat notes.

randomly spits out facts throughout the day.

sometimes, you join him during his volunteer hours at various daycares and schools.

is all the children's favorite teacher.

extremely patient and soft-spoken when it comes to working with even the most difficult child.

also loves being called 'teacher hwa'.

"i don't know, if i were you, i would make the students call me king san."

"they'll probably end up bullying you," seonghwa replies back.

you don't know how he has the patience for the amount of children he has to take care of.

takes you picture-book shopping with him for his students.

finds himself singing nursery rhymes while cooking or cleaning.

has polaroids of you two stuck on the fridge.

brings lint rollers to work.

gets worked up in public if a parent seems too neglectful in any way.

"y/n!" he tugs at your elbow and points with his jaw to the right, "look! his kid is just spilled all that paint on the floor, and he didn't even bat an eyelash!?"

"don't intervene again, please."

"okay, but-"

the whining of metal and steel cut him off, and the two of you jump in fright at the sound of a shelf falling apart.

"some people really shouldn't have kids."

whines when he comes back home that the paint stain and glitter just won't come off his clothes no matter how many times he rubs the spots with warm water.

or how he has mulch stuck in his socks and shoes from taking the kids outdoors to play.

you somehow always end up finding a googly eye or specks of glitter under the couch.

sometimes brings home finger-paintings with numerous colorful hearts and two stick figures in the middle.

"today's assignment was to paint what makes you happy."

you also help him stitch up little felt and cotton dolls for the kids to keep.

often gets sick from working with children.

and passes it onto you by accident.

you know he's had a bad day when you ask him how it went, and his face scrunches up in pain.

stormed into your shared apartment one day and made a beeline to the bathroom.

forty minutes later, he comes out, towel wrapped around his hips, face and chest flushed, and explains that a child accidentally peed on him.

gets flustered when you laugh at his demise.

sometimes uses his teacher voice when scolding you or your mutual friends.

and you all end up teasing him more anyway.

"do you use that tone in bed too, hwa?" yeosang asks one day. mingi and yunho splutter out in disbelief, followed by loud laughter.

you choked on your bite of cake at the sudden remark.

"what did i ever do to deserve this slander," seonghwa grumbles whilst patting your back.

he often stays up late making lesson plans for both his classes and ones to implement at work as well.

takes full advantage of his teacher's discount at shops and restaurants.

sometimes brags about it to his friends to get under their skin.

"you have it easy. just watching kids and getting free food," san says one day in the middle of their game of jenga.

"it's not easy at all," you hear seonghwa reprimand the younger, and laughter rings out from the other four guests.

"you're learning about children! what's so hard-"

you had a hunch that seonghwa purposely tilted the wooden tower to tumble over an unsuspecting san.

"y/n! your boyfriend is trying to murder me!"

seonghwa paces in circles around your apartment whilst studying for an upcoming exam.

asks you to quiz him on certain materials.

"correct! okay, can you define the preoperational stag-"

"how many kids do you want to have in the future?"

"..what?"

"kids. how many do you want to have with me?" he presses further, eyes trained on your face rather intently.

"can't this conversation wait until you finish studying?"

"no. i'm too curious," he licks at his chapped lips and leans in to poke your forehead, "i need to know. this is important information. please."

yeosang — [ biology pre-med ]

met you through your mutual friend, wooyoung, who invited him to live in your shared dorm.

"you didn't tell me you have a dog?" yeosang turns to wooyoung, brow quirked up whilst pointing to the 'beware of dog' sign on one of the bedroom doors.

"oh, i don't. i just put that up to mess with y/n," wooyoung dismissively explained while making a sandwich.

is the reason why you and wooyoung haven't killed each other yet.

asked you out after five months of moving with you and wooyoung.

designated one of the kitchen's shelves as a medical supply closet.

"because wooyoung always ends up hurting himself without doing anything."

"i do not."

stress is his middle name.

constantly contemplates his life decisions.

"wooyoung! shut up! i can't finish my essay with you blabbering every damn second!"

you had to get used to the sight of a full sized anatomical skeleton in his room.

"okay, but i'm not letting you fuck me with that thing in here."

later that night, wooyoung's heart nearly burst in his chest from fright.

"yeosang! why the fuck is your skeleton in my room!?"

some nights, during dinner, yeosang slams his obnoxiously large textbooks onto the table, and insists for the two of you to quiet down while he skims over the pages a few times.

"can't you just enjoy your meal for five-"

"no. now hush."

not only does he have labs, presentations, and essays to worry about, but he also got accepted for a pre-med internship at a local hospital.

hardly goes out anymore during his free time.

most dates include cuddling on the couch or baking something in the kitchen.

stays up late at night to complete assignments.

towers of thick books decorate his nightstand.

"no, yeosang. i really don't want to see you dissecting a cat," you grimace, turning quickly and shielding your eyes from his phone.

"why not?" yeosang whines softly, hand tugging the hem of your shirt with a frown, "it's not that bad, i promise-"

he's cut off when wooyoung snatches the phone from him with a loud cry, "gross! y/n, you're letting him touch you after he touched that?! and fuck- what is that smell?"

"that's formaldehyde. now give me back my phone before i dissect you next."

you join him at the lab when he has extra work piled up.

"you look so cute with a white coat and goggles."

you prod and poke him repeatedly, asking him numerous questions about the specimens in the lab.

"y/n! don't touch that!"

one day, wooyoung comes home sick.

you insist on taking him to see a doctor, only for him to emit a haughty laugh at you.

"why would i waste my time and money when i have yeosang here?"

"but woo, he didn't even get into med-school yet-"

wooyoung insists he doesn't need to see a professional, "yeosang is practically our live-in doctor! why do you think i begged him to move in?"

you roll your eyes, calling for yeosang to persuade the younger male.

"alright, tell me your symptoms," your boyfriend sighs, plopping down onto the couch beside you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

after wooyoung explains everything and takes his own temperature, he peers at yeosang for an answer, "well?"

"you're dying," yeosang nods simply.

wooyoung's visage pales, and he scrambles to sit up on the couch with a disturbed expression.

"what?"

yeosang is always studying.

always.

studying.

you insist for him to take a break sometimes.

"i can't. i have lab tomorrow. oh, and a paper."

"but you always say that!"

you attempt to tug him out of his seat.

"come on! just for an hour, and we'll be back. promise."

he's always reluctant at first, but finds himself agreeing later anyway.

enjoys the small dates at the nearby lake probably more than you do.

mingi — [ accounting ]

a gifted genius when it comes to numbers.

is your very own math tutor.

jokingly asks you to pay him back.

he accepts kisses and hugs. baked pastries are also a bonus.

"y/n? are you okay?" a hand waves in front of your face.

you blink at him wordlessly, mind fogged from the bombardment of information you just received, "sorry- you lost me. can you repeat the process again?"

he playfully smacks your shoulder with the ruler and stomps his bare feet onto the tiled floor, "this is the third time!"

"i'm sorry! you know how i am with math!"

he begs you to take classes with him as electives.

"sorry, baby. i love you, but there's no way i'll ever take statistics."

"okay, what about economics?"

"no."

"management? business administration!?"

"no and no."

"but y/n! it'll be fun! you'll be with me!"

always whines about how much he hates having to take 'stupid management classes' and the group projects that come along with them.

"they never take the assignments seriously!"

said group visits your apartment to work on projects with mingi.

"aren't you supposed to be working on that project?"

you watch as mingi and his friends suddenly erupt in an explosive argument about the game they were currently playing.

"yeosang! what the fuck!?"

"it's y/n's fault mingi was distracted!"

you let out an indignant squawk and glare at yeosang.

"that round didn't count."

"stop being a sore loser, san!"

"so.. i take it you didn't even start?" you grimace, peering over to the untouched books and papers on the coffee table.

"it's just management class. no big deal," san explains quickly with a dismissive wave of his hand before nudging your boyfriend with a glare, "you better not make us lose this time, or i'll kidnap y/n."

stays up late to finish other work that's due.

loves to wear big spectacles when studying.

it 'helps him focus'.

writes notes on his calculator and slides it towards you while you're both home studying.

'n-3^07-!'

"mingi, what is that?"

"read it upside down, you bum."

has a coffee mug with 'i love π' in big, bold, red letters.

refuses to throw it away even though the rim is chipped.

always bugs you about how you should have a budget plan.

insists on teaching you how to make spreadsheets on excel.

"i can't do this, mingi. too much numbers give me a headache."

"do you want my lucky glasses?"

rambles on about things related to his field, and you can only nod in confusion every time.

"how does your brain keep up with all of this?"

"easy. just be one with the numbers."

"that was a bad pun.."

"you're supposed to laugh!"

mingi was that typical student who complained about studying, but is always the one acing everything with the highest score.

"i should just quit university and become a stripper."

"you say that every exam week, and yet, you always pass with the highest grades," you mumble from the other side of the couch, absentmindedly highlighting a few sentences in your book.

"yeah, but studying is a pain in the ass," he exhaled with a loud groan, head thrown back against the back of the couch, "why me, y/n?"

you roll your eyes while reaching over to pat the side of his face in comfort.

"everything will work out just fine."

later that week, he joyfully bounces into your apartment with a large grin plastered on his face, "guess what?"

you snort in amusement.

"let me take a wild guess. you aced your exam."

"and guess who has the highest score?" he tugged you forward by your cheeks with a bright grin.

"yeosang?" the cheery expression on his features suddenly vanished, causing you to laugh, "i'm kidding."

likes to study while attached to your side, wearing comfortable pajamas and warm socks.

sulks whenever his stock investments drop further than he expects.

and is always in a good mood whenever the prices spike back up.

always has a horrible math pun up his sleeve.

sends you accounting memes and becomes a gloomy mess when you don't laugh or understand the joke.

"what if i propose to you with a math problem? and we have pie instead of cake?"

"please don't bring math into our love life."

yunho — [ broadcasting journalism ]

roommates with you, hongjoong, and jongho.

is called 'newspaper boy' by hongjoong.

is well-known around campus for being one of the student journalists for the university's newspaper.

you have the very first published paper, with his full name printed on the front, framed in the hallway of your dorm.

has the prettiest hands.

and longest fingers you've ever seen.

can put them to good use.

especially when typing out essays. they're practically blurred from how swift he is.

likes to ramble about current international events to jongho early in the morning. the latter pretends to understand, giving the other false hope.

jongho always sends you a pleading look to save you from your lover.

always carries a notebook.

article deadlines = stressed yunho.

complains that his friends are 'uncultured'.

helps you with your essays.

if he has enough time, he'll actually re-write it for you.

"was it really that bad?"

"it's okay, baby. you're good at other things."

"how come you don't re-write my papers?" jongho huffs from across the living room.

"you're not y/n."

interviews you and your other roommates for his projects.

you smile from behind him as he zooms in obnoxiously close to hongjoong's disgruntled expression.

"he zoomed in on my nose again, didn't he?" the blue haired male asks you.

"sorry, but that tomato sauce stain is really distracting me."

hongjoong nearly drops his fork.

"what stain!?" he furiously rubs his face with the back of his hand, "see! i told you that you always interview us at the most inconvenient time!"

is constantly writing.

can be very unorganized.

"who took my ap stylebook!?"

"can you stop shouting? it's 6 a.m., yunho!" hongjoong growls from his bedroom.

mingi and seonghwa often visit your dorm because they're usually partnered with yunho for an assignment.

it somehow always winds up with mingi and yunho fooling around, whilst seonghwa struggles to persuade them to help him with the work.

sometimes, you tag along to help film his public social experiment projects.

is a social-bug, so people are instantly drawn to him.

likes to cuddle with you while watching the films for his assignments.

you think most of them are pretty boring, but being in his lap and tucked against his chest makes up for it.

you like to add glittery stickers onto his video camera and tripod.

is very much infatuated with you, so he doesn't mind one bit.

applied for a paid broadcasting radio station/tv internship over the summer and was quickly accepted.

asks you to help him style his hair for his first day at work.

"but it's just a radio station. no one's going to see you?" jongho questions with a perplexed expression.

"i still need to look presentable!"

and later that day you quickly hush the two males beside you once the clock strikes 2 p.m.

"quiet! yunho should be on any second now!"

"i was just breathing?" hongjoong whispers weakly.

over dinner, jongho often mimics yunho's reporting voice.

"y/n, do i really sound like that?" yunho pouts as you and hongjoong burst into fits of laughter.

"aw, don't be sad. i love your reporter voice, baby."

will wake everyone up early the next morning by yelling at the top of his lungs with his reporter voice just to get back at you three for laughing at him.

[onlymexsarah]

Imperfections (R.L)

Remus Lupin x UW!Reader (Under weight)

I read a lot of imagines with plus size readers, and i think it's something beautiful, but instead I've never read about a under weight reader, insecure of herself and her body, so here I am, with a Remus Lupin ready to cheer you up.

Prompts: “I wish you could see yourself with my eyes. So you would understand that I’m in love with you, all of you.”

Gif is mine🍃

P.s.: English is not my first language, please if you notice some mistakes let me now🥰

Also, I’m not used to write one-shots, I’m writing a book rn, this is a new experience, but I hope you like it🥺

Transfiguration, you had to study for your Transfiguration lesson. You couldn't let McGonagall find you unprepared, so you would stay in the library one more hour while your schoolmates eat their lunch, beside you weren't hungry at all.

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Asked your boyfriend standing up and looking you with hopeful eyes. Remus Lupin was the best boyfriend someone could ask for; he was clever, funny, cute and with always something to comfort you in your bad days. You haven't exactly his mind, due the fact that you always forget something about homework, lessons or Prefect's meetings; and didn't care how much time you forgot things, he would always reminder you them.

"Don't worry Rems, I'll catch you up later. Just need one more minute." You said smiling standing up to give him a soft kiss on his lips. True must be told, he didn't know that you forgot sometime to eat too, but it wasn't a big deal for you, it was a normal routine not eating to save time for studying or sleeping.

"I'll see you there, love." He smiled giving you a kiss more intense than the first one, and then you were alone looking the book in front of you studying until the last line.

An hour passed before you brought yourself in the Great Hall ready to eat. You saw Remus in the corner of your eyes waiting for you with the Marauders, but that day you weren't so hungry, and you knew that Remus would be worried for you, so you decide to sit with your housemate instead to not let Remus see your almost empty plate.

The chicken was delicious, you wanted so badly to eat more about it, but you were done with one piece, so you stand up ready to go towards your boyfriend. You didn't know what you must had done to deserve him in your life, to deserve his love. Not only he was the perfect gentleman, but he was extremely attractive, and all the girls in the school knew you picked the perfect mix that someone could find in a boy.

"You alright? You didn't seat with us." Remus whispered to you when you reached each other out of the Great Hall.

"Yes, don't worry. I had to tell Snape a thing about Potion. We are partners now." You rolled your eyes thinking about Slughorn and his idea to put you with Snape instead with Remus. 

You wanted nothing more than cuddle in Remus’ arms, those arms that made you feel protected, loved and safe. You wanted to lay with him, kiss his scars and telling him how beautiful he was, you wanted to make him see himself in the same way you saw him, because you knew how it felt avoiding the mirrors afraid of what you might see, or looking your body and see nothing else but imperfections. 

So now you two were on his bed, your face on his torso with his arm around you and the other hand in your hairs, listening his heartbeat like you would listen your favourite song. The other three Marauders left you alone, going around the school pranking people, and you were fine with it as long as you two had time for yourselves. 

“How about Christmas’ holiday? My mum are cooking turkey, with her special recipe.” said Remus looking the ceiling of his canopied roof.

“I’m not going to meet your parents. Not yet, I promised my father I will be with him this Christmas.” you tried to sound convincing, but the idea of meeting Mr and Mrs Lupin terrifided you. Not because you were afraid of them, but you were scared of the idea about them thinking you were not enough for their son.

“Why not?! My mum can’t wait to cry with you during one of your favourite films!” he said laughing. 

You looked the boy under you astonished. “You-you told your mum that? Remus Lupin I’m going to kill you!”

You started to tickle him under his armpits, making him wriggling under you. You were sure that the boys in the next dorms could hear you two laugh, but you didn’t care because seeing Remus laughing was the best thing you’ve ever seen in your life. 

You got distracted for a second, a tiny little second that Remus took as an opportunity, so he reversed your positions, finding yourself between the bed and him. With his hands he grabbed your wrists pulling them on the pillow still laughing. 

“You have nothing to worry about, love.” he whispered before kissing you. You smiled in the kiss, feeling the butterflies in your stomach as you were used with him. He interview your right hand with his, letting go the other that you brough in his hairs keeping him close to you. 

Your hands seemed to be made to fit together, his big one was holding your petite one still on the pillow while the kiss got more intense. With his free hand started caressing your hips, gently as a true gentleman, but it was enough to make you lose your mind. You wanted to go on, you wanted him badly, but when his hand fell on your hip bone, you froze. He was leaving little kiss on your neck, thing that would make you crazy few moments ago, but now the only thing you could focus on was his hand touching one of the part of your body where the bones could be feel more. You blocked him, almost brutally, shifting away from under his weight and putting your shoes on ready to go away. 

“Y/N what happened? Did I do something...?” he asked afraid to have done something wrong toward her, feeling his ears burn. 

“No, no. You didn’t do anything wrong.” you said trying to not let your voice break. “I’ve just remebered I have an essay for tomorrow.”

You ran out of his common room, without looking the Marauders that teased you about your time alone with Remus, and when you were alone in the hallway you stopped sitting on the stones floor. Why you had to be so stupid? You were almost there, you were almost done with your insecurities, and it was enough a touch on your hips to make you panicking. You knew that Remus loved you because your intelligence, behaviour and other things you still had to find out, but you also knew that once he will see your body, he will understand that he could have someone better. Someone who is not you. 

You seemed a child, and you still acted in that way the days later, when you avoided him in all ways. You sit at your table with your fellows, sitting with your friends (who were not the Marauders) during lessons and sneaking away before he could pull all his things in his bag. 

Were you on the wrong side? Yes. Were you a coward? Also yes. Could you stop it? No. Your body was the problem that you had since years, and it wasn’t Remus’ fault if he didn’t know nothing, you just didn’t open up with him yet.

So now you were in the Owlery, cuddling your and Remus’ owls like you were used to do every week. You heard a noise in the stairs, but it could be some student you thought, so you kept feeding Remus’ owl.

“So you’re alive!” you froze without glacing back at the boy. “Hardly to tell since we haven’t see you for days.” James Potter could be the funniest guy  of the school, but if you hurt his friends he would make sure that you pay for it, and so you didn’t know what to do; never James had spoken to you with such venom in his voice. 

“Now you see me.” you walked toward the door ready to go away from him, but he stopped you with his voice.

“You know, I told him so!” you looked him confused. “I told him to break up with you a week ago, and you know what he said? He agreed with me.” your eyes bacame wet, trying to not cry in front of him as a child. “He wants to start a new chapter of his life, but he can’t do it if you two don’t break up. Take a move, alright? I don’t want to see him with someone like you. Someone who clearly doesn’t care about him. Who-”

“Prongs! What is happeing here?” Sirius arrived with Peter interrupting James who was burning you with his eyes, if his voice wasn’t already enough.

“Y/N are you fine?” asked Peter worried to see you like that for the first time. You were the stronger one, the girl who never cry, but in front of him, right now, there was a girl...broken.

“Yes, she’s fine. We had just had a talk, she was leaving.” said James without looking away from you. It was clear that he didn’t want to see you again, and you didn’t dare to look at Sirius because you were sure that you would finde the same look in his eyes. Instead you gave a weak smile to Peter, the only one who seemed worried for you, and then you leave wiping away the few tears that fell on your cheeks.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Remus would never dream to leave her, and surely you would never say something like that to him! You care too much about her too to hate her.” Sirius said angrily to his mate while the curly boy was sending a owl that Peter guessed was for Lily.

“We know her, it was the only way to make Y/N take a move. I bet that she is going to speak with Remus right now.” he smirked pleased with himself.

“I can’t decide if you are extremely stupid or a genius.” said Peter running a hand through his hair. 

“We’ll see, Peter, we’ll see.” 

***

James was right, you wanted to speak with Remus, if it was true that he wanted to break up, then you would give him the opportunity, even if the thought broke your heart. When you passed in front of the Great Hall you stopped confused seeing everyone inside, and looking your wrist watch you saw that it was dinner time. This meant that the Astronomy Tower was free, so you walked toward it forgetting about the dinner and hoping that you could spend a night alone with the stars. 

You were sit with your back leaning against the wall, looking the sky, when the door opened and Remus were relief to see you there. “Knew you weere here.” You glaced at him quickly, surprised to hear his voice as soft as you remembered. Wasn’t he angry with you? So why he was there, with a plate full of food in front of you with his kind smile. “I saw you didn’t eat anything tonight, so I brought you something.” he rubbed his neck with his free hand turning in a soft shape of pink that you couldn’t notice due the weak light of the moon. 

“Yeah, I’m not really hungry. But...thanks.” you gave him a soft smile moving uncomfortable in your position. Should you start to speak? Should you wait him to take the first move? You were on the wrong side, you had to speak first, so when he sat beside you shyly, you took a deep breath. “I know why you’re here...and I’m really sorry.” your voice cracked and you looked away. “I’m so sorry, Remus. H-he told me you were thinking about that since a week and it’s fine...” no it wasn’t. “I understand why you want to break up with me. I’m just sorry for how I was toward you these days, I wasn’t angry with you, I swear...” You wiped away the tears with your hands trying to compose yourself. You were not going to cry in front of him, you had no right to cry.

“WHAT? Who told you- Me breaking with- what are you talking about?” he asked astonished looking your confused face.

“James told me you are thinking about breaking up with me since a week...” you said uncertain. 

“Such a dickhead! I can’t believe he told you so, he saw me crying thinking about that YOU wanted breaking up with me!” he moved his hands in the air and you looked him astonished. He hadn’t realized what he said until his eyes met yours. “Well, I wasn’t literally crying... just you know, the full moon is in three days and I get a bit too emotional.” you looked him amused while he tried to find an excuse making you laugh. “it could have been few drops of water, it was hot so I was sweating too.” 

“Oh yeah sure. Few drops of water, yes.” you giggled looking him finding his beautiful smile while his eyes were on you. You had to tell him, you own him. “I have to tell you something, I know I have been awfull toward you, and it’s not your fault. Blimey Remus, I could never think a life without you, not say breaking up with you.”

He left a breath of reliefe keeping listening you carefully. “That night...did I put pressure on you? You didn’t want to...” he blushed without finishing his sentece.

“No, no, no. I want you! I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud, but you have no idea about the thoughts that I have when we are together.” You looked away shyly; taking a deep breath you stood up torturing your hands. “I don’t eat, and it took me to be under weight. The healers say I have to do more meals during the day but I can’t! I-”

He stood up, getting closer to you and wiping away the tears that were falling from your eyes. He wanted hug you so much, but he knew he had to leave you let out everything you kept for yourself for years.

“You know how forgetful I am, and with all the things that happen in a day I forget that I must eat, beacuse I’m never so hungry to notice it. This is why sometime I didn’t sit with you, because I didn’t want to let you see how little I ate...” you were looking down, ashamed by how you were.

He took your hands in his owns. “I know.”

Your eyes shifted on his face suddenly confused, did he know? “What?”

“Honestly, what kind of boyfriend i would be if I don’t notice that my girlfriend eats less than everyone else, or that she doesn’t eat at all? I kinda know how to recognize when someone has a secret.” he shrugged innocently. “But I’ve never said anything because I know you, and I know that you would tell me when you would be ready. I still don’t get the problem, though...”

How he could not see the problem?  “The problem is, that everyone think if you are thin then you have a perfect body. Well it’s not! I have not a perfect body, actually I hate it! With all the clotes on it seem that my body is ‘normal’ for the standard of the people, but without them...” you felt a strange anger inside you, anger toward the people that never cared about your feeling just because you were ‘thin’, without thinking that you could have not like your body. “Without them it’s full of imperfection! But of course, I’m thin so I must be happy, right? I am not, because be thin is not cool. People think that when you are thin you have no problems, I don’t know the others, but surely not when you are as thin as me.” 

You had walked away from him, too angry to stay still, and now you were taking deep breaths trying to calm down. Remus came in front of you slowly, understanding your all point. “Are you really talking abour imperfection with someone who has scars on all his body?” 

“You know that I love your scars.” you rolled your eyes looking everyshere but him and wiping away the last tears.

“And I love you. Again, I don’t see the problem.” his smile made you ask if you spoke english or not, the problem was evident.

“You are used to see me like that; clotes, make up, with my awesome personality and intelligence.” you joked a little. “But I don’t know if you will still love me if I show you everything. I mean, I don’t love me too, so why should you do it?” 

He felt sad suddenly, it hurted him see you like that; see you full of insecurities like him. For him, you were the most beautiful girl in the world, didn’t matter how much imperfections you had. “ I wish you could see yourself with my eyes. So you would understand that I’m in love with you, all of you. I don’t care about some imperfections, those are the things that make me understamd how much you are perfect to me.” 

“I love you too.” You whispered back, without knowing what to say. 

He kissed you softly, caressing your cheek with one hand and wrapping the other around you. You brought your hands behind his neck smiling, you have been such a idiot, avoiding him for days have been the most difficult thing to do; you needed him like the air.��“And then, I’m curious about those thounghts of yours.”

He joked keeping his forehead resting on yours, and you blushed a little. “Sure, but now I’m hungry.” you took his tie pulling him down again to kiss him, knowing that he will always love you as you are. 

[devinescribe]

Back Then

Part 9 to '100 Promises'

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"Hey, call me back when you get this, or um... when you have a minute. I know you're busy, but... just... call me when you get the chance," your voice softly said through the phone. It sounded like you had been crying. He sighed, running a hand through his already messy hair. "Fuck... (Y/N). She really needs me right now, and I'm at work. Damn it," he cursed, leaning back in his chair.

You had to go up to Iwate, as your mother had called the night before in tears saying your grandmother had passed away. He knew how much pain you were in. You were always close to your grandmother. He quickly dialed your number, putting the phone up to hear ear, listening to it ring. He tapped his fingers on the desk anxiously, reading through the paper that explained the basis of what the game was so he could have a distraction. He heard you pick up. "H-hello?" You sniffled. "Hey (N/N), how are you holding up?" He asked. He heard you laugh softly. "Not well at all, if I'm being honest. I wish you were here with me," you said, your voice shaky. It pained him that he wasn't there. "I wish I was there to help you, but I really can't... I'm so sorry (Y/N)," he said. The door to the office opened, and he turned quickly, seeing his coworker. Niragi pointed to his phone in apology. " 'Ragi... can we video call later? Please?" You asked. "Yeah, yeah... we can do that. I'll call you later, I promise. I have to go though. I'm so sorry again (N/N)," he said, trying to excuse himself without sounding rude. "Ok... thanks for calling. I know you're at work, so thank you for making time for me... Bye, love you," you responded. He could hear the tears in your voice. "No problem. Love you too, bye," he responded(is that... weird? Because I do that my friends, and I just- I don't know-.) The line disconnected, and he dropped his head into his hands.

"That your girlfriend?" His coworker asked. He had forgotten they were in they room. Niragi lifted his head from his hands, and shook his head. "No. She's my friend," he responded. "Oh. You two much be close then?" His coworker questioned. Niragi nodded. "Did something happen? You seemed to be fustrated at something," they observed. "Oh, no.... it's just that her grandmother passed away, and she's... she's handling it. But, it's hard on her, as expected. She keeps saying how she wishes I was there to help her, but I really can't," Niragi explained. This coworker of his was one of the pleasant ones. One the ones who did their fair share of work, and wasn't annoying. So, by that logic, Niragi didn't mind them. "Oh... that sucks. My condolences to her..." they said sincerely. Niragi knew they didn't really know how to... people correctly. What that mean was, they were kind of awkward, but so was he. Maybe that's why they didn't really get in each other's way. "Maybe you could say it's a family emergency? If you're that close with her, of course." They suggested. They walked over to his messy desk, pointing at a picture. "Is that her?" They asked. Niragi nodded. "I think that was from... oh gods... two summers ago? Yeah..." he muttered. "I mean, it's probably not a good idea to lie to the boss, but if you're that worried, I think it's a justified lie," the said. Niragi nodded, but didn't say anything, getting lost in his thoughts.

"I um... I came to give you this. The client changed their mind about a few things," they said, placing a folder of papers down. "Oh you've got to be fucking joking me," he groaned, before quickly apologizing for his language. Sure, if he was alone in his office he'd swear, but there was someone else in the office now. That wasn't exactly work appropriate. "No, no... that's... that sums up everyone's reaction. Especially since we were so close to being done... well, I'll leave you to it," they said, leaving with the soft shutting of the door. He sighed, picking up the file, reading through the changes. He tried to concentrate, but his mind was elsewhere. You had taken time off before to help him, so why couldn't he? What if he did what his coworker advised? He made up his mind quickly, not really thinking of anything other than the fact that right now, you needed him. And you were always there when he needed you. You always took care of him, even when you didn't need to.

He dialled your phone number again, this time, it was a video call just like you asked. "Hey," you voice greeted him. You were in what he assumed to be your bed at your grandmother's house. "'Hey. So... I may or may not have lied to my boss about something, so if he asks, promise you'll go along with it?" He asked. "Umm.. depends," you responded. "Ok, I'll tell you in a second. Just... come open the door it's freezing out here," he said, a small smile on his face. Your eyes lit up, and you dropped the phone running downstairs. He could hear your footsteps, and ended the call. You opened the door, and hugged him tightly.  He almost stumbled from your attack, but hugged you back. "I- I thought you had- had work?" You questioned, drying the tears that had started. "Yeah, so... if my boss ever asks... um... just-" he stuttered. ''What did you tell him we were married?" You laughed. "Not... exactly?" He hesitated. "You told him we were engaged, didn't you?" You asked. "I needed to come up with a believable lie, and it was the first ting that came to mind, please don't be mad," he explained nervously. "I'm not... thank you for doing... all of that to come here. I really appreciate it," you said, bringing him inside. Your mother hadn't made it yet, as she was on a trip in America. She'd gotten the news over call, so you were alone in the house. Well, that was until Niragu showed up, but you're glad he did.

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It was the middle of the night, and you couldn't sleep. There was always something keeping you up. You threw the blankets off of your body in frustration, standing up. You walked into the kitchen, and grabbed a cup, filling it with water. "What are you doing up so late?"

You jumped, dropping the glass. It shattered on the floor, spilling water and glass everywhere. You looked up to see Niragi. "Haha. I can't sleep," you explained, picking up the larger pieces of glass. "Well that sucks," he said, leaning on the counter. "Yeah, I'm going to go on a walk to see if I get tired," you said, drying up the water. "(Y/N), it's night time," he said. You finished picking up and nodded. "I'm... well aware," you responded confused. "You're a woman... going out for a walk... at night. Alone," he reminded. You sighed looking down. He was definitely on the right track. "Right... uh, I'll just go to my room then... we don't have plans tomorrow do we?" You asked. He shook his head. "You know what? No, come on. I'll drive you around, yeah? Let's see if we can find something to get you tired," he said, grabbing his keys off the counter. You grabbed his arm, stopping him. "Can I get my hoodie? It's cold," you asked. You were in a tank top and a pair of spandex. "Yeah. I'll be in the car, don't take too long," he said, leaving.

You quickly ran to your room, throwing on your favorite hoodie. You also grabbed a pair of tennis shoes from your closet, slipping them on. You snatched your phone from your dresser, putting it in the pocket of your hoodie. You ran to the front door, locking it, and closing it behind you. You ran out to his car, opening the passenger side door. You felt the warmth from inside the car, and goosebumps appeared on your skin. You got in quickly, shutting the door as you did. "Ready?" He asked. You nodded, and he began driving.

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"Alright, it's the moment of truth, which mental breakdown thing will we do today?" You questioned. He laughed. "It's 2 in the morning, we're drunk, and having mental breakdowns. Twinsies~" he said. You laughed, leaning on him. "No but seriously, cutting my hair is a big no, so tattoos or piercings?" You questioned. "Both. Let's go!" You shouted, grabbing his arm. "Woah Woah woah. Before we go, what do we do if a cop pulls us over?" He asked, being serious. "Nothing. ACAB bitch," you giggled. "Ok, and I'm driving-"

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All in all, you two had moments that seems like you were the main characters of the whole world. Of course, during high school you two were cautious about what you did, seeing as you still had to worry about your bullies and fathers. But after high school? Oh, no. You two were the kids that didn't have to study for the test because you were to smart. Staying out at parties and keeping perfect grades was your guy's thing.

You two would stay up doing projects out of your own ambition. The essay was due in a month and needed to be 3 pages? You would both finish and turn it in the week it was assigned, and it was 13 pages. Of course, that was a problem, seeing as you would extend yourselves past your limits. It was a thing you were taught to do as children to be overachievers because you would do anything to please your parents. Even if you knew they would never be pleased.

Maybe that's why your previous relationships hadn't worked out. There was 4 in total.

The first broke up with you because he didn't like Niragi. What did they want you to do? Drop your childhood best friend? No way.

The second cheated on you. Niragi had warned you, but you didn't listen. He had said that he thought you were cheating on him with Niragi.

The third turned out to be a manipulator, which you caught on to quickly. He tried to manipulate a girl who grew up with an abusive father, who takes forensics and psychology classes. So, in short, he was a dumbass.

The fourth... the fourth was just annoyingly clingy. He didn't want you to talk to other guys, and didn't let you as independent as you wanted to be.

One thing they all had in common though, was that they didn't like Niragi. They expected you to drop your best friend for them, something you wouldn't do, and didn't plan on ever doing.

"What are you thinking about?" Last Boss whispered next to you. It caught you off guard, and you jumped. "Ah, sorry... just... thinking about stuff. Nothing important," you said. He nodded, going back to whatever he was doing beforw. Niragi smirked, nudging you with his elbow. "You got Last Boss to talk to you? Oh he must like you a lot," Niragi teased, rather loudly. You rolled your eyes, and you heard Last Boss scoff. "What are you? The guys from high school?" You said. His face scrunched up in disgust, and you saw his hands grip onto his gun. You cautiously moved away slightly. "Don't compare me to them," he spat. You nodded your head to his gun. "Then don't act like them."