#Idk why but lately for some strange reason I feel like I'm not welcome in the fandoms at all

[tamiisnthere]

Probably nobody will care about my ramblings, but...

I'm honestly emotionally attached to Altaïr so deeply that I don't crush on any other character anymore, only him.

When I think of the angst scenario with him, it makes me want to cry.

When I think of the sweet and lovely scenarios with him, I cry, but this time with joy.

He is not only my moral support, but also my conscience and best friend. Whenever I'm playing a video game or watching something, I always imagine that he's with me.

And when I sleep, I hug my blanket, imaging him cuddling with me while sleeping.

It hurts me he's not real because I want to talk to him, hug him, cuddle him, kiss him and comfort me when I'm at my worst emotional breakdowns.

I've been crushing on him for 4 years now and it's not stopping anytime soon. However, a thought recently occurred to me: what would it be like if I met him in person (not as my persona, but irl me)? Surely he would see me as just a random civilian, maybe as a burden like those beggars in the game.

I would understand and wouldn't mind that he would never be interested in me (unlike my persona, which would be the end of the world for her lol). We could have at least been friends at most, that would be nice too.

I don't know why, but since day one I'm always waiting for someone who is going to insult me about why I'm shipping with him and that I should find someone in real life or even probably need therapy. But I've lost hope of finding love irl, cause very few dudes would be like my Alty + I'm very shy, weird and boring outsider/loser...

[larrysanasshole]

Something silly about larry who comforts reader because I had a breakdown about my relationships lol

Also inspired by the song moves from Suki Waterhouse and he may be a little high idk

The school's parties have always been strangely uncomfortable events that most people attend simply because there weren't more interesting things to do in Nockfell or.... No, those were actually all the reasons why the school gymnasium was more crowded than usual. The cheapest gaudy colorful decorations hung on the walls and ceiling imitating streamers, and the tables were decorated with tablecloths in strange patterns. Not to mention the food which was the most ordinary snacks. For the most part, it resembled a normal school day, but more elegant.That's why you didn't want to come. There was no point in wasting time getting ready just because someone on the school staff wanted to throw a party to welcome spring. What was it, kindergarten?

Unfortunately, however, you ended up at this unfortunate party, or more precisely, due to your partner. Things had been getting worse between you lately, you were constantly arguing, even about silly things. Going out and having fun together was supposed to at least get your relationship back on track, but it ended just as you might have expected. - Would you please stop reproaching me! We came here to have fun!- your partner said through clenched teeth so that the others would not draw their attention to you, although the tension between you was palpable to the point of being over the top. - According to you, flirting with other girls is fun?- you asked in response equally annoyed and your voice faltered. He did it all the time, acted as if he wasn't in a relationship at all, and when you paid attention to him, the argument started. - I was just talking to them! Do you have to make it so difficult to be with you? You know what, I do not want to hear your answer. If I'm bothering you so much then enjoy yourself.- He announced in a harsh tone without even allowing you to respond only turned away the tension and went to his friends thus leaving you alone. For a moment you still stood still staring ahead before you felt a tightness in your chest.

Crying itself wouldn't have been such a terrible thing yet, if it weren't for the fact that there were people around you who knew you and who might be too pinched the next day at school. - fuck it all- you said to yourself in your mind while taking your purse from one of the tables and quickly headed towards the exit. Your heart was beating uncomfortably fast and your vision was blurred by tears wanting to run down your cheeks. You only allowed it when the still gently cool air hit your face. You sat on the stairs throwing your purse somewhere off to the side, not even anything of value was there. You don't even know what or who exactly you were angry at, that stupid party? Those girls there, that asshole or at yourself for letting yourself be treated that way. A shudder went through your body through your sobs. It was so overwhelming, believing that anything would change. Maybe you really were to blame yourself?

- Not that I'm judging, but I don't think this is where the party is- a playful boy's voice next to you spoke up, making you feel even worse. Lifting your gaze your eyes appeared none other than Larry Johnson. You were familiar with him from art class, but you never had any major interaction, occasionally he threw in some joke during class or something, but mostly you were strangers to each other. Shame mixed with despair for you. However, it did not escape your attention that his expression changed seeing your red eyes and tears still running down your skin. Surely he looked confused, but also slightly panicked? Most likely because of his misplaced joke.

- sorry, this is probably not the right moment- he added immediately with a nervous smile, and his hands began to correct the sleeves of his dark shirt.

- nothing happened, it won't get any worse-you replied without anger or irritation, and this curious thing worried him even more. He moved uncomfortably not knowing what he should do, he wasn't very good at comforting people, but he also didn't want to just leave you, it seemed just as awful. Willing or not, he also took a seat on the stairs, farther away from you to keep a proper distance, but he was there.

- You'd better not say that, or something worse will really happen.- He said wanting to lighten the atmosphere and reached into the pocket of his pants to pull out crumpled cigarettes and a lighter. You felt like crying even more. You silently wiped your tears while looking at your shoes. You heard him use the lighter, and immediately took a drag. You wondered if he was sitting with you out of pity.

- I don't know how to comfort people, if I started talking some cheerful nonsense it would hardly even help- He started to speak wanting to support you in any way. You interrupted him before he could speak further.

- This is solely my fault. I brought myself to such a state- You said raising your eyes to look ahead. Your hands were resting on your knees, it's been a long time since you felt this bad.

Larry was silent for a while, and only through the still hovering cigarette smoke were you sure he was next to you.

- I do not know what exactly happened, but if it is not a meteorite falling from the sky then you can always change something. I mean, the simplest things bring results.- He shrugged his shoulders, he really did not know how to comfort. His words were so simple and yet true and made the

that the wind was not so cold.

- Unless someone hurt you, then it all doesn't matter, please tell me it's not that- he quickly added realizing that he really didn't know what had happened. You shook your head so that sometimes he wouldn't start panicking along with you too.

- Thank goodness, in that case, what else can you do but try to make a difference?- He returned to his speech, and you began to wonder if he knew it was about your partner. You had always thought that your relationship was quite private and no one but you knew about your bickering, but now you were beginning to doubt it. You had no intention of asking, for your own comfort.

- I can sit here and cry further- You suggested quietly wiping your cheeks on which there were fewer and fewer new tears. Turning your head to the side immediately your gaze met his. He was just taking a drag on his cigarette, but at your words he raised his eyebrows.

- In that outfit? On the stairs where everyone walked by wiping their shoes? Along with Travis?- he said with feigned disbelief. Your eyes continued to be red and glassy, but instead of sobbing you burst into laughter. His words were so silly as to be funny, and his facial expression only added more to the humorous flavor of it all.

- bleh, You just made me want to burn this dress now and I feel even worse- You complained while getting up from your seat which brought a smile to his face, he was in no hurry to get up from his seat.

- I'm just telling the truth- He replied finishing his smoke with that he threw the cigarette on the ground and crushed it with his shoe. You looked at him not knowing what to feel anymore. You continued to feel awful, but it was more bearable than a moment before.

- are you going back inside, or are you going home?- he asked, casting his gaze to the front door from behind which the music was still coming.

- I will go home. I'm sorry that you had to witness my breakdown- You muttered, not really wanting to deal with shame yet now, there will be a good time for that, for example, the next day.

- me? I had a nice time at the party, my couple was a little emotionally unstable, but otherwise it's pretty good.- He said once again making something other than sadness appear on your face.

- just don't tell anyone about it- You said going down the rest of the stairs. You didn't hear if he answered you and so it didn't matter now, the confusion in your head was drowning out everything anyway.

Maybe you really could have changed everything? Start all over again?

He made it sound so easy, and even if he was joking, maybe that was the truth? You wondered about this all the way back to your house.

Getting everything in order took a little longer than you would have liked and definitely longer than just crying in your room, but the final decision has already made some changes.

Being single and taking extra art classes really served you!

[erismerald]

MY NEW ROAD - Chapter 1

» Older Daniel Diaz x reader 

» Warnings: mature, romance, blood, gang                                             

Chapter 2

» So i was hoping i could read something about daniel diaz, at the end of 5 ep, and as i was sick of waiting,  so i decided to write a long short about older daniel diaz, so let's go :)

And there I was, in this moment  i was terrified, I could I feel my blood coming out of my belly, it hurts a lot... I couldn't breathe, or think, to be honest I didn't know what to do... Who is he? Why is he here? For a few seconds i felt my body being lifted up.

" Y/N ? Oh please wake up... ahhh SEAN!!!!"

I recognized this voice, but I just let my eyes close, I felt my body fall asleep.

*A FEW HOURS EARLIER*

So HI!! My name is y/n, im 17 and right now I'm living on my own in Mexico, more property in puerto lobos.

I'm a very simple girl, I grew up in LA with my grandparents, I never met my parents, and during my life, my grandparents never told me about their daughter, they just told me that she had abandoned me when I was Little, and as for my father, they didn't know who she was, so I never really cared about that.

I've been living here for about six weeks,I study in a small americam school, near here. I'm loving living here I never thought, that a dream I had since I was little would come true so soon, I decided to live here, because I love Mexican culture and not to mention that living by the beach never tires anyone, and I still have the privilege of seeing the sunset disappear into the waves...

Since I was a child I was very shy and I don't know how to express myself to others anht this is the reason why I've not be able to make friends in this new school yet, I feel ashamed when they look at me or try to talk to me, it's complicated, however, I've always managed to make some friends in LA, people I talk to almost every single day.

it's already 7 am i think i should be preparing for school but i think laziness has won ahaha, I got up and tried to take as little time as possible, I don't want to be late again or Ms. Lopez will kick me out of her class again.

I was new to that school and it wasn't the first time I was late, which I can say I love sleeping, but I have to work harder to make sure that doesn't happen, and I'm going to start right now haha.

I tried to take as little time as possible, of course that for me it's kind of impossible, because, I still had to take a shower before going, but I think at least I won't be late this time, I look at the clock and OMG is already 7:50 and the classes start at 8:00, ahhhhh how will I get to school in 10... Afff so much effort for nothing, well at least I can still get to the beginning of the first class.

On the way to school, I saw him again... I think his name is Daniel, he's from my class but I never talked to him before, and to be honest, I never had the courage to talk to him, well... not only with him, I think with everyone in general, so far I haven't made any friends, except the lady from the apartment next door, and we only talk on Sundays, because we have the same way when we go to church.

  I think I've been looking at him too long... why do I say that? He's looking at me right now. I can't deny it he's beautiful... he's so mysterious, but from what I've seen of him, at school he's very fun, reserved, but fun.

I felt him staring at me, which made me completely ashamed, and my only option for not having to talk to him was to hit him and not, to look at him as I passed by, even with my back to him his gaze managed to make me feel a huge chill, but it's a good thing that I'm already arriving at school.

For real I didn't know what to tell him anyways.

When i arrived at school i came across Ms.Lopez on the way. And I think it was at this moment that I realized I was completely fucked up, I tried to go unnoticed, but without success.

And when I turned back I only saw her ferocious gaze directed at me.

"Miss l/n shouldn't be in class already. Preferably sitting at your desk waiting for me." - she looked at me with a deadly look on her face

"oh I finally find you y/n, thx for waiting for me, and here you have your Spanish book that you lent me." He looked at me and winked at me, so that I could continue with the theater.

"O-of course I do, Daniel, there's nothing to be thankful for" he stands next to me and takes my hand. And he gave me the book, I felt my heart go off a thousand an hour...When I lifted my face I saw his eyes glued on me, why did he protect me?

"Is that why you were late?" She looked at me and then at Daniel, I felt the anger in her eyes

"yes i decided to wait for daniel" i smiled at her, and i felt daniel put himself behind me

"Vamos, no te enojes con ella, maestra. Sólo fue esta vez (Come on, don't get mad at her, teacher. It was just this time .)" Daniel grabbed my shoulders and spoke, I saw Ms. Lopez calm her eyes and take a deep breath.

"Hum being so, i let you pass your delay this time you two have 5 minutes to introduce you in my class, and miss L/N thank the boy Daniel for helping her " his voice was calm now but his words were cold.

She continued on her way to the classroom, and I hear Daniel laughed

"You're welcome!" daniel said as my body moved, his voice was now hoarse, I sounded hypnotized by the voice of him.

"T-thank you for helping me." I tried to be short and quick in my answer. I was so nervous and idk why.

"let's go to class before Ms. Lopez decides to murder us, because we're late" daniel just went on her way but stopped 3 steps ahead of me.

"will have to pull you?" he laughs softly and throws a half smile, my heart, jumped a beat when i saw that smile.

"Y-yes" I just followed him.... When we arrived in the room each one sat in his seat, but for some reason, Daniel kept looking at me and it made me nervous for the rest of the time.

During the rest of the day, everything went as usual, except for the failed attempt by me to escape Daniel's gaze, I  don't know what he was looking for in me, but I think I managed to make him lose interest for a while. I think.

When I finally rang the exit bell, I was the first to leave for the first time, I didn't want to know anything else, I just wanted to get home and enjoy being alone.

When I walked through the school gate, I took a deep breath and tried to rearrange my ideas, how can something as simple as talking to a person make me so nervous?

I'll speed up the walk and look at the sky and then at the sea at the end of the street to calm myself down. I didn't understand what was going on this day but I just asked it to end quickly. Yeah, to tell you the truth, I've never had a boy look at me for so long, am I getting a crush on him? AHHHHH well  I hope not.

When I was almost at home, I felt a chill on my back and soon I could be able to realized what was happening....

"Are you trying to avoid me?" Not that voice, not again.

I turned slowly and there he was, did he follow me? When I looked at him I felt my face boiling with shame.

"Did the Cat eat your tongue?" he looked at me and laughed, and began to approach me.

I tried to ignore to not have to answer, I really suffered from many anxiety problems and did not know what to do in these situations.

"okay i got you, you don't want to talk to me don't worry" he looked at the floor and his cheerful expression went to sadness

"well see you tomorrow at school" when he was going to turn around and continue on his way i screamed

"WAIT"

He turned to me and smiled... OH God that smile was so sweet

"I thought you weren't gonna answer ahaha."

"I'm not ignoring you, or avoiding you...I'm just too shy to talk" I couldn't face his eyes so I just looked at the ground.

"Are you sure? I didn't want to get into it with Ms Lopez, but I knew if I didn't, she'd kick you out of her class" when I looked up I came across the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen.

It made me blush, involuntarily, I didn't know what to say.

"thank you...and it's okay, I'd be kicked out if it wasn't for you too, so thank you for helping me."

"You're welcome, I've always seen you being very shy with everyone and you don't seem to be the kind of person who would be late on purpose, well, I won't take up your time. See you tomorrow"

he said with a perverse smile on his face

"Oh and if tomorrow you want company for the school I can wait here for you".

I didn't have time to say anything else I just agreed and entered the building.

When I got home I lay on the couch, looking at the ceiling, trying to see what had happened, I didn't notice it, but I felt my body tired and ended up falling asleep.

"Daniel... Something about him attracted me...'

I opened my eyes very slowly, I looked at the window and it was already dark, I picked up my phone and turned it on, I had 5 unanswered calls from my grandmother, this was strange she didn't call me so often

I dialed her number and called...

"y/n honey is you?"

"yes Grandma, what's going on?  I'm sorry I was so tired that I fell asleep and didn't hear you call".

Without telling me anything else she felt like she was crying, but what happened to make my grandmother cry she hardly ever does, and when I say that she doesn't, it's because it's rare.

"Honey, I have something to tell you... Your mother is looking for you," those words left me unanswered, my mother?

No...

No...

Couldn't be, my mother abandoned me 16 years ago, for me she died... I started crying, that person who abandoned me 16 years ago, now its looking for me why? I had so many questions in my mind, I couldn't talk to anybody, I just need some time.

"honey are there? Y/n?" My grandmother called me...

"I'm sorry Grandma, I need to think a little, I'll call you later."

"darling no-" i hung up on her, i don't like to do this but i need time to process

I got up, grabbed my jacket and went out towards the beachWhen I got there I sat down on the sand, and watched the sea, and the waves coming at me, I didn't want to believe that my mother was looking for me, if she hadn't wanted me in 16 years, she wouldn't want me now.... Now I did not even want her back

At that moment I felt that I was not alone there, I turned around and saw a group of people coming towards me.

I got up quickly and tried to get out of there, but it was too late.

Fear sometimes makes us irrational, and at this moment I did not know what to do, I did not know how to react, I was scared, I felt one of the men grabbing me by the arms, and attached me to his body

"hey you, don't move so much kittens, let's talk"

The second man spoke and stood in front of me, and grabbed my face forcing me to look at him.

"so you're the Diaz little princess aren't you?" I wasn't noticing anything, I just tried to get away but without success, I wonder what would happen to me...

I tried to fight and I tried to let go, but unfortunately I only did worse, he pressed himself behind my back and won't let me go.

"Let's teach that boy a lesson, that's what he and his brother will pay to judge us dumb."

One of them pulled a knife out of his waist and approached me...

"NO PLEASE DON'T"

I started screaming, and crying madly, I was now completely scared.

At that very moment, I felt the blade pierce my skin... I didn't know what to do, I just tried to struggle

But when I turned my head, there he was, out of nowhere, the people around me were thrown away, I felt my body fall into the sand...

And there I was, in this moment  i was terrified, I could I feel my blood coming out of my belly, it hurts a lot... I couldn't breathe, or think, to be honest I didn't know what to do... Who is he? Why is he here? For a few seconds i felt my body being lifted up.

" Y/N ? Oh please wake up... ahhh SEAN!!!!"

I recognized this voice, but I just let my eyes close, I felt my body fall asleep...

But to be honest I felt my body warm, from this moment on, it just got dark.

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